Republic Day well fucking spent

Now we all should know that i am not the kind of person who likes going out regularly,i mean a movie once in a couple of weeks is the max i can do with,or the probability of meeting all me best pals on alternate days but they mostly come over to my place ,an outing is a rarity for me coz there isnt much out there for either a freak like me in calcutta or for a lame ass like me.

So on this "Republic Day" as usual after the flag hoisting ceremony and all me building pals and I were just loitering about ,i rarely go down as well ,but there are occasions when i do join me pals,rare they are though.As i was saying,Zaman Bhai[one muscular freak who is ready to beat up as many people as possible],Sid[one of the 2 best pals i got in me complex who can deal with my intellect],Madhav[the other intellectual best pal of mine],Chintoo[dont know his real name but the guy is freaking tall] and Aaush[the real fucking freak of the complex] were all just loitering about in the parking lot.

But before we ended up there we had to take care of the flag hoisting and all that,so out of a complex of 200+ flats only freakin 30 people came that too at 10:45 ,15 minutes later than the stipulated time,so it was me zaman bhai and madhav as the only ass representatives from our age groups,and as we were about to sing the national anthem this guy Mohta bhai,who is a skinny cock eyed bloke takes out his cell phone and starts blabberring,zaman bhai would not let this go,"Arrey Mohta bhai,mobile mein kyu baat kar rahe ho,Jana Gana Mana goa,Sala Pakistani" [No offence meant to any Pakistanis out there],poor Mohta does nothing but limbers off,the ceremoney lasted no more than 5 minutes and after that we went to our parking lot.

We find this blokes dalmation is doing a round,and is now tied up to a pillar,so zaman bhai,madhav and i walk up to it,i keep my fucking distance from the pup coz i hate animals,cept when i eat em,but the other 2 blokes go right up to it.Everytime they want the dog to stand up or do anything for the matter of fact,the pup starts pissing all around,Zaman bhai gets fucking furious and starts blaring out in the parking lot
"I will piss on you,i will fuck you",but thats the normal reaction you would expect from any of my pals when they are getting pissed on from a kutta.

At around 11:15 or so comes down Sid ,freaks were busy shagging off at home,not that i denounce that act,but nationalistic pride should come before porn i guess,Aaush still hasnt picked up the phone even after texting him and calling him numerous times,so now its the 4 of us and then starts the real retardness,barring me the other 3 people go to a gym,i am too fucking lazy to do all that,and so are talking bout their biceps etc etc etc and they [sid and madhav ]start showing off their bazookas and all,Zaman bhai comes into the frame and as Sid is about to poke him and all he blares out
"agar te mujhe chuua ,zor se gaali dega"
Sid aint gonna get fazed by that after all we all are former STB students,and he does try to hit zaman bhai,who like a paranoid lady screams out in a bus when she feels someone brush her,did the same
"aaaaaeeeee laaaaauuuurrrraaaaa kaaaaaaa baaaalllll"
safe to say no one tried to do anything to zaman bhai for a few minutes at least.

Then came Aaush and Chintoo,chintoo didnt really say much apart from Zaman bhai pulling his leg all the time,regarding girls and all,Aaush came as a freak ,they all decided to go for a smoke outside the building ,i dont smoke,really i dont,so i stayed a few feet away while they all puffed and all,then they decided to go to a mandir,i had never ridden with these people so it was a first for me,out came a massive SUV ,which had DEFENCE written on it,i dont know why,so it was Aaush driving,Madhav [shotgun,yes who ever called out shotgun first would sit next to the driver],me and chintoo at the back seat,zaman bhai and sid right at the back,we also picked up rahul bhai,while aaush was driving around the complex he almost backed into a santro while we abused the shit out of him.

Off we went,though we had a stopover at another fag store for a few cigs ,zaman bhai stepped out and we drove off,leaving him behind,but he knew he had our weakness,the cigs,so we did one round and came back to pick him up,now the entire time when zaman bhai and sid were seated at the back they were constantly trying to molest one another and fighting at the back while Aaush was telling zaman bhai to try to fix the back light of the SUV and everytime he did that Aaush stepped on the brake giving bhai a good old shocka. As usual zama bhai retorted with
"AAAAAAuuuuuu laaaauuuurrrraaaaa mat kar"

So most of us are faggin about,sid threw a match box at Aaush while the guy was driving and out came a war of abusive words between him,mother father,vagina's nothing was left out,so finally we reached the mandir,me zaman bhai and chintoo didnt go into the mandir,zaman bhai was driving around and double parked,so bang on schedule came a police officer and old bloke who was yammering about telling us to move the car,while zaman bhai argued that it was a "Defence" car and that we would leave in minutes,and as said in a few minutes the other guys came out ,Aaush was now riding shotgun,Zaman bhai was driving ,oh dear lord save me he was driving.

Zaman bhai is a proper STB student who drives like a maniac to say the least,i dont think he even knows that cars have brakes,or that they should be driven at least in calcutta with a little control,he is like an indian michael schummacher,zipping across raods,traffic,pedestrians they are like chicanes to him,they are there,but they should fucking move when he is driving,a normal 15 minute journey takes less than 3 minutes for him.My first time,say a prayer and put on your seat belts,i aint saying that for dramatic effect,i was told to do that by Sid.This was the first time my mouth was shut ,i barely said anything throughout the ride,apart from one blowjob joke i made on madhav.

