My last post would have given an indication of what is to come in the future, friends be going off to unknown lands, again to explore and learn about themselves and explore the world and expand their horizons.
So it is quite obvious, apart form the sleepover there would be the oh so spectacular night out. Normally confined to the weekend, we decided to move this party along to the greatest day of the week, the new party night , a freaking Monday, that too a monday in which I would have to update my weekly sales binders for the big honchos to see. Nevertheless I decided to take care of that way before our stipulated time to meet, ie 7 PM on the dot. We need more time since we planned to get drunk, or at least Babla, chintoo and Nagu did.
Things never go as planned and sure as hell I get a call in which I am asked to download this huge data dump which would have taken me a whole day.[ still doing it in parts] and I had to give it in 30 minutes, not going to happen I think to myself and I call chintoo to tell him we need to meet later
"Make it 8 PM, its gonna take me some time"
That 8 PM becomes 8:30 and at one time I had resigned myself to not being able to go out for the final drunken escapade for quite a while, my friends come a calling at 8:30, screw work, called the boss and left for an epic night out.
Grabbed a cab with Babla, Chintoo and Nagu and headed off to the favorite destination to get good food,[ especially duck] and cheap booze, Tangra, the chinatown of Calcutta, the ride was a good 30 minutes from my office but as usual the drive is anything but boring with a ton of stories, laughs and abuses flying about from one guy to another.
We reach our beloved Cin Shing restaurant in the middle of Tangra at around 9:15 PM, a desolate place with just the construction of a new flyover and the zooming cars whizzing by that would only provide us any sign of life around for around a kilometer or two.
Now getting to this place, the restaurant was hard, since the entire road was dug up and this moat had formed around the premises, we had to cross over a plank of wood, each scared that their fat ass might collapse the plank and we would end up in the much which would probably have had feces, vomit, urine, and a whole host of bacteria just floating about. Luckily the plank did not snap , I guess since I was praying to the Lord , we made it across is what matters I guess.
We walk in with just another group of guys like us waiting and hogging stuff off another table, taking a table at the corner, the first thing I eye up is the amount of soda or at least the variety of cola drinks they had in the cooler, last time I was here I had around 7 different fizzy drinks, this time I was out to beat my record.
The ordering starts with a ton of prawn chips and chicken fried wontons, while the other guys decide on drinking alcohol, I decide to start my carbonated madness with a bottle of Thumbs Up, the best selling indian soft drink, EVER!, chintoo goes for a fosters, babla and nagu decided to have Blenders Pride while downing a ton of chips and fried nuts, we also ordered the classic Peking Duck and some amazing fried fish with another round of wontons to go about, the food was the king, the alcohol was the mistress and I was there to face the madness.
The person first hit seemed to be babla, which is funny because he normally handles alcohol the best amongst the other 3, laughing hard, screaming out to us that "This is the highest high I have been in a while" and "I have never been this happy being high in a while", of course there is the ever so needed call to his new squeeze saying how much he really loves her and all, alcohol brings out all the secrets in em all.
Rohit also did the same route, called Bhabhiji up, spoke in this hush hush tone, probably about him running away to the US , we also had a chat with Bhabhiji, me being the sober one also acted the most crass by constantly abusing over the phone, not at her but at the other members of our club. Oh and rohit for some reason decided to have 3 beers and chugged em all down one by one, no waiting, then he goes berserk and starts hitting his head and shaking it about like some ants had entered his ear.
Nagu kept and played it cool, not talking much, just drinking, funnily he kept himself in control the best and didn't act freaky like Babla or chintoo did, however its because of him we came up, I came up with the line for the year, while Rohit and Babla are constantly teasing him about his "Kritika" , while I for once tried to reason and take his side, as soon as I said "Nagu......"
He shouts out
"Shut UP ADEEEEEM!!!!"
I tell him " You idiot for once listen to me, either you treat me like an equal in the group or treat me like a muslim", they all start laughing crazy.He still keeps denying he has a soft spot for the girl but finally after being drunk he does reveal that he and her are going to work in the same city, again, if that is not the lord telling him to move in with the girl for life, I don't know what is.
"Line of the night" says Chintoo, agrees Babla and Nagu.
While they keep on drinking, I have my own personal fight with the cold drinks , downed a thumbs up, fanta, sprite, 7 up and a Limca, I finally had to retire with another bottle of Thumbs up.I was so filled with a ton of soft drinks that I did not touch the next round of wontons although I absolutely love em.
While we decide to leave the premise at around 11 PM, something strikes chintoo and he says "Dude, that PLANK!!!!!"
"If I fall into the ditch with the water, do not pick me up and let me die there, DO NOT PICK ME UP, I CANNOT GO BACK IN THAT STATE"
So we climb down the stairs, Nagu has gone ahead of us while I try to take Babla along with me, he constantly abuses me "I don't need help fucking chut, move aside, I can control myself"
Rohit goes on a blitzkrieg and starts hitting me for no reason , we walk slowly towards the end of the road when Nagu shouts out "FAAAAAAKKKK man ADEEEEEEEEMMM"
"What happened?"
Nagu : "Dude those planks..... they are not there anymore, just some bamboo that is all."
me :"Stop fucking around you idiot"
Nagu " I am not joking"
Sure enough, some chuts removed the planks and we were stuck thinking what can we do to move across, luckily or unluckily we saw a pair of bamboo poles tied up above the ground with another on tied around waste high which we could use, Chintoo goes across, so does nagu, Babla is the one we are scared off and Chintoo eggs him on, comforting him he can do it.
Now its my turn, while I gingerly try to come across, Chintoo for some fucked up reason decides, lets have fun with the Musalman and starts shaking the bamboo sticks, I am scuttling across in fear of falling into a ditch while the bastard has a jolly good time laughing at my predicament.
We now have to walk around a kilometer against oncoming traffic going at around 60-70 KMPH and we are not on the pavement since there is no pavement, I am coming along with Babla to make sure nothing happens, he is on an abusing spree, showing everyone the finger, every car he is showing the finger and how he would fuck people, showing the indian F U sign, he pushes me away and wants to walk it alone.
We reach Topsia after a walk and take an auto to Park Circus, Babla loves the wind in his hair and is laughing his arse off for no reason, we get off the auto and now Babla does not want to go back home, its 11: 30 and he is insisting on going somewhere else, then he wants to have something sweeeeeet.
While the other 3 try to find a way back home, Babla vanishes and reappears with chocolates for all, Yay Willy Bonkers is back, abusing all the way infront of the Arsalan restaurant, hell he even wants to have shit ice cream, rohit has an ice cream, in his state of drunkeness he buys a mango ice cream thinking it was orange, while Babla had the same, Nagu and I had the safe chocbar, Babla is still not happy with his sugar intake for the night and buys 4 large Cadbury dairy Milk bars for all of us to have, While I hogged down mine and Rohit's since he did not want to have it, Babla kept his for later.
We took a cab back to Kidderpore, since I had to go home and get to bed for a long day in office, Babla again did not want to go back home, insisting on moving about, then he goes on berserk mode and starts to mouth of obscenities to the cab driver and tries to make him eat the chocolate bar he had kept with himself.
"Nahi, woh boka choda ko khana hoga, I have had enough of them bastards refusing to take us from one point to another"
We pacify him enough , although he does shout of abuses to random people, including police officers, tries to shove his leg outside the window of the car and almost beats nagu up for no reason, oh and I forgot to tell you, right outside the restaurant he tried to climb a lamppost, so there you go, the babla was finally released from his cage.
At a bridge Rohit sees a ton of graffiti and says
"You know how I can tell its the work of an STB student?..... its cause they can't spell for fucks sake"
True that.
When I dropped the 3 off at kidderpore before I took the cab to my place, babla shouts out one more piece of advise
"If the bastard has not had the chocolate yet, don't fucking pay the mother fucker"
Told like a true STB ite against a taxi driver who was wondering whether he would make it back alive or not.
While I thought this would/could have been the last ever night out like this, a pact has been made, every year from now on, ONCE at least once shall all us friends meet up and go on a night of drunken madness for 3 of the people and 1 person just trying to get them all back in 1 piece.
Showing posts with label STB. Show all posts
Showing posts with label STB. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Kidderpore/Ekbalpore: A city in a city
Living in a city with a population of close to 5 million is not easy, vast stretches of land with tons of teaming people, the hustle and bustle of a so called Metro city and now work being another variable put into an equation called life.
Fortunately for me, I live in an area called Kidderpore/Ekbalpore which I used to think was just a noisy little neighborhood with randomness and the typical days of life just passing by. Never did I think this one area would actually serve a much larger purpose in life.
For close to 5 years I commuted to an area called Salt Lake for education, my graduation and post graduation courses were done in this area. Roaming about was a necessity as with most college students because no one in their graduation does ever go to class , rather bunks class to roam about freely and explore said world.
Now coming from the "city" of Kidderpore where there were constant fights in school, mad people running about and throwing stones in front of shops, violence on the streets, having our own version of the "bull run" during Eid [yeah ZNMD has nothing on what I have seen] and other random acts of awesomeness, Salt Lake seemed to pale in comparison. It was a ghost town, no matter what time you roam about in that area, barring the office zones, the rest of the place is dead.
I mean I have roamed around at 7 AM, barely 10 people on the street and a long stretch of land that was too, 5 PM same case, not one person can be seen in the balcony of the many houses that litter the street, not many people can be seen on the road. Compare that to Kidderpore, be it 7 AM or 7 PM, or 10 AM or 10 PM there are at least 20-30 people doing nothing but roaming about and having a jolly good time with their friends and all. In fact when I stay awake after a Champs League match , roughly 3 AM there are people on the street just sitting about, probably got kicked out of the house by their wife or they must have been tired from the constant nagging but the point is the place does not feel dead , its bustling with energy, be it in the crazy winters we get here now or the scorching hot summers, Kidderpore/Ekbalpore is the place to be for random madness on the street, people should be charged for sitting and watching the world go by in this area because its just that brilliant.
Cases of awesomeness,
Random fights on the street thanks to the drones of STB students around , every single freaking day with the fight never really taking place [most of the time] this was just a way to make new friends and "bhais" actually.
Crazy lady out near the shops with bricks in her hands chasing random people while the police are busy extorting money from the big trucks.
The traffic jam post 10 PM because of the huge 16 wheelers [not 18] taking the one route through Kidderpore to reach the dock.
At least 20-30 random people on the street 24/7
The amazing celebrations and dance during the puja,christmas, new year, diwali, holi etc etc etc all dancing to the tune of "It's my life" and "Saath Samundar Paar"
The randomness and awesomeness of having a china town like market in your own backyard and being to search for amazing deals and cut prices [Fancy Market]
The running of the bulls [cows] during Eid.
The chasing and beating up of a local goon if he ever is caught , when he tries to steal shoes/slippers from outside the Mosque/Temple.
The brothel located right next to a bakery and tailor shop where the women are always on the lookout for men calling them obscene names and making said obscene gestures.
The hoard of hospitals/nursing homes/pharmacies for God knows what reason, I mean literally there must be like 10-12 nursing homes and 4 hospitals in a radius of 500 meters.
The hidden gem Momo stalls and awesome road side "Popular" biryani/haleem stalls.
The football matches/cricket matches and tournaments held during Independence day where everyone is Messi and all the players play for United or Chelsea or Barcelona when they register their teams name.
The random Kaku going berserk on the street because some "punk" kid is riding his bike at a crazy speed in a locality.
The random abuses thrown about in front of children not caring one bit about destroying the future because none of us ever had one.
Yes Kidderpore might not have the beauty of the city, nor will it have the "educated" culture that the city is known for, actually we do have a kick ass cultured educated side, Chintoo Lee and the others from STB [minority of toppers] would attest to that, this neighborhood still has an amazing charm and feel to it, would not swap it for anything.
Last but certainly not the least bit of Awesomeness comes from St Thomas Boys, KIDDERPORE.
The one and only.
Fortunately for me, I live in an area called Kidderpore/Ekbalpore which I used to think was just a noisy little neighborhood with randomness and the typical days of life just passing by. Never did I think this one area would actually serve a much larger purpose in life.
For close to 5 years I commuted to an area called Salt Lake for education, my graduation and post graduation courses were done in this area. Roaming about was a necessity as with most college students because no one in their graduation does ever go to class , rather bunks class to roam about freely and explore said world.
Now coming from the "city" of Kidderpore where there were constant fights in school, mad people running about and throwing stones in front of shops, violence on the streets, having our own version of the "bull run" during Eid [yeah ZNMD has nothing on what I have seen] and other random acts of awesomeness, Salt Lake seemed to pale in comparison. It was a ghost town, no matter what time you roam about in that area, barring the office zones, the rest of the place is dead.
I mean I have roamed around at 7 AM, barely 10 people on the street and a long stretch of land that was too, 5 PM same case, not one person can be seen in the balcony of the many houses that litter the street, not many people can be seen on the road. Compare that to Kidderpore, be it 7 AM or 7 PM, or 10 AM or 10 PM there are at least 20-30 people doing nothing but roaming about and having a jolly good time with their friends and all. In fact when I stay awake after a Champs League match , roughly 3 AM there are people on the street just sitting about, probably got kicked out of the house by their wife or they must have been tired from the constant nagging but the point is the place does not feel dead , its bustling with energy, be it in the crazy winters we get here now or the scorching hot summers, Kidderpore/Ekbalpore is the place to be for random madness on the street, people should be charged for sitting and watching the world go by in this area because its just that brilliant.
Cases of awesomeness,
Random fights on the street thanks to the drones of STB students around , every single freaking day with the fight never really taking place [most of the time] this was just a way to make new friends and "bhais" actually.
Crazy lady out near the shops with bricks in her hands chasing random people while the police are busy extorting money from the big trucks.
The traffic jam post 10 PM because of the huge 16 wheelers [not 18] taking the one route through Kidderpore to reach the dock.
At least 20-30 random people on the street 24/7
The amazing celebrations and dance during the puja,christmas, new year, diwali, holi etc etc etc all dancing to the tune of "It's my life" and "Saath Samundar Paar"
The randomness and awesomeness of having a china town like market in your own backyard and being to search for amazing deals and cut prices [Fancy Market]
The running of the bulls [cows] during Eid.
The chasing and beating up of a local goon if he ever is caught , when he tries to steal shoes/slippers from outside the Mosque/Temple.
The brothel located right next to a bakery and tailor shop where the women are always on the lookout for men calling them obscene names and making said obscene gestures.
The hoard of hospitals/nursing homes/pharmacies for God knows what reason, I mean literally there must be like 10-12 nursing homes and 4 hospitals in a radius of 500 meters.
The hidden gem Momo stalls and awesome road side "Popular" biryani/haleem stalls.
The football matches/cricket matches and tournaments held during Independence day where everyone is Messi and all the players play for United or Chelsea or Barcelona when they register their teams name.
The random Kaku going berserk on the street because some "punk" kid is riding his bike at a crazy speed in a locality.
The random abuses thrown about in front of children not caring one bit about destroying the future because none of us ever had one.
Yes Kidderpore might not have the beauty of the city, nor will it have the "educated" culture that the city is known for, actually we do have a kick ass cultured educated side, Chintoo Lee and the others from STB [minority of toppers] would attest to that, this neighborhood still has an amazing charm and feel to it, would not swap it for anything.
Last but certainly not the least bit of Awesomeness comes from St Thomas Boys, KIDDERPORE.
The one and only.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Drinking Buddies
Its time when boys turned into men , now that all of us are working we rarely get a chance to meet each other, the 4 of us , Chintoo, Nagu , Babla and me. Chintoo because he is far away in gujju land for some crazy yet almost right reason he stays in a place called Dahej [dowry] in hindi terms and he had come to Calcutta recently because of his sister's marriage [more on that later].
Babla because he is mostly busy due to his numerous shows spread across India, big superstar he is playing in his band and Nagu because he is an idiot and is always busy with excuses like "thesis" and his wannabe girlfriend whom he says does not like him but still is always with him sharing pads in another city and going around like crazy all the time.
