Only July 14th 2010, I started a journey, after the glorious victory of the Spanish Armada over the Flying Dutchmen, it was time to grow and gain some knowledge about the most dreaded thing in life, "a business" or "work" as we call it.
Especially since I had just finished a laborious 3 year slog to get my degree, graduation was done, it was time for a post graduation course. Shuddering a lot since this was a "professional" institute, meaning, no bunking, no breaks, long hours and wearing corporate clothes and having corporate etiquette, where the fuck was I going? What the fuck was I going to do for 2 years.
Dressed to kill and not wanting to leave my humble yet comfortable abode, the journey to reach the said institute was a long one, starting early in the morning with the pixies still have laid their dust in my eyes, wiping them away, having a morning constitutional and making my breakfast, easy take? Not for one who would stay awake till the stars were bright at night and the howling dogs would have slept in the cool breeze of an open world, here I was about to begin the journey which would ultimately lead me to a closed world where I could still explore a lot more than expected, ironic.
The destination reached, making my way up a mountain of stairs, a little fear , a little excitement but not a lot of happiness. Who wants to gain more knowledge about stuff they don't like? This was not going to be a oration for 2 years about football, gaming or music, rather about marketing, finance and HR.
The stairs led me up to a huge room, with 180 trapped souls all either baying to be let out from the torture or just to get over with the day, fortunately meeting my brother, long lost saved my soul for the coming 2 years... I was sure these 2 years would be hell on earth, how wrong I was.
Fast forward to present day and tomorrow is my final day of reckoning in the institute, while some of us have been absorbed by the torture called as work, I would suggest those who still have a few days left before joining to enjoy each day, as once work starts, there is no coming back, there is no life, that is life for 40 or so years.
While this post starts off in a very sad tone, its time to rejoice for the moments that made it a quite extraordinary 2 years with some kickass friends.
1: The first day, returning home in a taxi at 8:30 PM when we spent the entire day from 9 AM in college, stuck in a traffic jam, rain pouring into the car and our laptops getting soaked, abusing a lot of people, wow, a amazing day.
2:The first session with the owner of the college and how he trolled us hard by saying that we were the worst ever batch in the history of the college and that "retests" were being introduced just because of us.
3: The first class by the Ghajini [search for the post on this]
4: The first time we had to collect money for Serendipity and the following day when we were on troll mode and we were on the same mode again in the 2nd serendipity.
5:The endless torturing and picking on the Mriganko, a freak who runs like he is being chased by the ladyboys of thailand and he seems to be one.
6: Showing everyone my "magic trick"
7: Shouting out aloud the Bonbon laws and being a dick to most girls in the college by constantly trolling em, telling em to wear decent clothes and if they did would tell em all the sickest perverted jokes ever.
8: Getting to troll about with the group of 5 in college, Swati, Wasim, Nangto [prithwi] and chutiya Rahul
9:Meeting the biggest fattest whale in college and yet being one of the funniest people to be around and having a genuine heart, Sethji
10: Having a kickass time during my internship, pissing off the boss, causing all sorts of havoc and not working.
11:Watching the Nangto dance about like there is no stopping him, the best dancer ever in the college, all bow down to the king.
As the final day dawns on me, us, the people who have started being slaves to organizations and companies , we all feel the same, work is not what its all cracked up to be.
While we all thought of earning money and having our own freedom in thinking and decision making, we are still slaves in a system, especially since we are freshers having no idea of what work actually is and how trolly people can be on newbies.
Its torturous, its laborious,its typical work.
While we all bitched about how pathetic college was, it seems that the theory of relativity crops up again.
Nursery>KG>Primary School>Secondary School>Graduation>Post Graduation>Work.
Work sucks, college didn't.
Oh to go back again, how the fuck did I grow up so fast?
22 years in a blink, 40 more years of crummy work.
Life trolls us all.
Showing posts with label GBS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label GBS. Show all posts
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Friday, January 20, 2012
Trollfest
Before I write about the title , this is my 100th post on this blogspot, so that in itself deserves a celebration. The blog has been up for almost 2 years now, probably the longest thing I have even done apart from being in educational institutes or loving good old fashion KFC for as long a period of time as this, so yay me .
Back to business, today we had our yearly function for our college, will not name the function but suffice to say its only fun when you can go full on berserk. I was looking forward to it this time since I had worked my ass off for a couple of weeks, by work I mean a proper corporate job and not some work as in finding a new pornstar and downloading a ton of videos, SOPA should put a stop to that real soon.
So meeting up with some kickass besties was the #1 job of the day, met the Manko man in his last weekend in cal before he leaves for mallu land, Hyderabad, but he is not sad about it as he will get to meet a ton of hot muslim chicks, proper muslim chicks, and he calls me a racist.
Also had a plan to meet up a couple of my college besties since I started working, I have not been able to meet em, today was that day.
This day will not just be remembered for me having met a few friends and had a normal sit down fun time, reaching the said function way late in the afternoon even though the whole thing started at around 9 AM proves how much "boss" I can be, still met my friends and I decided to be the massive dick troll I can be.
First target to face my wrath was Mriganka a typical manc, who runs like a girl without a proper center of gravity using his arms for balance while running like some barbie toy, gave him the Big Show Bear hug a lotta times, pushed him about and generally bullied him but the sport didn't mind, after all I had met him after a month or so.
The next targets were the other students of the college, putting up a cultural fest is good and all but if you know you are shit you should just stay away from singing dancing and acting and all that crap, the sad fact is everyone thinks they are Robert Downey Jr or Morgan Freeman or Freddy Mercury , the fact in reality is they are Rebecca Black or Bieber.
After trolling on a person real hard and picking on him while he was on stage trying to sing wearing a white kurta , to which I constantly bellowed "You look saxy" to "I love the design on your Kurta, who is the designer" to the oh so normal "Once More" chant even though the act should have been stopped half way, Things as usual must go awry and out of hand and yes for once I did go overboard and went on a troll spree , shouting obscenities and picking on almost any crap act that went on stage, simple fact is if you are shit you should be told the thing to your face, you are not a 2 year old kid who will be scarred for life. If your parents/relatives/teachers never let the law down on how much shit you can be in those artistic works then you need a friend to say it and if your shit assed scared friends can't do it then I take the mantle and let you know the damn truth before you go on and make a complete arse of yourself in front of much important people.
Of course no one understands the true genius of my caliber while they get a first hand experience of my madness, you see I need to explain it for these people who don't get it, they aren't as intelligent as I am and neither are most people sensible enough to understand what I say, always said the genius that is the Bonbon will be missed after I am gone, so as I said, parents were pissed, so were the teachers and even before the function was over, all me friends and I went over and had dinner before anyone else.
Trolled?
Fuck yes and very well indeed.
Back to business, today we had our yearly function for our college, will not name the function but suffice to say its only fun when you can go full on berserk. I was looking forward to it this time since I had worked my ass off for a couple of weeks, by work I mean a proper corporate job and not some work as in finding a new pornstar and downloading a ton of videos, SOPA should put a stop to that real soon.
So meeting up with some kickass besties was the #1 job of the day, met the Manko man in his last weekend in cal before he leaves for mallu land, Hyderabad, but he is not sad about it as he will get to meet a ton of hot muslim chicks, proper muslim chicks, and he calls me a racist.
Also had a plan to meet up a couple of my college besties since I started working, I have not been able to meet em, today was that day.
This day will not just be remembered for me having met a few friends and had a normal sit down fun time, reaching the said function way late in the afternoon even though the whole thing started at around 9 AM proves how much "boss" I can be, still met my friends and I decided to be the massive dick troll I can be.
First target to face my wrath was Mriganka a typical manc, who runs like a girl without a proper center of gravity using his arms for balance while running like some barbie toy, gave him the Big Show Bear hug a lotta times, pushed him about and generally bullied him but the sport didn't mind, after all I had met him after a month or so.
The next targets were the other students of the college, putting up a cultural fest is good and all but if you know you are shit you should just stay away from singing dancing and acting and all that crap, the sad fact is everyone thinks they are Robert Downey Jr or Morgan Freeman or Freddy Mercury , the fact in reality is they are Rebecca Black or Bieber.
After trolling on a person real hard and picking on him while he was on stage trying to sing wearing a white kurta , to which I constantly bellowed "You look saxy" to "I love the design on your Kurta, who is the designer" to the oh so normal "Once More" chant even though the act should have been stopped half way, Things as usual must go awry and out of hand and yes for once I did go overboard and went on a troll spree , shouting obscenities and picking on almost any crap act that went on stage, simple fact is if you are shit you should be told the thing to your face, you are not a 2 year old kid who will be scarred for life. If your parents/relatives/teachers never let the law down on how much shit you can be in those artistic works then you need a friend to say it and if your shit assed scared friends can't do it then I take the mantle and let you know the damn truth before you go on and make a complete arse of yourself in front of much important people.
Of course no one understands the true genius of my caliber while they get a first hand experience of my madness, you see I need to explain it for these people who don't get it, they aren't as intelligent as I am and neither are most people sensible enough to understand what I say, always said the genius that is the Bonbon will be missed after I am gone, so as I said, parents were pissed, so were the teachers and even before the function was over, all me friends and I went over and had dinner before anyone else.
Trolled?
Fuck yes and very well indeed.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Clap your hands and say "Yeah!"
Our college is certainly one which tries hard to make it better for the students. From the courses available to the faculty teaching us, not all of it is perfect, this ain't a perfect world but the work done is not half bad. There are a few massive glitches in this process though, the authorities expect us to be the next Branson or Mallya or Azim Premji, you catch my drift. We on the other hand are more close to becoming kameenas and all rather than becoming the great entrepreneurs people expect us to be.
We have these special corporate connect classes where eminent people from various backgrounds come and give us a session about what the industry wants, their experiences and teach us about stuff like the eurozone debt crises or at least they attempt to.
What happens often is the said external faculty is too freaking good for us, we have no idea what is being said not because the person has some funny accent, all Indians have funny accents, its because this person knows way too much and tries to teach us on a level which is on a par with the Harvards and MITs . Sadly we are not even close to that level cos none of us really want to study and learn stuff till we are in the deep end of the pool.
These sessions are long and tedious, I mean they are often so boring that I can sleep with my eyes open. Hell we even have learned how to shut off our senses, eyes ,ears and mind don't work for that 90 minute session. 90 minutes at least, it often extends longer, when we humans have an attention span of like 30 seconds and I have an attention span of like 10 seconds, that is not a good outing for either, the faculty or us.
So how do we combat the boredom and utter frustration of listening to people talk about stuff that goes over our head? We Clap, we clap like there is no end to the day. Often the faculty is introduced by a professor, so after he is done, everyone in our class, around 100 people clap like hell, for 2-3 minutes, till we are asked to stop, we clap, we cheer, we scream , we obliterate every decibel level for a corporate building and we destroy every bit of self esteem that person has and we act like the shameless punks we are.
If you think that doing this once was bad enough , we take it to another level when the person is done with his speech and a memento is given to him, then we go ballistic , clapping our asses off, the people who do come to talk to us start blushing and silently tries to walk away but we are never done with this kinda crap and continue clapping.
The final insult that could be provided is after the clapping, instead of letting out guest leave the class, we all pack our bags and rush out like school children rather than the mature 22+ year olds we are. Totally not caring for all authorita and seniority in the corporate world. Often these people never come back to the college and we all know why, now.
So there you have it, corporate world, get ready for an influx of hard clappers and abusers, coz we be invading offices starting January 2012, no wonder the world is ending in that year.
We have these special corporate connect classes where eminent people from various backgrounds come and give us a session about what the industry wants, their experiences and teach us about stuff like the eurozone debt crises or at least they attempt to.
What happens often is the said external faculty is too freaking good for us, we have no idea what is being said not because the person has some funny accent, all Indians have funny accents, its because this person knows way too much and tries to teach us on a level which is on a par with the Harvards and MITs . Sadly we are not even close to that level cos none of us really want to study and learn stuff till we are in the deep end of the pool.
