My last post would have given an indication of what is to come in the future, friends be going off to unknown lands, again to explore and learn about themselves and explore the world and expand their horizons.
So it is quite obvious, apart form the sleepover there would be the oh so spectacular night out. Normally confined to the weekend, we decided to move this party along to the greatest day of the week, the new party night , a freaking Monday, that too a monday in which I would have to update my weekly sales binders for the big honchos to see. Nevertheless I decided to take care of that way before our stipulated time to meet, ie 7 PM on the dot. We need more time since we planned to get drunk, or at least Babla, chintoo and Nagu did.
Things never go as planned and sure as hell I get a call in which I am asked to download this huge data dump which would have taken me a whole day.[ still doing it in parts] and I had to give it in 30 minutes, not going to happen I think to myself and I call chintoo to tell him we need to meet later
"Make it 8 PM, its gonna take me some time"
That 8 PM becomes 8:30 and at one time I had resigned myself to not being able to go out for the final drunken escapade for quite a while, my friends come a calling at 8:30, screw work, called the boss and left for an epic night out.
Grabbed a cab with Babla, Chintoo and Nagu and headed off to the favorite destination to get good food,[ especially duck] and cheap booze, Tangra, the chinatown of Calcutta, the ride was a good 30 minutes from my office but as usual the drive is anything but boring with a ton of stories, laughs and abuses flying about from one guy to another.
We reach our beloved Cin Shing restaurant in the middle of Tangra at around 9:15 PM, a desolate place with just the construction of a new flyover and the zooming cars whizzing by that would only provide us any sign of life around for around a kilometer or two.
Now getting to this place, the restaurant was hard, since the entire road was dug up and this moat had formed around the premises, we had to cross over a plank of wood, each scared that their fat ass might collapse the plank and we would end up in the much which would probably have had feces, vomit, urine, and a whole host of bacteria just floating about. Luckily the plank did not snap , I guess since I was praying to the Lord , we made it across is what matters I guess.
We walk in with just another group of guys like us waiting and hogging stuff off another table, taking a table at the corner, the first thing I eye up is the amount of soda or at least the variety of cola drinks they had in the cooler, last time I was here I had around 7 different fizzy drinks, this time I was out to beat my record.
The ordering starts with a ton of prawn chips and chicken fried wontons, while the other guys decide on drinking alcohol, I decide to start my carbonated madness with a bottle of Thumbs Up, the best selling indian soft drink, EVER!, chintoo goes for a fosters, babla and nagu decided to have Blenders Pride while downing a ton of chips and fried nuts, we also ordered the classic Peking Duck and some amazing fried fish with another round of wontons to go about, the food was the king, the alcohol was the mistress and I was there to face the madness.
The person first hit seemed to be babla, which is funny because he normally handles alcohol the best amongst the other 3, laughing hard, screaming out to us that "This is the highest high I have been in a while" and "I have never been this happy being high in a while", of course there is the ever so needed call to his new squeeze saying how much he really loves her and all, alcohol brings out all the secrets in em all.
Rohit also did the same route, called Bhabhiji up, spoke in this hush hush tone, probably about him running away to the US , we also had a chat with Bhabhiji, me being the sober one also acted the most crass by constantly abusing over the phone, not at her but at the other members of our club. Oh and rohit for some reason decided to have 3 beers and chugged em all down one by one, no waiting, then he goes berserk and starts hitting his head and shaking it about like some ants had entered his ear.
Nagu kept and played it cool, not talking much, just drinking, funnily he kept himself in control the best and didn't act freaky like Babla or chintoo did, however its because of him we came up, I came up with the line for the year, while Rohit and Babla are constantly teasing him about his "Kritika" , while I for once tried to reason and take his side, as soon as I said "Nagu......"
He shouts out
"Shut UP ADEEEEEM!!!!"
I tell him " You idiot for once listen to me, either you treat me like an equal in the group or treat me like a muslim", they all start laughing crazy.He still keeps denying he has a soft spot for the girl but finally after being drunk he does reveal that he and her are going to work in the same city, again, if that is not the lord telling him to move in with the girl for life, I don't know what is.
