I have not had the greatest of stories to tell from my office, till now. This was a day never to be forgotten, first all my bosses were away on tour leaving me to do some much needed trolling before I have my review.
The morning started like any other office morning, checking a ton of emails and just getting pissed at some idiots who either fucked up or sweating my balls off if I made some error. However, today was a day not to be concerned about projects, artworks, dpns etc etc etc, this was the day, Manish, one of my besties from THE OFFICE shone like a bright beacon and brought about a ton of laughter and craziness.
#This really did feel like a kickass episode from the office where people owned Dwight or Gareth #
So there is this person working in office called Arjun, seems like a typical humourless office nerd, thin, bespectacled , short, the typical guy you would pick on in office.
Manish has had a kick ass time owning this guy, once he was staring at soap noodles, things that are used to make soaps,
Arjun: What is this?
Manish : These are soap noodles.
Arjun : So what do you do with them?
Manish : You eat them and then the next morning when you take a shit, you get a bar of soap out of your ass
Arjun : .............
Manish : Hahahahahahaha (walk away)
Recently we got our extension phones for the internal communication, Manish had been searching for just one guys number, that is right, Arjun, unfortunately his name was not on the list of numbers provided to us, saddened but certainly not broken, he found a novel way of searching for the number, off he went through his emails
Me :What the hell are you doing?
Manish : Dude, that guy had taken over from someone, (reads one email and gets the number of the guy he took over from)
NOW STARTS THE FUN
The number comes out to be 4055, in a jiff Manish calls him up
Manish : IS this Arjun Roy?
Arjun: Yes it is
Manish : Ok (slams the phone down)
We all burst into laughter
A few minutes later we get Neha , another of our colleagues who is part of the group to call up Arjun, initially she was a little reluctant but how can you resist some craziness in the office?
So she calls him up
Neha : Hello?
Arjun : Hello.
Neha : Please provide 4 cups of coffee at the 12th floor (Slams the phone)
We all laugh extra hard, since there are only 11 floors in our building. We actually had to stop this tirade and work for us to stop laughing like some crazy hyenas .
I had to tell Manish to calm down and let him live or he would write a mail the next day stating he would not require the extension line.
Manish though was not done, now he did not target Arjun on his extension, instead he called Arjun via his own extension on Arjun's mobile number, as soon as Arjun picked up the call since it was the office number , Manish goes "MEOOOOWWWWWW".
Mad laughter issues once again.
I can't face Arjun ever again without bursting into laughter, its craziness, its madness, its what I want my office to be, every damn day.
As I leave my office, I pick up the phone and dial in 4055,
Arjun : Hello
Me : Laughs and slams the phone.
Goes over to his floor, with Manish, looks at him, bursts into laughter and heads home.
A proper trolltastic day at the office
Showing posts with label Work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Work. Show all posts
Friday, August 31, 2012
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Serious advise
I am the last person on earth from whom you should or would take advise but over the past couple of months, at least since I started working, epiphanies have been hitting me like a goalie gets hammered by some slap shots in a game of hockey ( yes I do love ICE hockey), anyways here are 3 important things to take note off and please do take them seriously, have been screaming these points repeatedly to people I meet, especially my niece who is thinking about a career.
1: LOVE YOUR SCHOOL DAYS : While most of the core group of readers would have already started attending college, if you are one of the few lucky people still in school, cherish every damn moment of it. Trust me, when I was young all I wanted to do was leave school and go to college/work, let me hit you straight, there is nothing better than school, love them assignments, love them exams, the worst that could happen to you there was a bit of a scolding but you would be off the next day. "Work" ended for you at 3 PM max, ok in the more important years it would be a little longer but your weekends were free, summer vacations were vacations and well you would have time for something called life.
Love school, don't pass attending everyday of school, you get hundreds of moments, make every day count, these days WILL NEVER RETURN AGAIN.
2: DO NOT PURSUE AN MBA FOR THE SAKE OF IT: Hell this goes out for almost every whoring post grad/grad course us Indians want, engineering, doctors and MBA's. The country is over run with them and if you do it from a college which is not elitist to say, you are fucked, paid low, worked more and given absolutely no respect. MBA's are a dime a dozen, do something which you actually want to do, even if it means starting with a lower package, the biggest obstacle is society but fuck that, its better than suffering later on, cursing every week day plus the work culture in India sucks as it is, 6 work days and all.
Another something like 40 years more of this work life for me, damn it.
3: WORK IS NOT ITS CRACKED UP TO BE: Talked about this in an earlier post, work is not as fun as it should be, especially when you are a young kid with no experience, just try and get into some domain which interests you else you are getting jacked on a regular basis because you are on the lowest point in the food chain and well everyone will eat you up for even the most smallest of errors.
The day I get a junior working under me, its gonna be a tragic life cycle for that junior, that's a certainly, all the anger is going to flow out like the puss that oozes out from a huge pimple on your face.
1: LOVE YOUR SCHOOL DAYS : While most of the core group of readers would have already started attending college, if you are one of the few lucky people still in school, cherish every damn moment of it. Trust me, when I was young all I wanted to do was leave school and go to college/work, let me hit you straight, there is nothing better than school, love them assignments, love them exams, the worst that could happen to you there was a bit of a scolding but you would be off the next day. "Work" ended for you at 3 PM max, ok in the more important years it would be a little longer but your weekends were free, summer vacations were vacations and well you would have time for something called life.
