I was very fortunate back in 1999, when my parents decided to go on a trip to Europe, London and Paris were the destinations, while I loved Disneyland Paris, my father was adamant that while we were there we had to go and see one of the greatest art museums every, The Lourve.
All I remember form the place is that beautiful glass ceiling , the Monalisa and getting to see the female form, aka boobies on the Venus Di Milo,I was freaking 10 years old, cut me some slack, but back to the point, art is something that everyone can relate to but they never have the same opinion about it, everything means something totally different to another person.
My first Art class was in Dubai, quite a simple task it was too, painting the Indian flag in all its glory, this was probably in class 1, making a simple flag, drawing the chakra and filling it with color, simple enough, my flag was stiff[ no sexual puns here] some were waving around [wavin flags] and all.
Over time as we grew we found out that some were good at drawing art, there was this guy in my class Nahim, made some amazing comics in his time, while there were other freaks in my class Roshan [ who had come from Hong Kong and had told our class 5 teacher not to "touch" him aka hitting the bugger in class] who was a brilliant artist and would be allowed to do anything in class and would always get an A. Hell the guy was once messing about drawing SRGay form Mohabbatein and the art sir gave him an A++, pissed me off that did, I always believed in conspiracies then as well and told a pal of mine, "He only got the A++ coz SRgay's glasses were the same as Sir's"
Now the Sir we had in Dubai was a class act, Dilip Kumar was his name, I am not kidding, and yes stuff like this does happen to me, he had this retard dress sense often coming in sharp colors, like reds and yellows with retarded ties and well a retarded hairstyle as well, plus em tinted glasses, the first time I had seen something like that.
Comical may that be, he had one massively annoying habit, he would say "ok" a crazy number of times , his vocab was fine, it was just that a sentence of say 10 words had like 5 "ok"s in it. In fact once in class me and a pal Sumit, decided to count the number of "ok"s he would say, while we were counting in that 30 minute period, Sumit got caught and was rebuked by Sir, I was lucky to get away, official count give or take 10 was 300 Ok's in 30 minutes, congratulations a new world record.
In class 5 or 6 , he wanted to teach us "abstract art", which meant no more smooth lines but rather more graphic designs of simple objects, we were asked to draw and apple and Sumit managed to make an apple look like an ass.
Moving forward a few years and ending up in Calcutta, I was not blessed with an art class but rather an SUPW class, I still have no idea what it means. The class was basically an arts and crafts class mixed with a bit of sports, yes for 4 classes we had to write down the rules and regulations of cricket, basketball and football. It was a waste of time in a school where most of the students did not give a fuck to studying, rather they would have been interested in beating their class mate during that period.
While some days we had this hard ass Sports Sir to deal with , during the latter years we had to deal with Pinky, no not a lady but a guy teacher who had the balls the size of soy beans, the unruly bastards in class would do what they want, abuse him, make fun of him and by abuse I mean abuse the parents or a proper STB gaali. This same bugger was also chosen as the umpire in games which Chintoo lee played, the inter house cricket tournament where the bugger would change his decision based on which gunda was threatening him. Also his day job was that of being a traffic job, I mean how the fuck could he ever hold a post of authority?
He could not deal with students, let alone the pissed off drivers of Calcutta.
All I learned in this class ws how to make some stupid stick puppet and sock puppet, while the douche stole all the things we had made for our ICSE exams, yes we had to submit a "project" for the ICSE exams and then later we found out, nearly 6 months later that our "things" were being sold in the school fete.
While I never became an art lover or understood art, be it modern or classical, the only 2 things which seem relevant to me in art are
1:The Monalisa , seems everyone wanks about it, even if it could be Leonardo in drag
2:Nudity, if your art does not make sense or stand out, just paint or sculpt some nudity, always works and people call me a perv.
Showing posts with label Teachers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Teachers. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Sunday, April 3, 2011
What's my age again?
Progressing from school to college is never an easy task, nothing is supposed to be similar in both the environments, ie school and college.You leave all your friends and a comfort zone that you had built over the years to face something new and develop yourself, like a metamorphosis you come in as a teen and leave as an adult, learning new things about yourself ,all that is crap to be honest.
College is not the thing we see on tv, where you bunk as you like and that everyone in college is pretty and the professors are dumb and the lady professors are hot,well some are but that's not the point,the point i am trying to make is that everything more or less remains the same,its just that you pay much more as fees than you would in school.
One thing that somehow hasn't changed from my experiences in school and college is that all the teachers,professors and faculty members constantly rebuke the students for not acting their age,we are supposed to somehow act decent and disciplined and all that just because we have become 21 or something.
