A year of really hard work, not that people get appreciated most of the time in a crazy busy office, we all need time to relax and enjoy. That is what weekends are for, this according to my cousin sister who is all but 10 years old.
"Ding" goes my inbox , "You have received a new mail", "God damn it, must be more work, Fuck did I miss something", rings around in my head. Bloody hell , that too on a thursday,
"Time to rock and roll guys, our Marketing party is on Friday at xyz place"
Its time to gangnam style , is all going on in my mind now.
Yes the annual marketing party was all set recently, a huge event with all the big honchos from our department were to com and have a crazy night of fun.
A night to relax, forget about the brand, work, sales and obviously owning people in the office because the office is not a place where people work, rather its a dog eat tiger world, where we are just trying to save our asses and pass the buck around but lets not dwell on that, not tonight.
The party was set for a friday evening, as pre parties go, everyone was given something to do, this was a marketing party so no other teams were involved, just the marketing guys and girls, which were just a handful of women, not too many of them sadly.
Not one soul was working that day, even my boss was taking it easy, too easy even for him (relatively cool guy, does not get flustered or freak out at the madness that occurs in the office), he and a few others were planning on the games that were to take place on that day, while me and manish (bro in office) weren't even asked about the party let alone given menial jobs, which were passed on to others.
So no one was working for the company but rather for the party, come evening everything gets into place,party was to start from 8:30, Manish ran home to feed his dogs and left me here to deal with a colleague who was going crazy as she needed a few large posters printed, she wakes up suddenly at 7 PM and asks me to get the prints, which normally does happen in our office but as fate would have it, the printer was fucking broke on this day, "Shit fuck" I think to myself, she goes ballistic and asks me to go to some random seedy cyber cafe, "I am so not doing that, fuck it"
So I don't go to the place, sit idle , hidden away from the look of most people, get a couple of color prints which are smaller than the required size, go up to her and say "No prints, no cafe's open, what can we do?", she looks up and is flustered, calls a couple of people up but to no avail,
TA-Fucking-DA, lady, I got a couple of color prints, not the correct size and she is so happy like she just got promoted "Thanks a ton", smile and I walk away like a champion, she runs off to the party since she has the posters and the music , yes Gangnam Style was in the playlist, of course I provided it and yes I did dance to it but that is coming up later.
Walking back up to my floor, I see a couple of my colleagues waiting to go to the party, since a female Neha is present we decide to all go together, so while we are using the lift to leave the offce, Neha suddenly goes and walks towards a chinese stall, since her superior suddenly requires us to get like 20 plates of chicken momo's, while she already is carrying a ton of vege fried stuff , she now has to go and get this, while she did order this before hand when we did reach the eatery, they still are making it and are trying to pack it, 20 more minutes pass and its 9 PM.
Phones start ringing and people start shouting as to where the fuck am I, well only my friends from the office call but nevertheless you need the bonbon at the party, getting a cab from office at night is another issue with them bastards refusing to take you anywhere, we finally get a cab with the four of us stuffing inside and somehow reaching the destination, late and we enter the flat where the party is being held at 9:30 PM, as soon as I enter my super boss looks at me and goes
"Tu yahaan bhi time mein nahin pahuch sakta?"
Bloody hell, I was late for the food not because I did not want to be late,
"Sir, I had to get this food, nahin toh main late nahin hota"
But no one cared that we were late, got the food just in time, Now I am hungry as fuck and I need to eat something, so I wander about and see one plate with a few chicken kababs, randomly I pick it up, stuff my face with it and then see whose plate it was
It was the CEO's, bloody hell, "I am so getting fired in the morning", I think but then maybe he did not see me, slowly I slip away and sneak into the kitchen where now I start stuffing myself with a lot of chicken products, (yay) drums of heaven , fucking owned the place and then the games started, hosted by my boss, get in!
Stay tuned for part 2 of THE PARTY.......
Friday, December 21, 2012
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Spit-ology
We Indians are not the cleanest bunch of people in the world, we all have that one relative who will constantly cough right into your face and be unapologetic about it, a relative who will be literally inches from you and then decide to rip out this huge belch where we would get to know what he not only had for lunch but also for breakfast and last night's dinner, lets not get into the great leveller Uncle Fartolomew , the Frances Duke of Flatulence.
Yes we have a lot to work on, especially when we do meet up with people from other countries, there we stick out like sore thumbs with our fingers right up our nostrils trying to find that elusive gold coin or the lost city of Atlantis, coming back from a country where we had a fine of roughly 6500 Rs (500 AED) for a simple crime as littering, it is hard to see almost everyone blow away millions by just trashing the place about, of course we have no laws per se to catch these offenders and try them, hell we even defecate in the open and are fucking brazen about it.
"Commit no nuisance here", its a hard laugh for me to see such signs pasted on walls trying to make sure people do not piss about, which of course never works. People throw the trash right on the street where they live, the stench is unbearable still they have no issues with it, it is so pathetic to see people just throw rubbish on the road, wrappers, paper, etc and not wait for a dustbin which again we rarely have on the streets, we make corners of streets as our garbage disposal area.
One thing that really irks me is this habit of spitting about, spitting has got to be one of the worst possible things to do out in the open , apart from defecation of course, the reason for spitting ranges from eating the Paan or Gutka, red spit, then there is the colored spit, yellow or greenish because you have a cold and of course the impressive White spit showing that "Thou shalt spit for no reason whatsoever", we don't need saliva in our mouths at all, another useless bit of liquid in our mouths.
Grown men openly spit like its their land, which again they should not be allowed to do, they stop cars in the middle of the road, roll the window down and spit a brilliant hue of red. Of course we have to be careful while we pass beneath a bus, a lot of my friends have been spit upon and have even taken action by beating said offender up, again India, shine and shine.
I don't understand the need to spit at all, its a disgusting act and well half of the walls in buildings get a ting of red, course of spitting, grown men only do it? I was walking down a street today and saw a couple of 5 year old kids patting a goat (Eid) and all of a sudden one of the kid's spits on the road for no reason at all. The problem is we do not catch problems early enough and don't teach proper hygiene to our kids. Kids being kids will always copy what their "much wiser" elders do and hence we in India have this huge spit-army ready for the next battle against clean buildings and roads, bring it on.
PS: My office has a no spitting policy basically it says as soon as you enter the gates and the garage
"Anybody found spitting on the premises will be dismissed IMMEDIATELY"
That is how it should be, anyone found spitting anywhere should be fined 5000 Rs on the spot or even better made to clean his own spit from the roadside, then only will people learn and try to keep the city clean. One spit at a time?
Yes we have a lot to work on, especially when we do meet up with people from other countries, there we stick out like sore thumbs with our fingers right up our nostrils trying to find that elusive gold coin or the lost city of Atlantis, coming back from a country where we had a fine of roughly 6500 Rs (500 AED) for a simple crime as littering, it is hard to see almost everyone blow away millions by just trashing the place about, of course we have no laws per se to catch these offenders and try them, hell we even defecate in the open and are fucking brazen about it.
"Commit no nuisance here", its a hard laugh for me to see such signs pasted on walls trying to make sure people do not piss about, which of course never works. People throw the trash right on the street where they live, the stench is unbearable still they have no issues with it, it is so pathetic to see people just throw rubbish on the road, wrappers, paper, etc and not wait for a dustbin which again we rarely have on the streets, we make corners of streets as our garbage disposal area.
One thing that really irks me is this habit of spitting about, spitting has got to be one of the worst possible things to do out in the open , apart from defecation of course, the reason for spitting ranges from eating the Paan or Gutka, red spit, then there is the colored spit, yellow or greenish because you have a cold and of course the impressive White spit showing that "Thou shalt spit for no reason whatsoever", we don't need saliva in our mouths at all, another useless bit of liquid in our mouths.
Grown men openly spit like its their land, which again they should not be allowed to do, they stop cars in the middle of the road, roll the window down and spit a brilliant hue of red. Of course we have to be careful while we pass beneath a bus, a lot of my friends have been spit upon and have even taken action by beating said offender up, again India, shine and shine.
I don't understand the need to spit at all, its a disgusting act and well half of the walls in buildings get a ting of red, course of spitting, grown men only do it? I was walking down a street today and saw a couple of 5 year old kids patting a goat (Eid) and all of a sudden one of the kid's spits on the road for no reason at all. The problem is we do not catch problems early enough and don't teach proper hygiene to our kids. Kids being kids will always copy what their "much wiser" elders do and hence we in India have this huge spit-army ready for the next battle against clean buildings and roads, bring it on.
PS: My office has a no spitting policy basically it says as soon as you enter the gates and the garage
"Anybody found spitting on the premises will be dismissed IMMEDIATELY"
That is how it should be, anyone found spitting anywhere should be fined 5000 Rs on the spot or even better made to clean his own spit from the roadside, then only will people learn and try to keep the city clean. One spit at a time?
Sunday, October 21, 2012
The Queen's Language
A few years back I was brought back into this city and the first day of school was a torrid affair as you all should know by now, yes the same school gave me a million stories to talk about in great detail and probably made my school life something which only a handful of people can imagine it to be. Crazy teachers, stories, students, fights, etc, it goes on and I like always am glad now that I was part of the history that is STB.
One thing still stands out more than anything else was the language of communication, while I was studying in the school, it was an absolute no no to communicate in English, not even abuse a bloke in English, while it was the norm to sing songs , scream , shout and abuse about in the vernacular language, hell I must admit, I picked up a ton of crazy abuses because of this and yeah to be fair abusing someone in Hindi or Bengali is way more fun than using a Mother fucker or Bitch in English.
I was heckled almost on a daily basis by the rest of the gang, not my best pals because they knew english back then but always communicated in the other languages, I was a constant target with nicknames like "Dubai" or "Saudi" not only because I mostly spoke in English but also because I came back to India after a few good years in Dubai and no , Dubai is NOT part of Saudi Arabia.
Now however it seems everyone has jumped on the English bandwagon and the same people who heckled the shit out of me for speaking something else , now only want to communicate in English, its not because they have had a sudden realization that without them knowing English they wont be able to communicate with a vast majority of people but rather to impress women so that they can come up with catchphrases like
"Cool man, wassup dude"
or
"Yo mama, you looking so hot tonite"
and then I am not a grammar nazi but Jesus some of the things I get to hear
"Definitely , I will come to your house yesterday"
really?
Its at times like these that it pains me to point out some people are actually part of the same batch that passed out as I did. dont get me wrong, I am not embarrassed that some of my class mates still cannot speak english well, what does piss me off is this sudden realization that English has to be a part of life and that just speaking in Hindi anymore is not "cool" or wont help anyone be a "chick magnet", ruddy show offs.
So now when some of the others still do try to speak to us, we [ the gang of 5] always speak in Hindi or in Bengali, no need for English, we are what we are and you cant change that, so please FFS keep that "English realization" away from us, we are STB, we ruled English before it became cool, so get back to the Hindi convos online and off and we can all be happy and not make more grammar nazi errors.
One thing still stands out more than anything else was the language of communication, while I was studying in the school, it was an absolute no no to communicate in English, not even abuse a bloke in English, while it was the norm to sing songs , scream , shout and abuse about in the vernacular language, hell I must admit, I picked up a ton of crazy abuses because of this and yeah to be fair abusing someone in Hindi or Bengali is way more fun than using a Mother fucker or Bitch in English.
I was heckled almost on a daily basis by the rest of the gang, not my best pals because they knew english back then but always communicated in the other languages, I was a constant target with nicknames like "Dubai" or "Saudi" not only because I mostly spoke in English but also because I came back to India after a few good years in Dubai and no , Dubai is NOT part of Saudi Arabia.
Now however it seems everyone has jumped on the English bandwagon and the same people who heckled the shit out of me for speaking something else , now only want to communicate in English, its not because they have had a sudden realization that without them knowing English they wont be able to communicate with a vast majority of people but rather to impress women so that they can come up with catchphrases like
"Cool man, wassup dude"
or
"Yo mama, you looking so hot tonite"
and then I am not a grammar nazi but Jesus some of the things I get to hear
"Definitely , I will come to your house yesterday"
really?
Its at times like these that it pains me to point out some people are actually part of the same batch that passed out as I did. dont get me wrong, I am not embarrassed that some of my class mates still cannot speak english well, what does piss me off is this sudden realization that English has to be a part of life and that just speaking in Hindi anymore is not "cool" or wont help anyone be a "chick magnet", ruddy show offs.
So now when some of the others still do try to speak to us, we [ the gang of 5] always speak in Hindi or in Bengali, no need for English, we are what we are and you cant change that, so please FFS keep that "English realization" away from us, we are STB, we ruled English before it became cool, so get back to the Hindi convos online and off and we can all be happy and not make more grammar nazi errors.
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Boom Boom Gangnam Style
Every so often a video is posted on youtube which gets a crazy number of hits, from Rebecca Black's "Friday" to watching a collection of celebrations from a first division Scandinavian football team, the videos don't have to be "amazing" in a good way, Rebecca can attest to that.
This time, well the video for this month and probably for the last month has got to be PSY's "Gangnam Style", a bizarre video from South Korea famous for kind of retarded dancing, riding a horse, lassoing and then the guy in lift, plus the dance off. "HEEEEEEYYYY SEXA LAAAYYYYYYDAAAAA", is what Psy says during one of the verses of the song, its a huge hit on youtube, people on India are going gaga over it and finally know what a real "viral" video is. To be fair its good for the rapper, a huge star in Korea (South) , he is getting the due credit he deserves with a few trips to America, he came on the Ellen Degeneres show and taught the dance move to Britney Spears and Elen, Simon Cowell was there as well and he actually was not a dick to Psy.
Psy is also going to perform in today's Korean GP, which again is a landmark for him to hit the international stage, sure we don't get the lyrics, logic and well anything from the video except that dance move and well that kid who dances like MJ at the start of the video and well hot Korean women, stick figures nevertheless, I like meat on a woman, personal taste.
Please do catch the video here is you have not seen it yet.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bZkp7q19f0
Coming back to the real point of the post, which has come 45 days since my last one, don't ask, work has been real tough, we all seem to love talent outside the subcontinent but we have just as great and talented folk on this China.
I found this video in the year 2011, before the cricket world cup, I hate cricket but loved this video, the sheer awesomeness of the lyrics, the music and well the singing and dancing made my day.
Do note, not one image of the Indian cricket team is portrayed in the song and well India did win that world cup, so there you go, you could not jinx us at all, especially for all my Pakistani friends, this is the real and original video which should have gone viral but did not.
I present to you
P.S: The song last longer than Boom Boom Afridi does while batting.
