Weddings are completely crazy, especially in India, you get the crazy relatives always asking you "When is your wedding?" or "Oh my how much he/she has grown". Pretty embarrassing stuff happens, of course there must be some drama from some family member at the wedding.
I never really work hard during my relatives weddings, so when Chintoo told me that Nagu, Babla and I would do at least some work for his and now my sister's wedding, it seemed quite odd, nevertheless that whole wedding bit is for the next blog post, this time we have just one thing to discuss, "Bhabhiji"
You see, a long time back I had made a prophecy , Rohit would be the one who would get married first amongst the 4 of us, chintoo might have been small, shy and bashful with women but he seems to have the strongest bond with the female species, one specimen in fact. Babla might have some argument with that but lets not dwell into that.
While jokes have been made about how they got together, rejection, approval, that whole romantic beach thingy and all, Babla and I only cared about one thing, meeting the lady who took dear Chintoo's heart away.
When we found out that we would be receiving Rohit's better half from the airport, we thought "Screw the other southie buggers coming over, we just wanna meet her", the typical kameene we are.
The flight was at 6 in the morning, babla and I stayed over at Rohit's where we had a meeting with another of his NITK pals, Buddhesh, nice guy and all, when we were chatting I found something rather freaky
Buddhesh " You know Prasoona and I were............."
Me : " what? i didn't hear"
Buddh " she is my girlfriend"
Me : " WHAT????"
Buddh: " Yeah, you didn't know that, Rohit didn't tell you?" he says with a straight face
Me : "Fuck no!"
He calls Rohit over and I ask him
"WTF man? Buddhesh and Nalla are a couple?"
He looks at me like I am some crazy bugger, so does Buddh
Chintoo "WTF are you on?"
Me :" Arrey that's what Buddhesh said"
Buddh: " No, I said Classmate"
Me : "Fuck my hearing"
Anyways while Babla gave a nice night time lecture about Pagans,Belief, Religion and jinns till 4 in the morning, we were up by 6 to reach the airport since now rohit told us the flight was at 7:30. Screw bathing and all, we just put on some random clothes in the winter morning and off we went, Nagu joined us from his place.
We reached the airport by 6:30, having more than an hour in hand, since planes are always late, we went over to a CCD to have a good old breakfast, chocolate cake slice, sandwiches and the lot. After we were done, which took a good 45 mins, Babla went to the loo, he came back in 5 mins.
Me :" You went for a crap?"
Babla: "yes but, the toilets suck ass"
Me :" yeah I know its bad in almost all places here, hence I have a list of places where i can crap, like Malls and all"
We continue this conversation while we are waiting at the arrival gates, I keep blabbering about how shit these toilets in the Calcutta international airport is and how I don't even dream about pissing there, when my dear Nagu bursts out
"You know about Railway toilets?
i have fucking stayed over at railway stations
I have pissed there
I have crapped there
I have even had a bath there and changed my clothes there"
In his typical loud voice
We look around, every body who was there, especially this old uncle are staring at us like I walked in with a bomb and yelled something in the airport.
Now we had not met bhabhiji at all, Nagu had met her when he was in Bangalore for the Metallica concert, so he was our eyes, as you know a picture is different from reality, so every time some lady was walking past the gate we looked at Nagu for the sign if it was her or not. The arrival board first showed her flight status at around 7 AM, flipping wildly, we are expecting it to show "arrived" but it shows "DELAYED".
I let out a FUCK and start dialing Chintoo's number, babla tells me to wait and then it starts flipping again and baam this time it has arrived
"YAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY" we all scream, again said uncle looking at us like we just shot him in the leg.
After a little time this short sweet lady comes out and she looks at us and smiles at us, we turn back , nagu gives us the nod of approval and I scream out in this shrill voice "BHAAAAABHIIIIIJIIIIIIIIII", again everyone is looking at well me.
The first meeting with the bhabhiji was good, I mean the 3 of us ate her head when we were going back to Rohit's , was a long 90 minute ride, which I don't think she will ever forget.
Oh and now after being part of the nonsense and merryment we can safely say that bhabhiji is part of the group
Not just coz we got a name for her, like every member of the group but that she can take a joke and I mean a lotta jokes.
A toast to bhabhiji!!!
May the next time you come to calcutta say "Chintoo Weds Bhabhiji"
Showing posts with label Babla. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Babla. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Two and a half "high" men
I have often been told that drunks bear their soul out and say whatever comes to their mind, things that are deep inside their heart are also laid out bare to the rest of the world in a heap of realization, laughter, seriousness, empty bottles and glasses , sorrow with just a whiff of alcohol, well not a whiff, more like they put on Eu De Alcohol made by Tommy Hilfiger or something.
When Chintoo came back to calcutta, Babla laid down one day that there would be a booze session one day, with me included in it,Chintoo, babla , Nagu and I accepted, me of course would not touch any more alcohol, that whole vodka thingy was a mistake and God will forgive me for that, well I may burn in hell for all the porno but I sure as hell ain't going down because of booze.
They were to drink and drink a lot, so a plan was made as to which day they would get smashed, that day didn't come as Nagu ran away like a douche to Bangalore for no reason, it was left to the three of us, while I was adamant that I would not drink, babla was all about making me smoke some weed.
"Fucker, If you don't drink YOU HAVE TO SMOKE WEED"
Although I agreed, I knew I wouldn't have any from that man whore, as we call him. On the day we planned to get drunk, Babla as usual did not come on time, to be fair we don't expect him to, he has become a big star ever since India's Got Talent and the fuck all has lost all his sense of time and weight management, looks like a friggin balloon, hell his "squeeze" did not recognize him from some pics which were taken around a year back. Using that line "Babla is pregnant" has become old now, he seems to have a gestation period of like 3 years now.