Our Eco sir in fact has constantly told us that "He was asked to join the institute and that it was his perception that he would be teaching students who are all post graduates and behave like post graduate students would,like probably in North America or any other part of the world"
then he observes our behavior for a few days and recently told us that he is not capable of handling us because he has not been trained to handle "kindergarten" students.
this sort of comment has been passed wherever i have been,as in education institutes,school,college,tutorials and now even during a PG course, but people don't learn,the teachers should know by now that I wont change,i will stay the freak that i am and i should also acknowledge the fact that growing up has no scope for me,the only thing that keeps me sane is the abuses,comments,jokes,sexual references, irritating people etc, while a fear does exist as to what kind of employee i would be in a few weeks time for some company , i do still believe i will enjoy myself by being the crazy lunatic that i am,and i am fooking proud of it,at least i am better than those maagas.
With all these people telling me to grow up and me being on a charge wanting not to grow up,while i enter the lift of my building a couple of days back an 8 year old kid enters the lift , looks at me and tells me
"Can you tell me what the time is ,please UNCLE"
And that is when a part of my world shatters,now i know,even if i do behave like i do,which in some circles would and probably should land me in jail or in a psych ward,i know that I have grown,not mentally just physically
College is not the thing we see on tv, where you bunk as you like and that everyone in college is pretty and the professors are dumb and the lady professors are hot,well some are but that's not the point,the point i am trying to make is that everything more or less remains the same,its just that you pay much more as fees than you would in school.
One thing that somehow hasn't changed from my experiences in school and college is that all the teachers,professors and faculty members constantly rebuke the students for not acting their age,we are supposed to somehow act decent and disciplined and all that just because we have become 21 or something.
Our Eco sir in fact has constantly told us that "He was asked to join the institute and that it was his perception that he would be teaching students who are all post graduates and behave like post graduate students would,like probably in North America or any other part of the world"
then he observes our behavior for a few days and recently told us that he is not capable of handling us because he has not been trained to handle "kindergarten" students.
this sort of comment has been passed wherever i have been,as in education institutes,school,college,tutorials and now even during a PG course, but people don't learn,the teachers should know by now that I wont change,i will stay the freak that i am and i should also acknowledge the fact that growing up has no scope for me,the only thing that keeps me sane is the abuses,comments,jokes,sexual references, irritating people etc, while a fear does exist as to what kind of employee i would be in a few weeks time for some company , i do still believe i will enjoy myself by being the crazy lunatic that i am,and i am fooking proud of it,at least i am better than those maagas.
With all these people telling me to grow up and me being on a charge wanting not to grow up,while i enter the lift of my building a couple of days back an 8 year old kid enters the lift , looks at me and tells me
"Can you tell me what the time is ,please UNCLE"
And that is when a part of my world shatters,now i know,even if i do behave like i do,which in some circles would and probably should land me in jail or in a psych ward,i know that I have grown,not mentally just physically
Friday, February 25, 2011
Holy Unlawfullness
Firstly i would like to thank a pal of mine, known as Blue Phantom aka Santosh , its coz of him that i decided to blog rather than wank or play fifa for around 20 mins.
Now back to the good stuff, ever since i joined my MBA college i have been bombarded by a ton of different subjects , some of which i am brilliant in like Quantitative techniques while in others only the Lord knows how i do pass ie Accounts etc but all these subjects being brought in every 3 months has been leading me to a newer edge of insanity but thanks to a ton of new pals in my college , life so far has been a breeze
firstly i got my brother from another mother,chorwa aka wasim,barring the fact that he likes cricket and i like football and that he listens to indian music while i listen to english music , we have got tons in common , and while people say crap like
"You make friends after a long time " and " true friendship takes time to build"
we were THE BEST OF FRIENDS from the first day we met at the college during our introduction date ie 13th july 2010
Oh and even though he topped our year in the 1st term , the bangaliness hasnt come out in him YET
Then we have pagli aka swati, one of my few chick friends, so you can pretty much guys she aint a normal chick and well apart from the fact that she is a tomboy and beats all the guys up in class including me , she is bloody brilliant in presentation making and in anything related to accounts and commerce.
