Only July 14th 2010, I started a journey, after the glorious victory of the Spanish Armada over the Flying Dutchmen, it was time to grow and gain some knowledge about the most dreaded thing in life, "a business" or "work" as we call it.
Especially since I had just finished a laborious 3 year slog to get my degree, graduation was done, it was time for a post graduation course. Shuddering a lot since this was a "professional" institute, meaning, no bunking, no breaks, long hours and wearing corporate clothes and having corporate etiquette, where the fuck was I going? What the fuck was I going to do for 2 years.
Dressed to kill and not wanting to leave my humble yet comfortable abode, the journey to reach the said institute was a long one, starting early in the morning with the pixies still have laid their dust in my eyes, wiping them away, having a morning constitutional and making my breakfast, easy take? Not for one who would stay awake till the stars were bright at night and the howling dogs would have slept in the cool breeze of an open world, here I was about to begin the journey which would ultimately lead me to a closed world where I could still explore a lot more than expected, ironic.
The destination reached, making my way up a mountain of stairs, a little fear , a little excitement but not a lot of happiness. Who wants to gain more knowledge about stuff they don't like? This was not going to be a oration for 2 years about football, gaming or music, rather about marketing, finance and HR.
The stairs led me up to a huge room, with 180 trapped souls all either baying to be let out from the torture or just to get over with the day, fortunately meeting my brother, long lost saved my soul for the coming 2 years... I was sure these 2 years would be hell on earth, how wrong I was.
Fast forward to present day and tomorrow is my final day of reckoning in the institute, while some of us have been absorbed by the torture called as work, I would suggest those who still have a few days left before joining to enjoy each day, as once work starts, there is no coming back, there is no life, that is life for 40 or so years.
While this post starts off in a very sad tone, its time to rejoice for the moments that made it a quite extraordinary 2 years with some kickass friends.
1: The first day, returning home in a taxi at 8:30 PM when we spent the entire day from 9 AM in college, stuck in a traffic jam, rain pouring into the car and our laptops getting soaked, abusing a lot of people, wow, a amazing day.
2:The first session with the owner of the college and how he trolled us hard by saying that we were the worst ever batch in the history of the college and that "retests" were being introduced just because of us.
3: The first class by the Ghajini [search for the post on this]
4: The first time we had to collect money for Serendipity and the following day when we were on troll mode and we were on the same mode again in the 2nd serendipity.
5:The endless torturing and picking on the Mriganko, a freak who runs like he is being chased by the ladyboys of thailand and he seems to be one.
6: Showing everyone my "magic trick"
7: Shouting out aloud the Bonbon laws and being a dick to most girls in the college by constantly trolling em, telling em to wear decent clothes and if they did would tell em all the sickest perverted jokes ever.
8: Getting to troll about with the group of 5 in college, Swati, Wasim, Nangto [prithwi] and chutiya Rahul
9:Meeting the biggest fattest whale in college and yet being one of the funniest people to be around and having a genuine heart, Sethji
10: Having a kickass time during my internship, pissing off the boss, causing all sorts of havoc and not working.
11:Watching the Nangto dance about like there is no stopping him, the best dancer ever in the college, all bow down to the king.
As the final day dawns on me, us, the people who have started being slaves to organizations and companies , we all feel the same, work is not what its all cracked up to be.
While we all thought of earning money and having our own freedom in thinking and decision making, we are still slaves in a system, especially since we are freshers having no idea of what work actually is and how trolly people can be on newbies.
Its torturous, its laborious,its typical work.
While we all bitched about how pathetic college was, it seems that the theory of relativity crops up again.
Nursery>KG>Primary School>Secondary School>Graduation>Post Graduation>Work.
Work sucks, college didn't.
Oh to go back again, how the fuck did I grow up so fast?
22 years in a blink, 40 more years of crummy work.
Life trolls us all.
Showing posts with label College. Show all posts
Showing posts with label College. Show all posts
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Monday, September 19, 2011
Color me embarrassed
More than a year has passed of my Masters in Calcutta , the pressure is surely on with a lot of projects and assignments thrown down our throats, the placement season is to begin which means that people are going crazy about getting a job in a company.
Our corporate relations cell has set up so many rules and regulations its unfair, you can't change your job once you get selected, you can't miss one interview or you are out of the placement drive and a host of other rules are there, plus we are made to sign this sheet containing the rules in like 5 minutes and all, its quite stressful, most of us knowing that we wont be getting a job that we will retire with, getting the job is the most important thing for us all.
Our cell also has this bloke who thinks he is the greatest person that ever lived, not Austin Aries , the greatest wrestler and anti hero I have ever seen, the guy brags that Calcutta is a dead place and we should move out, Calcutta has no night life, no social life and all. Valid points but the facht is , HE is working in Calcutta, Why? I have no idea but I sure as hell will ask him one day.
Recently the same guy with another person from the cell, came into our class, made us sit like we were on death row or something and started lecturing us as to how one of the biggest companies was to come, Asian Paints was the name of the company . truly a big company, biggest Indian paint company, third biggest in Asia and so on, the list continues, the person was whoring as to how hard it has been for him to get the company to come here and how we should be happy and try our best to impress the person who is to come and show him our caliber and acumen.
That last bit is the thing that wont be shown by any of our students, for all the good students with a high IQ and all, which unfortunately includes me but some of the students here really know how to take the mickey out of situations, hence there is often stupid name calling for the teachers, asking random stupid questions, walking out of class going to the toilet and of course the classic , clapping your ass off even after the sir/ madam has finished the lecture, this happened to one of our college trustees , the clapping went on and on and his "stock" in front of my eyes went down and down .
So the day comes and everyone , including yours truly, has gone through the website just to get an idea of what the company is and what are the business options and plans that they do. I reach college and I dread people making fun of me for going through their website and being the butt of all jokes, I find the geeks reading the entire stock market performance over the years, stock options and all of the company, suddenly I feel I am not the sad person after all, there was one bloke worse off than me , Barik wearing a suit, for some freaky reason he wears a suit to stand out from everyone , yes he may have a high IQ as well but man does he look like a freak wearing what he does.