So thanks to the Sista's marriage the 4 of us met up and while the wedding , as every wedding goes, needed a lot of work and we all were very busy with it, meeting relatives, rohit's set of mallu friends and of course Bhabhiji, when everything was done and pushed away the 4 of us had to go for a night out. This night out had to be curtailed since all of us had office or practice or a flight to catch or "thesis", so Babla comes up with the plan to go to Tangra, Calcutta's china town, great food, cheap booze and lots of food options.
We meet up after I got done with office and in our search for a cab we got into a pool car coz cuntish taxi drivers won't go to Tangra coz its too late, its freaking 7:30 PM, the night has just started and they start acting like douches. Well we in the pool car were no worse, screaming, hurling abuses at one another like the world wont end, one typical comment was that " I love xyz girl but you know I do stuff with other girls but I really REALLY love this girl", one bugger retorts "bhai, tu bol yeh kya pyaar hai? ", the third one says " Sorry man, I have never had such love that I love one girl but fuck about with 16 others, aisa pyaar mera kabhi hua nahin"
The drive was long but fun, abuses, shameless acts of indecency, the driver was petrified and was happy to drop us off at the doorstep of the restaurant/bar and drove off like he had his wife expecting a baby in the car.
Babla knew this place well, we could see that as the waiters were all happy seeing him, of course they would be, he is the size of a baby elephant, probably ate like one the last time he was here. The order was given and Babla said "You have to try the duck, its amazing", while the rest of em drank beer, vodka, whiskey etc etc etc, the 4th bugger who wont drink was me, now what to do? I decide time to troll around, I order a thumbs up, after downing half of that I get me a sprite, mix it and whay hay! it looks like a pint of beer,
"Quick take a picture of this, and wait for my family to go all retard on me"
While the prawn chips, wontons and fish dishes were being sent back and forth like a whore being shared by 4 cheap friends, the real star of the night was the duck, thank fuck I had duck, especially the Peking Duck, oh and while the rest of em got a little high from the alcohol, i got high from drinking a thumbs up, a coke, a fanta, a sprite and a 7 up, just missed out on the Limca, told the waiter
"Next time, I will have the rest as well, namely, the Limca, the soda and a bottle of water"
Now when people get drank they gotta do something crazy, Nagu and Babla are proper alcoholics, so after being "alcoholized" they didn't do anything cray, Chintoo on the other hand whips out his cell phone and like last time, calls his "girl" and spends like 30-40 mins just talking to her,when we leave we had to make sure Chintoo came back from the loo, we thought he would drop his cell in the toilet and start speaking to his wiener.
He comes back and we decide to take an auto to go back to Park Circus, while we get into an auto, the auto is stopped before it can move by a guy on a bike, seems the auto driver had bumped into the biker and now he wanted retribution.
While the auto driver maintained his innocence, after around 10 mins of to and fro and being let off, we could see the guilt on his face and his tone of voice, even though all 4 of us were high, the cool breeze and a trippy auto ride is all we needed.
After dropping babla off we set off to return to the lan of Khidderpore, getting off as Rohit and Nagu needed to walk a bit before they got the high out of em, the night was brilliant, no one knows when we may meet like this again and get high, this day we created a new set of names for one another.
"Drinking Buddies
Tipsy Wipsy : Babla
Pukey: Chintoo
Drunkard : Nagu
Musalman : Me, Duh!
Say "Hello"!
"Blaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuu"
Ooooh Pukey did a baaaaad thing"
Babla because he is mostly busy due to his numerous shows spread across India, big superstar he is playing in his band and Nagu because he is an idiot and is always busy with excuses like "thesis" and his wannabe girlfriend whom he says does not like him but still is always with him sharing pads in another city and going around like crazy all the time.
So thanks to the Sista's marriage the 4 of us met up and while the wedding , as every wedding goes, needed a lot of work and we all were very busy with it, meeting relatives, rohit's set of mallu friends and of course Bhabhiji, when everything was done and pushed away the 4 of us had to go for a night out. This night out had to be curtailed since all of us had office or practice or a flight to catch or "thesis", so Babla comes up with the plan to go to Tangra, Calcutta's china town, great food, cheap booze and lots of food options.
We meet up after I got done with office and in our search for a cab we got into a pool car coz cuntish taxi drivers won't go to Tangra coz its too late, its freaking 7:30 PM, the night has just started and they start acting like douches. Well we in the pool car were no worse, screaming, hurling abuses at one another like the world wont end, one typical comment was that " I love xyz girl but you know I do stuff with other girls but I really REALLY love this girl", one bugger retorts "bhai, tu bol yeh kya pyaar hai? ", the third one says " Sorry man, I have never had such love that I love one girl but fuck about with 16 others, aisa pyaar mera kabhi hua nahin"
The drive was long but fun, abuses, shameless acts of indecency, the driver was petrified and was happy to drop us off at the doorstep of the restaurant/bar and drove off like he had his wife expecting a baby in the car.
Babla knew this place well, we could see that as the waiters were all happy seeing him, of course they would be, he is the size of a baby elephant, probably ate like one the last time he was here. The order was given and Babla said "You have to try the duck, its amazing", while the rest of em drank beer, vodka, whiskey etc etc etc, the 4th bugger who wont drink was me, now what to do? I decide time to troll around, I order a thumbs up, after downing half of that I get me a sprite, mix it and whay hay! it looks like a pint of beer,
"Quick take a picture of this, and wait for my family to go all retard on me"
While the prawn chips, wontons and fish dishes were being sent back and forth like a whore being shared by 4 cheap friends, the real star of the night was the duck, thank fuck I had duck, especially the Peking Duck, oh and while the rest of em got a little high from the alcohol, i got high from drinking a thumbs up, a coke, a fanta, a sprite and a 7 up, just missed out on the Limca, told the waiter
"Next time, I will have the rest as well, namely, the Limca, the soda and a bottle of water"
Now when people get drank they gotta do something crazy, Nagu and Babla are proper alcoholics, so after being "alcoholized" they didn't do anything cray, Chintoo on the other hand whips out his cell phone and like last time, calls his "girl" and spends like 30-40 mins just talking to her,when we leave we had to make sure Chintoo came back from the loo, we thought he would drop his cell in the toilet and start speaking to his wiener.
He comes back and we decide to take an auto to go back to Park Circus, while we get into an auto, the auto is stopped before it can move by a guy on a bike, seems the auto driver had bumped into the biker and now he wanted retribution.
While the auto driver maintained his innocence, after around 10 mins of to and fro and being let off, we could see the guilt on his face and his tone of voice, even though all 4 of us were high, the cool breeze and a trippy auto ride is all we needed.
After dropping babla off we set off to return to the lan of Khidderpore, getting off as Rohit and Nagu needed to walk a bit before they got the high out of em, the night was brilliant, no one knows when we may meet like this again and get high, this day we created a new set of names for one another.
"Drinking Buddies
Tipsy Wipsy : Babla
Pukey: Chintoo
Drunkard : Nagu
Musalman : Me, Duh!
Say "Hello"!
"Blaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuu"
Ooooh Pukey did a baaaaad thing"
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Be a douche campaign
Hypocrisy has a limit, even the most illogical person is allowed to be a hypocrite and all but something really got my goose the other day, while I was watching a WWE RAW broadcast, they suddenly pop up with this promo, not of some old Wrestler coming back with a new gimmick or some mega super pay per view which will suck, they came out with this "Be a Star" campaign, where they are trying to weed out "bullying" from schools and how one in 3 students in America are bullied in some form, HHH and Steph McMahon were talking about supporting the campaign but that is nonsensical.
I mean the entire history of wrestling , at least the WWE era is about bullying and roughing people up for no reason at all. On a false pretext of acting like macho men and women fighting over petty causes like ex gfs, belts and who is stronger but they don't go and issue challenges most of the time, unlike "face/good" wrestlers who would go face a person properly, its the hell/bad guys who attack people from behind, come in groups of threes and try to take a person out. Recently Natalya and Beth Phoenix were on a tear, making bitches cry, literally, Eve Torres, Kelly Kelly were a couple of their victims. Where was the bully, sorry anti bully campaign there?
Highly hypocritical and I cannot believe how anyone could support the campaign.
Don't get me wrong here, I am not in favor of physical bullying, coz that is the sissies way out, but mental bullying is fantastic, makes you sharper and immune to the atrocious things that people say about you either behind your back or in your face.
STB made me a star, not because I am some super student who scored 99% in an exam, i got 98.55% in MAT but its not about that, it made me a immune to abuses that hurl about in the world. The way women look away disgusted when they hear an abuse, if they ever were in STG, they would know how to deal with shit like this. It is not like the world does not abuse you when you aren't in front of a person, hell I say we should invest in an abusive class for all students, teach em how to deal with abuses being hurled at you, you know start a new campaign as all this abuse and bullying will make you stronger no matter what.
So here is a fuck off you worthless cunt who should have been wasted in the bloody toilet rather than let to rot in a human's womb for 9 months to everyone.
Happy abusing/bullying
Don't be a star, BE A DOUCHE
I mean the entire history of wrestling , at least the WWE era is about bullying and roughing people up for no reason at all. On a false pretext of acting like macho men and women fighting over petty causes like ex gfs, belts and who is stronger but they don't go and issue challenges most of the time, unlike "face/good" wrestlers who would go face a person properly, its the hell/bad guys who attack people from behind, come in groups of threes and try to take a person out. Recently Natalya and Beth Phoenix were on a tear, making bitches cry, literally, Eve Torres, Kelly Kelly were a couple of their victims. Where was the bully, sorry anti bully campaign there?
Highly hypocritical and I cannot believe how anyone could support the campaign.
Don't get me wrong here, I am not in favor of physical bullying, coz that is the sissies way out, but mental bullying is fantastic, makes you sharper and immune to the atrocious things that people say about you either behind your back or in your face.
STB made me a star, not because I am some super student who scored 99% in an exam, i got 98.55% in MAT but its not about that, it made me a immune to abuses that hurl about in the world. The way women look away disgusted when they hear an abuse, if they ever were in STG, they would know how to deal with shit like this. It is not like the world does not abuse you when you aren't in front of a person, hell I say we should invest in an abusive class for all students, teach em how to deal with abuses being hurled at you, you know start a new campaign as all this abuse and bullying will make you stronger no matter what.
So here is a fuck off you worthless cunt who should have been wasted in the bloody toilet rather than let to rot in a human's womb for 9 months to everyone.
Happy abusing/bullying
Don't be a star, BE A DOUCHE
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
2011 more like 2007
My friends at UA (Underground Authority) have become proper celebrities in and around this state at least. People jump on them for pictures and autographs, try to have a chat with em and just have a blast at their shows.
So when Babla (bass player) came over to my place with Nagu, they told me that UA would be performing at my school, STB at their fest, Melange. There is always a sense of nostalgia whenever you hear about your school, especially the one which has created and given so many stories for you to lather on people, so it was not a tough decision to make, the batch of 2007 was going back to school in 2011.
In typical UA fashion, since they are big superstars, they wanted the best slot to play and were scheduled to play from 4 PM, while I was in college getting some work done, I was sure I was going to miss them perform at school, fortunately or typically they were late and the show was to start at a quarter to 7.
Running back home from college and then running to school, I met up with Nagu and we entered, before entering, I was asked "Pass? where is your pass?"
To which Nagu replied "Don't worry, he is a part of UA"
Rock and roll motherhumpers!
I met up with Babla on stage, he was preparing for the shit which would make the STB guys believers. All this was fine, after all I did go to see my friends play, however we must not forget its STB and where there is STB there is bound to be madness and babali.
So the first thing I see, apart from our glorious buildings and that massive field of ours, was gold hair, yes , Gold fucking colored hair , guys had bleached their hair, put on sun glasses when it was 7 in the evening and it was pitch black. Somethings just wont change, as soon as we enter we hear the patented abuses about mothers fathers and all. The new thing which I saw was the presence of a lot of cars and those cars weren't of the people performing but rather of the boys out here to impress the chicks with their money, guys wearing white suits also littered the place. Financial meltdown? fuck no.
Lets not forget to mention the sound people, now I was one of the few privileged people to stand on a platform with the sound console and all, so there were pros manning the sound , making the acoustics and reverb and all that shit work well, we had this guy with his laptop recording the entire show and then we had the guy on lights. Now this guy was a pro I believe but he was from school, so it was quite freaky to see him play around on the lights console thinking he is Dj Tiesto or that chinese bloke form Linkin Park who would play with the samplers. I take a closer look and that fag is moving about like he is on fire and is playing the gig of his life, he had this assistant also acting like this guy was actually doing some shit but all he was doing was headbanging and moving his fingers on switches which he was not moving or touching. Impress the maagis? He tries.
Then the show starts and the crowd are rapturous, the guys are belting out their hindi numbers since we must remember STB don't do english, hindi is what they know and are receptive to. So receptive that a guy jumps on stage and dances his arse off only for one of the UA staff to push him off stage, while the song is on, then starts the madness
"Bhai ko dhakka kyu maara?" and this group of students are now ganging up on the bloke who tried to make sure nothing bad happened, song had to be stopped the people had to be separated by the members of the band, see, you can't change STB, no matter how many changes you make to the principal or how you govern it. Made me feel so warm inside, nothing has changed.
The last few minutes were us walking around the many corridors and classrooms we frequented so many times, it was seriously a brilliant moment, no teachers, just 5 guys walking around the classrooms , buildings and running about like mad people on the field.
For 2 hours at least I was not a person who is supposed to start working for a firm in a few months, rather it felt like I had started my schooling life all over again only that it began in STB and I was with my best friends, not being gay , just wish those days lasted a bit more, college life has nothing on school life.
STB all the way.
So when Babla (bass player) came over to my place with Nagu, they told me that UA would be performing at my school, STB at their fest, Melange. There is always a sense of nostalgia whenever you hear about your school, especially the one which has created and given so many stories for you to lather on people, so it was not a tough decision to make, the batch of 2007 was going back to school in 2011.
In typical UA fashion, since they are big superstars, they wanted the best slot to play and were scheduled to play from 4 PM, while I was in college getting some work done, I was sure I was going to miss them perform at school, fortunately or typically they were late and the show was to start at a quarter to 7.
Running back home from college and then running to school, I met up with Nagu and we entered, before entering, I was asked "Pass? where is your pass?"
To which Nagu replied "Don't worry, he is a part of UA"
Rock and roll motherhumpers!
I met up with Babla on stage, he was preparing for the shit which would make the STB guys believers. All this was fine, after all I did go to see my friends play, however we must not forget its STB and where there is STB there is bound to be madness and babali.
So the first thing I see, apart from our glorious buildings and that massive field of ours, was gold hair, yes , Gold fucking colored hair , guys had bleached their hair, put on sun glasses when it was 7 in the evening and it was pitch black. Somethings just wont change, as soon as we enter we hear the patented abuses about mothers fathers and all. The new thing which I saw was the presence of a lot of cars and those cars weren't of the people performing but rather of the boys out here to impress the chicks with their money, guys wearing white suits also littered the place. Financial meltdown? fuck no.
Lets not forget to mention the sound people, now I was one of the few privileged people to stand on a platform with the sound console and all, so there were pros manning the sound , making the acoustics and reverb and all that shit work well, we had this guy with his laptop recording the entire show and then we had the guy on lights. Now this guy was a pro I believe but he was from school, so it was quite freaky to see him play around on the lights console thinking he is Dj Tiesto or that chinese bloke form Linkin Park who would play with the samplers. I take a closer look and that fag is moving about like he is on fire and is playing the gig of his life, he had this assistant also acting like this guy was actually doing some shit but all he was doing was headbanging and moving his fingers on switches which he was not moving or touching. Impress the maagis? He tries.
Then the show starts and the crowd are rapturous, the guys are belting out their hindi numbers since we must remember STB don't do english, hindi is what they know and are receptive to. So receptive that a guy jumps on stage and dances his arse off only for one of the UA staff to push him off stage, while the song is on, then starts the madness
"Bhai ko dhakka kyu maara?" and this group of students are now ganging up on the bloke who tried to make sure nothing bad happened, song had to be stopped the people had to be separated by the members of the band, see, you can't change STB, no matter how many changes you make to the principal or how you govern it. Made me feel so warm inside, nothing has changed.