This time, well the video for this month and probably for the last month has got to be PSY's "Gangnam Style", a bizarre video from South Korea famous for kind of retarded dancing, riding a horse, lassoing and then the guy in lift, plus the dance off. "HEEEEEEYYYY SEXA LAAAYYYYYYDAAAAA", is what Psy says during one of the verses of the song, its a huge hit on youtube, people on India are going gaga over it and finally know what a real "viral" video is. To be fair its good for the rapper, a huge star in Korea (South) , he is getting the due credit he deserves with a few trips to America, he came on the Ellen Degeneres show and taught the dance move to Britney Spears and Elen, Simon Cowell was there as well and he actually was not a dick to Psy.
Psy is also going to perform in today's Korean GP, which again is a landmark for him to hit the international stage, sure we don't get the lyrics, logic and well anything from the video except that dance move and well that kid who dances like MJ at the start of the video and well hot Korean women, stick figures nevertheless, I like meat on a woman, personal taste.
Please do catch the video here is you have not seen it yet.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bZkp7q19f0
Coming back to the real point of the post, which has come 45 days since my last one, don't ask, work has been real tough, we all seem to love talent outside the subcontinent but we have just as great and talented folk on this China.
I found this video in the year 2011, before the cricket world cup, I hate cricket but loved this video, the sheer awesomeness of the lyrics, the music and well the singing and dancing made my day.
Do note, not one image of the Indian cricket team is portrayed in the song and well India did win that world cup, so there you go, you could not jinx us at all, especially for all my Pakistani friends, this is the real and original video which should have gone viral but did not.
I present to you
P.S: The song last longer than Boom Boom Afridi does while batting.
Friday, August 31, 2012
4055
I have not had the greatest of stories to tell from my office, till now. This was a day never to be forgotten, first all my bosses were away on tour leaving me to do some much needed trolling before I have my review.
The morning started like any other office morning, checking a ton of emails and just getting pissed at some idiots who either fucked up or sweating my balls off if I made some error. However, today was a day not to be concerned about projects, artworks, dpns etc etc etc, this was the day, Manish, one of my besties from THE OFFICE shone like a bright beacon and brought about a ton of laughter and craziness.
#This really did feel like a kickass episode from the office where people owned Dwight or Gareth #
So there is this person working in office called Arjun, seems like a typical humourless office nerd, thin, bespectacled , short, the typical guy you would pick on in office.
Manish has had a kick ass time owning this guy, once he was staring at soap noodles, things that are used to make soaps,
Arjun: What is this?
Manish : These are soap noodles.
Arjun : So what do you do with them?
Manish : You eat them and then the next morning when you take a shit, you get a bar of soap out of your ass
Arjun : .............
Manish : Hahahahahahaha (walk away)
Recently we got our extension phones for the internal communication, Manish had been searching for just one guys number, that is right, Arjun, unfortunately his name was not on the list of numbers provided to us, saddened but certainly not broken, he found a novel way of searching for the number, off he went through his emails
Me :What the hell are you doing?
Manish : Dude, that guy had taken over from someone, (reads one email and gets the number of the guy he took over from)
NOW STARTS THE FUN
The number comes out to be 4055, in a jiff Manish calls him up
Manish : IS this Arjun Roy?
Arjun: Yes it is
Manish : Ok (slams the phone down)
We all burst into laughter
A few minutes later we get Neha , another of our colleagues who is part of the group to call up Arjun, initially she was a little reluctant but how can you resist some craziness in the office?
So she calls him up
Neha : Hello?
Arjun : Hello.
Neha : Please provide 4 cups of coffee at the 12th floor (Slams the phone)
We all laugh extra hard, since there are only 11 floors in our building. We actually had to stop this tirade and work for us to stop laughing like some crazy hyenas .
I had to tell Manish to calm down and let him live or he would write a mail the next day stating he would not require the extension line.
Manish though was not done, now he did not target Arjun on his extension, instead he called Arjun via his own extension on Arjun's mobile number, as soon as Arjun picked up the call since it was the office number , Manish goes "MEOOOOWWWWWW".
Mad laughter issues once again.
I can't face Arjun ever again without bursting into laughter, its craziness, its madness, its what I want my office to be, every damn day.
As I leave my office, I pick up the phone and dial in 4055,
Arjun : Hello
Me : Laughs and slams the phone.
Goes over to his floor, with Manish, looks at him, bursts into laughter and heads home.
A proper trolltastic day at the office
The morning started like any other office morning, checking a ton of emails and just getting pissed at some idiots who either fucked up or sweating my balls off if I made some error. However, today was a day not to be concerned about projects, artworks, dpns etc etc etc, this was the day, Manish, one of my besties from THE OFFICE shone like a bright beacon and brought about a ton of laughter and craziness.
#This really did feel like a kickass episode from the office where people owned Dwight or Gareth #
So there is this person working in office called Arjun, seems like a typical humourless office nerd, thin, bespectacled , short, the typical guy you would pick on in office.
Manish has had a kick ass time owning this guy, once he was staring at soap noodles, things that are used to make soaps,
Arjun: What is this?
Manish : These are soap noodles.
Arjun : So what do you do with them?
Manish : You eat them and then the next morning when you take a shit, you get a bar of soap out of your ass
Arjun : .............
Manish : Hahahahahahaha (walk away)
Recently we got our extension phones for the internal communication, Manish had been searching for just one guys number, that is right, Arjun, unfortunately his name was not on the list of numbers provided to us, saddened but certainly not broken, he found a novel way of searching for the number, off he went through his emails
Me :What the hell are you doing?
Manish : Dude, that guy had taken over from someone, (reads one email and gets the number of the guy he took over from)
NOW STARTS THE FUN
The number comes out to be 4055, in a jiff Manish calls him up
Manish : IS this Arjun Roy?
Arjun: Yes it is
Manish : Ok (slams the phone down)
We all burst into laughter
A few minutes later we get Neha , another of our colleagues who is part of the group to call up Arjun, initially she was a little reluctant but how can you resist some craziness in the office?
So she calls him up
Neha : Hello?
Arjun : Hello.
Neha : Please provide 4 cups of coffee at the 12th floor (Slams the phone)
We all laugh extra hard, since there are only 11 floors in our building. We actually had to stop this tirade and work for us to stop laughing like some crazy hyenas .
I had to tell Manish to calm down and let him live or he would write a mail the next day stating he would not require the extension line.
Manish though was not done, now he did not target Arjun on his extension, instead he called Arjun via his own extension on Arjun's mobile number, as soon as Arjun picked up the call since it was the office number , Manish goes "MEOOOOWWWWWW".
Mad laughter issues once again.
I can't face Arjun ever again without bursting into laughter, its craziness, its madness, its what I want my office to be, every damn day.
As I leave my office, I pick up the phone and dial in 4055,
Arjun : Hello
Me : Laughs and slams the phone.
Goes over to his floor, with Manish, looks at him, bursts into laughter and heads home.
A proper trolltastic day at the office
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Serious advise
I am the last person on earth from whom you should or would take advise but over the past couple of months, at least since I started working, epiphanies have been hitting me like a goalie gets hammered by some slap shots in a game of hockey ( yes I do love ICE hockey), anyways here are 3 important things to take note off and please do take them seriously, have been screaming these points repeatedly to people I meet, especially my niece who is thinking about a career.
1: LOVE YOUR SCHOOL DAYS : While most of the core group of readers would have already started attending college, if you are one of the few lucky people still in school, cherish every damn moment of it. Trust me, when I was young all I wanted to do was leave school and go to college/work, let me hit you straight, there is nothing better than school, love them assignments, love them exams, the worst that could happen to you there was a bit of a scolding but you would be off the next day. "Work" ended for you at 3 PM max, ok in the more important years it would be a little longer but your weekends were free, summer vacations were vacations and well you would have time for something called life.
Love school, don't pass attending everyday of school, you get hundreds of moments, make every day count, these days WILL NEVER RETURN AGAIN.
2: DO NOT PURSUE AN MBA FOR THE SAKE OF IT: Hell this goes out for almost every whoring post grad/grad course us Indians want, engineering, doctors and MBA's. The country is over run with them and if you do it from a college which is not elitist to say, you are fucked, paid low, worked more and given absolutely no respect. MBA's are a dime a dozen, do something which you actually want to do, even if it means starting with a lower package, the biggest obstacle is society but fuck that, its better than suffering later on, cursing every week day plus the work culture in India sucks as it is, 6 work days and all.
Another something like 40 years more of this work life for me, damn it.
3: WORK IS NOT ITS CRACKED UP TO BE: Talked about this in an earlier post, work is not as fun as it should be, especially when you are a young kid with no experience, just try and get into some domain which interests you else you are getting jacked on a regular basis because you are on the lowest point in the food chain and well everyone will eat you up for even the most smallest of errors.
The day I get a junior working under me, its gonna be a tragic life cycle for that junior, that's a certainly, all the anger is going to flow out like the puss that oozes out from a huge pimple on your face.
1: LOVE YOUR SCHOOL DAYS : While most of the core group of readers would have already started attending college, if you are one of the few lucky people still in school, cherish every damn moment of it. Trust me, when I was young all I wanted to do was leave school and go to college/work, let me hit you straight, there is nothing better than school, love them assignments, love them exams, the worst that could happen to you there was a bit of a scolding but you would be off the next day. "Work" ended for you at 3 PM max, ok in the more important years it would be a little longer but your weekends were free, summer vacations were vacations and well you would have time for something called life.
Love school, don't pass attending everyday of school, you get hundreds of moments, make every day count, these days WILL NEVER RETURN AGAIN.
2: DO NOT PURSUE AN MBA FOR THE SAKE OF IT: Hell this goes out for almost every whoring post grad/grad course us Indians want, engineering, doctors and MBA's. The country is over run with them and if you do it from a college which is not elitist to say, you are fucked, paid low, worked more and given absolutely no respect. MBA's are a dime a dozen, do something which you actually want to do, even if it means starting with a lower package, the biggest obstacle is society but fuck that, its better than suffering later on, cursing every week day plus the work culture in India sucks as it is, 6 work days and all.
Another something like 40 years more of this work life for me, damn it.
3: WORK IS NOT ITS CRACKED UP TO BE: Talked about this in an earlier post, work is not as fun as it should be, especially when you are a young kid with no experience, just try and get into some domain which interests you else you are getting jacked on a regular basis because you are on the lowest point in the food chain and well everyone will eat you up for even the most smallest of errors.
The day I get a junior working under me, its gonna be a tragic life cycle for that junior, that's a certainly, all the anger is going to flow out like the puss that oozes out from a huge pimple on your face.
Saturday, August 11, 2012
August 18th, WE RISE!
Not that its going to be a political movement that has wrapped this nation into this KFC twister that you just can't swallow cause it is bland and tasteless and basically pointless to eat[ when compared to the awesome zinger that is, never would I sully KFC's name at all or quality].
18th August will be a date to remember for most people like me, not the perverts but the football lovers.
The Premier League or the "Barclays Premier League" is to start, which means late nights watching that 11PM/ 2AM saturday night game, watching my beloved Liverpool come back to life and action weekend in weekend out, making sure my social life comes to a halt for almost 8 months making sure that I do not wander out during any of Liverpool's games and make sure I have no parties/family gatherings etc on saturday and sundays.
The season is going to have an adverse effect on me especially every monday, IF we play well and win, no issues I know its going to be a kickass weekend and at least would be able to shut people up at the office, not that a lot of office folk follow football since this is a cricket crazy nation, heaven forbid if we lose, I would not come online for a couple of days, not follow any sports section in the news and for sure I would not even watch any sports channel [Cue sportscenter and the likes talking about a poor performance]
On the bright side, at least my weekends will have some meaning and I will at least look forward to them apart from being an escape from office , a little bit of a break from the normal routine I have had for almost 3 months now with no football, yes formula 1 can cut in and make a difference but Football is football. Another positive to come is that all my anger, darkness, frustration [in the batman voice] will be out on display for the whole world, facebook and all as well as my parents to see, remember dad coming in to charge his cell at 2 AM, Yossi scores against Fulham in the 94th minutes and I go berserk.
Also every single football fan will become a manager for every single day of the season, every decision will be nitpicked and discussed over internet forums for weeks on ends, crazy amounts of abuse will be thrown around, nonsensical reasons will pop out, history will be re-written, brought up and abused like an amateur bdsm model.
Yes the season is about to begin, families will be forgotten, women all but negated and friendships will be tested over the course of 8 months.
Thank God for Football.
ITS TIME TO RISE
BRING ON AUGUST 18TH
18th August will be a date to remember for most people like me, not the perverts but the football lovers.
The Premier League or the "Barclays Premier League" is to start, which means late nights watching that 11PM/ 2AM saturday night game, watching my beloved Liverpool come back to life and action weekend in weekend out, making sure my social life comes to a halt for almost 8 months making sure that I do not wander out during any of Liverpool's games and make sure I have no parties/family gatherings etc on saturday and sundays.
The season is going to have an adverse effect on me especially every monday, IF we play well and win, no issues I know its going to be a kickass weekend and at least would be able to shut people up at the office, not that a lot of office folk follow football since this is a cricket crazy nation, heaven forbid if we lose, I would not come online for a couple of days, not follow any sports section in the news and for sure I would not even watch any sports channel [Cue sportscenter and the likes talking about a poor performance]
On the bright side, at least my weekends will have some meaning and I will at least look forward to them apart from being an escape from office , a little bit of a break from the normal routine I have had for almost 3 months now with no football, yes formula 1 can cut in and make a difference but Football is football. Another positive to come is that all my anger, darkness, frustration [in the batman voice] will be out on display for the whole world, facebook and all as well as my parents to see, remember dad coming in to charge his cell at 2 AM, Yossi scores against Fulham in the 94th minutes and I go berserk.
Also every single football fan will become a manager for every single day of the season, every decision will be nitpicked and discussed over internet forums for weeks on ends, crazy amounts of abuse will be thrown around, nonsensical reasons will pop out, history will be re-written, brought up and abused like an amateur bdsm model.
Yes the season is about to begin, families will be forgotten, women all but negated and friendships will be tested over the course of 8 months.
Thank God for Football.
ITS TIME TO RISE
BRING ON AUGUST 18TH
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
The tipping point, walking the plank and all that jazz
My last post would have given an indication of what is to come in the future, friends be going off to unknown lands, again to explore and learn about themselves and explore the world and expand their horizons.