Now the worst bit about these meetings with the "corporates" is the timing of it, after a tough day of class, at 5 PM is our scheduled meet, which means the thing wont start before 6 PM and I wont reach home before say 8:30, If I am lucky. This day was not my lucky day, I had a terrible cold, plus 2 classes, back to back of Consumer Behaviour, which is a real toil to be truthful, Sir does try to make the class interesting but 20 minutes into the class everyone loses their interest, so after 2 classes, and a lot of sneezing and coughing, I did infect around 10 people sitting near me , some of em got to miss class on Monday, so they should be happy, back to the day.
Class ends and I feel terrible absolutely sick but I decide to stay on as that whole CRP cell may go crazy on me, the college sir comes with a few CRP people and we wait for the Asian Paints guy , somewhat sure that some old person will come who has a lot of knowledge and experience in the field, we also had somehow in our heads got the jingle of Nerolac and were thinking its the Asian Paints jingle, taking that out took some real hard work.
At 5:15 , the gate opens and this guy walks in who , at the most, is older than us by 5 years at the max, he was the HR head of the Eastern region, shocker, what was to start was more loltastic, now everyone was in the mood to impress him so all they asked was what job offers do they have and what are the opportunities for growth in the organization, then comes the barrage of questions
Q: What type of people do you want in the organization? Would you take Engineers?
A: I am sorry but its a company policy that for sales reps we do not take then but they can always apply for R&D but thats a long shot as well
Q: I did my Internship in a sales profile and I achieved my target, I am a Btech, so......?
A: Sorry but company policy again.
Q: Suppose I do apply and I have a Btech, what could be my options?
You should be able to guess the answer as well, again another bit was that we would get a sales profile in an interior tier 2 city or something , which meant keeping relationships with our dealers, meaning drinking and smoking with em, he made sure that the chicks should not get their hopes high but again a chick asks
if she will be made to go to places she would not enjoy and again the HR defends saying that the company would not expect anyone to go anywhere they are not comfortable but what was he supposed to say?
"Yes we expect each and everyone of you to whore about in front of our dealers so that they are happy and you become the sad crummy people that you are in reality"
Most of the smart people did not ask any stupid questions, some smart people did actually ask proper questions like their selling methods and all but all in all those 75 minutes I will not get back in my life, that whole clapping bit did not happen, my nose was red like a christmas ornament, my head was spinning like a top , while I made my way back home, tired, sick and pissed, the journey took me 2 hours, I somehow managed to twist my ankle real bad on the road and when I thought I did heat up my food back home I didn't set the timer right and the food came out cold from the microwave, too tired to put it back in.
The whole day was just an embarrassment for all the students, am sure that the HR will not be coming back to our college to pick anyone up, well am sure he wont come back for the Btechs and they still will ask him , Why?
So much for being in a place with high acumen people.
Our corporate relations cell has set up so many rules and regulations its unfair, you can't change your job once you get selected, you can't miss one interview or you are out of the placement drive and a host of other rules are there, plus we are made to sign this sheet containing the rules in like 5 minutes and all, its quite stressful, most of us knowing that we wont be getting a job that we will retire with, getting the job is the most important thing for us all.
Our cell also has this bloke who thinks he is the greatest person that ever lived, not Austin Aries , the greatest wrestler and anti hero I have ever seen, the guy brags that Calcutta is a dead place and we should move out, Calcutta has no night life, no social life and all. Valid points but the facht is , HE is working in Calcutta, Why? I have no idea but I sure as hell will ask him one day.
Recently the same guy with another person from the cell, came into our class, made us sit like we were on death row or something and started lecturing us as to how one of the biggest companies was to come, Asian Paints was the name of the company . truly a big company, biggest Indian paint company, third biggest in Asia and so on, the list continues, the person was whoring as to how hard it has been for him to get the company to come here and how we should be happy and try our best to impress the person who is to come and show him our caliber and acumen.
That last bit is the thing that wont be shown by any of our students, for all the good students with a high IQ and all, which unfortunately includes me but some of the students here really know how to take the mickey out of situations, hence there is often stupid name calling for the teachers, asking random stupid questions, walking out of class going to the toilet and of course the classic , clapping your ass off even after the sir/ madam has finished the lecture, this happened to one of our college trustees , the clapping went on and on and his "stock" in front of my eyes went down and down .
So the day comes and everyone , including yours truly, has gone through the website just to get an idea of what the company is and what are the business options and plans that they do. I reach college and I dread people making fun of me for going through their website and being the butt of all jokes, I find the geeks reading the entire stock market performance over the years, stock options and all of the company, suddenly I feel I am not the sad person after all, there was one bloke worse off than me , Barik wearing a suit, for some freaky reason he wears a suit to stand out from everyone , yes he may have a high IQ as well but man does he look like a freak wearing what he does.
Now the worst bit about these meetings with the "corporates" is the timing of it, after a tough day of class, at 5 PM is our scheduled meet, which means the thing wont start before 6 PM and I wont reach home before say 8:30, If I am lucky. This day was not my lucky day, I had a terrible cold, plus 2 classes, back to back of Consumer Behaviour, which is a real toil to be truthful, Sir does try to make the class interesting but 20 minutes into the class everyone loses their interest, so after 2 classes, and a lot of sneezing and coughing, I did infect around 10 people sitting near me , some of em got to miss class on Monday, so they should be happy, back to the day.
Class ends and I feel terrible absolutely sick but I decide to stay on as that whole CRP cell may go crazy on me, the college sir comes with a few CRP people and we wait for the Asian Paints guy , somewhat sure that some old person will come who has a lot of knowledge and experience in the field, we also had somehow in our heads got the jingle of Nerolac and were thinking its the Asian Paints jingle, taking that out took some real hard work.
At 5:15 , the gate opens and this guy walks in who , at the most, is older than us by 5 years at the max, he was the HR head of the Eastern region, shocker, what was to start was more loltastic, now everyone was in the mood to impress him so all they asked was what job offers do they have and what are the opportunities for growth in the organization, then comes the barrage of questions
Q: What type of people do you want in the organization? Would you take Engineers?
A: I am sorry but its a company policy that for sales reps we do not take then but they can always apply for R&D but thats a long shot as well
Q: I did my Internship in a sales profile and I achieved my target, I am a Btech, so......?
A: Sorry but company policy again.
Q: Suppose I do apply and I have a Btech, what could be my options?