The last few minutes were us walking around the many corridors and classrooms we frequented so many times, it was seriously a brilliant moment, no teachers, just 5 guys walking around the classrooms , buildings and running about like mad people on the field.
For 2 hours at least I was not a person who is supposed to start working for a firm in a few months, rather it felt like I had started my schooling life all over again only that it began in STB and I was with my best friends, not being gay , just wish those days lasted a bit more, college life has nothing on school life.
STB all the way.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
The progressive regressive complex
I really could have labelled this post as a lot of other sick sad titles but I chose to go the safe route, confusing yet true.
What this topic is about is pedophilia, don't run away this is a big topic so remember the days when i blogged about a certain Nigel Mitra, ex teacher from my school?
Well he is back!
The puja in our complex has a lot of artists performing, Abhijit Sawant was one and on the final day we get another artist to perform. Today when I was having lunch at home , my mom comes and tells me "You know who is performing today?"
I don't really care and ask "who?"
Mom replies "An old STB teacher, Nigel Mitra"
I almost choke my food and had to gulp down half a bottle of water to put the food down.
"Mitra? Nigel Mitra?"
My parents are shocked as to why I was going about his name so much, my face is a mixture of anger and utter shock.
Mom goes " Haha someone was saying he was a child molester, what crap."
My expression does not change and I tell her "Ma, he did , he actually did".
While I see the function going on I get this cold feeling within me, I must let you know, I never actually had to study under said person, no pun intended but my friends knew what kinda sick show he is and probably was.
He is a good musician though and for some sick reason he has been playing this concert of sorts for now 4 hours straight, that's right, 4 hours of watching a sick pedo freak play songs on and on and on.
I try had to think as to why the hell is he playing for so long?
Then I take a peek from my window and I get the answer. Answers actually,aged between 6-12 years, kids are seated right in front of him and he is playing his ass off, sick freak.
The sad part is everyone in the complex knows about this yet no one objects to this, give him another chance? He is human after all?
This is just to show how much we have progressed as a community and society, no more shall we degrade and look down upon people who have been kicked out of their jobs because of pedophila, Oh no, we, Indians, Bongs will make sure that these people come to our flagship celebrations [ for this complex at least] and have a fucking blast and play their hearts content , in this case will play their hearts content and then have a good wank at night after watching the children "enjoy" his music.
We really have progressed to regress and become chaman chutias, all my friends from school would have ripped this "thing" to pieces and then burnt his remains and pissed on the ashes but here we are giving him a stage to perform, absolutely sick and pathetic this is.
So many puns were there , The Curious case of Nigel Mitra
Sweet creams old man
Old is certainly bold.
What a sad state of affairs this complex is. Pathetic
What this topic is about is pedophilia, don't run away this is a big topic so remember the days when i blogged about a certain Nigel Mitra, ex teacher from my school?
Well he is back!
The puja in our complex has a lot of artists performing, Abhijit Sawant was one and on the final day we get another artist to perform. Today when I was having lunch at home , my mom comes and tells me "You know who is performing today?"
I don't really care and ask "who?"
Mom replies "An old STB teacher, Nigel Mitra"
I almost choke my food and had to gulp down half a bottle of water to put the food down.
"Mitra? Nigel Mitra?"
My parents are shocked as to why I was going about his name so much, my face is a mixture of anger and utter shock.
Mom goes " Haha someone was saying he was a child molester, what crap."
My expression does not change and I tell her "Ma, he did , he actually did".
While I see the function going on I get this cold feeling within me, I must let you know, I never actually had to study under said person, no pun intended but my friends knew what kinda sick show he is and probably was.
He is a good musician though and for some sick reason he has been playing this concert of sorts for now 4 hours straight, that's right, 4 hours of watching a sick pedo freak play songs on and on and on.
I try had to think as to why the hell is he playing for so long?
Then I take a peek from my window and I get the answer. Answers actually,aged between 6-12 years, kids are seated right in front of him and he is playing his ass off, sick freak.
The sad part is everyone in the complex knows about this yet no one objects to this, give him another chance? He is human after all?
This is just to show how much we have progressed as a community and society, no more shall we degrade and look down upon people who have been kicked out of their jobs because of pedophila, Oh no, we, Indians, Bongs will make sure that these people come to our flagship celebrations [ for this complex at least] and have a fucking blast and play their hearts content , in this case will play their hearts content and then have a good wank at night after watching the children "enjoy" his music.
We really have progressed to regress and become chaman chutias, all my friends from school would have ripped this "thing" to pieces and then burnt his remains and pissed on the ashes but here we are giving him a stage to perform, absolutely sick and pathetic this is.
So many puns were there , The Curious case of Nigel Mitra
Sweet creams old man
Old is certainly bold.
What a sad state of affairs this complex is. Pathetic
Monday, August 15, 2011
The Others Part 1
Most of us remember getting bit by the "LOST" bug, yeah that oh so awesome ABC show about this plane crashing on some freaky island which had a smoke monster, time travel, a golden cave, dead people coming alive and a lot of other confusing issues but around 2 seasons into LOST , apart from the protagonists came a new set of people who although were not part of the original cast and whose stories were not highlighted as much, they did have a huge part to play in the entire series, THE OTHERS.
While school was filled with random madness by people in my group or something happened to em which was bloggable , there were a lot of other people blog worthy , who were on the periphery of our small circle of friends. STB was filled with roughly 300 freaks worth blogging about, I will try to keep it as minimal as possible.
The Ganguly.
Yes, that is a very common surname for a bengali but I am not talking about every bengali whose name is Ganguly but about a really special lad from my school. Abhishek Ganguly, most of my classmates will remember him quite well, tall, lanky fellow, who seemed to have a speech impairment only because his mouth was full of gutka or pan masala.
The guy slept through most classes ,teachers were of the belief that he was taking drugs and hence could not concentrate in class, they guy was a little off for sure, always picking on the people who no one cared about, this new kid had come in class 11 and Ganguly always picked on him but he was about to be put into place.
Math class was never fun, with a south indian mallu teacher who was super strict and was always solving sums in his mind and making freaky math gestures with his fingers ala beautiful mind I think, not sure, still Ganguly was sitting behind Guha [rest in peace] and while class was going on and everyone was busy doing sums, we hear this massive bang coming from the other side of the class.
We all turn to face that side and see the macho man Ganguly holding his face , Guha is freaking enraged, while our mallu math sir tries to understand what has happened he decides to try and rebuke Guha because he was the slapper and Ganguly was the slappie .
"Wat Hhappened Bhoys? Gu..Gu..Guha , wat did yu du men?"
While most of us would have apologized to a teacher and moved on , he says
"Sir Abhishek was kicking me from behind and that's why I slapped him"
Guha, was this huge fellow, always body building and was nearly 6 feet 5 inches, passed away in somewhat suspicious circumstances.
Ganguly not to be outdone retorts back
"Saar, aanui jaauu, hei , saaar, mumble jumble and all"
Sir has no idea of what to do and ends up having a discussion with the two guys after class. Ganguly for all his machoness was the opposite actually, I know I am a proper mother's boy but this guy would take the cake, even though we were in class 12 his mother would follow him around to all his tutions , no matter how far they were or how many he had in a day his mom was everywhere with him, almost every teacher complained about him dozing off or him taking some drugs or something but nothing fazed him or his mother.
As Ganguly projected himself to be a bully he tried hanging around with a few of em and everyone knows there is the one person who gets picked on always in a group and in the group of bullies it was Ganguly, while he was busy threatening the one person who would say he is an "East Bengal" supporter in our class, as soon as Ganguly would shout something in his un-understandable tone the bloke reverted to
"arrey bhai, Arsenal, Arsenal".
I saw a proper glimpse of how much he was accepted into the bully community, while we were coming back from a tution where his mother was not there with him. We were driving through an alley in my car, while Ganguly was chewing something at the back "relaxing" himself from a hard days tution, he suddenly pops up saying
"Oi, Aadeem[bengali like] ota Laal"
Sandeep Lal, one of the toughest s.o.b's ever to pass out from school, Ganguly seemed so excited seeing him, he popped his head out while we were reaching Laal and starting calling his name out in his weird accent.
I didn't want to get involved in all this so I did not look at their bonding of sorts, then I hear a thud, I look around and see Laal is laughing his ass off while Ganguly is holding his eye , the car is moving all the time, Ganguly got hit again by another person this time and while Ganguly pops his head out shouting expletives to Lal, even my driver for once could not resist a chuckle and spent the rest of the time trying to hide his massive grin everytime Ganguly tried to strike up a conversation.
This just shows that Ganguly was not the mean bully everyone thought he was, quite inconsiderate as well, we had a computer sir who was specially abled, that is the correct term to be used now, so while we were talking about what to expect during the exams and when Sir was about to come to class, Ganguly pops up saying
"Dhoot baara , he will take time to come, saala Lengra"
We, well Chintoo and a few others found it a little offensive to Sir, Ganguly's reasoning
"Langra ko langra nahin bolega toh kya bolega"
Yes, true that, The Aura of the bully went kaput by the end of the ISC year , the one person who he targeted for 2 years also opened a community [ like in orkut] just for abusing Ganguly and the likes, so much for the Bully staying the bully, he actually got owned by the guy who was targeted by every student in our class calling him
"Tumhara baap tujhe saree pehnakar kya karta hai"
every day he was asked that and his only response ever was
"wohi jo tumhara baap karta hai"
This went on everyday for 2 years, credit went to Adil for continuing it, the good old days.
While school was filled with random madness by people in my group or something happened to em which was bloggable , there were a lot of other people blog worthy , who were on the periphery of our small circle of friends. STB was filled with roughly 300 freaks worth blogging about, I will try to keep it as minimal as possible.
The Ganguly.
Yes, that is a very common surname for a bengali but I am not talking about every bengali whose name is Ganguly but about a really special lad from my school. Abhishek Ganguly, most of my classmates will remember him quite well, tall, lanky fellow, who seemed to have a speech impairment only because his mouth was full of gutka or pan masala.
The guy slept through most classes ,teachers were of the belief that he was taking drugs and hence could not concentrate in class, they guy was a little off for sure, always picking on the people who no one cared about, this new kid had come in class 11 and Ganguly always picked on him but he was about to be put into place.
Math class was never fun, with a south indian mallu teacher who was super strict and was always solving sums in his mind and making freaky math gestures with his fingers ala beautiful mind I think, not sure, still Ganguly was sitting behind Guha [rest in peace] and while class was going on and everyone was busy doing sums, we hear this massive bang coming from the other side of the class.
We all turn to face that side and see the macho man Ganguly holding his face , Guha is freaking enraged, while our mallu math sir tries to understand what has happened he decides to try and rebuke Guha because he was the slapper and Ganguly was the slappie .
"Wat Hhappened Bhoys? Gu..Gu..Guha , wat did yu du men?"
While most of us would have apologized to a teacher and moved on , he says
"Sir Abhishek was kicking me from behind and that's why I slapped him"
Guha, was this huge fellow, always body building and was nearly 6 feet 5 inches, passed away in somewhat suspicious circumstances.
Ganguly not to be outdone retorts back
"Saar, aanui jaauu, hei , saaar, mumble jumble and all"
Sir has no idea of what to do and ends up having a discussion with the two guys after class. Ganguly for all his machoness was the opposite actually, I know I am a proper mother's boy but this guy would take the cake, even though we were in class 12 his mother would follow him around to all his tutions , no matter how far they were or how many he had in a day his mom was everywhere with him, almost every teacher complained about him dozing off or him taking some drugs or something but nothing fazed him or his mother.
As Ganguly projected himself to be a bully he tried hanging around with a few of em and everyone knows there is the one person who gets picked on always in a group and in the group of bullies it was Ganguly, while he was busy threatening the one person who would say he is an "East Bengal" supporter in our class, as soon as Ganguly would shout something in his un-understandable tone the bloke reverted to
"arrey bhai, Arsenal, Arsenal".
I saw a proper glimpse of how much he was accepted into the bully community, while we were coming back from a tution where his mother was not there with him. We were driving through an alley in my car, while Ganguly was chewing something at the back "relaxing" himself from a hard days tution, he suddenly pops up saying
"Oi, Aadeem[bengali like] ota Laal"
Sandeep Lal, one of the toughest s.o.b's ever to pass out from school, Ganguly seemed so excited seeing him, he popped his head out while we were reaching Laal and starting calling his name out in his weird accent.
I didn't want to get involved in all this so I did not look at their bonding of sorts, then I hear a thud, I look around and see Laal is laughing his ass off while Ganguly is holding his eye , the car is moving all the time, Ganguly got hit again by another person this time and while Ganguly pops his head out shouting expletives to Lal, even my driver for once could not resist a chuckle and spent the rest of the time trying to hide his massive grin everytime Ganguly tried to strike up a conversation.
This just shows that Ganguly was not the mean bully everyone thought he was, quite inconsiderate as well, we had a computer sir who was specially abled, that is the correct term to be used now, so while we were talking about what to expect during the exams and when Sir was about to come to class, Ganguly pops up saying
"Dhoot baara , he will take time to come, saala Lengra"
We, well Chintoo and a few others found it a little offensive to Sir, Ganguly's reasoning
"Langra ko langra nahin bolega toh kya bolega"
Yes, true that, The Aura of the bully went kaput by the end of the ISC year , the one person who he targeted for 2 years also opened a community [ like in orkut] just for abusing Ganguly and the likes, so much for the Bully staying the bully, he actually got owned by the guy who was targeted by every student in our class calling him
"Tumhara baap tujhe saree pehnakar kya karta hai"
every day he was asked that and his only response ever was
"wohi jo tumhara baap karta hai"
This went on everyday for 2 years, credit went to Adil for continuing it, the good old days.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Art Attack
I was very fortunate back in 1999, when my parents decided to go on a trip to Europe, London and Paris were the destinations, while I loved Disneyland Paris, my father was adamant that while we were there we had to go and see one of the greatest art museums every, The Lourve.
All I remember form the place is that beautiful glass ceiling , the Monalisa and getting to see the female form, aka boobies on the Venus Di Milo,I was freaking 10 years old, cut me some slack, but back to the point, art is something that everyone can relate to but they never have the same opinion about it, everything means something totally different to another person.
My first Art class was in Dubai, quite a simple task it was too, painting the Indian flag in all its glory, this was probably in class 1, making a simple flag, drawing the chakra and filling it with color, simple enough, my flag was stiff[ no sexual puns here] some were waving around [wavin flags] and all.
Over time as we grew we found out that some were good at drawing art, there was this guy in my class Nahim, made some amazing comics in his time, while there were other freaks in my class Roshan [ who had come from Hong Kong and had told our class 5 teacher not to "touch" him aka hitting the bugger in class] who was a brilliant artist and would be allowed to do anything in class and would always get an A. Hell the guy was once messing about drawing SRGay form Mohabbatein and the art sir gave him an A++, pissed me off that did, I always believed in conspiracies then as well and told a pal of mine, "He only got the A++ coz SRgay's glasses were the same as Sir's"
Now the Sir we had in Dubai was a class act, Dilip Kumar was his name, I am not kidding, and yes stuff like this does happen to me, he had this retard dress sense often coming in sharp colors, like reds and yellows with retarded ties and well a retarded hairstyle as well, plus em tinted glasses, the first time I had seen something like that.
Comical may that be, he had one massively annoying habit, he would say "ok" a crazy number of times , his vocab was fine, it was just that a sentence of say 10 words had like 5 "ok"s in it. In fact once in class me and a pal Sumit, decided to count the number of "ok"s he would say, while we were counting in that 30 minute period, Sumit got caught and was rebuked by Sir, I was lucky to get away, official count give or take 10 was 300 Ok's in 30 minutes, congratulations a new world record.
In class 5 or 6 , he wanted to teach us "abstract art", which meant no more smooth lines but rather more graphic designs of simple objects, we were asked to draw and apple and Sumit managed to make an apple look like an ass.
Moving forward a few years and ending up in Calcutta, I was not blessed with an art class but rather an SUPW class, I still have no idea what it means. The class was basically an arts and crafts class mixed with a bit of sports, yes for 4 classes we had to write down the rules and regulations of cricket, basketball and football. It was a waste of time in a school where most of the students did not give a fuck to studying, rather they would have been interested in beating their class mate during that period.