Then there is Mood swing aka Rahul who has more mood swings in one day than a 20 year old chick with a lot of period problems , and the freak has got the mouth of a loudspeaker,fucking idiot gets us into trouble so many times its unbelievable
and finally the final piece in our jigsaw so far has been Nangto[the nude one] aka Prithwi,quite possible the most decent person i may have come across ever since i came back from Dubai,Its unbelievable as to how a person cannot be corrupted by a soul like mine,
now all the said members here can take a joke and throw a good one as well and i believed that i may be the worst and corrupted person in class who makes life a living hell for everyone which includes some colorful characters like mriganko[the fucking manc with 4 names and is the slowest person in the class in terms of speaking], raju [the guy who gets eternally pawned every single day by every body in class EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY] and a few others as well,who all have a story stuffed with me abusing the day lights out of em, but this isnt about them, this is about the other side of the class, that is the other section the one i am NOT IN
now every teacher we have come across has told us that our section B is miles better than section A
"Your class is full of students who actually study while all the time more than half the class in the other section is absent"
Now one teacher saying it is fine but almost the entire faculty saying this was freaky ,so today we section B students got the privilege of having a joint class with em, it was a special Business Law class with a guest faculty and while the faculty coming is a freak himself ,filling the class with jokes and the like, today i finally saw why people never complained much about my class or even my group's behavior
The poor bloke who came to teach at 10 in the morning ended up by taking a class double the size he was supposed to filled with idiots who were constantly chattering away no matter what sir tried to do,there was actually a time i felt sorry for him,yeah i felt sorry for a teacher,second time ever in my life.
And the chuts in class were so full of themselves that they were leaving the class and re entering as they pleased ,almost as if sir didnt exist,sir actually had to pick up people and threaten em with dire consequences, a freaking visiting faculty member had to actually threaten people who were above 21 years old and he didnt have to pick anyone from our class up,it was a sad sad sight and unbelievably most of us wanted to get up and beat the shit out of the Sec A guys
now dont go on saying that i have become a geek and all , for this sir fills his class with double meaning ,fills it with jokes and the likes and this is how a faculty member was treated when he was liked,no wonder people hate to teach in Sec A,they shouldnt even be in such a class ,hell they dont deserve any education at all.
Now back to the good stuff, ever since i joined my MBA college i have been bombarded by a ton of different subjects , some of which i am brilliant in like Quantitative techniques while in others only the Lord knows how i do pass ie Accounts etc but all these subjects being brought in every 3 months has been leading me to a newer edge of insanity but thanks to a ton of new pals in my college , life so far has been a breeze
firstly i got my brother from another mother,chorwa aka wasim,barring the fact that he likes cricket and i like football and that he listens to indian music while i listen to english music , we have got tons in common , and while people say crap like
"You make friends after a long time " and " true friendship takes time to build"
we were THE BEST OF FRIENDS from the first day we met at the college during our introduction date ie 13th july 2010
Oh and even though he topped our year in the 1st term , the bangaliness hasnt come out in him YET
Then we have pagli aka swati, one of my few chick friends, so you can pretty much guys she aint a normal chick and well apart from the fact that she is a tomboy and beats all the guys up in class including me , she is bloody brilliant in presentation making and in anything related to accounts and commerce.
Then there is Mood swing aka Rahul who has more mood swings in one day than a 20 year old chick with a lot of period problems , and the freak has got the mouth of a loudspeaker,fucking idiot gets us into trouble so many times its unbelievable
and finally the final piece in our jigsaw so far has been Nangto[the nude one] aka Prithwi,quite possible the most decent person i may have come across ever since i came back from Dubai,Its unbelievable as to how a person cannot be corrupted by a soul like mine,
now all the said members here can take a joke and throw a good one as well and i believed that i may be the worst and corrupted person in class who makes life a living hell for everyone which includes some colorful characters like mriganko[the fucking manc with 4 names and is the slowest person in the class in terms of speaking], raju [the guy who gets eternally pawned every single day by every body in class EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY] and a few others as well,who all have a story stuffed with me abusing the day lights out of em, but this isnt about them, this is about the other side of the class, that is the other section the one i am NOT IN
now every teacher we have come across has told us that our section B is miles better than section A
"Your class is full of students who actually study while all the time more than half the class in the other section is absent"
Now one teacher saying it is fine but almost the entire faculty saying this was freaky ,so today we section B students got the privilege of having a joint class with em, it was a special Business Law class with a guest faculty and while the faculty coming is a freak himself ,filling the class with jokes and the like, today i finally saw why people never complained much about my class or even my group's behavior
The poor bloke who came to teach at 10 in the morning ended up by taking a class double the size he was supposed to filled with idiots who were constantly chattering away no matter what sir tried to do,there was actually a time i felt sorry for him,yeah i felt sorry for a teacher,second time ever in my life.
