A long time back when we[people close to my age] were young ,people who would act nuts were simply called nuts.A person who acted freaky would get labelled "mad" by the other family members and were told quite strenly to "stay away from so and so"...."dont talk to them much" and the whole shebang was on.People would avoid meeting that said "mad" person,and they would just be left alone away from all the hastle of family meetings and the sort of thing that makes you wonder if a family and its members are all that they are cracked up to be.
But now in this modern day and age everything is changing and so rapidly,i mean people who are not even close to mental problems...and when i mean mental problems i mean serious ones ,are getting pyschiatric help for small ridiculous problems like being overweight or even the great "depression",dont get me started on the depression thingy,a person is so so sad that he is suffering from depression and he needs help from a shrink,for fucks sake,when i was unhappy my parents would go like
"why are you sad?"
i would reply "aww nothing "
"yeah it better be nothing...or else"
that "or else" would scare the shit out of...which most of the time meant a great deal of shouting and rebuke thrown all over me,not to mention a beating once in a while,the beatings did stop after class 7 though,but they sure as hell made me a decent respectful member of society....well it actually hasnt done any of it.
Of course the good old days were miles better,life was oh so simple,you had freinds and thats it,there wasnt "love" or "hate" or "unhappiness",life was so simple that the most enjoyable thing in the world was just going out in the open and fooling around with a few more kids,we didnt have to think of the "future" ,our future or someone else's,we had no pressure to do well in school,ok most indians did have that pressure,i did as well but that pressure wasnt as severe as it is nowadays.There also wasnt the so called love problem which thanks to the raging hormones inside any teen cause a ton of tension,and of course there wasnt the addiction to pornography,come on all of you have got that bug sometime or another, dont fucking lie.
Nothing much has changed in my behaviour though over the past couple of dacades,yes i am 2 decades old now,sheesh with one single grey hair which everyone seems to notice somehow,oh and the acne ,man oh man what i wouldnt give to have a clean,clear spotless face.Back to me behavior,most of my friends are crazy and abusive and we personally dont give a shit to the public surrounding us,we constantly abuse and curse,but most people dont get em.
There are a few plus sides to growing old of course,i mean my parents dont haul me up anymore about my colourful language,neither do they say anything anymore to me watching porn,i have been caught a lotta time .....guess they have just given up on me.Some things are still there like a night curfew or the fact that i must let me parents know where i am going in advance and all but thats just a minor price to pay for unlimited abusing and the sort.
The most important thing i must tell out now is that in a few years time i will be out working and such and i probably will become everything that i hate,grouchy,busy,working,i would probably have no fun,no free time,wouldnt be able to abuse,meeting with friends would get reduced,i would have to start being accountable for my actions ,be more respectful,be more logical,be more attentive,be more energetic,be more useful.
But.......
Most people say that as you age you gain maturity,well i have aged from a stupid idiotic toddler who would say stupid things to a 20 year old guy who still says stupid things,i have matured from a kid who when he first learnt a few bengali words would use em everytime for no rhyme or reason at all...to a guy who learns abusive words of different languages not really caring bout the actual language,DragonBall Z is still one of me favorite cartoons,so are Dexter's Lab ,I Am Weasel and the rest of the amazing Cartoon Cartoons and of course my relationships with girls hasnt changed much,cept for that one girl who we all know about,so all in all i havent actually matured even one bit in 20 years and may i live like this all my life
PS3,Music,Porno,Football,Friends,KFC what else does a guy need?
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
Goooooaaaaaaalllllllll
Now it wont take a rocket scientist to guess what this blog will be about,its about me love for football,the game which is played by most people in the world,the International body FIFA has around 150+ members,which is the most by any sports body in the world,the fact that really pisses me off is that apart from cricket no sport in India gets any support at all,in hockey we were gold winners 8 times in the Olympics,but we failed to qualify in the 2008 Olympics,hell we the India football team were invited to play in the 1950 Fifa world cup,but we didnt go to the event coz we didnt have no shoes....and that is a fact not a made up story.....its true
Back to the point,football is the one sport i watch any time i get,any team,any league will do[European mostly]....and the one club that i support more than any other club is of course Liverpool Fc which most of you should have known by now,for those numbnuts who dont know a thing bout us
1:Liverpool is the most successful English Club in terms for Winning the League 18 times but we are now tied with Malchoda Utd who also have 18 now
2:Liverpool is the most successful English club in Europe with 5 Champions league Titles....yes more than Malchoda,More than Chelshit[they havent won any european cups] and Arsenal
so again as you all should know i support my club through thick and thin.....no nonsense of switching clucs like chintoo did...i know you changed your allegiances from Manure to chelshit coz of the money.....so every time there is a liverpool game on the emotions run riot and i end up abusing,celebrating or just pissing people off....here are the top celebrations done in the past few years
1:Liverpool 1-0 Chelsea [2003 Premier league]
Michael 'Judas' Owen scored in the 90th minute
One of those games where i was thinking that the goal would just not come,but it did come in the 90th minute and i was so freaking happy i started jumpin and screaming and shouting at the top of me voice on me old rickety bed which was quite fragile....this i did at around 10:30 pm which was late nite at that time not anymore....so a crack is heard....next thing i know my dad comes running in me room and finds me sandwiched between a mattress and a lotta plywood
2:AC Milan 3-3 Liverpool [2005 champions league final]
