Only July 14th 2010, I started a journey, after the glorious victory of the Spanish Armada over the Flying Dutchmen, it was time to grow and gain some knowledge about the most dreaded thing in life, "a business" or "work" as we call it.
Especially since I had just finished a laborious 3 year slog to get my degree, graduation was done, it was time for a post graduation course. Shuddering a lot since this was a "professional" institute, meaning, no bunking, no breaks, long hours and wearing corporate clothes and having corporate etiquette, where the fuck was I going? What the fuck was I going to do for 2 years.
Dressed to kill and not wanting to leave my humble yet comfortable abode, the journey to reach the said institute was a long one, starting early in the morning with the pixies still have laid their dust in my eyes, wiping them away, having a morning constitutional and making my breakfast, easy take? Not for one who would stay awake till the stars were bright at night and the howling dogs would have slept in the cool breeze of an open world, here I was about to begin the journey which would ultimately lead me to a closed world where I could still explore a lot more than expected, ironic.
The destination reached, making my way up a mountain of stairs, a little fear , a little excitement but not a lot of happiness. Who wants to gain more knowledge about stuff they don't like? This was not going to be a oration for 2 years about football, gaming or music, rather about marketing, finance and HR.
The stairs led me up to a huge room, with 180 trapped souls all either baying to be let out from the torture or just to get over with the day, fortunately meeting my brother, long lost saved my soul for the coming 2 years... I was sure these 2 years would be hell on earth, how wrong I was.
Fast forward to present day and tomorrow is my final day of reckoning in the institute, while some of us have been absorbed by the torture called as work, I would suggest those who still have a few days left before joining to enjoy each day, as once work starts, there is no coming back, there is no life, that is life for 40 or so years.
While this post starts off in a very sad tone, its time to rejoice for the moments that made it a quite extraordinary 2 years with some kickass friends.
1: The first day, returning home in a taxi at 8:30 PM when we spent the entire day from 9 AM in college, stuck in a traffic jam, rain pouring into the car and our laptops getting soaked, abusing a lot of people, wow, a amazing day.
2:The first session with the owner of the college and how he trolled us hard by saying that we were the worst ever batch in the history of the college and that "retests" were being introduced just because of us.
3: The first class by the Ghajini [search for the post on this]
4: The first time we had to collect money for Serendipity and the following day when we were on troll mode and we were on the same mode again in the 2nd serendipity.
5:The endless torturing and picking on the Mriganko, a freak who runs like he is being chased by the ladyboys of thailand and he seems to be one.
6: Showing everyone my "magic trick"
7: Shouting out aloud the Bonbon laws and being a dick to most girls in the college by constantly trolling em, telling em to wear decent clothes and if they did would tell em all the sickest perverted jokes ever.
8: Getting to troll about with the group of 5 in college, Swati, Wasim, Nangto [prithwi] and chutiya Rahul
9:Meeting the biggest fattest whale in college and yet being one of the funniest people to be around and having a genuine heart, Sethji
10: Having a kickass time during my internship, pissing off the boss, causing all sorts of havoc and not working.
11:Watching the Nangto dance about like there is no stopping him, the best dancer ever in the college, all bow down to the king.
As the final day dawns on me, us, the people who have started being slaves to organizations and companies , we all feel the same, work is not what its all cracked up to be.
While we all thought of earning money and having our own freedom in thinking and decision making, we are still slaves in a system, especially since we are freshers having no idea of what work actually is and how trolly people can be on newbies.
Its torturous, its laborious,its typical work.
While we all bitched about how pathetic college was, it seems that the theory of relativity crops up again.
Nursery>KG>Primary School>Secondary School>Graduation>Post Graduation>Work.
Work sucks, college didn't.
Oh to go back again, how the fuck did I grow up so fast?
22 years in a blink, 40 more years of crummy work.
Life trolls us all.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Sunday, March 18, 2012
the Wedding Part 3
The morning on the day of the wedding was like any other , birds be flying, I grabbing a newspaper and reading the comic section,a typical lazy day except I was not at my own house but at Rohit's and it was just about to get crazy in da house.
The entire Sarkar family was on "holy cow , shit gonna start soon" mode, with people running about and getting the final checks before moving to the hall which was booked for the wedding. Now Bengali weddings don't go for that "lets have just 1 massive hall" kind of idea, they go fr the glamorous " We shall book a complete building which has historical significance and was once owned buy a king".
