Exactly 10 years ago I had returned back to the city of joy from my long tryst in the desert kingdom which I had grown to love over the 7 years I had spent there, starting a new journey here was never easy, shifting to a completely different country, meeting new people and relatives, trying to make friends and holy crap adjusting to a school without Air conditioning, life was tough, hell it was hell for quite a few days, you get a gist of the crap I have been through from my earlier posts, check out the earliest ones for the best stories.
So around 6 years I shifted to my new residence and since rooms got bigger , accommodating friends was no big deal, in fact this gave to the rise in the massive number of sleepovers, check out "sleepover" for a brief history of the same. This get together would involve a few friends staying over at my place, staying up late and eating a ton of food, drinking a ton of cola and abusing and sharing a ton of kickass stories since all of us were crazy enough to have crazy stories which we had to share.
The Nagu, Babla, Chintoo and I, the ultimate crazy group with a ton of nonsense to spread and cherish, those were the days of college stories, women,football, goofs, chutiyapanti , you get the drift.
Recently we had another sleepover, with all 4 of us present , Chintoo came up with a very important point,
"This could, actually it is the last proper sleepover we may EVER have"
Alas, it is the end of a journey, Chintoo is off to the US for 5 years to study and get his PhD, Nagu is off to Ahmedabad to work and Babla is busy touring the country, 5 years from now who knows what life holds for us all. Nothing will ever be the same again, its been a kick ass journey from college to work, while work may suck, its the weekends which people remember and it still is the same for us now, the last sleepover, the journey ends, we move on to another story of life its just this chapter which ends and which marriage beckoning for at least a few of us the story called the Sleepover , the activity, the long nights, the long stories we kept in just to share with one another over a few bottles of soda and ice cream , the abuses we sprayed on people and one another while the clock would strike 3 AM will now rest in memories.
Thou were a great friend, sleepover, thou shalt never be forgotten.
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Punked Punked and oh yeah PUNKED!
Us friends have created a sorta ritual,whenever chintoo lee is in town ,we guys have a good old night out,no different this time,we go to park street in the evening,have dinner some where and then go to Someplace Else to catch the band that is playing ,its always Hip Pocket as its Nagu's sir's band and they more or less are always spot on with their music and song list.
This year also we decided to do the same,this time we werent with babla or manko ,it was sumitano,nagu ,chintoo and me,this time we went to park street as usual and we decided to do something different from usual,rather than going to some chinky place ,nagu suggested we go to Mocambo,continental cuisine,we reached music world at 7 and Nagu went and wrote our name down in the register,they told us to come back in around an hour
At 8 we went to Mocambo and the bloke said ,another few minutes,those "few" minutes was like an hour,families were going in one by one but us 4 guys were out just because we werent "family" we had to wait,i can easily say my friends are fucking better family than most relatives i have,although the time did fly by coz all of us had some thing to share which was crazy and funny,i find it odd that non family groups,rather groups without females were made to wait for so long and all,anyways,we entered,got seated and started reading the menu.
Most of us were there to eat the Beef steak,probably the best in town,while chintoo decided to take the lasagna ,nagu wanted some appetizer ,so while i was on the phone and nagu was distracted,chintoo ordered a prawn and crab cocktail,we were hoping that we would have to dip the sea food in some sauce,but a few minutes later we got......
Two bowls with white liquid,now we are confused,what is this,so we dig in and taste it,wtf its mayonnaise ?....we paid 200 bucks for mayonnaise,we dig deeper and we find its with prawns and crab meat,and we gobble it down and then later when we reach the bottom off the bowls we get a nasty after taste,like way bitter,then we realize,we had to mix the bowl well as Vodka was at the base,fucking hell there goes my plan of not having a sip of alcohol for the rest of my life,damn fucking asshole Chintoo just bought me a direct ticket to hell for Betray of Religion,i was going there any way but still,i wanted to go there in my own terms....
