Geek Vs Freak

Over the years I clearly know that i have been a major pain in the ass for quite a few people, especially the people i decide to "friend" and get close to. I also know how many people have clearly told me that they would kill me or beat me up if they ever had the chance, to which i scoff at their remarks by saying "its a LOOOOONG line" , which to an extent is true.
People have called me a freak over the years and I take that in my stride because being freaky ain't easy but it sure is fun, invariably I end up making some person burst out in laughter or at least bring a smile to someone's face, now something that might shock you people is that this freak within me was not always there, in fact I at one stage of my life was something that i hate nowadays .....a Geek.
The proper bangalee stereotype of always studying and doing brilliantly well in school, always ranking among the top 5 and taking part in almost all of em crappy school activities,plays,sports,debates,elocution's[7 year reigning champion at my school] but then when i came back to Calcutta and utterly failed at doing well at what i was good at,because of the competition of bangalees a change took place and the real freak bonbon came out sometime in 2005

Normally I dont really like talking about geeks but an evening forced me to blog about it at least, it was the holi weekend and my parents as the usual weekend tradition goes were to have dinner at some restaurant, its a tradition that no food is cooked at my house during the weekend,kind of a thank you to my mom , so my dad tells me about this new place that he found called "Krystal Chopsticks" , i know that's not the correct spelling but hey , lets cut the place some slack as the food really was fantastic but we got a table next to another family, again no problems there.

So by the time we finish ordering then the irritation starts and i am not talking about some sort of rash in the never regions, rather it starts off with
Son #1:I don't want to go to San Francisco [in this so fake American accent]
Mom:Why not? Lets go to San Fran
Son #1:but the only thing there is the Golden gate,lets go to San Diego,its better there

and i am thinking ,you fucking gay,that's what san fran is full off,gays like you

While this was still tolerable they then went on with a 5 minute debate about where to go,while i still couldn't figure out why they wanted to go anywhere at all,because they never got to the point, by the time this crummy debate ended and i thought ,maybe i can enjoy a little piece of tranquility they then start something i never want to be near again in my life

A geek debate,you know a debate that is so geeky that it defies the logic of debating and well communication and enjoyment for lets say the masses of the non geeks
it starts off with Geek son #1,hey that rhymes!,"So who do you think contributed more to science? Einstein or Newton"

I hear this and my mind goes,WTF are you on? I mean come on its a saturday night,a fucking beautiful night,with great food and of all the things to discuss on such a beautiful time ,turd comes up with this.
People would normally shoot this down ,I mean I would have literally ripped him a new asshole ,but his mother and father started a proper debate over this,probably like the geeks they are,this went on for a good 10 minutes, I guess they even have a long nice debate about whether colgate or pepsodent uses the correct amount of fluoride in the respective toothpaste brands.
All the while i have my head in my hands and my mom asks me "whats wrong?"
i tell her that the freaks are discussing crap and Can i open my trap to shut em up,to which she naturally says "NO",because she knows of my "talent"

While the debate doesn't end the waiter comes up with the bill ,mom picks it up and starts lambasting the poor waiter
"What the hell is this,i cant read anything,its printed so lightly,what the hell?"
And i felt so bad for the bloke but then
he smiled,took the bill from the lady's hand and flipped it around,She was reading the wrong side of the bill ,EPIC PAWNAGE and THAT shut the lady up,which just proved my point that being geeky is worse than being freaky,but that you might say is just my point of view right?

well thanks to all my MBA classes i decided to hold a poll,so i put up a question as to who would you punch first if you had the chance and be completely immune from punishment
A geek or a Freak
9 out of the ten respondents said GEEK
and one person who did say "Adeem" said so because of that barnstorming result i had in my MAT exam[98.55%,don't ask me how i got it,i am just as baffled as every other person] so i count it as another vote for the geek

So there you have it a 100% vote for punching a geek anytime over a freak.
Nuff Said

Nagu

The 3rd member of the gang of best pals is Nagu ,aka Somraj Sarkar,this guys name was fairly easy to put together due to his mannerisms and by what he is called at home.As all of you must know by now,if you didnt already,all bengali children have a pet name,no matter how easy their name may be easy to pronounce or even if the name is something unique,every bengali kid has a pet name ,thats the rule.