"Line of the night" says Chintoo, agrees Babla and Nagu.
While they keep on drinking, I have my own personal fight with the cold drinks , downed a thumbs up, fanta, sprite, 7 up and a Limca, I finally had to retire with another bottle of Thumbs up.I was so filled with a ton of soft drinks that I did not touch the next round of wontons although I absolutely love em.
While we decide to leave the premise at around 11 PM, something strikes chintoo and he says "Dude, that PLANK!!!!!"
"If I fall into the ditch with the water, do not pick me up and let me die there, DO NOT PICK ME UP, I CANNOT GO BACK IN THAT STATE"
So we climb down the stairs, Nagu has gone ahead of us while I try to take Babla along with me, he constantly abuses me "I don't need help fucking chut, move aside, I can control myself"
Rohit goes on a blitzkrieg and starts hitting me for no reason , we walk slowly towards the end of the road when Nagu shouts out "FAAAAAAKKKK man ADEEEEEEEEMMM"
"What happened?"
Nagu : "Dude those planks..... they are not there anymore, just some bamboo that is all."
me :"Stop fucking around you idiot"
Nagu " I am not joking"
Sure enough, some chuts removed the planks and we were stuck thinking what can we do to move across, luckily or unluckily we saw a pair of bamboo poles tied up above the ground with another on tied around waste high which we could use, Chintoo goes across, so does nagu, Babla is the one we are scared off and Chintoo eggs him on, comforting him he can do it.
Now its my turn, while I gingerly try to come across, Chintoo for some fucked up reason decides, lets have fun with the Musalman and starts shaking the bamboo sticks, I am scuttling across in fear of falling into a ditch while the bastard has a jolly good time laughing at my predicament.
We now have to walk around a kilometer against oncoming traffic going at around 60-70 KMPH and we are not on the pavement since there is no pavement, I am coming along with Babla to make sure nothing happens, he is on an abusing spree, showing everyone the finger, every car he is showing the finger and how he would fuck people, showing the indian F U sign, he pushes me away and wants to walk it alone.
We reach Topsia after a walk and take an auto to Park Circus, Babla loves the wind in his hair and is laughing his arse off for no reason, we get off the auto and now Babla does not want to go back home, its 11: 30 and he is insisting on going somewhere else, then he wants to have something sweeeeeet.
While the other 3 try to find a way back home, Babla vanishes and reappears with chocolates for all, Yay Willy Bonkers is back, abusing all the way infront of the Arsalan restaurant, hell he even wants to have shit ice cream, rohit has an ice cream, in his state of drunkeness he buys a mango ice cream thinking it was orange, while Babla had the same, Nagu and I had the safe chocbar, Babla is still not happy with his sugar intake for the night and buys 4 large Cadbury dairy Milk bars for all of us to have, While I hogged down mine and Rohit's since he did not want to have it, Babla kept his for later.
We took a cab back to Kidderpore, since I had to go home and get to bed for a long day in office, Babla again did not want to go back home, insisting on moving about, then he goes on berserk mode and starts to mouth of obscenities to the cab driver and tries to make him eat the chocolate bar he had kept with himself.
"Nahi, woh boka choda ko khana hoga, I have had enough of them bastards refusing to take us from one point to another"
We pacify him enough , although he does shout of abuses to random people, including police officers, tries to shove his leg outside the window of the car and almost beats nagu up for no reason, oh and I forgot to tell you, right outside the restaurant he tried to climb a lamppost, so there you go, the babla was finally released from his cage.
At a bridge Rohit sees a ton of graffiti and says
"You know how I can tell its the work of an STB student?..... its cause they can't spell for fucks sake"
True that.
When I dropped the 3 off at kidderpore before I took the cab to my place, babla shouts out one more piece of advise
"If the bastard has not had the chocolate yet, don't fucking pay the mother fucker"
Told like a true STB ite against a taxi driver who was wondering whether he would make it back alive or not.