So it is quite obvious, apart form the sleepover there would be the oh so spectacular night out. Normally confined to the weekend, we decided to move this party along to the greatest day of the week, the new party night , a freaking Monday, that too a monday in which I would have to update my weekly sales binders for the big honchos to see. Nevertheless I decided to take care of that way before our stipulated time to meet, ie 7 PM on the dot. We need more time since we planned to get drunk, or at least Babla, chintoo and Nagu did.
Things never go as planned and sure as hell I get a call in which I am asked to download this huge data dump which would have taken me a whole day.[ still doing it in parts] and I had to give it in 30 minutes, not going to happen I think to myself and I call chintoo to tell him we need to meet later
"Make it 8 PM, its gonna take me some time"
That 8 PM becomes 8:30 and at one time I had resigned myself to not being able to go out for the final drunken escapade for quite a while, my friends come a calling at 8:30, screw work, called the boss and left for an epic night out.
Grabbed a cab with Babla, Chintoo and Nagu and headed off to the favorite destination to get good food,[ especially duck] and cheap booze, Tangra, the chinatown of Calcutta, the ride was a good 30 minutes from my office but as usual the drive is anything but boring with a ton of stories, laughs and abuses flying about from one guy to another.
We reach our beloved Cin Shing restaurant in the middle of Tangra at around 9:15 PM, a desolate place with just the construction of a new flyover and the zooming cars whizzing by that would only provide us any sign of life around for around a kilometer or two.
Now getting to this place, the restaurant was hard, since the entire road was dug up and this moat had formed around the premises, we had to cross over a plank of wood, each scared that their fat ass might collapse the plank and we would end up in the much which would probably have had feces, vomit, urine, and a whole host of bacteria just floating about. Luckily the plank did not snap , I guess since I was praying to the Lord , we made it across is what matters I guess.
We walk in with just another group of guys like us waiting and hogging stuff off another table, taking a table at the corner, the first thing I eye up is the amount of soda or at least the variety of cola drinks they had in the cooler, last time I was here I had around 7 different fizzy drinks, this time I was out to beat my record.
The ordering starts with a ton of prawn chips and chicken fried wontons, while the other guys decide on drinking alcohol, I decide to start my carbonated madness with a bottle of Thumbs Up, the best selling indian soft drink, EVER!, chintoo goes for a fosters, babla and nagu decided to have Blenders Pride while downing a ton of chips and fried nuts, we also ordered the classic Peking Duck and some amazing fried fish with another round of wontons to go about, the food was the king, the alcohol was the mistress and I was there to face the madness.
The person first hit seemed to be babla, which is funny because he normally handles alcohol the best amongst the other 3, laughing hard, screaming out to us that "This is the highest high I have been in a while" and "I have never been this happy being high in a while", of course there is the ever so needed call to his new squeeze saying how much he really loves her and all, alcohol brings out all the secrets in em all.
Rohit also did the same route, called Bhabhiji up, spoke in this hush hush tone, probably about him running away to the US , we also had a chat with Bhabhiji, me being the sober one also acted the most crass by constantly abusing over the phone, not at her but at the other members of our club. Oh and rohit for some reason decided to have 3 beers and chugged em all down one by one, no waiting, then he goes berserk and starts hitting his head and shaking it about like some ants had entered his ear.
Nagu kept and played it cool, not talking much, just drinking, funnily he kept himself in control the best and didn't act freaky like Babla or chintoo did, however its because of him we came up, I came up with the line for the year, while Rohit and Babla are constantly teasing him about his "Kritika" , while I for once tried to reason and take his side, as soon as I said "Nagu......"
He shouts out
"Shut UP ADEEEEEM!!!!"
I tell him " You idiot for once listen to me, either you treat me like an equal in the group or treat me like a muslim", they all start laughing crazy.He still keeps denying he has a soft spot for the girl but finally after being drunk he does reveal that he and her are going to work in the same city, again, if that is not the lord telling him to move in with the girl for life, I don't know what is.
"Line of the night" says Chintoo, agrees Babla and Nagu.
While they keep on drinking, I have my own personal fight with the cold drinks , downed a thumbs up, fanta, sprite, 7 up and a Limca, I finally had to retire with another bottle of Thumbs up.I was so filled with a ton of soft drinks that I did not touch the next round of wontons although I absolutely love em.
While we decide to leave the premise at around 11 PM, something strikes chintoo and he says "Dude, that PLANK!!!!!"
"If I fall into the ditch with the water, do not pick me up and let me die there, DO NOT PICK ME UP, I CANNOT GO BACK IN THAT STATE"
So we climb down the stairs, Nagu has gone ahead of us while I try to take Babla along with me, he constantly abuses me "I don't need help fucking chut, move aside, I can control myself"
Rohit goes on a blitzkrieg and starts hitting me for no reason , we walk slowly towards the end of the road when Nagu shouts out "FAAAAAAKKKK man ADEEEEEEEEMMM"
"What happened?"
Nagu : "Dude those planks..... they are not there anymore, just some bamboo that is all."
me :"Stop fucking around you idiot"
Nagu " I am not joking"
Sure enough, some chuts removed the planks and we were stuck thinking what can we do to move across, luckily or unluckily we saw a pair of bamboo poles tied up above the ground with another on tied around waste high which we could use, Chintoo goes across, so does nagu, Babla is the one we are scared off and Chintoo eggs him on, comforting him he can do it.
Now its my turn, while I gingerly try to come across, Chintoo for some fucked up reason decides, lets have fun with the Musalman and starts shaking the bamboo sticks, I am scuttling across in fear of falling into a ditch while the bastard has a jolly good time laughing at my predicament.
We now have to walk around a kilometer against oncoming traffic going at around 60-70 KMPH and we are not on the pavement since there is no pavement, I am coming along with Babla to make sure nothing happens, he is on an abusing spree, showing everyone the finger, every car he is showing the finger and how he would fuck people, showing the indian F U sign, he pushes me away and wants to walk it alone.
We reach Topsia after a walk and take an auto to Park Circus, Babla loves the wind in his hair and is laughing his arse off for no reason, we get off the auto and now Babla does not want to go back home, its 11: 30 and he is insisting on going somewhere else, then he wants to have something sweeeeeet.
While the other 3 try to find a way back home, Babla vanishes and reappears with chocolates for all, Yay Willy Bonkers is back, abusing all the way infront of the Arsalan restaurant, hell he even wants to have shit ice cream, rohit has an ice cream, in his state of drunkeness he buys a mango ice cream thinking it was orange, while Babla had the same, Nagu and I had the safe chocbar, Babla is still not happy with his sugar intake for the night and buys 4 large Cadbury dairy Milk bars for all of us to have, While I hogged down mine and Rohit's since he did not want to have it, Babla kept his for later.
We took a cab back to Kidderpore, since I had to go home and get to bed for a long day in office, Babla again did not want to go back home, insisting on moving about, then he goes on berserk mode and starts to mouth of obscenities to the cab driver and tries to make him eat the chocolate bar he had kept with himself.
"Nahi, woh boka choda ko khana hoga, I have had enough of them bastards refusing to take us from one point to another"
We pacify him enough , although he does shout of abuses to random people, including police officers, tries to shove his leg outside the window of the car and almost beats nagu up for no reason, oh and I forgot to tell you, right outside the restaurant he tried to climb a lamppost, so there you go, the babla was finally released from his cage.
At a bridge Rohit sees a ton of graffiti and says
"You know how I can tell its the work of an STB student?..... its cause they can't spell for fucks sake"
True that.
When I dropped the 3 off at kidderpore before I took the cab to my place, babla shouts out one more piece of advise
"If the bastard has not had the chocolate yet, don't fucking pay the mother fucker"
Told like a true STB ite against a taxi driver who was wondering whether he would make it back alive or not.
While I thought this would/could have been the last ever night out like this, a pact has been made, every year from now on, ONCE at least once shall all us friends meet up and go on a night of drunken madness for 3 of the people and 1 person just trying to get them all back in 1 piece.
So it is quite obvious, apart form the sleepover there would be the oh so spectacular night out. Normally confined to the weekend, we decided to move this party along to the greatest day of the week, the new party night , a freaking Monday, that too a monday in which I would have to update my weekly sales binders for the big honchos to see. Nevertheless I decided to take care of that way before our stipulated time to meet, ie 7 PM on the dot. We need more time since we planned to get drunk, or at least Babla, chintoo and Nagu did.
Things never go as planned and sure as hell I get a call in which I am asked to download this huge data dump which would have taken me a whole day.[ still doing it in parts] and I had to give it in 30 minutes, not going to happen I think to myself and I call chintoo to tell him we need to meet later
"Make it 8 PM, its gonna take me some time"
That 8 PM becomes 8:30 and at one time I had resigned myself to not being able to go out for the final drunken escapade for quite a while, my friends come a calling at 8:30, screw work, called the boss and left for an epic night out.
Grabbed a cab with Babla, Chintoo and Nagu and headed off to the favorite destination to get good food,[ especially duck] and cheap booze, Tangra, the chinatown of Calcutta, the ride was a good 30 minutes from my office but as usual the drive is anything but boring with a ton of stories, laughs and abuses flying about from one guy to another.
We reach our beloved Cin Shing restaurant in the middle of Tangra at around 9:15 PM, a desolate place with just the construction of a new flyover and the zooming cars whizzing by that would only provide us any sign of life around for around a kilometer or two.
Now getting to this place, the restaurant was hard, since the entire road was dug up and this moat had formed around the premises, we had to cross over a plank of wood, each scared that their fat ass might collapse the plank and we would end up in the much which would probably have had feces, vomit, urine, and a whole host of bacteria just floating about. Luckily the plank did not snap , I guess since I was praying to the Lord , we made it across is what matters I guess.
We walk in with just another group of guys like us waiting and hogging stuff off another table, taking a table at the corner, the first thing I eye up is the amount of soda or at least the variety of cola drinks they had in the cooler, last time I was here I had around 7 different fizzy drinks, this time I was out to beat my record.
The ordering starts with a ton of prawn chips and chicken fried wontons, while the other guys decide on drinking alcohol, I decide to start my carbonated madness with a bottle of Thumbs Up, the best selling indian soft drink, EVER!, chintoo goes for a fosters, babla and nagu decided to have Blenders Pride while downing a ton of chips and fried nuts, we also ordered the classic Peking Duck and some amazing fried fish with another round of wontons to go about, the food was the king, the alcohol was the mistress and I was there to face the madness.
The person first hit seemed to be babla, which is funny because he normally handles alcohol the best amongst the other 3, laughing hard, screaming out to us that "This is the highest high I have been in a while" and "I have never been this happy being high in a while", of course there is the ever so needed call to his new squeeze saying how much he really loves her and all, alcohol brings out all the secrets in em all.
Rohit also did the same route, called Bhabhiji up, spoke in this hush hush tone, probably about him running away to the US , we also had a chat with Bhabhiji, me being the sober one also acted the most crass by constantly abusing over the phone, not at her but at the other members of our club. Oh and rohit for some reason decided to have 3 beers and chugged em all down one by one, no waiting, then he goes berserk and starts hitting his head and shaking it about like some ants had entered his ear.
Nagu kept and played it cool, not talking much, just drinking, funnily he kept himself in control the best and didn't act freaky like Babla or chintoo did, however its because of him we came up, I came up with the line for the year, while Rohit and Babla are constantly teasing him about his "Kritika" , while I for once tried to reason and take his side, as soon as I said "Nagu......"
He shouts out
"Shut UP ADEEEEEM!!!!"
I tell him " You idiot for once listen to me, either you treat me like an equal in the group or treat me like a muslim", they all start laughing crazy.He still keeps denying he has a soft spot for the girl but finally after being drunk he does reveal that he and her are going to work in the same city, again, if that is not the lord telling him to move in with the girl for life, I don't know what is.
"Line of the night" says Chintoo, agrees Babla and Nagu.
While they keep on drinking, I have my own personal fight with the cold drinks , downed a thumbs up, fanta, sprite, 7 up and a Limca, I finally had to retire with another bottle of Thumbs up.I was so filled with a ton of soft drinks that I did not touch the next round of wontons although I absolutely love em.
While we decide to leave the premise at around 11 PM, something strikes chintoo and he says "Dude, that PLANK!!!!!"
"If I fall into the ditch with the water, do not pick me up and let me die there, DO NOT PICK ME UP, I CANNOT GO BACK IN THAT STATE"
So we climb down the stairs, Nagu has gone ahead of us while I try to take Babla along with me, he constantly abuses me "I don't need help fucking chut, move aside, I can control myself"
Rohit goes on a blitzkrieg and starts hitting me for no reason , we walk slowly towards the end of the road when Nagu shouts out "FAAAAAAKKKK man ADEEEEEEEEMMM"
"What happened?"
Nagu : "Dude those planks..... they are not there anymore, just some bamboo that is all."
me :"Stop fucking around you idiot"
Nagu " I am not joking"
Sure enough, some chuts removed the planks and we were stuck thinking what can we do to move across, luckily or unluckily we saw a pair of bamboo poles tied up above the ground with another on tied around waste high which we could use, Chintoo goes across, so does nagu, Babla is the one we are scared off and Chintoo eggs him on, comforting him he can do it.
Now its my turn, while I gingerly try to come across, Chintoo for some fucked up reason decides, lets have fun with the Musalman and starts shaking the bamboo sticks, I am scuttling across in fear of falling into a ditch while the bastard has a jolly good time laughing at my predicament.
We now have to walk around a kilometer against oncoming traffic going at around 60-70 KMPH and we are not on the pavement since there is no pavement, I am coming along with Babla to make sure nothing happens, he is on an abusing spree, showing everyone the finger, every car he is showing the finger and how he would fuck people, showing the indian F U sign, he pushes me away and wants to walk it alone.
We reach Topsia after a walk and take an auto to Park Circus, Babla loves the wind in his hair and is laughing his arse off for no reason, we get off the auto and now Babla does not want to go back home, its 11: 30 and he is insisting on going somewhere else, then he wants to have something sweeeeeet.
While the other 3 try to find a way back home, Babla vanishes and reappears with chocolates for all, Yay Willy Bonkers is back, abusing all the way infront of the Arsalan restaurant, hell he even wants to have shit ice cream, rohit has an ice cream, in his state of drunkeness he buys a mango ice cream thinking it was orange, while Babla had the same, Nagu and I had the safe chocbar, Babla is still not happy with his sugar intake for the night and buys 4 large Cadbury dairy Milk bars for all of us to have, While I hogged down mine and Rohit's since he did not want to have it, Babla kept his for later.
We took a cab back to Kidderpore, since I had to go home and get to bed for a long day in office, Babla again did not want to go back home, insisting on moving about, then he goes on berserk mode and starts to mouth of obscenities to the cab driver and tries to make him eat the chocolate bar he had kept with himself.