These sessions are long and tedious, I mean they are often so boring that I can sleep with my eyes open. Hell we even have learned how to shut off our senses, eyes ,ears and mind don't work for that 90 minute session. 90 minutes at least, it often extends longer, when we humans have an attention span of like 30 seconds and I have an attention span of like 10 seconds, that is not a good outing for either, the faculty or us.
So how do we combat the boredom and utter frustration of listening to people talk about stuff that goes over our head? We Clap, we clap like there is no end to the day. Often the faculty is introduced by a professor, so after he is done, everyone in our class, around 100 people clap like hell, for 2-3 minutes, till we are asked to stop, we clap, we cheer, we scream , we obliterate every decibel level for a corporate building and we destroy every bit of self esteem that person has and we act like the shameless punks we are.
If you think that doing this once was bad enough , we take it to another level when the person is done with his speech and a memento is given to him, then we go ballistic , clapping our asses off, the people who do come to talk to us start blushing and silently tries to walk away but we are never done with this kinda crap and continue clapping.
The final insult that could be provided is after the clapping, instead of letting out guest leave the class, we all pack our bags and rush out like school children rather than the mature 22+ year olds we are. Totally not caring for all authorita and seniority in the corporate world. Often these people never come back to the college and we all know why, now.
So there you have it, corporate world, get ready for an influx of hard clappers and abusers, coz we be invading offices starting January 2012, no wonder the world is ending in that year.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Color me embarrassed
More than a year has passed of my Masters in Calcutta , the pressure is surely on with a lot of projects and assignments thrown down our throats, the placement season is to begin which means that people are going crazy about getting a job in a company.
Our corporate relations cell has set up so many rules and regulations its unfair, you can't change your job once you get selected, you can't miss one interview or you are out of the placement drive and a host of other rules are there, plus we are made to sign this sheet containing the rules in like 5 minutes and all, its quite stressful, most of us knowing that we wont be getting a job that we will retire with, getting the job is the most important thing for us all.
Our cell also has this bloke who thinks he is the greatest person that ever lived, not Austin Aries , the greatest wrestler and anti hero I have ever seen, the guy brags that Calcutta is a dead place and we should move out, Calcutta has no night life, no social life and all. Valid points but the facht is , HE is working in Calcutta, Why? I have no idea but I sure as hell will ask him one day.
Recently the same guy with another person from the cell, came into our class, made us sit like we were on death row or something and started lecturing us as to how one of the biggest companies was to come, Asian Paints was the name of the company . truly a big company, biggest Indian paint company, third biggest in Asia and so on, the list continues, the person was whoring as to how hard it has been for him to get the company to come here and how we should be happy and try our best to impress the person who is to come and show him our caliber and acumen.
That last bit is the thing that wont be shown by any of our students, for all the good students with a high IQ and all, which unfortunately includes me but some of the students here really know how to take the mickey out of situations, hence there is often stupid name calling for the teachers, asking random stupid questions, walking out of class going to the toilet and of course the classic , clapping your ass off even after the sir/ madam has finished the lecture, this happened to one of our college trustees , the clapping went on and on and his "stock" in front of my eyes went down and down .
So the day comes and everyone , including yours truly, has gone through the website just to get an idea of what the company is and what are the business options and plans that they do. I reach college and I dread people making fun of me for going through their website and being the butt of all jokes, I find the geeks reading the entire stock market performance over the years, stock options and all of the company, suddenly I feel I am not the sad person after all, there was one bloke worse off than me , Barik wearing a suit, for some freaky reason he wears a suit to stand out from everyone , yes he may have a high IQ as well but man does he look like a freak wearing what he does.
Now the worst bit about these meetings with the "corporates" is the timing of it, after a tough day of class, at 5 PM is our scheduled meet, which means the thing wont start before 6 PM and I wont reach home before say 8:30, If I am lucky. This day was not my lucky day, I had a terrible cold, plus 2 classes, back to back of Consumer Behaviour, which is a real toil to be truthful, Sir does try to make the class interesting but 20 minutes into the class everyone loses their interest, so after 2 classes, and a lot of sneezing and coughing, I did infect around 10 people sitting near me , some of em got to miss class on Monday, so they should be happy, back to the day.
Class ends and I feel terrible absolutely sick but I decide to stay on as that whole CRP cell may go crazy on me, the college sir comes with a few CRP people and we wait for the Asian Paints guy , somewhat sure that some old person will come who has a lot of knowledge and experience in the field, we also had somehow in our heads got the jingle of Nerolac and were thinking its the Asian Paints jingle, taking that out took some real hard work.
At 5:15 , the gate opens and this guy walks in who , at the most, is older than us by 5 years at the max, he was the HR head of the Eastern region, shocker, what was to start was more loltastic, now everyone was in the mood to impress him so all they asked was what job offers do they have and what are the opportunities for growth in the organization, then comes the barrage of questions
Q: What type of people do you want in the organization? Would you take Engineers?
A: I am sorry but its a company policy that for sales reps we do not take then but they can always apply for R&D but thats a long shot as well
Q: I did my Internship in a sales profile and I achieved my target, I am a Btech, so......?
A: Sorry but company policy again.
Q: Suppose I do apply and I have a Btech, what could be my options?
You should be able to guess the answer as well, again another bit was that we would get a sales profile in an interior tier 2 city or something , which meant keeping relationships with our dealers, meaning drinking and smoking with em, he made sure that the chicks should not get their hopes high but again a chick asks
if she will be made to go to places she would not enjoy and again the HR defends saying that the company would not expect anyone to go anywhere they are not comfortable but what was he supposed to say?
"Yes we expect each and everyone of you to whore about in front of our dealers so that they are happy and you become the sad crummy people that you are in reality"
Most of the smart people did not ask any stupid questions, some smart people did actually ask proper questions like their selling methods and all but all in all those 75 minutes I will not get back in my life, that whole clapping bit did not happen, my nose was red like a christmas ornament, my head was spinning like a top , while I made my way back home, tired, sick and pissed, the journey took me 2 hours, I somehow managed to twist my ankle real bad on the road and when I thought I did heat up my food back home I didn't set the timer right and the food came out cold from the microwave, too tired to put it back in.
The whole day was just an embarrassment for all the students, am sure that the HR will not be coming back to our college to pick anyone up, well am sure he wont come back for the Btechs and they still will ask him , Why?
So much for being in a place with high acumen people.
Our corporate relations cell has set up so many rules and regulations its unfair, you can't change your job once you get selected, you can't miss one interview or you are out of the placement drive and a host of other rules are there, plus we are made to sign this sheet containing the rules in like 5 minutes and all, its quite stressful, most of us knowing that we wont be getting a job that we will retire with, getting the job is the most important thing for us all.
Our cell also has this bloke who thinks he is the greatest person that ever lived, not Austin Aries , the greatest wrestler and anti hero I have ever seen, the guy brags that Calcutta is a dead place and we should move out, Calcutta has no night life, no social life and all. Valid points but the facht is , HE is working in Calcutta, Why? I have no idea but I sure as hell will ask him one day.
Recently the same guy with another person from the cell, came into our class, made us sit like we were on death row or something and started lecturing us as to how one of the biggest companies was to come, Asian Paints was the name of the company . truly a big company, biggest Indian paint company, third biggest in Asia and so on, the list continues, the person was whoring as to how hard it has been for him to get the company to come here and how we should be happy and try our best to impress the person who is to come and show him our caliber and acumen.
That last bit is the thing that wont be shown by any of our students, for all the good students with a high IQ and all, which unfortunately includes me but some of the students here really know how to take the mickey out of situations, hence there is often stupid name calling for the teachers, asking random stupid questions, walking out of class going to the toilet and of course the classic , clapping your ass off even after the sir/ madam has finished the lecture, this happened to one of our college trustees , the clapping went on and on and his "stock" in front of my eyes went down and down .
So the day comes and everyone , including yours truly, has gone through the website just to get an idea of what the company is and what are the business options and plans that they do. I reach college and I dread people making fun of me for going through their website and being the butt of all jokes, I find the geeks reading the entire stock market performance over the years, stock options and all of the company, suddenly I feel I am not the sad person after all, there was one bloke worse off than me , Barik wearing a suit, for some freaky reason he wears a suit to stand out from everyone , yes he may have a high IQ as well but man does he look like a freak wearing what he does.
Now the worst bit about these meetings with the "corporates" is the timing of it, after a tough day of class, at 5 PM is our scheduled meet, which means the thing wont start before 6 PM and I wont reach home before say 8:30, If I am lucky. This day was not my lucky day, I had a terrible cold, plus 2 classes, back to back of Consumer Behaviour, which is a real toil to be truthful, Sir does try to make the class interesting but 20 minutes into the class everyone loses their interest, so after 2 classes, and a lot of sneezing and coughing, I did infect around 10 people sitting near me , some of em got to miss class on Monday, so they should be happy, back to the day.
Class ends and I feel terrible absolutely sick but I decide to stay on as that whole CRP cell may go crazy on me, the college sir comes with a few CRP people and we wait for the Asian Paints guy , somewhat sure that some old person will come who has a lot of knowledge and experience in the field, we also had somehow in our heads got the jingle of Nerolac and were thinking its the Asian Paints jingle, taking that out took some real hard work.
At 5:15 , the gate opens and this guy walks in who , at the most, is older than us by 5 years at the max, he was the HR head of the Eastern region, shocker, what was to start was more loltastic, now everyone was in the mood to impress him so all they asked was what job offers do they have and what are the opportunities for growth in the organization, then comes the barrage of questions
Q: What type of people do you want in the organization? Would you take Engineers?
A: I am sorry but its a company policy that for sales reps we do not take then but they can always apply for R&D but thats a long shot as well
Q: I did my Internship in a sales profile and I achieved my target, I am a Btech, so......?
A: Sorry but company policy again.
Q: Suppose I do apply and I have a Btech, what could be my options?
You should be able to guess the answer as well, again another bit was that we would get a sales profile in an interior tier 2 city or something , which meant keeping relationships with our dealers, meaning drinking and smoking with em, he made sure that the chicks should not get their hopes high but again a chick asks
if she will be made to go to places she would not enjoy and again the HR defends saying that the company would not expect anyone to go anywhere they are not comfortable but what was he supposed to say?
"Yes we expect each and everyone of you to whore about in front of our dealers so that they are happy and you become the sad crummy people that you are in reality"
Most of the smart people did not ask any stupid questions, some smart people did actually ask proper questions like their selling methods and all but all in all those 75 minutes I will not get back in my life, that whole clapping bit did not happen, my nose was red like a christmas ornament, my head was spinning like a top , while I made my way back home, tired, sick and pissed, the journey took me 2 hours, I somehow managed to twist my ankle real bad on the road and when I thought I did heat up my food back home I didn't set the timer right and the food came out cold from the microwave, too tired to put it back in.
The whole day was just an embarrassment for all the students, am sure that the HR will not be coming back to our college to pick anyone up, well am sure he wont come back for the Btechs and they still will ask him , Why?
So much for being in a place with high acumen people.
Friday, August 5, 2011
The Conspiracy
I have always loved those conspiracy theories, the one about 9/11, Saddam etc etc etc, I know more than half of them are as real as the love a person has for their spouse of 50 years when they see a hot new play thing wanting to tag along with em but they always portrayed a completely different yet believable aspect of any real life incident.
Coming back, our major classes began this week with the brothers being separated, Wasim took finance as his major while I took marketing. Wasn't really a hard choice, I like adverts and all and I suck at anything related to mathematics, plus I suck at computer knowledge as well so IS was not my option either.
While our classes are not always from 10- 5 as it were in the first year, we do have a long distance to travel and often have to leave around noon to reach college by 1:30, on one such day our class was in the second half of the day. We meet at around 12:40 and are on the look out for a car pool to take us to college but we find a bus, as we are the "golden children" of our college or at least because Wasim is the college topper we jump on and sit.
During an amazing , warm, sweat filled journey Wasim has this moment of epiphany while looking at this huge garbage pile near Science City
Wasim: "Adeem, tera chance hai"
Me:"WTF are you talking about?"