While some days we had this hard ass Sports Sir to deal with , during the latter years we had to deal with Pinky, no not a lady but a guy teacher who had the balls the size of soy beans, the unruly bastards in class would do what they want, abuse him, make fun of him and by abuse I mean abuse the parents or a proper STB gaali. This same bugger was also chosen as the umpire in games which Chintoo lee played, the inter house cricket tournament where the bugger would change his decision based on which gunda was threatening him. Also his day job was that of being a traffic job, I mean how the fuck could he ever hold a post of authority?
He could not deal with students, let alone the pissed off drivers of Calcutta.
All I learned in this class ws how to make some stupid stick puppet and sock puppet, while the douche stole all the things we had made for our ICSE exams, yes we had to submit a "project" for the ICSE exams and then later we found out, nearly 6 months later that our "things" were being sold in the school fete.
While I never became an art lover or understood art, be it modern or classical, the only 2 things which seem relevant to me in art are
1:The Monalisa , seems everyone wanks about it, even if it could be Leonardo in drag
2:Nudity, if your art does not make sense or stand out, just paint or sculpt some nudity, always works and people call me a perv.
All I remember form the place is that beautiful glass ceiling , the Monalisa and getting to see the female form, aka boobies on the Venus Di Milo,I was freaking 10 years old, cut me some slack, but back to the point, art is something that everyone can relate to but they never have the same opinion about it, everything means something totally different to another person.
My first Art class was in Dubai, quite a simple task it was too, painting the Indian flag in all its glory, this was probably in class 1, making a simple flag, drawing the chakra and filling it with color, simple enough, my flag was stiff[ no sexual puns here] some were waving around [wavin flags] and all.
Over time as we grew we found out that some were good at drawing art, there was this guy in my class Nahim, made some amazing comics in his time, while there were other freaks in my class Roshan [ who had come from Hong Kong and had told our class 5 teacher not to "touch" him aka hitting the bugger in class] who was a brilliant artist and would be allowed to do anything in class and would always get an A. Hell the guy was once messing about drawing SRGay form Mohabbatein and the art sir gave him an A++, pissed me off that did, I always believed in conspiracies then as well and told a pal of mine, "He only got the A++ coz SRgay's glasses were the same as Sir's"
Now the Sir we had in Dubai was a class act, Dilip Kumar was his name, I am not kidding, and yes stuff like this does happen to me, he had this retard dress sense often coming in sharp colors, like reds and yellows with retarded ties and well a retarded hairstyle as well, plus em tinted glasses, the first time I had seen something like that.
Comical may that be, he had one massively annoying habit, he would say "ok" a crazy number of times , his vocab was fine, it was just that a sentence of say 10 words had like 5 "ok"s in it. In fact once in class me and a pal Sumit, decided to count the number of "ok"s he would say, while we were counting in that 30 minute period, Sumit got caught and was rebuked by Sir, I was lucky to get away, official count give or take 10 was 300 Ok's in 30 minutes, congratulations a new world record.
In class 5 or 6 , he wanted to teach us "abstract art", which meant no more smooth lines but rather more graphic designs of simple objects, we were asked to draw and apple and Sumit managed to make an apple look like an ass.
Moving forward a few years and ending up in Calcutta, I was not blessed with an art class but rather an SUPW class, I still have no idea what it means. The class was basically an arts and crafts class mixed with a bit of sports, yes for 4 classes we had to write down the rules and regulations of cricket, basketball and football. It was a waste of time in a school where most of the students did not give a fuck to studying, rather they would have been interested in beating their class mate during that period.
While some days we had this hard ass Sports Sir to deal with , during the latter years we had to deal with Pinky, no not a lady but a guy teacher who had the balls the size of soy beans, the unruly bastards in class would do what they want, abuse him, make fun of him and by abuse I mean abuse the parents or a proper STB gaali. This same bugger was also chosen as the umpire in games which Chintoo lee played, the inter house cricket tournament where the bugger would change his decision based on which gunda was threatening him. Also his day job was that of being a traffic job, I mean how the fuck could he ever hold a post of authority?
He could not deal with students, let alone the pissed off drivers of Calcutta.
All I learned in this class ws how to make some stupid stick puppet and sock puppet, while the douche stole all the things we had made for our ICSE exams, yes we had to submit a "project" for the ICSE exams and then later we found out, nearly 6 months later that our "things" were being sold in the school fete.
While I never became an art lover or understood art, be it modern or classical, the only 2 things which seem relevant to me in art are
1:The Monalisa , seems everyone wanks about it, even if it could be Leonardo in drag
2:Nudity, if your art does not make sense or stand out, just paint or sculpt some nudity, always works and people call me a perv.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
The nearly perfect chick
While most of you will think this blog is about some girl who I fell for recently or in the past, I can happily say, that is not the case, the blog is about a case that took place while we were in class 12 at STB, again the best school in the world, at least in terms of crazy retarded stories to tell.
It starts off with us finding the glory of social networking, Orkut was bloody popular in India back then and well, it was a taboo if we were not on the site, so I, along with a ton of my pals all opened accounts. Now we must also confess that the reason we actually made the accounts was to do maagibaazi, as Bonbon's 6th law states "
It starts off with us finding the glory of social networking, Orkut was bloody popular in India back then and well, it was a taboo if we were not on the site, so I, along with a ton of my pals all opened accounts. Now we must also confess that the reason we actually made the accounts was to do maagibaazi, as Bonbon's 6th law states "
6th Law:Every boy and i mean every boy goes through a maagibaazi phase,no matter how many times they deny it,
the effect of this phase leads to either the said boy becoming a real maaga and a maagibaaz OR he becomes anti maagibaazi."
So we were also part of this, not defying the law, all of us were in a mad search to add women randomly, yours truly was also a part of the madness. While we had a chuckle and right old go at one another for being the sick perverts that we are, one of the brighter nerdier minds of our school got an idea.
Chintoo Lee said "Dude, we should mess around with babla"
Me: How?
Chintoo Lee :How about making a fake profile of a chick and adding babla and you know freaking him out.
Thus the idea was set and , I made the profile, since I had no idea about chick schools or about calcutta at all, I kept as many details as i could vague, while I did add my real profile and babla's and Akshay Hiramanek Kapoor's as well, just in hope that they don't think its a fake one.
The name chosen was "Antara Haldar", not because it was a super duper hot name, just cause its the first thing that came to my mind, plus those days were when we could actually log into 2 accounts simultaneously on orkut and hence I would be chatting with babla and the freak would be chatting in a parallel world with Antara Haldar.
Now it just wasn't enough for us to have a little fun, when we do things we do it BIG, so while chintoo filled me in with random places and schools the chick could study in, I also decided to add a little flavor into the prank by making Antara, THE PERFECT CHICK for Babla.
While the babla was in hope of finding a chick, he got the perfect chick for him instead, the chick loved 80's rock, the same as he did, she wore only black, like he did, watched the same shows like he did even wanted to be goth and was about to get a "piercing" in a certain region which got him mad and crazy for "her" , all this was communicated over orkut. This did not go down without an entrance a shot at love from Kaps, Kapoor, who in his own right was on a streak on hitting the same piece of fine meat that Babla was, in fact during recess they even had a good old argument about who should get Antara, with babla finally winning by using a ton of abuses on Kaps.
A meeting was due for Babla with the chick, he had been talking about her on a regular basis in school, even when we would tell him the profile may not be real, he would abuse us and tell us that we were just jealous, while we contemplated on stopping the prank at a stage, his constant rambling got us motivated to continue the joke.
The prank was supposed to last for like a week or two, but now it went on for around 3 months, by now every student in class 12 knew about the prank but no one was spilling the beans out and trying not to smirk when babla was talking all about her being the chick for him was hard.
We even gave babla a fake number to call, when I was at his place, I picked up The phonebook and recorded the number for Antara Construction, so when and If he did call and say "antara" at least someone would respond and say "yes", but that part never came.
Babla , I , Chintoo and a few others were part of the school band and the biggest school band event "Vibes" was to take place, so this was the place where the date was set, destiny would be babla's as he was to finally meet his love. The bloke was all charged up as I had told him, "After your performance , I would meet you under the stairs", the fuck tard was so sure of pussy that he was ready for a bang as well, as he told us while we were travelling in a taxi in bong.
"Today I will fuck man for sure"
we replied "Chutia, condom laya??"
he said ,"Fuck the condom , I will use my hanky then"
The competition started and we were the 2nd last band, while we normally would get nervous before going on stage, babla was more nervous after the performance, we came second by the way out of around 12 bands or something, so while I went hiding under the stairs, chintoo and a few others went to babla and told him, dude this chick called for you and is under the stairs.
Babla comes running, as he comes from the light into the darkness of the shadow, he sees not a hot chick, but an obnoxious fat bloke laughing hard, the smile from babla's face is wiped off and he runs off, followed by around 10 other STB students and mates all laughing at his face, the laughter continued on our long ride back home and continued for a few months in calcutta, the outcome of this was babla became an even closer pal of mine.
Credit must be given to him, he did take it as a good sport and well credit must also be given to Chintoo lee massively for coming up with the plan and also to the few hundred STB guys from class 12 who kept such a kick ass secret for almost 3 months.
The perfect chick, almost, well not even close, it was freaking far away, and if you guys want proof of all this, you need to check out the last pages of my scrap book, some of those freaky messages from babla and kaps are still there.
Monday, May 2, 2011
The Theory of Relativity
Almost 18 years ago , a certain Saiyed Adeem Karim started attending pre school, which was fun as the said lad had nothing much to do in school. Waste time away, play with a ton of toys, a little introduction of alphabets and numbers, nothing too strenuous.
School was not all that bad back then, it was fun , easy and most importantly fun, I know i put "fun" in twice, I can't remember what happened a few weeks ago let alone something that was almost 2 decades ago. The fact is that school was fun.
Then started the crap and oh dear lord how I started hating school, the homework , the heavy bag, the screwing me over with the timings, in Calcutta, school was from 7:30 AM till 1 PM, but in Dubai it was from 12:30 PM to 6:30 PM,my initial reaction was that of astonishment and resent as to how I would come back home on a regular basis after my dad and after the friggin sun sets.
Resentment, then came school in Calcutta , AGAIN, this time it was St Thomas Boys , most of the regular readers would know how much I was tormented and tortured during the initial years at STB and how I broke down into tears for the only time in my life due to some emotional crap that was thrown at me,when I was in STB , how much I missed the school in Dubai,Our Own English High School was heaven, literally and STB was hell, passing out of STB though was fun, I wont lie , STB taught me a lot and gave me my best friends, and of course taught me how to abuse ,kidderpore style.
Then came Techno India, college life promised so much and I ended up with almost 5% of what was promised, hot chicks? Nope, Cool Classes, BCA? WTF was I thinking?, Bunking? and go where? everything near college was miles away,Great Like minded FRIENDS?, just one, again I thank lord i found one of my best pals in this college as well,and now damn I missed STB and I still do , a lot, the only good thing to come out from the 3 years was Subhajit, one of my best pals and then the fact that I barely went to college in the 3rd year.
The came Globsyn, again I thank the lord I found my long lost brother here and a few brilliant friends, but again the whole MBA college being fun was a ton of crap and as usual I would have gone back to Techno India in a jiffy.
Now its summer internship time, first job of my life, and as usual the expectations don't match up to reality, work is hard, maybe because we are interns for like 2 months max but man work is hard, its barely enjoyable , although that could be because of the fact that I don't like working for real estate but still these 2 months are gonna be torturous there still is hope though as IF and a big IF I do go to an office or a job that I do like maybe life will be better and again as the topic says, life was better in the classrooms of GBS , the fun,madness and masti is totally missed.
Life often is portrayed in a different way and what we get is completely different , I always hated whatever institute I was in but as soon as I moved away from one place to another, the former place was always better than the latter, hence the theory of relativity proved!
Pre School > Primary School >STB >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> College life >College MBA life > Work?
Of course one thing I would like to point out,if I had a choice to go back to any of these phases,lets leave work out for the future, STB would be the one stage I would pick,that madness can and never will be repeated
STB STB!!
Jeet ke aaoge!
School was not all that bad back then, it was fun , easy and most importantly fun, I know i put "fun" in twice, I can't remember what happened a few weeks ago let alone something that was almost 2 decades ago. The fact is that school was fun.
Then started the crap and oh dear lord how I started hating school, the homework , the heavy bag, the screwing me over with the timings, in Calcutta, school was from 7:30 AM till 1 PM, but in Dubai it was from 12:30 PM to 6:30 PM,my initial reaction was that of astonishment and resent as to how I would come back home on a regular basis after my dad and after the friggin sun sets.
Resentment, then came school in Calcutta , AGAIN, this time it was St Thomas Boys , most of the regular readers would know how much I was tormented and tortured during the initial years at STB and how I broke down into tears for the only time in my life due to some emotional crap that was thrown at me,when I was in STB , how much I missed the school in Dubai,Our Own English High School was heaven, literally and STB was hell, passing out of STB though was fun, I wont lie , STB taught me a lot and gave me my best friends, and of course taught me how to abuse ,kidderpore style.
Then came Techno India, college life promised so much and I ended up with almost 5% of what was promised, hot chicks? Nope, Cool Classes, BCA? WTF was I thinking?, Bunking? and go where? everything near college was miles away,Great Like minded FRIENDS?, just one, again I thank lord i found one of my best pals in this college as well,and now damn I missed STB and I still do , a lot, the only good thing to come out from the 3 years was Subhajit, one of my best pals and then the fact that I barely went to college in the 3rd year.
The came Globsyn, again I thank the lord I found my long lost brother here and a few brilliant friends, but again the whole MBA college being fun was a ton of crap and as usual I would have gone back to Techno India in a jiffy.
Now its summer internship time, first job of my life, and as usual the expectations don't match up to reality, work is hard, maybe because we are interns for like 2 months max but man work is hard, its barely enjoyable , although that could be because of the fact that I don't like working for real estate but still these 2 months are gonna be torturous there still is hope though as IF and a big IF I do go to an office or a job that I do like maybe life will be better and again as the topic says, life was better in the classrooms of GBS , the fun,madness and masti is totally missed.
Life often is portrayed in a different way and what we get is completely different , I always hated whatever institute I was in but as soon as I moved away from one place to another, the former place was always better than the latter, hence the theory of relativity proved!
Pre School > Primary School >STB >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> College life >College MBA life > Work?
Of course one thing I would like to point out,if I had a choice to go back to any of these phases,lets leave work out for the future, STB would be the one stage I would pick,that madness can and never will be repeated
STB STB!!
Jeet ke aaoge!
Friday, April 15, 2011
Like Love Lost Lust Lunacy
This all started quite a few years back, most of my friends already know the kind of pervert I am, a massive one at that, with porn being stuffed into my head from class 7 it always was a deep dark road that I would follow and it was never going to be pretty for anyone in the way.
Falling for a russian chick in my old locality was just the start but I should have known that nothing good comes from girls/larkis etc, she had a brother , a BIG brother and typically he was named Boris and his side kick was Yuri, yes it seems so cliched but those bastards tormented my life a lot back in Dubai.Fortunately i didn't meet them enough in my 7 years there and coming back to Calcutta should have been a relief but it wasn't, thanks to STB.
In class 3 there finally was proper contact with the only other gender at that time,I didn't know much about gays/lesbians etc back then, we had a dance recital for the school. The fact was that i never met the girls in school because we had separate timings and all so meeting them would have been fun and I luckily did get paired with a fairly decent chick , spending those 2 weeks in school was fun and then on the 1st day of the recital after my performance I come back home and i find this little pimple sort of thing on my neck,its still there,thinking it was nothing I put a bandaid on it ,wakey wakey next morning and I am completely covered with dots,bingo boys and girls I got chicken pox,I should have learn't my lesson back then but of course,I didn't.
Coming back to calcutta ,I started going to another school which was an all boys school fortunately or unfortunately the girls section was the building a few 100 meters away, I may be a sick perv but I do give women their space when required,ain't got no lecherous eyes and giving looks to women is just so pathetic by the men here,this is what would happen in this school as well,well mostly from the commerce section,a few of em would leave school early stand opposite the stores from the girls gate and wait for them to come out.Pathetic ,but they enjoyed every moment of it,now those were pervs.