"Nahi, woh boka choda ko khana hoga, I have had enough of them bastards refusing to take us from one point to another"
We pacify him enough , although he does shout of abuses to random people, including police officers, tries to shove his leg outside the window of the car and almost beats nagu up for no reason, oh and I forgot to tell you, right outside the restaurant he tried to climb a lamppost, so there you go, the babla was finally released from his cage.
At a bridge Rohit sees a ton of graffiti and says
"You know how I can tell its the work of an STB student?..... its cause they can't spell for fucks sake"
True that.
When I dropped the 3 off at kidderpore before I took the cab to my place, babla shouts out one more piece of advise
"If the bastard has not had the chocolate yet, don't fucking pay the mother fucker"
Told like a true STB ite against a taxi driver who was wondering whether he would make it back alive or not.
While I thought this would/could have been the last ever night out like this, a pact has been made, every year from now on, ONCE at least once shall all us friends meet up and go on a night of drunken madness for 3 of the people and 1 person just trying to get them all back in 1 piece.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
A journey ends, the other begins
Exactly 10 years ago I had returned back to the city of joy from my long tryst in the desert kingdom which I had grown to love over the 7 years I had spent there, starting a new journey here was never easy, shifting to a completely different country, meeting new people and relatives, trying to make friends and holy crap adjusting to a school without Air conditioning, life was tough, hell it was hell for quite a few days, you get a gist of the crap I have been through from my earlier posts, check out the earliest ones for the best stories.
So around 6 years I shifted to my new residence and since rooms got bigger , accommodating friends was no big deal, in fact this gave to the rise in the massive number of sleepovers, check out "sleepover" for a brief history of the same. This get together would involve a few friends staying over at my place, staying up late and eating a ton of food, drinking a ton of cola and abusing and sharing a ton of kickass stories since all of us were crazy enough to have crazy stories which we had to share.
The Nagu, Babla, Chintoo and I, the ultimate crazy group with a ton of nonsense to spread and cherish, those were the days of college stories, women,football, goofs, chutiyapanti , you get the drift.
Recently we had another sleepover, with all 4 of us present , Chintoo came up with a very important point,
"This could, actually it is the last proper sleepover we may EVER have"
Alas, it is the end of a journey, Chintoo is off to the US for 5 years to study and get his PhD, Nagu is off to Ahmedabad to work and Babla is busy touring the country, 5 years from now who knows what life holds for us all. Nothing will ever be the same again, its been a kick ass journey from college to work, while work may suck, its the weekends which people remember and it still is the same for us now, the last sleepover, the journey ends, we move on to another story of life its just this chapter which ends and which marriage beckoning for at least a few of us the story called the Sleepover , the activity, the long nights, the long stories we kept in just to share with one another over a few bottles of soda and ice cream , the abuses we sprayed on people and one another while the clock would strike 3 AM will now rest in memories.
Thou were a great friend, sleepover, thou shalt never be forgotten.
So around 6 years I shifted to my new residence and since rooms got bigger , accommodating friends was no big deal, in fact this gave to the rise in the massive number of sleepovers, check out "sleepover" for a brief history of the same. This get together would involve a few friends staying over at my place, staying up late and eating a ton of food, drinking a ton of cola and abusing and sharing a ton of kickass stories since all of us were crazy enough to have crazy stories which we had to share.
The Nagu, Babla, Chintoo and I, the ultimate crazy group with a ton of nonsense to spread and cherish, those were the days of college stories, women,football, goofs, chutiyapanti , you get the drift.
Recently we had another sleepover, with all 4 of us present , Chintoo came up with a very important point,
"This could, actually it is the last proper sleepover we may EVER have"
Alas, it is the end of a journey, Chintoo is off to the US for 5 years to study and get his PhD, Nagu is off to Ahmedabad to work and Babla is busy touring the country, 5 years from now who knows what life holds for us all. Nothing will ever be the same again, its been a kick ass journey from college to work, while work may suck, its the weekends which people remember and it still is the same for us now, the last sleepover, the journey ends, we move on to another story of life its just this chapter which ends and which marriage beckoning for at least a few of us the story called the Sleepover , the activity, the long nights, the long stories we kept in just to share with one another over a few bottles of soda and ice cream , the abuses we sprayed on people and one another while the clock would strike 3 AM will now rest in memories.
Thou were a great friend, sleepover, thou shalt never be forgotten.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Reboot? BOOT it out
With half of Calcutta going crazy with a ton of superhero movies, Avengers most recently, it seems people have forgotten what taste actually is. I saw the avengers and while it was a decent enough movie, people started comparing it to Nolan's Batman, why? probably because they can't believe how a great movie or a series Nolan has made and the inevitable comparisons will come with crap movies.
This just went to a whole new level this week, while people have been gearing up for the new Spidey flick, reboot as it is called. The reviews were quite positive, I did not read any American reviews about the flick so I don't have a clue as to what the other side of the Atlantic has to say about the flick.
Spidey is just as good as Batman, if not a better superhero at least in being more of a "human" with emotions et all. Hell a paper [ a leading paper] even came up with these 2 comic books fans having a long arsed debate which barely should have been covered in the first place because these comic geeks are only in it because super heroes is now a fad, especially with the new Batman movie and the reboot[ again I said it] of Superman by Nolan.
So the entire city was gaga with the new movie, reviews were good, hell the comparisons started and there were some idiots saying the movie had a more human, emotional element of Spidey which was missing from the last 2 spidey movies, Tobey versions.
The hall I went to was a family hall and I had a ton of kids running about and screaming about spidey but If I was in the normal halls I visit I would have been screaming my lungs out as to how lame a movie this is, by the interval I was completely brain dead and by the end of the movie, I knew I had amazingly wasted 2 hours of my life and this was probably one of the worst sueprhero movies I have seen.
Garfield, as the ladies say is cute but dear lord how have they massacred the movie, Peter Parker was a geek a nerd, someone who would not stand up for himself, ok lets fuck that all up, screw the comics and the canon and lets make him this stand out guy who stands out for right and all. Then the part of being an anchor for Aunt May, in this entire movie, Aunt May is shown for the exact amount of time as Irfan Khan, go figure, seems she was not an important character at all, and Irfan is there just for the Indian audience, they knew spiderman 3 was huge in India, so just put an Indian actor with a few lines and not an important role, hell even a blind man with no talent could have done that role.
Also this movie showed that being a superhero is easy as hell, PP [parker] easily makes his costume, his web device and all, no problems at all. And of course you DONT need a secret identity to be a superhero, in the movie, PP was without his mask with his suit on for almost all the fight sequences. Screw hiding the face, let every person in New York see what or who spidey really is.
The final bit that pissed me off is these sequences of Spidey and Connors, Connors post lizard has control over what he does and follows spidey, finds out it is Parker, again, you dont need to hide your identity do you? Follows him to school and tries to destroy him, which he fails with, the climax of the flick is just as lame , wont spoil that , go and watch it yourself to believe how lame and predictable it turns out to be.
Oh and being a Superhero movie, this is going to have a sequel, oh dear lord.
PS: This movie has had one of the best openings for a foreign flick in Indian screens, even beating the last great movie which was just as crummy but now looks like a far superior movie, Spidey 3. Roll on with the sequel.
This just went to a whole new level this week, while people have been gearing up for the new Spidey flick, reboot as it is called. The reviews were quite positive, I did not read any American reviews about the flick so I don't have a clue as to what the other side of the Atlantic has to say about the flick.
Spidey is just as good as Batman, if not a better superhero at least in being more of a "human" with emotions et all. Hell a paper [ a leading paper] even came up with these 2 comic books fans having a long arsed debate which barely should have been covered in the first place because these comic geeks are only in it because super heroes is now a fad, especially with the new Batman movie and the reboot[ again I said it] of Superman by Nolan.
So the entire city was gaga with the new movie, reviews were good, hell the comparisons started and there were some idiots saying the movie had a more human, emotional element of Spidey which was missing from the last 2 spidey movies, Tobey versions.
The hall I went to was a family hall and I had a ton of kids running about and screaming about spidey but If I was in the normal halls I visit I would have been screaming my lungs out as to how lame a movie this is, by the interval I was completely brain dead and by the end of the movie, I knew I had amazingly wasted 2 hours of my life and this was probably one of the worst sueprhero movies I have seen.
Garfield, as the ladies say is cute but dear lord how have they massacred the movie, Peter Parker was a geek a nerd, someone who would not stand up for himself, ok lets fuck that all up, screw the comics and the canon and lets make him this stand out guy who stands out for right and all. Then the part of being an anchor for Aunt May, in this entire movie, Aunt May is shown for the exact amount of time as Irfan Khan, go figure, seems she was not an important character at all, and Irfan is there just for the Indian audience, they knew spiderman 3 was huge in India, so just put an Indian actor with a few lines and not an important role, hell even a blind man with no talent could have done that role.
Also this movie showed that being a superhero is easy as hell, PP [parker] easily makes his costume, his web device and all, no problems at all. And of course you DONT need a secret identity to be a superhero, in the movie, PP was without his mask with his suit on for almost all the fight sequences. Screw hiding the face, let every person in New York see what or who spidey really is.
The final bit that pissed me off is these sequences of Spidey and Connors, Connors post lizard has control over what he does and follows spidey, finds out it is Parker, again, you dont need to hide your identity do you? Follows him to school and tries to destroy him, which he fails with, the climax of the flick is just as lame , wont spoil that , go and watch it yourself to believe how lame and predictable it turns out to be.
Oh and being a Superhero movie, this is going to have a sequel, oh dear lord.
PS: This movie has had one of the best openings for a foreign flick in Indian screens, even beating the last great movie which was just as crummy but now looks like a far superior movie, Spidey 3. Roll on with the sequel.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
The long short
The summer has set in and its blisteringly warm in Calcutta, so what does one do at such a time? Come out with his "Summer collection 2012",unfortunately I did not have much options when it came to attire at home, no good shorts or tracks to wear in the pathetic weather that has hit the city, close to 40 degrees Celsius , its been like this for almost a month now, no respite it seems and the lowest temperature of 29 degrees is not much a fact to jump about.
So here I am chucking out a ton of my old clothes because some of them are winter wear and some are in pathetic condition , converting the ones in poor condition to cloths being used to clean up the house, I open and clear my wardrobe and what do I find?
I have no shorts at all, not boxers but shorts which I can wear at home, this is because I finally did chuck out the shorts I used to wear around 10 years back when I was playing football in the sand dunes of Dubai, in those days the shorts would reach my knees, now the same shorts barely cover my balls. So off they went and so did I to talk to my parents,
"I need new shorts"
"Not a problem" says my dad, he has a few friends in the complex in the whole clothing business and surely enough I get a huge selection of shorts delivered to my place a couple of days later.
Trying them on one at a time, typical parents commenting on what looks good and not, I finally like a pair of shorts which are again till my knees and they are of decent quality that I can wear the same when I do go outside to places like McDonalds or KFC.
When I tell my parents that I want more of the same in the same XL size, its like the earth has shattered and 2012 is upon us, ok well it is upon us but that is not the point, my parents can't seem to get the idea as to why I would want shorts till my knees, those are not shorts, they are quite large for you and well they are very baggy and loose fitting.
What they don't understand is that this is my master plan for saving money, you see, I did get around 4 pair of shorts of the size I wanted now the good part is that these shorts will serve me a lifetime, well not a lifetime but based on the fact above that a pair of shorts lasted for a good 10 years with rough wear and a whole lotta football matches in tough conditions, these new shorts will last longer since I don't play football anymore, retired from the game since I reached the high points of doing Cruyff turns on the tough hard concrete covered rooftops of Chintoo's house in Mansartala lane, back to the point, these are going to last me long and I wont have to buy a new pair in a long time, this is how we save money.
So here I am chucking out a ton of my old clothes because some of them are winter wear and some are in pathetic condition , converting the ones in poor condition to cloths being used to clean up the house, I open and clear my wardrobe and what do I find?
I have no shorts at all, not boxers but shorts which I can wear at home, this is because I finally did chuck out the shorts I used to wear around 10 years back when I was playing football in the sand dunes of Dubai, in those days the shorts would reach my knees, now the same shorts barely cover my balls. So off they went and so did I to talk to my parents,
"I need new shorts"
"Not a problem" says my dad, he has a few friends in the complex in the whole clothing business and surely enough I get a huge selection of shorts delivered to my place a couple of days later.
Trying them on one at a time, typical parents commenting on what looks good and not, I finally like a pair of shorts which are again till my knees and they are of decent quality that I can wear the same when I do go outside to places like McDonalds or KFC.
When I tell my parents that I want more of the same in the same XL size, its like the earth has shattered and 2012 is upon us, ok well it is upon us but that is not the point, my parents can't seem to get the idea as to why I would want shorts till my knees, those are not shorts, they are quite large for you and well they are very baggy and loose fitting.
What they don't understand is that this is my master plan for saving money, you see, I did get around 4 pair of shorts of the size I wanted now the good part is that these shorts will serve me a lifetime, well not a lifetime but based on the fact above that a pair of shorts lasted for a good 10 years with rough wear and a whole lotta football matches in tough conditions, these new shorts will last longer since I don't play football anymore, retired from the game since I reached the high points of doing Cruyff turns on the tough hard concrete covered rooftops of Chintoo's house in Mansartala lane, back to the point, these are going to last me long and I wont have to buy a new pair in a long time, this is how we save money.
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Time
You wake up on a sad Monday morning, rubbing the fairy dust from your eyes, scratching your hair and then your groin, its been a long yet short Sunday and well Mondays just suck ass, so you get off bed, do a couple of stretches look up at the clock and the alarm bells start ringing
"FFFFAAAAAAAKKKKKK, I am late"
"God dammit, fucking alarm didn't ring"
Rush, run, faster than the Flash, fuck the morning constitutional, fuck my breakfast we have to make it to the death hole called the office on time. Been late for the last 4 Mondays on the trot, not going to happen again.
Sound a little familiar, well I have had this fear of being late for appointments and the like ever since I heard my dad giving me a talk about how important it is to maintain time, true while I spend 2 hours at night practically trolling about on internet sites and forums, not once can I say that I have been late [uber late] for any appointment, if I am going to be late, I do have the decency and etiquette to call first.