While I thought this would/could have been the last ever night out like this, a pact has been made, every year from now on, ONCE at least once shall all us friends meet up and go on a night of drunken madness for 3 of the people and 1 person just trying to get them all back in 1 piece.
Showing posts with label Drunk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Drunk. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Drinking Buddies
Its time when boys turned into men , now that all of us are working we rarely get a chance to meet each other, the 4 of us , Chintoo, Nagu , Babla and me. Chintoo because he is far away in gujju land for some crazy yet almost right reason he stays in a place called Dahej [dowry] in hindi terms and he had come to Calcutta recently because of his sister's marriage [more on that later].
Babla because he is mostly busy due to his numerous shows spread across India, big superstar he is playing in his band and Nagu because he is an idiot and is always busy with excuses like "thesis" and his wannabe girlfriend whom he says does not like him but still is always with him sharing pads in another city and going around like crazy all the time.
So thanks to the Sista's marriage the 4 of us met up and while the wedding , as every wedding goes, needed a lot of work and we all were very busy with it, meeting relatives, rohit's set of mallu friends and of course Bhabhiji, when everything was done and pushed away the 4 of us had to go for a night out. This night out had to be curtailed since all of us had office or practice or a flight to catch or "thesis", so Babla comes up with the plan to go to Tangra, Calcutta's china town, great food, cheap booze and lots of food options.
We meet up after I got done with office and in our search for a cab we got into a pool car coz cuntish taxi drivers won't go to Tangra coz its too late, its freaking 7:30 PM, the night has just started and they start acting like douches. Well we in the pool car were no worse, screaming, hurling abuses at one another like the world wont end, one typical comment was that " I love xyz girl but you know I do stuff with other girls but I really REALLY love this girl", one bugger retorts "bhai, tu bol yeh kya pyaar hai? ", the third one says " Sorry man, I have never had such love that I love one girl but fuck about with 16 others, aisa pyaar mera kabhi hua nahin"
The drive was long but fun, abuses, shameless acts of indecency, the driver was petrified and was happy to drop us off at the doorstep of the restaurant/bar and drove off like he had his wife expecting a baby in the car.
Babla knew this place well, we could see that as the waiters were all happy seeing him, of course they would be, he is the size of a baby elephant, probably ate like one the last time he was here. The order was given and Babla said "You have to try the duck, its amazing", while the rest of em drank beer, vodka, whiskey etc etc etc, the 4th bugger who wont drink was me, now what to do? I decide time to troll around, I order a thumbs up, after downing half of that I get me a sprite, mix it and whay hay! it looks like a pint of beer,
"Quick take a picture of this, and wait for my family to go all retard on me"
While the prawn chips, wontons and fish dishes were being sent back and forth like a whore being shared by 4 cheap friends, the real star of the night was the duck, thank fuck I had duck, especially the Peking Duck, oh and while the rest of em got a little high from the alcohol, i got high from drinking a thumbs up, a coke, a fanta, a sprite and a 7 up, just missed out on the Limca, told the waiter
"Next time, I will have the rest as well, namely, the Limca, the soda and a bottle of water"
Now when people get drank they gotta do something crazy, Nagu and Babla are proper alcoholics, so after being "alcoholized" they didn't do anything cray, Chintoo on the other hand whips out his cell phone and like last time, calls his "girl" and spends like 30-40 mins just talking to her,when we leave we had to make sure Chintoo came back from the loo, we thought he would drop his cell in the toilet and start speaking to his wiener.
He comes back and we decide to take an auto to go back to Park Circus, while we get into an auto, the auto is stopped before it can move by a guy on a bike, seems the auto driver had bumped into the biker and now he wanted retribution.
While the auto driver maintained his innocence, after around 10 mins of to and fro and being let off, we could see the guilt on his face and his tone of voice, even though all 4 of us were high, the cool breeze and a trippy auto ride is all we needed.