Thats the first punked
The 2nd one starts now
We go to Someplace Else where Hip Pocket were to play and we see that they have a new keyboardist and a guitarist as well,a young kid was on the guitar,young compared to the other members of the band,so the gig starts and they start off with some slow easy numbers nothing with The Doors or Pink floyd,the typical Hip Pocket list was not there,boring song list,people getting disinterested and the songs sounded way off,i mean i know i aint a genius in music or that i have heard all the songs before but every song sounded way way wrong ,and after around 5 songs we left in a hurry,really pissed about the music.
Punked twice
Now we decide to have some ice cream so we go to the nearby Swirls outlet and i as usual decide to have a thunderstorm swirls,my 3rd one in 3 days and 4th one in the last 7 days :D,nagu has the new cookie and cream swirls and sumitano and chintoo have some cone dipped in chocolate with vanilla soft ice cream,the damn bastards at the outlet made such pathetic soft creams,bloody it was runny like my nose when i have a bad cold,and fucking hell they even gave very little chocolate chips and nuts in the swirl itself
Thrice.
However one good news did come out from the day about Liverpool FC,and chintoo did get a brand new set of headphones,so alls well that ends well i guess,but man that cocktail shit was pathetic from our side.
This year also we decided to do the same,this time we werent with babla or manko ,it was sumitano,nagu ,chintoo and me,this time we went to park street as usual and we decided to do something different from usual,rather than going to some chinky place ,nagu suggested we go to Mocambo,continental cuisine,we reached music world at 7 and Nagu went and wrote our name down in the register,they told us to come back in around an hour
At 8 we went to Mocambo and the bloke said ,another few minutes,those "few" minutes was like an hour,families were going in one by one but us 4 guys were out just because we werent "family" we had to wait,i can easily say my friends are fucking better family than most relatives i have,although the time did fly by coz all of us had some thing to share which was crazy and funny,i find it odd that non family groups,rather groups without females were made to wait for so long and all,anyways,we entered,got seated and started reading the menu.
Most of us were there to eat the Beef steak,probably the best in town,while chintoo decided to take the lasagna ,nagu wanted some appetizer ,so while i was on the phone and nagu was distracted,chintoo ordered a prawn and crab cocktail,we were hoping that we would have to dip the sea food in some sauce,but a few minutes later we got......
Two bowls with white liquid,now we are confused,what is this,so we dig in and taste it,wtf its mayonnaise ?....we paid 200 bucks for mayonnaise,we dig deeper and we find its with prawns and crab meat,and we gobble it down and then later when we reach the bottom off the bowls we get a nasty after taste,like way bitter,then we realize,we had to mix the bowl well as Vodka was at the base,fucking hell there goes my plan of not having a sip of alcohol for the rest of my life,damn fucking asshole Chintoo just bought me a direct ticket to hell for Betray of Religion,i was going there any way but still,i wanted to go there in my own terms....
Thats the first punked
The 2nd one starts now
We go to Someplace Else where Hip Pocket were to play and we see that they have a new keyboardist and a guitarist as well,a young kid was on the guitar,young compared to the other members of the band,so the gig starts and they start off with some slow easy numbers nothing with The Doors or Pink floyd,the typical Hip Pocket list was not there,boring song list,people getting disinterested and the songs sounded way off,i mean i know i aint a genius in music or that i have heard all the songs before but every song sounded way way wrong ,and after around 5 songs we left in a hurry,really pissed about the music.
Punked twice
Now we decide to have some ice cream so we go to the nearby Swirls outlet and i as usual decide to have a thunderstorm swirls,my 3rd one in 3 days and 4th one in the last 7 days :D,nagu has the new cookie and cream swirls and sumitano and chintoo have some cone dipped in chocolate with vanilla soft ice cream,the damn bastards at the outlet made such pathetic soft creams,bloody it was runny like my nose when i have a bad cold,and fucking hell they even gave very little chocolate chips and nuts in the swirl itself
Thrice.