Love school, don't pass attending everyday of school, you get hundreds of moments, make every day count, these days WILL NEVER RETURN AGAIN.
2: DO NOT PURSUE AN MBA FOR THE SAKE OF IT: Hell this goes out for almost every whoring post grad/grad course us Indians want, engineering, doctors and MBA's. The country is over run with them and if you do it from a college which is not elitist to say, you are fucked, paid low, worked more and given absolutely no respect. MBA's are a dime a dozen, do something which you actually want to do, even if it means starting with a lower package, the biggest obstacle is society but fuck that, its better than suffering later on, cursing every week day plus the work culture in India sucks as it is, 6 work days and all.
Another something like 40 years more of this work life for me, damn it.
3: WORK IS NOT ITS CRACKED UP TO BE: Talked about this in an earlier post, work is not as fun as it should be, especially when you are a young kid with no experience, just try and get into some domain which interests you else you are getting jacked on a regular basis because you are on the lowest point in the food chain and well everyone will eat you up for even the most smallest of errors.
The day I get a junior working under me, its gonna be a tragic life cycle for that junior, that's a certainly, all the anger is going to flow out like the puss that oozes out from a huge pimple on your face.
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Time
You wake up on a sad Monday morning, rubbing the fairy dust from your eyes, scratching your hair and then your groin, its been a long yet short Sunday and well Mondays just suck ass, so you get off bed, do a couple of stretches look up at the clock and the alarm bells start ringing
"FFFFAAAAAAAKKKKKK, I am late"
"God dammit, fucking alarm didn't ring"
Rush, run, faster than the Flash, fuck the morning constitutional, fuck my breakfast we have to make it to the death hole called the office on time. Been late for the last 4 Mondays on the trot, not going to happen again.
Sound a little familiar, well I have had this fear of being late for appointments and the like ever since I heard my dad giving me a talk about how important it is to maintain time, true while I spend 2 hours at night practically trolling about on internet sites and forums, not once can I say that I have been late [uber late] for any appointment, if I am going to be late, I do have the decency and etiquette to call first.
Earlier today a friend of mine came over and he asked me what the time was
"7:30 PM" was the time showing on my wrist watch, before he could note the time, I intervened
"Umm dude, my watch is actually 15 minutes fast", yes people do keep their watch 5 minutes fast but the freakshow that I am would rather keep his watch 15 minutes fast, why do you ask?
its elementary my dear friends, you see on a long office day, when you see that time just wont fly by, you look up to your watch and it is 15 minutes ahead of the time it should be. THAT is a proper pick me up, "Dang I got 15 minutes less to burn up here and then I can go back home"
While Amir[ the friend who came over] looks up to my wall clock, ding dong that clock is 25 minutes fast, perplexed he looks at me
"Dude, that watch was bloody 10 minutes slow for the past 2 days, always keep it 15 minutes ahead so to counter that 10 minutes slow, I made it 25 minutes fast"
Still not getting it. "Ahhhh and the clock in my parents room is 15 minutes slow, my cell phones are 10 and 15 minutes ahead of time and the Cuckoo clock in the living room is 5 minutes fast"
Trying to make all time instruments negate each other, maybe the Cuckoo isn't the one on the wall. However looking at the watch and seeing time fly by when it isn't sure as hell makes for a happy reading on a shit assed work day.
"FFFFAAAAAAAKKKKKK, I am late"
"God dammit, fucking alarm didn't ring"
Rush, run, faster than the Flash, fuck the morning constitutional, fuck my breakfast we have to make it to the death hole called the office on time. Been late for the last 4 Mondays on the trot, not going to happen again.
Sound a little familiar, well I have had this fear of being late for appointments and the like ever since I heard my dad giving me a talk about how important it is to maintain time, true while I spend 2 hours at night practically trolling about on internet sites and forums, not once can I say that I have been late [uber late] for any appointment, if I am going to be late, I do have the decency and etiquette to call first.
Earlier today a friend of mine came over and he asked me what the time was
"7:30 PM" was the time showing on my wrist watch, before he could note the time, I intervened
"Umm dude, my watch is actually 15 minutes fast", yes people do keep their watch 5 minutes fast but the freakshow that I am would rather keep his watch 15 minutes fast, why do you ask?
its elementary my dear friends, you see on a long office day, when you see that time just wont fly by, you look up to your watch and it is 15 minutes ahead of the time it should be. THAT is a proper pick me up, "Dang I got 15 minutes less to burn up here and then I can go back home"
While Amir[ the friend who came over] looks up to my wall clock, ding dong that clock is 25 minutes fast, perplexed he looks at me
"Dude, that watch was bloody 10 minutes slow for the past 2 days, always keep it 15 minutes ahead so to counter that 10 minutes slow, I made it 25 minutes fast"
Still not getting it. "Ahhhh and the clock in my parents room is 15 minutes slow, my cell phones are 10 and 15 minutes ahead of time and the Cuckoo clock in the living room is 5 minutes fast"
Trying to make all time instruments negate each other, maybe the Cuckoo isn't the one on the wall. However looking at the watch and seeing time fly by when it isn't sure as hell makes for a happy reading on a shit assed work day.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
A twist of fate
Fate, that one word which most of us use for our shortcomings, problems, luck and all the other shitty things that happen to us throughout our life.