Getting back to the point, we reached the pub at around 6, but we didn't enter as we thought it was way too early to start, well Rohit thought it was way too early, so off we went to a place I hate a lot and haven't been to in like a year or two, a bookstore, Oxford's, seeing em geeks and nerds there trying to be cool and reading some shit, for once I fell out of place, it was that bad, leaving that place was a relief for me, the last book I read was for a presentation, that too I got the summary online, Chintoo and I did have one moment to remember, we found the rack that contained the erotica, well I found it, pointed it out to chintoo who walked away as usual, especially now since he is committed , no more porno for me amigo ,poor lad.
Next stop was the bar, it was around 7 PM and we expected to get a table, unfortunately all the tables were filled up, hell people were waiting on the others to leave, its friggin 7 and people are out to get drunk, this is my Calcutta.
After waiting a few minutes we finally got the worst table at the pub, but it was still a place to sit, as Chintoo said "We came here to get sloshed, not worry about the seats you chut".
Chintoo had come with a game plan, eat less, drink more, and he started with a Budweiser beer, while I started with a pepsi and a plate of chips, Babla had instructed chintoo to drink slowly and to take his time, I also ordered the Chicken Ala Kiev, for the people not in the know, that is chicken, stuffed with bread, butter and cheese , then deep fried, can't go wrong there, no fucking way. While the kiev took almost 40 minutes to arrive, we dug in on the chips , when the kiev did come and we started hoggin on that, Babla entered looking fat overgrown and pregnant, we are used to seeing him now, wearing an XXXXL shirt to cover his bulge.
While Rohit was all about how the beer was light and gave him a little buzz, the real drunk from our group came up and started with whiskey, 30 mls to start with,here the fun begins, while the first shot was not anything worth talking about barring the fact that Babla was on a solo mission to finish all of the "chanachur " in the pub, at one point of time he was told that the chanachur was finished.
The next set of drinks were 60 ML whiskey shots or whatever they can be called, diluted with water or pepsi, after the 3rd drink things started to get interesting. Chintoo finally drunk called his girl up and spend nearly 20 minutes saying "I love you" and then the next 10 minutes in a drunk state saying "I am sorry, I am sorry".
Babla on the other hand was more worried about making things "Fly" in a weird looney tone. "Adeem, FLYYYYYYYYY, no say it right, FFFFFEEEEEELLLLLLLAAAAAAAIIIIII"
That was the third drink, after the 6th one they were completely out, now as I had said earlier, people say what they keep in their hearts and tell what they see as the truth, some of which I found out are :-
Chintoo says:
"Dude, play the keyboards a lot more, you were good, play em"
"
Dude, I love my girl friend man, truly", awwwwww, bloody wuss
"Babla, in these times kids are getting heart attacks , work out man, fuck no, I will call you out every day and run with you, pact signed, Adeem is the witness"
"Adeem you were the most articulate person in that debate I went with"
"I love you guys, you are always there for me, you guys are my best friends" sans nagu
"I know there will be problems in our friendship but whatever happens we will be together man, always"
"I love your music babla, you guys are great but try to keep steady on one thing and don't shift about"
"I know Adeem is going to make a lot of jokes on us now"
A typical set of statements from one of the brainiest students around and not totally unexpected.
Babla says :
"Adeem, when you said you were not going to drink, I called you a "fucking Chut", but man, Now I respect you and your religion, truly Musalmans will rule the world"
Apocalyptic future ruled by me and my disciples?, it will happen, mark my words
"I am not a man whore!"
"You know adeem, I will fuck one of your in laws, no , don't stop me man, am sorry I know you wont like it, but I will fuck one of your in laws at your marriage, I will, its not a joke"
"Lets all make a vow, that when we get married we will have a bachelors party, each one of us, and by party I mean booze and strippers"
again, another set of typical expected statements from Babla.
After the drinking came the "We need to go home"
This was to be a daunting prospect as I was the "designated take these drunks home sober" guy, while Babla is a fucking drunk with no respect for himself or anyone else, Rohit was warned that he should not come back home clinging to the walls for support, Both of em had to be brought down the stairs as I feared they would fall having no balance.
Leaving the pub, Babla started in all his glory, "I want to have a roll"
"Let me go man, I want to have a roll" He did get his chicken roll, which he says they fucked up, ate half and threw the rest in the dustbin.
Then he started "Chocolate", Ala Spongebob, "CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He got that Cadbury Silk chocolate and I ate more than he did, Rohit did not eat any as he was still following, drink more eat less.
Babla continued by looking for a taxi trying to go to Southern Avenue, now in Calcutta, after 9 PM taxis flatly refuse to go some places, so while he was getting a lot of no's , the drivers were getting the choicest of abuses in any and every language, not even their mother's were spared, while he had no balance or sense, he had that much of an idea to do all this right in front of a cop car.
Rohit on the other hand, spent all this time talking out of his drunk ass to his girl, she had got this other line which was of some professors or something and she was getting quite upset, she even told me to get him home safe and make sure that he calls her tomorrow. Rohit also had the presence of mind to tell me to move babla away from the cop car.
Babla then had started a new vicious attack on the Marwari community , called them mother fuckers, in fact he was going to the roll shop and chocolate shop and shouting obscenities to the said community, he also asked Rohit to ask his girl if they were madar chods or not.
A taxi did agree, and while they got in to get some paan, I did smoke what I told babla I would, I even burnt a hole in my shirt and burnt a part of my jeans and the crappily rolled "fag" fell on my lap, sorry babla but I blamed you for this.
Southern Avenue came and we met Adil, Gujju Jhuthani and Bihari, while they knew Babla as the sad drunk he is, They had never seen Chintoo drunk, to be fair none of us expected chintoo to get drunk ever,while chintoo was feeling crappy and always asking people
"dude do I sound drunk?