And the chuts in class were so full of themselves that they were leaving the class and re entering as they pleased ,almost as if sir didnt exist,sir actually had to pick up people and threaten em with dire consequences, a freaking visiting faculty member had to actually threaten people who were above 21 years old and he didnt have to pick anyone from our class up,it was a sad sad sight and unbelievably most of us wanted to get up and beat the shit out of the Sec A guys
now dont go on saying that i have become a geek and all , for this sir fills his class with double meaning ,fills it with jokes and the likes and this is how a faculty member was treated when he was liked,no wonder people hate to teach in Sec A,they shouldnt even be in such a class ,hell they dont deserve any education at all.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Bula Di jaana mein kaun?
This is not a article to bleat about the sexuality of India or the fact that we got a ton of HIV infected people and all that crap about using condoms and all,that is for another day when i actually have that "chance" of "doing it".No this is for the great maths teacher we got in class 12 to replace another freak.
The sad fact is that this teacher came to replace G Francis Sagunthar,i called hin shakuntala ,the guy was an amazing maths teacher but was an all and out freak,i mean he would start doing sums mentally all the time,speak in his crummy south indian accent,where the "yex"[x] is the same as "yes"[s]...for example
"The enneth term of the yexeth number is the whyeth term of the pee-eth number,if yex is yes and why is yay find the numbers"....what?
what?
no really what?
so when we heard that this bloke is leaving the school[to go to an all girls school] we all were happy[cept the geeks who loved the freak],we thought we would get a teacher who would teach us well or at least who wont be a freak but as usual its STB,we dont get that kinda luck.
So a day later came a teacher ,short and fat, ok looks dont count in school,and off she went to teach,well for starters she knew nothing about the subject and would try to force us to study,what ultimately became of around 35 boys trying to study ended up being 5 boys studying hard and the rest doing whatever the hell they like.
Me and me pals would just talk bout shit and watch the fun that happened in class,she would try so hard to try and control the students but to no avail,the bengali group would do their thing,the geeks their own thing,the comedians would do their own thing,for example akshay would put his feet up and use the table and his harmonica singing out Himesh songs one after another in his comical fashion
"TUMMMMMM ....................................DILLLLL MEEEEIIIN........SHAEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDD HUAAAAA
five minutes of silence then
"AAAAHISSSTAAAA.......AAAAAAHIIIISSSTAAAA"
socks off,shoes off and off he would go on singing,in fact once one of his shoes got thrown towards the teach and it missed her fortunately,so akshay went all hop about on one leg trying to retrieve his one shoe.....and then came one of the best dialogues i heard in school,
the teach got pissed off at akshay and was trying to hit him[she never did hit him but still]
chintoo got so pissed off he blurted out
"MAAAR RANDI AUR MAAAAAR"
from that day she was called BULADI
we never found out her real name.....
another time the bengali group were playing cricket using an exam board and pieces of paper ,when one guy got pissed and threw a piece of bread as a ball and the bloke whalloped it,and it landed straight on Buladi's head,she didnt say nothing bout butter was on her.
The icing on the cake was when we stuffed her cell phone with porno,and this was an elaborate plan made with a lot of care and planning,
so one day she comes to class and as usual leaves her cell phone on her table,so while some of the gujju and marru party distracted her using the ploy of having problems with some sums,she became so happy that someone asked for her help that she completely forgot bout the cell,it was aatish,gokul,seta,harsh shah ,ripu all distracted her,then Guha[r.i.p] took her cell,switched on the bluetooth and trasnferred some shit into it.....man after that she never let go of her cell.........
the sad fact that we found out a few months later was she used to teach somewhere else,we would wonder where the hell would a cheap teacher like that teach,and then the beans got spilt,she used to teach and i kid you not in Bahrain,now for all those who are geographically challeneged,Bahrain is a small country near U.A.E,where i resided for 7 years,and when me pals found out about this they never let me live this down,mocking me and buladi every time she would come into class,damn it.
MAAAR RANDI MAAAAAR!
The sad fact is that this teacher came to replace G Francis Sagunthar,i called hin shakuntala ,the guy was an amazing maths teacher but was an all and out freak,i mean he would start doing sums mentally all the time,speak in his crummy south indian accent,where the "yex"[x] is the same as "yes"[s]...for example
"The enneth term of the yexeth number is the whyeth term of the pee-eth number,if yex is yes and why is yay find the numbers"....what?
what?
no really what?
so when we heard that this bloke is leaving the school[to go to an all girls school] we all were happy[cept the geeks who loved the freak],we thought we would get a teacher who would teach us well or at least who wont be a freak but as usual its STB,we dont get that kinda luck.