"Couldn't help it man, guess it was fate that did this"
"Fate brought this on me man, I am fucked, damn it"
Fate, cursed as life is, blaming fate for everything bad that happens seems to be a mindset showing the fragility that us humans have learned and now apply regularly. Fate is not the worst thing in the world, fate has a funny way of making things right over time, Karma of sorts you could say, this blog is particularly about Fate and how it works in mysterious ways.
As you all know by now I have been working now for a good 4 months, touch wood nothing serious has happened to far in terms of BIG screw ups, little screw ups are part and parcel of life and well we only learn from our mistakes.
This case comes to light now, since its been 4 months and I have seen the other side of the green grass as thme sn!frnm`ou~ eirdaaew,7ollege and I were selected for the posts at the company where we work now, Rohit and I were supposed to be brand trainees for the first year, well Rohit was not given that post because he has a slight color blindness problem and hence was given an "Activation" profile, which while we were new in the system thought that he would have to travel to malls and shops and see how products and shows are activated, while I got my brand profile as was promised to us.
4 months later, Rohit is literally doing the job of 5 men handling a ton of stocks, rfas and all going completely crazy with work load and putting in 12 hour shifts on a regular basis, I on the other hand work on just one single brand and well to be frank I do not have much to do now, since my markets and product are already well defined, yes both of us are working in teams which are helpful and friendly and well are pushing our branches of the organization for growth coz all it seems that people want to do is grow and grow with the team they are working with.
When I see Rohit work his ass off and I end up trolling people all the time and being the jackass I can be in office, making shit assed comments and jokes, I feel upset for the bugger since he has to do so much work and well he is taking it with a smile, while I become MR grumpy as soon as something wrong happens or something does not please me, while I was contemplating about why things go wrong and all, epiphany strikes me, it could have been much worse than what I have right now, people are struggling to get jobs, hell I got a fucking fantastic one, people would love to work in a huge company , I got that chance as well. People would love to work in their home city for said large huge company, check I got that too, plus I got awesome bosses and well most colleagues are again good as well, so I don't have much to complain and well learning from Rohit
"Do everything with a smile" , life just can't get better and we all should be happy with all that we have, hell if you are reading this blog, you probably have a smart mobile or a computer and internet, a ton of people don't have that, so we all should not complain.
Coming back to fate, seeing where both us are right now, me leaving office regularly at 7 or somedays even earlier than that and my friend not even thinking of leaving before 9, the funny bit is, that we had a word with the HR who recruited us a few days after joining to know what we would be doing and all, he says
"Actually you have got the Activation profile and Rohit had got the brand profile but in his medical his eye sight became an issue and since you have to deal with a lot of colors we gave him the Activation profile and you the Brand one. Its just a random selection that was done, nothing that big"
4 months down the line, I can see what I could have been doing and what I am doing, will never complain about anything anymore.
Fate, thou art a crazy retarded cruel cool dude.
"Couldn't help it man, guess it was fate that did this"
"Fate brought this on me man, I am fucked, damn it"
Fate, cursed as life is, blaming fate for everything bad that happens seems to be a mindset showing the fragility that us humans have learned and now apply regularly. Fate is not the worst thing in the world, fate has a funny way of making things right over time, Karma of sorts you could say, this blog is particularly about Fate and how it works in mysterious ways.
As you all know by now I have been working now for a good 4 months, touch wood nothing serious has happened to far in terms of BIG screw ups, little screw ups are part and parcel of life and well we only learn from our mistakes.
This case comes to light now, since its been 4 months and I have seen the other side of the green grass as thme sn!frnm`ou~ eirdaaew,
4 months later, Rohit is literally doing the job of 5 men handling a ton of stocks, rfas and all going completely crazy with work load and putting in 12 hour shifts on a regular basis, I on the other hand work on just one single brand and well to be frank I do not have much to do now, since my markets and product are already well defined, yes both of us are working in teams which are helpful and friendly and well are pushing our branches of the organization for growth coz all it seems that people want to do is grow and grow with the team they are working with.
When I see Rohit work his ass off and I end up trolling people all the time and being the jackass I can be in office, making shit assed comments and jokes, I feel upset for the bugger since he has to do so much work and well he is taking it with a smile, while I become MR grumpy as soon as something wrong happens or something does not please me, while I was contemplating about why things go wrong and all, epiphany strikes me, it could have been much worse than what I have right now, people are struggling to get jobs, hell I got a fucking fantastic one, people would love to work in a huge company , I got that chance as well. People would love to work in their home city for said large huge company, check I got that too, plus I got awesome bosses and well most colleagues are again good as well, so I don't have much to complain and well learning from Rohit
"Do everything with a smile" , life just can't get better and we all should be happy with all that we have, hell if you are reading this blog, you probably have a smart mobile or a computer and internet, a ton of people don't have that, so we all should not complain.