I can't go home drunk
shit my dad will kill me"
Gujju and Adil were reassuring him that nothing would happen as chintoo now has a job and is a graduate and all, He IS A MAN!
Babla was in form, abusing gujju, marus, losing his balance, kicking gujju, wanting to eat food and of course "Oh fuck its on fire", the video is posted here.
After half an hour sitting there, chintoo finally puked, he couldn't hold it in much longer and off we went home, I got dropped off first as Babla was now sober enough to go home, while chintoo was falling over in the cab, they reached home safe and sound while plans are being made for the next session, of course this time I will be prepared and of course I wont drink.
Oh yeah the "fag" didn't have much of an effect on me, maybe I didn't take it in properly, but what the hell, I did it, and I probably wont do it again.
as I said , the Video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKXnD-Cea98
When Chintoo came back to calcutta, Babla laid down one day that there would be a booze session one day, with me included in it,Chintoo, babla , Nagu and I accepted, me of course would not touch any more alcohol, that whole vodka thingy was a mistake and God will forgive me for that, well I may burn in hell for all the porno but I sure as hell ain't going down because of booze.
They were to drink and drink a lot, so a plan was made as to which day they would get smashed, that day didn't come as Nagu ran away like a douche to Bangalore for no reason, it was left to the three of us, while I was adamant that I would not drink, babla was all about making me smoke some weed.
"Fucker, If you don't drink YOU HAVE TO SMOKE WEED"
Although I agreed, I knew I wouldn't have any from that man whore, as we call him. On the day we planned to get drunk, Babla as usual did not come on time, to be fair we don't expect him to, he has become a big star ever since India's Got Talent and the fuck all has lost all his sense of time and weight management, looks like a friggin balloon, hell his "squeeze" did not recognize him from some pics which were taken around a year back. Using that line "Babla is pregnant" has become old now, he seems to have a gestation period of like 3 years now.
Getting back to the point, we reached the pub at around 6, but we didn't enter as we thought it was way too early to start, well Rohit thought it was way too early, so off we went to a place I hate a lot and haven't been to in like a year or two, a bookstore, Oxford's, seeing em geeks and nerds there trying to be cool and reading some shit, for once I fell out of place, it was that bad, leaving that place was a relief for me, the last book I read was for a presentation, that too I got the summary online, Chintoo and I did have one moment to remember, we found the rack that contained the erotica, well I found it, pointed it out to chintoo who walked away as usual, especially now since he is committed , no more porno for me amigo ,poor lad.
Next stop was the bar, it was around 7 PM and we expected to get a table, unfortunately all the tables were filled up, hell people were waiting on the others to leave, its friggin 7 and people are out to get drunk, this is my Calcutta.
After waiting a few minutes we finally got the worst table at the pub, but it was still a place to sit, as Chintoo said "We came here to get sloshed, not worry about the seats you chut".
Chintoo had come with a game plan, eat less, drink more, and he started with a Budweiser beer, while I started with a pepsi and a plate of chips, Babla had instructed chintoo to drink slowly and to take his time, I also ordered the Chicken Ala Kiev, for the people not in the know, that is chicken, stuffed with bread, butter and cheese , then deep fried, can't go wrong there, no fucking way. While the kiev took almost 40 minutes to arrive, we dug in on the chips , when the kiev did come and we started hoggin on that, Babla entered looking fat overgrown and pregnant, we are used to seeing him now, wearing an XXXXL shirt to cover his bulge.
While Rohit was all about how the beer was light and gave him a little buzz, the real drunk from our group came up and started with whiskey, 30 mls to start with,here the fun begins, while the first shot was not anything worth talking about barring the fact that Babla was on a solo mission to finish all of the "chanachur " in the pub, at one point of time he was told that the chanachur was finished.
The next set of drinks were 60 ML whiskey shots or whatever they can be called, diluted with water or pepsi, after the 3rd drink things started to get interesting. Chintoo finally drunk called his girl up and spend nearly 20 minutes saying "I love you" and then the next 10 minutes in a drunk state saying "I am sorry, I am sorry".
Babla on the other hand was more worried about making things "Fly" in a weird looney tone. "Adeem, FLYYYYYYYYY, no say it right, FFFFFEEEEEELLLLLLLAAAAAAAIIIIII"
That was the third drink, after the 6th one they were completely out, now as I had said earlier, people say what they keep in their hearts and tell what they see as the truth, some of which I found out are :-
Chintoo says:
"Dude, play the keyboards a lot more, you were good, play em"
"
Dude, I love my girl friend man, truly", awwwwww, bloody wuss
"Babla, in these times kids are getting heart attacks , work out man, fuck no, I will call you out every day and run with you, pact signed, Adeem is the witness"
"Adeem you were the most articulate person in that debate I went with"
"I love you guys, you are always there for me, you guys are my best friends" sans nagu
"I know there will be problems in our friendship but whatever happens we will be together man, always"
"I love your music babla, you guys are great but try to keep steady on one thing and don't shift about"
"I know Adeem is going to make a lot of jokes on us now"
A typical set of statements from one of the brainiest students around and not totally unexpected.
Babla says :
"Adeem, when you said you were not going to drink, I called you a "fucking Chut", but man, Now I respect you and your religion, truly Musalmans will rule the world"
Apocalyptic future ruled by me and my disciples?, it will happen, mark my words
"I am not a man whore!"
"You know adeem, I will fuck one of your in laws, no , don't stop me man, am sorry I know you wont like it, but I will fuck one of your in laws at your marriage, I will, its not a joke"
"Lets all make a vow, that when we get married we will have a bachelors party, each one of us, and by party I mean booze and strippers"
again, another set of typical expected statements from Babla.
After the drinking came the "We need to go home"
This was to be a daunting prospect as I was the "designated take these drunks home sober" guy, while Babla is a fucking drunk with no respect for himself or anyone else, Rohit was warned that he should not come back home clinging to the walls for support, Both of em had to be brought down the stairs as I feared they would fall having no balance.