However one good news did come out from the day about Liverpool FC,and chintoo did get a brand new set of headphones,so alls well that ends well i guess,but man that cocktail shit was pathetic from our side.
Kaju
Normally i dont go pandal hopping during em puja's,i am way too lazy for that,but this year was a completely different story.
My best friend Rohit "chintoo" Sarkar comes to town only once a year as now he studies his ass off in Suratkal and he barely gets holidays ,so every year during the puja's he bunks one week and then we [as in the group] meet up,plus to add to the occasion ,i barely get any holidays from my new B college and this one week in 2010 was the only time i was gonna meet Chintoo.
So off we went for a bit of pandal hopping,ahh the sweaty people all around,the children running and bumping into people,the loud noise,what a perfect advertisement for the city of calcutta,so its around 11 when i meet chintoo,nagu and sumit,who shall now be referred to as sumitano from now on.
We travel to quite a few pandals in kidderpore and of course one of the best themed pandals was in badamtala,but this blog isnt about the pandals,oh no,its more about the "kaju" experience.
So lets get the situation in place,nagu is hungry and before we can have lunch we decide to have a snack so off we go to KC Das ,near South city and we are at the counter but we arent getting any service whatsoever ,we tell nagu to tell the old bloke at the counter about our order but he just refuses to listen to nagu
so i tell him
"Nagu,show him some cleavage"
he didnt and after another 10 minutes of waiting and no service we leave in a huff,still in hunger mode though
so after a few more pandals we go to a roadside sweet shop,where nagu asks for a couple of laddoos,now the laddoos had like a kaju split in half on the top,and nagu gets both the laddoos on one of em paper plates,the ones where they put the water for the puchkas.
So sumit or nagu had one of the half kaju's and chintoo was trying to half the other,me on the other hand wanted the kaju as well so as soon as chintoo tried to lift the kaju from the laddoo i screamed
"KAAAAAAJJJJJJJJJJUUUUUUUUU"
and tried to grab it,but..........
Chintoo didnt expect a scream,up went his hand and one laddoo in the air,now nagu has one laddoo in the plate but he wants to try and save the other laddoo so he tries to save that,when his hand hits mine and now the second laddoo is in the air and the three of us are trying to save the laddoos,rohit almost had it,so did i and nagu was the same slow dim witted freak that he is,but alas both the laddoos were on the ground and the shop owner was bloody angry at us,so we ran away from the place with screams of laughter at the "kaju" problem
Next we went to another place and nagu wants to have em radha balavis and asks the owner,if there were any kajus in em and of course he kept the plate away from me.
My best friend Rohit "chintoo" Sarkar comes to town only once a year as now he studies his ass off in Suratkal and he barely gets holidays ,so every year during the puja's he bunks one week and then we [as in the group] meet up,plus to add to the occasion ,i barely get any holidays from my new B college and this one week in 2010 was the only time i was gonna meet Chintoo.
So off we went for a bit of pandal hopping,ahh the sweaty people all around,the children running and bumping into people,the loud noise,what a perfect advertisement for the city of calcutta,so its around 11 when i meet chintoo,nagu and sumit,who shall now be referred to as sumitano from now on.
We travel to quite a few pandals in kidderpore and of course one of the best themed pandals was in badamtala,but this blog isnt about the pandals,oh no,its more about the "kaju" experience.
So lets get the situation in place,nagu is hungry and before we can have lunch we decide to have a snack so off we go to KC Das ,near South city and we are at the counter but we arent getting any service whatsoever ,we tell nagu to tell the old bloke at the counter about our order but he just refuses to listen to nagu
so i tell him
"Nagu,show him some cleavage"
he didnt and after another 10 minutes of waiting and no service we leave in a huff,still in hunger mode though
so after a few more pandals we go to a roadside sweet shop,where nagu asks for a couple of laddoos,now the laddoos had like a kaju split in half on the top,and nagu gets both the laddoos on one of em paper plates,the ones where they put the water for the puchkas.