As discussed before and a part of Bonbon's laws,every guy does go through a maagibaazi period and I was no less,the time was around 2007 when I was crazy mad about a couple of chicks from my music school,now normally I am not the sort of guy who goes gaga over any kind of women but there was this oomph factor about these two girls who wound up as best friends ,I mean they were decent looking chicks,not like those crazy mascara wearing,lipstick blotting,short tight assed clothes wearing girls that guys go after,there was this je ne sais quois about them, which later turned out that they had a kick ass sense of humor and had a bloody good grip of the english language.
Recent times have made me blog about this topic,its just that my type of women have to be smart,they should have a bloody good sense of humor and have a good control over the english language,probably be decent to look at either,I have spent a lot of time developing the freak within me and I guess i should be paid off appropriately , fortunately I can say that my ex's do fit the bill but there is a word of warning there as well,I am not looking for a relationship its just that these kind of women are long gone,firstly I am not and never going to be relationship quality material ,I have more than my share of problems to deal with than worry about what color nail polish she should wear,whether she looks fat in a dress or where we should have dinner and all,that never was me and never will be me ,I can safely say that from my "experiences",but again the point is these kind of smart women aren't there anymore.
Nowadays what I find in large quantities are bimbos[again barring a select few] where they love flirting around with any guy possible and more importantly they enjoy certain things which seems cheap[lets call it that as i cant find a word for it] basically they like that hindi bollywood film thingy,guys falling for them just because they were tight clothes flirting about whenever possible,its like 80% of the population between 16-24 years have become maagas and maagis,which really does piss me off to the hilt,I mean there are days that I feel like killing a few of em Dexter style to send a message[not that I would or could because again that's not me]
People say "Its better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all",who the hell came up with that? Probably some sad whiner who couldn't bear seeing his/her "love" go away,unless of course they "did it" that then would make more sense,because believe me people confuse Like with Love and Lust,I know the meaning of all three so that I wont ever confuse anything ever again regarding women and I suggest you do to
I love my parents and ps3,certain things you can't live without,need them everyday and probably would be completely shattered and broken without em,parents,ps3,football,Liverpool FC ,faith,KFC etc
Lust is something you want NOW,like when my ps3 was dead I needed another one bad, and the wait for it took me on the verge of sanity,lust gets confused with love more than me confusing the ambani brothers,Mukesh Anil Tina and Nita,I think.
Like is sort of love but to a lesser extent,you wouldn't die without it,for my case mints,I like em but I dont love em,similarly chicks I LIKE but I certainly can't Love.
Falling for a russian chick in my old locality was just the start but I should have known that nothing good comes from girls/larkis etc, she had a brother , a BIG brother and typically he was named Boris and his side kick was Yuri, yes it seems so cliched but those bastards tormented my life a lot back in Dubai.Fortunately i didn't meet them enough in my 7 years there and coming back to Calcutta should have been a relief but it wasn't, thanks to STB.
In class 3 there finally was proper contact with the only other gender at that time,I didn't know much about gays/lesbians etc back then, we had a dance recital for the school. The fact was that i never met the girls in school because we had separate timings and all so meeting them would have been fun and I luckily did get paired with a fairly decent chick , spending those 2 weeks in school was fun and then on the 1st day of the recital after my performance I come back home and i find this little pimple sort of thing on my neck,its still there,thinking it was nothing I put a bandaid on it ,wakey wakey next morning and I am completely covered with dots,bingo boys and girls I got chicken pox,I should have learn't my lesson back then but of course,I didn't.
Coming back to calcutta ,I started going to another school which was an all boys school fortunately or unfortunately the girls section was the building a few 100 meters away, I may be a sick perv but I do give women their space when required,ain't got no lecherous eyes and giving looks to women is just so pathetic by the men here,this is what would happen in this school as well,well mostly from the commerce section,a few of em would leave school early stand opposite the stores from the girls gate and wait for them to come out.Pathetic ,but they enjoyed every moment of it,now those were pervs.
As discussed before and a part of Bonbon's laws,every guy does go through a maagibaazi period and I was no less,the time was around 2007 when I was crazy mad about a couple of chicks from my music school,now normally I am not the sort of guy who goes gaga over any kind of women but there was this oomph factor about these two girls who wound up as best friends ,I mean they were decent looking chicks,not like those crazy mascara wearing,lipstick blotting,short tight assed clothes wearing girls that guys go after,there was this je ne sais quois about them, which later turned out that they had a kick ass sense of humor and had a bloody good grip of the english language.
Recent times have made me blog about this topic,its just that my type of women have to be smart,they should have a bloody good sense of humor and have a good control over the english language,probably be decent to look at either,I have spent a lot of time developing the freak within me and I guess i should be paid off appropriately , fortunately I can say that my ex's do fit the bill but there is a word of warning there as well,I am not looking for a relationship its just that these kind of women are long gone,firstly I am not and never going to be relationship quality material ,I have more than my share of problems to deal with than worry about what color nail polish she should wear,whether she looks fat in a dress or where we should have dinner and all,that never was me and never will be me ,I can safely say that from my "experiences",but again the point is these kind of smart women aren't there anymore.
Nowadays what I find in large quantities are bimbos[again barring a select few] where they love flirting around with any guy possible and more importantly they enjoy certain things which seems cheap[lets call it that as i cant find a word for it] basically they like that hindi bollywood film thingy,guys falling for them just because they were tight clothes flirting about whenever possible,its like 80% of the population between 16-24 years have become maagas and maagis,which really does piss me off to the hilt,I mean there are days that I feel like killing a few of em Dexter style to send a message[not that I would or could because again that's not me]
People say "Its better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all",who the hell came up with that? Probably some sad whiner who couldn't bear seeing his/her "love" go away,unless of course they "did it" that then would make more sense,because believe me people confuse Like with Love and Lust,I know the meaning of all three so that I wont ever confuse anything ever again regarding women and I suggest you do to
I love my parents and ps3,certain things you can't live without,need them everyday and probably would be completely shattered and broken without em,parents,ps3,football,Liverpool FC ,faith,KFC etc
Lust is something you want NOW,like when my ps3 was dead I needed another one bad, and the wait for it took me on the verge of sanity,lust gets confused with love more than me confusing the ambani brothers,Mukesh Anil Tina and Nita,I think.
Like is sort of love but to a lesser extent,you wouldn't die without it,for my case mints,I like em but I dont love em,similarly chicks I LIKE but I certainly can't Love.
STB & Musalman.......in which sense you ask
For once i will start this post without trying to be over smart, ever since 9/11 muslims as a whole have been targeted and looked at in a totally different manner, yes i do agree that a lot of us Muslim's are overzealous when it comes to our religious views and practices but so are most of the priests of other religions. The major problem here is since one or two major people who carried out those attacks were of a certain religion , the rest of us get branded as scapegoats for any thing that does happen. We must have tolerance for all religions is what i believe, a ton in fact most of my best friends aren't even muslim which we all kid around with each other and religions to an extent, we know there is a limit not to cross and of course respect is key to a happy community of people.
Coming back to the point of the blog, people preconceive what a person will be before they even know them, this has happened quite a few times , like when i was traveling back with my parents in KL, where we met another family from India, the drive was pretty long and seeing that we were from one country they decided to start a conversation, minutes passed by we all chatted about where we were from and what to expect and see in Kuala Lumpur then arbout 10 minutes into the conversation they asked my dad what his name was
Dad replies "Karim"
and bang they don't speak with us for the rest of the journey , twas another 50 minutes before the car dropped us off to the hotel, but this wasn't the first time it had happened and people do look at us muslim's like we were born to blow places up , It has happened to each one of my muslim friends and this cannot be denied.
Here comes the bit I actually wanted to write about and bring a comparison, being muslim may be hard enough in a world full of snap judgements and stereotyping , but believe me being a former or even a current STB student comes a close second, especially in Calcutta, since most of you must know by now St Thomas Boys' school is one notorious place, believe me i have faced it, but most importantly it seems a people freak out and react way differently as soon as i let them know i am a former STB student.
The first such case happened when i decided to enroll into my CAT preparation class, i walked into a Career Launcher center and was asking about the payment details and what was to be expected from the institute, the next day i came around to pay the amount for joining the class and the female and male receptionists were busy chatting with me, they asked what were my hobbies and all, you know the crap that receptionists especially female receptionists do, they are good looking, well versed and can flirt like hell, so the three of us chatted for around 5-10 minutes and then the male receptionist asked me which school was I from, i proudly replied "St Thomas Boys' Kidderpore",now i have to say Kidderpore because there is a St Thomas Day school, completely different from ours but people do confuse both the schools, as soon as i said Kidderpore the reactions on their faces change, and again while my receipt was being prepared for the next 10 minutes not one of em spoke to me.
Then this happened in my college as well,Techno India, people just dont expect STB students to speak proper english, although i do credit this to me constantly watching Cartoon Network [in english FFS] and being in Dubai for a long time ,its not an excuse for others not to speak good english, fortunately all me pals from STB speak pretty good english, some of em are even better than I am.
Like a guy from Techno India told me "There is a rumor in La Marts [ a snobbish school from where most students come out as a prim and proper snob, which is why i love STb even more , no fucking fakeness] that any students in STb who studies from KG and passes out is a certified Gunda"
Well it is true to an extent, the number of fights, police cases ,etc i have seen in STB is far more than any average student should see in his entire lifetime but then again if it wasn't for STB you would have the freak that you have now, believe me back then in 2002 i was actually a decent,respectable member of society....and thank fuck for that changing
STB RULES
as we had made a saying for our 2007 batch
"gaali khayega ,line mein aayega"
Those beautiful days....sigh
Coming back to the point of the blog, people preconceive what a person will be before they even know them, this has happened quite a few times , like when i was traveling back with my parents in KL, where we met another family from India, the drive was pretty long and seeing that we were from one country they decided to start a conversation, minutes passed by we all chatted about where we were from and what to expect and see in Kuala Lumpur then arbout 10 minutes into the conversation they asked my dad what his name was
Dad replies "Karim"
and bang they don't speak with us for the rest of the journey , twas another 50 minutes before the car dropped us off to the hotel, but this wasn't the first time it had happened and people do look at us muslim's like we were born to blow places up , It has happened to each one of my muslim friends and this cannot be denied.
Here comes the bit I actually wanted to write about and bring a comparison, being muslim may be hard enough in a world full of snap judgements and stereotyping , but believe me being a former or even a current STB student comes a close second, especially in Calcutta, since most of you must know by now St Thomas Boys' school is one notorious place, believe me i have faced it, but most importantly it seems a people freak out and react way differently as soon as i let them know i am a former STB student.
The first such case happened when i decided to enroll into my CAT preparation class, i walked into a Career Launcher center and was asking about the payment details and what was to be expected from the institute, the next day i came around to pay the amount for joining the class and the female and male receptionists were busy chatting with me, they asked what were my hobbies and all, you know the crap that receptionists especially female receptionists do, they are good looking, well versed and can flirt like hell, so the three of us chatted for around 5-10 minutes and then the male receptionist asked me which school was I from, i proudly replied "St Thomas Boys' Kidderpore",now i have to say Kidderpore because there is a St Thomas Day school, completely different from ours but people do confuse both the schools, as soon as i said Kidderpore the reactions on their faces change, and again while my receipt was being prepared for the next 10 minutes not one of em spoke to me.
Then this happened in my college as well,Techno India, people just dont expect STB students to speak proper english, although i do credit this to me constantly watching Cartoon Network [in english FFS] and being in Dubai for a long time ,its not an excuse for others not to speak good english, fortunately all me pals from STB speak pretty good english, some of em are even better than I am.
Like a guy from Techno India told me "There is a rumor in La Marts [ a snobbish school from where most students come out as a prim and proper snob, which is why i love STb even more , no fucking fakeness] that any students in STb who studies from KG and passes out is a certified Gunda"
Well it is true to an extent, the number of fights, police cases ,etc i have seen in STB is far more than any average student should see in his entire lifetime but then again if it wasn't for STB you would have the freak that you have now, believe me back then in 2002 i was actually a decent,respectable member of society....and thank fuck for that changing
STB RULES
as we had made a saying for our 2007 batch
"gaali khayega ,line mein aayega"
Those beautiful days....sigh
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Nagu
The 3rd member of the gang of best pals is Nagu ,aka Somraj Sarkar,this guys name was fairly easy to put together due to his mannerisms and by what he is called at home.As all of you must know by now,if you didnt already,all bengali children have a pet name,no matter how easy their name may be easy to pronounce or even if the name is something unique,every bengali kid has a pet name ,thats the rule.
So we have Babla,Rohit is called Tiga[although he is happy with the name,since it is somewhat similar to Ex Fulham manager Jean "Tiga"na,I have Bonny ,and thus Somraj being a bong has "Raja" and since the freak[and believe me he is the freakiest of the lot] would always stick his tongue out to show his disliking of anything i put 2 and 2 together and Baam Naga-raja [King cobra] was born,so to cut it down we started calling him Nagu.
The first time i met the bloke was in class 10,he used to sit behind my bench and he seemed to be a normal bloke,a proper normal guy is hard to find in my school STB,but this guy would keep his trap shut,do nothing,in fact his friend Debapratim was the one who would do all the madness between the two,so i thought he was the mellow bong kid in school who wouldnt do anything to upset people because he was afraid of getting beaten up.
Our friendship initially grew because we were in the same hindi class[wow 2 bongs taking hindi as their 2nd language,we werent able to let that pass because chintoo would have a right go at us,"Betray" and all],there was football to discuss as well,typically he is a manc cunt,but we became the best of pals due to the school band,i was asked to join and play along with nagu,babla,gablu[roshan],adil ,afzal.Nagu was the drummer and we all had our first practice i remember at Babla's Granny's but ever since that day we have always practiced at nagu's.
This bloke is probably confused about his orientation as well,from the time i remembered asking him a very important question his answer has always confused me
q:if you had a choice would you spend a night with the hottest female of your choice or your favorite drum kit?
A:Drumkit,every single fucking time.
Wow is all i can say,and plus he has never had even a go at a relationship,not even an inkling for it,again credit has to be given but since he is a retard it doesnt make it any better.
Again the other bengali characteristic pops up here,being related to music somehow or another,he is a decent drummer though,but his drumming skills and all arent the most distinguishing factor about the bloke in the group,so to recap
Babla=Abuser/Comedian,Chintoo=Geek/Wanna be tall guy,Me=I am the glue that holds the gang together,Comedian/Abuser/Catalyst/Typical Harami comment maker.
Nagu is the slow,dumb freak,now he is slow,but he isnt a freak because of that,he is the real freak because of his actions and emotions or lack of sometimes.
For eg:Some time in diwali we all were at nagu's terrace[i wasnt there] so the guys were all looking up at the sky and a few firecrackers started lighting up the sky
Nagu ,points to the sky and says casually "eh boom,.........Boom.......boom" ,pointing at every burst cracker,with no emotion at all,but he continued saying "boom" everytime something lit off.
Then there are times he tries to prove his stupidity and ignorance,chintoo,nagu and i were at chintoo's,and we were talking about our favorite author's,Chintoo had a ton of Hercule Poiree books or something,i remember making a ton of jokes on em,Agatha Christie as well,i think they were the same book,so i told em "Anon" is my favorite author,i dont read too many books barring game manuals or game magazines,so the 3 of us have a nice chuckle,then after 5 minutes nagu asks "Eh Who is Anon?",so we give him the benefit of the doubt and tell him "Anon is short for Anonymous",Nagu goes "Ohhhhh ok",5 minutes later "Eh Who is Anonymous?"
Then there was the great FA cup joke when Liverpool beat Manu 1-0 in 2006,and he is telling us the next day in school
Nagu:did you see Peter Crouch being busted open by Drogba?
Rohit:Drogba plays for Chelsea.....
Oh yeah whenever something wrong is said in front of him or he wants to interrupt someone,he makes retarded sounds from his mouth ,for eg if anyone has said some wrong fact or something he goes "eh burrrrrrrrrrr pup click clack booomp" and then he starts talking,although i think he does it to make himself the center of attention.