After dropping babla off we set off to return to the lan of Khidderpore, getting off as Rohit and Nagu needed to walk a bit before they got the high out of em, the night was brilliant, no one knows when we may meet like this again and get high, this day we created a new set of names for one another.
"Drinking Buddies
Tipsy Wipsy : Babla
Pukey: Chintoo
Drunkard : Nagu
Musalman : Me, Duh!
Say "Hello"!
"Blaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuu"
Ooooh Pukey did a baaaaad thing"
Babla because he is mostly busy due to his numerous shows spread across India, big superstar he is playing in his band and Nagu because he is an idiot and is always busy with excuses like "thesis" and his wannabe girlfriend whom he says does not like him but still is always with him sharing pads in another city and going around like crazy all the time.
So thanks to the Sista's marriage the 4 of us met up and while the wedding , as every wedding goes, needed a lot of work and we all were very busy with it, meeting relatives, rohit's set of mallu friends and of course Bhabhiji, when everything was done and pushed away the 4 of us had to go for a night out. This night out had to be curtailed since all of us had office or practice or a flight to catch or "thesis", so Babla comes up with the plan to go to Tangra, Calcutta's china town, great food, cheap booze and lots of food options.
We meet up after I got done with office and in our search for a cab we got into a pool car coz cuntish taxi drivers won't go to Tangra coz its too late, its freaking 7:30 PM, the night has just started and they start acting like douches. Well we in the pool car were no worse, screaming, hurling abuses at one another like the world wont end, one typical comment was that " I love xyz girl but you know I do stuff with other girls but I really REALLY love this girl", one bugger retorts "bhai, tu bol yeh kya pyaar hai? ", the third one says " Sorry man, I have never had such love that I love one girl but fuck about with 16 others, aisa pyaar mera kabhi hua nahin"
The drive was long but fun, abuses, shameless acts of indecency, the driver was petrified and was happy to drop us off at the doorstep of the restaurant/bar and drove off like he had his wife expecting a baby in the car.
Babla knew this place well, we could see that as the waiters were all happy seeing him, of course they would be, he is the size of a baby elephant, probably ate like one the last time he was here. The order was given and Babla said "You have to try the duck, its amazing", while the rest of em drank beer, vodka, whiskey etc etc etc, the 4th bugger who wont drink was me, now what to do? I decide time to troll around, I order a thumbs up, after downing half of that I get me a sprite, mix it and whay hay! it looks like a pint of beer,
"Quick take a picture of this, and wait for my family to go all retard on me"
While the prawn chips, wontons and fish dishes were being sent back and forth like a whore being shared by 4 cheap friends, the real star of the night was the duck, thank fuck I had duck, especially the Peking Duck, oh and while the rest of em got a little high from the alcohol, i got high from drinking a thumbs up, a coke, a fanta, a sprite and a 7 up, just missed out on the Limca, told the waiter
"Next time, I will have the rest as well, namely, the Limca, the soda and a bottle of water"
Now when people get drank they gotta do something crazy, Nagu and Babla are proper alcoholics, so after being "alcoholized" they didn't do anything cray, Chintoo on the other hand whips out his cell phone and like last time, calls his "girl" and spends like 30-40 mins just talking to her,when we leave we had to make sure Chintoo came back from the loo, we thought he would drop his cell in the toilet and start speaking to his wiener.
He comes back and we decide to take an auto to go back to Park Circus, while we get into an auto, the auto is stopped before it can move by a guy on a bike, seems the auto driver had bumped into the biker and now he wanted retribution.
While the auto driver maintained his innocence, after around 10 mins of to and fro and being let off, we could see the guilt on his face and his tone of voice, even though all 4 of us were high, the cool breeze and a trippy auto ride is all we needed.
After dropping babla off we set off to return to the lan of Khidderpore, getting off as Rohit and Nagu needed to walk a bit before they got the high out of em, the night was brilliant, no one knows when we may meet like this again and get high, this day we created a new set of names for one another.
"Drinking Buddies
Tipsy Wipsy : Babla
Pukey: Chintoo
Drunkard : Nagu
Musalman : Me, Duh!