So sumit or nagu had one of the half kaju's and chintoo was trying to half the other,me on the other hand wanted the kaju as well so as soon as chintoo tried to lift the kaju from the laddoo i screamed
"KAAAAAAJJJJJJJJJJUUUUUUUUU"
and tried to grab it,but..........
Chintoo didnt expect a scream,up went his hand and one laddoo in the air,now nagu has one laddoo in the plate but he wants to try and save the other laddoo so he tries to save that,when his hand hits mine and now the second laddoo is in the air and the three of us are trying to save the laddoos,rohit almost had it,so did i and nagu was the same slow dim witted freak that he is,but alas both the laddoos were on the ground and the shop owner was bloody angry at us,so we ran away from the place with screams of laughter at the "kaju" problem
Next we went to another place and nagu wants to have em radha balavis and asks the owner,if there were any kajus in em and of course he kept the plate away from me.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Manko Man
I know i havent updated my blog in a while but that's because my exams were on,ok there were only like 2 exams but still the minimal amount of Bengali in me pops out during em exams and also the World cup was on.
Back to the topic,The 4th extendeble member of the group is Somanko Bhattacharya,no relation to Babla,[Soumyadeep Bhattacharya] although Babla has been pestering Manko[Somanko] about them being relatives in the future,read their children marry each other no matter what sex they are,he gets really upset about this babla manko "rishtedaaree".
I first came across manko in class 10,Babla had bought him over to my place and we played my beautiful ps2 all day long,that was the start of something special,manko me and the ps2 ,fucking amazing gaming sessions would take place,especially WWE Smackdown ,Fifa and then when my fifa dvd's would get busted pro evo soccer.The best bits were when i would commit fouls in the game and the fucktard ref wouldnt give him a foul,he would trun red in anger
"Adeeeeem ,i wont play if you cheat and play dirty"
I would just snicker like mutley and continue doing so,the oh so bloody brilliant lunge from behind right when his striker is through on goal and more often than not the ref would just give a free kick or something,Red manko ,in fact after all these pro evo games i started calling him vicious coz he would lose his temper whenever i would play dirty and he still gets pissed if someone calls him "Vicious",i dare you people to try it,however i wont be responsible for the viciousness of Vicious.
One such amazing game took place in Fifa 07,it was a good old fashioned Liverpool VS Manu game,and it was 2-1 to me with like 80 minutes gone,85 mins Manko equalizes,89 mins i run straight from the kick off and score,3-2,91 minutes gone and manko gets a free kick outside the box and scores a stunner,94th minute i get a free kick and i [rather harry kewell] curles a stunner into the next,and then i start the expletives,to go back to those days.
And of course since the bloke is bengali he must ,and i mean must have a pet name,Tiga= Chintoo,Babla and Nagu,so now Manko = Dushtu,and again he hates being called that from his friends but we all do call him Dushtu only when we need to piss him off,which is almost every time we or at least every time i meet him.Not to forget since he is a bong he like every other bong has a special power called "Bengali mode" ,during this phase ,studies is the only important thing for him and his family,more often than not this mode is on during the exams,which means no TV,no computer ,no enjoyment and all.Fortunately my Bengali mode is less severe than that of Manko's and Babla's,they act like they got wiped off the face of the earth.
Talking about studies and the like ,the bloke shifted from my locality to half way across the city to study in ,get this,Narula Institute of Technology,now of course i cant let him live it down,so i call the college "Jaspinder Narula Institute of Technology" which again pisses him off a lot,but its not something i can rectify,i piss almost everyone off,thats my nature,but the college was named after the wife of the founder who is/was Jodh Singh.Chod Singh as i refer to it.