Leaving the pub, Babla started in all his glory, "I want to have a roll"
"Let me go man, I want to have a roll" He did get his chicken roll, which he says they fucked up, ate half and threw the rest in the dustbin.
Then he started "Chocolate", Ala Spongebob, "CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He got that Cadbury Silk chocolate and I ate more than he did, Rohit did not eat any as he was still following, drink more eat less.
Babla continued by looking for a taxi trying to go to Southern Avenue, now in Calcutta, after 9 PM taxis flatly refuse to go some places, so while he was getting a lot of no's , the drivers were getting the choicest of abuses in any and every language, not even their mother's were spared, while he had no balance or sense, he had that much of an idea to do all this right in front of a cop car.
Rohit on the other hand, spent all this time talking out of his drunk ass to his girl, she had got this other line which was of some professors or something and she was getting quite upset, she even told me to get him home safe and make sure that he calls her tomorrow. Rohit also had the presence of mind to tell me to move babla away from the cop car.
Babla then had started a new vicious attack on the Marwari community , called them mother fuckers, in fact he was going to the roll shop and chocolate shop and shouting obscenities to the said community, he also asked Rohit to ask his girl if they were madar chods or not.
A taxi did agree, and while they got in to get some paan, I did smoke what I told babla I would, I even burnt a hole in my shirt and burnt a part of my jeans and the crappily rolled "fag" fell on my lap, sorry babla but I blamed you for this.
Southern Avenue came and we met Adil, Gujju Jhuthani and Bihari, while they knew Babla as the sad drunk he is, They had never seen Chintoo drunk, to be fair none of us expected chintoo to get drunk ever,while chintoo was feeling crappy and always asking people
"dude do I sound drunk?
I can't go home drunk
shit my dad will kill me"
Gujju and Adil were reassuring him that nothing would happen as chintoo now has a job and is a graduate and all, He IS A MAN!
Babla was in form, abusing gujju, marus, losing his balance, kicking gujju, wanting to eat food and of course "Oh fuck its on fire", the video is posted here.
After half an hour sitting there, chintoo finally puked, he couldn't hold it in much longer and off we went home, I got dropped off first as Babla was now sober enough to go home, while chintoo was falling over in the cab, they reached home safe and sound while plans are being made for the next session, of course this time I will be prepared and of course I wont drink.
Oh yeah the "fag" didn't have much of an effect on me, maybe I didn't take it in properly, but what the hell, I did it, and I probably wont do it again.
as I said , the Video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKXnD-Cea98
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
The nearly perfect chick
While most of you will think this blog is about some girl who I fell for recently or in the past, I can happily say, that is not the case, the blog is about a case that took place while we were in class 12 at STB, again the best school in the world, at least in terms of crazy retarded stories to tell.
It starts off with us finding the glory of social networking, Orkut was bloody popular in India back then and well, it was a taboo if we were not on the site, so I, along with a ton of my pals all opened accounts. Now we must also confess that the reason we actually made the accounts was to do maagibaazi, as Bonbon's 6th law states "
It starts off with us finding the glory of social networking, Orkut was bloody popular in India back then and well, it was a taboo if we were not on the site, so I, along with a ton of my pals all opened accounts. Now we must also confess that the reason we actually made the accounts was to do maagibaazi, as Bonbon's 6th law states "
6th Law:Every boy and i mean every boy goes through a maagibaazi phase,no matter how many times they deny it,
the effect of this phase leads to either the said boy becoming a real maaga and a maagibaaz OR he becomes anti maagibaazi."
So we were also part of this, not defying the law, all of us were in a mad search to add women randomly, yours truly was also a part of the madness. While we had a chuckle and right old go at one another for being the sick perverts that we are, one of the brighter nerdier minds of our school got an idea.
Chintoo Lee said "Dude, we should mess around with babla"
Me: How?
Chintoo Lee :How about making a fake profile of a chick and adding babla and you know freaking him out.
Thus the idea was set and , I made the profile, since I had no idea about chick schools or about calcutta at all, I kept as many details as i could vague, while I did add my real profile and babla's and Akshay Hiramanek Kapoor's as well, just in hope that they don't think its a fake one.
The name chosen was "Antara Haldar", not because it was a super duper hot name, just cause its the first thing that came to my mind, plus those days were when we could actually log into 2 accounts simultaneously on orkut and hence I would be chatting with babla and the freak would be chatting in a parallel world with Antara Haldar.
Now it just wasn't enough for us to have a little fun, when we do things we do it BIG, so while chintoo filled me in with random places and schools the chick could study in, I also decided to add a little flavor into the prank by making Antara, THE PERFECT CHICK for Babla.
While the babla was in hope of finding a chick, he got the perfect chick for him instead, the chick loved 80's rock, the same as he did, she wore only black, like he did, watched the same shows like he did even wanted to be goth and was about to get a "piercing" in a certain region which got him mad and crazy for "her" , all this was communicated over orkut. This did not go down without an entrance a shot at love from Kaps, Kapoor, who in his own right was on a streak on hitting the same piece of fine meat that Babla was, in fact during recess they even had a good old argument about who should get Antara, with babla finally winning by using a ton of abuses on Kaps.
A meeting was due for Babla with the chick, he had been talking about her on a regular basis in school, even when we would tell him the profile may not be real, he would abuse us and tell us that we were just jealous, while we contemplated on stopping the prank at a stage, his constant rambling got us motivated to continue the joke.
The prank was supposed to last for like a week or two, but now it went on for around 3 months, by now every student in class 12 knew about the prank but no one was spilling the beans out and trying not to smirk when babla was talking all about her being the chick for him was hard.
We even gave babla a fake number to call, when I was at his place, I picked up The phonebook and recorded the number for Antara Construction, so when and If he did call and say "antara" at least someone would respond and say "yes", but that part never came.