Normally a calm cool guy,sometimes he loses his cool and when you touch a nerve he goes berserk,if anyone constantly pisses him off,mostly me or babla he would shout out "Boka choda ,Khankeer Chele ,Khisti Khabi?"[Translation "Bak chod,Randi ka bachcha,gaali khayega?],oh and he has the strength of like 5-6 men,babla,chintoo and i cant hold him down,we tried but we fail every single time.So he is the wrong person to mess around with.
The avid footballer he is,and we are as well,so almost every alternate day at Rohit's we would play footie,Rohit + Babla,Me+Nagu+Manko,the 3 of us would be together because we didnt have skills and we all are overweight,well nagu aint but he is slow,Nagu though would make excellent runs and would invariably end up being right in front of goal,ball gets crossed and he is standing like a foot in front of the goal line,and then when you think he will finish,the finishing touch by nagu always ended with the ball hitting the roof's ledge,no goal,he did this every time we played like 15 times out of the 16 times he would have a chance at goal,thats talent.
He also sports a beard second to that of a criminal,full fledged beard + moustache combo,he even scared my cousin sister who now refers to him as "daari waala",we gifted him a shaving set on his 16 birthday i remember,he is unrecognisable when he is clean shaven ,he probably will get arrested one day for not looking like the person in his ID card or some,else a terrorist or something for sure.
Right now he is studying Architecture at BESU,he always had a dream about being an "arky" as he calls it ,i remember him being pummeled every single day by his seniors as it was part of ragging,but he couldnt rag his juniors,bloody chutia,nevertheless,his dream was always to build the roof for court where the Wimbledon finals are played,i think that dream is over as i heard the construction for the roof has begun or is finished,not sure,but i coaxed him to build ,or at least he will plan my next house,as he always reminds me,since he is an "arky" ,he will only make plans and not take part in the building process as he is not an engineer,typical lazy bastard.
So we have Babla,Rohit is called Tiga[although he is happy with the name,since it is somewhat similar to Ex Fulham manager Jean "Tiga"na,I have Bonny ,and thus Somraj being a bong has "Raja" and since the freak[and believe me he is the freakiest of the lot] would always stick his tongue out to show his disliking of anything i put 2 and 2 together and Baam Naga-raja [King cobra] was born,so to cut it down we started calling him Nagu.
The first time i met the bloke was in class 10,he used to sit behind my bench and he seemed to be a normal bloke,a proper normal guy is hard to find in my school STB,but this guy would keep his trap shut,do nothing,in fact his friend Debapratim was the one who would do all the madness between the two,so i thought he was the mellow bong kid in school who wouldnt do anything to upset people because he was afraid of getting beaten up.
Our friendship initially grew because we were in the same hindi class[wow 2 bongs taking hindi as their 2nd language,we werent able to let that pass because chintoo would have a right go at us,"Betray" and all],there was football to discuss as well,typically he is a manc cunt,but we became the best of pals due to the school band,i was asked to join and play along with nagu,babla,gablu[roshan],adil ,afzal.Nagu was the drummer and we all had our first practice i remember at Babla's Granny's but ever since that day we have always practiced at nagu's.
This bloke is probably confused about his orientation as well,from the time i remembered asking him a very important question his answer has always confused me
q:if you had a choice would you spend a night with the hottest female of your choice or your favorite drum kit?
A:Drumkit,every single fucking time.
Wow is all i can say,and plus he has never had even a go at a relationship,not even an inkling for it,again credit has to be given but since he is a retard it doesnt make it any better.
Again the other bengali characteristic pops up here,being related to music somehow or another,he is a decent drummer though,but his drumming skills and all arent the most distinguishing factor about the bloke in the group,so to recap
Babla=Abuser/Comedian,Chintoo=Geek/Wanna be tall guy,Me=I am the glue that holds the gang together,Comedian/Abuser/Catalyst/Typical Harami comment maker.
Nagu is the slow,dumb freak,now he is slow,but he isnt a freak because of that,he is the real freak because of his actions and emotions or lack of sometimes.
For eg:Some time in diwali we all were at nagu's terrace[i wasnt there] so the guys were all looking up at the sky and a few firecrackers started lighting up the sky
Nagu ,points to the sky and says casually "eh boom,.........Boom.......boom" ,pointing at every burst cracker,with no emotion at all,but he continued saying "boom" everytime something lit off.
Then there are times he tries to prove his stupidity and ignorance,chintoo,nagu and i were at chintoo's,and we were talking about our favorite author's,Chintoo had a ton of Hercule Poiree books or something,i remember making a ton of jokes on em,Agatha Christie as well,i think they were the same book,so i told em "Anon" is my favorite author,i dont read too many books barring game manuals or game magazines,so the 3 of us have a nice chuckle,then after 5 minutes nagu asks "Eh Who is Anon?",so we give him the benefit of the doubt and tell him "Anon is short for Anonymous",Nagu goes "Ohhhhh ok",5 minutes later "Eh Who is Anonymous?"
Then there was the great FA cup joke when Liverpool beat Manu 1-0 in 2006,and he is telling us the next day in school
Nagu:did you see Peter Crouch being busted open by Drogba?
Rohit:Drogba plays for Chelsea.....
Oh yeah whenever something wrong is said in front of him or he wants to interrupt someone,he makes retarded sounds from his mouth ,for eg if anyone has said some wrong fact or something he goes "eh burrrrrrrrrrr pup click clack booomp" and then he starts talking,although i think he does it to make himself the center of attention.
Normally a calm cool guy,sometimes he loses his cool and when you touch a nerve he goes berserk,if anyone constantly pisses him off,mostly me or babla he would shout out "Boka choda ,Khankeer Chele ,Khisti Khabi?"[Translation "Bak chod,Randi ka bachcha,gaali khayega?],oh and he has the strength of like 5-6 men,babla,chintoo and i cant hold him down,we tried but we fail every single time.So he is the wrong person to mess around with.
The avid footballer he is,and we are as well,so almost every alternate day at Rohit's we would play footie,Rohit + Babla,Me+Nagu+Manko,the 3 of us would be together because we didnt have skills and we all are overweight,well nagu aint but he is slow,Nagu though would make excellent runs and would invariably end up being right in front of goal,ball gets crossed and he is standing like a foot in front of the goal line,and then when you think he will finish,the finishing touch by nagu always ended with the ball hitting the roof's ledge,no goal,he did this every time we played like 15 times out of the 16 times he would have a chance at goal,thats talent.
He also sports a beard second to that of a criminal,full fledged beard + moustache combo,he even scared my cousin sister who now refers to him as "daari waala",we gifted him a shaving set on his 16 birthday i remember,he is unrecognisable when he is clean shaven ,he probably will get arrested one day for not looking like the person in his ID card or some,else a terrorist or something for sure.
Right now he is studying Architecture at BESU,he always had a dream about being an "arky" as he calls it ,i remember him being pummeled every single day by his seniors as it was part of ragging,but he couldnt rag his juniors,bloody chutia,nevertheless,his dream was always to build the roof for court where the Wimbledon finals are played,i think that dream is over as i heard the construction for the roof has begun or is finished,not sure,but i coaxed him to build ,or at least he will plan my next house,as he always reminds me,since he is an "arky" ,he will only make plans and not take part in the building process as he is not an engineer,typical lazy bastard.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Best Fest Pests
Now i do admit that i never knew what fests were when i was in Dubai,had no freaking idea,this fest thing came full throttle when i came back to calcutta and was in the glorious school whoes name you all should know about,the first fest i did attend was held by the APJ school where adil ,gablu,nagu,babla,afzal and chintoo and i played a couple of songs and won.
Nevertheless i wouldnt attend any fest until and unless i had to do something there,like play in the school band or something,coz ultimately it would get boring and cliched ,plus it would become a collosal waste of my time.
So when me pal rohit called me up on the 5th of december and asked me to come along to a fest i was skeptical to say the least,but since i dont meet me school friends all that much due to most of us being scattered away to different parts of the city and for rohit the country ,i thought what the heck at least the old stb gang will be back,at least a few of us would be.
I was a hell more skeptical about attending the fest cause it was "Umang" ,now for all you noobs like me who dont know jack about fests,this "fest" is probably the biggest in terms of college fests in calcutta,it brings in those MTV splitsvilla and fucking roadies contestants for whom people go ga ga over ,all fucking fake attitude wannabe shit,i hate all that crap,most of me friends hate that crap as well,but i went coz babla was gonna play,adil as well,so it was gonna be a threefor.
So we met at Bhaggu[thats what its called] ,now a little history lesson for all of you,Bhaggu is this college which looks like a housing complex,in the middle of calcutta[my geography aint good so forgive me],where only 2 types of students are allowed,3 types
1:Gujjus
2:Rich snobs
3:People who couldnt get admitted to any other decent college
A few of me pals have studied there and are still studying,so off we went,we met sumitano on the way and before entering the college we were frisked and checked,we saw the real security of the college,most of em were these big intimidating looking guys from the college itself[students] one of em was a kinda school mate of ours Shergil ,you remember him from the maa ka kasam episode,so of course he did meet us talked to us for a while before [and i fucking kid you not] talking and using his "walky talkie" to find out some details etc,i mean come on the college is the size of a housing fucking society how the fuck do you require walky talkies?,nevertheless he was good enough to let us enter a second time without having to go to the back of the line....thats the use of contacts.
We later met babla,gujju ,adil and a few other people who were to play with the guys,babla gujju and a couple of guys played a LP song with a saliva song "king of the stereo" but as usual they had technical difficulties,the performance was brilliant,but the technical snags cost them a lota time,thats the one thing babla has learnt from so many shows
"Umm excuse us,we are facing some technical difficulties,please reset our time,we want to start again"
The other bands were ok ,some were really crap botching up some really good songs,Adil ka band toh sab ko maar dala,playing a medly of RHCP[give it away,californication,dani california] before ripping apart the competition with an original,well that was or at least should be good enough for em to win,i dont know the results yet,but these werent the best parts of the day by any shot.
As soon as babla went on stage,chintoo and i started shouting,along with sumitano "BABLA BABLA BABLA" and since we are former STB students we could shout much more than the netire crowd fo 200-300 people out there,yup just the 3 of us
I chipped in with
"JEET KE AAOGE"
and all that,of course we cheered for Gujju as well,screaming Gujju as loud as we could,no one dared say jack to us even though we were surrounded by the gujju population of calcutta.
One of the best bits started after babla had finished playing and he was in the crowd with us,this freaky hot mc was constantly on the mike asking people to shout out the different sponsors names like Power FM,Y.E.S stationary,Wild Stone perfume and all,we had one simple answer to it all
so
"Can people tell me who are our stationary partners?"
"RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"
"Can you all scream out the name of our radio partners?????"
"RRRRRRAAAAAAAAJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJUUUUUUUUU"
"Can people scream out our hospitality partners?"
"GGGGGUUUUULLLLIIIISSSTAAAAANNNN HHHHHOOOTTTTTEEEEEELLLLLL"
They even had this fashion designer called Kalol chakka Dutta
"who is the special guest of our fashion show????"
"RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAJJJJJJJJJJJUUUUUUUUUUU"
And after each question the lady would throw out chocolates and man people would fight for the chocolates,forturnately sumitano was able to grab a kitkat and we shared it amongst ourselves,the eight of us.
Oh yeah there were parts when people on stage would scream for bhawanipore and we would scream out
"ekbalpore,kidderpore,jamalpara,metiaburuz and sonargachi"
Sumitano even came up with a classic "Carmaker"-karmaker to a chick who sounded him off for the dick he was trying to be,although there were a ton of wannabes and assholes in the entire para,we were the only ones who seemed to enjoy the show,along with a few other mad fucks who wanted to start a moshpit but we couldnt do that coz we are all decent people who dont do jack.....
NOT!
PS:there were a ton of hot chicks present there,but we really didnt give a fuck to any of em,us few guys were having such a blast that all of us later crashed at my place[barring sumitano] and watched a bit of DESHDROHI!
Nevertheless i wouldnt attend any fest until and unless i had to do something there,like play in the school band or something,coz ultimately it would get boring and cliched ,plus it would become a collosal waste of my time.
So when me pal rohit called me up on the 5th of december and asked me to come along to a fest i was skeptical to say the least,but since i dont meet me school friends all that much due to most of us being scattered away to different parts of the city and for rohit the country ,i thought what the heck at least the old stb gang will be back,at least a few of us would be.
I was a hell more skeptical about attending the fest cause it was "Umang" ,now for all you noobs like me who dont know jack about fests,this "fest" is probably the biggest in terms of college fests in calcutta,it brings in those MTV splitsvilla and fucking roadies contestants for whom people go ga ga over ,all fucking fake attitude wannabe shit,i hate all that crap,most of me friends hate that crap as well,but i went coz babla was gonna play,adil as well,so it was gonna be a threefor.
So we met at Bhaggu[thats what its called] ,now a little history lesson for all of you,Bhaggu is this college which looks like a housing complex,in the middle of calcutta[my geography aint good so forgive me],where only 2 types of students are allowed,3 types
1:Gujjus
2:Rich snobs
3:People who couldnt get admitted to any other decent college
A few of me pals have studied there and are still studying,so off we went,we met sumitano on the way and before entering the college we were frisked and checked,we saw the real security of the college,most of em were these big intimidating looking guys from the college itself[students] one of em was a kinda school mate of ours Shergil ,you remember him from the maa ka kasam episode,so of course he did meet us talked to us for a while before [and i fucking kid you not] talking and using his "walky talkie" to find out some details etc,i mean come on the college is the size of a housing fucking society how the fuck do you require walky talkies?,nevertheless he was good enough to let us enter a second time without having to go to the back of the line....thats the use of contacts.
We later met babla,gujju ,adil and a few other people who were to play with the guys,babla gujju and a couple of guys played a LP song with a saliva song "king of the stereo" but as usual they had technical difficulties,the performance was brilliant,but the technical snags cost them a lota time,thats the one thing babla has learnt from so many shows
"Umm excuse us,we are facing some technical difficulties,please reset our time,we want to start again"
The other bands were ok ,some were really crap botching up some really good songs,Adil ka band toh sab ko maar dala,playing a medly of RHCP[give it away,californication,dani california] before ripping apart the competition with an original,well that was or at least should be good enough for em to win,i dont know the results yet,but these werent the best parts of the day by any shot.
As soon as babla went on stage,chintoo and i started shouting,along with sumitano "BABLA BABLA BABLA" and since we are former STB students we could shout much more than the netire crowd fo 200-300 people out there,yup just the 3 of us
I chipped in with
"JEET KE AAOGE"
and all that,of course we cheered for Gujju as well,screaming Gujju as loud as we could,no one dared say jack to us even though we were surrounded by the gujju population of calcutta.
One of the best bits started after babla had finished playing and he was in the crowd with us,this freaky hot mc was constantly on the mike asking people to shout out the different sponsors names like Power FM,Y.E.S stationary,Wild Stone perfume and all,we had one simple answer to it all
so
"Can people tell me who are our stationary partners?"
"RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"
"Can you all scream out the name of our radio partners?????"
"RRRRRRAAAAAAAAJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJUUUUUUUUU"
"Can people scream out our hospitality partners?"
"GGGGGUUUUULLLLIIIISSSTAAAAANNNN HHHHHOOOTTTTTEEEEEELLLLLL"
They even had this fashion designer called Kalol chakka Dutta
"who is the special guest of our fashion show????"
"RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAJJJJJJJJJJJUUUUUUUUUUU"
And after each question the lady would throw out chocolates and man people would fight for the chocolates,forturnately sumitano was able to grab a kitkat and we shared it amongst ourselves,the eight of us.
Oh yeah there were parts when people on stage would scream for bhawanipore and we would scream out
"ekbalpore,kidderpore,jamalpara,metiaburuz and sonargachi"
Sumitano even came up with a classic "Carmaker"-karmaker to a chick who sounded him off for the dick he was trying to be,although there were a ton of wannabes and assholes in the entire para,we were the only ones who seemed to enjoy the show,along with a few other mad fucks who wanted to start a moshpit but we couldnt do that coz we are all decent people who dont do jack.....