Coming back to fate, seeing where both us are right now, me leaving office regularly at 7 or somedays even earlier than that and my friend not even thinking of leaving before 9, the funny bit is, that we had a word with the HR who recruited us a few days after joining to know what we would be doing and all, he says
"Actually you have got the Activation profile and Rohit had got the brand profile but in his medical his eye sight became an issue and since you have to deal with a lot of colors we gave him the Activation profile and you the Brand one. Its just a random selection that was done, nothing that big"
4 months down the line, I can see what I could have been doing and what I am doing, will never complain about anything anymore.
Fate, thou art a crazy retarded cruel cool dude.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
A chapter ends, again
Only July 14th 2010, I started a journey, after the glorious victory of the Spanish Armada over the Flying Dutchmen, it was time to grow and gain some knowledge about the most dreaded thing in life, "a business" or "work" as we call it.
Especially since I had just finished a laborious 3 year slog to get my degree, graduation was done, it was time for a post graduation course. Shuddering a lot since this was a "professional" institute, meaning, no bunking, no breaks, long hours and wearing corporate clothes and having corporate etiquette, where the fuck was I going? What the fuck was I going to do for 2 years.
Dressed to kill and not wanting to leave my humble yet comfortable abode, the journey to reach the said institute was a long one, starting early in the morning with the pixies still have laid their dust in my eyes, wiping them away, having a morning constitutional and making my breakfast, easy take? Not for one who would stay awake till the stars were bright at night and the howling dogs would have slept in the cool breeze of an open world, here I was about to begin the journey which would ultimately lead me to a closed world where I could still explore a lot more than expected, ironic.
The destination reached, making my way up a mountain of stairs, a little fear , a little excitement but not a lot of happiness. Who wants to gain more knowledge about stuff they don't like? This was not going to be a oration for 2 years about football, gaming or music, rather about marketing, finance and HR.
The stairs led me up to a huge room, with 180 trapped souls all either baying to be let out from the torture or just to get over with the day, fortunately meeting my brother, long lost saved my soul for the coming 2 years... I was sure these 2 years would be hell on earth, how wrong I was.
Fast forward to present day and tomorrow is my final day of reckoning in the institute, while some of us have been absorbed by the torture called as work, I would suggest those who still have a few days left before joining to enjoy each day, as once work starts, there is no coming back, there is no life, that is life for 40 or so years.
While this post starts off in a very sad tone, its time to rejoice for the moments that made it a quite extraordinary 2 years with some kickass friends.
1: The first day, returning home in a taxi at 8:30 PM when we spent the entire day from 9 AM in college, stuck in a traffic jam, rain pouring into the car and our laptops getting soaked, abusing a lot of people, wow, a amazing day.
2:The first session with the owner of the college and how he trolled us hard by saying that we were the worst ever batch in the history of the college and that "retests" were being introduced just because of us.
3: The first class by the Ghajini [search for the post on this]
4: The first time we had to collect money for Serendipity and the following day when we were on troll mode and we were on the same mode again in the 2nd serendipity.
5:The endless torturing and picking on the Mriganko, a freak who runs like he is being chased by the ladyboys of thailand and he seems to be one.
6: Showing everyone my "magic trick"
7: Shouting out aloud the Bonbon laws and being a dick to most girls in the college by constantly trolling em, telling em to wear decent clothes and if they did would tell em all the sickest perverted jokes ever.
8: Getting to troll about with the group of 5 in college, Swati, Wasim, Nangto [prithwi] and chutiya Rahul
9:Meeting the biggest fattest whale in college and yet being one of the funniest people to be around and having a genuine heart, Sethji
10: Having a kickass time during my internship, pissing off the boss, causing all sorts of havoc and not working.
11:Watching the Nangto dance about like there is no stopping him, the best dancer ever in the college, all bow down to the king.
As the final day dawns on me, us, the people who have started being slaves to organizations and companies , we all feel the same, work is not what its all cracked up to be.
While we all thought of earning money and having our own freedom in thinking and decision making, we are still slaves in a system, especially since we are freshers having no idea of what work actually is and how trolly people can be on newbies.
Its torturous, its laborious,its typical work.
While we all bitched about how pathetic college was, it seems that the theory of relativity crops up again.
Nursery>KG>Primary School>Secondary School>Graduation>Post Graduation>Work.
Work sucks, college didn't.
Oh to go back again, how the fuck did I grow up so fast?
22 years in a blink, 40 more years of crummy work.
Life trolls us all.
Especially since I had just finished a laborious 3 year slog to get my degree, graduation was done, it was time for a post graduation course. Shuddering a lot since this was a "professional" institute, meaning, no bunking, no breaks, long hours and wearing corporate clothes and having corporate etiquette, where the fuck was I going? What the fuck was I going to do for 2 years.
Dressed to kill and not wanting to leave my humble yet comfortable abode, the journey to reach the said institute was a long one, starting early in the morning with the pixies still have laid their dust in my eyes, wiping them away, having a morning constitutional and making my breakfast, easy take? Not for one who would stay awake till the stars were bright at night and the howling dogs would have slept in the cool breeze of an open world, here I was about to begin the journey which would ultimately lead me to a closed world where I could still explore a lot more than expected, ironic.
The destination reached, making my way up a mountain of stairs, a little fear , a little excitement but not a lot of happiness. Who wants to gain more knowledge about stuff they don't like? This was not going to be a oration for 2 years about football, gaming or music, rather about marketing, finance and HR.