Zip zam zoom thats all i can say about ZB[zaman bhai],he even once took the wrong route and almost rammed into an auto when the auto driver said "kya chala rahe ho",he replied "tum toh bahut achcha chala rahe ho",then the auto sped off,when we crossed the signal we spotted the same auto,we stopped right next ti him and abused him and joked at him,then we realised it was some other auto driver who stared at us like he was possesed of something,he was shocked to say the least,now when Aaush rides shotgun,he always decides to climb out of the window and start acting cool and all,while ZB swerves the car about to keep the bloke inside.

While on a stetch we hit 100+ kmph in a city street ,we decided to have some fun,we stopped at asked a guy
"dada sonargachi[a red light district] kothai?" [where is sonargachi]
the guy looks into the car filled with like 8 perverts ,and replied back
"chudte jacho?" [going to fuck?]
ZB replies "Haan tumi o cholo" [yes you also come along]
and we speed off again,another thing aaush seems to love to do is point at other vehicles while at high speeds to let em know if they have a flat tire or something,when they obviously dont have a flat tire,he did this to 2 cabs and a freaking bus and all the vehicles slowed down to check out if they had a problem,oh by the way the 20 minute distance was covered in 10 minutes by ZB,it could have been faster had he not gotten confused about some directions and of course we had not played around with that "sonargachi" thing.

The scourges of calcutta.Nuff said.

Sleepover

Yeah this one blog is about a sleepover i had with me pals babla and chintoo ,now for all you folks out there thinking why do 20 year olds have sleepovers?,its cause we are 20 years old physically but mentally i am around 9,babla is 12 and rohit is the most mature amongst us at a cool 15.Since chintoo/rohit doesnt stay in calcutta anymore ,whenever he does come over we have one sleepover at me place,thats become the law now,this one sleepover was held quite recently on the night of the game between Aston Villa and Liverpool,now i wasnt that keen on the game coz of our poor form and all,i was much more interested in me pals.

As per usual rohit [the ever punctual guy] comes bang on time at around 8,he had made this absolutely kickass cake before and brought a lot more [the gay can cook!,well bake at least],i was treating em punks to dinner coz of my excellent MAT score[98.55%,i dont wanna brag but....],so we spent that evening remembering the good old days of STB,of Pope tera baap hai,of I had a fock and the other amazing stories as to how August Muni was the best penalty taker coz he was cock eyed and no one knew where he was gonna shoot,or about MR Raha "Mr Foolar has 2 daughter ,both of them are girls" his one liners still crack us up.Plus he bought his extrenal HD with a ton of movies and videos to see,some of his college in Suratkal ,some about comedy and the likes.

Babla as ever the late bastard came at around 10 but again as per law he brought ice cream to have with cake,fuck yeah!,the night starts with us having dinner and laughing our asses off coz of the hilarious jokes and crazy retarded things that happened at STB,quite naturally we laughed more than we ate,then came time for dessert,which was eaten in 2 shifts ,the first one was right after dinner with chocolate sauce that babla stole from his father's house[adil's house,thats another running joke],then we retired to my room,and again the night was spent abusing each other,abusing imran and abusing a ton of other people like we normally do.

As soon as it was midnite babla goes into scary movie mode and was bangin about wanted to watch a scary movie,we watched the blair witch project the last time and babla was shit scared after that,this time rohit brought around "Paranormal Activity",the much hyped horror flick,now even though we watched the movie at midnite and all ,plus the fact it was pin drop silent ,it wasnt that scary a movie but again as per the law babla was hiding under the sheets,while rohit was on the brink of falling asleep,i had to keep em both up,movie done and babla dozes off,usually its chintoo who goes off first while i piss the brain out of the other person awake,this time i had rohit for a nice long chat about chix,sex,school,college and friendship,football was one me mind and i tuned into the Villa Liverpool match,the 2nd half had started and it was still goal less between the sides.

It was around the 60th minute when rohit was asking bout good old Aquaman/Little Prince/Aquilani,chintoo is a Chelski fan,he was a former
Madarchod UNITED fan who jumped ship,and was blasting Aquilani for being a "Khaaja" player and all,right then Liverpool had a free kick ,around 25-30 yards from goal and i said "If Aquaman scores,i will do some crazy shit........"
Rohit says "Fuck you wont do anything asshole"
i replied "I will kiss Babla.......for sure"[now the kiss was to be a big fat one on his cheeks]....calm the fuck down,no one will kiss babla on his lips cept his maagi.

Fortunately Aquaman missed and i was saved,the match goes on,chance after chance for Villa and a good few chances for Liverpool,as the match draws to a close ,i was thinking damn this might not be a good result for us at all,but in the 93rd minute up steps El Nino/FT9/Torres and guides the ball clinically into the net ,and i had to do it,celebrated wildly and kiss babla,he was startled and woke up rubbing his cheek
"Kya hua???? Kaaaaa hua?"
and off he went back to bed.....
This just seals the love bond i have with babla.

In a few years time get ready for this

"Babla weds Antara" our alter egos

PS:I ,am in no way gay,neither is babla,or chintoo,this was just a crazy night,so calm the fuck down.