Say "Hello"!
"Blaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuu"
Ooooh Pukey did a baaaaad thing"
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Two and a half "high" men
I have often been told that drunks bear their soul out and say whatever comes to their mind, things that are deep inside their heart are also laid out bare to the rest of the world in a heap of realization, laughter, seriousness, empty bottles and glasses , sorrow with just a whiff of alcohol, well not a whiff, more like they put on Eu De Alcohol made by Tommy Hilfiger or something.
When Chintoo came back to calcutta, Babla laid down one day that there would be a booze session one day, with me included in it,Chintoo, babla , Nagu and I accepted, me of course would not touch any more alcohol, that whole vodka thingy was a mistake and God will forgive me for that, well I may burn in hell for all the porno but I sure as hell ain't going down because of booze.
They were to drink and drink a lot, so a plan was made as to which day they would get smashed, that day didn't come as Nagu ran away like a douche to Bangalore for no reason, it was left to the three of us, while I was adamant that I would not drink, babla was all about making me smoke some weed.
"Fucker, If you don't drink YOU HAVE TO SMOKE WEED"
Although I agreed, I knew I wouldn't have any from that man whore, as we call him. On the day we planned to get drunk, Babla as usual did not come on time, to be fair we don't expect him to, he has become a big star ever since India's Got Talent and the fuck all has lost all his sense of time and weight management, looks like a friggin balloon, hell his "squeeze" did not recognize him from some pics which were taken around a year back. Using that line "Babla is pregnant" has become old now, he seems to have a gestation period of like 3 years now.
Getting back to the point, we reached the pub at around 6, but we didn't enter as we thought it was way too early to start, well Rohit thought it was way too early, so off we went to a place I hate a lot and haven't been to in like a year or two, a bookstore, Oxford's, seeing em geeks and nerds there trying to be cool and reading some shit, for once I fell out of place, it was that bad, leaving that place was a relief for me, the last book I read was for a presentation, that too I got the summary online, Chintoo and I did have one moment to remember, we found the rack that contained the erotica, well I found it, pointed it out to chintoo who walked away as usual, especially now since he is committed , no more porno for me amigo ,poor lad.
Next stop was the bar, it was around 7 PM and we expected to get a table, unfortunately all the tables were filled up, hell people were waiting on the others to leave, its friggin 7 and people are out to get drunk, this is my Calcutta.
After waiting a few minutes we finally got the worst table at the pub, but it was still a place to sit, as Chintoo said "We came here to get sloshed, not worry about the seats you chut".
Chintoo had come with a game plan, eat less, drink more, and he started with a Budweiser beer, while I started with a pepsi and a plate of chips, Babla had instructed chintoo to drink slowly and to take his time, I also ordered the Chicken Ala Kiev, for the people not in the know, that is chicken, stuffed with bread, butter and cheese , then deep fried, can't go wrong there, no fucking way. While the kiev took almost 40 minutes to arrive, we dug in on the chips , when the kiev did come and we started hoggin on that, Babla entered looking fat overgrown and pregnant, we are used to seeing him now, wearing an XXXXL shirt to cover his bulge.
While Rohit was all about how the beer was light and gave him a little buzz, the real drunk from our group came up and started with whiskey, 30 mls to start with,here the fun begins, while the first shot was not anything worth talking about barring the fact that Babla was on a solo mission to finish all of the "chanachur " in the pub, at one point of time he was told that the chanachur was finished.
The next set of drinks were 60 ML whiskey shots or whatever they can be called, diluted with water or pepsi, after the 3rd drink things started to get interesting. Chintoo finally drunk called his girl up and spend nearly 20 minutes saying "I love you" and then the next 10 minutes in a drunk state saying "I am sorry, I am sorry".