You should be able to guess the answer as well, again another bit was that we would get a sales profile in an interior tier 2 city or something , which meant keeping relationships with our dealers, meaning drinking and smoking with em, he made sure that the chicks should not get their hopes high but again a chick asks
if she will be made to go to places she would not enjoy and again the HR defends saying that the company would not expect anyone to go anywhere they are not comfortable but what was he supposed to say?
"Yes we expect each and everyone of you to whore about in front of our dealers so that they are happy and you become the sad crummy people that you are in reality"
Most of the smart people did not ask any stupid questions, some smart people did actually ask proper questions like their selling methods and all but all in all those 75 minutes I will not get back in my life, that whole clapping bit did not happen, my nose was red like a christmas ornament, my head was spinning like a top , while I made my way back home, tired, sick and pissed, the journey took me 2 hours, I somehow managed to twist my ankle real bad on the road and when I thought I did heat up my food back home I didn't set the timer right and the food came out cold from the microwave, too tired to put it back in.
The whole day was just an embarrassment for all the students, am sure that the HR will not be coming back to our college to pick anyone up, well am sure he wont come back for the Btechs and they still will ask him , Why?
So much for being in a place with high acumen people.
Friday, August 5, 2011
The Conspiracy
I have always loved those conspiracy theories, the one about 9/11, Saddam etc etc etc, I know more than half of them are as real as the love a person has for their spouse of 50 years when they see a hot new play thing wanting to tag along with em but they always portrayed a completely different yet believable aspect of any real life incident.
Coming back, our major classes began this week with the brothers being separated, Wasim took finance as his major while I took marketing. Wasn't really a hard choice, I like adverts and all and I suck at anything related to mathematics, plus I suck at computer knowledge as well so IS was not my option either.
While our classes are not always from 10- 5 as it were in the first year, we do have a long distance to travel and often have to leave around noon to reach college by 1:30, on one such day our class was in the second half of the day. We meet at around 12:40 and are on the look out for a car pool to take us to college but we find a bus, as we are the "golden children" of our college or at least because Wasim is the college topper we jump on and sit.
During an amazing , warm, sweat filled journey Wasim has this moment of epiphany while looking at this huge garbage pile near Science City
Wasim: "Adeem, tera chance hai"
Me:"WTF are you talking about?"
Bear in mind, on a normal day Wasim would have retorted back with an abuse but since he was fasting during the month of Ramadan and I was not, cos of "issues" he decided to do the calm thing.
Wasim :"Arrey , you are in Marketing stream, most of the toppers are in Finance so you could do well and come in the top 10 of the marketing stream"
Me:"hahahahahahahahahah, chutia saala mera kaam nahin hai, sapna dekh"
Little did I know, this could have been my last conversation with one of my "best friends".
The bus ride ends and in between I have racked up more sins than a whore by abusing the shit out of a person fasting during the month of Ramadan while I am not even close to fasting myself, not only that, I make sure some crappy thought comes to his head but to protect himself from this vile creature he has learned one massive thing from me
"Your intentions [neeyat] must always be clean", I live by that rule and now so does he.
As we are getting off the bus I am supposed to follow the bugger across the road all because I decide to follow the correct manner to cross a street.
Look left, then right, then left and then cross the street, this has made me the joke of my class in college, which I don't mind one bit, crossing a street near my college is not easy though, cars, buses, autos, cycle rickshaws, tempos etc etc etc all can and will run over you.
So my friend tells me, as soon as I see him cross the street I should follow him, well this day I decide to do the same, while a state bus is like 30 meters away from us , a red santro is right next to the said bus, we have enough time to cross the road, since this is Calcutta , nothing is so easy and all off a sudden the bus decides to race the Santro, which would NOT BE PICKING UP ANY passengers , the Santro also wont back down and starts racing against the bus, Wasim somehow manages to slip in between the bus and the car with his bag barely scrapping through the gap.
Now its time for the fat one, I decide to jump back and let the things pass, but right behind me is this huge concrete divider , am stuck, am freaked out and am nervous like hell, the bus driver isn't trying to slow down as well, with a bit of luck I manage to use my left had to push myself and jump away from the bus which does stop a second later.
While the bus driver , Wasim and I spent 5 minutes rebuking each other and while I lay the blame completely on him, he just smoothly walks past saying "Its the bus driver's fault".
Then it hits me, when I was studying in Dubai, I was a straight A student in all subjects barring Hindi, hell I was a elocution champion for years at a stretch however as soon as I came back to Calcutta I started sucking at studies and well porn did corrupt me but so did football, this could have been the time [marketing 2nd year major] where I could have done something big and topped or something and just when Wasim blurts out what could happen, ie me doing well in the exams for once, I am almost killed by the same "friend" who said I can't cross a street by making me cross a street, woh dubla bach gaya, and I almost got ran over.
Two things come out from this
1:Wasim is a frenemy
2:The world does revolve around me.
Coming back, our major classes began this week with the brothers being separated, Wasim took finance as his major while I took marketing. Wasn't really a hard choice, I like adverts and all and I suck at anything related to mathematics, plus I suck at computer knowledge as well so IS was not my option either.
While our classes are not always from 10- 5 as it were in the first year, we do have a long distance to travel and often have to leave around noon to reach college by 1:30, on one such day our class was in the second half of the day. We meet at around 12:40 and are on the look out for a car pool to take us to college but we find a bus, as we are the "golden children" of our college or at least because Wasim is the college topper we jump on and sit.
During an amazing , warm, sweat filled journey Wasim has this moment of epiphany while looking at this huge garbage pile near Science City
Wasim: "Adeem, tera chance hai"
Me:"WTF are you talking about?"
Bear in mind, on a normal day Wasim would have retorted back with an abuse but since he was fasting during the month of Ramadan and I was not, cos of "issues" he decided to do the calm thing.
Wasim :"Arrey , you are in Marketing stream, most of the toppers are in Finance so you could do well and come in the top 10 of the marketing stream"
Me:"hahahahahahahahahah, chutia saala mera kaam nahin hai, sapna dekh"
Little did I know, this could have been my last conversation with one of my "best friends".
The bus ride ends and in between I have racked up more sins than a whore by abusing the shit out of a person fasting during the month of Ramadan while I am not even close to fasting myself, not only that, I make sure some crappy thought comes to his head but to protect himself from this vile creature he has learned one massive thing from me
"Your intentions [neeyat] must always be clean", I live by that rule and now so does he.
