Everyone gets a gaming orgasm, even the people who aren't the game loving types. There is this infectious game called "Candy Crush Saga" which is the current talk of the town with its simple match making puzzle logic, bright visuals and crazy combos. The game has been tried by most people I know, some of them have played it, gotten lost in it and forgotten what reality is, others, like myself have tried to play it, failed at it and have tried to resume with life without sounding sheepish "I couldn't finish level 34".
One of my colleagues is the Candy Crush Queen, currently on something like level 300. We crack jokes in office that her KRA consists of completing all the 600+ levels of the game before this year ends. She is one crazy girl and is constantly asking people for "lives" to continue playing the game so that she can progress further. Of course her taunts continue to jab us as to how we are stuck in xyz level or how people gave up so easily without even trying, let her try playing Fifa on Legendary and beating a team 5-0 constantly but I digress.
Recently she got an idea from yours truly about how she can use her candy crushing saga to better use. You see an aunt of mine had jumped on the Farmville bandwagon. That farming game which had everyone sowing crops and trying to grow plants online rather than in reality. My aunt made around 40 K from this plant that she started sharing with people so that they could grow their crops faster or some shit like that, so now my colleague decides to do the same, help the poor little souls stuck in some level and help them clear it.
So one day in office another colleague pops in and hands her a large Cadbury Silk chocolate for helping her clear the level, which is very good and all. However little miss candy decides to taunt Manish and me constantly telling people that she is going to have "silk" and how she wont share etc etc etc. Not to be outdone , Manish challenges her that he will take the Silk from her and she wont have a damn clue about it. Challenge accepted by the Queen of the Candy.
So she stores it, of course before flaunting it to us, in her drawer and she nicely locks it and keeps on saying that we can't do anything about it. Manish and I just keep staring at each other and the drawer, we know there will be this one window of opportunity for us to strike and when that chance comes by the power of Grey Skull we will strike.
After a little while she goes off to do some work and we strike, you see our office drawers aren't the safest place to keep anything. They can easily be opened by some other key, so while the other colleagues in our floor stare at us, I coolly pick up my key and try to jig her drawer open but it doesn't work. "Does another key actually work? Is it really going to work" are overheard, I next take Manish's key and hey ho!
I open the freaking drawer, take out the huge chocolate bar, lock her drawer and as soon as I had over the chocolate to Manish the Candy Queen sees it and starts screaming at us. Everyone on our floor freaks out and now she starts chasing Manish, who tries to hide it in his locker (which is safer). She almost pushes him into the drawer set which could have let to a massive injury, he somehow survives falling and runs away, ultimately he takes the chocolate and runs to the men's washroom and tries to hide it in a duct. I tell him to give it back before she goes all berserk and brings the entire floor down. We try to sneak out of the washroom and SHE is standing there waiting for us to give it back which we do.
The next few minutes are filled with laughter and a gentle reminder never to challenge us, she keeps on repeating "You won't get any chocolate from this" we calmly say "We don't need the chocolate, we needed to make a point and we have done that".
At the end of the day she did share the chocolate with us, this being the second time this candy queen decided to mock us and our abilities, I hope she has learned not to challenge or doubt our abilities.
Once bitten, twice shy?
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Saturday, September 21, 2013
5 Point Maaza
There was a small girl stuck in a dark desolate place which was eating her soul and bringing in misery that she never expected to come and be a part of the life she was leading. A change in guard had completely destroyed her happiness and had taken away all the joy that was within her.
Her only ray of hope was the small lunch box provided at the dungeon which kept her chained. Till now she had been accepting the crummy fruits from one evil lord which was owning all the orchards, the hero came in the form of the "Orgapure", a hero so pure that not even the slightest hint of non vegetarian food was to be provided and the icing on the cake of the entire ordering circle was the presence of the sweet heavenly nectar called Maaza, you know the Aamsutra which Katrina so sexually advertises, ok so thats for Slice but you get the picture.
So we both order our fruit boxes from Orgapure, yes I can't continue the Game of throne -esque structure anymore. I took the option of taking up Orgapure not because I want to eat veg food in office but rather the fact that they have the best fruits around, I carry my food from my home nowadays, this lady however wanted to take the box just for the fact that the Maaza was being presented to her. A point she made, repeatedly to me and Manish,
"Next week I will be having maaza"
"Manish, Maaza time"
"Karim & Manish, maaza aayega next week se"
She kept on harping about it like the day would not end until we made her gulp down a gallon of maaza. It was left to the two of us to make sure things didn't go over the top.