Another of the manc army in India,i remember a huge prank that was played on a couple of manc's ,twas in class 9 or 10 and we were discussing about the founder of Malchoda united [man united] ,a ton of these anti manu guys came up with the name Anderson Fatilla,a brilliant Swedish striker who founder Manu way back when,and these 2 pricks believed it,again he gets really upset about the Fatilla episode,he does ask me about transfer news once a while to which my response is
"Manu are bidding for Baichung Bhutia and Climax Lawrence"
He probably is the proper maagibaaz in my core group of friends,although he denies this,its so fucking obvious,his friend list and scrap book is filled with chicks,plus he only and i repeat only gets calls from girls,and he mostly calls girls during the evening,wait now i know the truth,damn Manko man is a pimp,thats why he likes being called Manko,dammit i should have found out earlier.
He also has a wide range of abuses and is a proper abuser along the likes of me and babla,one of the few people who actually can destroy babla in his own game and more often than not beats babla up a bit,i guess babla is scared of unleashing the viciousness of the Vicious Manko,on yeah Vicious Bhattacharya is Manko's offspring's name,that i made up,he is the only friend whose kid will not be referred to as an expletive,for eg Babla's kid is Suorer Bachcha [son of a pig] and so on.
Oh yeah he is probably the only close friend of mine who actually keeps tabs on all of us,even if it means calling me and getting the shit abused out of him,aaahhh true friendship,hard to find these days.
Back to the topic,The 4th extendeble member of the group is Somanko Bhattacharya,no relation to Babla,[Soumyadeep Bhattacharya] although Babla has been pestering Manko[Somanko] about them being relatives in the future,read their children marry each other no matter what sex they are,he gets really upset about this babla manko "rishtedaaree".
I first came across manko in class 10,Babla had bought him over to my place and we played my beautiful ps2 all day long,that was the start of something special,manko me and the ps2 ,fucking amazing gaming sessions would take place,especially WWE Smackdown ,Fifa and then when my fifa dvd's would get busted pro evo soccer.The best bits were when i would commit fouls in the game and the fucktard ref wouldnt give him a foul,he would trun red in anger
"Adeeeeem ,i wont play if you cheat and play dirty"
I would just snicker like mutley and continue doing so,the oh so bloody brilliant lunge from behind right when his striker is through on goal and more often than not the ref would just give a free kick or something,Red manko ,in fact after all these pro evo games i started calling him vicious coz he would lose his temper whenever i would play dirty and he still gets pissed if someone calls him "Vicious",i dare you people to try it,however i wont be responsible for the viciousness of Vicious.
One such amazing game took place in Fifa 07,it was a good old fashioned Liverpool VS Manu game,and it was 2-1 to me with like 80 minutes gone,85 mins Manko equalizes,89 mins i run straight from the kick off and score,3-2,91 minutes gone and manko gets a free kick outside the box and scores a stunner,94th minute i get a free kick and i [rather harry kewell] curles a stunner into the next,and then i start the expletives,to go back to those days.
And of course since the bloke is bengali he must ,and i mean must have a pet name,Tiga= Chintoo,Babla and Nagu,so now Manko = Dushtu,and again he hates being called that from his friends but we all do call him Dushtu only when we need to piss him off,which is almost every time we or at least every time i meet him.Not to forget since he is a bong he like every other bong has a special power called "Bengali mode" ,during this phase ,studies is the only important thing for him and his family,more often than not this mode is on during the exams,which means no TV,no computer ,no enjoyment and all.Fortunately my Bengali mode is less severe than that of Manko's and Babla's,they act like they got wiped off the face of the earth.
Talking about studies and the like ,the bloke shifted from my locality to half way across the city to study in ,get this,Narula Institute of Technology,now of course i cant let him live it down,so i call the college "Jaspinder Narula Institute of Technology" which again pisses him off a lot,but its not something i can rectify,i piss almost everyone off,thats my nature,but the college was named after the wife of the founder who is/was Jodh Singh.Chod Singh as i refer to it.