As we are getting off the bus I am supposed to follow the bugger across the road all because I decide to follow the correct manner to cross a street.
Look left, then right, then left and then cross the street, this has made me the joke of my class in college, which I don't mind one bit, crossing a street near my college is not easy though, cars, buses, autos, cycle rickshaws, tempos etc etc etc all can and will run over you.
So my friend tells me, as soon as I see him cross the street I should follow him, well this day I decide to do the same, while a state bus is like 30 meters away from us , a red santro is right next to the said bus, we have enough time to cross the road, since this is Calcutta , nothing is so easy and all off a sudden the bus decides to race the Santro, which would NOT BE PICKING UP ANY passengers , the Santro also wont back down and starts racing against the bus, Wasim somehow manages to slip in between the bus and the car with his bag barely scrapping through the gap.
Now its time for the fat one, I decide to jump back and let the things pass, but right behind me is this huge concrete divider , am stuck, am freaked out and am nervous like hell, the bus driver isn't trying to slow down as well, with a bit of luck I manage to use my left had to push myself and jump away from the bus which does stop a second later.
While the bus driver , Wasim and I spent 5 minutes rebuking each other and while I lay the blame completely on him, he just smoothly walks past saying "Its the bus driver's fault".
Then it hits me, when I was studying in Dubai, I was a straight A student in all subjects barring Hindi, hell I was a elocution champion for years at a stretch however as soon as I came back to Calcutta I started sucking at studies and well porn did corrupt me but so did football, this could have been the time [marketing 2nd year major] where I could have done something big and topped or something and just when Wasim blurts out what could happen, ie me doing well in the exams for once, I am almost killed by the same "friend" who said I can't cross a street by making me cross a street, woh dubla bach gaya, and I almost got ran over.
Two things come out from this
1:Wasim is a frenemy
2:The world does revolve around me.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
A year gone but nothing has changed
July 13th 2010 , the day after the 2010 world cup in South Africa and a new chapter in my life started with me going to my MBA college ,Globsyn Business School.
This post is me joining back after one year, especially after the end of the tumultuous and pathetic excuse of a summer internship I had, which did give me a lot of free time but certainly made me slog around like a whore trying to pay up to her pimp and I made more people upset than a man touching himself in front of a religious building.
Now everyone has completed their internship and its a norm to present what was done during this said 2 month job, companies are allotted randomly and people are treated like slaves to get shit work done. The first day of college starts and we get a nice lecture about how important the internship is and how much our presentation and word report counts as it could help us land some job.
Someone should have told me this before and then maybe I would have worked hard, anyways the day starts with more than half the students not coming to class, the few that did come got scared with a rumor floating about that presentations were to start today, hearing this a few more ran away, while I was safe in the knowledge that presentations cannot start today as we were not given a proper list of who is to present and when. Our presentations were to be completed a week back but still people have not even started their presentations.
While we are all laughing about what we did during our internship, our class door opens and 3 teachers walk in and while 2 of em were quite easy to deal with the 3rd one was "Ghajini" [read my earlier post about Ghajini]. The Sadist who knows more english than all the English combined was back and was he back with a vengeance. People were asked to volunteer and as usual no one would raise their hand, they did not want to get slaughtered on the first day of the 2nd year, while some people eventually did volunteer, I was forced to join along and I was supposed to be the 3rd presenter.
Ghajini was on a tear , asking people for their analysis reports of their work, he did not want the crap about the company profile and all. I had no analysis, hell I was made to work like a normal sales guy, no analysis at all. The Lord has funny ways to prove he is there, while all my friends know I could be in deep shit, just before I step up to present, ghajini leaves class and doesn't come back until after I am done.
After my presentation one of the teachers asked me
"What was your learning from this whole internship experience?"
I replied
"Ma'am, Office Politics and how to deal with em"
People laugh
Sir asks me
"Suppose Karim, you got selected in the company for a full time job....."
before he could complete his question I replied
"But Sir, we already told em we are not interested in the company or the job"
Laugh bitches laugh hard, I never lost the touch even after I was away for 3 months.
While my presentations went well enough, people got raped, proper rape, raped so hard like they show in those CSI shows where the person changes and probably will never be the same again, unable to express their feelings or talk to people for a few weeks or months, it was that bad during some presentations. I was snickering away like an arse not caring much for the sadistic rape that was occurring in front of my eyes, people were backing out of the presentations like asking for volunteers to work in Afghanistan.
Another thing apart from the internship is the presence of the new first years, cannon fodder in most colleges, ragging has completely been outlawed and rightly so, so now its called interaction sessions so that we get to know the kids better, while a few of my pals have come into the college as juniors, I don't have much time or scope to meet em up. So on the first day I am searching like a retard for my friend, going from class to class in search of him, I finally did find the junior section where my friend is studying, unfortunately he was not there. While I am leaving in a hurry to catch him at the canteen , a Sir calls me in from another class where presentations were on
"Karim, can you come here a second" , Sir says, in a hush hush tone
"Yes, sir?"
"Don't do anything", he tells me in a stern quite tone.
I laugh and tell him "Don't worry Sir, I am not ragging anyone, just searching for a friend"
The friend of mine who has joined is probably the biggest maagibaaz I know and the first thing he tells me is how he is friends with the hottest chick in the new batch who just happens to be muslim. Finally, I think, "Finally a hot chick who is muslim, maybe something good can come from this", so I meet with the friend outside the college and wouldn't you know it he introduces me to her, While we both exchanged Hello's , I was more focused on her "stats" while she didn't know what was going on, I didn't even get a good look at her face, dang it ,I could not come to a conclusion of her hotness but who cares, these interactions with females always end up like the skin on the faces of teenagers, not smooth at all.
Not smooth at all.
This post is me joining back after one year, especially after the end of the tumultuous and pathetic excuse of a summer internship I had, which did give me a lot of free time but certainly made me slog around like a whore trying to pay up to her pimp and I made more people upset than a man touching himself in front of a religious building.
Now everyone has completed their internship and its a norm to present what was done during this said 2 month job, companies are allotted randomly and people are treated like slaves to get shit work done. The first day of college starts and we get a nice lecture about how important the internship is and how much our presentation and word report counts as it could help us land some job.