Babla , I , Chintoo and a few others were part of the school band and the biggest school band event "Vibes" was to take place, so this was the place where the date was set, destiny would be babla's as he was to finally meet his love. The bloke was all charged up as I had told him, "After your performance , I would meet you under the stairs", the fuck tard was so sure of pussy that he was ready for a bang as well, as he told us while we were travelling in a taxi in bong.
"Today I will fuck man for sure"
we replied "Chutia, condom laya??"
he said ,"Fuck the condom , I will use my hanky then"
The competition started and we were the 2nd last band, while we normally would get nervous before going on stage, babla was more nervous after the performance, we came second by the way out of around 12 bands or something, so while I went hiding under the stairs, chintoo and a few others went to babla and told him, dude this chick called for you and is under the stairs.
Babla comes running, as he comes from the light into the darkness of the shadow, he sees not a hot chick, but an obnoxious fat bloke laughing hard, the smile from babla's face is wiped off and he runs off, followed by around 10 other STB students and mates all laughing at his face, the laughter continued on our long ride back home and continued for a few months in calcutta, the outcome of this was babla became an even closer pal of mine.
Credit must be given to him, he did take it as a good sport and well credit must also be given to Chintoo lee massively for coming up with the plan and also to the few hundred STB guys from class 12 who kept such a kick ass secret for almost 3 months.
The perfect chick, almost, well not even close, it was freaking far away, and if you guys want proof of all this, you need to check out the last pages of my scrap book, some of those freaky messages from babla and kaps are still there.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Babla Man
Babla man is the ideal superhero everyone needs,he is based on a pal of mine Babla,oh well he aint no superhero or anything,but the most kickass times are with this freak of nature called Babla.
Interesting Fact:His name Babla [Soumyadeep Bhattachraya] is actually his father's name as well,the students at STB would call each other by their father's name,if they ever found it out that is.Fortunately for us we did find out his dad's name and thus a legacy was created,a legend was born and all the other cliches we use,its still not enough to describe the bloke.
The first time i met him was in class 10 when Manko man[his sidekick of sorts] brought him over to my place for a little gaming session,those were the days ,one on one matches on WWE Smackdown :Here comes the pain,ass whopping everyone ,but back to the topic,the guy seemed normal like i was normal in class 10,bit by bit little by little the different layers and phases of the Babla would be seen.
Phase 1:His first phase was the comedian/abuser phase,which still continues,it is legendary stuff in our school,i have to admit this guy is the funniest person i know,i say,half the story is how it is presented and all his stories kick ass even the crappy ones,king of comebacks,the prince of abusing,[am just carrying on this blokes legacy],he wrote so many good plays during this phase,which seem to
be lost now in his dark desolate house,or maybe in his cleavage ,i dont know,some of the titles i remember were "Somraj and the Security":an amazing love story,:Sumit and Trina:a porno story,and it goes on and on and on.
Everyday before class started and during recess all the boys from class 10A and 10B would come to one of the classes and hear the best
recital of the play,he spent so many hours writing the screenplay and dialogues ,it was magical, those days they are irreplaceable.
Phase 2:This phase wasnt much of a long one but it was still a phase,where he had 4[fore] fathers,namely his Physics teacher who abandoned him a few years later ,Adil[guitar god] the lead guitarist in the band for which he plays,Dave Mustaine it was i think the 3rd one and the 4th one was his biological father.We would pull his leg everyday about his fathers and which one was his real one and all.Classic shit.
Phase 3:The longest phase which has been going strong for a good 4-5 years now,the music phase,where he picked up the guitar and played every single fucking day without worrying about damaging his digits or even worrying about his studies,although as every bengali knows,when exams come we all go into bengali mode[no friends,no tv,no nothing,just books],he played every day to impress his father[Adil] and he was finally accepted into the music group and all.He would have gone nuts had that not happened.This phase also includes mini phases of liking and disliking bands,one day he would abuse a particular band and a few months later they had become the best in the world ,but thats babla for you,confused soul to the max.
This phase also included another mini phase,the dark lyrics phase,when Babla wrote a ton of lyrics to be used in songs all about death and the Devil ,you get the Idea,this was from where "Black Saddath" was formed,coz i didnt know Black Sabbath and when they were talking about it i thought it was "Black Saddath".
Of course phases were just a bit of madness of the bloke,there have been a ton of other retard incidents,especially during football games,one was when he was kicked square in the nuts by Ritu Daman Singh,the bloke had kicked the football with all his might square at Babla's nuts from like a distance of 2 metres at the most ,Babla was rolling about in pain,holding his nose[apparently that helps to
reduce the pain or something],he was shouting...
"I cant breathe ,i cant breathe",ever the smart alec i am i reply "Abey dont hold your nose,then you can breathe" ,man he was pissed at me ,but not as pissed as the whole Antara Haldar thingy,where i created a fake profile on orkut and this bastard fell hook, line and sinker thinking i was some metal chick ,the look on his face after it the truth was revealed to him after 3 months of toying around was hilarious.
Then there were dives when we played footie,he would dive like a ballerina who is the daughter of Arjen Robben and Cristiano ronaldo,performing triple klutzes and all before his huge frame would fall down slowly to make sure he wasnt hurt,and then he would do the chris benoit pain reaction whenever Benoit would miss the flying headbutt.
The "Gham" and "Ghem" was also every present,the "gham" was the ton of sweat he would pour out everyday,the "ghem" was his big fat ego coming out,his ego would be such a huge failing that we even named a shot after it,"The Ghem" Shot ,which basically was a crazy shot with all force but no direction,infact he was often told "No ghem Shots allowed" ,whenever we played in a small area.The Bastard still would do ghem shots and we would have to bring the ball back.