Bear in mind, on a normal day Wasim would have retorted back with an abuse but since he was fasting during the month of Ramadan and I was not, cos of "issues" he decided to do the calm thing.
Wasim :"Arrey , you are in Marketing stream, most of the toppers are in Finance so you could do well and come in the top 10 of the marketing stream"
Me:"hahahahahahahahahah, chutia saala mera kaam nahin hai, sapna dekh"
Little did I know, this could have been my last conversation with one of my "best friends".
The bus ride ends and in between I have racked up more sins than a whore by abusing the shit out of a person fasting during the month of Ramadan while I am not even close to fasting myself, not only that, I make sure some crappy thought comes to his head but to protect himself from this vile creature he has learned one massive thing from me
"Your intentions [neeyat] must always be clean", I live by that rule and now so does he.
As we are getting off the bus I am supposed to follow the bugger across the road all because I decide to follow the correct manner to cross a street.
Look left, then right, then left and then cross the street, this has made me the joke of my class in college, which I don't mind one bit, crossing a street near my college is not easy though, cars, buses, autos, cycle rickshaws, tempos etc etc etc all can and will run over you.
So my friend tells me, as soon as I see him cross the street I should follow him, well this day I decide to do the same, while a state bus is like 30 meters away from us , a red santro is right next to the said bus, we have enough time to cross the road, since this is Calcutta , nothing is so easy and all off a sudden the bus decides to race the Santro, which would NOT BE PICKING UP ANY passengers , the Santro also wont back down and starts racing against the bus, Wasim somehow manages to slip in between the bus and the car with his bag barely scrapping through the gap.
Now its time for the fat one, I decide to jump back and let the things pass, but right behind me is this huge concrete divider , am stuck, am freaked out and am nervous like hell, the bus driver isn't trying to slow down as well, with a bit of luck I manage to use my left had to push myself and jump away from the bus which does stop a second later.
While the bus driver , Wasim and I spent 5 minutes rebuking each other and while I lay the blame completely on him, he just smoothly walks past saying "Its the bus driver's fault".
Then it hits me, when I was studying in Dubai, I was a straight A student in all subjects barring Hindi, hell I was a elocution champion for years at a stretch however as soon as I came back to Calcutta I started sucking at studies and well porn did corrupt me but so did football, this could have been the time [marketing 2nd year major] where I could have done something big and topped or something and just when Wasim blurts out what could happen, ie me doing well in the exams for once, I am almost killed by the same "friend" who said I can't cross a street by making me cross a street, woh dubla bach gaya, and I almost got ran over.
Two things come out from this
1:Wasim is a frenemy
2:The world does revolve around me.
Coming back, our major classes began this week with the brothers being separated, Wasim took finance as his major while I took marketing. Wasn't really a hard choice, I like adverts and all and I suck at anything related to mathematics, plus I suck at computer knowledge as well so IS was not my option either.
While our classes are not always from 10- 5 as it were in the first year, we do have a long distance to travel and often have to leave around noon to reach college by 1:30, on one such day our class was in the second half of the day. We meet at around 12:40 and are on the look out for a car pool to take us to college but we find a bus, as we are the "golden children" of our college or at least because Wasim is the college topper we jump on and sit.
During an amazing , warm, sweat filled journey Wasim has this moment of epiphany while looking at this huge garbage pile near Science City
Wasim: "Adeem, tera chance hai"
Me:"WTF are you talking about?"
Bear in mind, on a normal day Wasim would have retorted back with an abuse but since he was fasting during the month of Ramadan and I was not, cos of "issues" he decided to do the calm thing.
Wasim :"Arrey , you are in Marketing stream, most of the toppers are in Finance so you could do well and come in the top 10 of the marketing stream"
Me:"hahahahahahahahahah, chutia saala mera kaam nahin hai, sapna dekh"
Little did I know, this could have been my last conversation with one of my "best friends".
The bus ride ends and in between I have racked up more sins than a whore by abusing the shit out of a person fasting during the month of Ramadan while I am not even close to fasting myself, not only that, I make sure some crappy thought comes to his head but to protect himself from this vile creature he has learned one massive thing from me
"Your intentions [neeyat] must always be clean", I live by that rule and now so does he.
As we are getting off the bus I am supposed to follow the bugger across the road all because I decide to follow the correct manner to cross a street.
Look left, then right, then left and then cross the street, this has made me the joke of my class in college, which I don't mind one bit, crossing a street near my college is not easy though, cars, buses, autos, cycle rickshaws, tempos etc etc etc all can and will run over you.
So my friend tells me, as soon as I see him cross the street I should follow him, well this day I decide to do the same, while a state bus is like 30 meters away from us , a red santro is right next to the said bus, we have enough time to cross the road, since this is Calcutta , nothing is so easy and all off a sudden the bus decides to race the Santro, which would NOT BE PICKING UP ANY passengers , the Santro also wont back down and starts racing against the bus, Wasim somehow manages to slip in between the bus and the car with his bag barely scrapping through the gap.
Now its time for the fat one, I decide to jump back and let the things pass, but right behind me is this huge concrete divider , am stuck, am freaked out and am nervous like hell, the bus driver isn't trying to slow down as well, with a bit of luck I manage to use my left had to push myself and jump away from the bus which does stop a second later.
While the bus driver , Wasim and I spent 5 minutes rebuking each other and while I lay the blame completely on him, he just smoothly walks past saying "Its the bus driver's fault".
Then it hits me, when I was studying in Dubai, I was a straight A student in all subjects barring Hindi, hell I was a elocution champion for years at a stretch however as soon as I came back to Calcutta I started sucking at studies and well porn did corrupt me but so did football, this could have been the time [marketing 2nd year major] where I could have done something big and topped or something and just when Wasim blurts out what could happen, ie me doing well in the exams for once, I am almost killed by the same "friend" who said I can't cross a street by making me cross a street, woh dubla bach gaya, and I almost got ran over.
Two things come out from this
1:Wasim is a frenemy
2:The world does revolve around me.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
A year gone but nothing has changed
July 13th 2010 , the day after the 2010 world cup in South Africa and a new chapter in my life started with me going to my MBA college ,Globsyn Business School.
This post is me joining back after one year, especially after the end of the tumultuous and pathetic excuse of a summer internship I had, which did give me a lot of free time but certainly made me slog around like a whore trying to pay up to her pimp and I made more people upset than a man touching himself in front of a religious building.
Now everyone has completed their internship and its a norm to present what was done during this said 2 month job, companies are allotted randomly and people are treated like slaves to get shit work done. The first day of college starts and we get a nice lecture about how important the internship is and how much our presentation and word report counts as it could help us land some job.
Someone should have told me this before and then maybe I would have worked hard, anyways the day starts with more than half the students not coming to class, the few that did come got scared with a rumor floating about that presentations were to start today, hearing this a few more ran away, while I was safe in the knowledge that presentations cannot start today as we were not given a proper list of who is to present and when. Our presentations were to be completed a week back but still people have not even started their presentations.
While we are all laughing about what we did during our internship, our class door opens and 3 teachers walk in and while 2 of em were quite easy to deal with the 3rd one was "Ghajini" [read my earlier post about Ghajini]. The Sadist who knows more english than all the English combined was back and was he back with a vengeance. People were asked to volunteer and as usual no one would raise their hand, they did not want to get slaughtered on the first day of the 2nd year, while some people eventually did volunteer, I was forced to join along and I was supposed to be the 3rd presenter.
Ghajini was on a tear , asking people for their analysis reports of their work, he did not want the crap about the company profile and all. I had no analysis, hell I was made to work like a normal sales guy, no analysis at all. The Lord has funny ways to prove he is there, while all my friends know I could be in deep shit, just before I step up to present, ghajini leaves class and doesn't come back until after I am done.
After my presentation one of the teachers asked me
"What was your learning from this whole internship experience?"
I replied
"Ma'am, Office Politics and how to deal with em"
People laugh
Sir asks me
"Suppose Karim, you got selected in the company for a full time job....."
before he could complete his question I replied
"But Sir, we already told em we are not interested in the company or the job"
Laugh bitches laugh hard, I never lost the touch even after I was away for 3 months.
While my presentations went well enough, people got raped, proper rape, raped so hard like they show in those CSI shows where the person changes and probably will never be the same again, unable to express their feelings or talk to people for a few weeks or months, it was that bad during some presentations. I was snickering away like an arse not caring much for the sadistic rape that was occurring in front of my eyes, people were backing out of the presentations like asking for volunteers to work in Afghanistan.
Another thing apart from the internship is the presence of the new first years, cannon fodder in most colleges, ragging has completely been outlawed and rightly so, so now its called interaction sessions so that we get to know the kids better, while a few of my pals have come into the college as juniors, I don't have much time or scope to meet em up. So on the first day I am searching like a retard for my friend, going from class to class in search of him, I finally did find the junior section where my friend is studying, unfortunately he was not there. While I am leaving in a hurry to catch him at the canteen , a Sir calls me in from another class where presentations were on
"Karim, can you come here a second" , Sir says, in a hush hush tone
"Yes, sir?"
"Don't do anything", he tells me in a stern quite tone.
I laugh and tell him "Don't worry Sir, I am not ragging anyone, just searching for a friend"
The friend of mine who has joined is probably the biggest maagibaaz I know and the first thing he tells me is how he is friends with the hottest chick in the new batch who just happens to be muslim. Finally, I think, "Finally a hot chick who is muslim, maybe something good can come from this", so I meet with the friend outside the college and wouldn't you know it he introduces me to her, While we both exchanged Hello's , I was more focused on her "stats" while she didn't know what was going on, I didn't even get a good look at her face, dang it ,I could not come to a conclusion of her hotness but who cares, these interactions with females always end up like the skin on the faces of teenagers, not smooth at all.
Not smooth at all.
This post is me joining back after one year, especially after the end of the tumultuous and pathetic excuse of a summer internship I had, which did give me a lot of free time but certainly made me slog around like a whore trying to pay up to her pimp and I made more people upset than a man touching himself in front of a religious building.
Now everyone has completed their internship and its a norm to present what was done during this said 2 month job, companies are allotted randomly and people are treated like slaves to get shit work done. The first day of college starts and we get a nice lecture about how important the internship is and how much our presentation and word report counts as it could help us land some job.
Someone should have told me this before and then maybe I would have worked hard, anyways the day starts with more than half the students not coming to class, the few that did come got scared with a rumor floating about that presentations were to start today, hearing this a few more ran away, while I was safe in the knowledge that presentations cannot start today as we were not given a proper list of who is to present and when. Our presentations were to be completed a week back but still people have not even started their presentations.
While we are all laughing about what we did during our internship, our class door opens and 3 teachers walk in and while 2 of em were quite easy to deal with the 3rd one was "Ghajini" [read my earlier post about Ghajini]. The Sadist who knows more english than all the English combined was back and was he back with a vengeance. People were asked to volunteer and as usual no one would raise their hand, they did not want to get slaughtered on the first day of the 2nd year, while some people eventually did volunteer, I was forced to join along and I was supposed to be the 3rd presenter.
Ghajini was on a tear , asking people for their analysis reports of their work, he did not want the crap about the company profile and all. I had no analysis, hell I was made to work like a normal sales guy, no analysis at all. The Lord has funny ways to prove he is there, while all my friends know I could be in deep shit, just before I step up to present, ghajini leaves class and doesn't come back until after I am done.
After my presentation one of the teachers asked me
"What was your learning from this whole internship experience?"
I replied
"Ma'am, Office Politics and how to deal with em"
People laugh
Sir asks me
"Suppose Karim, you got selected in the company for a full time job....."
before he could complete his question I replied
"But Sir, we already told em we are not interested in the company or the job"
Laugh bitches laugh hard, I never lost the touch even after I was away for 3 months.
While my presentations went well enough, people got raped, proper rape, raped so hard like they show in those CSI shows where the person changes and probably will never be the same again, unable to express their feelings or talk to people for a few weeks or months, it was that bad during some presentations. I was snickering away like an arse not caring much for the sadistic rape that was occurring in front of my eyes, people were backing out of the presentations like asking for volunteers to work in Afghanistan.