Someone should have told me this before and then maybe I would have worked hard, anyways the day starts with more than half the students not coming to class, the few that did come got scared with a rumor floating about that presentations were to start today, hearing this a few more ran away, while I was safe in the knowledge that presentations cannot start today as we were not given a proper list of who is to present and when. Our presentations were to be completed a week back but still people have not even started their presentations.
While we are all laughing about what we did during our internship, our class door opens and 3 teachers walk in and while 2 of em were quite easy to deal with the 3rd one was "Ghajini" [read my earlier post about Ghajini]. The Sadist who knows more english than all the English combined was back and was he back with a vengeance. People were asked to volunteer and as usual no one would raise their hand, they did not want to get slaughtered on the first day of the 2nd year, while some people eventually did volunteer, I was forced to join along and I was supposed to be the 3rd presenter.
Ghajini was on a tear , asking people for their analysis reports of their work, he did not want the crap about the company profile and all. I had no analysis, hell I was made to work like a normal sales guy, no analysis at all. The Lord has funny ways to prove he is there, while all my friends know I could be in deep shit, just before I step up to present, ghajini leaves class and doesn't come back until after I am done.
After my presentation one of the teachers asked me
"What was your learning from this whole internship experience?"
I replied
"Ma'am, Office Politics and how to deal with em"
People laugh
Sir asks me
"Suppose Karim, you got selected in the company for a full time job....."
before he could complete his question I replied
"But Sir, we already told em we are not interested in the company or the job"
Laugh bitches laugh hard, I never lost the touch even after I was away for 3 months.
While my presentations went well enough, people got raped, proper rape, raped so hard like they show in those CSI shows where the person changes and probably will never be the same again, unable to express their feelings or talk to people for a few weeks or months, it was that bad during some presentations. I was snickering away like an arse not caring much for the sadistic rape that was occurring in front of my eyes, people were backing out of the presentations like asking for volunteers to work in Afghanistan.
Another thing apart from the internship is the presence of the new first years, cannon fodder in most colleges, ragging has completely been outlawed and rightly so, so now its called interaction sessions so that we get to know the kids better, while a few of my pals have come into the college as juniors, I don't have much time or scope to meet em up. So on the first day I am searching like a retard for my friend, going from class to class in search of him, I finally did find the junior section where my friend is studying, unfortunately he was not there. While I am leaving in a hurry to catch him at the canteen , a Sir calls me in from another class where presentations were on
"Karim, can you come here a second" , Sir says, in a hush hush tone
"Yes, sir?"
"Don't do anything", he tells me in a stern quite tone.
I laugh and tell him "Don't worry Sir, I am not ragging anyone, just searching for a friend"
The friend of mine who has joined is probably the biggest maagibaaz I know and the first thing he tells me is how he is friends with the hottest chick in the new batch who just happens to be muslim. Finally, I think, "Finally a hot chick who is muslim, maybe something good can come from this", so I meet with the friend outside the college and wouldn't you know it he introduces me to her, While we both exchanged Hello's , I was more focused on her "stats" while she didn't know what was going on, I didn't even get a good look at her face, dang it ,I could not come to a conclusion of her hotness but who cares, these interactions with females always end up like the skin on the faces of teenagers, not smooth at all.
Not smooth at all.
Monday, May 2, 2011
The Theory of Relativity
Almost 18 years ago , a certain Saiyed Adeem Karim started attending pre school, which was fun as the said lad had nothing much to do in school. Waste time away, play with a ton of toys, a little introduction of alphabets and numbers, nothing too strenuous.
School was not all that bad back then, it was fun , easy and most importantly fun, I know i put "fun" in twice, I can't remember what happened a few weeks ago let alone something that was almost 2 decades ago. The fact is that school was fun.
Then started the crap and oh dear lord how I started hating school, the homework , the heavy bag, the screwing me over with the timings, in Calcutta, school was from 7:30 AM till 1 PM, but in Dubai it was from 12:30 PM to 6:30 PM,my initial reaction was that of astonishment and resent as to how I would come back home on a regular basis after my dad and after the friggin sun sets.
Resentment, then came school in Calcutta , AGAIN, this time it was St Thomas Boys , most of the regular readers would know how much I was tormented and tortured during the initial years at STB and how I broke down into tears for the only time in my life due to some emotional crap that was thrown at me,when I was in STB , how much I missed the school in Dubai,Our Own English High School was heaven, literally and STB was hell, passing out of STB though was fun, I wont lie , STB taught me a lot and gave me my best friends, and of course taught me how to abuse ,kidderpore style.
Then came Techno India, college life promised so much and I ended up with almost 5% of what was promised, hot chicks? Nope, Cool Classes, BCA? WTF was I thinking?, Bunking? and go where? everything near college was miles away,Great Like minded FRIENDS?, just one, again I thank lord i found one of my best pals in this college as well,and now damn I missed STB and I still do , a lot, the only good thing to come out from the 3 years was Subhajit, one of my best pals and then the fact that I barely went to college in the 3rd year.
The came Globsyn, again I thank the lord I found my long lost brother here and a few brilliant friends, but again the whole MBA college being fun was a ton of crap and as usual I would have gone back to Techno India in a jiffy.
Now its summer internship time, first job of my life, and as usual the expectations don't match up to reality, work is hard, maybe because we are interns for like 2 months max but man work is hard, its barely enjoyable , although that could be because of the fact that I don't like working for real estate but still these 2 months are gonna be torturous there still is hope though as IF and a big IF I do go to an office or a job that I do like maybe life will be better and again as the topic says, life was better in the classrooms of GBS , the fun,madness and masti is totally missed.
Life often is portrayed in a different way and what we get is completely different , I always hated whatever institute I was in but as soon as I moved away from one place to another, the former place was always better than the latter, hence the theory of relativity proved!
Pre School > Primary School >STB >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> College life >College MBA life > Work?
Of course one thing I would like to point out,if I had a choice to go back to any of these phases,lets leave work out for the future, STB would be the one stage I would pick,that madness can and never will be repeated
STB STB!!
Jeet ke aaoge!
School was not all that bad back then, it was fun , easy and most importantly fun, I know i put "fun" in twice, I can't remember what happened a few weeks ago let alone something that was almost 2 decades ago. The fact is that school was fun.