Earlier today a friend of mine came over and he asked me what the time was
"7:30 PM" was the time showing on my wrist watch, before he could note the time, I intervened
"Umm dude, my watch is actually 15 minutes fast", yes people do keep their watch 5 minutes fast but the freakshow that I am would rather keep his watch 15 minutes fast, why do you ask?
its elementary my dear friends, you see on a long office day, when you see that time just wont fly by, you look up to your watch and it is 15 minutes ahead of the time it should be. THAT is a proper pick me up, "Dang I got 15 minutes less to burn up here and then I can go back home"
While Amir[ the friend who came over] looks up to my wall clock, ding dong that clock is 25 minutes fast, perplexed he looks at me
"Dude, that watch was bloody 10 minutes slow for the past 2 days, always keep it 15 minutes ahead so to counter that 10 minutes slow, I made it 25 minutes fast"
Still not getting it. "Ahhhh and the clock in my parents room is 15 minutes slow, my cell phones are 10 and 15 minutes ahead of time and the Cuckoo clock in the living room is 5 minutes fast"
Trying to make all time instruments negate each other, maybe the Cuckoo isn't the one on the wall. However looking at the watch and seeing time fly by when it isn't sure as hell makes for a happy reading on a shit assed work day.
"FFFFAAAAAAAKKKKKK, I am late"
"God dammit, fucking alarm didn't ring"
Rush, run, faster than the Flash, fuck the morning constitutional, fuck my breakfast we have to make it to the death hole called the office on time. Been late for the last 4 Mondays on the trot, not going to happen again.
Sound a little familiar, well I have had this fear of being late for appointments and the like ever since I heard my dad giving me a talk about how important it is to maintain time, true while I spend 2 hours at night practically trolling about on internet sites and forums, not once can I say that I have been late [uber late] for any appointment, if I am going to be late, I do have the decency and etiquette to call first.
Earlier today a friend of mine came over and he asked me what the time was
"7:30 PM" was the time showing on my wrist watch, before he could note the time, I intervened
"Umm dude, my watch is actually 15 minutes fast", yes people do keep their watch 5 minutes fast but the freakshow that I am would rather keep his watch 15 minutes fast, why do you ask?
its elementary my dear friends, you see on a long office day, when you see that time just wont fly by, you look up to your watch and it is 15 minutes ahead of the time it should be. THAT is a proper pick me up, "Dang I got 15 minutes less to burn up here and then I can go back home"
While Amir[ the friend who came over] looks up to my wall clock, ding dong that clock is 25 minutes fast, perplexed he looks at me
"Dude, that watch was bloody 10 minutes slow for the past 2 days, always keep it 15 minutes ahead so to counter that 10 minutes slow, I made it 25 minutes fast"
Still not getting it. "Ahhhh and the clock in my parents room is 15 minutes slow, my cell phones are 10 and 15 minutes ahead of time and the Cuckoo clock in the living room is 5 minutes fast"
Trying to make all time instruments negate each other, maybe the Cuckoo isn't the one on the wall. However looking at the watch and seeing time fly by when it isn't sure as hell makes for a happy reading on a shit assed work day.
Saturday, May 19, 2012
That ass!
Again, I need to repeat, I do not like cricket one bit, every single time I have been to a stadium its been against my will and well because my dad wants to take me to the ball game and have a little father son bonding which to be fair we never have been able to do ever since I started loving football and defected from the love of cricket that my father for some reason thinks I had.
A week ago my dad tells me that he got tickets for the Mumbai Indians V KKR game, we had already been to the Pune V KKR game a week back and I did not want to go and see another game, my dad however had the ace up his sleeve, he flashes an envelope and tells me, "have a look at the tickets"
I snatch em from his hand and glare at the last few words at the bottom of the ticket
"PLATINUM LOUNGE"
Get in my man, I though to myself, we are going to watch the match in style.
So the D day comes, while most of the crowd had to bear the scorching temperature in Calcutta for the 4 PM game, my dad and I walked on in style at 3 PM, a special entrance for us , red carpet and a lift to take us up to the lounge. Typical hot women escorting the 2 of us to our "box seats", which was a beautiful room, air conditioned of course, with a fridge with a ton of cola and juice, a couple of sofas, a lot of comfortable chairs and lots of KKR goodies and merchandize for us to take home, Indians we are of course, so all this was free. Plus the balcony adjoining the room was brilliant, we could see the entire game if we wanted from the outside as well, with half of the crowd staring at me in envy I believe as I walked out like a champion to get a view of the ground.
The other reason I did step out was that Sachin was being commemorated for his achievement of 100 centuries in international cricket and our great CM Mamata Banerjee [less said about her the better] was in all her glory praising Sachin for his achievement and all. Giving him a ton of goodies as well, Sachin also tried his hand in Bengali and Mamata tried hers in English, enough of that shit.
The good stuff was in the lounge, we also had a tv which was broadcasting the game on SET MAX and if we did miss something in the match we could catch the same event on TV a couple of seconds later.
Now the lounge is to be shared by a few people, this was not exclusive to us, so there was this father who had brought his crazy cricket loving 5-6 year old son, whose math skills were amazing, easily letting us know what the run rate should be or how many runs are needed per over for the Riders to win, astounding, this kid was brilliant in division and well even had a proper cricketing brain telling us constantly
"If Gambhir is out, we will lose" or "We need to score a boundary in every over now"
The other occupants in the room were a few college going kids who went berserk and were leaning on the balcony blocking my dad's view of the game as we sat like kings on the sofa, Dad was getting all hyper like he does in any cricket game
"Tell them to bloody move", "MOVE!", he kept on saying, I kept on telling him, calm down dad its alright, let em have a bit of fun.
With my dad constantly getting upset that he cant see the pitch, the other people in the lounge were a man and his oh so sweet daughter, dear lord she was something special, close to the most perfect woman I might have seen in the flesh. Beautiful was she, amazing body, face and she spoke amazing english, everything I probably needed in a woman cept the fact that she seems to like cricket more than football, thank you Lord for your creations.
So they also move to the balcony to see the game and as luck would have it, they end up standing right in front of our view, while my dad again is going berserk and wants them to move, I get to see this hot woman with this amazing ass, right in front of me jumping up and down, my dad keeps on telling me
"Why the hell don't they move? don't they know we can't see? Tell them to move na"
I keep on telling myself, calm down dad, I am getting to see a lot more than I actually want to see, the result of the match didn't bother me much, my day was made, the lady and that ass. Sweet Jesus, I love lounges and I LOVE WATCHING THIS KINDA CRICKET.
Dear Lord that was some ass that!
A week ago my dad tells me that he got tickets for the Mumbai Indians V KKR game, we had already been to the Pune V KKR game a week back and I did not want to go and see another game, my dad however had the ace up his sleeve, he flashes an envelope and tells me, "have a look at the tickets"
I snatch em from his hand and glare at the last few words at the bottom of the ticket
"PLATINUM LOUNGE"
Get in my man, I though to myself, we are going to watch the match in style.
So the D day comes, while most of the crowd had to bear the scorching temperature in Calcutta for the 4 PM game, my dad and I walked on in style at 3 PM, a special entrance for us , red carpet and a lift to take us up to the lounge. Typical hot women escorting the 2 of us to our "box seats", which was a beautiful room, air conditioned of course, with a fridge with a ton of cola and juice, a couple of sofas, a lot of comfortable chairs and lots of KKR goodies and merchandize for us to take home, Indians we are of course, so all this was free. Plus the balcony adjoining the room was brilliant, we could see the entire game if we wanted from the outside as well, with half of the crowd staring at me in envy I believe as I walked out like a champion to get a view of the ground.
The other reason I did step out was that Sachin was being commemorated for his achievement of 100 centuries in international cricket and our great CM Mamata Banerjee [less said about her the better] was in all her glory praising Sachin for his achievement and all. Giving him a ton of goodies as well, Sachin also tried his hand in Bengali and Mamata tried hers in English, enough of that shit.
The good stuff was in the lounge, we also had a tv which was broadcasting the game on SET MAX and if we did miss something in the match we could catch the same event on TV a couple of seconds later.
Now the lounge is to be shared by a few people, this was not exclusive to us, so there was this father who had brought his crazy cricket loving 5-6 year old son, whose math skills were amazing, easily letting us know what the run rate should be or how many runs are needed per over for the Riders to win, astounding, this kid was brilliant in division and well even had a proper cricketing brain telling us constantly
"If Gambhir is out, we will lose" or "We need to score a boundary in every over now"
The other occupants in the room were a few college going kids who went berserk and were leaning on the balcony blocking my dad's view of the game as we sat like kings on the sofa, Dad was getting all hyper like he does in any cricket game
"Tell them to bloody move", "MOVE!", he kept on saying, I kept on telling him, calm down dad its alright, let em have a bit of fun.
With my dad constantly getting upset that he cant see the pitch, the other people in the lounge were a man and his oh so sweet daughter, dear lord she was something special, close to the most perfect woman I might have seen in the flesh. Beautiful was she, amazing body, face and she spoke amazing english, everything I probably needed in a woman cept the fact that she seems to like cricket more than football, thank you Lord for your creations.
So they also move to the balcony to see the game and as luck would have it, they end up standing right in front of our view, while my dad again is going berserk and wants them to move, I get to see this hot woman with this amazing ass, right in front of me jumping up and down, my dad keeps on telling me
"Why the hell don't they move? don't they know we can't see? Tell them to move na"
I keep on telling myself, calm down dad, I am getting to see a lot more than I actually want to see, the result of the match didn't bother me much, my day was made, the lady and that ass. Sweet Jesus, I love lounges and I LOVE WATCHING THIS KINDA CRICKET.
Dear Lord that was some ass that!
Saturday, May 5, 2012
A city divided in two. No Dada, No KKR?
I guess the title is a dead giveaway of what I would be blogging about, the game of the season in this current IPL. The Kolkata Knight Riders Vs The Pune Warriors, now before I start I need to let you guys know, I am not a crazy cricket fanatic neither do I love cricket as much as some of the other sports, in fact I hate cricket, the only reason I went to the said match is because of my dad. He loves the sport, cannot believe I hate the sport and always wants me to enjoy this game, so to keep him happy and not in "angry dad" mode I tag along for these cricket matches that we get tickets for , seen an India Pak test , seen a couple of IPL games now. More importantly seen Dada, the darling , the prince of Calcutta score a century against Pakistan and all, so yeah I have been lucky to have witnessed some big events, like Messi's game in Calcutta and also Oli Kahn's last game for Munich.
This time we got tickets at the last moment for this HUGE game, running back from office and getting ready with my dad, I could see the shine in his eyes, he truly was excited, this was his Messi moment or similar to my Istanbul 2005 moment, ok, Istanbul was way bigger in many respects but he had that shine, "I am taking my son to a game and its going to be magical".
Typically we got in just after the first ball was bowled, had these awesome seats which were roughly 15 degrees to one of the set of wickets, yes I am very poor with the field positions in cricket. We got seats smack bang in the middle of the Pune supporters which was mixed in quite well with the KKR supporters, so we got the best of both worlds, when Pune did well they screamed and shouted and when KKR did well the other side screamed and shouted their lungs out.
You could feel the anticipation and the energy in the stadium, you did not need those fancy side screens and jumbotrons, we had the great one back in the city to play and try to keep his Pune team alive for the semis of the IPL, we had a ton of pro KKR supporters who were interspersed with the Pune supporters, we had best friends divided and loyalties being tested to the hilt.
A KKR supporter [wearing a cap] consoles his Warriors supporting friend after Gambhir takes off like a rocket.
There were the typical set of mad supporters who don't know when its time to sit and people have to randomly shout on em to get them off their chair and tell them to sit or they will call the police.
There was the typical old man who has seen it all and knows it all, this old person was our half time entertainment, letting us know how Snehashis Ganguly was always the better player compared to Dada, how ugly politics in this sport is, how crude life is for those who don't have the backing in this filth filled world of the BCCI and of course all of it was true and while he spoke so much sense it seemed he was out of his mind, constantly requiring Hi 5's for random listeners, breaking into crazy jingles and going "Ta Ta Ta Ta Ta" clapping his hands together like he was part of a matching band, for all his legit talk about the sport he was let down by his madness or was it just a show for us to listen out to him and not take things seriously, just let things be , he could not change much after being in the system for years what chance did we have of doing anything?
There were the stupid dumb idiots who came in with their "girls" and try to act all macho and all, macho here means when they do the time out countdown , this bloke puts his hand up when the DJ starts counting down from "5...4...3....2....1" , so he uses his fingers to show 5,4,3,2 and 1, 1 here means he will point the middle finger out to a random cameraman in hope and expectation that he will be shown on TV. Idiot, no one is impressed by such nonsense, actually the women he was with , they were crazy good impressed, thank fuck some random person threw a packet of water on them later on in the game.
There was this quiet person sitting next to me, watching the game with intent and loving every minute of it, watching it like a proper gentleman, waiting for the Prince to come out and when he did come out to bat, this man's face started shining, he loved Dada, you could see it in his face, when there was this chance that Dada and Pune might pull it off, this man was almost letting off the words "I always have trusted you Dada, you are the best". Sadly when Dada was dismissed and Pune lost, the man was heartbroken, destroyed and demoralized, "Maybe next time, Dada will do it for sure, next time", he softly said to himself.
Those energetic kids who came to watch their first live cricket match, going bonkers in every hit and miss, loving the fact that their father took them to such a big event, the father being so proud that he could provide such a chance to his kid, guess my dad felt the same about taking me to the ball game.
The crowd , again were brilliant, applauding every clean shot, near miss, dismissal, the Calcutta Wave which was something everyone should be a part off. The greatest part was that while players were doing their bit, Gambhir scores a 50, they applaud , Sunil Narine bowls this amazing maiden, they applaud, Mathews goes bonkers on Pathan they applaud but the standing ovation comes for Dada, after he is dismissed, so what if he could not guide them, he is still the best.
The setting was immaculate, when people say "You have to watch a match at the Eden Gardens", they are right, its crazy, its beautiful, its energetic, lively, its what life should be. Words fail to describe what I actually felt there sitting mostly but watching people letting out their emotions, women screaming out support only for one man, boys , kids, men all acting the same way. Its brilliant.
I did not go to this event because I like cricket, I went there because my father always wants to take me along for these cricket games, while I always hated going to them, this one night certainly will live on, its not the result at the end which mattered to me. The people, the emotions, the love, the hate, the banter, the energy, the despair, the tension and the setting, that is something everyone should experience, wont write much more, will just sign off with this amazing snap I took.
This time we got tickets at the last moment for this HUGE game, running back from office and getting ready with my dad, I could see the shine in his eyes, he truly was excited, this was his Messi moment or similar to my Istanbul 2005 moment, ok, Istanbul was way bigger in many respects but he had that shine, "I am taking my son to a game and its going to be magical".