We won the game 4-3 on Pens after trailing 3-0 at halftime...the greatest comeback in history probably
All Liverpool fans remember this one...that amazing night in Istanbul,its only us the Liverpool fans who thought maybe we can win this after Milan ripped us apart and were leading and cruising at halftime 3-0...i remember me friends askin me the next day
"By how many did Milan win"
i replied "We won on Penalties.....fuck yeah....fuck fuck fuck"
they didnt watch the entire game coz they thought the match was over
so rite after Dudek saved Shevchenko's penalty cue the dancing and celebrating,[no shouting this time...i was warned]...but since i was sleeping on the floor....coz me bed was broken...i slipped and hit my head on my desk....i started seeing more stars than a boxer who got punched by Iron Mike Tyson
3:West 3-3 Liverpool[2006 FA Cup final]
We win again on Pens
Stevie G scores probably one of the best and greatest FA cup goals in the 94th minute
i remember i was shifting and taking stuff from me old flat to me new one and i had to keep tabs on the score from a pal of mine....and when i heard that we won the Cup i was screaming and shouting and me dad was like
"what the hell is wrong why are you shouting? its just a football game"
i replied
"thats the passion dad...you wont understand you manure supporter"
4:Manchester UTD 1-4 Liverpool [March 2009]
A hammering at OLd trafford
the day when we raped our greatest and most hated rivals crap u at old trafford....i was watching the game with a manure pal of mine 'manko' and when Gaynaldo scored from a pen i was like "oh no here we go again" but then Torres made Vidic look like his bitch and Vander sar was licking his own gaad [ass]......stevie made evra his bitch got a pen and kissed the Badge and the camera....amazing...Fabulous Aurelio scored a majestic free kick and just to spice things up Nemanja Bitch itch was sent off.....and to rub salt into the festering wound...our 3rd choice Left back playing as a winger scored a goal looping the ball over Vander gaaars head....and i was abusing and making fun of manko so much that he left before the final whistle blew...and he vowed never to come to watch a manu game at my place.......
5:Fulham 0-1 Liverpool [March 2009]
Benny scores again at the death
While we hammered away at Fulham ,hitting the post 3 times in the game it was a feeling of deja vu,thinking we would not win the game...but Benny popped up and scored again at the death 94th minute...it was like 1:30 Am over here and me dad popped into me room to charge up his cell phone as soon as Benny scored i jumped up and started screaming and shouting and abusing away...all this while holding my dad
Me dad learnt a lesson and now never NEVER comes into me room while a football game is on!
Back to the point,football is the one sport i watch any time i get,any team,any league will do[European mostly]....and the one club that i support more than any other club is of course Liverpool Fc which most of you should have known by now,for those numbnuts who dont know a thing bout us
1:Liverpool is the most successful English Club in terms for Winning the League 18 times but we are now tied with Malchoda Utd who also have 18 now
2:Liverpool is the most successful English club in Europe with 5 Champions league Titles....yes more than Malchoda,More than Chelshit[they havent won any european cups] and Arsenal
so again as you all should know i support my club through thick and thin.....no nonsense of switching clucs like chintoo did...i know you changed your allegiances from Manure to chelshit coz of the money.....so every time there is a liverpool game on the emotions run riot and i end up abusing,celebrating or just pissing people off....here are the top celebrations done in the past few years
1:Liverpool 1-0 Chelsea [2003 Premier league]
Michael 'Judas' Owen scored in the 90th minute
One of those games where i was thinking that the goal would just not come,but it did come in the 90th minute and i was so freaking happy i started jumpin and screaming and shouting at the top of me voice on me old rickety bed which was quite fragile....this i did at around 10:30 pm which was late nite at that time not anymore....so a crack is heard....next thing i know my dad comes running in me room and finds me sandwiched between a mattress and a lotta plywood
2:AC Milan 3-3 Liverpool [2005 champions league final]
We won the game 4-3 on Pens after trailing 3-0 at halftime...the greatest comeback in history probably
All Liverpool fans remember this one...that amazing night in Istanbul,its only us the Liverpool fans who thought maybe we can win this after Milan ripped us apart and were leading and cruising at halftime 3-0...i remember me friends askin me the next day
"By how many did Milan win"
i replied "We won on Penalties.....fuck yeah....fuck fuck fuck"
they didnt watch the entire game coz they thought the match was over
so rite after Dudek saved Shevchenko's penalty cue the dancing and celebrating,[no shouting this time...i was warned]...but since i was sleeping on the floor....coz me bed was broken...i slipped and hit my head on my desk....i started seeing more stars than a boxer who got punched by Iron Mike Tyson
3:West 3-3 Liverpool[2006 FA Cup final]
We win again on Pens
Stevie G scores probably one of the best and greatest FA cup goals in the 94th minute
i remember i was shifting and taking stuff from me old flat to me new one and i had to keep tabs on the score from a pal of mine....and when i heard that we won the Cup i was screaming and shouting and me dad was like
"what the hell is wrong why are you shouting? its just a football game"
i replied
"thats the passion dad...you wont understand you manure supporter"
4:Manchester UTD 1-4 Liverpool [March 2009]
A hammering at OLd trafford
the day when we raped our greatest and most hated rivals crap u at old trafford....i was watching the game with a manure pal of mine 'manko' and when Gaynaldo scored from a pen i was like "oh no here we go again" but then Torres made Vidic look like his bitch and Vander sar was licking his own gaad [ass]......stevie made evra his bitch got a pen and kissed the Badge and the camera....amazing...Fabulous Aurelio scored a majestic free kick and just to spice things up Nemanja Bitch itch was sent off.....and to rub salt into the festering wound...our 3rd choice Left back playing as a winger scored a goal looping the ball over Vander gaaars head....and i was abusing and making fun of manko so much that he left before the final whistle blew...and he vowed never to come to watch a manu game at my place.......