Another thing apart from the internship is the presence of the new first years, cannon fodder in most colleges, ragging has completely been outlawed and rightly so, so now its called interaction sessions so that we get to know the kids better, while a few of my pals have come into the college as juniors, I don't have much time or scope to meet em up. So on the first day I am searching like a retard for my friend, going from class to class in search of him, I finally did find the junior section where my friend is studying, unfortunately he was not there. While I am leaving in a hurry to catch him at the canteen , a Sir calls me in from another class where presentations were on
"Karim, can you come here a second" , Sir says, in a hush hush tone
"Yes, sir?"
"Don't do anything", he tells me in a stern quite tone.
I laugh and tell him "Don't worry Sir, I am not ragging anyone, just searching for a friend"
The friend of mine who has joined is probably the biggest maagibaaz I know and the first thing he tells me is how he is friends with the hottest chick in the new batch who just happens to be muslim. Finally, I think, "Finally a hot chick who is muslim, maybe something good can come from this", so I meet with the friend outside the college and wouldn't you know it he introduces me to her, While we both exchanged Hello's , I was more focused on her "stats" while she didn't know what was going on, I didn't even get a good look at her face, dang it ,I could not come to a conclusion of her hotness but who cares, these interactions with females always end up like the skin on the faces of teenagers, not smooth at all.
Not smooth at all.
Monday, May 2, 2011
The Theory of Relativity
Almost 18 years ago , a certain Saiyed Adeem Karim started attending pre school, which was fun as the said lad had nothing much to do in school. Waste time away, play with a ton of toys, a little introduction of alphabets and numbers, nothing too strenuous.
School was not all that bad back then, it was fun , easy and most importantly fun, I know i put "fun" in twice, I can't remember what happened a few weeks ago let alone something that was almost 2 decades ago. The fact is that school was fun.
Then started the crap and oh dear lord how I started hating school, the homework , the heavy bag, the screwing me over with the timings, in Calcutta, school was from 7:30 AM till 1 PM, but in Dubai it was from 12:30 PM to 6:30 PM,my initial reaction was that of astonishment and resent as to how I would come back home on a regular basis after my dad and after the friggin sun sets.
Resentment, then came school in Calcutta , AGAIN, this time it was St Thomas Boys , most of the regular readers would know how much I was tormented and tortured during the initial years at STB and how I broke down into tears for the only time in my life due to some emotional crap that was thrown at me,when I was in STB , how much I missed the school in Dubai,Our Own English High School was heaven, literally and STB was hell, passing out of STB though was fun, I wont lie , STB taught me a lot and gave me my best friends, and of course taught me how to abuse ,kidderpore style.
Then came Techno India, college life promised so much and I ended up with almost 5% of what was promised, hot chicks? Nope, Cool Classes, BCA? WTF was I thinking?, Bunking? and go where? everything near college was miles away,Great Like minded FRIENDS?, just one, again I thank lord i found one of my best pals in this college as well,and now damn I missed STB and I still do , a lot, the only good thing to come out from the 3 years was Subhajit, one of my best pals and then the fact that I barely went to college in the 3rd year.
The came Globsyn, again I thank the lord I found my long lost brother here and a few brilliant friends, but again the whole MBA college being fun was a ton of crap and as usual I would have gone back to Techno India in a jiffy.
Now its summer internship time, first job of my life, and as usual the expectations don't match up to reality, work is hard, maybe because we are interns for like 2 months max but man work is hard, its barely enjoyable , although that could be because of the fact that I don't like working for real estate but still these 2 months are gonna be torturous there still is hope though as IF and a big IF I do go to an office or a job that I do like maybe life will be better and again as the topic says, life was better in the classrooms of GBS , the fun,madness and masti is totally missed.
Life often is portrayed in a different way and what we get is completely different , I always hated whatever institute I was in but as soon as I moved away from one place to another, the former place was always better than the latter, hence the theory of relativity proved!
Pre School > Primary School >STB >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> College life >College MBA life > Work?
Of course one thing I would like to point out,if I had a choice to go back to any of these phases,lets leave work out for the future, STB would be the one stage I would pick,that madness can and never will be repeated
STB STB!!
Jeet ke aaoge!
School was not all that bad back then, it was fun , easy and most importantly fun, I know i put "fun" in twice, I can't remember what happened a few weeks ago let alone something that was almost 2 decades ago. The fact is that school was fun.
Then started the crap and oh dear lord how I started hating school, the homework , the heavy bag, the screwing me over with the timings, in Calcutta, school was from 7:30 AM till 1 PM, but in Dubai it was from 12:30 PM to 6:30 PM,my initial reaction was that of astonishment and resent as to how I would come back home on a regular basis after my dad and after the friggin sun sets.
Resentment, then came school in Calcutta , AGAIN, this time it was St Thomas Boys , most of the regular readers would know how much I was tormented and tortured during the initial years at STB and how I broke down into tears for the only time in my life due to some emotional crap that was thrown at me,when I was in STB , how much I missed the school in Dubai,Our Own English High School was heaven, literally and STB was hell, passing out of STB though was fun, I wont lie , STB taught me a lot and gave me my best friends, and of course taught me how to abuse ,kidderpore style.
Then came Techno India, college life promised so much and I ended up with almost 5% of what was promised, hot chicks? Nope, Cool Classes, BCA? WTF was I thinking?, Bunking? and go where? everything near college was miles away,Great Like minded FRIENDS?, just one, again I thank lord i found one of my best pals in this college as well,and now damn I missed STB and I still do , a lot, the only good thing to come out from the 3 years was Subhajit, one of my best pals and then the fact that I barely went to college in the 3rd year.
The came Globsyn, again I thank the lord I found my long lost brother here and a few brilliant friends, but again the whole MBA college being fun was a ton of crap and as usual I would have gone back to Techno India in a jiffy.
Now its summer internship time, first job of my life, and as usual the expectations don't match up to reality, work is hard, maybe because we are interns for like 2 months max but man work is hard, its barely enjoyable , although that could be because of the fact that I don't like working for real estate but still these 2 months are gonna be torturous there still is hope though as IF and a big IF I do go to an office or a job that I do like maybe life will be better and again as the topic says, life was better in the classrooms of GBS , the fun,madness and masti is totally missed.
Life often is portrayed in a different way and what we get is completely different , I always hated whatever institute I was in but as soon as I moved away from one place to another, the former place was always better than the latter, hence the theory of relativity proved!
Pre School > Primary School >STB >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> College life >College MBA life > Work?
Of course one thing I would like to point out,if I had a choice to go back to any of these phases,lets leave work out for the future, STB would be the one stage I would pick,that madness can and never will be repeated
STB STB!!
Jeet ke aaoge!
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Ode to someone else's farewell part 2
To continue with the rest of the story,the show was to start from 5 Pm,after the seniors last exam,but before that our classes ended at around 3 PM,as we had to fix up the place for the show,while the others slogged around trying to get all the lighting and sound in place,most of the people like me , wasim etc stayed back in our cool air conditioned classroom trying to relax and enjoy the time.
Which meant that it was madness for the students in class,it started with this sudden urge to lift all the people,well at least the male population in our class,around 6-7 guys were all out hoisting people up for no reason at all,while in the adjacent room our seniors were celebrating their escape from the college,we were celebrating being alive and well. Catching hold of people ,assigning a limb to a member and lifting em up high was an easy task as most of the bongs here are like those children from the Unicef ad[no offence meant] but then we decided to do something no one dares do ever,lift the heaviest biggest guy in class,something like the Big Show he is,and 6 to 7 of us managed to do it,needless to say that guys reaction was "Why me? wait how??? no no i will fall,arrey arrey save me......"
Our only fear was not for the guys falling on their ass but the fact that we might damage our projector ,finally it was my turn,people picked me up and everything was going fine until a senior came into the room and shouted "BIRTHDAY BUMPS???? LEMME GO"
and wham wham wham,started kicking my ass and since i pissed a lot of people off a lot,no one even stopped him to let him know my birthday was at least another 10 days away,friends ,yeah good friends.
The clock struck 5 and we started moving downstairs to the place where we were to hold the show,and while the seniors were busy taking the seats we decided to have a good old photo op,taking crazy stances and all,like most kids do,while everyone was busy thinking about the seniors we were busy thinking about how stupid we could look on camera,easy for me always.
The show starts with the two hosts ,one with a crappy accent and the guy trying to act all cool and suave probably to get some maagis on his side,we had an introduction by our principal and then the madness began,while everyone wanted a marketing sir to say something,a proper freak like us,another group wanted another marketing sir to say something and started shouting his name out loud,"Aaaaa GGGGGGGGG AAAAAA GGGGGG",we got a whiff off this and started shouting even louder than the 2nd years,he did comply and said a few things which no one listened to.
The cultural events started and that was my queue along with my friends to go out because we knew the cultural events werent up to scratch , and spending time with me and my madness was much more fun than watching something on stage,while i am cracking jokes on Rahul,since he is in "laaaab" with the female host of the show,in fact every time she came on stage and started saying something or asking some question to the crowd we ended up shouting only one thing
"arrey RAAAAHHUUUULLLLL,Rahul is here!!!!"
all the time,every time she was on stage we screamed out Rahul's name,it became so bad that the guy walked out of the show and waited outside until we cooled it a bit.
When he did return they started giving out those lame awards that are given to the students like "Comedian of the college" which according to most people right now,i am a sure shot to win,including the teachers,"best couple" also is a probability for me to win and so on,so while female host shouts in her crummy accent
"why cant i hear some noise???"
i scream out "BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO SHORT"
silence and then people stare at me,but i dont care and i look the other way.
The next bit was something i can never forget and has damaged me right to my soul,my core is broken somehow,everyone probably has heard the Bryan Adams song "Summer of '69" which is a classic,this guy from our college who studies in another program thinks he is the greatest singer in the world and he gets a couple of guys to play along with him,while the guitarist is strumming up no one cane make out what the song is till the guy suddently starts blurting out in his crummy accent
"saamur of seeecksty naaaine"
most of us are left in awe as to how could he sing like this,and its not like he sings well also,its bad its fucking bad,plus he moves his feet like in inches,is stuck to the stage somehow and the only body part that does move is his pelvic like he is trying ti impregnate the entire crowd,but seeing what a lame dick he is probably his dick is also lame,well it cant be lamer than him.When the performance ended,no one clapped but rather there was stark silence as to how he could desecrate such a song without even a little bit of remorse.
Then there was the problem with dinner,the food was actually quite good,at least better than expected,but the main problem was that uninvited people were eating the dinner and as one girl told me "Is he from our college"
i replied "I dont know,who cares?"
She said,"Well you can go up to him and ask him if he is a senior or not"
i though "Yes and he will let me know,that he is not a senior and is here for free dinner",while we somehow dodged being the security during dinner,the main course was about to come.
Now most people in our college like this whole idea about a Dj playing music and people dancing their ass' off,i for one am not much of a proper dancer,my dancing skills are based on 2 moves,the pagla haath dance or the beedi dance aka the patang udana dance,so i was not expecting anyone to dance par se properly ,music starts lights on and then the real paglami starts.
While i am stuck to my two move arsenal,the most decent guy i have ever met in my life Prithwi,decides to dance and by dance i mean he would sell Mithun out of the park,Hrithik Roshan would have been left in awe and well any other dancer should just go hang themselves,the only person who actually could do what Prithwi did was the late great Michael Jackson,but lets not go there,Prithwi's movements and gestures mesmerized us all,almost every first year student stopped dancing and was gawking at the madness that is Prithwi,hell he wanted someone to accompany him in the moves,but none of us could even do 5% of what he was doing,thus totally destroying what even little image he had left.
While the night ended and seniors left the college for good,the one memory of Prithwi dancing his ass off shall never be forgotten
LOVE LIVE THE PRITHWI
LONG LIVE THE MITHUN
Monday, April 4, 2011
Ode to a someone else's farewell part 1
A sense of Deja vu is on the cards after reading the title, but i am not rehashing old blogs with new flavor and pizazz, this farewell was for our seniors in my college, GBS.