This is exactly what was booked by Rohit's family, a big palatial home with a huge lawn at the back and huge crazy corridors and rooms on the ground floor, while the first and 2nd floors were off limits as people resided in them.
The morning was crazy as everyone was supposed to shift to that home and have breakfast there, so people were loading a lot of goods, utensils, food items into cars and trying to stuff people into the same car and moving into the same rented "palace". Plus this was a Feb wedding but one this day of the wedding , especially in the morning it was screaming for a fire and was bloody warm, with me wearing a dark t shirt, I looked like I had just come from a swimming pool, sweating like a crazy person.
Also when Rohit and I reached the place along with a few of his relatives, we found out that the groom's relatives were to come over in the morning and have a look at the place once over, crazy panic mode sets in as we have to make breakfast for them. Breakfast was always on the cards but we were going in a slow way as it was just for us, now we had to go into over gear and make a lot of "Loochi and Vegetables".
When the set of ladies came to the hall, and they all were looking fantastic, we made sure they got what they wanted, food that is. Fed em and shoved em off to go back to their "Kashmir House" so that we bongs could hog on the food, especially sitting in an open yard and having the fear of some "mayonnaise" falling from the sky and acting as a condiment to your food is always scary. We sat under a covered porch right next to the garden, with Rohit's fraaands from NITK coming into the party and me meeting a few of em, you know the southies that Rohit warned me not to make fun off. Babla and Nagu also joined the gang and we ate like crazy.
After breakfast we had nothing much to do but kill time, so while some of Rohit's friends went off to "Discover Calcutta", which meant a trip to Park Street and Victoria Memorial, quite a few of us stayed back for some light assed banter. Bhabhiji, Buddhesh, Joyraj, Nagu, Babla and if I missed someone , you didn't make an impression on me that day. jokes were flying about as Babla brought out one PJ after another ,kepping us entertained and being the typical Babla as he is, plus he was making up for the fact that he would not be there for the wedding as he had to play at a show, typical rock stardom, has to pay a price ultimately missed out a lot.
After lunch we all retired back, well Nagu and I did, we needed to bathe and clean up before we went to the wedding. Evening comes and Nagu comes over to my place before we go to the wedding, both looking dapper in kurta's and all, we looked so different compared to what we normally wear, it was insane. Reaching the said hall for the wedding, we see that it is already filling up with people and they are already taking snaps of the bride and groom, people lining up greeting them, we acting like trolls and greeting random people who we don't know, getting our pictures taken and also making sure that bhabhiji and Chintoo got their pictures taken, together as well so that chintoo can never be forever alone.
While taking pictures and the likes were alright, the real stars of the night, barring the couples were the starters, I mean the food, holy cow did Rohit get this thing right. the food at the wedding was fantastic, especially this crazy chicken starter, now I know that my love for chicken has no bounds but SWEEEET JESUS this was absolutely fantastic, I was out hunting the waiters so that they could bring me this spicy chicken all the time. Hell one waiter was always coming to me and serving me the chicken first since I loved it so much, I must have had at least a pound of that chicken, easy.
Then these was this fantastic fried fish as well, usually I don't eat seafood but Rohit told me "You gotta have the fish". Me mom and dad also told me to have it and again this one hit the ball out of the stadium, the food was just fucking amazing at the wedding, plus the fact these was ice cream of 5 flavours, it just could not get any better.
There was some work to be done as well, what happens in bong weddings is that the male members of the family have to carry the bride from the mandap to another spot on the garden, now Rohit's sister is not fat at all but us flabby men trying to life a lady up seemed to be such a hard thing to do, the distance was not more than 20 meters, but my God, we had to take help from like 20 men, all switching positions so that they don't get tired, I did my bit as well, making sure sister ji did not fall down and make us all look like complete noobs. Arms tired, work done, this was my workout for the entire week if not month.
Work done = party time, which means eating more and more, stuffing myself with the said chicken even after dinner is done, sadly Babla missed this entire feast and we had to keep some food aside for him, actually we had to keep a lot of food aside for the fat ass, he came at around 11 PM, but as soon as I thought the party would really start with Babla is full swing and the fact that there is this bit about all the members staying up all night after the marriage for a bit of fun, I had to return back home thanks to my office, lets just say It was not easy to go back since Babla had come back and was giving me the greatest tirade in his lowest audible voice. All in all another big wedding was done, congratulations to the newly weds who returned back to the good old US of A.