5:Fulham 0-1 Liverpool [March 2009]
Benny scores again at the death
While we hammered away at Fulham ,hitting the post 3 times in the game it was a feeling of deja vu,thinking we would not win the game...but Benny popped up and scored again at the death 94th minute...it was like 1:30 Am over here and me dad popped into me room to charge up his cell phone as soon as Benny scored i jumped up and started screaming and shouting and abusing away...all this while holding my dad
Me dad learnt a lesson and now never NEVER comes into me room while a football game is on!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Gujju Che che
Before i start this rant i want to make one thing clear.....i dont hate gujjus or any other caste creed etc....i just like making fun of them coz they deserve it,people make fun of others behind their backs ,i like to do it when they are the audience....so dont go all UN and all on my ass and call me a rascist.....
i hate everyone equally.....even myself.....and so i begin
I know a ton of gujjus,the problem is they seem to be everywhere in this world,they and biharis of course,time and time again i find them invading my space and all.....i mean in school what was the probability of finding gujjus in Calcutta near kidderpore in probably the most rowdy school of all time....that when they have a proper gujju school/college in calcutta ,Bhaggu as people call it...and of course they had La Marts which is like a gujju haven.....but in me class i had around 3-4 gujjus...who all were nice...but they were freaks...which is actually a requisite to be a student of STB.
I remember Bhaveen Jhutani,a teacher called him Bhavani Jawanee....or was that us....no wait we used to call him Kutta Bhawanee,or even better Jhutanee....the dude is/was a great bass player....but that bit is overshadowed by his "gujjuness"....relating to stupid behaviour and crazy assed gestures and all,which have to be seen to be believed......then of course then was Harsh Niket Seta har baap ka beta.....but this guy was mellow not like the typical gujjus .....he was the nice guy actually in school...didnt ever cross no one or say shit or anything like that at all.....
of course they are not the only gujjus i have met in me life....and they obviously arent even close to the reason why i do make fun gujjus....actually bhaveen is a reason....another pal i met is sanket in college....and he is gujju personafied.....paisa paisa paisa.....thats more or less what he can think about
i remember in me first year o college how much he wanted me sandy and nikhil to join that stupid money laundering scheme ebizz.....fucking carzy assed scheme it was too other than that he is a good guy cept he has low tolerance levels of anything and is very and i mean very violent....but for some reason he keeps on sayin "i am not violent"
speaking of speaking....another thing is the accent....where they seem to close their noses while trying to speak ....its like a himesh song or something like that......of course all the indian states and their residents have their own accents so i cant just rip of the gujjus alone but the real reason i have to rip on em gujjus is that 50% of chix i have ever fallen for were gujju....sneha vakharia and ronica jethwa....God damn em caused me so much trauma and tension and pain....i dont
think i can fall for a chick ever again...cept of course if they are SUPER HOT and by super hot i mean meltdown...as in i will melt into a liquid seeing them,their body temperature is so fucking high that all objects around em will melt and liquify....and then the liquids will evaporate.....the chick has to be so hot
that a mirage can be seen some distance away from the chick coz she is so hot....
and of course my forte is pissing people off so how do you piss off a gujju?
the credit here must go to babla who came up with an innovative Q+A
Q:How do you spell gujju?
A:M-a-d-a-r-c-h-o-d
of course there is a mellow version of this which i use
Q:How do you spell gujju?
A:zhe-you-zhe-zhe-you
i hate everyone equally.....even myself.....and so i begin
I know a ton of gujjus,the problem is they seem to be everywhere in this world,they and biharis of course,time and time again i find them invading my space and all.....i mean in school what was the probability of finding gujjus in Calcutta near kidderpore in probably the most rowdy school of all time....that when they have a proper gujju school/college in calcutta ,Bhaggu as people call it...and of course they had La Marts which is like a gujju haven.....but in me class i had around 3-4 gujjus...who all were nice...but they were freaks...which is actually a requisite to be a student of STB.