Day 1
As usual our lunch boxes came and the orgapure boxes come the earliest, eagerly I open the box in hope for the maaza , lo and behold, fate is a cruel, cruel thing. No maaza at all , instead they had this mango delicacy which I can't remember. It was like a preserve of the mango, a cross between a jam and a pickle, anyways a fellow football fan was gobbling it up ,Suva, not giving a damn as to what was going about.
She on the other hand was going crazy as to why she did not get the maaza, cursing our souls since she believed we had something to do with it and that we had taken the maaza away, cross our hearts and souls ,manish and I had nothing to do with it.
Not that she was going to listen to it and she still blamed us throughout lunch that we had jinxed the arrival of the Maaza, we on the other hand told her that she had jinxed it thanks to the continuous love affair for the maaza.
Day one, Maaza 1 Girl 0
Day 2
The food boxes come in and she is away doing some work. I have a peek into my box and I find that there is a maaza drink pouch in it, quick as a flash, I give my pack to the MR girl in the office Enakshi, to hide it and then I take the other Maaza and Manish hides it away from plain slight. Coolly I fix her disturbed box to make sure she doesn't get a clue as to what has transpired.
She comes back and opens the box and instantly she sees something is a miss, she then does the exact thing that I expected her to. She tries to open my fruit box and also finds the maaza missing.
She then screams out our names like we had done the biggest crime in the world. Blaming us for taking the maaza, "I know you guys have taken it, give it back!". While we are giggling away and claiming that we did not take it. This blame game goes on for 10 minutes , while we finish one maaza while she is piercing us with a stare that someone would give to someone who has just shot their beloved.
We finally do relent and give her the maaza.
She then says "Now I will sit here between 12:30 PM and 1: 30 PM to make sure you guys dont take my maaza"
Challenge accepted
Us 1 Girl -1
Day 3
Again our food box comes at around 12:45, she is acting like a cop on a crime scene, constantly searching for suspects. I open my box and we start bursting out in laughter.
No maaza today also, they gave that preservative and while she starts thinking that we are somehow responsible for the situation, its anything but and all the folks on our floor have a hearty laugh.
The constant torrent of jokes on the both of us by the girl in the last week seems to have created a sort of jinx on her, she just was not getting the maaza she needs and well the one she doesn't deserve.
Us 2 Girl -1
Day 4
The vigil is set, she sits patiently for the drink of her choice to come, while she has kept the box in front of her she was busy on the phone with her better half. We sneak a peek at what drink has come in the box.
Great scots! Its freaking Appy Fizz, that crazy bubbly apple drink. Mo fucking hell, we now had to do something. She had already taken out the Fizz and kept it beside her, while she was busy talking to Mr Special, I calmly walk up to her desk, act like I am searching for some file and slyly take away the Fizz. Hidden from her eyes, we go back to our normal work.
When she is done with the call, she screams out in anger, WHO TOOK MY APPY FIZZ?
I KNOW ITS MANISH OR KARIM! I KNOW!!!!!!!!
You know that Batman dialogue, SWEAR TO ME! when he is interrogating a suspect while he is hanging upside down, I think it was detective Flass, this was almost the same line she was using to get the details out of us. Everyone is office is having a good laugh, we are trying to keep out cool and deny that we have any wrong doing, we even state that she was keeping watch over the stuff and how could she have let it get out of her sight.
She took Manish' cell phone as a part of an exchange but that didn't deter us, we still maintained we haven't done anything, again after a lot of relenting we decided to give her back the drink. Taught her a lesson about bloating we did, so much for the "vigil" that she tried to keep.
Us 3 Girl -1
Day 5
We had planned to take the pranking to a whole new level. We were thinking of asking the delivery boys to give us the boxes first so that we can empty her carton of the drink and keep the empty carton inside, that would have really started a fire.
Fortunately that event never transpired. Again the Orgapure guys decided to give that mango preserve, so the final score for the week turned out.
Us 4 Girl -1
She did learn a few lessons though, not to bloat big, not to act like she can pwn us with regard to pranking and not to scream and shout about the drink in her lunch box.
This week was done, Next week its going to start all over again.
Yaari Dosti Taaza Maaza
Her only ray of hope was the small lunch box provided at the dungeon which kept her chained. Till now she had been accepting the crummy fruits from one evil lord which was owning all the orchards, the hero came in the form of the "Orgapure", a hero so pure that not even the slightest hint of non vegetarian food was to be provided and the icing on the cake of the entire ordering circle was the presence of the sweet heavenly nectar called Maaza, you know the Aamsutra which Katrina so sexually advertises, ok so thats for Slice but you get the picture.