Then started the crap and oh dear lord how I started hating school, the homework , the heavy bag, the screwing me over with the timings, in Calcutta, school was from 7:30 AM till 1 PM, but in Dubai it was from 12:30 PM to 6:30 PM,my initial reaction was that of astonishment and resent as to how I would come back home on a regular basis after my dad and after the friggin sun sets.
Resentment, then came school in Calcutta , AGAIN, this time it was St Thomas Boys , most of the regular readers would know how much I was tormented and tortured during the initial years at STB and how I broke down into tears for the only time in my life due to some emotional crap that was thrown at me,when I was in STB , how much I missed the school in Dubai,Our Own English High School was heaven, literally and STB was hell, passing out of STB though was fun, I wont lie , STB taught me a lot and gave me my best friends, and of course taught me how to abuse ,kidderpore style.
Then came Techno India, college life promised so much and I ended up with almost 5% of what was promised, hot chicks? Nope, Cool Classes, BCA? WTF was I thinking?, Bunking? and go where? everything near college was miles away,Great Like minded FRIENDS?, just one, again I thank lord i found one of my best pals in this college as well,and now damn I missed STB and I still do , a lot, the only good thing to come out from the 3 years was Subhajit, one of my best pals and then the fact that I barely went to college in the 3rd year.
The came Globsyn, again I thank the lord I found my long lost brother here and a few brilliant friends, but again the whole MBA college being fun was a ton of crap and as usual I would have gone back to Techno India in a jiffy.
Now its summer internship time, first job of my life, and as usual the expectations don't match up to reality, work is hard, maybe because we are interns for like 2 months max but man work is hard, its barely enjoyable , although that could be because of the fact that I don't like working for real estate but still these 2 months are gonna be torturous there still is hope though as IF and a big IF I do go to an office or a job that I do like maybe life will be better and again as the topic says, life was better in the classrooms of GBS , the fun,madness and masti is totally missed.
Life often is portrayed in a different way and what we get is completely different , I always hated whatever institute I was in but as soon as I moved away from one place to another, the former place was always better than the latter, hence the theory of relativity proved!
Pre School > Primary School >STB >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> College life >College MBA life > Work?
Of course one thing I would like to point out,if I had a choice to go back to any of these phases,lets leave work out for the future, STB would be the one stage I would pick,that madness can and never will be repeated
STB STB!!
Jeet ke aaoge!
Monday, April 4, 2011
Ode to a someone else's farewell part 1
A sense of Deja vu is on the cards after reading the title, but i am not rehashing old blogs with new flavor and pizazz, this farewell was for our seniors in my college, GBS.
Now let me set the situation up, a few weeks back a group of students out of the 150 odd first year students were to meet the principal and a few other teachers,naturally my name was on the list and i thought ,bah another princi parent meeting is on the cards, but along with me were quite a few toppers from my section as well as other sections, so i knew something was up.
The principal came as well as a few teachers and they asked us if we knew why we were called here, we replied no .Then they said "You are all selected as members of the Students Council" apparently it was a hard decision to make as many students wanted to be a part but the teachers chose us,the lucky few as we are called,the biggest surprise everyone in class got was with my selection,as usual my life goes,so much potential but so little conversion,not that i care about all this.
So the first piece of business for us was to set up a farewell for the seniors,this was the first project of the NEW students council,and we were to set up the budget and the date of the farewell plus plan everything in the damn show within a week,including getting the collection[chanda/hafta] call it as you please.
Now credit is to be given where credit is due,this guy in my class,Naveen and Dinesh have a ton of experience in all these events and they set everything up perfectly,but we had proposed a budget of around 50000 Rs,which we all knew we would never get.
We decided that all of the 150 students should pay up around 300 bucks,again most students were reluctant to pay as we told the teachers in the council,then we all were given 10 students each to get the dough from,a lot of coaxing and threatening later most of the students from my class paid up,some didnt and we had no hesitation to complain about them,perfect,we got on every students' bad books even before i got a chance to abuse certain people's mom's,dad's and generations.That's my luck.
So after 3-4 days of mad collections and threatens we did get the money , we got roughly 35000 Rs, which was 10000 Rs more than we expected to get from the students.
Then comes the question as to who is to be the emcee of the show,since i have pretty good communication skills and acting skills , i was the frontrunner even before the so called auditions were to take place.Now you must understand i am not the kind of guy who wants to do things that i like ripping on,for example i don't want to be the emcee because i wont be able to enjoy the show,ie abuse the shit out of my friends and the emcee who is hosting the show,so while all the teachers expected me to be the emcee,i backed out,much to the disappointment of the communications ma'am,who again let me know a few days later, how much i let people down,the up side of all this,well i didnt get to be the emcee and one of the most hated students in the college became the emcee and it was she,who speaks in some freaky convulated mixed finnish,german,bulgarian,swedish accent.
The day comes for the show and as usual all the student members are to help in setting up the stage,which means i can bunk class and get attendance,however again a lot of people were there to help us out,in fact the people who werent part of the council were working their ass off to make it special for the seniors,while of course chutias like Raju would just walk about and act like they were doing something but he was like a lot of other students trying to act cool to impress the chicks,bloody maagas.
Streamers being lined up and me sticking the bits to people's backsides and all,snapping pictures and making a complete fool of everyone is just the way to set things up for the big show,of course my good pal wasim was with me,fooling around and a few other people were working hard,the one bit was our dear love couple of college Sohini and Mriganka[a freaking manc] who said they would prepare something for the seniors,half an hour goes by and then i decide to see what the hell they were doing,locating them was easy but after seeing what they did or didn't do i could guess what they did for half an hour,all the "did" was stick one and i repeat one freaking poster,what else they did before this,i guess we have some idea about.
This is a pretty long post,so i have to break it up,now i know the build up might not have been that great,but oh man,believe me the SHOW was freaking amazing,not because of the amazing quality of performances,but rather a performance,actually 2 performances i will never forget
1:A complete demolition and desecration of Bryan Adams,i will never look at the guy in the same way again
2:The Prithwi Dance,who said Prithwi cant dance saala
Now let me set the situation up, a few weeks back a group of students out of the 150 odd first year students were to meet the principal and a few other teachers,naturally my name was on the list and i thought ,bah another princi parent meeting is on the cards, but along with me were quite a few toppers from my section as well as other sections, so i knew something was up.