NOT!
PS:there were a ton of hot chicks present there,but we really didnt give a fuck to any of em,us few guys were having such a blast that all of us later crashed at my place[barring sumitano] and watched a bit of DESHDROHI!
Friday, December 4, 2009
Retardos
Now of course you people know about the ton of retards in me school,some of em were really freaky,the studious group often constituted of the gays,and there is this incident when a couple of studiays[thats studious gays] were chatting to one another another,and they had some argument so one gay slapped the fuck out of the other,i think it was sourjo or anirudho who got slapped,now what would a Mard/man do if he got hit,that to way fucking hard,well heaven and hell would open up,the skies would have hailstones falling and wrath would be unleashed on earth,but hell no the chakka decides to poke[like that facebook poke] the other guy and then retorts
"I believe i hit you"
Gay cunt
Then there was August Muni who was actually retarded,once i remember,in fact me pal told me that often Muni would sit in the last bench of the class and play around with his ding dong bell[penis,dick,laura for all of you who dont know what i am talking about] and he would do this regularly
But i must say this,he was the best penalty kick taker in the world,no one could ever guess which way he was gonna go coz he was cock eyed,i kid you not,i dont think anyone ever saved any of his penalties
Of course there was Imrano ronaldo gaynaldo,who thought he was cristiano ronaldo,he certainly got that gay persona perfectly in college though,i remember chatting with him in class 10 when he said that if he would do well in these board exams his dad would take him to,again i kid you not,manchester and he would try out and get into the MANU U-17 team and would play for em,that dream changed and he then wanted to go to Anderlecht in Belgium coz it was a sister club of MANU,that didnt happen also,
Imrano's greatest joke of course was that regarding Mr Forran,a teacher with whom we played a lotta football during thw winter vacations in out school,everyday at 6 AM we would go to the field to play,one such saturday chintoo and i reached the field and no one was there barring imrano who told us that
"Mr Forran has gone to Canada......he wont come back"
A few weeks later school opened and funnily enough we saw Mr Forran walking around
we went to him and asked him
"Sir we heard you had gone to Canada....how come you are here back"
Forran replied
"Who told you this?
That imran gadwa right,bloody fool has been telling everyone i have gone to Canada,i bloody told him i was going to Kerela"
That of course wasnt the only time we made fun of our dear imrano
as probably the greatest 2 liner ever made by any student in STB,here it goes
"Imran gaya kathmandu,imran gaya kathmandu
sab usko dekh kar bol....GANDU GANDU GANDU"
"I believe i hit you"
Gay cunt
Then there was August Muni who was actually retarded,once i remember,in fact me pal told me that often Muni would sit in the last bench of the class and play around with his ding dong bell[penis,dick,laura for all of you who dont know what i am talking about] and he would do this regularly
But i must say this,he was the best penalty kick taker in the world,no one could ever guess which way he was gonna go coz he was cock eyed,i kid you not,i dont think anyone ever saved any of his penalties
Of course there was Imrano ronaldo gaynaldo,who thought he was cristiano ronaldo,he certainly got that gay persona perfectly in college though,i remember chatting with him in class 10 when he said that if he would do well in these board exams his dad would take him to,again i kid you not,manchester and he would try out and get into the MANU U-17 team and would play for em,that dream changed and he then wanted to go to Anderlecht in Belgium coz it was a sister club of MANU,that didnt happen also,
Imrano's greatest joke of course was that regarding Mr Forran,a teacher with whom we played a lotta football during thw winter vacations in out school,everyday at 6 AM we would go to the field to play,one such saturday chintoo and i reached the field and no one was there barring imrano who told us that
"Mr Forran has gone to Canada......he wont come back"
A few weeks later school opened and funnily enough we saw Mr Forran walking around
we went to him and asked him
"Sir we heard you had gone to Canada....how come you are here back"
Forran replied
"Who told you this?
That imran gadwa right,bloody fool has been telling everyone i have gone to Canada,i bloody told him i was going to Kerela"
That of course wasnt the only time we made fun of our dear imrano
as probably the greatest 2 liner ever made by any student in STB,here it goes
"Imran gaya kathmandu,imran gaya kathmandu
sab usko dekh kar bol....GANDU GANDU GANDU"
Monday, November 9, 2009
The case of the missing shoe
My school is known for all the gundas and criminals from all around the locality,from threatening the cricket team,to starting a fight,to throwing hot
tea at the face of college students,STB were always numero uno in crime.So it should as no surprise that some stealing and looting often occured in school from mobiles to pens to even notebooks to text books ,you leave all your stuff behind at your own peril.
So again it should come as nothing new that i was also the victim of a criminal activity,which turned out to be he stupidity of an asshole.
As i said a lot of things would often at me school and since we were the science students we often had to visit the labs,physics,chemistry,biology and computer labs were all used exclusively by us,the 3 science labs were ok but the computer lab had this one quirky rule that whoever would enter would have to take off their shoes,fro some freaking reason the teachers were allowed to wear shoes in the lab but not us,so we had to leave the shoes on a rack outside the lab.
Next to the lab was the class of 12 E,the most notorious sons of guns in our school,they would fight,abuse and tr to beat up not only themselves but the teachers as well,they locked up a teacher and made him see a porno as well.We had like a hour of computer lab classes once a week and whenever we would come out of the class the shoes would magically dissappear,they wouldnt be on the racks but "mysteriously" they would be found beneath the staircase all in a heap.Fucking class 12 E assholes would throw em everytime they had a chance.That was stlll fine but a few weeks after that a fatter pal of mine came up to me after the computer class as he couldnt find his shoes,the dumb sons of bitches stole his pair of shoes.Size 9 they were i remember and since he was a bengali he wa in fear of returning home without his shoes,but he had to face the
brunt of walking to his bus without shoes ,only in socks.
He did have to ultimately buy a new pair but a few weeks later i was the next victim,as i came out of the lab and me pals were putting on their shoes,i couldnt find my pair ,frantically i searched every nook and corner of the floor ,even below the staircase but it wasnt to be found,and as usual my computer teachers were of no help at all,saying they cant help me at all, and that i should have been more careful wilth my belongings
Me pal rohit[chintoo] and i were searching all over and i was made to walk back to me class on socks when sumitano dickhead comes running over to me and tells me
"Hey Adeem remember Abhijeet sur[the guy whos shoes were stolen previously"
"yeah i remember that fat ass"
"Well you better catch him fast coz i saw him grabbing a pair of shoes from the rack and he kept it in his bag"
So off we went followed by an angry mob of 5 because i was fucking pissed off at walking almost 200-300 metres without my shoes,he was fortunately standing next to the triangle island we had near our building and since it was recess he didnt go off to class.
So i confronted him
"Hey Suar why did you take my shoes"
Sur:"I didnt take your shoes ,these are my shoes"
Me:"From where the fuck did you find em"
Sur:"I found em at the shoe rack,these are my shoes which i lost a few weeks back"
Rohit:"How the fuck do you know these are your shoes?"
Sur:"Coz they are size 9"
Thats when we all blew our fuses,what the fuck is he the only person in the world who has size 9 shoes,look at the fucktards audacity to not only steal a pair,keep em in his bag but also expect that no one else would have size 9 shoes fucking asshole
Nevertheless he did have to return my pair of shoes back ,he did realise his mistake after we threatened his ass off,but i did feel his pain though i didnt have to walk a lot of distance without his shoes,you could say i did walk 300 metres in his shoes.
tea at the face of college students,STB were always numero uno in crime.So it should as no surprise that some stealing and looting often occured in school from mobiles to pens to even notebooks to text books ,you leave all your stuff behind at your own peril.
So again it should come as nothing new that i was also the victim of a criminal activity,which turned out to be he stupidity of an asshole.
As i said a lot of things would often at me school and since we were the science students we often had to visit the labs,physics,chemistry,biology and computer labs were all used exclusively by us,the 3 science labs were ok but the computer lab had this one quirky rule that whoever would enter would have to take off their shoes,fro some freaking reason the teachers were allowed to wear shoes in the lab but not us,so we had to leave the shoes on a rack outside the lab.
Next to the lab was the class of 12 E,the most notorious sons of guns in our school,they would fight,abuse and tr to beat up not only themselves but the teachers as well,they locked up a teacher and made him see a porno as well.We had like a hour of computer lab classes once a week and whenever we would come out of the class the shoes would magically dissappear,they wouldnt be on the racks but "mysteriously" they would be found beneath the staircase all in a heap.Fucking class 12 E assholes would throw em everytime they had a chance.That was stlll fine but a few weeks after that a fatter pal of mine came up to me after the computer class as he couldnt find his shoes,the dumb sons of bitches stole his pair of shoes.Size 9 they were i remember and since he was a bengali he wa in fear of returning home without his shoes,but he had to face the
brunt of walking to his bus without shoes ,only in socks.
He did have to ultimately buy a new pair but a few weeks later i was the next victim,as i came out of the lab and me pals were putting on their shoes,i couldnt find my pair ,frantically i searched every nook and corner of the floor ,even below the staircase but it wasnt to be found,and as usual my computer teachers were of no help at all,saying they cant help me at all, and that i should have been more careful wilth my belongings
Me pal rohit[chintoo] and i were searching all over and i was made to walk back to me class on socks when sumitano dickhead comes running over to me and tells me
"Hey Adeem remember Abhijeet sur[the guy whos shoes were stolen previously"
"yeah i remember that fat ass"
"Well you better catch him fast coz i saw him grabbing a pair of shoes from the rack and he kept it in his bag"
So off we went followed by an angry mob of 5 because i was fucking pissed off at walking almost 200-300 metres without my shoes,he was fortunately standing next to the triangle island we had near our building and since it was recess he didnt go off to class.
So i confronted him
"Hey Suar why did you take my shoes"
Sur:"I didnt take your shoes ,these are my shoes"
Me:"From where the fuck did you find em"
Sur:"I found em at the shoe rack,these are my shoes which i lost a few weeks back"
Rohit:"How the fuck do you know these are your shoes?"
Sur:"Coz they are size 9"
Thats when we all blew our fuses,what the fuck is he the only person in the world who has size 9 shoes,look at the fucktards audacity to not only steal a pair,keep em in his bag but also expect that no one else would have size 9 shoes fucking asshole
Nevertheless he did have to return my pair of shoes back ,he did realise his mistake after we threatened his ass off,but i did feel his pain though i didnt have to walk a lot of distance without his shoes,you could say i did walk 300 metres in his shoes.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
My name Jaki Kabir
St Thomas' is like a goldmine for a diverse range of students,we had the gays,we had the straights,we had the bisexuals,we had the comedians,we had the abusers,we had the quite folk,we had the geeks, we had the nerds,we had the losers,we had those perfect people,we had the jocks,we had the cocks,we had it all cept of course females coz its an all boys school and of course we had the good old
fashioned freaks of nature.
The first few pals i made in the school turned out to be the freakiest bunch ever,one guy became a drug addict in fact two of em are hardcore drug addicts ,another is an alcoholic,but no one takes the cake like my good friend Zaki Kabir does,i mean he is so freaky you dont even need to get him drunk to watch him in full flowing action.
Built like a typical tough guy ,the only reason people didnt consider him tough was coz he was way short,i mean not very short but if you are shorter than me i will pick on you every single day of your life,the dude did have a good set of muscles and all that.A decent enough sportsperson and all around complete retard.
He would often come to my class,during recess,just to see us,most of his good friends were in science and he was in commerce,or he would come just to fuck around i dont know,and all off a sudden he would just start singing any romantic song is his loud booming voice for no reason,i cant remember which songs but for sure some SRK movie songs,and as ever present there would be one guy sitting on
a desk oblivious to what is going on ,he would not even be part of the group or even the conversation but as soon as he would hear some music on ,boom he would start banging on the desk ,keeping a set rhythm while Zaki would keep on singing one song after another,fucking medley.
Then of course since he was an STB student ,he was always on the verge of starting a fight,often his singing would lead to a build up to a fight ,but we knew the drill he would never fight ,he just wanted to show he wasnt fazed or scared of no one,still we would play the part of peace maker,holding back the 2 people who wanted to "rip" each other to shreds
"Nahi bhai chorr de woh bachcha hai"
"Kya Zaki chor na yaar sala har din ladhai kyu karta hain?"
The greatest hits collection of Zaki constitute of some of his craziness and absolute stupidity,for example one day we were waiting to cross the road,now if you people dont know Calcutta is notorious for hit and runs,especially by buses,and so we all are waiting for a bus to pass,the bus had slowed down to let off some passengers and was reving up to accelerate when
BOOOOOOM!......BOOOOM!
two fucking huge hits from his hand to the bus drivers entrance,and the bus stops in its tracks,the bus driver is flummoxed
Zaki:AAAAAEEEEEEE RUUUUUK RUUUUUUK .......
and he crosses unfaced ,while we scamper to cross the street,we were just gald the driver didnt step on the accelerator and run over the bloke but i guess Zaki could have stopped that also.
In class 10 he was the moniter of the class,trying to keep the class disciplined in STB is no easy job i can assure you of that,but Zaki would try his level best and as usual when the ruckus would be too loud and uncontrollable up would step the great leader of the masses,bang his hand on the teachers desk
shout out
"IF ANY BODY WILL TALK I WILL HIT YOU[pointing to babla]"
Babla:arrey hum kya kiya ,humko kyu marega?
and of course when a teacher would come to class ,Zaki would shout out
"Whole the class stand up"
yes we can....and we will.....
But the blokes greatest one liner still remains an amazing memory and this would happen on a regular basis,this conversation
Me:Achcha Zaki tum toh STB mein 12 saal se par rahe ho
Zaki:ha yes ha
Me:STB english medium school hain na bhai
Zaki:ha hain
Me:Achca toh tum 5 line english ka bol do without errors aur main maan jaoonga ke tum english jaante ho
Zaki:Theek hai Adeem......My name Jaki Kabir.....
WRONG!
The first fucking line is wrong and he had been in the school from class 1 right upto 12 and the guy couldnt speak one straight line of english,and the worst bit is that everytime,everyday i would ask him this question his response would be the same
MY NAME JAKI KABIR
MY NAME JAKI KABIR
fashioned freaks of nature.
The first few pals i made in the school turned out to be the freakiest bunch ever,one guy became a drug addict in fact two of em are hardcore drug addicts ,another is an alcoholic,but no one takes the cake like my good friend Zaki Kabir does,i mean he is so freaky you dont even need to get him drunk to watch him in full flowing action.
Built like a typical tough guy ,the only reason people didnt consider him tough was coz he was way short,i mean not very short but if you are shorter than me i will pick on you every single day of your life,the dude did have a good set of muscles and all that.A decent enough sportsperson and all around complete retard.
He would often come to my class,during recess,just to see us,most of his good friends were in science and he was in commerce,or he would come just to fuck around i dont know,and all off a sudden he would just start singing any romantic song is his loud booming voice for no reason,i cant remember which songs but for sure some SRK movie songs,and as ever present there would be one guy sitting on
a desk oblivious to what is going on ,he would not even be part of the group or even the conversation but as soon as he would hear some music on ,boom he would start banging on the desk ,keeping a set rhythm while Zaki would keep on singing one song after another,fucking medley.
Then of course since he was an STB student ,he was always on the verge of starting a fight,often his singing would lead to a build up to a fight ,but we knew the drill he would never fight ,he just wanted to show he wasnt fazed or scared of no one,still we would play the part of peace maker,holding back the 2 people who wanted to "rip" each other to shreds
"Nahi bhai chorr de woh bachcha hai"
"Kya Zaki chor na yaar sala har din ladhai kyu karta hain?"
The greatest hits collection of Zaki constitute of some of his craziness and absolute stupidity,for example one day we were waiting to cross the road,now if you people dont know Calcutta is notorious for hit and runs,especially by buses,and so we all are waiting for a bus to pass,the bus had slowed down to let off some passengers and was reving up to accelerate when
BOOOOOOM!......BOOOOM!
two fucking huge hits from his hand to the bus drivers entrance,and the bus stops in its tracks,the bus driver is flummoxed
Zaki:AAAAAEEEEEEE RUUUUUK RUUUUUUK .......
and he crosses unfaced ,while we scamper to cross the street,we were just gald the driver didnt step on the accelerator and run over the bloke but i guess Zaki could have stopped that also.