Babla on the other hand was more worried about making things "Fly" in a weird looney tone. "Adeem, FLYYYYYYYYY, no say it right, FFFFFEEEEEELLLLLLLAAAAAAAIIIIII"
That was the third drink, after the 6th one they were completely out, now as I had said earlier, people say what they keep in their hearts and tell what they see as the truth, some of which I found out are :-
Chintoo says:
"Dude, play the keyboards a lot more, you were good, play em"
"
Dude, I love my girl friend man, truly", awwwwww, bloody wuss
"Babla, in these times kids are getting heart attacks , work out man, fuck no, I will call you out every day and run with you, pact signed, Adeem is the witness"
"Adeem you were the most articulate person in that debate I went with"
"I love you guys, you are always there for me, you guys are my best friends" sans nagu
"I know there will be problems in our friendship but whatever happens we will be together man, always"
"I love your music babla, you guys are great but try to keep steady on one thing and don't shift about"
"I know Adeem is going to make a lot of jokes on us now"
A typical set of statements from one of the brainiest students around and not totally unexpected.
Babla says :
"Adeem, when you said you were not going to drink, I called you a "fucking Chut", but man, Now I respect you and your religion, truly Musalmans will rule the world"
Apocalyptic future ruled by me and my disciples?, it will happen, mark my words
"I am not a man whore!"
"You know adeem, I will fuck one of your in laws, no , don't stop me man, am sorry I know you wont like it, but I will fuck one of your in laws at your marriage, I will, its not a joke"
"Lets all make a vow, that when we get married we will have a bachelors party, each one of us, and by party I mean booze and strippers"
again, another set of typical expected statements from Babla.
After the drinking came the "We need to go home"
This was to be a daunting prospect as I was the "designated take these drunks home sober" guy, while Babla is a fucking drunk with no respect for himself or anyone else, Rohit was warned that he should not come back home clinging to the walls for support, Both of em had to be brought down the stairs as I feared they would fall having no balance.
Leaving the pub, Babla started in all his glory, "I want to have a roll"
"Let me go man, I want to have a roll" He did get his chicken roll, which he says they fucked up, ate half and threw the rest in the dustbin.
Then he started "Chocolate", Ala Spongebob, "CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He got that Cadbury Silk chocolate and I ate more than he did, Rohit did not eat any as he was still following, drink more eat less.
Babla continued by looking for a taxi trying to go to Southern Avenue, now in Calcutta, after 9 PM taxis flatly refuse to go some places, so while he was getting a lot of no's , the drivers were getting the choicest of abuses in any and every language, not even their mother's were spared, while he had no balance or sense, he had that much of an idea to do all this right in front of a cop car.
Rohit on the other hand, spent all this time talking out of his drunk ass to his girl, she had got this other line which was of some professors or something and she was getting quite upset, she even told me to get him home safe and make sure that he calls her tomorrow. Rohit also had the presence of mind to tell me to move babla away from the cop car.
Babla then had started a new vicious attack on the Marwari community , called them mother fuckers, in fact he was going to the roll shop and chocolate shop and shouting obscenities to the said community, he also asked Rohit to ask his girl if they were madar chods or not.
A taxi did agree, and while they got in to get some paan, I did smoke what I told babla I would, I even burnt a hole in my shirt and burnt a part of my jeans and the crappily rolled "fag" fell on my lap, sorry babla but I blamed you for this.
Southern Avenue came and we met Adil, Gujju Jhuthani and Bihari, while they knew Babla as the sad drunk he is, They had never seen Chintoo drunk, to be fair none of us expected chintoo to get drunk ever,while chintoo was feeling crappy and always asking people
"dude do I sound drunk?
I can't go home drunk
shit my dad will kill me"
Gujju and Adil were reassuring him that nothing would happen as chintoo now has a job and is a graduate and all, He IS A MAN!
Babla was in form, abusing gujju, marus, losing his balance, kicking gujju, wanting to eat food and of course "Oh fuck its on fire", the video is posted here.
After half an hour sitting there, chintoo finally puked, he couldn't hold it in much longer and off we went home, I got dropped off first as Babla was now sober enough to go home, while chintoo was falling over in the cab, they reached home safe and sound while plans are being made for the next session, of course this time I will be prepared and of course I wont drink.