The principal came as well as a few teachers and they asked us if we knew why we were called here, we replied no .Then they said "You are all selected as members of the Students Council" apparently it was a hard decision to make as many students wanted to be a part but the teachers chose us,the lucky few as we are called,the biggest surprise everyone in class got was with my selection,as usual my life goes,so much potential but so little conversion,not that i care about all this.
So the first piece of business for us was to set up a farewell for the seniors,this was the first project of the NEW students council,and we were to set up the budget and the date of the farewell plus plan everything in the damn show within a week,including getting the collection[chanda/hafta] call it as you please.
Now credit is to be given where credit is due,this guy in my class,Naveen and Dinesh have a ton of experience in all these events and they set everything up perfectly,but we had proposed a budget of around 50000 Rs,which we all knew we would never get.
We decided that all of the 150 students should pay up around 300 bucks,again most students were reluctant to pay as we told the teachers in the council,then we all were given 10 students each to get the dough from,a lot of coaxing and threatening later most of the students from my class paid up,some didnt and we had no hesitation to complain about them,perfect,we got on every students' bad books even before i got a chance to abuse certain people's mom's,dad's and generations.That's my luck.
So after 3-4 days of mad collections and threatens we did get the money , we got roughly 35000 Rs, which was 10000 Rs more than we expected to get from the students.
Then comes the question as to who is to be the emcee of the show,since i have pretty good communication skills and acting skills , i was the frontrunner even before the so called auditions were to take place.Now you must understand i am not the kind of guy who wants to do things that i like ripping on,for example i don't want to be the emcee because i wont be able to enjoy the show,ie abuse the shit out of my friends and the emcee who is hosting the show,so while all the teachers expected me to be the emcee,i backed out,much to the disappointment of the communications ma'am,who again let me know a few days later, how much i let people down,the up side of all this,well i didnt get to be the emcee and one of the most hated students in the college became the emcee and it was she,who speaks in some freaky convulated mixed finnish,german,bulgarian,swedish accent.
The day comes for the show and as usual all the student members are to help in setting up the stage,which means i can bunk class and get attendance,however again a lot of people were there to help us out,in fact the people who werent part of the council were working their ass off to make it special for the seniors,while of course chutias like Raju would just walk about and act like they were doing something but he was like a lot of other students trying to act cool to impress the chicks,bloody maagas.
Streamers being lined up and me sticking the bits to people's backsides and all,snapping pictures and making a complete fool of everyone is just the way to set things up for the big show,of course my good pal wasim was with me,fooling around and a few other people were working hard,the one bit was our dear love couple of college Sohini and Mriganka[a freaking manc] who said they would prepare something for the seniors,half an hour goes by and then i decide to see what the hell they were doing,locating them was easy but after seeing what they did or didn't do i could guess what they did for half an hour,all the "did" was stick one and i repeat one freaking poster,what else they did before this,i guess we have some idea about.
This is a pretty long post,so i have to break it up,now i know the build up might not have been that great,but oh man,believe me the SHOW was freaking amazing,not because of the amazing quality of performances,but rather a performance,actually 2 performances i will never forget
1:A complete demolition and desecration of Bryan Adams,i will never look at the guy in the same way again
2:The Prithwi Dance,who said Prithwi cant dance saala
Monday, October 12, 2009
Training Day
The movie of the same name was and still is one of the best movies i have seen to date which isnt a crude comedy[ala borat,bruno etc],infact it was so good that Denzel Washington got an Oscar for it,so it is a must see for people.Moving on ,this post obviously aint about a movie but about the fact that my "training" was about to commence,my college had set up some training thingy for al us BCA students with the help of HP[Hewlett Packard].Most of the bengalis were excited barring me and a few non bongs coz well at least i didnt want to travel half way across Calcutta for some shit hole training which i wouldnt be able to use at all in my life.
So the first thing to do was to decide what subjects training we would take,we had 2 choices Dot net and Java,as usual Sanket wanted to take Java for some God forsaken reason which i cannot remember,the majority wanted to take Dot net so you all know where i would go,and when almost everyone who Sanket knew opted for Dotnet he did the same.We had to go to this place in Karunamoyee near CK market to get the registration done and all.This was done in one day and this of course wasnt the part which got me oh so pissed that i had to post a blog bout it.
Most of us had to join some shitty Yahoo group so that we could get emails regarding all the information of training jobs etc provided by our college,now i dont check my email at all,maybe if i am bored to death i do but otherwise i done,so it was someone else who told me that our dates have been decided for the training i think it was Nikhil,i did get the mail from Nikita which in itself was a problem coz she wasnt in Calcutta at the time,fair enough i saw that my group,nikhil sandeep and i were all in D1 whose timings were as follows
Tuesday :4:30 Pm-6:30 Pm
Friday and Wednesday :9 Am-11 Am
Also written in the email was that training was to commence from the 7th of october
The 7th turned out to be a wednesday so off we went,the 3 amigos of college ,Sandy,nikh paji and the freak show[me],we reached the place at just the right time at 8:55 and entered the room where we were asked to come to,a lot of the students were seated eagerly waiting for something to happen,the 3 of us sat at the back as usual and were making stupid comments,cracking jokes the stuff we normally do,time was passing by 10 mins,20 mins,30 mins,passed,it became 10 Am then the door opened a bloke came in ,slammed a duster on the white board and left,
"Yay.....Magic" we screamed coz the duster wasnt coming off the board at all,stuck like your finger on the mouse when searching for porno,it became 10:15 then a lady came in [HOT PETITE CHICK!] and she said
"Sorry but you dont have class today......your timings have changed....its on saturday monday and tuesday from 2 Pm-4Pm"
WAIT WHAT?
I fucking woke up at 6 in the morning ,i went off to bed at 2 at nite,4 fucking hours of sleep and i had to fucking crap and eat my breakfast before 7 for some douche training,not only that i travelled half way across calcutta in the fucking morning takin me 1 hour to reach this douche place after which i had to walk around 15 mins to reach the fucking training centre and now oh miss pompous comes and tells us we DONT HAVE FUCKING TRAINING.