Coming next, Chintoo's wedding, for sure.
The entire Sarkar family was on "holy cow , shit gonna start soon" mode, with people running about and getting the final checks before moving to the hall which was booked for the wedding. Now Bengali weddings don't go for that "lets have just 1 massive hall" kind of idea, they go fr the glamorous " We shall book a complete building which has historical significance and was once owned buy a king".
This is exactly what was booked by Rohit's family, a big palatial home with a huge lawn at the back and huge crazy corridors and rooms on the ground floor, while the first and 2nd floors were off limits as people resided in them.
The morning was crazy as everyone was supposed to shift to that home and have breakfast there, so people were loading a lot of goods, utensils, food items into cars and trying to stuff people into the same car and moving into the same rented "palace". Plus this was a Feb wedding but one this day of the wedding , especially in the morning it was screaming for a fire and was bloody warm, with me wearing a dark t shirt, I looked like I had just come from a swimming pool, sweating like a crazy person.
Also when Rohit and I reached the place along with a few of his relatives, we found out that the groom's relatives were to come over in the morning and have a look at the place once over, crazy panic mode sets in as we have to make breakfast for them. Breakfast was always on the cards but we were going in a slow way as it was just for us, now we had to go into over gear and make a lot of "Loochi and Vegetables".
When the set of ladies came to the hall, and they all were looking fantastic, we made sure they got what they wanted, food that is. Fed em and shoved em off to go back to their "Kashmir House" so that we bongs could hog on the food, especially sitting in an open yard and having the fear of some "mayonnaise" falling from the sky and acting as a condiment to your food is always scary. We sat under a covered porch right next to the garden, with Rohit's fraaands from NITK coming into the party and me meeting a few of em, you know the southies that Rohit warned me not to make fun off. Babla and Nagu also joined the gang and we ate like crazy.
After breakfast we had nothing much to do but kill time, so while some of Rohit's friends went off to "Discover Calcutta", which meant a trip to Park Street and Victoria Memorial, quite a few of us stayed back for some light assed banter. Bhabhiji, Buddhesh, Joyraj, Nagu, Babla and if I missed someone , you didn't make an impression on me that day. jokes were flying about as Babla brought out one PJ after another ,kepping us entertained and being the typical Babla as he is, plus he was making up for the fact that he would not be there for the wedding as he had to play at a show, typical rock stardom, has to pay a price ultimately missed out a lot.
After lunch we all retired back, well Nagu and I did, we needed to bathe and clean up before we went to the wedding. Evening comes and Nagu comes over to my place before we go to the wedding, both looking dapper in kurta's and all, we looked so different compared to what we normally wear, it was insane. Reaching the said hall for the wedding, we see that it is already filling up with people and they are already taking snaps of the bride and groom, people lining up greeting them, we acting like trolls and greeting random people who we don't know, getting our pictures taken and also making sure that bhabhiji and Chintoo got their pictures taken, together as well so that chintoo can never be forever alone.
While taking pictures and the likes were alright, the real stars of the night, barring the couples were the starters, I mean the food, holy cow did Rohit get this thing right. the food at the wedding was fantastic, especially this crazy chicken starter, now I know that my love for chicken has no bounds but SWEEEET JESUS this was absolutely fantastic, I was out hunting the waiters so that they could bring me this spicy chicken all the time. Hell one waiter was always coming to me and serving me the chicken first since I loved it so much, I must have had at least a pound of that chicken, easy.
Then these was this fantastic fried fish as well, usually I don't eat seafood but Rohit told me "You gotta have the fish". Me mom and dad also told me to have it and again this one hit the ball out of the stadium, the food was just fucking amazing at the wedding, plus the fact these was ice cream of 5 flavours, it just could not get any better.
There was some work to be done as well, what happens in bong weddings is that the male members of the family have to carry the bride from the mandap to another spot on the garden, now Rohit's sister is not fat at all but us flabby men trying to life a lady up seemed to be such a hard thing to do, the distance was not more than 20 meters, but my God, we had to take help from like 20 men, all switching positions so that they don't get tired, I did my bit as well, making sure sister ji did not fall down and make us all look like complete noobs. Arms tired, work done, this was my workout for the entire week if not month.