Typically we got in just after the first ball was bowled, had these awesome seats which were roughly 15 degrees to one of the set of wickets, yes I am very poor with the field positions in cricket. We got seats smack bang in the middle of the Pune supporters which was mixed in quite well with the KKR supporters, so we got the best of both worlds, when Pune did well they screamed and shouted and when KKR did well the other side screamed and shouted their lungs out.
You could feel the anticipation and the energy in the stadium, you did not need those fancy side screens and jumbotrons, we had the great one back in the city to play and try to keep his Pune team alive for the semis of the IPL, we had a ton of pro KKR supporters who were interspersed with the Pune supporters, we had best friends divided and loyalties being tested to the hilt.
A KKR supporter [wearing a cap] consoles his Warriors supporting friend after Gambhir takes off like a rocket.
There were the typical set of mad supporters who don't know when its time to sit and people have to randomly shout on em to get them off their chair and tell them to sit or they will call the police.
There was the typical old man who has seen it all and knows it all, this old person was our half time entertainment, letting us know how Snehashis Ganguly was always the better player compared to Dada, how ugly politics in this sport is, how crude life is for those who don't have the backing in this filth filled world of the BCCI and of course all of it was true and while he spoke so much sense it seemed he was out of his mind, constantly requiring Hi 5's for random listeners, breaking into crazy jingles and going "Ta Ta Ta Ta Ta" clapping his hands together like he was part of a matching band, for all his legit talk about the sport he was let down by his madness or was it just a show for us to listen out to him and not take things seriously, just let things be , he could not change much after being in the system for years what chance did we have of doing anything?
There were the stupid dumb idiots who came in with their "girls" and try to act all macho and all, macho here means when they do the time out countdown , this bloke puts his hand up when the DJ starts counting down from "5...4...3....2....1" , so he uses his fingers to show 5,4,3,2 and 1, 1 here means he will point the middle finger out to a random cameraman in hope and expectation that he will be shown on TV. Idiot, no one is impressed by such nonsense, actually the women he was with , they were crazy good impressed, thank fuck some random person threw a packet of water on them later on in the game.
There was this quiet person sitting next to me, watching the game with intent and loving every minute of it, watching it like a proper gentleman, waiting for the Prince to come out and when he did come out to bat, this man's face started shining, he loved Dada, you could see it in his face, when there was this chance that Dada and Pune might pull it off, this man was almost letting off the words "I always have trusted you Dada, you are the best". Sadly when Dada was dismissed and Pune lost, the man was heartbroken, destroyed and demoralized, "Maybe next time, Dada will do it for sure, next time", he softly said to himself.
Those energetic kids who came to watch their first live cricket match, going bonkers in every hit and miss, loving the fact that their father took them to such a big event, the father being so proud that he could provide such a chance to his kid, guess my dad felt the same about taking me to the ball game.
The crowd , again were brilliant, applauding every clean shot, near miss, dismissal, the Calcutta Wave which was something everyone should be a part off. The greatest part was that while players were doing their bit, Gambhir scores a 50, they applaud , Sunil Narine bowls this amazing maiden, they applaud, Mathews goes bonkers on Pathan they applaud but the standing ovation comes for Dada, after he is dismissed, so what if he could not guide them, he is still the best.
The setting was immaculate, when people say "You have to watch a match at the Eden Gardens", they are right, its crazy, its beautiful, its energetic, lively, its what life should be. Words fail to describe what I actually felt there sitting mostly but watching people letting out their emotions, women screaming out support only for one man, boys , kids, men all acting the same way. Its brilliant.
I did not go to this event because I like cricket, I went there because my father always wants to take me along for these cricket games, while I always hated going to them, this one night certainly will live on, its not the result at the end which mattered to me. The people, the emotions, the love, the hate, the banter, the energy, the despair, the tension and the setting, that is something everyone should experience, wont write much more, will just sign off with this amazing snap I took.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Fight Club?
First rule of Fight Club is – you do not talk about Fight Club
So I wont be talking about "Fight Club", can't break the rules.
Truth be told, I just recently got to see this amazing masterpiece of a movie with such brilliant performances and this whole anarchy reign, take over the world, screw the value system , psycho having problems thing.
The reason why I have been avoiding the said movie for oh so long?
A hindi movie with the same name was released years after the original and it had a subplot also of the "Fight Club".
Comparing the two is a sin but I cannot believe I avoided such a movie just because a bollywood flick had the same name and had a few scenes copied from the original. The copied scenes weren't even the brilliant ones just random fight scenes.
So on the one side we have this whole crazy bit about how we buy things we don't like and how we work in jobs we don't like making money to buy the said unlikeable things, the other crummy movie had this whole plot of friends opening a fight club for well, what? a Fight!
The Fight club was opened in the original just out of no reason, it had a much bigger part to play in the movie later on with a couple of personalities and a ton of zombies, here in the bollywood version we had the fight club and that was that, the whole movie was based on that shit assed basis.
The fights here were brutal savage beatings with a meaning , a sense of escape from the crummy rule filled life we lead and how we all try to fit in a society that certainly tries to make us do and act unlike the way we want, almost become numb to our internal feelings and cravings trying to satisfy what others want. This one had a lesbian fight for no reason, which gave the producer and director half a chance to get two scantily clad women to fight and strip their clothes off.
Here we had Helena Bonham Carter giving out a brilliant performance of this crazy girl or showing people later on who the real crazy people are, there we had Amrita Arora and Dia Mirza [sure hotter than Helena] but both playing bimbos who have nothing to do in the entire movie, except to dance about and look hot. Ok Amrita Arora is smoking hot but that whole shit dance on the beaches served no purpose to the movie.
On one side we have this dark twisted human being trying to take over the city, if not the world with his countless drones of "monkeys", there we have a random set of 4 monkeys trying to tell us a story which should never have come out and damaged this mind of mine.
It has taken me a good 4-5 years to get the courage to see the Original Fight Club, Its always better late than never, while I might have missed on this masterpiece earlier, this time no mistakes were made, a beautiful movie, and Bollywood, please FFS stop using the same names as the American/Hollywood movies, if you do, please let us know that the movie does not relate to the namesake and IF IT DOES, DO NOT FUCK UP MOVIES LIKE YOU GUYS DO ALWAYS WITH THOSE REMAKES.
Players, thank fuck I did not watch that, the only good thing about the Bollywood fight club were the sequences with Arora but then again, she has random hot songs in every movie she has been in, Girlfriend was another, "Lesbian love story" oh how crummy that turned out to be also.
So I wont be talking about "Fight Club", can't break the rules.
Truth be told, I just recently got to see this amazing masterpiece of a movie with such brilliant performances and this whole anarchy reign, take over the world, screw the value system , psycho having problems thing.
The reason why I have been avoiding the said movie for oh so long?
A hindi movie with the same name was released years after the original and it had a subplot also of the "Fight Club".
Comparing the two is a sin but I cannot believe I avoided such a movie just because a bollywood flick had the same name and had a few scenes copied from the original. The copied scenes weren't even the brilliant ones just random fight scenes.
So on the one side we have this whole crazy bit about how we buy things we don't like and how we work in jobs we don't like making money to buy the said unlikeable things, the other crummy movie had this whole plot of friends opening a fight club for well, what? a Fight!
The Fight club was opened in the original just out of no reason, it had a much bigger part to play in the movie later on with a couple of personalities and a ton of zombies, here in the bollywood version we had the fight club and that was that, the whole movie was based on that shit assed basis.
The fights here were brutal savage beatings with a meaning , a sense of escape from the crummy rule filled life we lead and how we all try to fit in a society that certainly tries to make us do and act unlike the way we want, almost become numb to our internal feelings and cravings trying to satisfy what others want. This one had a lesbian fight for no reason, which gave the producer and director half a chance to get two scantily clad women to fight and strip their clothes off.
Here we had Helena Bonham Carter giving out a brilliant performance of this crazy girl or showing people later on who the real crazy people are, there we had Amrita Arora and Dia Mirza [sure hotter than Helena] but both playing bimbos who have nothing to do in the entire movie, except to dance about and look hot. Ok Amrita Arora is smoking hot but that whole shit dance on the beaches served no purpose to the movie.
On one side we have this dark twisted human being trying to take over the city, if not the world with his countless drones of "monkeys", there we have a random set of 4 monkeys trying to tell us a story which should never have come out and damaged this mind of mine.
It has taken me a good 4-5 years to get the courage to see the Original Fight Club, Its always better late than never, while I might have missed on this masterpiece earlier, this time no mistakes were made, a beautiful movie, and Bollywood, please FFS stop using the same names as the American/Hollywood movies, if you do, please let us know that the movie does not relate to the namesake and IF IT DOES, DO NOT FUCK UP MOVIES LIKE YOU GUYS DO ALWAYS WITH THOSE REMAKES.
Players, thank fuck I did not watch that, the only good thing about the Bollywood fight club were the sequences with Arora but then again, she has random hot songs in every movie she has been in, Girlfriend was another, "Lesbian love story" oh how crummy that turned out to be also.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Kidderpore/Ekbalpore: A city in a city
Living in a city with a population of close to 5 million is not easy, vast stretches of land with tons of teaming people, the hustle and bustle of a so called Metro city and now work being another variable put into an equation called life.
Fortunately for me, I live in an area called Kidderpore/Ekbalpore which I used to think was just a noisy little neighborhood with randomness and the typical days of life just passing by. Never did I think this one area would actually serve a much larger purpose in life.
For close to 5 years I commuted to an area called Salt Lake for education, my graduation and post graduation courses were done in this area. Roaming about was a necessity as with most college students because no one in their graduation does ever go to class , rather bunks class to roam about freely and explore said world.
Now coming from the "city" of Kidderpore where there were constant fights in school, mad people running about and throwing stones in front of shops, violence on the streets, having our own version of the "bull run" during Eid [yeah ZNMD has nothing on what I have seen] and other random acts of awesomeness, Salt Lake seemed to pale in comparison. It was a ghost town, no matter what time you roam about in that area, barring the office zones, the rest of the place is dead.
I mean I have roamed around at 7 AM, barely 10 people on the street and a long stretch of land that was too, 5 PM same case, not one person can be seen in the balcony of the many houses that litter the street, not many people can be seen on the road. Compare that to Kidderpore, be it 7 AM or 7 PM, or 10 AM or 10 PM there are at least 20-30 people doing nothing but roaming about and having a jolly good time with their friends and all. In fact when I stay awake after a Champs League match , roughly 3 AM there are people on the street just sitting about, probably got kicked out of the house by their wife or they must have been tired from the constant nagging but the point is the place does not feel dead , its bustling with energy, be it in the crazy winters we get here now or the scorching hot summers, Kidderpore/Ekbalpore is the place to be for random madness on the street, people should be charged for sitting and watching the world go by in this area because its just that brilliant.
Cases of awesomeness,
Random fights on the street thanks to the drones of STB students around , every single freaking day with the fight never really taking place [most of the time] this was just a way to make new friends and "bhais" actually.
Crazy lady out near the shops with bricks in her hands chasing random people while the police are busy extorting money from the big trucks.
The traffic jam post 10 PM because of the huge 16 wheelers [not 18] taking the one route through Kidderpore to reach the dock.
At least 20-30 random people on the street 24/7
The amazing celebrations and dance during the puja,christmas, new year, diwali, holi etc etc etc all dancing to the tune of "It's my life" and "Saath Samundar Paar"
The randomness and awesomeness of having a china town like market in your own backyard and being to search for amazing deals and cut prices [Fancy Market]
The running of the bulls [cows] during Eid.
The chasing and beating up of a local goon if he ever is caught , when he tries to steal shoes/slippers from outside the Mosque/Temple.
The brothel located right next to a bakery and tailor shop where the women are always on the lookout for men calling them obscene names and making said obscene gestures.
The hoard of hospitals/nursing homes/pharmacies for God knows what reason, I mean literally there must be like 10-12 nursing homes and 4 hospitals in a radius of 500 meters.
The hidden gem Momo stalls and awesome road side "Popular" biryani/haleem stalls.
The football matches/cricket matches and tournaments held during Independence day where everyone is Messi and all the players play for United or Chelsea or Barcelona when they register their teams name.
The random Kaku going berserk on the street because some "punk" kid is riding his bike at a crazy speed in a locality.
The random abuses thrown about in front of children not caring one bit about destroying the future because none of us ever had one.
Yes Kidderpore might not have the beauty of the city, nor will it have the "educated" culture that the city is known for, actually we do have a kick ass cultured educated side, Chintoo Lee and the others from STB [minority of toppers] would attest to that, this neighborhood still has an amazing charm and feel to it, would not swap it for anything.
Last but certainly not the least bit of Awesomeness comes from St Thomas Boys, KIDDERPORE.
The one and only.
Fortunately for me, I live in an area called Kidderpore/Ekbalpore which I used to think was just a noisy little neighborhood with randomness and the typical days of life just passing by. Never did I think this one area would actually serve a much larger purpose in life.
For close to 5 years I commuted to an area called Salt Lake for education, my graduation and post graduation courses were done in this area. Roaming about was a necessity as with most college students because no one in their graduation does ever go to class , rather bunks class to roam about freely and explore said world.
Now coming from the "city" of Kidderpore where there were constant fights in school, mad people running about and throwing stones in front of shops, violence on the streets, having our own version of the "bull run" during Eid [yeah ZNMD has nothing on what I have seen] and other random acts of awesomeness, Salt Lake seemed to pale in comparison. It was a ghost town, no matter what time you roam about in that area, barring the office zones, the rest of the place is dead.
I mean I have roamed around at 7 AM, barely 10 people on the street and a long stretch of land that was too, 5 PM same case, not one person can be seen in the balcony of the many houses that litter the street, not many people can be seen on the road. Compare that to Kidderpore, be it 7 AM or 7 PM, or 10 AM or 10 PM there are at least 20-30 people doing nothing but roaming about and having a jolly good time with their friends and all. In fact when I stay awake after a Champs League match , roughly 3 AM there are people on the street just sitting about, probably got kicked out of the house by their wife or they must have been tired from the constant nagging but the point is the place does not feel dead , its bustling with energy, be it in the crazy winters we get here now or the scorching hot summers, Kidderpore/Ekbalpore is the place to be for random madness on the street, people should be charged for sitting and watching the world go by in this area because its just that brilliant.
Cases of awesomeness,
Random fights on the street thanks to the drones of STB students around , every single freaking day with the fight never really taking place [most of the time] this was just a way to make new friends and "bhais" actually.
Crazy lady out near the shops with bricks in her hands chasing random people while the police are busy extorting money from the big trucks.