Oh yeah the "fag" didn't have much of an effect on me, maybe I didn't take it in properly, but what the hell, I did it, and I probably wont do it again.
as I said , the Video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKXnD-Cea98
When Chintoo came back to calcutta, Babla laid down one day that there would be a booze session one day, with me included in it,Chintoo, babla , Nagu and I accepted, me of course would not touch any more alcohol, that whole vodka thingy was a mistake and God will forgive me for that, well I may burn in hell for all the porno but I sure as hell ain't going down because of booze.
They were to drink and drink a lot, so a plan was made as to which day they would get smashed, that day didn't come as Nagu ran away like a douche to Bangalore for no reason, it was left to the three of us, while I was adamant that I would not drink, babla was all about making me smoke some weed.
"Fucker, If you don't drink YOU HAVE TO SMOKE WEED"
Although I agreed, I knew I wouldn't have any from that man whore, as we call him. On the day we planned to get drunk, Babla as usual did not come on time, to be fair we don't expect him to, he has become a big star ever since India's Got Talent and the fuck all has lost all his sense of time and weight management, looks like a friggin balloon, hell his "squeeze" did not recognize him from some pics which were taken around a year back. Using that line "Babla is pregnant" has become old now, he seems to have a gestation period of like 3 years now.
Getting back to the point, we reached the pub at around 6, but we didn't enter as we thought it was way too early to start, well Rohit thought it was way too early, so off we went to a place I hate a lot and haven't been to in like a year or two, a bookstore, Oxford's, seeing em geeks and nerds there trying to be cool and reading some shit, for once I fell out of place, it was that bad, leaving that place was a relief for me, the last book I read was for a presentation, that too I got the summary online, Chintoo and I did have one moment to remember, we found the rack that contained the erotica, well I found it, pointed it out to chintoo who walked away as usual, especially now since he is committed , no more porno for me amigo ,poor lad.
Next stop was the bar, it was around 7 PM and we expected to get a table, unfortunately all the tables were filled up, hell people were waiting on the others to leave, its friggin 7 and people are out to get drunk, this is my Calcutta.
After waiting a few minutes we finally got the worst table at the pub, but it was still a place to sit, as Chintoo said "We came here to get sloshed, not worry about the seats you chut".
Chintoo had come with a game plan, eat less, drink more, and he started with a Budweiser beer, while I started with a pepsi and a plate of chips, Babla had instructed chintoo to drink slowly and to take his time, I also ordered the Chicken Ala Kiev, for the people not in the know, that is chicken, stuffed with bread, butter and cheese , then deep fried, can't go wrong there, no fucking way. While the kiev took almost 40 minutes to arrive, we dug in on the chips , when the kiev did come and we started hoggin on that, Babla entered looking fat overgrown and pregnant, we are used to seeing him now, wearing an XXXXL shirt to cover his bulge.
While Rohit was all about how the beer was light and gave him a little buzz, the real drunk from our group came up and started with whiskey, 30 mls to start with,here the fun begins, while the first shot was not anything worth talking about barring the fact that Babla was on a solo mission to finish all of the "chanachur " in the pub, at one point of time he was told that the chanachur was finished.
The next set of drinks were 60 ML whiskey shots or whatever they can be called, diluted with water or pepsi, after the 3rd drink things started to get interesting. Chintoo finally drunk called his girl up and spend nearly 20 minutes saying "I love you" and then the next 10 minutes in a drunk state saying "I am sorry, I am sorry".