In class 10 he was the moniter of the class,trying to keep the class disciplined in STB is no easy job i can assure you of that,but Zaki would try his level best and as usual when the ruckus would be too loud and uncontrollable up would step the great leader of the masses,bang his hand on the teachers desk
shout out
"IF ANY BODY WILL TALK I WILL HIT YOU[pointing to babla]"
Babla:arrey hum kya kiya ,humko kyu marega?
and of course when a teacher would come to class ,Zaki would shout out
"Whole the class stand up"
yes we can....and we will.....
But the blokes greatest one liner still remains an amazing memory and this would happen on a regular basis,this conversation
Me:Achcha Zaki tum toh STB mein 12 saal se par rahe ho
Zaki:ha yes ha
Me:STB english medium school hain na bhai
Zaki:ha hain
Me:Achca toh tum 5 line english ka bol do without errors aur main maan jaoonga ke tum english jaante ho
Zaki:Theek hai Adeem......My name Jaki Kabir.....
WRONG!
The first fucking line is wrong and he had been in the school from class 1 right upto 12 and the guy couldnt speak one straight line of english,and the worst bit is that everytime,everyday i would ask him this question his response would be the same
MY NAME JAKI KABIR
MY NAME JAKI KABIR
Monday, October 5, 2009
Sports Day
We all know by now i am not the sporty type,sure i watch a ton of sports,especially football....GO LIVERPOOL GO.....but i was never cut out to be a sportsperson especially due to one freaky accident i had in class 1 when in me old school Our Own English High School Dubai ,we were having trials for the Relay dash,and we were asked to run from one side of the small field to the other side,now since it is
Dubai ,the small field was made of concrete,not grass but con-fucking-crete,BANG!.....went the gun i started running and by some freaky weird incident my leg got entangled with another kid's,i fell straight down,my faced scrapped the good old concrete,when i got up i was a bloody mess,the entire right side of my face was destroyed,i mean skin was dangling off and all,me teeth became loose and i couldnt eat solid food for like 2 weeks.That one incident got me shit scared as well as me family and they never forced me into sports ever again,they made me play the keyboards which is far worse......
So i spent 7 years in Dubai,skipping any and every sports meet possible,which means i got to be good old fatty boy,i have reduced a good bit now but back then i was a Big Mac.....so i came back to me home town Calcutta the city of joy and all that,STB well you must know what STB is like by now,check out my older posts if you dont have any idea at all,all is going fine,i mean day in day out i was getting
abused the first year,name calling and all that .....but one day during an assembly a teacher yells out there will be march practice and so the last two periods will be reserved for that...and then after the march practice there would be trials for certain events.
So after the 6th period the bell goes off,i am a new kid dont know nothing bout the school and i see almost all the students heading off into the huge field that we have,i mean its like 3-4 football fields if not more....and we had like the many buildings of our school surrounding it with a few benches to sit on,the field has all these track markings with white chalk and all,10 minutes pass but no one is marching at all,all i see are 6 groups of people standing about,a few teachers per group and the group contains just the house captains and a few blokes who do wanna march,everyone else is standing at the sides of the field for God knows what reason,which i am gonna find out soon.
You see no one ever wants to march,we are FORCED to march,so the march mayhem begins,i see from a distance that around 50-60 students come running from one corner of the field ,zoom by us and hide in the technical block,i wonder what is going on,the i see a similar no of boys run in another direction from the opposite side and hide in some classrooms,a few minutes later a prefect comes up
and asks me
"Hey you are Lytton?????"
I reply "No i am Reading"
Lytton,reading,wescott,vyse, and 2 more names were there i cant remember,these were the houses in our school,our school had so many fucking students we needed 6 houses just to accomodate em,so now i understood,guys were running away from their own prefects coz if you were caught by your prefect you were made to march your ass off for like an hour and 30 minutes,with constant slagging off and abuses by the prefects coz we "coudlnt march right" and that "we suck" the moter fucking prefects would never march in the heat just chase us guys around.
Oh and we did have some incentive to march about for like 3 weeks day in day out....we would score like 100 points in the sports day and we would get a large cake to be eaten by all us marchers,the reality was that the ake would get eaten by the prefects with us getting absolutely nothing,so the best way to avoid getting caught was to remove our belt and wear some other house's belt,
"Are you wescott????"
"nope reading"
"Are you reading????"
"nope lytton"
On and on and on we would go,i never did take part in any of the school sports days at all.....never even attended one to support my house,in fact we had a douche as out house captain QAM......that mofo would often catch hold of me and first of all demand that i go march and when i would refuse he would come and tell me that i would be the "anchor weight" in the tug of war competition,fuck off randi ,was my response on all of the occasions......
The sports day wasnt all about the marching tere were all those athletic events and all,most of these events were won by either the kids from Mizoram and all or by some anglo christian bloke,Lal Sangamanga Riki,Riki Junior,Riki Senior,Lalamapunga, and all.....so the sports day was actually some freak get together of the "other people" in our school........oh yeah i remember
Lal San Puiyaa....Saiyaaaan mann Guiiyaaa.....me pals know whats this about!
Dubai ,the small field was made of concrete,not grass but con-fucking-crete,BANG!.....went the gun i started running and by some freaky weird incident my leg got entangled with another kid's,i fell straight down,my faced scrapped the good old concrete,when i got up i was a bloody mess,the entire right side of my face was destroyed,i mean skin was dangling off and all,me teeth became loose and i couldnt eat solid food for like 2 weeks.That one incident got me shit scared as well as me family and they never forced me into sports ever again,they made me play the keyboards which is far worse......
So i spent 7 years in Dubai,skipping any and every sports meet possible,which means i got to be good old fatty boy,i have reduced a good bit now but back then i was a Big Mac.....so i came back to me home town Calcutta the city of joy and all that,STB well you must know what STB is like by now,check out my older posts if you dont have any idea at all,all is going fine,i mean day in day out i was getting
abused the first year,name calling and all that .....but one day during an assembly a teacher yells out there will be march practice and so the last two periods will be reserved for that...and then after the march practice there would be trials for certain events.
So after the 6th period the bell goes off,i am a new kid dont know nothing bout the school and i see almost all the students heading off into the huge field that we have,i mean its like 3-4 football fields if not more....and we had like the many buildings of our school surrounding it with a few benches to sit on,the field has all these track markings with white chalk and all,10 minutes pass but no one is marching at all,all i see are 6 groups of people standing about,a few teachers per group and the group contains just the house captains and a few blokes who do wanna march,everyone else is standing at the sides of the field for God knows what reason,which i am gonna find out soon.
You see no one ever wants to march,we are FORCED to march,so the march mayhem begins,i see from a distance that around 50-60 students come running from one corner of the field ,zoom by us and hide in the technical block,i wonder what is going on,the i see a similar no of boys run in another direction from the opposite side and hide in some classrooms,a few minutes later a prefect comes up
and asks me
"Hey you are Lytton?????"
I reply "No i am Reading"
Lytton,reading,wescott,vyse, and 2 more names were there i cant remember,these were the houses in our school,our school had so many fucking students we needed 6 houses just to accomodate em,so now i understood,guys were running away from their own prefects coz if you were caught by your prefect you were made to march your ass off for like an hour and 30 minutes,with constant slagging off and abuses by the prefects coz we "coudlnt march right" and that "we suck" the moter fucking prefects would never march in the heat just chase us guys around.
Oh and we did have some incentive to march about for like 3 weeks day in day out....we would score like 100 points in the sports day and we would get a large cake to be eaten by all us marchers,the reality was that the ake would get eaten by the prefects with us getting absolutely nothing,so the best way to avoid getting caught was to remove our belt and wear some other house's belt,
"Are you wescott????"
"nope reading"
"Are you reading????"
"nope lytton"
On and on and on we would go,i never did take part in any of the school sports days at all.....never even attended one to support my house,in fact we had a douche as out house captain QAM......that mofo would often catch hold of me and first of all demand that i go march and when i would refuse he would come and tell me that i would be the "anchor weight" in the tug of war competition,fuck off randi ,was my response on all of the occasions......
The sports day wasnt all about the marching tere were all those athletic events and all,most of these events were won by either the kids from Mizoram and all or by some anglo christian bloke,Lal Sangamanga Riki,Riki Junior,Riki Senior,Lalamapunga, and all.....so the sports day was actually some freak get together of the "other people" in our school........oh yeah i remember
Lal San Puiyaa....Saiyaaaan mann Guiiyaaa.....me pals know whats this about!
Friday, October 2, 2009
S-P-E-L-L-O-M-A-......oh fuck off
I dont really know what is wrong with the normal "sports" in the world,i mean football,cricket,hockey,motor racing...all are great forms of sport and competition,but for some reason thats not good enough for the americans,they came up with basketball,"american" football,ice hockey[ok give that one to the canadians as well] and the great american past time baseball.They are the only
people who do play these sports seriously and they win ,well most of the times barring Spain's gold medal in Basketball or the domination of The Soviet Union and Canada in hockey,and the best pitcher in the MLB is CC Sabathia who aint American and well the the best Hitters in the game are A Rod,Ichiro Suzuki and Big Papi none of em americans....well that just proves they cant win their own created games as well.....so now we know the reason for the creation of other crappy "sport" events ,like stacking,where they stack cups real fast and in formations and all,and of course the one craze which has hit almost every nation "THE SPELLING BEE"....which was broadcast on ESPN of all channels for a few years till ABC got the rights,you know where a stupid kid comes up and spells real hard words which no one has ever heard off and which no one ever uses,by the way the people who normally win this spelling bee are indian americans.....so there we go
As usual we Indians were not far behind,well actually STB was not far behind,trying to prove that it is a
modern school with a ton of talented and smart kids ,they came up with their own SPELL O MANIA.....which was held first in 2006 i think,i remember K C ,that english freaky maam who would make such crappy pronunciations of words....like ocarina was "oh-kareeena".....so she was one of the judges and heads in creating and organizing the entire competition,there was a prelim where the students were asked to spell out words on a paper and those who got most right would be selected,i didnt get through but a few of me pals did,Chintoo also got through but he was later told that he would have to be the Emcee or host of the FIRST EVER ANNUAL SPELLOMANIA of STB,wow what an honour.....Chintoo couldnt shut up for a couple of days,
Chintoo:I am going to be the host man,i will control the show....
he would go on and on and on and on until some one would shut him up......but that wouldnt be enough to tell him to cut the crap,he would continue later and go on and on.....but the Dark Lord's above and below had a special plan for his bloating and gloating
So as usual the day of he competition came,everyone was excited coz we would get to miss the last 3 periods of the day......yaaaaay.......but only the science students got that privilege,we went into the hall and saw that the teams were already on stage,the 6 houses were all present with 2 representatives for each house.....Rohit was on the stage with the mic getting all prepped up for his day.....and then KC
entered with a few more teachers and Harami Wheatley who as usual started off by saying that we must be quite,not make noise,be respectful....in his fucking pitiful english anglo 'i am so much better and whiter than you guys' tone....fucking randwa.......but as usual we didnt give a fuck to him and as per usual the show /competition started off much later than expected,so Rohit started off his speech....Chintoo[rohit] made the introductions and was using emacculate english,fucking geeko.....so as he is about to start the first round,KC jumps on stage and takes the mic from him and she also makes a crap assed speech,and as rohit is expecting the mic to come back to him,KC starts the competitions....rohit confused just stands on the stage.....while KC does all off the emceeing and all
that.....while Rohit ends up just passing the mic around from one set of contestants to another.......the poor bloke didnt even get a chance to ask one question....while KC was doing all her dramabazee...rohit was just standing in one corner of the stage and passing the mic whenever KC decided to make him a part.......
Rohit did have a closing speech but after the speech he was the joke of the month ,and as you people know me i wouldnt let him off the hook so easily,i mean he had to pay for his gloating...sala waiter ban gaya.....what was the most important thing you did all day???....oh yeah pass the mike....this went on and on and on till one day the "silent assassin" thingy came up thanks to KC again....that is a story for
another day....
We were part of a 2nd Spellomania as well,this time also it hink Rohit was the emcee....but whoever it was he did have more power and control over the show,the only funny bit was when Kaps Baba was asked to spell a word and he got it round and while we were applauding he raised his right hand Nazi style....right infront of our then Princi Fuller....who also looked like a Nazi with his Hitler Moustache.....well i guess thats why Kaps did do it.....just to impress another Nazi.....from one to another i guess....All H-A-I-L............TING!
people who do play these sports seriously and they win ,well most of the times barring Spain's gold medal in Basketball or the domination of The Soviet Union and Canada in hockey,and the best pitcher in the MLB is CC Sabathia who aint American and well the the best Hitters in the game are A Rod,Ichiro Suzuki and Big Papi none of em americans....well that just proves they cant win their own created games as well.....so now we know the reason for the creation of other crappy "sport" events ,like stacking,where they stack cups real fast and in formations and all,and of course the one craze which has hit almost every nation "THE SPELLING BEE"....which was broadcast on ESPN of all channels for a few years till ABC got the rights,you know where a stupid kid comes up and spells real hard words which no one has ever heard off and which no one ever uses,by the way the people who normally win this spelling bee are indian americans.....so there we go
As usual we Indians were not far behind,well actually STB was not far behind,trying to prove that it is a
modern school with a ton of talented and smart kids ,they came up with their own SPELL O MANIA.....which was held first in 2006 i think,i remember K C ,that english freaky maam who would make such crappy pronunciations of words....like ocarina was "oh-kareeena".....so she was one of the judges and heads in creating and organizing the entire competition,there was a prelim where the students were asked to spell out words on a paper and those who got most right would be selected,i didnt get through but a few of me pals did,Chintoo also got through but he was later told that he would have to be the Emcee or host of the FIRST EVER ANNUAL SPELLOMANIA of STB,wow what an honour.....Chintoo couldnt shut up for a couple of days,
Chintoo:I am going to be the host man,i will control the show....
he would go on and on and on and on until some one would shut him up......but that wouldnt be enough to tell him to cut the crap,he would continue later and go on and on.....but the Dark Lord's above and below had a special plan for his bloating and gloating
So as usual the day of he competition came,everyone was excited coz we would get to miss the last 3 periods of the day......yaaaaay.......but only the science students got that privilege,we went into the hall and saw that the teams were already on stage,the 6 houses were all present with 2 representatives for each house.....Rohit was on the stage with the mic getting all prepped up for his day.....and then KC
entered with a few more teachers and Harami Wheatley who as usual started off by saying that we must be quite,not make noise,be respectful....in his fucking pitiful english anglo 'i am so much better and whiter than you guys' tone....fucking randwa.......but as usual we didnt give a fuck to him and as per usual the show /competition started off much later than expected,so Rohit started off his speech....Chintoo[rohit] made the introductions and was using emacculate english,fucking geeko.....so as he is about to start the first round,KC jumps on stage and takes the mic from him and she also makes a crap assed speech,and as rohit is expecting the mic to come back to him,KC starts the competitions....rohit confused just stands on the stage.....while KC does all off the emceeing and all
that.....while Rohit ends up just passing the mic around from one set of contestants to another.......the poor bloke didnt even get a chance to ask one question....while KC was doing all her dramabazee...rohit was just standing in one corner of the stage and passing the mic whenever KC decided to make him a part.......
Rohit did have a closing speech but after the speech he was the joke of the month ,and as you people know me i wouldnt let him off the hook so easily,i mean he had to pay for his gloating...sala waiter ban gaya.....what was the most important thing you did all day???....oh yeah pass the mike....this went on and on and on till one day the "silent assassin" thingy came up thanks to KC again....that is a story for
another day....
We were part of a 2nd Spellomania as well,this time also it hink Rohit was the emcee....but whoever it was he did have more power and control over the show,the only funny bit was when Kaps Baba was asked to spell a word and he got it round and while we were applauding he raised his right hand Nazi style....right infront of our then Princi Fuller....who also looked like a Nazi with his Hitler Moustache.....well i guess thats why Kaps did do it.....just to impress another Nazi.....from one to another i guess....All H-A-I-L............TING!
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