Another such incident was the "fubu" incident where he ripped Kumarjit not one but 3-4 new assholes when we went to play[music] at the blokes para,the fucking dog kumarjit was acting smart and treated us like shit at the place,well Babla didnt let him off the hook and was abusing the shit out of him in his own backyard on a mic,at 3 in the afternoon ,even when the mike was cut off babla followed him
around and abused him and his locality for another half an hour.
Then there was this huge 500 word scrap sent to Sumitano Dickhead about his sister and other relatives just to abuse the shit out of him,to be honest it was very well constructed and his bio background was the catalyst for the amazing scrap,sumit did find out who it was but man that was classic.
Although school has ended and college has started Babla is the one bloke who has kept the friendship intact,he makes sure,infact we make sure that amongst the 3 of us left in cal from the "group" [Babla,Nagu,chintoo and i] we make sure [babla ,nagu and i] that we meet at least once in 2 weeks,to share the tales of the fucktards in our colleges,oh what we STB students wouldnt do for another STB
college that taught all the courses we want :X
Infact we have made sure our "dosti" will stay strong,as we have decided what to call each other's children ,i think Nagu has the "Suorer Bachcha" thing reserved for his kids and Babla has the "khankeer chele" reserved as well.
Humlog Jeet ke Aayenge!
PS:He is the reason why the whole "Betray" system was made and rules were created to define who is a "Betray" or not,I know its grammatically wrong but its way more funny this way.
Interesting Fact:His name Babla [Soumyadeep Bhattachraya] is actually his father's name as well,the students at STB would call each other by their father's name,if they ever found it out that is.Fortunately for us we did find out his dad's name and thus a legacy was created,a legend was born and all the other cliches we use,its still not enough to describe the bloke.
The first time i met him was in class 10 when Manko man[his sidekick of sorts] brought him over to my place for a little gaming session,those were the days ,one on one matches on WWE Smackdown :Here comes the pain,ass whopping everyone ,but back to the topic,the guy seemed normal like i was normal in class 10,bit by bit little by little the different layers and phases of the Babla would be seen.
Phase 1:His first phase was the comedian/abuser phase,which still continues,it is legendary stuff in our school,i have to admit this guy is the funniest person i know,i say,half the story is how it is presented and all his stories kick ass even the crappy ones,king of comebacks,the prince of abusing,[am just carrying on this blokes legacy],he wrote so many good plays during this phase,which seem to
be lost now in his dark desolate house,or maybe in his cleavage ,i dont know,some of the titles i remember were "Somraj and the Security":an amazing love story,:Sumit and Trina:a porno story,and it goes on and on and on.
Everyday before class started and during recess all the boys from class 10A and 10B would come to one of the classes and hear the best
recital of the play,he spent so many hours writing the screenplay and dialogues ,it was magical, those days they are irreplaceable.
Phase 2:This phase wasnt much of a long one but it was still a phase,where he had 4[fore] fathers,namely his Physics teacher who abandoned him a few years later ,Adil[guitar god] the lead guitarist in the band for which he plays,Dave Mustaine it was i think the 3rd one and the 4th one was his biological father.We would pull his leg everyday about his fathers and which one was his real one and all.Classic shit.
Phase 3:The longest phase which has been going strong for a good 4-5 years now,the music phase,where he picked up the guitar and played every single fucking day without worrying about damaging his digits or even worrying about his studies,although as every bengali knows,when exams come we all go into bengali mode[no friends,no tv,no nothing,just books],he played every day to impress his father[Adil] and he was finally accepted into the music group and all.He would have gone nuts had that not happened.This phase also includes mini phases of liking and disliking bands,one day he would abuse a particular band and a few months later they had become the best in the world ,but thats babla for you,confused soul to the max.
This phase also included another mini phase,the dark lyrics phase,when Babla wrote a ton of lyrics to be used in songs all about death and the Devil ,you get the Idea,this was from where "Black Saddath" was formed,coz i didnt know Black Sabbath and when they were talking about it i thought it was "Black Saddath".
Of course phases were just a bit of madness of the bloke,there have been a ton of other retard incidents,especially during football games,one was when he was kicked square in the nuts by Ritu Daman Singh,the bloke had kicked the football with all his might square at Babla's nuts from like a distance of 2 metres at the most ,Babla was rolling about in pain,holding his nose[apparently that helps to
reduce the pain or something],he was shouting...
"I cant breathe ,i cant breathe",ever the smart alec i am i reply "Abey dont hold your nose,then you can breathe" ,man he was pissed at me ,but not as pissed as the whole Antara Haldar thingy,where i created a fake profile on orkut and this bastard fell hook, line and sinker thinking i was some metal chick ,the look on his face after it the truth was revealed to him after 3 months of toying around was hilarious.
Then there were dives when we played footie,he would dive like a ballerina who is the daughter of Arjen Robben and Cristiano ronaldo,performing triple klutzes and all before his huge frame would fall down slowly to make sure he wasnt hurt,and then he would do the chris benoit pain reaction whenever Benoit would miss the flying headbutt.
The "Gham" and "Ghem" was also every present,the "gham" was the ton of sweat he would pour out everyday,the "ghem" was his big fat ego coming out,his ego would be such a huge failing that we even named a shot after it,"The Ghem" Shot ,which basically was a crazy shot with all force but no direction,infact he was often told "No ghem Shots allowed" ,whenever we played in a small area.The Bastard still would do ghem shots and we would have to bring the ball back.
Another such incident was the "fubu" incident where he ripped Kumarjit not one but 3-4 new assholes when we went to play[music] at the blokes para,the fucking dog kumarjit was acting smart and treated us like shit at the place,well Babla didnt let him off the hook and was abusing the shit out of him in his own backyard on a mic,at 3 in the afternoon ,even when the mike was cut off babla followed him
around and abused him and his locality for another half an hour.