So a day later came a teacher ,short and fat, ok looks dont count in school,and off she went to teach,well for starters she knew nothing about the subject and would try to force us to study,what ultimately became of around 35 boys trying to study ended up being 5 boys studying hard and the rest doing whatever the hell they like.
Me and me pals would just talk bout shit and watch the fun that happened in class,she would try so hard to try and control the students but to no avail,the bengali group would do their thing,the geeks their own thing,the comedians would do their own thing,for example akshay would put his feet up and use the table and his harmonica singing out Himesh songs one after another in his comical fashion
"TUMMMMMM ....................................DILLLLL MEEEEIIIN........SHAEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDD HUAAAAA
five minutes of silence then
"AAAAHISSSTAAAA.......AAAAAAHIIIISSSTAAAA"
socks off,shoes off and off he would go on singing,in fact once one of his shoes got thrown towards the teach and it missed her fortunately,so akshay went all hop about on one leg trying to retrieve his one shoe.....and then came one of the best dialogues i heard in school,
the teach got pissed off at akshay and was trying to hit him[she never did hit him but still]
chintoo got so pissed off he blurted out
"MAAAR RANDI AUR MAAAAAR"
from that day she was called BULADI
we never found out her real name.....
another time the bengali group were playing cricket using an exam board and pieces of paper ,when one guy got pissed and threw a piece of bread as a ball and the bloke whalloped it,and it landed straight on Buladi's head,she didnt say nothing bout butter was on her.
The icing on the cake was when we stuffed her cell phone with porno,and this was an elaborate plan made with a lot of care and planning,
so one day she comes to class and as usual leaves her cell phone on her table,so while some of the gujju and marru party distracted her using the ploy of having problems with some sums,she became so happy that someone asked for her help that she completely forgot bout the cell,it was aatish,gokul,seta,harsh shah ,ripu all distracted her,then Guha[r.i.p] took her cell,switched on the bluetooth and trasnferred some shit into it.....man after that she never let go of her cell.........
the sad fact that we found out a few months later was she used to teach somewhere else,we would wonder where the hell would a cheap teacher like that teach,and then the beans got spilt,she used to teach and i kid you not in Bahrain,now for all those who are geographically challeneged,Bahrain is a small country near U.A.E,where i resided for 7 years,and when me pals found out about this they never let me live this down,mocking me and buladi every time she would come into class,damn it.
MAAAR RANDI MAAAAAR!
Friday, September 4, 2009
Raha Aaha Aaha
As usual i start off being totally indebted to the one and only STBS,which for some freaking reason is NOT a circus but is rather an established school [for freaks].The students are and always were freaky,take my case for example,but the freakiness didnt end up just with the students ,oh no,it would infect the teachers as well.
So we had a ton of freaky teachers to talk about but the one teach that actually stands out the most was and i presume he still is teaching is Mr Raha,now the bloke was a typical bengali teacher who spoke in that awful bengali accent and thought he knew a lot,he did know a lot coz he had the most degrees in teaching and all,so what does that mean in our school?
He taught,and i aint kidding about this,physics,chemistry,biology,math,bengali and english.
I think he did teach history and geography but i aint sure about that,and he didnt teach these subjects to the junior classes ,oh no sir, he would teach the 9th and 10th standards and all,but as much as you may think he was a genius ,he was a freak and a damn good one at that
One think you people must realize by now or at least i have come up with a "theory" that more a person studies/learns in life and by learn i mean academically,the more stupid and freaky he gets,raha was a prime example of my "theory",back to the topic.
Raha had a real bad accent but then most bengalis do,but his logic was the real killer in class,of course his grasp of the english language also would contribute to his downfall,for eg:"Mr Fulllaaar[Fuller our princi of that time] haas tooo daughtar ,both of them aargh gaarls",well of course they shld be
"Draw aaa carcle of aany shape",well that shldnt be hard at all should it?
But of course he wouldnt freak us out with his "one liners" related to maths or females oh no,he would do stand up comedy with unknowing participants from the class
there was a bloke called Tausif or something like that whose parents had been called by Raha
so here is what would happen everyday for a few days
Raha:Tausif where aargh your paarants??
Tausif:Aee sir father out of station ,mother sick
next day
Raha:Tausif where aargh your paarants??
Tausif:Aee sir father out of station ,mother sick
the next day
Raha:Tausif where aargh your paarants??
Tausif:Aee sir father out of station ,mother sick
and this went on and on and on till.....
Raha:Tausif where aargh your paarants??
Tausif:Aee sir father out of station ,mother sick
RAHA:AAAe FAATAAR MAAATHAR BRAAATHAR SEEESSTER ALL OUT OF STATION ALL SEEECK?
and then even after this rebuke when tausif didnt bring his parents Raha lost it and
Raha:Tausif you write on piece of paper...you aargh orphaaaan....write it now!