Now let me set the situation up, a few weeks back a group of students out of the 150 odd first year students were to meet the principal and a few other teachers,naturally my name was on the list and i thought ,bah another princi parent meeting is on the cards, but along with me were quite a few toppers from my section as well as other sections, so i knew something was up.
The principal came as well as a few teachers and they asked us if we knew why we were called here, we replied no .Then they said "You are all selected as members of the Students Council" apparently it was a hard decision to make as many students wanted to be a part but the teachers chose us,the lucky few as we are called,the biggest surprise everyone in class got was with my selection,as usual my life goes,so much potential but so little conversion,not that i care about all this.
So the first piece of business for us was to set up a farewell for the seniors,this was the first project of the NEW students council,and we were to set up the budget and the date of the farewell plus plan everything in the damn show within a week,including getting the collection[chanda/hafta] call it as you please.
Now credit is to be given where credit is due,this guy in my class,Naveen and Dinesh have a ton of experience in all these events and they set everything up perfectly,but we had proposed a budget of around 50000 Rs,which we all knew we would never get.
We decided that all of the 150 students should pay up around 300 bucks,again most students were reluctant to pay as we told the teachers in the council,then we all were given 10 students each to get the dough from,a lot of coaxing and threatening later most of the students from my class paid up,some didnt and we had no hesitation to complain about them,perfect,we got on every students' bad books even before i got a chance to abuse certain people's mom's,dad's and generations.That's my luck.
So after 3-4 days of mad collections and threatens we did get the money , we got roughly 35000 Rs, which was 10000 Rs more than we expected to get from the students.
Then comes the question as to who is to be the emcee of the show,since i have pretty good communication skills and acting skills , i was the frontrunner even before the so called auditions were to take place.Now you must understand i am not the kind of guy who wants to do things that i like ripping on,for example i don't want to be the emcee because i wont be able to enjoy the show,ie abuse the shit out of my friends and the emcee who is hosting the show,so while all the teachers expected me to be the emcee,i backed out,much to the disappointment of the communications ma'am,who again let me know a few days later, how much i let people down,the up side of all this,well i didnt get to be the emcee and one of the most hated students in the college became the emcee and it was she,who speaks in some freaky convulated mixed finnish,german,bulgarian,swedish accent.
The day comes for the show and as usual all the student members are to help in setting up the stage,which means i can bunk class and get attendance,however again a lot of people were there to help us out,in fact the people who werent part of the council were working their ass off to make it special for the seniors,while of course chutias like Raju would just walk about and act like they were doing something but he was like a lot of other students trying to act cool to impress the chicks,bloody maagas.
Streamers being lined up and me sticking the bits to people's backsides and all,snapping pictures and making a complete fool of everyone is just the way to set things up for the big show,of course my good pal wasim was with me,fooling around and a few other people were working hard,the one bit was our dear love couple of college Sohini and Mriganka[a freaking manc] who said they would prepare something for the seniors,half an hour goes by and then i decide to see what the hell they were doing,locating them was easy but after seeing what they did or didn't do i could guess what they did for half an hour,all the "did" was stick one and i repeat one freaking poster,what else they did before this,i guess we have some idea about.
This is a pretty long post,so i have to break it up,now i know the build up might not have been that great,but oh man,believe me the SHOW was freaking amazing,not because of the amazing quality of performances,but rather a performance,actually 2 performances i will never forget
1:A complete demolition and desecration of Bryan Adams,i will never look at the guy in the same way again
2:The Prithwi Dance,who said Prithwi cant dance saala
Now let me set the situation up, a few weeks back a group of students out of the 150 odd first year students were to meet the principal and a few other teachers,naturally my name was on the list and i thought ,bah another princi parent meeting is on the cards, but along with me were quite a few toppers from my section as well as other sections, so i knew something was up.
The principal came as well as a few teachers and they asked us if we knew why we were called here, we replied no .Then they said "You are all selected as members of the Students Council" apparently it was a hard decision to make as many students wanted to be a part but the teachers chose us,the lucky few as we are called,the biggest surprise everyone in class got was with my selection,as usual my life goes,so much potential but so little conversion,not that i care about all this.
So the first piece of business for us was to set up a farewell for the seniors,this was the first project of the NEW students council,and we were to set up the budget and the date of the farewell plus plan everything in the damn show within a week,including getting the collection[chanda/hafta] call it as you please.
Now credit is to be given where credit is due,this guy in my class,Naveen and Dinesh have a ton of experience in all these events and they set everything up perfectly,but we had proposed a budget of around 50000 Rs,which we all knew we would never get.
We decided that all of the 150 students should pay up around 300 bucks,again most students were reluctant to pay as we told the teachers in the council,then we all were given 10 students each to get the dough from,a lot of coaxing and threatening later most of the students from my class paid up,some didnt and we had no hesitation to complain about them,perfect,we got on every students' bad books even before i got a chance to abuse certain people's mom's,dad's and generations.That's my luck.
So after 3-4 days of mad collections and threatens we did get the money , we got roughly 35000 Rs, which was 10000 Rs more than we expected to get from the students.
Then comes the question as to who is to be the emcee of the show,since i have pretty good communication skills and acting skills , i was the frontrunner even before the so called auditions were to take place.Now you must understand i am not the kind of guy who wants to do things that i like ripping on,for example i don't want to be the emcee because i wont be able to enjoy the show,ie abuse the shit out of my friends and the emcee who is hosting the show,so while all the teachers expected me to be the emcee,i backed out,much to the disappointment of the communications ma'am,who again let me know a few days later, how much i let people down,the up side of all this,well i didnt get to be the emcee and one of the most hated students in the college became the emcee and it was she,who speaks in some freaky convulated mixed finnish,german,bulgarian,swedish accent.
The day comes for the show and as usual all the student members are to help in setting up the stage,which means i can bunk class and get attendance,however again a lot of people were there to help us out,in fact the people who werent part of the council were working their ass off to make it special for the seniors,while of course chutias like Raju would just walk about and act like they were doing something but he was like a lot of other students trying to act cool to impress the chicks,bloody maagas.
Streamers being lined up and me sticking the bits to people's backsides and all,snapping pictures and making a complete fool of everyone is just the way to set things up for the big show,of course my good pal wasim was with me,fooling around and a few other people were working hard,the one bit was our dear love couple of college Sohini and Mriganka[a freaking manc] who said they would prepare something for the seniors,half an hour goes by and then i decide to see what the hell they were doing,locating them was easy but after seeing what they did or didn't do i could guess what they did for half an hour,all the "did" was stick one and i repeat one freaking poster,what else they did before this,i guess we have some idea about.
This is a pretty long post,so i have to break it up,now i know the build up might not have been that great,but oh man,believe me the SHOW was freaking amazing,not because of the amazing quality of performances,but rather a performance,actually 2 performances i will never forget
1:A complete demolition and desecration of Bryan Adams,i will never look at the guy in the same way again
2:The Prithwi Dance,who said Prithwi cant dance saala
Sunday, April 3, 2011
What's my age again?
Progressing from school to college is never an easy task, nothing is supposed to be similar in both the environments, ie school and college.You leave all your friends and a comfort zone that you had built over the years to face something new and develop yourself, like a metamorphosis you come in as a teen and leave as an adult, learning new things about yourself ,all that is crap to be honest.
College is not the thing we see on tv, where you bunk as you like and that everyone in college is pretty and the professors are dumb and the lady professors are hot,well some are but that's not the point,the point i am trying to make is that everything more or less remains the same,its just that you pay much more as fees than you would in school.
One thing that somehow hasn't changed from my experiences in school and college is that all the teachers,professors and faculty members constantly rebuke the students for not acting their age,we are supposed to somehow act decent and disciplined and all that just because we have become 21 or something.
Our Eco sir in fact has constantly told us that "He was asked to join the institute and that it was his perception that he would be teaching students who are all post graduates and behave like post graduate students would,like probably in North America or any other part of the world"
then he observes our behavior for a few days and recently told us that he is not capable of handling us because he has not been trained to handle "kindergarten" students.
this sort of comment has been passed wherever i have been,as in education institutes,school,college,tutorials and now even during a PG course, but people don't learn,the teachers should know by now that I wont change,i will stay the freak that i am and i should also acknowledge the fact that growing up has no scope for me,the only thing that keeps me sane is the abuses,comments,jokes,sexual references, irritating people etc, while a fear does exist as to what kind of employee i would be in a few weeks time for some company , i do still believe i will enjoy myself by being the crazy lunatic that i am,and i am fooking proud of it,at least i am better than those maagas.
With all these people telling me to grow up and me being on a charge wanting not to grow up,while i enter the lift of my building a couple of days back an 8 year old kid enters the lift , looks at me and tells me
"Can you tell me what the time is ,please UNCLE"
And that is when a part of my world shatters,now i know,even if i do behave like i do,which in some circles would and probably should land me in jail or in a psych ward,i know that I have grown,not mentally just physically
College is not the thing we see on tv, where you bunk as you like and that everyone in college is pretty and the professors are dumb and the lady professors are hot,well some are but that's not the point,the point i am trying to make is that everything more or less remains the same,its just that you pay much more as fees than you would in school.
One thing that somehow hasn't changed from my experiences in school and college is that all the teachers,professors and faculty members constantly rebuke the students for not acting their age,we are supposed to somehow act decent and disciplined and all that just because we have become 21 or something.
Our Eco sir in fact has constantly told us that "He was asked to join the institute and that it was his perception that he would be teaching students who are all post graduates and behave like post graduate students would,like probably in North America or any other part of the world"
then he observes our behavior for a few days and recently told us that he is not capable of handling us because he has not been trained to handle "kindergarten" students.
this sort of comment has been passed wherever i have been,as in education institutes,school,college,tutorials and now even during a PG course, but people don't learn,the teachers should know by now that I wont change,i will stay the freak that i am and i should also acknowledge the fact that growing up has no scope for me,the only thing that keeps me sane is the abuses,comments,jokes,sexual references, irritating people etc, while a fear does exist as to what kind of employee i would be in a few weeks time for some company , i do still believe i will enjoy myself by being the crazy lunatic that i am,and i am fooking proud of it,at least i am better than those maagas.
With all these people telling me to grow up and me being on a charge wanting not to grow up,while i enter the lift of my building a couple of days back an 8 year old kid enters the lift , looks at me and tells me
"Can you tell me what the time is ,please UNCLE"
And that is when a part of my world shatters,now i know,even if i do behave like i do,which in some circles would and probably should land me in jail or in a psych ward,i know that I have grown,not mentally just physically
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Suspension Tension
Since i always start any of my blogs of by knocking off any conceptions you would have about the topic in the beginning itself, this time around it isnt the same, what i write as the blog topic is what i am going to talk about and not about the strength of suspenders or slacks
So let me start off with a prelude to what led to the unfortunate "suspension", we are lucky enough to have corporate connects , ie people from different companies come and lecture us about how the real conditions of work are and how things are actually done in a corporate and we are all very happy at the fact that we get such amounts of experience but some of the faculty who come are very knowledgeable and some just infuriate the shit out of us, well especially me.
Here is one such example where a visiting professor from a college in calcutta came to talk about green technology and well why we should apply "greenology" while we decide on factories and all and said "The reason why we are losing our natural resources so fast and cannot be sustainable is because of overpopulation that too of the Muslim nations like Malaysia and Indonesia"
Umm wait what?
India is more populous than both countries combined including the density of population, even china is more populated hell man south american countries are much more densely populated than India but hell he must blame the Musalman
So some of these sessions are a waste and especially if a session is at the last period the teacher would just go on and on and on and make us wait till 6 PM which means i would reach home by around 8 PM, this was something i was not looking forward to recently when we were told of another corporate connect on wednesday but as usual we decided on the last minute not to attend the session as it was the last class of the day and we knew it would be a drag.
So all me best 5 buddies from college decided to bunk the session little did we know what that had in store for us the next day,as we left college Wasim kept on saying even before our leaving the place
"Bhai aaj nahin karega toh bamboo parega", but as usual i didnt pay attention to his words, no one did but that ass's black tongue got us yet again.