Then there was this huge 500 word scrap sent to Sumitano Dickhead about his sister and other relatives just to abuse the shit out of him,to be honest it was very well constructed and his bio background was the catalyst for the amazing scrap,sumit did find out who it was but man that was classic.
Although school has ended and college has started Babla is the one bloke who has kept the friendship intact,he makes sure,infact we make sure that amongst the 3 of us left in cal from the "group" [Babla,Nagu,chintoo and i] we make sure [babla ,nagu and i] that we meet at least once in 2 weeks,to share the tales of the fucktards in our colleges,oh what we STB students wouldnt do for another STB
college that taught all the courses we want :X
Infact we have made sure our "dosti" will stay strong,as we have decided what to call each other's children ,i think Nagu has the "Suorer Bachcha" thing reserved for his kids and Babla has the "khankeer chele" reserved as well.
Humlog Jeet ke Aayenge!
PS:He is the reason why the whole "Betray" system was made and rules were created to define who is a "Betray" or not,I know its grammatically wrong but its way more funny this way.
Friday, February 5, 2010
A Classy Birthday to you!
Now one of me best pals had his birthday recently,twas Babla's special night,another birthday to somewhat celebrate and enjoy,so after wishing the bloke in the now oh so fashionable 12 midnight time and all i was expecting a treat or something at least,but knowing the bugger i didnt think i would get the call for a treat anytime soon after all he is part of a kickass pro band "Weaponshop"[listen to these guys they are amazing] ,he is in a some what steady relationship and is an all around jackass.Since he was in a relationship i had bet my bottom dollar that he would spend his special night with someone special *wink wink*.However something extra ordinary was to happen.
Now for most of me pals in me special group a birthday is a day to spent time with your pals,mostly consisting of decent food,nothing too pricey nothing too cheap,after all the enjoyment is in the company rather than the place.Thats what we always do,all the time,in fact most of me pals birthdays are celebrated at our houses,there being a couple of exceptions of course,most of us are pennyless bastards.
So i get a call from babla on his birthday at around 6 PM,so i knew either he was to come to me place or was gonna treat us for his birthday[one thing i dont understand is why the person whose birthday is being celebrated must treat the other blokes,it should be the other way around] anyways ,babla calls and asks me "did nagu call you up ?,he didnt? fine meet me at the Taj at 8 PM,bring nagu along"
Now The Taj is this really classy pricey 5 star hotel in Calcutta,like the Taj in Bombay and the like,when he said meet me at the taj there was a little confusion,i mean surely babla wont treat us at the taj,i mean its next to impossible for him to treat us there,i called nagu up and he was surprised about the Taj invitation as well,so we meet up at around 7:45,the Taj is like a 10 minute walk from my place,So while we walk we are discussing where we would eat...
Me:Abey can you believe it,saala humlog ko Taj mein khilayega babla
Nagu:Eeeeeehhhh Adeeeeem Kariiiiim you really think he would treat us there?,its babla we are talking about
Me:Fuck man yeah,i bet he is there talking about some gig he will play,probably from there we will head off somewhere
Nagu:yes of course...
We end up at the Taj bang on time coz of the punctual freaks we are and that w dont have much work to do at all,we call babla up and he says its gonna take him 15 minutes ,so we are waiting by the main gate and i can see the nervousness of the guards,bloody they were scared shit of us both standing next to the gate and all,we wait still and then get pissed coz as usual babla is ever so late ,so we call him up and he tells us heis 5 minutes away and that we should go inside and ask for a reservation in the name of "Mr Upadhyay",i am thinkin who the fuck is it?
Nagu comes up ,"thats Swagat",Rich man Swagat,now we add it up,Swagat is giving the treat,so we go into the Taj security check and all we enter and we were told by babla to go to the "Hub",when we did enter the waiter asked us about a table and we replied that we had a reservation in the name of mr Upadhyay.
So we see a table for 12 and the both of us sit at one end of the table opposite to each other,now the wait begins coz as usual babla must be late and very fucking late he must always be,so 15 minutes are gone and the waiters are now getting apprehensive and so are we,
"what the fuck is taking babla so fucking long?",a waiter comes up to us and says
"till the other people come ,here is some bread"
and he gives us some bread with some dip,now me and nagu dont know what to do,should we eat the bread now or wait or dont eat it at all?
we sit for like 10 minutes before another of babla's pals comes,some guy from me own college Techno india a first year BBA student,who spoke in the American accent and all,he starts eating the bread and then we start eating it as well out of sheer embarrassment.
Then at around 9 came Swagat and Babla ,Swagat also had one of his pals The Bugguria,nonetheless we had our usual tirade of cheap jokes,abuses,acting crummy and cruddy while we waited for the others we had a few side dishes which were fish fingers ,chicken tikkas ,and a bowl of soup [tomato] for The bugguria.The next to come was Babla's girl,Mritika[i have no freaking idea why the hell there is a M in front of a normal name,but thats bengalism i guess] and so babla shifts from sitting next to me and nagu and now sits with his girl at the other end of the table,by the time its 9:30 Adil,gujju ,Hasan bhaiya[adils brother] and Sourish come and i guess that was the end of the guest list.If i missed someone fuck off coz you didnt make an impression on me.
So we ordered some pizzas pasta,biryani[which had to have a couple of boiled eggs in it coz it was the bday boys wish i guess],rogen ghost ,a chicken dish and some roti,as usual gujju was the butt of all the jokes,with things being thrown at him,his special desert being eaten by everyone but as usual if you felt a little sorry for the bloke[gujju] for being picked on he does do some rather idiotic things,like this time all off a sudden he starts searching frantically for his cell phone and he cant find it,then all of a sudden he remembers that he left it with the security people,you see when we were entering the Taj we had to let our belongings through a metal detector and then we could take it back after it had been checked but gujju didnt take it back and he was relieved that it was still with em and he started eating,he was then fucking told to go and get it from em coz it would get stolen,the light bulb finaly came on for the gujju.He did get his cell in the end.Lucky punk.