The traffic jam post 10 PM because of the huge 16 wheelers [not 18] taking the one route through Kidderpore to reach the dock.
At least 20-30 random people on the street 24/7
The amazing celebrations and dance during the puja,christmas, new year, diwali, holi etc etc etc all dancing to the tune of "It's my life" and "Saath Samundar Paar"
The randomness and awesomeness of having a china town like market in your own backyard and being to search for amazing deals and cut prices [Fancy Market]
The running of the bulls [cows] during Eid.
The chasing and beating up of a local goon if he ever is caught , when he tries to steal shoes/slippers from outside the Mosque/Temple.
The brothel located right next to a bakery and tailor shop where the women are always on the lookout for men calling them obscene names and making said obscene gestures.
The hoard of hospitals/nursing homes/pharmacies for God knows what reason, I mean literally there must be like 10-12 nursing homes and 4 hospitals in a radius of 500 meters.
The hidden gem Momo stalls and awesome road side "Popular" biryani/haleem stalls.
The football matches/cricket matches and tournaments held during Independence day where everyone is Messi and all the players play for United or Chelsea or Barcelona when they register their teams name.
The random Kaku going berserk on the street because some "punk" kid is riding his bike at a crazy speed in a locality.
The random abuses thrown about in front of children not caring one bit about destroying the future because none of us ever had one.
Yes Kidderpore might not have the beauty of the city, nor will it have the "educated" culture that the city is known for, actually we do have a kick ass cultured educated side, Chintoo Lee and the others from STB [minority of toppers] would attest to that, this neighborhood still has an amazing charm and feel to it, would not swap it for anything.
Last but certainly not the least bit of Awesomeness comes from St Thomas Boys, KIDDERPORE.
The one and only.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
A twist of fate
Fate, that one word which most of us use for our shortcomings, problems, luck and all the other shitty things that happen to us throughout our life.
"Couldn't help it man, guess it was fate that did this"
"Fate brought this on me man, I am fucked, damn it"
Fate, cursed as life is, blaming fate for everything bad that happens seems to be a mindset showing the fragility that us humans have learned and now apply regularly. Fate is not the worst thing in the world, fate has a funny way of making things right over time, Karma of sorts you could say, this blog is particularly about Fate and how it works in mysterious ways.
As you all know by now I have been working now for a good 4 months, touch wood nothing serious has happened to far in terms of BIG screw ups, little screw ups are part and parcel of life and well we only learn from our mistakes.
This case comes to light now, since its been 4 months and I have seen the other side of the green grass as thme sn!frnm`ou~ eirdaaew,7ollege and I were selected for the posts at the company where we work now, Rohit and I were supposed to be brand trainees for the first year, well Rohit was not given that post because he has a slight color blindness problem and hence was given an "Activation" profile, which while we were new in the system thought that he would have to travel to malls and shops and see how products and shows are activated, while I got my brand profile as was promised to us.
4 months later, Rohit is literally doing the job of 5 men handling a ton of stocks, rfas and all going completely crazy with work load and putting in 12 hour shifts on a regular basis, I on the other hand work on just one single brand and well to be frank I do not have much to do now, since my markets and product are already well defined, yes both of us are working in teams which are helpful and friendly and well are pushing our branches of the organization for growth coz all it seems that people want to do is grow and grow with the team they are working with.
When I see Rohit work his ass off and I end up trolling people all the time and being the jackass I can be in office, making shit assed comments and jokes, I feel upset for the bugger since he has to do so much work and well he is taking it with a smile, while I become MR grumpy as soon as something wrong happens or something does not please me, while I was contemplating about why things go wrong and all, epiphany strikes me, it could have been much worse than what I have right now, people are struggling to get jobs, hell I got a fucking fantastic one, people would love to work in a huge company , I got that chance as well. People would love to work in their home city for said large huge company, check I got that too, plus I got awesome bosses and well most colleagues are again good as well, so I don't have much to complain and well learning from Rohit
"Do everything with a smile" , life just can't get better and we all should be happy with all that we have, hell if you are reading this blog, you probably have a smart mobile or a computer and internet, a ton of people don't have that, so we all should not complain.
Coming back to fate, seeing where both us are right now, me leaving office regularly at 7 or somedays even earlier than that and my friend not even thinking of leaving before 9, the funny bit is, that we had a word with the HR who recruited us a few days after joining to know what we would be doing and all, he says
"Actually you have got the Activation profile and Rohit had got the brand profile but in his medical his eye sight became an issue and since you have to deal with a lot of colors we gave him the Activation profile and you the Brand one. Its just a random selection that was done, nothing that big"
4 months down the line, I can see what I could have been doing and what I am doing, will never complain about anything anymore.
Fate, thou art a crazy retarded cruel cool dude.
"Couldn't help it man, guess it was fate that did this"
"Fate brought this on me man, I am fucked, damn it"
Fate, cursed as life is, blaming fate for everything bad that happens seems to be a mindset showing the fragility that us humans have learned and now apply regularly. Fate is not the worst thing in the world, fate has a funny way of making things right over time, Karma of sorts you could say, this blog is particularly about Fate and how it works in mysterious ways.
As you all know by now I have been working now for a good 4 months, touch wood nothing serious has happened to far in terms of BIG screw ups, little screw ups are part and parcel of life and well we only learn from our mistakes.
This case comes to light now, since its been 4 months and I have seen the other side of the green grass as thme sn!frnm`ou~ eirdaaew,
4 months later, Rohit is literally doing the job of 5 men handling a ton of stocks, rfas and all going completely crazy with work load and putting in 12 hour shifts on a regular basis, I on the other hand work on just one single brand and well to be frank I do not have much to do now, since my markets and product are already well defined, yes both of us are working in teams which are helpful and friendly and well are pushing our branches of the organization for growth coz all it seems that people want to do is grow and grow with the team they are working with.
When I see Rohit work his ass off and I end up trolling people all the time and being the jackass I can be in office, making shit assed comments and jokes, I feel upset for the bugger since he has to do so much work and well he is taking it with a smile, while I become MR grumpy as soon as something wrong happens or something does not please me, while I was contemplating about why things go wrong and all, epiphany strikes me, it could have been much worse than what I have right now, people are struggling to get jobs, hell I got a fucking fantastic one, people would love to work in a huge company , I got that chance as well. People would love to work in their home city for said large huge company, check I got that too, plus I got awesome bosses and well most colleagues are again good as well, so I don't have much to complain and well learning from Rohit
"Do everything with a smile" , life just can't get better and we all should be happy with all that we have, hell if you are reading this blog, you probably have a smart mobile or a computer and internet, a ton of people don't have that, so we all should not complain.
Coming back to fate, seeing where both us are right now, me leaving office regularly at 7 or somedays even earlier than that and my friend not even thinking of leaving before 9, the funny bit is, that we had a word with the HR who recruited us a few days after joining to know what we would be doing and all, he says
"Actually you have got the Activation profile and Rohit had got the brand profile but in his medical his eye sight became an issue and since you have to deal with a lot of colors we gave him the Activation profile and you the Brand one. Its just a random selection that was done, nothing that big"
4 months down the line, I can see what I could have been doing and what I am doing, will never complain about anything anymore.
Fate, thou art a crazy retarded cruel cool dude.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
A little big planet
You know people talk about that fact, six degrees of separation, like a chain of chains, you are technically 6 people away via contacts and friends to any person on earth, cool right?
Someone seems to have forgotten about this thing and have started a degree of separation to my likeness, cases come in everyday about how I look like someone a person knows and this has happened way too fucking often to call it a coincidence.
I mean once a while is alright but almost on a regular basis, almost every time I meet someone new after a couple of more meetings they come up with the great line
"You know, You look like xyz person"
Close to 7 billion people and I seem to be a look alike to so many people, its crazy, first time around was in class 4-5 when my Arabic teacher My Khaled, a freak who would scare the shit out of us , came up to me and said in his Egyptian accent
"Sayyed, you look like this student from ze class 8"
I replied,: "not possible sir, it cant be"
Sir: " Yez, he looks like you twin, I will call him here and show you and class"
He calls another kid and makes me stand next to him while I do have a glance at his face and he does at mine, we look nothing a like, firstly he has that afro american hair which is curly like crazy, he was thinner than me, did not wear glasses and well looked nothing like me, Sir failed, class agreed with me.
World : 0
Me : 1
The next time I came around this was when I met an uncle in Sharjah and he said I look like someone I know, hopefully this time around I would not have to stand shoulder to shoulder with another person trying to check who looks like what.
When I came back to Calcutta, thankfully this all stopped for quite a bit, basically because I took time to make a few friends and when I finally did, someone did pop up with that usual line. So this is a conversation with the ISC topper form my batch Achin Agarwal just before an assembly
Achin: "Adeem, do you have an older brother"
Me:"No man, I don't, why?"
Achin: "Coz I am sure someone came a few days back to my house and he looked exactly like you"
Me [Laughs] :" Nah man, not possible"
Achin:"You sure, coz the computer guy who came to fix my computer looked like you"
Now 2 things
I am not someone who has an older brother, well Achin would not know that but its not possible for me to have a sibling and live peacefully with that said person
Secondly, I cannot be some computer fixing guy since this is not my forte, I can rather surf porn and all I can't fix a computer for fucks sake.
So people talk about how its a small world, seeing a person after many years and by coincidence having some sort of connection with a random person makes em say that line "it's a small world", its not a small world, its a fucking huge world with a ton of people .
You just have the luck of meeting people stuck in one country and or one state, its not like we live in America and people just run off to another state or something, this is India where most of us dream of just moving from one part of the city to another and while the young kids have crap assed dreams of moving abroad and working hard as an exec or something, ending up typically being cab drivers or worse, the others are just trying to make ends meet, the world is huge, the world is large and there are 7 billion people just waiting out there to meet people up.
So get out there and stop giving me that dialogue "It's a small world"
Someone seems to have forgotten about this thing and have started a degree of separation to my likeness, cases come in everyday about how I look like someone a person knows and this has happened way too fucking often to call it a coincidence.
I mean once a while is alright but almost on a regular basis, almost every time I meet someone new after a couple of more meetings they come up with the great line
"You know, You look like xyz person"
Close to 7 billion people and I seem to be a look alike to so many people, its crazy, first time around was in class 4-5 when my Arabic teacher My Khaled, a freak who would scare the shit out of us , came up to me and said in his Egyptian accent
"Sayyed, you look like this student from ze class 8"
I replied,: "not possible sir, it cant be"
Sir: " Yez, he looks like you twin, I will call him here and show you and class"
He calls another kid and makes me stand next to him while I do have a glance at his face and he does at mine, we look nothing a like, firstly he has that afro american hair which is curly like crazy, he was thinner than me, did not wear glasses and well looked nothing like me, Sir failed, class agreed with me.
World : 0
Me : 1
The next time I came around this was when I met an uncle in Sharjah and he said I look like someone I know, hopefully this time around I would not have to stand shoulder to shoulder with another person trying to check who looks like what.
When I came back to Calcutta, thankfully this all stopped for quite a bit, basically because I took time to make a few friends and when I finally did, someone did pop up with that usual line. So this is a conversation with the ISC topper form my batch Achin Agarwal just before an assembly
Achin: "Adeem, do you have an older brother"
Me:"No man, I don't, why?"
Achin: "Coz I am sure someone came a few days back to my house and he looked exactly like you"
Me [Laughs] :" Nah man, not possible"
Achin:"You sure, coz the computer guy who came to fix my computer looked like you"
Now 2 things
I am not someone who has an older brother, well Achin would not know that but its not possible for me to have a sibling and live peacefully with that said person
Secondly, I cannot be some computer fixing guy since this is not my forte, I can rather surf porn and all I can't fix a computer for fucks sake.
So people talk about how its a small world, seeing a person after many years and by coincidence having some sort of connection with a random person makes em say that line "it's a small world", its not a small world, its a fucking huge world with a ton of people .
You just have the luck of meeting people stuck in one country and or one state, its not like we live in America and people just run off to another state or something, this is India where most of us dream of just moving from one part of the city to another and while the young kids have crap assed dreams of moving abroad and working hard as an exec or something, ending up typically being cab drivers or worse, the others are just trying to make ends meet, the world is huge, the world is large and there are 7 billion people just waiting out there to meet people up.
So get out there and stop giving me that dialogue "It's a small world"
Thursday, March 29, 2012
A chapter ends, again
Only July 14th 2010, I started a journey, after the glorious victory of the Spanish Armada over the Flying Dutchmen, it was time to grow and gain some knowledge about the most dreaded thing in life, "a business" or "work" as we call it.
Especially since I had just finished a laborious 3 year slog to get my degree, graduation was done, it was time for a post graduation course. Shuddering a lot since this was a "professional" institute, meaning, no bunking, no breaks, long hours and wearing corporate clothes and having corporate etiquette, where the fuck was I going? What the fuck was I going to do for 2 years.
Dressed to kill and not wanting to leave my humble yet comfortable abode, the journey to reach the said institute was a long one, starting early in the morning with the pixies still have laid their dust in my eyes, wiping them away, having a morning constitutional and making my breakfast, easy take? Not for one who would stay awake till the stars were bright at night and the howling dogs would have slept in the cool breeze of an open world, here I was about to begin the journey which would ultimately lead me to a closed world where I could still explore a lot more than expected, ironic.
The destination reached, making my way up a mountain of stairs, a little fear , a little excitement but not a lot of happiness. Who wants to gain more knowledge about stuff they don't like? This was not going to be a oration for 2 years about football, gaming or music, rather about marketing, finance and HR.
The stairs led me up to a huge room, with 180 trapped souls all either baying to be let out from the torture or just to get over with the day, fortunately meeting my brother, long lost saved my soul for the coming 2 years... I was sure these 2 years would be hell on earth, how wrong I was.
Fast forward to present day and tomorrow is my final day of reckoning in the institute, while some of us have been absorbed by the torture called as work, I would suggest those who still have a few days left before joining to enjoy each day, as once work starts, there is no coming back, there is no life, that is life for 40 or so years.
While this post starts off in a very sad tone, its time to rejoice for the moments that made it a quite extraordinary 2 years with some kickass friends.
1: The first day, returning home in a taxi at 8:30 PM when we spent the entire day from 9 AM in college, stuck in a traffic jam, rain pouring into the car and our laptops getting soaked, abusing a lot of people, wow, a amazing day.
2:The first session with the owner of the college and how he trolled us hard by saying that we were the worst ever batch in the history of the college and that "retests" were being introduced just because of us.
3: The first class by the Ghajini [search for the post on this]
4: The first time we had to collect money for Serendipity and the following day when we were on troll mode and we were on the same mode again in the 2nd serendipity.