I remember Bhaveen Jhutani,a teacher called him Bhavani Jawanee....or was that us....no wait we used to call him Kutta Bhawanee,or even better Jhutanee....the dude is/was a great bass player....but that bit is overshadowed by his "gujjuness"....relating to stupid behaviour and crazy assed gestures and all,which have to be seen to be believed......then of course then was Harsh Niket Seta har baap ka beta.....but this guy was mellow not like the typical gujjus .....he was the nice guy actually in school...didnt ever cross no one or say shit or anything like that at all.....
of course they are not the only gujjus i have met in me life....and they obviously arent even close to the reason why i do make fun gujjus....actually bhaveen is a reason....another pal i met is sanket in college....and he is gujju personafied.....paisa paisa paisa.....thats more or less what he can think about
i remember in me first year o college how much he wanted me sandy and nikhil to join that stupid money laundering scheme ebizz.....fucking carzy assed scheme it was too other than that he is a good guy cept he has low tolerance levels of anything and is very and i mean very violent....but for some reason he keeps on sayin "i am not violent"
speaking of speaking....another thing is the accent....where they seem to close their noses while trying to speak ....its like a himesh song or something like that......of course all the indian states and their residents have their own accents so i cant just rip of the gujjus alone but the real reason i have to rip on em gujjus is that 50% of chix i have ever fallen for were gujju....sneha vakharia and ronica jethwa....God damn em caused me so much trauma and tension and pain....i dont
think i can fall for a chick ever again...cept of course if they are SUPER HOT and by super hot i mean meltdown...as in i will melt into a liquid seeing them,their body temperature is so fucking high that all objects around em will melt and liquify....and then the liquids will evaporate.....the chick has to be so hot
that a mirage can be seen some distance away from the chick coz she is so hot....
and of course my forte is pissing people off so how do you piss off a gujju?
the credit here must go to babla who came up with an innovative Q+A
Q:How do you spell gujju?
A:M-a-d-a-r-c-h-o-d
of course there is a mellow version of this which i use
Q:How do you spell gujju?
A:zhe-you-zhe-zhe-you
Friday, August 14, 2009
Q.A.M
Q.A.M aint some special task force ,they aint like the R.A.F[the rapid action force which gets deployed in certain dangerous regions to control the crowds]...no my friends i am goin to introduce all of you to a freak,idiot,loser....unlike myself of course....all my freakiness is classy not crassy......so QAM is/was and unfortunately will always be..Quazi Abdul Mabud....he was one of me class mates for a year in the lovely little city called STB[St thomas boys for all you ignorant losers]....now QAM was not like the normal STb guys ...which isnt a good thing....he was more like most of the people i seem to meet in calcutta[i will get to that in me later blogs]....
I met the bloke in class 8 when i first came to calcutta.....a decent enough guy he was,,,athletic,dark skinned....but nevertheless a good bloke....at least that was the first impression of him that i got....of course he turned out to be a pain rite up the asshole.....like a 12 inch cock up a virgins ass....thats the kinda pain he has become....
why do i hate him ? i hate almost everyone but some people just have a special place in me heart like this guy[more people are gonna get ripped soon].....
for one this guy thinks he is the greatest thing to ever happen to our school,people tend to forget the greatest thing to happen in our school is actually our proximity to kidderpore....and its people of course......so now i will give you all true incidents as i always do......
1: he always tries to be a teachers pet:i remember once his mother was very ill.....now a normal person is not expected to be cheerful and rosy all the while...i know there will be doom and gloom rite on their face...this bloke went to a teacher for no apparent fucking reason....blurted out his "sad" thing and then the sir told us that we should sympathize with/for him.....i dont know why the fuck will i let everyone know if i am having a shit time in life......but still i can give him the benefit of the doubt for this one case
2:during an examination in STB....a peon came over to check on the different electrical devices in the classroom...coz we had a habit of destroying school property......and one fan was not working coz the blades were bent almost to 90 degrees.......so the peon tried blaming us......but we shot back saying we didnt do it.....when later a teacher asked us outside the class as to what had happened.....QAM jumped on his cheap ass and started letting the teacher know everything in his broke ass english and then tried to show the fucking fan in its right angled position
"madam.....the fan is laik theeeees"[i know the correct spelling of all words in quotes but i gotta explain as to how this loser would speak]
3:sports :since the guy was pretty athletic he was made the house captain or some shit like dat.....so every time he would threaten the then fat kid me....
"i will make you march all day.....you hae to take part"
"you have to be the 'anchor' for the tug of war"
this would happen every year
4:the l'aura':since the guy was later made as the school vice captian.....really he was .....he had this shit hole aura bout him....thinking he was probably one of the best students around in STB....and so he had "authority"....i took care of that
so one day while we the class 12 students were returning home after our exams....some class 5-6 kids saw QAM....and they started you know oogling him...
"look look its the school vice captain"
"he must be relly respected"
"how can we be like you?"
they asked him
the dumbass actually replied back
"hard work and study well....then you can be like me"
fucking douche bag never was ranked even in the top ten in any class....probably failed KG as well....so i took care of levelling the field
i shot back
"yeh yeh hai humlog ka vice captain?
he cant do anything......nothing he can do.....bloody useless fucker......."
and of course followed by my loud obnoxious laugh....[which took a lot of years of training]........the kids also started to laugh...so did a few of me pals......
QAM retorted back....
"Adeem if you dont stop...i will make you cry..."
yeah like by talking away all me porno....dumb loser.......
he even called me once for help coz he was...get this.....watching porno over the internet with a pal in his pal's place....and he couldnt delete the "history" from the internet explorer.....
i replied "i cant help you....i use firefox...."
the king of all comebacks was of course shot out by babla.....while we were in class 12....there was this huge john cena hype...he had this "i quit" match.....so QAM comes over to us and starts blabbering away in his cheap ass english...