Babla on the other hand was more worried about making things "Fly" in a weird looney tone. "Adeem, FLYYYYYYYYY, no say it right, FFFFFEEEEEELLLLLLLAAAAAAAIIIIII"
That was the third drink, after the 6th one they were completely out, now as I had said earlier, people say what they keep in their hearts and tell what they see as the truth, some of which I found out are :-
Chintoo says:
"Dude, play the keyboards a lot more, you were good, play em"
"
Dude, I love my girl friend man, truly", awwwwww, bloody wuss
"Babla, in these times kids are getting heart attacks , work out man, fuck no, I will call you out every day and run with you, pact signed, Adeem is the witness"
"Adeem you were the most articulate person in that debate I went with"
"I love you guys, you are always there for me, you guys are my best friends" sans nagu
"I know there will be problems in our friendship but whatever happens we will be together man, always"
"I love your music babla, you guys are great but try to keep steady on one thing and don't shift about"
"I know Adeem is going to make a lot of jokes on us now"
A typical set of statements from one of the brainiest students around and not totally unexpected.
Babla says :
"Adeem, when you said you were not going to drink, I called you a "fucking Chut", but man, Now I respect you and your religion, truly Musalmans will rule the world"
Apocalyptic future ruled by me and my disciples?, it will happen, mark my words
"I am not a man whore!"
"You know adeem, I will fuck one of your in laws, no , don't stop me man, am sorry I know you wont like it, but I will fuck one of your in laws at your marriage, I will, its not a joke"
"Lets all make a vow, that when we get married we will have a bachelors party, each one of us, and by party I mean booze and strippers"
again, another set of typical expected statements from Babla.
After the drinking came the "We need to go home"
This was to be a daunting prospect as I was the "designated take these drunks home sober" guy, while Babla is a fucking drunk with no respect for himself or anyone else, Rohit was warned that he should not come back home clinging to the walls for support, Both of em had to be brought down the stairs as I feared they would fall having no balance.
Leaving the pub, Babla started in all his glory, "I want to have a roll"
"Let me go man, I want to have a roll" He did get his chicken roll, which he says they fucked up, ate half and threw the rest in the dustbin.
Then he started "Chocolate", Ala Spongebob, "CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He got that Cadbury Silk chocolate and I ate more than he did, Rohit did not eat any as he was still following, drink more eat less.
Babla continued by looking for a taxi trying to go to Southern Avenue, now in Calcutta, after 9 PM taxis flatly refuse to go some places, so while he was getting a lot of no's , the drivers were getting the choicest of abuses in any and every language, not even their mother's were spared, while he had no balance or sense, he had that much of an idea to do all this right in front of a cop car.
Rohit on the other hand, spent all this time talking out of his drunk ass to his girl, she had got this other line which was of some professors or something and she was getting quite upset, she even told me to get him home safe and make sure that he calls her tomorrow. Rohit also had the presence of mind to tell me to move babla away from the cop car.
Babla then had started a new vicious attack on the Marwari community , called them mother fuckers, in fact he was going to the roll shop and chocolate shop and shouting obscenities to the said community, he also asked Rohit to ask his girl if they were madar chods or not.
A taxi did agree, and while they got in to get some paan, I did smoke what I told babla I would, I even burnt a hole in my shirt and burnt a part of my jeans and the crappily rolled "fag" fell on my lap, sorry babla but I blamed you for this.
Southern Avenue came and we met Adil, Gujju Jhuthani and Bihari, while they knew Babla as the sad drunk he is, They had never seen Chintoo drunk, to be fair none of us expected chintoo to get drunk ever,while chintoo was feeling crappy and always asking people
"dude do I sound drunk?
I can't go home drunk
shit my dad will kill me"
Gujju and Adil were reassuring him that nothing would happen as chintoo now has a job and is a graduate and all, He IS A MAN!
Babla was in form, abusing gujju, marus, losing his balance, kicking gujju, wanting to eat food and of course "Oh fuck its on fire", the video is posted here.
After half an hour sitting there, chintoo finally puked, he couldn't hold it in much longer and off we went home, I got dropped off first as Babla was now sober enough to go home, while chintoo was falling over in the cab, they reached home safe and sound while plans are being made for the next session, of course this time I will be prepared and of course I wont drink.
Oh yeah the "fag" didn't have much of an effect on me, maybe I didn't take it in properly, but what the hell, I did it, and I probably wont do it again.
as I said , the Video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKXnD-Cea98
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