So we both order our fruit boxes from Orgapure, yes I can't continue the Game of throne -esque structure anymore. I took the option of taking up Orgapure not because I want to eat veg food in office but rather the fact that they have the best fruits around, I carry my food from my home nowadays, this lady however wanted to take the box just for the fact that the Maaza was being presented to her. A point she made, repeatedly to me and Manish,
"Next week I will be having maaza"
"Manish, Maaza time"
"Karim & Manish, maaza aayega next week se"
She kept on harping about it like the day would not end until we made her gulp down a gallon of maaza. It was left to the two of us to make sure things didn't go over the top.
Day 1
As usual our lunch boxes came and the orgapure boxes come the earliest, eagerly I open the box in hope for the maaza , lo and behold, fate is a cruel, cruel thing. No maaza at all , instead they had this mango delicacy which I can't remember. It was like a preserve of the mango, a cross between a jam and a pickle, anyways a fellow football fan was gobbling it up ,Suva, not giving a damn as to what was going about.
She on the other hand was going crazy as to why she did not get the maaza, cursing our souls since she believed we had something to do with it and that we had taken the maaza away, cross our hearts and souls ,manish and I had nothing to do with it.
Not that she was going to listen to it and she still blamed us throughout lunch that we had jinxed the arrival of the Maaza, we on the other hand told her that she had jinxed it thanks to the continuous love affair for the maaza.
Day one, Maaza 1 Girl 0
Day 2
The food boxes come in and she is away doing some work. I have a peek into my box and I find that there is a maaza drink pouch in it, quick as a flash, I give my pack to the MR girl in the office Enakshi, to hide it and then I take the other Maaza and Manish hides it away from plain slight. Coolly I fix her disturbed box to make sure she doesn't get a clue as to what has transpired.
She comes back and opens the box and instantly she sees something is a miss, she then does the exact thing that I expected her to. She tries to open my fruit box and also finds the maaza missing.
She then screams out our names like we had done the biggest crime in the world. Blaming us for taking the maaza, "I know you guys have taken it, give it back!". While we are giggling away and claiming that we did not take it. This blame game goes on for 10 minutes , while we finish one maaza while she is piercing us with a stare that someone would give to someone who has just shot their beloved.
We finally do relent and give her the maaza.
She then says "Now I will sit here between 12:30 PM and 1: 30 PM to make sure you guys dont take my maaza"
Challenge accepted
Us 1 Girl -1
Day 3
Again our food box comes at around 12:45, she is acting like a cop on a crime scene, constantly searching for suspects. I open my box and we start bursting out in laughter.
No maaza today also, they gave that preservative and while she starts thinking that we are somehow responsible for the situation, its anything but and all the folks on our floor have a hearty laugh.
The constant torrent of jokes on the both of us by the girl in the last week seems to have created a sort of jinx on her, she just was not getting the maaza she needs and well the one she doesn't deserve.
Us 2 Girl -1
Day 4
The vigil is set, she sits patiently for the drink of her choice to come, while she has kept the box in front of her she was busy on the phone with her better half. We sneak a peek at what drink has come in the box.
Great scots! Its freaking Appy Fizz, that crazy bubbly apple drink. Mo fucking hell, we now had to do something. She had already taken out the Fizz and kept it beside her, while she was busy talking to Mr Special, I calmly walk up to her desk, act like I am searching for some file and slyly take away the Fizz. Hidden from her eyes, we go back to our normal work.
When she is done with the call, she screams out in anger, WHO TOOK MY APPY FIZZ?
I KNOW ITS MANISH OR KARIM! I KNOW!!!!!!!!
You know that Batman dialogue, SWEAR TO ME! when he is interrogating a suspect while he is hanging upside down, I think it was detective Flass, this was almost the same line she was using to get the details out of us. Everyone is office is having a good laugh, we are trying to keep out cool and deny that we have any wrong doing, we even state that she was keeping watch over the stuff and how could she have let it get out of her sight.
She took Manish' cell phone as a part of an exchange but that didn't deter us, we still maintained we haven't done anything, again after a lot of relenting we decided to give her back the drink. Taught her a lesson about bloating we did, so much for the "vigil" that she tried to keep.
Us 3 Girl -1
Day 5
We had planned to take the pranking to a whole new level. We were thinking of asking the delivery boys to give us the boxes first so that we can empty her carton of the drink and keep the empty carton inside, that would have really started a fire.
Fortunately that event never transpired. Again the Orgapure guys decided to give that mango preserve, so the final score for the week turned out.
Us 4 Girl -1
She did learn a few lessons though, not to bloat big, not to act like she can pwn us with regard to pranking and not to scream and shout about the drink in her lunch box.
This week was done, Next week its going to start all over again.
Yaari Dosti Taaza Maaza
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Picture Perfect
I remember being a small kid and going for a ton of holidays with my parents. Those days were simple, no mobile phones, no computers and certainly no invasive flashes where people tried to take random photographs. My dad would hand me that old Minolta/Kodak camera, check how many photos could be taken from the roll of film and tell me to be careful while taking the snap.