"blah blah blah.....when i am done with you ...you will have two words to say.......
I QUIT!"
babla retorts
"no the words will be
AEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE RANDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII"
that shut him up for good......
I met the bloke in class 8 when i first came to calcutta.....a decent enough guy he was,,,athletic,dark skinned....but nevertheless a good bloke....at least that was the first impression of him that i got....of course he turned out to be a pain rite up the asshole.....like a 12 inch cock up a virgins ass....thats the kinda pain he has become....
why do i hate him ? i hate almost everyone but some people just have a special place in me heart like this guy[more people are gonna get ripped soon].....
for one this guy thinks he is the greatest thing to ever happen to our school,people tend to forget the greatest thing to happen in our school is actually our proximity to kidderpore....and its people of course......so now i will give you all true incidents as i always do......
1: he always tries to be a teachers pet:i remember once his mother was very ill.....now a normal person is not expected to be cheerful and rosy all the while...i know there will be doom and gloom rite on their face...this bloke went to a teacher for no apparent fucking reason....blurted out his "sad" thing and then the sir told us that we should sympathize with/for him.....i dont know why the fuck will i let everyone know if i am having a shit time in life......but still i can give him the benefit of the doubt for this one case
2:during an examination in STB....a peon came over to check on the different electrical devices in the classroom...coz we had a habit of destroying school property......and one fan was not working coz the blades were bent almost to 90 degrees.......so the peon tried blaming us......but we shot back saying we didnt do it.....when later a teacher asked us outside the class as to what had happened.....QAM jumped on his cheap ass and started letting the teacher know everything in his broke ass english and then tried to show the fucking fan in its right angled position
"madam.....the fan is laik theeeees"[i know the correct spelling of all words in quotes but i gotta explain as to how this loser would speak]
3:sports :since the guy was pretty athletic he was made the house captain or some shit like dat.....so every time he would threaten the then fat kid me....
"i will make you march all day.....you hae to take part"
"you have to be the 'anchor' for the tug of war"
this would happen every year
4:the l'aura':since the guy was later made as the school vice captian.....really he was .....he had this shit hole aura bout him....thinking he was probably one of the best students around in STB....and so he had "authority"....i took care of that
so one day while we the class 12 students were returning home after our exams....some class 5-6 kids saw QAM....and they started you know oogling him...
"look look its the school vice captain"
"he must be relly respected"
"how can we be like you?"
they asked him
the dumbass actually replied back
"hard work and study well....then you can be like me"
fucking douche bag never was ranked even in the top ten in any class....probably failed KG as well....so i took care of levelling the field
i shot back
"yeh yeh hai humlog ka vice captain?
he cant do anything......nothing he can do.....bloody useless fucker......."
and of course followed by my loud obnoxious laugh....[which took a lot of years of training]........the kids also started to laugh...so did a few of me pals......
QAM retorted back....
"Adeem if you dont stop...i will make you cry..."
yeah like by talking away all me porno....dumb loser.......
he even called me once for help coz he was...get this.....watching porno over the internet with a pal in his pal's place....and he couldnt delete the "history" from the internet explorer.....
i replied "i cant help you....i use firefox...."
the king of all comebacks was of course shot out by babla.....while we were in class 12....there was this huge john cena hype...he had this "i quit" match.....so QAM comes over to us and starts blabbering away in his cheap ass english...
"blah blah blah.....when i am done with you ...you will have two words to say.......
I QUIT!"
babla retorts
"no the words will be
AEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE RANDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII"
that shut him up for good......
The Farewell
The day finally after 12 years of schooling [2 in bombay 8 in dubai and 6 in cal]...i was out of school for good....well until my results came out but i did pass so kiss my ass.....anyways the last day of school [unofficially] was the day before our ISC exams began........so all i thought was of havin fun and all....but some teachers came 2 ruin the party and started teachin.....damn em
me classmates tried their level best 2 persuade em 2 stop but they wouldnt listen so it was time or our weapons....the greatest of em was....ignorin the teachers completely.......but alas it didnt work and they went on teachin coz of a couple of assholes who sat right in front and would nod their heads for no reason....[partho..........ass]......then the last couple of periods started...and our giddiness came out all us class 12 A and B boys ran out and didnt care bout teachin
i remember one incident where some 12 A boys were catchin hold of any class 12 student and like 15-20 of em would pile on that one bloke.....and these guys were really nice though they would amke sure that nothin could harm or nothin could break........when they piled on me one of em asked for me glasses and watch......THEN THEY PILED ON ME................
some parents were like "eiiiiiiiii chele school e pore?.....eei chelera toh goonda lok"[cut me some slack me bengali aint great but u know what i mean]
the things didnt end there u know the normal rituals of rippin the shirt and writin stuff on the shirt went on also......