So as we leave we see that almost 70 students arent attending the session but only 11 did ,oh well we though , this has happened before and all,the next day we reach college as usual and nothing seems out of the ordinary we had come up with a few excuses as to why we werent in the seminar but nothing too serious or anything, as soon as our first class was to start the Registrar came in and told all the people who attended the last session to go to another class and told the rest of us ie the majority of the class that
"Classes are suspended without any notice and you all must leave the campus in 5 minutes and we will take a decision after your parents call us"
Baaam panic and pandemonium strike because no one wants their parents to get involved, i dont care as i have a perfect record in everything in college and my parents know about all that i do in and out of college so a parents call is the least of my worries while most people are shit scared i have a wry smile on my face
"Chal at least i get a few days off"
Sir tells us to call the college at either 5 PM or before 10 AM the next day,so while we all leave i decide to call me mom and while i am laughing hard i some how blabber out that i have been suspended , now had i not been a STB student or had this been my first suspension my mom would have gone berserk but obviously she
didnt and rather than asking "WHY did you get suspended? She asked Well for how many days are you suspended?"
I was sure of a few days but even more funny was watching the creation of little factions of students who were plotting as to how to go about this problem whether to go and ask for forgiveness or to start a strike or to go and sit in class and hope for the best, 30 minutes later the same people are still waiting to do something, rather than do something on their own they want someone else to take the first step , no one did.
I decided no point in staying over and we all went back home, where i called me dad up and told him the situation and also the fact that i havent bunked any class and all and in fact this was the first seminar i had actually bunked and also told him to keep calm and not murder or obliterate someone over the phone like he normally can and mostly does on a regular basis. so he does call up the people and gives em a lashing as well about how his time was wasted while he was made to hold the phone and all but even he wasnt pissed off at me because well it wasnt my fault that i got suspended and i didnt get suspended alone it was just a way to shake up the students and you know make sure the parents know about what is happening here , not a bad move but the thing that really ticked me off more than the suspension was
The fact that it wasnt a suspension at all,one day off and then baaam we are to go back to college the next day?
Dammit i thought for sure i was to get a good old long weekend,friday off as well but as usual my luck is not as good as it could be and i had to report back to class the next day itself and everything was back to normal, no tension in the air and nothing, after all the melodrama and all that happened the previous day,the factions being made, the abuses being thrown the people getting shit scared about their parents call , it was back to normal again the next day
I mean i know i wouldnt get proper suspension like a month or something here but come on we all needed a break and a few days off from here wouldnt be the worst thing in the world, am sure even the teachers would have like a bit of peace and tranquility away from the students and their stupid ideas and questions, i know i would have loved it.
So let me start off with a prelude to what led to the unfortunate "suspension", we are lucky enough to have corporate connects , ie people from different companies come and lecture us about how the real conditions of work are and how things are actually done in a corporate and we are all very happy at the fact that we get such amounts of experience but some of the faculty who come are very knowledgeable and some just infuriate the shit out of us, well especially me.
Here is one such example where a visiting professor from a college in calcutta came to talk about green technology and well why we should apply "greenology" while we decide on factories and all and said "The reason why we are losing our natural resources so fast and cannot be sustainable is because of overpopulation that too of the Muslim nations like Malaysia and Indonesia"
Umm wait what?
India is more populous than both countries combined including the density of population, even china is more populated hell man south american countries are much more densely populated than India but hell he must blame the Musalman
So some of these sessions are a waste and especially if a session is at the last period the teacher would just go on and on and on and make us wait till 6 PM which means i would reach home by around 8 PM, this was something i was not looking forward to recently when we were told of another corporate connect on wednesday but as usual we decided on the last minute not to attend the session as it was the last class of the day and we knew it would be a drag.
So all me best 5 buddies from college decided to bunk the session little did we know what that had in store for us the next day,as we left college Wasim kept on saying even before our leaving the place
"Bhai aaj nahin karega toh bamboo parega", but as usual i didnt pay attention to his words, no one did but that ass's black tongue got us yet again.
So as we leave we see that almost 70 students arent attending the session but only 11 did ,oh well we though , this has happened before and all,the next day we reach college as usual and nothing seems out of the ordinary we had come up with a few excuses as to why we werent in the seminar but nothing too serious or anything, as soon as our first class was to start the Registrar came in and told all the people who attended the last session to go to another class and told the rest of us ie the majority of the class that
"Classes are suspended without any notice and you all must leave the campus in 5 minutes and we will take a decision after your parents call us"
Baaam panic and pandemonium strike because no one wants their parents to get involved, i dont care as i have a perfect record in everything in college and my parents know about all that i do in and out of college so a parents call is the least of my worries while most people are shit scared i have a wry smile on my face
"Chal at least i get a few days off"
Sir tells us to call the college at either 5 PM or before 10 AM the next day,so while we all leave i decide to call me mom and while i am laughing hard i some how blabber out that i have been suspended , now had i not been a STB student or had this been my first suspension my mom would have gone berserk but obviously she
didnt and rather than asking "WHY did you get suspended? She asked Well for how many days are you suspended?"
I was sure of a few days but even more funny was watching the creation of little factions of students who were plotting as to how to go about this problem whether to go and ask for forgiveness or to start a strike or to go and sit in class and hope for the best, 30 minutes later the same people are still waiting to do something, rather than do something on their own they want someone else to take the first step , no one did.
I decided no point in staying over and we all went back home, where i called me dad up and told him the situation and also the fact that i havent bunked any class and all and in fact this was the first seminar i had actually bunked and also told him to keep calm and not murder or obliterate someone over the phone like he normally can and mostly does on a regular basis. so he does call up the people and gives em a lashing as well about how his time was wasted while he was made to hold the phone and all but even he wasnt pissed off at me because well it wasnt my fault that i got suspended and i didnt get suspended alone it was just a way to shake up the students and you know make sure the parents know about what is happening here , not a bad move but the thing that really ticked me off more than the suspension was
The fact that it wasnt a suspension at all,one day off and then baaam we are to go back to college the next day?
Dammit i thought for sure i was to get a good old long weekend,friday off as well but as usual my luck is not as good as it could be and i had to report back to class the next day itself and everything was back to normal, no tension in the air and nothing, after all the melodrama and all that happened the previous day,the factions being made, the abuses being thrown the people getting shit scared about their parents call , it was back to normal again the next day
I mean i know i wouldnt get proper suspension like a month or something here but come on we all needed a break and a few days off from here wouldnt be the worst thing in the world, am sure even the teachers would have like a bit of peace and tranquility away from the students and their stupid ideas and questions, i know i would have loved it.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
There always are a few....
I am massively thankful to the Lord above for gifting me with a ton of great pals, online and offline , who all can take my stupidity and abusiveness and throw it back at me when required or when it aint required.
Normally i dont actually HATE people,there are certain people i dont like but sure as hell hate isnt a word that i use so much, well barring a few football related people like Benayoun or Torres or Gaynaldo, Hate is a pretty strong word to use to describe how you feel about a person, but the Lord above didnt create the heavens with out hell and didnt create angels without of course the devil and demons and Cerberus of course.
So while i have the brilliant side of friends i must have a side of people i dont like and that too was limited to one or two people in my 21 years of existence so far,somehow both of em were muslim, now dont go calling me a racist , i am a muslim as well but thats not the point lets just say i hated these people and not muslims but these 2 guys.
So when i joined a brand new college i was having the idea that there are gonna be a ton of overzealous students who would be studying fighting hard to be the best and prepare themselves for the hard corporate life,that was far from what i got to see in this college, there are idiots and there are freaks and there are idiotic freaks who dont know what to do even though they are 20 years plus.
Take one such example of a dude called Suvodeep,the freak wont write squat when the faculty is delivering a lecture and as soon as I or whoever is sitting next to him writes or starts writing , right when you are in the flow he comes in with his idiotic tone and says
"Hey.....yeh kya hai?,kya likh raha hai"
All the fucking time he does this,once we were made to sit in groups for Quantitative methods class and we were asked to write our weights down on a piece of paper, no names just our weights so in our group everyone was putting their weights down, people laughed at my 85 kgs but i dont need to lie about squat, i then turned to suvodeep and asked him
"What's your weight?"
Suvodeep:Kuch bhi likh de na
ME:Abey kuch toh bol,how the fuck will i know whats your weight?
now let me put this in context,he is a guy who is almost 6 feet tall and is 20+ years plus he has had schooling till at least graduation,which means roughly 15 years of education at least and the stupid bum replies
Suvodeep:ok write down 30 KGS
unbelievable ,30 kgs? fucking hell what the hell man ,fucking idiot.Nuff said you would think
So i replied "What the fuck are you smoking man?,you snorting some shit kya? you snorting coke?"
Then i remembered his stupidity and explained,before he would take it to another level of idiocy
"Coke as in thums up you freak,because you probably dont know what cocaine is,go snort thumbs up you idiot"
Of course he isnt the worst of the lot in this college, there is the great Bhatti who seems to have had some sort of experience in everything that has been done in the field of humanity .No matter what is being taught , be it operations management,accounting,HR,IT,marketing,Quantitative techniques, economics, he has gone and been through it all and actually has a live example as well which includes him.
Like for example one of our communication sir's ,Chats sir asked us to share the saddest moment of your life, now no one wants to share something that is so personal but then again we have our bhati, he goes
"Sir i was working in a tunnel and i was supposed to put a rod in a certain place , so me and my colleague were trying to put the rod in and it had to be done at a certain time but we didnt look at the time and we put it in at the wrong time and the rod started shaking violently"
Now i would like to pause and let people know that in this sort of case what each of us were thinking was
"Damn you Bhati,that rod must have come out and pierced someone or killed something"
as bhati continues
"The rod was shaking so violently,i was so scared and my supervisor scolded me, THAT is the saddest moment of my life"
Bloody chut, hell a group of students started calling him bharwa and thats what we shall call him from now on.
Then there are the Db's,Doodh bhat's as Wasim named em, a couple of chicks who are sadist and think they know everything,no matter what the subject is and the fact is they enjoy trying to act smart and make others look stupid.
There is a sort of understand between us students that when one group is presenting the other group will not ask any hard questions at all,hell we dont even ask any question as we dont wanna make em feel inadequate about the presentation but the Db's wont allow that ,they constantly keep on pestering students and teachers about how much they know and how much others dont.
Plus the fact that somehow now they have started wearing make up and looking like whores doesnt seem to help the fact that they might be the most hated bunch of students in college , even more hated than i am.
One such case,in accounts class most people were talking and when the first Db looked back at someone who made a comment ,sir got pissed and was looking at her trying to tell her to stop talking
She replied "But sir you are ALWAYS staring at me"
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha
Poor sir was so embarrassed , we are laughing so hard damn it,hahahahahaha
she almost accused sir of being a voyeur , infact that is what she did,hahahahahahahahahaha sir had to come to her rescue and said
"Slip of the tongue,slip of the tongue"
hahahahahaha idiotic DB
of course i myself am an idiot trying to be friendly to people like suvodeep,our college tries to make sure everyone pays their fees at the proper dat so...
Suvodeep:Adeem,fees ka last date kya hai?
ME:today
Suvodeep:shit
Me:Kya hua ,didnt you know that?
Suvodeep:No,but what will happen if i dont pay?
ME:Chutia,everyone is paying it what the fuck is wrong with you? they will kcik you out of college probably after taking a late fee,what the fuck are you high? you smoking marijuana? or you snorting thumbs up again you chut?
Didnt you pay it on time?
Suvodeep:Nah i paid it,i was just finding out what would happen?
Me:Chutia
Suvodeep:arrey gaali kyu de raha hai?
Me:Nahin,I am chutia fucking hell,hum chutia hai
Chutia saala jhandu kahin ka :X
Normally i dont actually HATE people,there are certain people i dont like but sure as hell hate isnt a word that i use so much, well barring a few football related people like Benayoun or Torres or Gaynaldo, Hate is a pretty strong word to use to describe how you feel about a person, but the Lord above didnt create the heavens with out hell and didnt create angels without of course the devil and demons and Cerberus of course.