Another of the manc army in India,i remember a huge prank that was played on a couple of manc's ,twas in class 9 or 10 and we were discussing about the founder of Malchoda united [man united] ,a ton of these anti manu guys came up with the name Anderson Fatilla,a brilliant Swedish striker who founder Manu way back when,and these 2 pricks believed it,again he gets really upset about the Fatilla episode,he does ask me about transfer news once a while to which my response is
"Manu are bidding for Baichung Bhutia and Climax Lawrence"
He probably is the proper maagibaaz in my core group of friends,although he denies this,its so fucking obvious,his friend list and scrap book is filled with chicks,plus he only and i repeat only gets calls from girls,and he mostly calls girls during the evening,wait now i know the truth,damn Manko man is a pimp,thats why he likes being called Manko,dammit i should have found out earlier.
He also has a wide range of abuses and is a proper abuser along the likes of me and babla,one of the few people who actually can destroy babla in his own game and more often than not beats babla up a bit,i guess babla is scared of unleashing the viciousness of the Vicious Manko,on yeah Vicious Bhattacharya is Manko's offspring's name,that i made up,he is the only friend whose kid will not be referred to as an expletive,for eg Babla's kid is Suorer Bachcha [son of a pig] and so on.
Oh yeah he is probably the only close friend of mine who actually keeps tabs on all of us,even if it means calling me and getting the shit abused out of him,aaahhh true friendship,hard to find these days.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Nagu
The 3rd member of the gang of best pals is Nagu ,aka Somraj Sarkar,this guys name was fairly easy to put together due to his mannerisms and by what he is called at home.As all of you must know by now,if you didnt already,all bengali children have a pet name,no matter how easy their name may be easy to pronounce or even if the name is something unique,every bengali kid has a pet name ,thats the rule.
So we have Babla,Rohit is called Tiga[although he is happy with the name,since it is somewhat similar to Ex Fulham manager Jean "Tiga"na,I have Bonny ,and thus Somraj being a bong has "Raja" and since the freak[and believe me he is the freakiest of the lot] would always stick his tongue out to show his disliking of anything i put 2 and 2 together and Baam Naga-raja [King cobra] was born,so to cut it down we started calling him Nagu.
The first time i met the bloke was in class 10,he used to sit behind my bench and he seemed to be a normal bloke,a proper normal guy is hard to find in my school STB,but this guy would keep his trap shut,do nothing,in fact his friend Debapratim was the one who would do all the madness between the two,so i thought he was the mellow bong kid in school who wouldnt do anything to upset people because he was afraid of getting beaten up.
Our friendship initially grew because we were in the same hindi class[wow 2 bongs taking hindi as their 2nd language,we werent able to let that pass because chintoo would have a right go at us,"Betray" and all],there was football to discuss as well,typically he is a manc cunt,but we became the best of pals due to the school band,i was asked to join and play along with nagu,babla,gablu[roshan],adil ,afzal.Nagu was the drummer and we all had our first practice i remember at Babla's Granny's but ever since that day we have always practiced at nagu's.
This bloke is probably confused about his orientation as well,from the time i remembered asking him a very important question his answer has always confused me
q:if you had a choice would you spend a night with the hottest female of your choice or your favorite drum kit?
A:Drumkit,every single fucking time.
Wow is all i can say,and plus he has never had even a go at a relationship,not even an inkling for it,again credit has to be given but since he is a retard it doesnt make it any better.
Again the other bengali characteristic pops up here,being related to music somehow or another,he is a decent drummer though,but his drumming skills and all arent the most distinguishing factor about the bloke in the group,so to recap
Babla=Abuser/Comedian,Chintoo=Geek/Wanna be tall guy,Me=I am the glue that holds the gang together,Comedian/Abuser/Catalyst/Typical Harami comment maker.
Nagu is the slow,dumb freak,now he is slow,but he isnt a freak because of that,he is the real freak because of his actions and emotions or lack of sometimes.