The stairs led me up to a huge room, with 180 trapped souls all either baying to be let out from the torture or just to get over with the day, fortunately meeting my brother, long lost saved my soul for the coming 2 years... I was sure these 2 years would be hell on earth, how wrong I was.
Fast forward to present day and tomorrow is my final day of reckoning in the institute, while some of us have been absorbed by the torture called as work, I would suggest those who still have a few days left before joining to enjoy each day, as once work starts, there is no coming back, there is no life, that is life for 40 or so years.
While this post starts off in a very sad tone, its time to rejoice for the moments that made it a quite extraordinary 2 years with some kickass friends.
1: The first day, returning home in a taxi at 8:30 PM when we spent the entire day from 9 AM in college, stuck in a traffic jam, rain pouring into the car and our laptops getting soaked, abusing a lot of people, wow, a amazing day.
2:The first session with the owner of the college and how he trolled us hard by saying that we were the worst ever batch in the history of the college and that "retests" were being introduced just because of us.
3: The first class by the Ghajini [search for the post on this]
4: The first time we had to collect money for Serendipity and the following day when we were on troll mode and we were on the same mode again in the 2nd serendipity.
5:The endless torturing and picking on the Mriganko, a freak who runs like he is being chased by the ladyboys of thailand and he seems to be one.
6: Showing everyone my "magic trick"
7: Shouting out aloud the Bonbon laws and being a dick to most girls in the college by constantly trolling em, telling em to wear decent clothes and if they did would tell em all the sickest perverted jokes ever.
8: Getting to troll about with the group of 5 in college, Swati, Wasim, Nangto [prithwi] and chutiya Rahul
9:Meeting the biggest fattest whale in college and yet being one of the funniest people to be around and having a genuine heart, Sethji
10: Having a kickass time during my internship, pissing off the boss, causing all sorts of havoc and not working.
11:Watching the Nangto dance about like there is no stopping him, the best dancer ever in the college, all bow down to the king.
As the final day dawns on me, us, the people who have started being slaves to organizations and companies , we all feel the same, work is not what its all cracked up to be.
While we all thought of earning money and having our own freedom in thinking and decision making, we are still slaves in a system, especially since we are freshers having no idea of what work actually is and how trolly people can be on newbies.
Its torturous, its laborious,its typical work.
While we all bitched about how pathetic college was, it seems that the theory of relativity crops up again.
Nursery>KG>Primary School>Secondary School>Graduation>Post Graduation>Work.
Work sucks, college didn't.
Oh to go back again, how the fuck did I grow up so fast?
22 years in a blink, 40 more years of crummy work.
Life trolls us all.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
The start of something new
The new year never starts off with a bang, at least not for me. For the past 22 years its always been the same crap, meeting up with friends and ushering a new year which will be just as crappy as it used to be.
This year however things are a changing, coz I be working now. No more crap about going to college and taking notes in class, no more examinations where last minute mugging will get me the marks to pass. Hell no its time to really graduate and move out.
Joining a company, whose name I shall not divulge since its value might go down , sarcasm, is a scary proposition, especially for a guy like me who has probably never had more than 2 days in a row where he has not cracked a shit stupid joke or made someone laugh. Behaving in a proper disciplined manner is hard especially in a new organization, well the thing basically is, one month of scouting people, 2nd month of taking em down, one at a time , like I did in college.
The day comes and I reach on time with the other folks, for once no one is late and well heading into an office without the stupid "intern" tag is a relief, the office and building is magnificent, the lift is awesome as hell and fast. The people more importantly are genuinely good, you know sometimes in an organization people are out to get you since you are the newbie , like a breaking in ceremony, its not the same here.
Everyone is helpful, cheerful[for now, wait till the deadlines come],happy and all. The induction process as whole is a great deal of top level people and telling us about the various functions in the organization which means I still have to write a lotta stuff and continue learning here, fortunately the learning here is good and it will actually be of some use in the future for sure.
The timing is not bad either, I gotta be there by 9 , my house is like 15 minutes away by transport, not much of an issue and I get to leave by 7 ish, so pretty good for a first organization, while these are some of the trivial technical issues, the more important things are,
The toilet, you know my laws are there and the 11th Law states : You are only comfortable in that office/residence/institution when you can shit there comfortably.
So I am always on the lookout for good dump holes and this organization at least in the 5th floor has a kickass toilet which has already lost its "virginity" the 10th floor one where I will be working is not upto the standards, so when I need to dump off, off to the 5th floor I shall go.
The other important thing is that there is free foooooood, I get free fucking lunch that too from 2 different vendors who each provide 3 options for non veg everyday and you can set the menu before hand for the next week, amazing!!!!
The other jitters would be about my boss but fortunately again my boss, so far, touch wood, fingers crossed and all , has been really helpful, yes I do piss him off once in a while but he has been really helpful, for once I don't have to go through the STB tirade and all , maybe for once I could do the STB thingy on some people and really teach em a thing or two, I wont but its always nice to have an option.
So there you have it, my first week at work, not a lot of responsibilities as of yet, still going through training,the Lord is on my side for this one, hopefully I will have a decent enough time here and enjoy as many years as I possibly can.
Oh and I got my first debit card today, thats right bitches, I be earning and burning dough from February onwards, oh yeah!