i went home with half of me shirt on me ,1/4th in me bag ....1/4th in someone else's hand...also the assholes ripped me vest ...i looked like a cheap student who didnt have cash 2 buy proper clothes and i had 2 walk like 1/2 a mile 2 get 2 my house...........damn
OFFICIAL EXIT
our official exit came on the 2nd last day of ISC thats the day of the 2nd language exams....[mamata di had kicked all the computer science students ass's coz of her bandh we got our tests postponed].......and we were like scolded from the morning be4 we went 2 the exam hall by teachers "DONT LEAVE THE HALL FAST...DONT DO NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
we were like fine fine we dont wanna go before we break some furniture and all......
even before our "last" exam togethere began....we were all ready for a riot....as soon as we got a glimspe of the invigilators we all started clappin like hell.....teachers came 2 calm us down .........scared ass's there........and when the exam got over .........then the real shitness started
WE WERE MADE 2 SIT IN OUR SEATS
NO MOVIN BOUT AND ALL..... ALTHOUGH I DID MOVE ABOUT...BUT WAS PUT IN ME PLACE........then they started handin us out some napkins....
all of us were like "hey cool at least our school did give us something ....the cheap bastar**".........then our oh so new princi came and gave us a borin half arsed speech...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
then came all the office staff and started servin us food packets......[ok that was nice though]....and finnaly the worst bit came our teacher personally gave us goin away cards......which were 4*4 cm cards on which was written
"No matter if u stand on cactus
AIM FOR THE STARS"
then came the best bit
while we were seated a peon came around and handed us some tissues
since we are assholes and rascals some of the guys started clapping and cheering
"aaeee at least school napkin diya......
yay....napkin de deeees hai....."
which was again met with another strict disciplinarian speech by the "new princi"...who was the old princi of the girls school.....oh yeah we did get a box o food....chinese that is.....so i cldnt complain.....fried rice and chikcen manchurian....of course the typical gujjus and veges complained.....they did get their boxes changed for a vege one.....but come on who likes vege food?
back to the speech which didnt make sense....and oh yeah the "personal" bit was that each card had out names written on it means that some ass teachers pet did that part.......heres lookin at u again partho.......who dont u just burn and rot in hell.......no hell is a good place 2 be actually rot in a place where there are no teachers ......oh yeah thats torture for u asshole
me classmates tried their level best 2 persuade em 2 stop but they wouldnt listen so it was time or our weapons....the greatest of em was....ignorin the teachers completely.......but alas it didnt work and they went on teachin coz of a couple of assholes who sat right in front and would nod their heads for no reason....[partho..........ass]......then the last couple of periods started...and our giddiness came out all us class 12 A and B boys ran out and didnt care bout teachin
i remember one incident where some 12 A boys were catchin hold of any class 12 student and like 15-20 of em would pile on that one bloke.....and these guys were really nice though they would amke sure that nothin could harm or nothin could break........when they piled on me one of em asked for me glasses and watch......THEN THEY PILED ON ME................
some parents were like "eiiiiiiiii chele school e pore?.....eei chelera toh goonda lok"[cut me some slack me bengali aint great but u know what i mean]
the things didnt end there u know the normal rituals of rippin the shirt and writin stuff on the shirt went on also......
i went home with half of me shirt on me ,1/4th in me bag ....1/4th in someone else's hand...also the assholes ripped me vest ...i looked like a cheap student who didnt have cash 2 buy proper clothes and i had 2 walk like 1/2 a mile 2 get 2 my house...........damn
OFFICIAL EXIT
our official exit came on the 2nd last day of ISC thats the day of the 2nd language exams....[mamata di had kicked all the computer science students ass's coz of her bandh we got our tests postponed].......and we were like scolded from the morning be4 we went 2 the exam hall by teachers "DONT LEAVE THE HALL FAST...DONT DO NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
we were like fine fine we dont wanna go before we break some furniture and all......
even before our "last" exam togethere began....we were all ready for a riot....as soon as we got a glimspe of the invigilators we all started clappin like hell.....teachers came 2 calm us down .........scared ass's there........and when the exam got over .........then the real shitness started
WE WERE MADE 2 SIT IN OUR SEATS
NO MOVIN BOUT AND ALL..... ALTHOUGH I DID MOVE ABOUT...BUT WAS PUT IN ME PLACE........then they started handin us out some napkins....
all of us were like "hey cool at least our school did give us something ....the cheap bastar**".........then our oh so new princi came and gave us a borin half arsed speech...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
then came all the office staff and started servin us food packets......[ok that was nice though]....and finnaly the worst bit came our teacher personally gave us goin away cards......which were 4*4 cm cards on which was written
"No matter if u stand on cactus
AIM FOR THE STARS"
then came the best bit
while we were seated a peon came around and handed us some tissues
since we are assholes and rascals some of the guys started clapping and cheering
"aaeee at least school napkin diya......
yay....napkin de deeees hai....."
which was again met with another strict disciplinarian speech by the "new princi"...who was the old princi of the girls school.....oh yeah we did get a box o food....chinese that is.....so i cldnt complain.....fried rice and chikcen manchurian....of course the typical gujjus and veges complained.....they did get their boxes changed for a vege one.....but come on who likes vege food?
back to the speech which didnt make sense....and oh yeah the "personal" bit was that each card had out names written on it means that some ass teachers pet did that part.......heres lookin at u again partho.......who dont u just burn and rot in hell.......no hell is a good place 2 be actually rot in a place where there are no teachers ......oh yeah thats torture for u asshole
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Calcutta da citee of joay
Now let me get back to my old ways,lets forget bout the last blog,i fortunately have been all around the world and have visited many cities and countries.France,England,Singapore,The U.A.E to name a few and have even travelled a ton across India but i have always loved 2 cities ,Dubai ...well because my childhood was spent there ,a total of seven amazing years they were too,i mean shopping malls were everywhere,good people,easy to drive there fast food centres were everywhere...there was a KFC,Burger King,a Pizza hut,A Carl's Jr,a Pizza inn outlet around 5 minutes from my house so i guess my problem of obesity should be blamed on those factors....