Oh and of course he is the one who came up with my favorite one liner of probably all time
so he comes into class all angry and pissed off,it was the moral science class and during that time the infamous Dhananjoy case was up [if you dont know this guy raped and murdered a girl]...so raha is real pissed,comes into class and ...
Raha:EVERYBODY DHANANJOY,YOU DHANANJOY[pointing at a student],YOU DHANANJOY,WHOLE SOCIETY DHANANJOY.........
wow i mean we didnt even have to piss him off for this one off freakiness
oh no....one day during winter we went to school and this winter was damn cold and frosty ,i was literally in layers of clothing and if i am in layers with all me fat still on me it was bloody cold,i see in the distance a hazy figure coming out from the fog and guess who?...of course it was him and get this he was wearing a shawl,a vest,a pair of shorts and a monkey cap.....thats it.....
and of course he also cldnt give up a chance to screw up when he tried to impress a pal of mine with his "grasp" over the english language,so chintoo[rohit] meets raha a year or so after leaving school and he is talking bout where he is goin and where and what he will do in the future and what plans he has[rohit that is]...raha listens to him deeply and comes up with
Raha:Yees yees its good....you should not bee a sheeep without ladder...
Rohit thinks to himself "why the fuck shld i be a ship without a ladder?...."
then he understand raha meant "rudder"
we shld not be a ship without a rudder.............
Touche mate well said.....
So we had a ton of freaky teachers to talk about but the one teach that actually stands out the most was and i presume he still is teaching is Mr Raha,now the bloke was a typical bengali teacher who spoke in that awful bengali accent and thought he knew a lot,he did know a lot coz he had the most degrees in teaching and all,so what does that mean in our school?
He taught,and i aint kidding about this,physics,chemistry,biology,math,bengali and english.
I think he did teach history and geography but i aint sure about that,and he didnt teach these subjects to the junior classes ,oh no sir, he would teach the 9th and 10th standards and all,but as much as you may think he was a genius ,he was a freak and a damn good one at that
One think you people must realize by now or at least i have come up with a "theory" that more a person studies/learns in life and by learn i mean academically,the more stupid and freaky he gets,raha was a prime example of my "theory",back to the topic.
Raha had a real bad accent but then most bengalis do,but his logic was the real killer in class,of course his grasp of the english language also would contribute to his downfall,for eg:"Mr Fulllaaar[Fuller our princi of that time] haas tooo daughtar ,both of them aargh gaarls",well of course they shld be
"Draw aaa carcle of aany shape",well that shldnt be hard at all should it?
But of course he wouldnt freak us out with his "one liners" related to maths or females oh no,he would do stand up comedy with unknowing participants from the class
there was a bloke called Tausif or something like that whose parents had been called by Raha
so here is what would happen everyday for a few days
Raha:Tausif where aargh your paarants??
Tausif:Aee sir father out of station ,mother sick
next day
Raha:Tausif where aargh your paarants??
Tausif:Aee sir father out of station ,mother sick
the next day
Raha:Tausif where aargh your paarants??
Tausif:Aee sir father out of station ,mother sick
and this went on and on and on till.....
Raha:Tausif where aargh your paarants??
Tausif:Aee sir father out of station ,mother sick
RAHA:AAAe FAATAAR MAAATHAR BRAAATHAR SEEESSTER ALL OUT OF STATION ALL SEEECK?
and then even after this rebuke when tausif didnt bring his parents Raha lost it and
Raha:Tausif you write on piece of paper...you aargh orphaaaan....write it now!
Oh and of course he is the one who came up with my favorite one liner of probably all time
so he comes into class all angry and pissed off,it was the moral science class and during that time the infamous Dhananjoy case was up [if you dont know this guy raped and murdered a girl]...so raha is real pissed,comes into class and ...
Raha:EVERYBODY DHANANJOY,YOU DHANANJOY[pointing at a student],YOU DHANANJOY,WHOLE SOCIETY DHANANJOY.........
wow i mean we didnt even have to piss him off for this one off freakiness
oh no....one day during winter we went to school and this winter was damn cold and frosty ,i was literally in layers of clothing and if i am in layers with all me fat still on me it was bloody cold,i see in the distance a hazy figure coming out from the fog and guess who?...of course it was him and get this he was wearing a shawl,a vest,a pair of shorts and a monkey cap.....thats it.....
and of course he also cldnt give up a chance to screw up when he tried to impress a pal of mine with his "grasp" over the english language,so chintoo[rohit] meets raha a year or so after leaving school and he is talking bout where he is goin and where and what he will do in the future and what plans he has[rohit that is]...raha listens to him deeply and comes up with
Raha:Yees yees its good....you should not bee a sheeep without ladder...