This year however things are a changing, coz I be working now. No more crap about going to college and taking notes in class, no more examinations where last minute mugging will get me the marks to pass. Hell no its time to really graduate and move out.
Joining a company, whose name I shall not divulge since its value might go down , sarcasm, is a scary proposition, especially for a guy like me who has probably never had more than 2 days in a row where he has not cracked a shit stupid joke or made someone laugh. Behaving in a proper disciplined manner is hard especially in a new organization, well the thing basically is, one month of scouting people, 2nd month of taking em down, one at a time , like I did in college.
The day comes and I reach on time with the other folks, for once no one is late and well heading into an office without the stupid "intern" tag is a relief, the office and building is magnificent, the lift is awesome as hell and fast. The people more importantly are genuinely good, you know sometimes in an organization people are out to get you since you are the newbie , like a breaking in ceremony, its not the same here.
Everyone is helpful, cheerful[for now, wait till the deadlines come],happy and all. The induction process as whole is a great deal of top level people and telling us about the various functions in the organization which means I still have to write a lotta stuff and continue learning here, fortunately the learning here is good and it will actually be of some use in the future for sure.
The timing is not bad either, I gotta be there by 9 , my house is like 15 minutes away by transport, not much of an issue and I get to leave by 7 ish, so pretty good for a first organization, while these are some of the trivial technical issues, the more important things are,
The toilet, you know my laws are there and the 11th Law states : You are only comfortable in that office/residence/institution when you can shit there comfortably.
So I am always on the lookout for good dump holes and this organization at least in the 5th floor has a kickass toilet which has already lost its "virginity" the 10th floor one where I will be working is not upto the standards, so when I need to dump off, off to the 5th floor I shall go.
The other important thing is that there is free foooooood, I get free fucking lunch that too from 2 different vendors who each provide 3 options for non veg everyday and you can set the menu before hand for the next week, amazing!!!!
The other jitters would be about my boss but fortunately again my boss, so far, touch wood, fingers crossed and all , has been really helpful, yes I do piss him off once in a while but he has been really helpful, for once I don't have to go through the STB tirade and all , maybe for once I could do the STB thingy on some people and really teach em a thing or two, I wont but its always nice to have an option.
So there you have it, my first week at work, not a lot of responsibilities as of yet, still going through training,the Lord is on my side for this one, hopefully I will have a decent enough time here and enjoy as many years as I possibly can.
Oh and I got my first debit card today, thats right bitches, I be earning and burning dough from February onwards, oh yeah!
Saturday, May 7, 2011
All work and no pay....off
Summer internship, an introduction to the life that is to be for the next 40 odd years at least, I knew this was not going to be a walk in the park , that it would probably be a tough harrowing experience but what I and a few of my mates have been through in the past couple of weeks may have left us all scarred,badly, for the rest of our lives.
Going to a real estate company was never my first choice but we were forcefully placed into that company even though our interview sucked ass, so with bated breath the first day came, which ended up with us spending time with the Hr madam who was chatting with us the entire day but made us sit from 10 AM to 6 PM with nothing constructive done in between barring us learning about her and us learning more about each other, 6 other students were doing their SIP from the company as well.
The office however is bloody small and the 6 of us are forced into a cubile which is no more than 6X8 feet , maybe even smaller, we can barely move about and also the AC does not work well and makes the place stuffy.
The next day we got our project briefing, to understand the project we needed around 5 tries , we thought we were to find out why some flats weren't selling, then we were to find out the positives and negative points of the flats, then we were supposed to actually make the marketing strategy of the said plots and now it seems we have to generate leads to sell the flats.
While this might seem alright the biggest problem has been the fact that all 6 of us have been given individual projects with some of us barely having any knowledge of the area, geography and road map of Calcutta, especially ME, so while i got a brilliant set of projects near the Nayabad, Naredrapur area( which is a village is most senses). I had no idea of how to get these, well frankly I had never heard of these places before as well, thankfully we students on our own decided that each one of us would accompany the other to reach the said destination, when I reached mine, with absolutely no help from the company I had to find and locate my place, which meant traveling in the metro which took me another 30 minutes from my office , then it took me a total of 30 minutes more via walking and auto to find my place, a shoddy desolate place with barely anything worth talking , why anyone would want to shift here is beyond me and what would I be able to glorify and present here would be a real challenge for God , let alone a mortal like me.
While these site visits weren't fun but it was a part of the job which most of us were, in fact all of us were doing everyday,the traveling does at a price, monetarily and physically,I have spent nearly 1000 Rs in a week to cover so much distance also I have gotten massively sunburnt and gone 2-3 shades darker, then recently,yesterday in fact, while we all planned to go to another site visit we were told to stay in office so that our MD would brief us, the HR lady told us to eat our lunch and come back.
She even went to an extent of scaring us, when the briefing started he said
"I am very disappointed with the way you have worked and if you continue like this I will have no hesitation to sack you, if you make a mistake in the next 15 days you will get the sack"
We were thinking WTF is going on?
while the boss had a real go at glorifying himself as to how he helped LG recover its sales, how he built a telecom giant, how he knows what each one of us is thinking, why all the cell phones have rounded edges, how he got a corolla for free, how his salary was aournd 20 crore plus and he still gave up the job, etc etc etc.