The 2nd city i am in love with is Calcutta for a majority of reasons...the first reason is the weather,i love the rainy season....more so coz i never expereinced it in Dubai so any chance i get to be in the rain i take it up....the next reason is me pals.....although i have benn to a ton of places me best pals all are from Calcutta,no ego and all that shit absolutely perfect pals i got,who think like me ,who have a good sense of humour,who can abuse a ton like me....well all this does not apply to nagu the freak of nature....coz he is slow and idiotic but still he is a close pal....and the next reason is.....well......ummm....fuck there aint no other reason.....the truth is i lote Calcutta [lote=love/hate]....and i will let you know why.....why and how have people/things destroyed my hometown
well the first and most obvious reason to hate calcutta is for the bengali population and how they are
from bad accents,to acting oversmart ....they really take the cake,bad body odour ,stupid jokes i really hate em to the core[but i hate almost everyone to the core]....but the irony is that all me best pals are bengali and fortunately none of em have the characteristics mentioned above
the next reason i hate calcutta is the traffic and the public as a whole
constant jams,drivers racing like they are in formula 1....i do believe that any auto driver is miles better than michael schummacher.....india has a wealth of drivers who can squeeze a speeding vehicle between two large trucks and still have a mobile in one hand and a beedi in the other while abusing the truck drivers.....and as i said the people and public are just pathetic in calcutta...nuff said
the next reason i hate calcutta is the number of biharis in the city
they not only bring down the people on india as a whole they fucking destroy the somewhat bengali "good" heritage here.....i mean they pollute the city so much and have already infiltrated my family .my clean decent bengali family now has almost 50% members who are bihari and by bihari i mean real bihari ,speaking in their crap assed language ,their stupid ceremonies during weddings....which includes a song about abusing the in laws....yes thats rite...i never get invited to sing the songs ...for some "unknown" reason....
the next reason i hate the city is coz of me relatives....man they are a real pain in the ass....now only a few relatives are a pain but they are huge pains....the pain is similar to listening to a himesh song on a loudspeaker and you are tied to a chair while watching aap ka suroor....thats how bad some of em are...
but as i said i still love the city a lot
me pals are some of the best i have
my school was just as amazing...there was not one day in STB where there wouldnt be a fight or some stupid comic thing going on....and of course how can i forget i have to thank Calcutta for making me the abusive,idiotic rascist son of a gun i am......
The 2nd city i am in love with is Calcutta for a majority of reasons...the first reason is the weather,i love the rainy season....more so coz i never expereinced it in Dubai so any chance i get to be in the rain i take it up....the next reason is me pals.....although i have benn to a ton of places me best pals all are from Calcutta,no ego and all that shit absolutely perfect pals i got,who think like me ,who have a good sense of humour,who can abuse a ton like me....well all this does not apply to nagu the freak of nature....coz he is slow and idiotic but still he is a close pal....and the next reason is.....well......ummm....fuck there aint no other reason.....the truth is i lote Calcutta [lote=love/hate]....and i will let you know why.....why and how have people/things destroyed my hometown
well the first and most obvious reason to hate calcutta is for the bengali population and how they are
from bad accents,to acting oversmart ....they really take the cake,bad body odour ,stupid jokes i really hate em to the core[but i hate almost everyone to the core]....but the irony is that all me best pals are bengali and fortunately none of em have the characteristics mentioned above
the next reason i hate calcutta is the traffic and the public as a whole
constant jams,drivers racing like they are in formula 1....i do believe that any auto driver is miles better than michael schummacher.....india has a wealth of drivers who can squeeze a speeding vehicle between two large trucks and still have a mobile in one hand and a beedi in the other while abusing the truck drivers.....and as i said the people and public are just pathetic in calcutta...nuff said
the next reason i hate calcutta is the number of biharis in the city
they not only bring down the people on india as a whole they fucking destroy the somewhat bengali "good" heritage here.....i mean they pollute the city so much and have already infiltrated my family .my clean decent bengali family now has almost 50% members who are bihari and by bihari i mean real bihari ,speaking in their crap assed language ,their stupid ceremonies during weddings....which includes a song about abusing the in laws....yes thats rite...i never get invited to sing the songs ...for some "unknown" reason....
the next reason i hate the city is coz of me relatives....man they are a real pain in the ass....now only a few relatives are a pain but they are huge pains....the pain is similar to listening to a himesh song on a loudspeaker and you are tied to a chair while watching aap ka suroor....thats how bad some of em are...
but as i said i still love the city a lot
me pals are some of the best i have
my school was just as amazing...there was not one day in STB where there wouldnt be a fight or some stupid comic thing going on....and of course how can i forget i have to thank Calcutta for making me the abusive,idiotic rascist son of a gun i am......