So while i have the brilliant side of friends i must have a side of people i dont like and that too was limited to one or two people in my 21 years of existence so far,somehow both of em were muslim, now dont go calling me a racist , i am a muslim as well but thats not the point lets just say i hated these people and not muslims but these 2 guys.
So when i joined a brand new college i was having the idea that there are gonna be a ton of overzealous students who would be studying fighting hard to be the best and prepare themselves for the hard corporate life,that was far from what i got to see in this college, there are idiots and there are freaks and there are idiotic freaks who dont know what to do even though they are 20 years plus.
Take one such example of a dude called Suvodeep,the freak wont write squat when the faculty is delivering a lecture and as soon as I or whoever is sitting next to him writes or starts writing , right when you are in the flow he comes in with his idiotic tone and says
"Hey.....yeh kya hai?,kya likh raha hai"
All the fucking time he does this,once we were made to sit in groups for Quantitative methods class and we were asked to write our weights down on a piece of paper, no names just our weights so in our group everyone was putting their weights down, people laughed at my 85 kgs but i dont need to lie about squat, i then turned to suvodeep and asked him
"What's your weight?"
Suvodeep:Kuch bhi likh de na
ME:Abey kuch toh bol,how the fuck will i know whats your weight?
now let me put this in context,he is a guy who is almost 6 feet tall and is 20+ years plus he has had schooling till at least graduation,which means roughly 15 years of education at least and the stupid bum replies
Suvodeep:ok write down 30 KGS
unbelievable ,30 kgs? fucking hell what the hell man ,fucking idiot.Nuff said you would think
So i replied "What the fuck are you smoking man?,you snorting some shit kya? you snorting coke?"
Then i remembered his stupidity and explained,before he would take it to another level of idiocy
"Coke as in thums up you freak,because you probably dont know what cocaine is,go snort thumbs up you idiot"
Of course he isnt the worst of the lot in this college, there is the great Bhatti who seems to have had some sort of experience in everything that has been done in the field of humanity .No matter what is being taught , be it operations management,accounting,HR,IT,marketing,Quantitative techniques, economics, he has gone and been through it all and actually has a live example as well which includes him.
Like for example one of our communication sir's ,Chats sir asked us to share the saddest moment of your life, now no one wants to share something that is so personal but then again we have our bhati, he goes
"Sir i was working in a tunnel and i was supposed to put a rod in a certain place , so me and my colleague were trying to put the rod in and it had to be done at a certain time but we didnt look at the time and we put it in at the wrong time and the rod started shaking violently"
Now i would like to pause and let people know that in this sort of case what each of us were thinking was
"Damn you Bhati,that rod must have come out and pierced someone or killed something"
as bhati continues
"The rod was shaking so violently,i was so scared and my supervisor scolded me, THAT is the saddest moment of my life"
Bloody chut, hell a group of students started calling him bharwa and thats what we shall call him from now on.
Then there are the Db's,Doodh bhat's as Wasim named em, a couple of chicks who are sadist and think they know everything,no matter what the subject is and the fact is they enjoy trying to act smart and make others look stupid.
There is a sort of understand between us students that when one group is presenting the other group will not ask any hard questions at all,hell we dont even ask any question as we dont wanna make em feel inadequate about the presentation but the Db's wont allow that ,they constantly keep on pestering students and teachers about how much they know and how much others dont.
Plus the fact that somehow now they have started wearing make up and looking like whores doesnt seem to help the fact that they might be the most hated bunch of students in college , even more hated than i am.
One such case,in accounts class most people were talking and when the first Db looked back at someone who made a comment ,sir got pissed and was looking at her trying to tell her to stop talking
She replied "But sir you are ALWAYS staring at me"
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha
Poor sir was so embarrassed , we are laughing so hard damn it,hahahahahaha
she almost accused sir of being a voyeur , infact that is what she did,hahahahahahahahahaha sir had to come to her rescue and said
"Slip of the tongue,slip of the tongue"
hahahahahaha idiotic DB
of course i myself am an idiot trying to be friendly to people like suvodeep,our college tries to make sure everyone pays their fees at the proper dat so...
Suvodeep:Adeem,fees ka last date kya hai?
ME:today
Suvodeep:shit
Me:Kya hua ,didnt you know that?
Suvodeep:No,but what will happen if i dont pay?
ME:Chutia,everyone is paying it what the fuck is wrong with you? they will kcik you out of college probably after taking a late fee,what the fuck are you high? you smoking marijuana? or you snorting thumbs up again you chut?
Didnt you pay it on time?
Suvodeep:Nah i paid it,i was just finding out what would happen?
Me:Chutia
Suvodeep:arrey gaali kyu de raha hai?
Me:Nahin,I am chutia fucking hell,hum chutia hai
Chutia saala jhandu kahin ka :X
Friday, February 25, 2011
Holy Unlawfullness
Firstly i would like to thank a pal of mine, known as Blue Phantom aka Santosh , its coz of him that i decided to blog rather than wank or play fifa for around 20 mins.
Now back to the good stuff, ever since i joined my MBA college i have been bombarded by a ton of different subjects , some of which i am brilliant in like Quantitative techniques while in others only the Lord knows how i do pass ie Accounts etc but all these subjects being brought in every 3 months has been leading me to a newer edge of insanity but thanks to a ton of new pals in my college , life so far has been a breeze
firstly i got my brother from another mother,chorwa aka wasim,barring the fact that he likes cricket and i like football and that he listens to indian music while i listen to english music , we have got tons in common , and while people say crap like
"You make friends after a long time " and " true friendship takes time to build"
we were THE BEST OF FRIENDS from the first day we met at the college during our introduction date ie 13th july 2010
Oh and even though he topped our year in the 1st term , the bangaliness hasnt come out in him YET
Then we have pagli aka swati, one of my few chick friends, so you can pretty much guys she aint a normal chick and well apart from the fact that she is a tomboy and beats all the guys up in class including me , she is bloody brilliant in presentation making and in anything related to accounts and commerce.
Then there is Mood swing aka Rahul who has more mood swings in one day than a 20 year old chick with a lot of period problems , and the freak has got the mouth of a loudspeaker,fucking idiot gets us into trouble so many times its unbelievable
and finally the final piece in our jigsaw so far has been Nangto[the nude one] aka Prithwi,quite possible the most decent person i may have come across ever since i came back from Dubai,Its unbelievable as to how a person cannot be corrupted by a soul like mine,
now all the said members here can take a joke and throw a good one as well and i believed that i may be the worst and corrupted person in class who makes life a living hell for everyone which includes some colorful characters like mriganko[the fucking manc with 4 names and is the slowest person in the class in terms of speaking], raju [the guy who gets eternally pawned every single day by every body in class EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY] and a few others as well,who all have a story stuffed with me abusing the day lights out of em, but this isnt about them, this is about the other side of the class, that is the other section the one i am NOT IN
now every teacher we have come across has told us that our section B is miles better than section A
"Your class is full of students who actually study while all the time more than half the class in the other section is absent"
Now one teacher saying it is fine but almost the entire faculty saying this was freaky ,so today we section B students got the privilege of having a joint class with em, it was a special Business Law class with a guest faculty and while the faculty coming is a freak himself ,filling the class with jokes and the like, today i finally saw why people never complained much about my class or even my group's behavior
The poor bloke who came to teach at 10 in the morning ended up by taking a class double the size he was supposed to filled with idiots who were constantly chattering away no matter what sir tried to do,there was actually a time i felt sorry for him,yeah i felt sorry for a teacher,second time ever in my life.
And the chuts in class were so full of themselves that they were leaving the class and re entering as they pleased ,almost as if sir didnt exist,sir actually had to pick up people and threaten em with dire consequences, a freaking visiting faculty member had to actually threaten people who were above 21 years old and he didnt have to pick anyone from our class up,it was a sad sad sight and unbelievably most of us wanted to get up and beat the shit out of the Sec A guys
now dont go on saying that i have become a geek and all , for this sir fills his class with double meaning ,fills it with jokes and the likes and this is how a faculty member was treated when he was liked,no wonder people hate to teach in Sec A,they shouldnt even be in such a class ,hell they dont deserve any education at all.
Now back to the good stuff, ever since i joined my MBA college i have been bombarded by a ton of different subjects , some of which i am brilliant in like Quantitative techniques while in others only the Lord knows how i do pass ie Accounts etc but all these subjects being brought in every 3 months has been leading me to a newer edge of insanity but thanks to a ton of new pals in my college , life so far has been a breeze
firstly i got my brother from another mother,chorwa aka wasim,barring the fact that he likes cricket and i like football and that he listens to indian music while i listen to english music , we have got tons in common , and while people say crap like
"You make friends after a long time " and " true friendship takes time to build"
we were THE BEST OF FRIENDS from the first day we met at the college during our introduction date ie 13th july 2010
Oh and even though he topped our year in the 1st term , the bangaliness hasnt come out in him YET
Then we have pagli aka swati, one of my few chick friends, so you can pretty much guys she aint a normal chick and well apart from the fact that she is a tomboy and beats all the guys up in class including me , she is bloody brilliant in presentation making and in anything related to accounts and commerce.
Then there is Mood swing aka Rahul who has more mood swings in one day than a 20 year old chick with a lot of period problems , and the freak has got the mouth of a loudspeaker,fucking idiot gets us into trouble so many times its unbelievable
and finally the final piece in our jigsaw so far has been Nangto[the nude one] aka Prithwi,quite possible the most decent person i may have come across ever since i came back from Dubai,Its unbelievable as to how a person cannot be corrupted by a soul like mine,
now all the said members here can take a joke and throw a good one as well and i believed that i may be the worst and corrupted person in class who makes life a living hell for everyone which includes some colorful characters like mriganko[the fucking manc with 4 names and is the slowest person in the class in terms of speaking], raju [the guy who gets eternally pawned every single day by every body in class EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY] and a few others as well,who all have a story stuffed with me abusing the day lights out of em, but this isnt about them, this is about the other side of the class, that is the other section the one i am NOT IN
now every teacher we have come across has told us that our section B is miles better than section A
"Your class is full of students who actually study while all the time more than half the class in the other section is absent"
Now one teacher saying it is fine but almost the entire faculty saying this was freaky ,so today we section B students got the privilege of having a joint class with em, it was a special Business Law class with a guest faculty and while the faculty coming is a freak himself ,filling the class with jokes and the like, today i finally saw why people never complained much about my class or even my group's behavior
The poor bloke who came to teach at 10 in the morning ended up by taking a class double the size he was supposed to filled with idiots who were constantly chattering away no matter what sir tried to do,there was actually a time i felt sorry for him,yeah i felt sorry for a teacher,second time ever in my life.
And the chuts in class were so full of themselves that they were leaving the class and re entering as they pleased ,almost as if sir didnt exist,sir actually had to pick up people and threaten em with dire consequences, a freaking visiting faculty member had to actually threaten people who were above 21 years old and he didnt have to pick anyone from our class up,it was a sad sad sight and unbelievably most of us wanted to get up and beat the shit out of the Sec A guys
now dont go on saying that i have become a geek and all , for this sir fills his class with double meaning ,fills it with jokes and the likes and this is how a faculty member was treated when he was liked,no wonder people hate to teach in Sec A,they shouldnt even be in such a class ,hell they dont deserve any education at all.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Ghajini
Dont react,this isnt a review/preview/article about the movie Ghajini,i dont have time to watch em stupid hindi flicks,exceptions are always there.
This blog post is about one of the many teachers we have at Globsyn,you know my new B school[ooooooo aaaaaah],now Ghajini ,our Stats prof,has short hair like Aamir khan in the movie Ghajini,speaks in an accent with is both british as well as american and is short like Aamir Khan,not only that but he instills fear in us,he probably is the only person we students are scared off and the only teacher who actually gets respect because of the greatest emotion in the world,not love you fucktard hippies,but fear.