After the bashing we were asked to leave the office and come back on a saturday, a day when we have no work in a real estate company because everyone is busy chatting away to clients or taking them to site visits, oh and I remember we were also asked now by the MD to find clients for the flats which means scoping and surveying the area within a radius of 10-15 kms of my location. Its a freaking village no one has 20 lakhs to buy any flat. Back to the point, now that we leave the office and are waiting outside worried that we may not get our clearance certificate, the MD's wife comes out and shouts at us while we are standing on the street as to "what are you people doing here?", like she owns the place, that was the last straw.
Called a cab, the 5 of us, off we went to our college and started hammering away at our cell which got us placed and all the teachers present there, after an hour of crying and shouting foul we understand that nothing can be done and that we are stuck here for a good while,2 months to be exact, nothing can be done and we must somehow survive. Every teacher was saying "this is part and parcel of life, don't worry this too shall pass" and all of em crummy lines which we hear again and again.
Cut to today,saturday, all of us are pissed to say the least the HR comes up today like nothing has happened and she tells us that the boss is like that and nothing can be done, everyone gets a lashing almost on a daily basis and that we shouldn't worry about it and that we would all be there right until the end of the 2 months.
While people told me that this SIP would be a learning experience, all I have learned is how to burn a hole in my pocket and travel to remote desolate areas of the city.
All work and no pay/play makes Adeem a very pissed off man.
Going to a real estate company was never my first choice but we were forcefully placed into that company even though our interview sucked ass, so with bated breath the first day came, which ended up with us spending time with the Hr madam who was chatting with us the entire day but made us sit from 10 AM to 6 PM with nothing constructive done in between barring us learning about her and us learning more about each other, 6 other students were doing their SIP from the company as well.
The office however is bloody small and the 6 of us are forced into a cubile which is no more than 6X8 feet , maybe even smaller, we can barely move about and also the AC does not work well and makes the place stuffy.
The next day we got our project briefing, to understand the project we needed around 5 tries , we thought we were to find out why some flats weren't selling, then we were to find out the positives and negative points of the flats, then we were supposed to actually make the marketing strategy of the said plots and now it seems we have to generate leads to sell the flats.
While this might seem alright the biggest problem has been the fact that all 6 of us have been given individual projects with some of us barely having any knowledge of the area, geography and road map of Calcutta, especially ME, so while i got a brilliant set of projects near the Nayabad, Naredrapur area( which is a village is most senses). I had no idea of how to get these, well frankly I had never heard of these places before as well, thankfully we students on our own decided that each one of us would accompany the other to reach the said destination, when I reached mine, with absolutely no help from the company I had to find and locate my place, which meant traveling in the metro which took me another 30 minutes from my office , then it took me a total of 30 minutes more via walking and auto to find my place, a shoddy desolate place with barely anything worth talking , why anyone would want to shift here is beyond me and what would I be able to glorify and present here would be a real challenge for God , let alone a mortal like me.
While these site visits weren't fun but it was a part of the job which most of us were, in fact all of us were doing everyday,the traveling does at a price, monetarily and physically,I have spent nearly 1000 Rs in a week to cover so much distance also I have gotten massively sunburnt and gone 2-3 shades darker, then recently,yesterday in fact, while we all planned to go to another site visit we were told to stay in office so that our MD would brief us, the HR lady told us to eat our lunch and come back.
She even went to an extent of scaring us, when the briefing started he said
"I am very disappointed with the way you have worked and if you continue like this I will have no hesitation to sack you, if you make a mistake in the next 15 days you will get the sack"
We were thinking WTF is going on?
while the boss had a real go at glorifying himself as to how he helped LG recover its sales, how he built a telecom giant, how he knows what each one of us is thinking, why all the cell phones have rounded edges, how he got a corolla for free, how his salary was aournd 20 crore plus and he still gave up the job, etc etc etc.
After the bashing we were asked to leave the office and come back on a saturday, a day when we have no work in a real estate company because everyone is busy chatting away to clients or taking them to site visits, oh and I remember we were also asked now by the MD to find clients for the flats which means scoping and surveying the area within a radius of 10-15 kms of my location. Its a freaking village no one has 20 lakhs to buy any flat. Back to the point, now that we leave the office and are waiting outside worried that we may not get our clearance certificate, the MD's wife comes out and shouts at us while we are standing on the street as to "what are you people doing here?", like she owns the place, that was the last straw.
Called a cab, the 5 of us, off we went to our college and started hammering away at our cell which got us placed and all the teachers present there, after an hour of crying and shouting foul we understand that nothing can be done and that we are stuck here for a good while,2 months to be exact, nothing can be done and we must somehow survive. Every teacher was saying "this is part and parcel of life, don't worry this too shall pass" and all of em crummy lines which we hear again and again.
Cut to today,saturday, all of us are pissed to say the least the HR comes up today like nothing has happened and she tells us that the boss is like that and nothing can be done, everyone gets a lashing almost on a daily basis and that we shouldn't worry about it and that we would all be there right until the end of the 2 months.
While people told me that this SIP would be a learning experience, all I have learned is how to burn a hole in my pocket and travel to remote desolate areas of the city.
All work and no pay/play makes Adeem a very pissed off man.
Monday, May 2, 2011
The Theory of Relativity
Almost 18 years ago , a certain Saiyed Adeem Karim started attending pre school, which was fun as the said lad had nothing much to do in school. Waste time away, play with a ton of toys, a little introduction of alphabets and numbers, nothing too strenuous.