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Poem
Here is something a little different from me normal posts......
Once upon a time in a city where all you stay
there lives a comedian/idiot/weirdo who was happy in almost every way
the one thing he really craved for
was a chick that he would go out with and do something more
but luck he had none
he never knew any chicks....absolutely none
so early in 2006 he was introduced to a site
which is now a part of everyones life
twas called orkut of all things and places
filled with people of guys and girls of different castes creeds and races
so there he started searching for the special one
but all he found was scum
so he made a new policy
adding chicks from here and there randomly
and boy did that work for him
he had over a 100 friends ,90% were femmes
and then started the laborious task
of finding out what is actually behind each girl's mask
girls were weird to him and they still are thick
shopping,gossip,clothes,lipstick,
he doesnt know why they like those things
and he never had those things as his likings
so most chicks fell off his radar
he didnt see the twinkle in their eyes still searching in futility for that one star
of course the knight had a few requisites of his own
language skills,humour and the chick should not nag or moan
and out of the blue came this one girl
who loved rock music,football and had no nonsensical twirls
so chat they did everyday
topics covered were abuses,music and football which were in no way gay
and in due course of time ,strange things were felt
for some reason he would feel warm inside and things would melt
twas the feeling of love people said
but love was never something he imagined in his stupid head
"love is stupid ,love is gay"
but as the days went by he would fall deeper and deeper in the way
but never did he let her know how he felt
the fear of rejection ,that obstacle was not dealt
so he kept this secret in him,not wanting to let it out
although inside him all he wanted to do was shout
they met a few weeks later at a mall
and he found out that she wasnt real tall
but that didnt matter,they both turned out to almost the same
laughin away,watching a flick and calling each other abusive names
but none of em tried to change the friendship into something more
almost like we left it in the cold store
time went and so did the chance
the news came she was leaving for the country which is hated by france
he felt empty inside,hollow and was a part to blame
but he changed his target and tried to find some new game
find he did but the new one was not the same
she was a pain with her constant naggin it made him insane
while on the other end,the one he loved was gone
and the friendship was torn
3 months was all that his relationship lasted
and as he ended it he was blamed by the 2nd chick and was blasted
now he was left with none
and there he felt his life was again happy and fun
the american chick came a chatting again
where the old hatchet was buried ,the reasons were as usual lame
the feelings for her have reduced ..NOT
but it has gone down from love to like a lot
because he learned something from this 3 year ordeal
love is a crazy retarted thing to feel
confusing ,frustating ,painful yet amazing
so made a vow he did for love
"Never would he fall in love again....
so he just kept on shaggin with all the hot models name"
Once upon a time in a city where all you stay
there lives a comedian/idiot/weirdo who was happy in almost every way
the one thing he really craved for
was a chick that he would go out with and do something more
but luck he had none
he never knew any chicks....absolutely none
so early in 2006 he was introduced to a site
which is now a part of everyones life
twas called orkut of all things and places
filled with people of guys and girls of different castes creeds and races
so there he started searching for the special one
but all he found was scum
so he made a new policy
adding chicks from here and there randomly
and boy did that work for him
he had over a 100 friends ,90% were femmes
and then started the laborious task
of finding out what is actually behind each girl's mask
girls were weird to him and they still are thick
shopping,gossip,clothes,lipstick,
he doesnt know why they like those things
and he never had those things as his likings
so most chicks fell off his radar
he didnt see the twinkle in their eyes still searching in futility for that one star
of course the knight had a few requisites of his own
language skills,humour and the chick should not nag or moan
and out of the blue came this one girl
who loved rock music,football and had no nonsensical twirls
so chat they did everyday
topics covered were abuses,music and football which were in no way gay
and in due course of time ,strange things were felt
for some reason he would feel warm inside and things would melt
twas the feeling of love people said
but love was never something he imagined in his stupid head
"love is stupid ,love is gay"
but as the days went by he would fall deeper and deeper in the way
but never did he let her know how he felt
the fear of rejection ,that obstacle was not dealt
so he kept this secret in him,not wanting to let it out
although inside him all he wanted to do was shout
they met a few weeks later at a mall
and he found out that she wasnt real tall
but that didnt matter,they both turned out to almost the same
laughin away,watching a flick and calling each other abusive names
but none of em tried to change the friendship into something more
almost like we left it in the cold store
time went and so did the chance
the news came she was leaving for the country which is hated by france
he felt empty inside,hollow and was a part to blame
but he changed his target and tried to find some new game
find he did but the new one was not the same
she was a pain with her constant naggin it made him insane
while on the other end,the one he loved was gone
and the friendship was torn
3 months was all that his relationship lasted
and as he ended it he was blamed by the 2nd chick and was blasted
now he was left with none
and there he felt his life was again happy and fun
the american chick came a chatting again
where the old hatchet was buried ,the reasons were as usual lame
the feelings for her have reduced ..NOT
but it has gone down from love to like a lot
because he learned something from this 3 year ordeal
love is a crazy retarted thing to feel
confusing ,frustating ,painful yet amazing
so made a vow he did for love
"Never would he fall in love again....
so he just kept on shaggin with all the hot models name"
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