Best Fest Pests

Now i do admit that i never knew what fests were when i was in Dubai,had no freaking idea,this fest thing came full throttle when i came back to calcutta and was in the glorious school whoes name you all should know about,the first fest i did attend was held by the APJ school where adil ,gablu,nagu,babla,afzal and chintoo and i played a couple of songs and won.
Nevertheless i wouldnt attend any fest until and unless i had to do something there,like play in the school band or something,coz ultimately it would get boring and cliched ,plus it would become a collosal waste of my time.

So when me pal rohit called me up on the 5th of december and asked me to come along to a fest i was skeptical to say the least,but since i dont meet me school friends all that much due to most of us being scattered away to different parts of the city and for rohit the country ,i thought what the heck at least the old stb gang will be back,at least a few of us would be.
I was a hell more skeptical about attending the fest cause it was "Umang" ,now for all you noobs like me who dont know jack about fests,this "fest" is probably the biggest in terms of college fests in calcutta,it brings in those MTV splitsvilla and fucking roadies contestants for whom people go ga ga over ,all fucking fake attitude wannabe shit,i hate all that crap,most of me friends hate that crap as well,but i went coz babla was gonna play,adil as well,so it was gonna be a threefor.

So we met at Bhaggu[thats what its called] ,now a little history lesson for all of you,Bhaggu is this college which looks like a housing complex,in the middle of calcutta[my geography aint good so forgive me],where only 2 types of students are allowed,3 types
1:Gujjus
2:Rich snobs
3:People who couldnt get admitted to any other decent college

A few of me pals have studied there and are still studying,so off we went,we met sumitano on the way and before entering the college we were frisked and checked,we saw the real security of the college,most of em were these big intimidating looking guys from the college itself[students] one of em was a kinda school mate of ours Shergil ,you remember him from the maa ka kasam episode,so of course he did meet us talked to us for a while before [and i fucking kid you not] talking and using his "walky talkie" to find out some details etc,i mean come on the college is the size of a housing fucking society how the fuck do you require walky talkies?,nevertheless he was good enough to let us enter a second time without having to go to the back of the line....thats the use of contacts.

We later met babla,gujju ,adil and a few other people who were to play with the guys,babla gujju and a couple of guys played a LP song with a saliva song "king of the stereo" but as usual they had technical difficulties,the performance was brilliant,but the technical snags cost them a lota time,thats the one thing babla has learnt from so many shows
"Umm excuse us,we are facing some technical difficulties,please reset our time,we want to start again"

The other bands were ok ,some were really crap botching up some really good songs,Adil ka band toh sab ko maar dala,playing a medly of RHCP[give it away,californication,dani california] before ripping apart the competition with an original,well that was or at least should be good enough for em to win,i dont know the results yet,but these werent the best parts of the day by any shot.
As soon as babla went on stage,chintoo and i started shouting,along with sumitano "BABLA BABLA BABLA" and since we are former STB students we could shout much more than the netire crowd fo 200-300 people out there,yup just the 3 of us
I chipped in with
"JEET KE AAOGE"
and all that,of course we cheered for Gujju as well,screaming Gujju as loud as we could,no one dared say jack to us even though we were surrounded by the gujju population of calcutta.

One of the best bits started after babla had finished playing and he was in the crowd with us,this freaky hot mc was constantly on the mike asking people to shout out the different sponsors names like Power FM,Y.E.S stationary,Wild Stone perfume and all,we had one simple answer to it all
so
"Can people tell me who are our stationary partners?"
"RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"
"Can you all scream out the name of our radio partners?????"
"RRRRRRAAAAAAAAJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJUUUUUUUUU"
"Can people scream out our hospitality partners?"
"GGGGGUUUUULLLLIIIISSSTAAAAANNNN HHHHHOOOTTTTTEEEEEELLLLLL"
They even had this fashion designer called Kalol chakka Dutta
"who is the special guest of our fashion show????"
"RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAJJJJJJJJJJJUUUUUUUUUUU"
And after each question the lady would throw out chocolates and man people would fight for the chocolates,forturnately sumitano was able to grab a kitkat and we shared it amongst ourselves,the eight of us.
Oh yeah there were parts when people on stage would scream for bhawanipore and we would scream out
"ekbalpore,kidderpore,jamalpara,metiaburuz and sonargachi"

Sumitano even came up with a classic "Carmaker"-karmaker to a chick who sounded him off for the dick he was trying to be,although there were a ton of wannabes and assholes in the entire para,we were the only ones who seemed to enjoy the show,along with a few other mad fucks who wanted to start a moshpit but we couldnt do that coz we are all decent people who dont do jack.....



NOT!


PS:there were a ton of hot chicks present there,but we really didnt give a fuck to any of em,us few guys were having such a blast that all of us later crashed at my place[barring sumitano] and watched a bit of DESHDROHI!

Black Saddath 3:How many times can we screw up?

Now although we had a killer line up for the band,i mean we did have one of the best guitar players in calcutta playing for us...if you assholes dont know already it was and still is Adil,guitar fucking God man,we had the ever improving son of the God.not Jesus,am talking bout Babla,playing the bass and on certain occasions the rhythm guitar as well,for all the wealth of talent we had,we screwed up so much more than a new prostitute in the flesh trade,i mean it was either me or nagu or gablu or pogo always screwing up sometime or another ,i dont think we ever had a perfect show,well we did have 1 perfect show ,that was the first competition i went to,absolutely perfect no glitches or problems at all,but as usual all good thing come to an end,and in this case a stuttering end.