School was not all that bad back then, it was fun , easy and most importantly fun, I know i put "fun" in twice, I can't remember what happened a few weeks ago let alone something that was almost 2 decades ago. The fact is that school was fun.
Then started the crap and oh dear lord how I started hating school, the homework , the heavy bag, the screwing me over with the timings, in Calcutta, school was from 7:30 AM till 1 PM, but in Dubai it was from 12:30 PM to 6:30 PM,my initial reaction was that of astonishment and resent as to how I would come back home on a regular basis after my dad and after the friggin sun sets.
Resentment, then came school in Calcutta , AGAIN, this time it was St Thomas Boys , most of the regular readers would know how much I was tormented and tortured during the initial years at STB and how I broke down into tears for the only time in my life due to some emotional crap that was thrown at me,when I was in STB , how much I missed the school in Dubai,Our Own English High School was heaven, literally and STB was hell, passing out of STB though was fun, I wont lie , STB taught me a lot and gave me my best friends, and of course taught me how to abuse ,kidderpore style.
Then came Techno India, college life promised so much and I ended up with almost 5% of what was promised, hot chicks? Nope, Cool Classes, BCA? WTF was I thinking?, Bunking? and go where? everything near college was miles away,Great Like minded FRIENDS?, just one, again I thank lord i found one of my best pals in this college as well,and now damn I missed STB and I still do , a lot, the only good thing to come out from the 3 years was Subhajit, one of my best pals and then the fact that I barely went to college in the 3rd year.
The came Globsyn, again I thank the lord I found my long lost brother here and a few brilliant friends, but again the whole MBA college being fun was a ton of crap and as usual I would have gone back to Techno India in a jiffy.
Now its summer internship time, first job of my life, and as usual the expectations don't match up to reality, work is hard, maybe because we are interns for like 2 months max but man work is hard, its barely enjoyable , although that could be because of the fact that I don't like working for real estate but still these 2 months are gonna be torturous there still is hope though as IF and a big IF I do go to an office or a job that I do like maybe life will be better and again as the topic says, life was better in the classrooms of GBS , the fun,madness and masti is totally missed.
Life often is portrayed in a different way and what we get is completely different , I always hated whatever institute I was in but as soon as I moved away from one place to another, the former place was always better than the latter, hence the theory of relativity proved!
Pre School > Primary School >STB >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> College life >College MBA life > Work?
Of course one thing I would like to point out,if I had a choice to go back to any of these phases,lets leave work out for the future, STB would be the one stage I would pick,that madness can and never will be repeated
STB STB!!
Jeet ke aaoge!
School was not all that bad back then, it was fun , easy and most importantly fun, I know i put "fun" in twice, I can't remember what happened a few weeks ago let alone something that was almost 2 decades ago. The fact is that school was fun.
Then started the crap and oh dear lord how I started hating school, the homework , the heavy bag, the screwing me over with the timings, in Calcutta, school was from 7:30 AM till 1 PM, but in Dubai it was from 12:30 PM to 6:30 PM,my initial reaction was that of astonishment and resent as to how I would come back home on a regular basis after my dad and after the friggin sun sets.
Resentment, then came school in Calcutta , AGAIN, this time it was St Thomas Boys , most of the regular readers would know how much I was tormented and tortured during the initial years at STB and how I broke down into tears for the only time in my life due to some emotional crap that was thrown at me,when I was in STB , how much I missed the school in Dubai,Our Own English High School was heaven, literally and STB was hell, passing out of STB though was fun, I wont lie , STB taught me a lot and gave me my best friends, and of course taught me how to abuse ,kidderpore style.
Then came Techno India, college life promised so much and I ended up with almost 5% of what was promised, hot chicks? Nope, Cool Classes, BCA? WTF was I thinking?, Bunking? and go where? everything near college was miles away,Great Like minded FRIENDS?, just one, again I thank lord i found one of my best pals in this college as well,and now damn I missed STB and I still do , a lot, the only good thing to come out from the 3 years was Subhajit, one of my best pals and then the fact that I barely went to college in the 3rd year.
The came Globsyn, again I thank the lord I found my long lost brother here and a few brilliant friends, but again the whole MBA college being fun was a ton of crap and as usual I would have gone back to Techno India in a jiffy.
Now its summer internship time, first job of my life, and as usual the expectations don't match up to reality, work is hard, maybe because we are interns for like 2 months max but man work is hard, its barely enjoyable , although that could be because of the fact that I don't like working for real estate but still these 2 months are gonna be torturous there still is hope though as IF and a big IF I do go to an office or a job that I do like maybe life will be better and again as the topic says, life was better in the classrooms of GBS , the fun,madness and masti is totally missed.
Life often is portrayed in a different way and what we get is completely different , I always hated whatever institute I was in but as soon as I moved away from one place to another, the former place was always better than the latter, hence the theory of relativity proved!
Pre School > Primary School >STB >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> College life >College MBA life > Work?
Of course one thing I would like to point out,if I had a choice to go back to any of these phases,lets leave work out for the future, STB would be the one stage I would pick,that madness can and never will be repeated
STB STB!!
Jeet ke aaoge!
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