Looking back at the 10 or so albums which have been filled with photographs, each photograph actually had a story behind it, from the time I sat at the wheel of a bus (was 3 years old) to this beautiful glorious photo where my Grandma and I are enjoying some jam sandwiches sitting on some of brown autumn leaves.
Taking a photograph had a meaning back then, unlike now where I feel like I have entered a crazy nightclub or am walking down the red carpet at the Oscar's with the number of flashes going off thanks to them damn mobile phones. I have a strict "No photograph " policy, I do not take photographs of the people I go with unless of course we meet up after a long time, like my college buddies who meet up once or twice in a year, that is a memorable time because well its only twice in a year that 5 freaks meet up for some real madness.
Of course the policy extends to no one taking my photo also, my dad loves this policy and he makes sure he takes a couple of photos wherever I go with him, sometimes I feel his only task in life (especially when I go out with my parents) is to troll me. His propensity for taking my photographs is directly proportional to how pissed my reaction is when he asks me if he can take my photo. The more I get pissed, more are the number of photos he takes.
The other thing I always get lambasted on by my parents is when I decide to take a few snaps, especially during those holidays. Now I prefer taking photos of the scenic beauty around me, no , not the bikini clad women but the natural beauty around us. The sand dunes and the sunset after our desert safari in Dubai, or the beautiful monasteries in Bangkok or the huge Shiv Temple ( I could be wrong with the temple , sorry about that) in Malaysia. Great structures are the thing that I like capturing on my cell, so when we go back to the hotel my parents ask me to show the photos I clicked throughout the day. Then comes the barrage of why do I take such shitty pictures, why is it that the pictures don't have people in them, why is it always the structures etc which come in your photos?. Its like that because that's what a photograph should be, a picture is worth a thousand words and instead of having people in it , it should have something to talk about, sometimes this whole "pose in front of x" seems a ruse to prove to people that you actually have been to this place.
If you can't accept that I have gone to x/z place, then you better not ask for me to show the holiday pictures. This again is one of the things which I dread. Especially if I ever go to relatives place who has just come back from the trip and they want to show the pictures. If I want to see the pictures I will ask about them, you do not have to show them to me in hope of winning the 10000$ prize on some game show. I don't show my holiday pics to people either, unless of course they ask for it and then they moan about how "people" are missing from the photos. Really?
Looking back at the 10 or so albums which have been filled with photographs, each photograph actually had a story behind it, from the time I sat at the wheel of a bus (was 3 years old) to this beautiful glorious photo where my Grandma and I are enjoying some jam sandwiches sitting on some of brown autumn leaves.
Taking a photograph had a meaning back then, unlike now where I feel like I have entered a crazy nightclub or am walking down the red carpet at the Oscar's with the number of flashes going off thanks to them damn mobile phones. I have a strict "No photograph " policy, I do not take photographs of the people I go with unless of course we meet up after a long time, like my college buddies who meet up once or twice in a year, that is a memorable time because well its only twice in a year that 5 freaks meet up for some real madness.
Of course the policy extends to no one taking my photo also, my dad loves this policy and he makes sure he takes a couple of photos wherever I go with him, sometimes I feel his only task in life (especially when I go out with my parents) is to troll me. His propensity for taking my photographs is directly proportional to how pissed my reaction is when he asks me if he can take my photo. The more I get pissed, more are the number of photos he takes.
The other thing I always get lambasted on by my parents is when I decide to take a few snaps, especially during those holidays. Now I prefer taking photos of the scenic beauty around me, no , not the bikini clad women but the natural beauty around us. The sand dunes and the sunset after our desert safari in Dubai, or the beautiful monasteries in Bangkok or the huge Shiv Temple ( I could be wrong with the temple , sorry about that) in Malaysia. Great structures are the thing that I like capturing on my cell, so when we go back to the hotel my parents ask me to show the photos I clicked throughout the day. Then comes the barrage of why do I take such shitty pictures, why is it that the pictures don't have people in them, why is it always the structures etc which come in your photos?. Its like that because that's what a photograph should be, a picture is worth a thousand words and instead of having people in it , it should have something to talk about, sometimes this whole "pose in front of x" seems a ruse to prove to people that you actually have been to this place.
If you can't accept that I have gone to x/z place, then you better not ask for me to show the holiday pictures. This again is one of the things which I dread. Especially if I ever go to relatives place who has just come back from the trip and they want to show the pictures. If I want to see the pictures I will ask about them, you do not have to show them to me in hope of winning the 10000$ prize on some game show. I don't show my holiday pics to people either, unless of course they ask for it and then they moan about how "people" are missing from the photos. Really?
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