She then told us the timings had changed and that in anyway the training was to commence from Thursday and not from wednesday,pissed off as we were,we could not do anything but abuse[which as usual is my speciality],i reached home really pissed and all,but at least the timing was a little better and i would get the car for the duration of training,on the same day as soon as i reached home i got a message from Nikhil saying that the timing for training has changed ONCE AGAIN,now my training was only on Saturday from 9-4.....
Son of a bitch what the fuck is that timing?
I cant stay awake for more than 5 hours ,how the fuck am i gonna take this shit anyways?.Then sanket calls and tells me that he wont be goin for training at all coz its not important and that no one is gonna come to the first saturday of training[although this bugger had done 2 days of training already] i said i hadnt decided whether to go or not......he says that the instructor is a gujju[like him] who could be a relative and that it wasnt important ,he had asked the gujju whether we should come or not,nevertheless i did go on saturday again,sanket also did come even though he was hell bent on not coming.
Saturday comes again the same morning shit,again the same distance,again the same unprofessionalism ,we reached the college[now training was to commence there] but the lab where out training is to be is closed,we wait and wait and wait and we get the news that the HP trainers have also come but they dont have the keys to open the labs,the computer science department of our college does and they dont come to college before 10 AM,we reached college at 9 FUCK
When the labs were opened we got the petite teacher who came and told us
"you are going to have a test now,we want to gauge how much you know"
Fuck again i dont know jack bout anything in BCA its just by luck that i get 7.8 all the time,but then she also tells us that we can discuss and then write the answers,well our discussion [sandy nihk and mine] went from Object oriented programming to abusing bongs,abusing college,abusing the teachers,talking bout sex,talking bout chicks with large tits and how a petite chick is not what sandy likes at all.
The teach also told us that after the exam we were free to go and that there would not be any training today at all,so i went all the way just for some shit hole exam even where my attendance was not counted.
And people say that office goers arent punctual and are lazy,well so are the trainers and the whole fucking corporate structure,the only silver lining
out of all this is that the petite teacher is the only reason i am even contemplating attending the shit hole training.
FINGERS CROSSED
So the first thing to do was to decide what subjects training we would take,we had 2 choices Dot net and Java,as usual Sanket wanted to take Java for some God forsaken reason which i cannot remember,the majority wanted to take Dot net so you all know where i would go,and when almost everyone who Sanket knew opted for Dotnet he did the same.We had to go to this place in Karunamoyee near CK market to get the registration done and all.This was done in one day and this of course wasnt the part which got me oh so pissed that i had to post a blog bout it.
Most of us had to join some shitty Yahoo group so that we could get emails regarding all the information of training jobs etc provided by our college,now i dont check my email at all,maybe if i am bored to death i do but otherwise i done,so it was someone else who told me that our dates have been decided for the training i think it was Nikhil,i did get the mail from Nikita which in itself was a problem coz she wasnt in Calcutta at the time,fair enough i saw that my group,nikhil sandeep and i were all in D1 whose timings were as follows
Tuesday :4:30 Pm-6:30 Pm
Friday and Wednesday :9 Am-11 Am
Also written in the email was that training was to commence from the 7th of october
The 7th turned out to be a wednesday so off we went,the 3 amigos of college ,Sandy,nikh paji and the freak show[me],we reached the place at just the right time at 8:55 and entered the room where we were asked to come to,a lot of the students were seated eagerly waiting for something to happen,the 3 of us sat at the back as usual and were making stupid comments,cracking jokes the stuff we normally do,time was passing by 10 mins,20 mins,30 mins,passed,it became 10 Am then the door opened a bloke came in ,slammed a duster on the white board and left,
"Yay.....Magic" we screamed coz the duster wasnt coming off the board at all,stuck like your finger on the mouse when searching for porno,it became 10:15 then a lady came in [HOT PETITE CHICK!] and she said
"Sorry but you dont have class today......your timings have changed....its on saturday monday and tuesday from 2 Pm-4Pm"
WAIT WHAT?
I fucking woke up at 6 in the morning ,i went off to bed at 2 at nite,4 fucking hours of sleep and i had to fucking crap and eat my breakfast before 7 for some douche training,not only that i travelled half way across calcutta in the fucking morning takin me 1 hour to reach this douche place after which i had to walk around 15 mins to reach the fucking training centre and now oh miss pompous comes and tells us we DONT HAVE FUCKING TRAINING.
She then told us the timings had changed and that in anyway the training was to commence from Thursday and not from wednesday,pissed off as we were,we could not do anything but abuse[which as usual is my speciality],i reached home really pissed and all,but at least the timing was a little better and i would get the car for the duration of training,on the same day as soon as i reached home i got a message from Nikhil saying that the timing for training has changed ONCE AGAIN,now my training was only on Saturday from 9-4.....
Son of a bitch what the fuck is that timing?
I cant stay awake for more than 5 hours ,how the fuck am i gonna take this shit anyways?.Then sanket calls and tells me that he wont be goin for training at all coz its not important and that no one is gonna come to the first saturday of training[although this bugger had done 2 days of training already] i said i hadnt decided whether to go or not......he says that the instructor is a gujju[like him] who could be a relative and that it wasnt important ,he had asked the gujju whether we should come or not,nevertheless i did go on saturday again,sanket also did come even though he was hell bent on not coming.
Saturday comes again the same morning shit,again the same distance,again the same unprofessionalism ,we reached the college[now training was to commence there] but the lab where out training is to be is closed,we wait and wait and wait and we get the news that the HP trainers have also come but they dont have the keys to open the labs,the computer science department of our college does and they dont come to college before 10 AM,we reached college at 9 FUCK
When the labs were opened we got the petite teacher who came and told us
"you are going to have a test now,we want to gauge how much you know"
Fuck again i dont know jack bout anything in BCA its just by luck that i get 7.8 all the time,but then she also tells us that we can discuss and then write the answers,well our discussion [sandy nihk and mine] went from Object oriented programming to abusing bongs,abusing college,abusing the teachers,talking bout sex,talking bout chicks with large tits and how a petite chick is not what sandy likes at all.
The teach also told us that after the exam we were free to go and that there would not be any training today at all,so i went all the way just for some shit hole exam even where my attendance was not counted.
And people say that office goers arent punctual and are lazy,well so are the trainers and the whole fucking corporate structure,the only silver lining
out of all this is that the petite teacher is the only reason i am even contemplating attending the shit hole training.
FINGERS CROSSED
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