The first real screw up i remember is of course of the nagu man[somraj for all of you people who keep forgetting],the guy is a pretty decent drummer but for some reason at home and at practice he will be perfect but on stage he is a nervous wreck like he is getting the reports to find out if he has AIDS or not,i mean just before we would go on stage he would be in pieces,moving all around the back stage,shaking his sticks all the time,asking the others bout the layout of the songs,the counts and all,and almost on a regular basis he would jack up some song or another by missing a beat,losing his drumstick[not a chicken one] or just forgetting what to do in a song.He has screwed up in almost every show,but we should cut him some slack coz he is partly bihari.....

Then we had another screw up when we went to play at nicco park,we were playing the ever classic "Fear of the Dark"-Iron Maiden,and afzal did screw up the timing of one of the parts,but adil made up for it and we won the bloody competition ,we still were better than almost every other band,even after the screw up we were that damn good,so it really doesnt count as a screw up.

There was this show with me playing with pogo,gablu,eeessshhhkkkkyyyyy and sumitano dickhead!
yes sumitano was gonna SING?????yes oh yes he was,again we decided to play that good old stable STB song "Breaking the Law"-Judas Priest ,and man did we suck,i almost gave up halfway through the song when pogo decides to take it up a notch and he fucking dropped his drumstick yet again and we sounded crap,although we were placed like 12th out of 30 bands,we did get some respect coz gablu improvised and did a quite unique solo.By the way Sumits singin was really off man,as off as you waking your dad at 3 in the morning for some cola,oh wait nagu has already done that to his dad.

Then an infamous horlicks fest ,in fact 2 tales have to be told from this one fest which i attended twice,so the first time we went we had to fight with our Vice Princy Madar chod Wheatley didnt allow us to attend the fest but thanks to LJ Fuller ,our "distinguished" princi we could attend it that too on short notice,so when we did go to the show [all 6 of us] we were told we can go on stage with just 3 instruments.....so obviously guitar check,bass check,drum check,rhythm???? keyboard?????
ummm no way......so i said "fuck it i aint goin on stage to be a choir singin group"
babla and gablu did go,although afzal sang well,babla and gablu sang off scale and off tune......but thats what we get in a bachcha fest.
The 2nd time around the fest was attended by babla,nagu chintoo and me,adil couldnt attend coz he was one of the judges,so we and by we i mean adil made a kickass rap rock song "Godfather",which to tell you the truth is amazing,and we practiced our ass off for that song,made it amazing and we were gonna perform that one song and that song alone,then babla said "No we need another song",we did do "American Idiot"-Greenday but it wasnt good,so we decided to not do that,but play and extended version of Godfather,the day of the show came and we played Godfather,everyone liked it .....and i mean everyone ,we played the extended version and we rocked and kickass,then when we were about to go off stage,
Babla:And we have another song for you guys..........American Idiot
and he starts playing......nagu who has left the drums runs back to start playing,i had switched off the keyboard and now had to find me tones again,and i kid you not it was the Worst rendition of any song EVER!....not even fucking close to anything good.....and as usual nagu forgot the song and the timings and all....as usual....oh yeah i stopped playing halfway through the song coz i completely forgot it......
safe to say we didnt win.......

There was another show which out dear sir Hiland told us to go to,where we had to play one hindi song at least,so adil picked up that aadat song and we went to the show,man it was bad,firstly all the schools were those christian schools,they all brought their choirs,we were the only "band",when the competition did start they all sang choir songs with just one or 2 instruments,we guys were all the while cursing Hiland,who was busy flirting with all the girls possible,it was an anglo chinese paradise man,we went to play on stage with as usual our staple "Breaking the Law" and "Its my Life" which were good,but Aadat was so way off,only adil and babla were any good that day,afzal gablu nagu and i sucked ass BIG TIME

Recently we played at nagu's college,where a massive BETRAY happened,babla was supposed to play with us but at the last minute he said he couldnt play with us coz "Weaponshop" were gonna play there.......anyways Adil did compensate by making 3 songs in 2 days [they were decent songs] we also decided to play "Kryptonite"-3 Doors Down,where i would play the SOLO....yay.....but the person singing the song would be Momocha Furailatpam Sharma[i know the spellings all wrong] he is this seniors of nagu,and you dont get one word of what he says in English,as russel peters defines so well....
"dont say nothing bed".......check him out on youtube
The songs we played that day,well some of em were gay,as usual Momocha-da.....came up on stage for the final performance....he forgot the timings the words and people couldnt make head or tail of what he was singing
The other songs were sung by chintoo,and as usual nagu would screw up,chintoo screwed up,i also did screw up but people couldnt make out my faults......the best performer of that day was gujju on bass...
by the way babla's decision not to play with us is the first and most MASSIVE BETRAY!
Weaponshop did win the competition tied with another band.......BETRAY?

Now after 2 years of being on the music circuit i have hung up my "boots" "bags" and "keyboards",am quite pleased with all that i have been part with......oh the crazy good old days.......if only i really could go back.....i bet almost everyone thinks the same........by the way WEAPONSHOP ARE FUCKING AWESOME....i did go to one of their shows .....so do check em out if possible at all

PS:I know i took a long time to make this post,but i was very ill for a week.....just recovered.....so enjoy....