Work done = party time, which means eating more and more, stuffing myself with the said chicken even after dinner is done, sadly Babla missed this entire feast and we had to keep some food aside for him, actually we had to keep a lot of food aside for the fat ass, he came at around 11 PM, but as soon as I thought the party would really start with Babla is full swing and the fact that there is this bit about all the members staying up all night after the marriage for a bit of fun, I had to return back home thanks to my office, lets just say It was not easy to go back since Babla had come back and was giving me the greatest tirade in his lowest audible voice. All in all another big wedding was done, congratulations to the newly weds who returned back to the good old US of A.
Coming next, Chintoo's wedding, for sure.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
The Wedding Part 2 : The Invasion
To continue where I left off the last time, the wedding of the year was coming up, Rohit's sister's wedding and we were part of the crew which would "work" from the bride's side. This means just one thing, full on nonsense from the remaining 3 of us, Nagu, Babla and myself.
The most important thing Rohit/Chintoo told me was that his "friends" from mallu land would be coming, aka the NITK Suratkal people, classmates, southies, whatever you wanna call em, they were coming.
Rohit in fact told Babla and me not to make any southie jokes in front of certain people so that we don't offend em, which means we would offend em by making all sorts of jokes, see Rohit is a smart lad granted, came second in our school in the ISC exams,( really took his case that time) but his understanding of his friend's minds never seems to work, reverse psychology is what he should have done, "MAKE JOKES ON ALL OF EM" he should have said but he didn't and we did, make fun of the southies.
Before the scheduled date of the marriage it was time for the invasion, all of the NITK crew were coming over to stay at rohit's place, he had set up quite a few rooms in his building for the same, with beds, sheets and other facilities, the first day I went over I met Buddhesh, the first NITK bugger apart from Rohit whom I had met, a brilliant guy and with whom I had one of the best conversations, in case you people have forgotten this is the conversation again:
Buddhesh " You know Prasoona and I were............."
Me : " what? i didn't hear"
Buddh " she is my girlfriend"
Me : " WHAT????"
Buddh: " Yeah, you didn't know that, Rohit didn't tell you?" he says with a straight face
Me : "Fuck no!"
He calls Rohit over and I ask him
"WTF man? Buddhesh and Nalla are a couple?"
He looks at me like I am some crazy bugger, so does Buddh
Chintoo "WTF are you on?"
Me :" Arrey that's what Buddhesh said"
Buddh: " No, I said Classmate"
Me : "Fuck my hearing"
So we spent a good time chatting about how things were at NITK, the sodomy, the rapes and all, just kidding, it was nice to hear a bit more about Chintoo's "love" story and get the proper details instead of some half arsed ones.
I decided to stay over as the next day we had to go and collect bhabhiji, chintoo as usual went off to bed at 12 AM, which is late for him considering he would sleep at 9 PM in his school days and 10:30 PM in his college days, Buddhesh vouches for this.
Babla was supposed to turn up and he did in his all Rockstar glory coming in at a very early 3 AM, knocking us off sleep and then spending an hour talking about Ghosts, Jins ,Spirits and religion and no he was not drunk, the next day in the morning 6 AM we set off to receive the Bhabhiji,read that post if you want more details.
after the legendary pick up and drop off of the bhabhi, Rohit told me a few more friends were coming , so in the evening I set off for Rohit's place and found this huge bugger sitting in his living room, Joyraj was his name but everyone called him Zoyraz, since he could not pronounce the J and Rohit had a hell of a time to understand how he could spell his name. This guy was rohit's roommate for a couple of years and has the tag of being the laziest person at NITK, oh and for some reason he does not speak much, so I made sure he would speak more, a lot moe by constantly telling him every single day he was there
"JOYRAJ TU KUCH BOLTA NAHIN, KUCH TOH BOL YAAR"
Everyday, this went on and on and I trolled him like hell but the guy never did much but smile and walk about, he did respond but never in the STB way.
The other people I met during the invasion was Anudeep, the poor guy who is supposed to hang out with a lazy bum like me in Calcutta but we never do and this other guy from OOEHS!, yeah he had seen me a lotta times but I did not remember him, maybe it was due to teh fact he had shaved his head completely or it was due to the fact that I can't remember people from a week or 2 back, how would I remember him in he was my school mate 10 years back.
There was a final onslaught a day later from the real southies, people that Rohit had warned me not to make jokes on, could not socialize with em as much as I wanted to, most of the time I was with the 4 guys and Bhabhiji making lame comments and jokes.