So we have Babla,Rohit is called Tiga[although he is happy with the name,since it is somewhat similar to Ex Fulham manager Jean "Tiga"na,I have Bonny ,and thus Somraj being a bong has "Raja" and since the freak[and believe me he is the freakiest of the lot] would always stick his tongue out to show his disliking of anything i put 2 and 2 together and Baam Naga-raja [King cobra] was born,so to cut it down we started calling him Nagu.

The first time i met the bloke was in class 10,he used to sit behind my bench and he seemed to be a normal bloke,a proper normal guy is hard to find in my school STB,but this guy would keep his trap shut,do nothing,in fact his friend Debapratim was the one who would do all the madness between the two,so i thought he was the mellow bong kid in school who wouldnt do anything to upset people because he was afraid of getting beaten up.

Our friendship initially grew because we were in the same hindi class[wow 2 bongs taking hindi as their 2nd language,we werent able to let that pass because chintoo would have a right go at us,"Betray" and all],there was football to discuss as well,typically he is a manc cunt,but we became the best of pals due to the school band,i was asked to join and play along with nagu,babla,gablu[roshan],adil ,afzal.Nagu was the drummer and we all had our first practice i remember at Babla's Granny's but ever since that day we have always practiced at nagu's.

This bloke is probably confused about his orientation as well,from the time i remembered asking him a very important question his answer has always confused me
q:if you had a choice would you spend a night with the hottest female of your choice or your favorite drum kit?
A:Drumkit,every single fucking time.

Wow is all i can say,and plus he has never had even a go at a relationship,not even an inkling for it,again credit has to be given but since he is a retard it doesnt make it any better.

Again the other bengali characteristic pops up here,being related to music somehow or another,he is a decent drummer though,but his drumming skills and all arent the most distinguishing factor about the bloke in the group,so to recap
Babla=Abuser/Comedian,Chintoo=Geek/Wanna be tall guy,Me=I am the glue that holds the gang together,Comedian/Abuser/Catalyst/Typical Harami comment maker.

Nagu is the slow,dumb freak,now he is slow,but he isnt a freak because of that,he is the real freak because of his actions and emotions or lack of sometimes.
For eg:Some time in diwali we all were at nagu's terrace[i wasnt there] so the guys were all looking up at the sky and a few firecrackers started lighting up the sky
Nagu ,points to the sky and says casually "eh boom,.........Boom.......boom" ,pointing at every burst cracker,with no emotion at all,but he continued saying "boom" everytime something lit off.

Then there are times he tries to prove his stupidity and ignorance,chintoo,nagu and i were at chintoo's,and we were talking about our favorite author's,Chintoo had a ton of Hercule Poiree books or something,i remember making a ton of jokes on em,Agatha Christie as well,i think they were the same book,so i told em "Anon" is my favorite author,i dont read too many books barring game manuals or game magazines,so the 3 of us have a nice chuckle,then after 5 minutes nagu asks "Eh Who is Anon?",so we give him the benefit of the doubt and tell him "Anon is short for Anonymous",Nagu goes "Ohhhhh ok",5 minutes later "Eh Who is Anonymous?"

Then there was the great FA cup joke when Liverpool beat Manu 1-0 in 2006,and he is telling us the next day in school
Nagu:did you see Peter Crouch being busted open by Drogba?
Rohit:Drogba plays for Chelsea.....

Oh yeah whenever something wrong is said in front of him or he wants to interrupt someone,he makes retarded sounds from his mouth ,for eg if anyone has said some wrong fact or something he goes "eh burrrrrrrrrrr pup click clack booomp" and then he starts talking,although i think he does it to make himself the center of attention.