Rohit thinks to himself "why the fuck shld i be a ship without a ladder?...."
then he understand raha meant "rudder"
we shld not be a ship without a rudder.............
Touche mate well said.....
Saturday, June 27, 2009
E=MC^2
In STB we didnt have the best of teachers......dont get me wrong....wait....fuck yeah we had real shit teachers....the list was endless....the teachers would often piss us off......we had this teach T K SHAH....for physics......i mean i know its ok to have a little pride in your academic excellence.....but dont go fucking boasting bout it from the 1st day of the new session
i had just passed the ICSE exams with around 78%......i aint a genius no more....so as per bengal tradition i was forced to take up science in me +2's even though i sucked at em......i took science with computers as me 6th subject which i was decent at.........
so a brand new session starts......well i thought this would be my best years in STB coz i did have me best pal Rohit in the same class.....so as bumchums we sat together and enters that BASTARD TIKU[Shah].......the jackass had tormented us in class 10 with his constant rambellings and strict disciplinarian methods of teaching
here is a notable excerpt from the douchebag
"I WILL GIVE YOU VERY SEVERE PUNISHMENT BOYZZZZZZZZZ"
am shit scared coz he would always carry a cane with him.......
"YOU NOW WILL HAVE VERY SEVER PUNISHMENT.........
STAND UP FOR THE ENTIRE CLASS......"
wait what?
thats crap man....i punish the public worse than that with my constant jabbering and abusing......
"NOW I WILL GIVE YOU EVEN MORE SEVER PUNISHMENT.....STAND AT THE BACK OF THE CLASS....."
WOW I AM SO FUCKING SCARED ...........sarcasm intended
so the douche was our class teacher for 2 years straight.......damn damn damn damn.......what a waste.....
he starts off by saying that he is a brilliant student and told us in some shit maharashtra board exam he secured something like 95% in physics maths and chemistry....and how he was a great student....where he spent his time teaching and all the historic details any normal person would have fallen asleep off....we couldnt do that coz he was the VP's ass licker.......only 1 person was paying complete 10000% attention to him ....it was his gay lover Partho Sarthi Laha.....first off all i dont think any "guy" can have such a name....but he did....
he would walk with his tit's popping out....and whenever he heard TIKU's shit voice...he would literally just run to the source of the sound....hell he was the only person in the world who would laugh at his shit hole jokes as well........
anyways TIKU then told us that if we didnt believe him .....he could bring in his papers and certificates and all just to prove that he did do the same.....fucking loser......
the guy had another problem as well....he suffered from some gastric problems....so he would constantly BURP all the while he was teaching....
and his burp wasntr a normal one....oh no...this was what he would burp
"GHEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW"
"GHEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW"
and the worst bit was he never apologized for that.....not once ....never.....
but if he caught someone even trying to yawn or make any sort of muscular movement around the mouth....the guy would point him out and would start saying a ton of shit like
"dont spread germs all around"
"if you dont like physics why did you take science?"
once he was taking a physics class and told us if we had any doubts regarding any topic we could ask him....so me GUJJU pal Bhaveen got up and asked him a question bout some topic which was a year old....
the guy responded
"BHAVEEEEEEEN YOU ARRRRRRREEEEEEEEE A YEARRRRR LAATE....I CANT HELP YOU......"
SOB.....sala haram khor.......but i dont hold any grudge against him for all this....what i do hate him for is his biased attitude towards his tution students......he would often ask the weak students to join his tution indirectly....for example
i was a shit weak student in class 11 and 12
my scores in physics read like the bangladesh cricket teams score card against an aussie bowling attack
12
24
16
30
these were me scores in 4 exams in the +2's....i havent said anything bout me maths scores...thats another story
so the guy was giving the papers for the physics exam...and as usual i failed...miserably.....he looked at me and said...i will never fucking forget the mockery he made off me that day
"SAEEEEEEEDD YOU ARE LIKE SOURAV GANGULY...FAILING ALL THE TIME....."
till that it was fine....i mean come on i also have made a ton of jokes on guys flunking.....
the next line pissed me off to another level..........