The first class we had with the Prof,he came in,told us to sit in groups and that we had to make a 10 minute presentation on a topic that he would give,since it was our 2nd week in college and we barely knew one another,as usual with us indians,panic and pandemonium got us,everyone is freaking losing their hair,sweating etc,while the guy is seated behind with another teacher,just enjoying the carnage that is set infront of him,sadist.
Not only that he was marking us for the term already in our first class and was cutting marks off if anyone from the group was talking,or when someone had a laptop on while a group was giving the presentation,he confiscated it,thats not the worst bit,he holds the laptop by the screen and chucks em one on top of the other.
Oh and he was also making snide remarks at the groups making presentations
"Look look,that guy is acting like he is an Emcee ,hahahahahahaha"
Sick.
Another day ,during some other sir's class he pops in and tells us to make a 30 minute presentation on Mean,Median,Mode,30 minutes?
damn we havent made a presentation for like 5 minutes,nevertheless he did ask one chick to give the presentation,that said chick was sitting behind me,when he pointed her out,i got goosebumps thinking he picked me up,but that wasnt a relief of any sorts as we shall see.
2 weeks ago the same guy came in and asked us to make a presentation on regression analysis and the like,so again off all of us got tense,the first thing i did when i got home was open my Stats for Managers book and open the regression chapter.
Fucking hell i couldnt understand one bit,barring the basic regression equation,i didnt even make a presentation for it,rather was calling me pals up if they understood what the hell the rest of the chapter is about,after all Ghajini asked us to make a 15 minute presentation for it,somehow i wrote some stuff in a book ,i took some pills as i wasnt well and went off to bed at midnite.
Next morning doom and gloom is the word i would use,now i should have learnt that it always rains when i dont want it to,similarly this one day i did not carry an umbrella with me and i was standing in a queue for the bus,not only was the fucking bus late by 20 minutes,i got completely drenched,plus i already had a temperature and a cold,perfect way to start the day,and its only 8 AM
The bus ride is an hour long and i got pelvic thrusts from wet men,fuck it,my shirt wasnt drying any soon,i my hair was a complete wet mess,rather than being a complete mess that it usually is,i reach college,sit down for a few minutes and anxiously chat with me pals about the chapter.
Barely did i sit down ,the Ghajini walks in as it was 9:45,schedule class time,i sit,am nervous,am wet,am cold,AC is on,and Ghajini says
"I hope you all have come prepared with your presentations,be it a PPT or you can use the board.....Any volunteers?"
No one raises their hand for this bit,its like asking someone to confess for murder ,so he goes
"Fine ,i will pick someone,YOU"
Fuck it,its me,i look behind me hoping he picked someone else,but damn it its me.
I get up as a nervous wreck but by the grace of God i Jeet ke Aagaye in the presentation bit,Ghajini himself said
"A brilliant job,i think he deserves a round of applause",of course in between the presentation i had to answer some questions and as usual a certain Bhati had some questions rather experiences and "something more to add",but leaving that aside it was a pretty nerve racking experience.
Now that i have survived the Ghajini,my fear of presentations are over and for some stupid reason everyone believes i am the best student for stats or as the college calls the subject "Quantitative Methods",i dont care about all that.
All i care about is that i Jeet Ke Aagaye!
This blog post is about one of the many teachers we have at Globsyn,you know my new B school[ooooooo aaaaaah],now Ghajini ,our Stats prof,has short hair like Aamir khan in the movie Ghajini,speaks in an accent with is both british as well as american and is short like Aamir Khan,not only that but he instills fear in us,he probably is the only person we students are scared off and the only teacher who actually gets respect because of the greatest emotion in the world,not love you fucktard hippies,but fear.
The first class we had with the Prof,he came in,told us to sit in groups and that we had to make a 10 minute presentation on a topic that he would give,since it was our 2nd week in college and we barely knew one another,as usual with us indians,panic and pandemonium got us,everyone is freaking losing their hair,sweating etc,while the guy is seated behind with another teacher,just enjoying the carnage that is set infront of him,sadist.
Not only that he was marking us for the term already in our first class and was cutting marks off if anyone from the group was talking,or when someone had a laptop on while a group was giving the presentation,he confiscated it,thats not the worst bit,he holds the laptop by the screen and chucks em one on top of the other.
Oh and he was also making snide remarks at the groups making presentations
"Look look,that guy is acting like he is an Emcee ,hahahahahahaha"
Sick.
Another day ,during some other sir's class he pops in and tells us to make a 30 minute presentation on Mean,Median,Mode,30 minutes?
damn we havent made a presentation for like 5 minutes,nevertheless he did ask one chick to give the presentation,that said chick was sitting behind me,when he pointed her out,i got goosebumps thinking he picked me up,but that wasnt a relief of any sorts as we shall see.
2 weeks ago the same guy came in and asked us to make a presentation on regression analysis and the like,so again off all of us got tense,the first thing i did when i got home was open my Stats for Managers book and open the regression chapter.
Fucking hell i couldnt understand one bit,barring the basic regression equation,i didnt even make a presentation for it,rather was calling me pals up if they understood what the hell the rest of the chapter is about,after all Ghajini asked us to make a 15 minute presentation for it,somehow i wrote some stuff in a book ,i took some pills as i wasnt well and went off to bed at midnite.
Next morning doom and gloom is the word i would use,now i should have learnt that it always rains when i dont want it to,similarly this one day i did not carry an umbrella with me and i was standing in a queue for the bus,not only was the fucking bus late by 20 minutes,i got completely drenched,plus i already had a temperature and a cold,perfect way to start the day,and its only 8 AM
The bus ride is an hour long and i got pelvic thrusts from wet men,fuck it,my shirt wasnt drying any soon,i my hair was a complete wet mess,rather than being a complete mess that it usually is,i reach college,sit down for a few minutes and anxiously chat with me pals about the chapter.
Barely did i sit down ,the Ghajini walks in as it was 9:45,schedule class time,i sit,am nervous,am wet,am cold,AC is on,and Ghajini says
"I hope you all have come prepared with your presentations,be it a PPT or you can use the board.....Any volunteers?"
No one raises their hand for this bit,its like asking someone to confess for murder ,so he goes
"Fine ,i will pick someone,YOU"
Fuck it,its me,i look behind me hoping he picked someone else,but damn it its me.
I get up as a nervous wreck but by the grace of God i Jeet ke Aagaye in the presentation bit,Ghajini himself said
"A brilliant job,i think he deserves a round of applause",of course in between the presentation i had to answer some questions and as usual a certain Bhati had some questions rather experiences and "something more to add",but leaving that aside it was a pretty nerve racking experience.
Now that i have survived the Ghajini,my fear of presentations are over and for some stupid reason everyone believes i am the best student for stats or as the college calls the subject "Quantitative Methods",i dont care about all that.
All i care about is that i Jeet Ke Aagaye!
Saturday, August 14, 2010
The start of something new,again....
Again i know i havent updated my blog in a freaking long time,but this time its not my laziness which comes into question,oh no people its far from it,this time i didnt actualy have the time ,believe that people ,i ,me ,Adeem Karim the one person in the world who would sleep 13 hours a day did not have the time to update a blog.
Its not that i didnt have a lot to write about ,this new college or as they call it A B school has literally kicked the stuffing out of me,college timings are from 9:45 - 5 and they really make sure you do stay there,we gotta have something like 85% attendance else we cant appear for the exams,now that is bad enough but they must add more salt into the fresh flesh wound,by saying that we ,the students have to study before we come to class,solve some prep questions and wait for this hit,right below the belt,we have to give exams on everything that we have been taught every week,for every subject.
Now for a person who had something like 3% attendance in his final year of his bachelor's degree,its a completely different world,a dark ,different ,twisted sick world,which is so completely wrong in every and any way.There was always a lingering fear that ragging would be the biggest problem in this college,like in any college,but here the seniors dont have the time to rag you,the teachers are the ones ragging you all the time.
Presentations are like beggars on the streets,every freaking day someone or another has to present something,Ghajini[one such sir] asks people to make 20-25 min ppts and randomly picks people to present them,we have this prep english communications class which inevitably becomes a motivation class and we end up seeing clippings of Lakshya or The Pursuit of Happiness ,bah i know now the lyrics of some crummy lakhsya song like its tattooed on my groin.I am not a person who likes to study too much but man they make us work real damn hard every single day,even our weekends arent free.
However ,thanks to all the motivation classes i can now see the silver lining in this dark violent loud storm that has been brewing,i aint scared of making presentations any more,ever since Ghajini asked me to make a presentation on Linear Regression,presentations dont scare me anymore,the story goes like this,we were to make a 30 minute ppt on linear regression,i opened our stats book and the chapter made no sense,so the next day as i leave my house and i end up standing in a queue for a bus,its raining cats and dogs,am wet and pissed off,the bus ride is an hour long and i reach college with a bad cold and no idea what is to happen,and bang first period,am cold and wet and ghajini asks me to present.
Fortunately my presentation and english skills saved my ass from getting a firing i wouldnt forget,infact ghajini and the class applauded my effort ,even got complemented by the Ghajini.
The 2nd good bit from this college are my friends,unlike Techno where i technically found just one good ,proper friend,this time around i found quite a few,including my long lost brother(plus he is a musalman) so thats certainly good.Also most of the teachers do like me a tad bit,especially Marketing sir(he called me a proper romantic,amongst other things which can be misinterpreted),our communications maam and also Ghajini to an extent.
So this is the start of another beginning,2 years of hard labor and hard work,in fact one of these past weekends when i was studying to give an exam ,my dad popped into my room and told me,something which i never thought i would ever hear
"Beta itna padhai mat karo,thoda ps3 bhi khelo"
Its not that i didnt have a lot to write about ,this new college or as they call it A B school has literally kicked the stuffing out of me,college timings are from 9:45 - 5 and they really make sure you do stay there,we gotta have something like 85% attendance else we cant appear for the exams,now that is bad enough but they must add more salt into the fresh flesh wound,by saying that we ,the students have to study before we come to class,solve some prep questions and wait for this hit,right below the belt,we have to give exams on everything that we have been taught every week,for every subject.
Now for a person who had something like 3% attendance in his final year of his bachelor's degree,its a completely different world,a dark ,different ,twisted sick world,which is so completely wrong in every and any way.There was always a lingering fear that ragging would be the biggest problem in this college,like in any college,but here the seniors dont have the time to rag you,the teachers are the ones ragging you all the time.
Presentations are like beggars on the streets,every freaking day someone or another has to present something,Ghajini[one such sir] asks people to make 20-25 min ppts and randomly picks people to present them,we have this prep english communications class which inevitably becomes a motivation class and we end up seeing clippings of Lakshya or The Pursuit of Happiness ,bah i know now the lyrics of some crummy lakhsya song like its tattooed on my groin.I am not a person who likes to study too much but man they make us work real damn hard every single day,even our weekends arent free.
However ,thanks to all the motivation classes i can now see the silver lining in this dark violent loud storm that has been brewing,i aint scared of making presentations any more,ever since Ghajini asked me to make a presentation on Linear Regression,presentations dont scare me anymore,the story goes like this,we were to make a 30 minute ppt on linear regression,i opened our stats book and the chapter made no sense,so the next day as i leave my house and i end up standing in a queue for a bus,its raining cats and dogs,am wet and pissed off,the bus ride is an hour long and i reach college with a bad cold and no idea what is to happen,and bang first period,am cold and wet and ghajini asks me to present.
Fortunately my presentation and english skills saved my ass from getting a firing i wouldnt forget,infact ghajini and the class applauded my effort ,even got complemented by the Ghajini.
The 2nd good bit from this college are my friends,unlike Techno where i technically found just one good ,proper friend,this time around i found quite a few,including my long lost brother(plus he is a musalman) so thats certainly good.Also most of the teachers do like me a tad bit,especially Marketing sir(he called me a proper romantic,amongst other things which can be misinterpreted),our communications maam and also Ghajini to an extent.
So this is the start of another beginning,2 years of hard labor and hard work,in fact one of these past weekends when i was studying to give an exam ,my dad popped into my room and told me,something which i never thought i would ever hear
"Beta itna padhai mat karo,thoda ps3 bhi khelo"
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