Normally a calm cool guy,sometimes he loses his cool and when you touch a nerve he goes berserk,if anyone constantly pisses him off,mostly me or babla he would shout out "Boka choda ,Khankeer Chele ,Khisti Khabi?"[Translation "Bak chod,Randi ka bachcha,gaali khayega?],oh and he has the strength of like 5-6 men,babla,chintoo and i cant hold him down,we tried but we fail every single time.So he is the wrong person to mess around with.

The avid footballer he is,and we are as well,so almost every alternate day at Rohit's we would play footie,Rohit + Babla,Me+Nagu+Manko,the 3 of us would be together because we didnt have skills and we all are overweight,well nagu aint but he is slow,Nagu though would make excellent runs and would invariably end up being right in front of goal,ball gets crossed and he is standing like a foot in front of the goal line,and then when you think he will finish,the finishing touch by nagu always ended with the ball hitting the roof's ledge,no goal,he did this every time we played like 15 times out of the 16 times he would have a chance at goal,thats talent.

He also sports a beard second to that of a criminal,full fledged beard + moustache combo,he even scared my cousin sister who now refers to him as "daari waala",we gifted him a shaving set on his 16 birthday i remember,he is unrecognisable when he is clean shaven ,he probably will get arrested one day for not looking like the person in his ID card or some,else a terrorist or something for sure.

Right now he is studying Architecture at BESU,he always had a dream about being an "arky" as he calls it ,i remember him being pummeled every single day by his seniors as it was part of ragging,but he couldnt rag his juniors,bloody chutia,nevertheless,his dream was always to build the roof for court where the Wimbledon finals are played,i think that dream is over as i heard the construction for the roof has begun or is finished,not sure,but i coaxed him to build ,or at least he will plan my next house,as he always reminds me,since he is an "arky" ,he will only make plans and not take part in the building process as he is not an engineer,typical lazy bastard.

Retardos

Now of course you people know about the ton of retards in me school,some of em were really freaky,the studious group often constituted of the gays,and there is this incident when a couple of studiays[thats studious gays] were chatting to one another another,and they had some argument so one gay slapped the fuck out of the other,i think it was sourjo or anirudho who got slapped,now what would a Mard/man do if he got hit,that to way fucking hard,well heaven and hell would open up,the skies would have hailstones falling and wrath would be unleashed on earth,but hell no the chakka decides to poke[like that facebook poke] the other guy and then retorts
"I believe i hit you"
Gay cunt

Then there was August Muni who was actually retarded,once i remember,in fact me pal told me that often Muni would sit in the last bench of the class and play around with his ding dong bell[penis,dick,laura for all of you who dont know what i am talking about] and he would do this regularly
But i must say this,he was the best penalty kick taker in the world,no one could ever guess which way he was gonna go coz he was cock eyed,i kid you not,i dont think anyone ever saved any of his penalties

Of course there was Imrano ronaldo gaynaldo,who thought he was cristiano ronaldo,he certainly got that gay persona perfectly in college though,i remember chatting with him in class 10 when he said that if he would do well in these board exams his dad would take him to,again i kid you not,manchester and he would try out and get into the MANU U-17 team and would play for em,that dream changed and he then wanted to go to Anderlecht in Belgium coz it was a sister club of MANU,that didnt happen also,
Imrano's greatest joke of course was that regarding Mr Forran,a teacher with whom we played a lotta football during thw winter vacations in out school,everyday at 6 AM we would go to the field to play,one such saturday chintoo and i reached the field and no one was there barring imrano who told us that
"Mr Forran has gone to Canada......he wont come back"

A few weeks later school opened and funnily enough we saw Mr Forran walking around
we went to him and asked him
"Sir we heard you had gone to Canada....how come you are here back"
Forran replied
"Who told you this?
That imran gadwa right,bloody fool has been telling everyone i have gone to Canada,i bloody told him i was going to Kerela"

That of course wasnt the only time we made fun of our dear imrano
as probably the greatest 2 liner ever made by any student in STB,here it goes

"Imran gaya kathmandu,imran gaya kathmandu
sab usko dekh kar bol....GANDU GANDU GANDU"