"YOU NEED A JAGMOHAN DALMIYA TO PASS......"
son of a bitch...damn asshole.....so how do i get back at the asshole
well he teaches in an adjacent building to me complex on the first floor....that building just contains shops....and a coaching class.....that building is rite next to me gate.....so whenever he is teaching and i can here him.....coz its easy to hear that BELCH from a mile away.....i go up to the ground floor....rite beneath his window and shout out
"TEEEN RUPIYA KA CHICKEN PAKODA.........TEEN RUPIYA KA CHICKEN PAKODA.........."
he never does jack bout that......a lot more to follow of the miser we all loved to hate TIKU........
i had just passed the ICSE exams with around 78%......i aint a genius no more....so as per bengal tradition i was forced to take up science in me +2's even though i sucked at em......i took science with computers as me 6th subject which i was decent at.........
so a brand new session starts......well i thought this would be my best years in STB coz i did have me best pal Rohit in the same class.....so as bumchums we sat together and enters that BASTARD TIKU[Shah].......the jackass had tormented us in class 10 with his constant rambellings and strict disciplinarian methods of teaching
here is a notable excerpt from the douchebag
"I WILL GIVE YOU VERY SEVERE PUNISHMENT BOYZZZZZZZZZ"
am shit scared coz he would always carry a cane with him.......
"YOU NOW WILL HAVE VERY SEVER PUNISHMENT.........
STAND UP FOR THE ENTIRE CLASS......"
wait what?
thats crap man....i punish the public worse than that with my constant jabbering and abusing......
"NOW I WILL GIVE YOU EVEN MORE SEVER PUNISHMENT.....STAND AT THE BACK OF THE CLASS....."
WOW I AM SO FUCKING SCARED ...........sarcasm intended
so the douche was our class teacher for 2 years straight.......damn damn damn damn.......what a waste.....
he starts off by saying that he is a brilliant student and told us in some shit maharashtra board exam he secured something like 95% in physics maths and chemistry....and how he was a great student....where he spent his time teaching and all the historic details any normal person would have fallen asleep off....we couldnt do that coz he was the VP's ass licker.......only 1 person was paying complete 10000% attention to him ....it was his gay lover Partho Sarthi Laha.....first off all i dont think any "guy" can have such a name....but he did....
he would walk with his tit's popping out....and whenever he heard TIKU's shit voice...he would literally just run to the source of the sound....hell he was the only person in the world who would laugh at his shit hole jokes as well........
anyways TIKU then told us that if we didnt believe him .....he could bring in his papers and certificates and all just to prove that he did do the same.....fucking loser......
the guy had another problem as well....he suffered from some gastric problems....so he would constantly BURP all the while he was teaching....
and his burp wasntr a normal one....oh no...this was what he would burp
"GHEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW"
"GHEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW"
and the worst bit was he never apologized for that.....not once ....never.....
but if he caught someone even trying to yawn or make any sort of muscular movement around the mouth....the guy would point him out and would start saying a ton of shit like
"dont spread germs all around"
"if you dont like physics why did you take science?"
once he was taking a physics class and told us if we had any doubts regarding any topic we could ask him....so me GUJJU pal Bhaveen got up and asked him a question bout some topic which was a year old....
the guy responded
"BHAVEEEEEEEN YOU ARRRRRRREEEEEEEEE A YEARRRRR LAATE....I CANT HELP YOU......"
SOB.....sala haram khor.......but i dont hold any grudge against him for all this....what i do hate him for is his biased attitude towards his tution students......he would often ask the weak students to join his tution indirectly....for example
i was a shit weak student in class 11 and 12
my scores in physics read like the bangladesh cricket teams score card against an aussie bowling attack
12
24
16
30
these were me scores in 4 exams in the +2's....i havent said anything bout me maths scores...thats another story
so the guy was giving the papers for the physics exam...and as usual i failed...miserably.....he looked at me and said...i will never fucking forget the mockery he made off me that day
"SAEEEEEEEDD YOU ARE LIKE SOURAV GANGULY...FAILING ALL THE TIME....."
till that it was fine....i mean come on i also have made a ton of jokes on guys flunking.....
the next line pissed me off to another level..........
"YOU NEED A JAGMOHAN DALMIYA TO PASS......"
son of a bitch...damn asshole.....so how do i get back at the asshole
well he teaches in an adjacent building to me complex on the first floor....that building just contains shops....and a coaching class.....that building is rite next to me gate.....so whenever he is teaching and i can here him.....coz its easy to hear that BELCH from a mile away.....i go up to the ground floor....rite beneath his window and shout out
"TEEEN RUPIYA KA CHICKEN PAKODA.........TEEN RUPIYA KA CHICKEN PAKODA.........."
he never does jack bout that......a lot more to follow of the miser we all loved to hate TIKU........
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