The dinner ended at around 11:30 with us staggering outside like a bunch of drunks and our eternal wait for a cab for the others wasnt boring or nothing,babla nagu and i lived close by and when you have the company of good friends time does fly,the others did get a cab later one at around midnight,while babla walked his lady to the cab,she was walking along the edge of the road like some drunk punk.A pretty kickass birthday nevertheless the bill of course was footed by Swagat.
Oh yeah Note:The best bit of the treat was calling Chintoo up and pissing him off about where we were and what we were eating and all,another NOTE the pasta that was priced at 500 bucks a plate tasted like half boiled maggi i kid you not,nagu and Hasan Bhai can vouch for this.
Now for most of me pals in me special group a birthday is a day to spent time with your pals,mostly consisting of decent food,nothing too pricey nothing too cheap,after all the enjoyment is in the company rather than the place.Thats what we always do,all the time,in fact most of me pals birthdays are celebrated at our houses,there being a couple of exceptions of course,most of us are pennyless bastards.
So i get a call from babla on his birthday at around 6 PM,so i knew either he was to come to me place or was gonna treat us for his birthday[one thing i dont understand is why the person whose birthday is being celebrated must treat the other blokes,it should be the other way around] anyways ,babla calls and asks me "did nagu call you up ?,he didnt? fine meet me at the Taj at 8 PM,bring nagu along"
Now The Taj is this really classy pricey 5 star hotel in Calcutta,like the Taj in Bombay and the like,when he said meet me at the taj there was a little confusion,i mean surely babla wont treat us at the taj,i mean its next to impossible for him to treat us there,i called nagu up and he was surprised about the Taj invitation as well,so we meet up at around 7:45,the Taj is like a 10 minute walk from my place,So while we walk we are discussing where we would eat...
Me:Abey can you believe it,saala humlog ko Taj mein khilayega babla
Nagu:Eeeeeehhhh Adeeeeem Kariiiiim you really think he would treat us there?,its babla we are talking about
Me:Fuck man yeah,i bet he is there talking about some gig he will play,probably from there we will head off somewhere
Nagu:yes of course...
We end up at the Taj bang on time coz of the punctual freaks we are and that w dont have much work to do at all,we call babla up and he says its gonna take him 15 minutes ,so we are waiting by the main gate and i can see the nervousness of the guards,bloody they were scared shit of us both standing next to the gate and all,we wait still and then get pissed coz as usual babla is ever so late ,so we call him up and he tells us heis 5 minutes away and that we should go inside and ask for a reservation in the name of "Mr Upadhyay",i am thinkin who the fuck is it?
Nagu comes up ,"thats Swagat",Rich man Swagat,now we add it up,Swagat is giving the treat,so we go into the Taj security check and all we enter and we were told by babla to go to the "Hub",when we did enter the waiter asked us about a table and we replied that we had a reservation in the name of mr Upadhyay.
So we see a table for 12 and the both of us sit at one end of the table opposite to each other,now the wait begins coz as usual babla must be late and very fucking late he must always be,so 15 minutes are gone and the waiters are now getting apprehensive and so are we,
"what the fuck is taking babla so fucking long?",a waiter comes up to us and says
"till the other people come ,here is some bread"
and he gives us some bread with some dip,now me and nagu dont know what to do,should we eat the bread now or wait or dont eat it at all?
we sit for like 10 minutes before another of babla's pals comes,some guy from me own college Techno india a first year BBA student,who spoke in the American accent and all,he starts eating the bread and then we start eating it as well out of sheer embarrassment.
Then at around 9 came Swagat and Babla ,Swagat also had one of his pals The Bugguria,nonetheless we had our usual tirade of cheap jokes,abuses,acting crummy and cruddy while we waited for the others we had a few side dishes which were fish fingers ,chicken tikkas ,and a bowl of soup [tomato] for The bugguria.The next to come was Babla's girl,Mritika[i have no freaking idea why the hell there is a M in front of a normal name,but thats bengalism i guess] and so babla shifts from sitting next to me and nagu and now sits with his girl at the other end of the table,by the time its 9:30 Adil,gujju ,Hasan bhaiya[adils brother] and Sourish come and i guess that was the end of the guest list.If i missed someone fuck off coz you didnt make an impression on me.
So we ordered some pizzas pasta,biryani[which had to have a couple of boiled eggs in it coz it was the bday boys wish i guess],rogen ghost ,a chicken dish and some roti,as usual gujju was the butt of all the jokes,with things being thrown at him,his special desert being eaten by everyone but as usual if you felt a little sorry for the bloke[gujju] for being picked on he does do some rather idiotic things,like this time all off a sudden he starts searching frantically for his cell phone and he cant find it,then all of a sudden he remembers that he left it with the security people,you see when we were entering the Taj we had to let our belongings through a metal detector and then we could take it back after it had been checked but gujju didnt take it back and he was relieved that it was still with em and he started eating,he was then fucking told to go and get it from em coz it would get stolen,the light bulb finaly came on for the gujju.He did get his cell in the end.Lucky punk.
The dinner ended at around 11:30 with us staggering outside like a bunch of drunks and our eternal wait for a cab for the others wasnt boring or nothing,babla nagu and i lived close by and when you have the company of good friends time does fly,the others did get a cab later one at around midnight,while babla walked his lady to the cab,she was walking along the edge of the road like some drunk punk.A pretty kickass birthday nevertheless the bill of course was footed by Swagat.
Oh yeah Note:The best bit of the treat was calling Chintoo up and pissing him off about where we were and what we were eating and all,another NOTE the pasta that was priced at 500 bucks a plate tasted like half boiled maggi i kid you not,nagu and Hasan Bhai can vouch for this.
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