The real fun was to begin soon enough, while we all were preparing for the grand occasion, Rohit was shitting in his pants, all of us wanted Rohit to get some alone time with Bhabhiji but that never happened since he went into beserk mode in trying to to get all the work done on time and plus, he knew if he did get some alone time , we the friends of his would make sure we all were part of the alone time.
He would remember this alone time, forever.
Coming up Part 3: The D Day
The most important thing Rohit/Chintoo told me was that his "friends" from mallu land would be coming, aka the NITK Suratkal people, classmates, southies, whatever you wanna call em, they were coming.
Rohit in fact told Babla and me not to make any southie jokes in front of certain people so that we don't offend em, which means we would offend em by making all sorts of jokes, see Rohit is a smart lad granted, came second in our school in the ISC exams,( really took his case that time) but his understanding of his friend's minds never seems to work, reverse psychology is what he should have done, "MAKE JOKES ON ALL OF EM" he should have said but he didn't and we did, make fun of the southies.
Before the scheduled date of the marriage it was time for the invasion, all of the NITK crew were coming over to stay at rohit's place, he had set up quite a few rooms in his building for the same, with beds, sheets and other facilities, the first day I went over I met Buddhesh, the first NITK bugger apart from Rohit whom I had met, a brilliant guy and with whom I had one of the best conversations, in case you people have forgotten this is the conversation again:
Buddhesh " You know Prasoona and I were............."
Me : " what? i didn't hear"
Buddh " she is my girlfriend"
Me : " WHAT????"
Buddh: " Yeah, you didn't know that, Rohit didn't tell you?" he says with a straight face
Me : "Fuck no!"
He calls Rohit over and I ask him
"WTF man? Buddhesh and Nalla are a couple?"
He looks at me like I am some crazy bugger, so does Buddh
Chintoo "WTF are you on?"
Me :" Arrey that's what Buddhesh said"
Buddh: " No, I said Classmate"
Me : "Fuck my hearing"
So we spent a good time chatting about how things were at NITK, the sodomy, the rapes and all, just kidding, it was nice to hear a bit more about Chintoo's "love" story and get the proper details instead of some half arsed ones.
I decided to stay over as the next day we had to go and collect bhabhiji, chintoo as usual went off to bed at 12 AM, which is late for him considering he would sleep at 9 PM in his school days and 10:30 PM in his college days, Buddhesh vouches for this.
Babla was supposed to turn up and he did in his all Rockstar glory coming in at a very early 3 AM, knocking us off sleep and then spending an hour talking about Ghosts, Jins ,Spirits and religion and no he was not drunk, the next day in the morning 6 AM we set off to receive the Bhabhiji,read that post if you want more details.
after the legendary pick up and drop off of the bhabhi, Rohit told me a few more friends were coming , so in the evening I set off for Rohit's place and found this huge bugger sitting in his living room, Joyraj was his name but everyone called him Zoyraz, since he could not pronounce the J and Rohit had a hell of a time to understand how he could spell his name. This guy was rohit's roommate for a couple of years and has the tag of being the laziest person at NITK, oh and for some reason he does not speak much, so I made sure he would speak more, a lot moe by constantly telling him every single day he was there
"JOYRAJ TU KUCH BOLTA NAHIN, KUCH TOH BOL YAAR"
Everyday, this went on and on and I trolled him like hell but the guy never did much but smile and walk about, he did respond but never in the STB way.
The other people I met during the invasion was Anudeep, the poor guy who is supposed to hang out with a lazy bum like me in Calcutta but we never do and this other guy from OOEHS!, yeah he had seen me a lotta times but I did not remember him, maybe it was due to teh fact he had shaved his head completely or it was due to the fact that I can't remember people from a week or 2 back, how would I remember him in he was my school mate 10 years back.
There was a final onslaught a day later from the real southies, people that Rohit had warned me not to make jokes on, could not socialize with em as much as I wanted to, most of the time I was with the 4 guys and Bhabhiji making lame comments and jokes.
The real fun was to begin soon enough, while we all were preparing for the grand occasion, Rohit was shitting in his pants, all of us wanted Rohit to get some alone time with Bhabhiji but that never happened since he went into beserk mode in trying to to get all the work done on time and plus, he knew if he did get some alone time , we the friends of his would make sure we all were part of the alone time.
He would remember this alone time, forever.
Coming up Part 3: The D Day
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