5:The endless torturing and picking on the Mriganko, a freak who runs like he is being chased by the ladyboys of thailand and he seems to be one.
6: Showing everyone my "magic trick"
7: Shouting out aloud the Bonbon laws and being a dick to most girls in the college by constantly trolling em, telling em to wear decent clothes and if they did would tell em all the sickest perverted jokes ever.
8: Getting to troll about with the group of 5 in college, Swati, Wasim, Nangto [prithwi] and chutiya Rahul
9:Meeting the biggest fattest whale in college and yet being one of the funniest people to be around and having a genuine heart, Sethji
10: Having a kickass time during my internship, pissing off the boss, causing all sorts of havoc and not working.
11:Watching the Nangto dance about like there is no stopping him, the best dancer ever in the college, all bow down to the king.
As the final day dawns on me, us, the people who have started being slaves to organizations and companies , we all feel the same, work is not what its all cracked up to be.
While we all thought of earning money and having our own freedom in thinking and decision making, we are still slaves in a system, especially since we are freshers having no idea of what work actually is and how trolly people can be on newbies.
Its torturous, its laborious,its typical work.
While we all bitched about how pathetic college was, it seems that the theory of relativity crops up again.
Nursery>KG>Primary School>Secondary School>Graduation>Post Graduation>Work.
Work sucks, college didn't.
Oh to go back again, how the fuck did I grow up so fast?
22 years in a blink, 40 more years of crummy work.
Life trolls us all.
Especially since I had just finished a laborious 3 year slog to get my degree, graduation was done, it was time for a post graduation course. Shuddering a lot since this was a "professional" institute, meaning, no bunking, no breaks, long hours and wearing corporate clothes and having corporate etiquette, where the fuck was I going? What the fuck was I going to do for 2 years.
Dressed to kill and not wanting to leave my humble yet comfortable abode, the journey to reach the said institute was a long one, starting early in the morning with the pixies still have laid their dust in my eyes, wiping them away, having a morning constitutional and making my breakfast, easy take? Not for one who would stay awake till the stars were bright at night and the howling dogs would have slept in the cool breeze of an open world, here I was about to begin the journey which would ultimately lead me to a closed world where I could still explore a lot more than expected, ironic.
The destination reached, making my way up a mountain of stairs, a little fear , a little excitement but not a lot of happiness. Who wants to gain more knowledge about stuff they don't like? This was not going to be a oration for 2 years about football, gaming or music, rather about marketing, finance and HR.
The stairs led me up to a huge room, with 180 trapped souls all either baying to be let out from the torture or just to get over with the day, fortunately meeting my brother, long lost saved my soul for the coming 2 years... I was sure these 2 years would be hell on earth, how wrong I was.
Fast forward to present day and tomorrow is my final day of reckoning in the institute, while some of us have been absorbed by the torture called as work, I would suggest those who still have a few days left before joining to enjoy each day, as once work starts, there is no coming back, there is no life, that is life for 40 or so years.
While this post starts off in a very sad tone, its time to rejoice for the moments that made it a quite extraordinary 2 years with some kickass friends.
1: The first day, returning home in a taxi at 8:30 PM when we spent the entire day from 9 AM in college, stuck in a traffic jam, rain pouring into the car and our laptops getting soaked, abusing a lot of people, wow, a amazing day.
2:The first session with the owner of the college and how he trolled us hard by saying that we were the worst ever batch in the history of the college and that "retests" were being introduced just because of us.
3: The first class by the Ghajini [search for the post on this]
4: The first time we had to collect money for Serendipity and the following day when we were on troll mode and we were on the same mode again in the 2nd serendipity.
5:The endless torturing and picking on the Mriganko, a freak who runs like he is being chased by the ladyboys of thailand and he seems to be one.
6: Showing everyone my "magic trick"
7: Shouting out aloud the Bonbon laws and being a dick to most girls in the college by constantly trolling em, telling em to wear decent clothes and if they did would tell em all the sickest perverted jokes ever.
8: Getting to troll about with the group of 5 in college, Swati, Wasim, Nangto [prithwi] and chutiya Rahul
9:Meeting the biggest fattest whale in college and yet being one of the funniest people to be around and having a genuine heart, Sethji
10: Having a kickass time during my internship, pissing off the boss, causing all sorts of havoc and not working.
11:Watching the Nangto dance about like there is no stopping him, the best dancer ever in the college, all bow down to the king.
As the final day dawns on me, us, the people who have started being slaves to organizations and companies , we all feel the same, work is not what its all cracked up to be.
While we all thought of earning money and having our own freedom in thinking and decision making, we are still slaves in a system, especially since we are freshers having no idea of what work actually is and how trolly people can be on newbies.
Its torturous, its laborious,its typical work.
While we all bitched about how pathetic college was, it seems that the theory of relativity crops up again.
Nursery>KG>Primary School>Secondary School>Graduation>Post Graduation>Work.
Work sucks, college didn't.
Oh to go back again, how the fuck did I grow up so fast?
22 years in a blink, 40 more years of crummy work.
Life trolls us all.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
the Wedding Part 3
The morning on the day of the wedding was like any other , birds be flying, I grabbing a newspaper and reading the comic section,a typical lazy day except I was not at my own house but at Rohit's and it was just about to get crazy in da house.
The entire Sarkar family was on "holy cow , shit gonna start soon" mode, with people running about and getting the final checks before moving to the hall which was booked for the wedding. Now Bengali weddings don't go for that "lets have just 1 massive hall" kind of idea, they go fr the glamorous " We shall book a complete building which has historical significance and was once owned buy a king".
This is exactly what was booked by Rohit's family, a big palatial home with a huge lawn at the back and huge crazy corridors and rooms on the ground floor, while the first and 2nd floors were off limits as people resided in them.
The morning was crazy as everyone was supposed to shift to that home and have breakfast there, so people were loading a lot of goods, utensils, food items into cars and trying to stuff people into the same car and moving into the same rented "palace". Plus this was a Feb wedding but one this day of the wedding , especially in the morning it was screaming for a fire and was bloody warm, with me wearing a dark t shirt, I looked like I had just come from a swimming pool, sweating like a crazy person.
Also when Rohit and I reached the place along with a few of his relatives, we found out that the groom's relatives were to come over in the morning and have a look at the place once over, crazy panic mode sets in as we have to make breakfast for them. Breakfast was always on the cards but we were going in a slow way as it was just for us, now we had to go into over gear and make a lot of "Loochi and Vegetables".
When the set of ladies came to the hall, and they all were looking fantastic, we made sure they got what they wanted, food that is. Fed em and shoved em off to go back to their "Kashmir House" so that we bongs could hog on the food, especially sitting in an open yard and having the fear of some "mayonnaise" falling from the sky and acting as a condiment to your food is always scary. We sat under a covered porch right next to the garden, with Rohit's fraaands from NITK coming into the party and me meeting a few of em, you know the southies that Rohit warned me not to make fun off. Babla and Nagu also joined the gang and we ate like crazy.
After breakfast we had nothing much to do but kill time, so while some of Rohit's friends went off to "Discover Calcutta", which meant a trip to Park Street and Victoria Memorial, quite a few of us stayed back for some light assed banter. Bhabhiji, Buddhesh, Joyraj, Nagu, Babla and if I missed someone , you didn't make an impression on me that day. jokes were flying about as Babla brought out one PJ after another ,kepping us entertained and being the typical Babla as he is, plus he was making up for the fact that he would not be there for the wedding as he had to play at a show, typical rock stardom, has to pay a price ultimately missed out a lot.
After lunch we all retired back, well Nagu and I did, we needed to bathe and clean up before we went to the wedding. Evening comes and Nagu comes over to my place before we go to the wedding, both looking dapper in kurta's and all, we looked so different compared to what we normally wear, it was insane. Reaching the said hall for the wedding, we see that it is already filling up with people and they are already taking snaps of the bride and groom, people lining up greeting them, we acting like trolls and greeting random people who we don't know, getting our pictures taken and also making sure that bhabhiji and Chintoo got their pictures taken, together as well so that chintoo can never be forever alone.
While taking pictures and the likes were alright, the real stars of the night, barring the couples were the starters, I mean the food, holy cow did Rohit get this thing right. the food at the wedding was fantastic, especially this crazy chicken starter, now I know that my love for chicken has no bounds but SWEEEET JESUS this was absolutely fantastic, I was out hunting the waiters so that they could bring me this spicy chicken all the time. Hell one waiter was always coming to me and serving me the chicken first since I loved it so much, I must have had at least a pound of that chicken, easy.
Then these was this fantastic fried fish as well, usually I don't eat seafood but Rohit told me "You gotta have the fish". Me mom and dad also told me to have it and again this one hit the ball out of the stadium, the food was just fucking amazing at the wedding, plus the fact these was ice cream of 5 flavours, it just could not get any better.
There was some work to be done as well, what happens in bong weddings is that the male members of the family have to carry the bride from the mandap to another spot on the garden, now Rohit's sister is not fat at all but us flabby men trying to life a lady up seemed to be such a hard thing to do, the distance was not more than 20 meters, but my God, we had to take help from like 20 men, all switching positions so that they don't get tired, I did my bit as well, making sure sister ji did not fall down and make us all look like complete noobs. Arms tired, work done, this was my workout for the entire week if not month.
Work done = party time, which means eating more and more, stuffing myself with the said chicken even after dinner is done, sadly Babla missed this entire feast and we had to keep some food aside for him, actually we had to keep a lot of food aside for the fat ass, he came at around 11 PM, but as soon as I thought the party would really start with Babla is full swing and the fact that there is this bit about all the members staying up all night after the marriage for a bit of fun, I had to return back home thanks to my office, lets just say It was not easy to go back since Babla had come back and was giving me the greatest tirade in his lowest audible voice. All in all another big wedding was done, congratulations to the newly weds who returned back to the good old US of A.
Coming next, Chintoo's wedding, for sure.
The entire Sarkar family was on "holy cow , shit gonna start soon" mode, with people running about and getting the final checks before moving to the hall which was booked for the wedding. Now Bengali weddings don't go for that "lets have just 1 massive hall" kind of idea, they go fr the glamorous " We shall book a complete building which has historical significance and was once owned buy a king".
This is exactly what was booked by Rohit's family, a big palatial home with a huge lawn at the back and huge crazy corridors and rooms on the ground floor, while the first and 2nd floors were off limits as people resided in them.
The morning was crazy as everyone was supposed to shift to that home and have breakfast there, so people were loading a lot of goods, utensils, food items into cars and trying to stuff people into the same car and moving into the same rented "palace". Plus this was a Feb wedding but one this day of the wedding , especially in the morning it was screaming for a fire and was bloody warm, with me wearing a dark t shirt, I looked like I had just come from a swimming pool, sweating like a crazy person.
Also when Rohit and I reached the place along with a few of his relatives, we found out that the groom's relatives were to come over in the morning and have a look at the place once over, crazy panic mode sets in as we have to make breakfast for them. Breakfast was always on the cards but we were going in a slow way as it was just for us, now we had to go into over gear and make a lot of "Loochi and Vegetables".
When the set of ladies came to the hall, and they all were looking fantastic, we made sure they got what they wanted, food that is. Fed em and shoved em off to go back to their "Kashmir House" so that we bongs could hog on the food, especially sitting in an open yard and having the fear of some "mayonnaise" falling from the sky and acting as a condiment to your food is always scary. We sat under a covered porch right next to the garden, with Rohit's fraaands from NITK coming into the party and me meeting a few of em, you know the southies that Rohit warned me not to make fun off. Babla and Nagu also joined the gang and we ate like crazy.
After breakfast we had nothing much to do but kill time, so while some of Rohit's friends went off to "Discover Calcutta", which meant a trip to Park Street and Victoria Memorial, quite a few of us stayed back for some light assed banter. Bhabhiji, Buddhesh, Joyraj, Nagu, Babla and if I missed someone , you didn't make an impression on me that day. jokes were flying about as Babla brought out one PJ after another ,kepping us entertained and being the typical Babla as he is, plus he was making up for the fact that he would not be there for the wedding as he had to play at a show, typical rock stardom, has to pay a price ultimately missed out a lot.
After lunch we all retired back, well Nagu and I did, we needed to bathe and clean up before we went to the wedding. Evening comes and Nagu comes over to my place before we go to the wedding, both looking dapper in kurta's and all, we looked so different compared to what we normally wear, it was insane. Reaching the said hall for the wedding, we see that it is already filling up with people and they are already taking snaps of the bride and groom, people lining up greeting them, we acting like trolls and greeting random people who we don't know, getting our pictures taken and also making sure that bhabhiji and Chintoo got their pictures taken, together as well so that chintoo can never be forever alone.
While taking pictures and the likes were alright, the real stars of the night, barring the couples were the starters, I mean the food, holy cow did Rohit get this thing right. the food at the wedding was fantastic, especially this crazy chicken starter, now I know that my love for chicken has no bounds but SWEEEET JESUS this was absolutely fantastic, I was out hunting the waiters so that they could bring me this spicy chicken all the time. Hell one waiter was always coming to me and serving me the chicken first since I loved it so much, I must have had at least a pound of that chicken, easy.
Then these was this fantastic fried fish as well, usually I don't eat seafood but Rohit told me "You gotta have the fish". Me mom and dad also told me to have it and again this one hit the ball out of the stadium, the food was just fucking amazing at the wedding, plus the fact these was ice cream of 5 flavours, it just could not get any better.
There was some work to be done as well, what happens in bong weddings is that the male members of the family have to carry the bride from the mandap to another spot on the garden, now Rohit's sister is not fat at all but us flabby men trying to life a lady up seemed to be such a hard thing to do, the distance was not more than 20 meters, but my God, we had to take help from like 20 men, all switching positions so that they don't get tired, I did my bit as well, making sure sister ji did not fall down and make us all look like complete noobs. Arms tired, work done, this was my workout for the entire week if not month.
Work done = party time, which means eating more and more, stuffing myself with the said chicken even after dinner is done, sadly Babla missed this entire feast and we had to keep some food aside for him, actually we had to keep a lot of food aside for the fat ass, he came at around 11 PM, but as soon as I thought the party would really start with Babla is full swing and the fact that there is this bit about all the members staying up all night after the marriage for a bit of fun, I had to return back home thanks to my office, lets just say It was not easy to go back since Babla had come back and was giving me the greatest tirade in his lowest audible voice. All in all another big wedding was done, congratulations to the newly weds who returned back to the good old US of A.
Coming next, Chintoo's wedding, for sure.
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