For eg:Some time in diwali we all were at nagu's terrace[i wasnt there] so the guys were all looking up at the sky and a few firecrackers started lighting up the sky
Nagu ,points to the sky and says casually "eh boom,.........Boom.......boom" ,pointing at every burst cracker,with no emotion at all,but he continued saying "boom" everytime something lit off.
Then there are times he tries to prove his stupidity and ignorance,chintoo,nagu and i were at chintoo's,and we were talking about our favorite author's,Chintoo had a ton of Hercule Poiree books or something,i remember making a ton of jokes on em,Agatha Christie as well,i think they were the same book,so i told em "Anon" is my favorite author,i dont read too many books barring game manuals or game magazines,so the 3 of us have a nice chuckle,then after 5 minutes nagu asks "Eh Who is Anon?",so we give him the benefit of the doubt and tell him "Anon is short for Anonymous",Nagu goes "Ohhhhh ok",5 minutes later "Eh Who is Anonymous?"
Then there was the great FA cup joke when Liverpool beat Manu 1-0 in 2006,and he is telling us the next day in school
Nagu:did you see Peter Crouch being busted open by Drogba?
Rohit:Drogba plays for Chelsea.....
Oh yeah whenever something wrong is said in front of him or he wants to interrupt someone,he makes retarded sounds from his mouth ,for eg if anyone has said some wrong fact or something he goes "eh burrrrrrrrrrr pup click clack booomp" and then he starts talking,although i think he does it to make himself the center of attention.
Normally a calm cool guy,sometimes he loses his cool and when you touch a nerve he goes berserk,if anyone constantly pisses him off,mostly me or babla he would shout out "Boka choda ,Khankeer Chele ,Khisti Khabi?"[Translation "Bak chod,Randi ka bachcha,gaali khayega?],oh and he has the strength of like 5-6 men,babla,chintoo and i cant hold him down,we tried but we fail every single time.So he is the wrong person to mess around with.
The avid footballer he is,and we are as well,so almost every alternate day at Rohit's we would play footie,Rohit + Babla,Me+Nagu+Manko,the 3 of us would be together because we didnt have skills and we all are overweight,well nagu aint but he is slow,Nagu though would make excellent runs and would invariably end up being right in front of goal,ball gets crossed and he is standing like a foot in front of the goal line,and then when you think he will finish,the finishing touch by nagu always ended with the ball hitting the roof's ledge,no goal,he did this every time we played like 15 times out of the 16 times he would have a chance at goal,thats talent.
He also sports a beard second to that of a criminal,full fledged beard + moustache combo,he even scared my cousin sister who now refers to him as "daari waala",we gifted him a shaving set on his 16 birthday i remember,he is unrecognisable when he is clean shaven ,he probably will get arrested one day for not looking like the person in his ID card or some,else a terrorist or something for sure.
Right now he is studying Architecture at BESU,he always had a dream about being an "arky" as he calls it ,i remember him being pummeled every single day by his seniors as it was part of ragging,but he couldnt rag his juniors,bloody chutia,nevertheless,his dream was always to build the roof for court where the Wimbledon finals are played,i think that dream is over as i heard the construction for the roof has begun or is finished,not sure,but i coaxed him to build ,or at least he will plan my next house,as he always reminds me,since he is an "arky" ,he will only make plans and not take part in the building process as he is not an engineer,typical lazy bastard.
So we have Babla,Rohit is called Tiga[although he is happy with the name,since it is somewhat similar to Ex Fulham manager Jean "Tiga"na,I have Bonny ,and thus Somraj being a bong has "Raja" and since the freak[and believe me he is the freakiest of the lot] would always stick his tongue out to show his disliking of anything i put 2 and 2 together and Baam Naga-raja [King cobra] was born,so to cut it down we started calling him Nagu.
The first time i met the bloke was in class 10,he used to sit behind my bench and he seemed to be a normal bloke,a proper normal guy is hard to find in my school STB,but this guy would keep his trap shut,do nothing,in fact his friend Debapratim was the one who would do all the madness between the two,so i thought he was the mellow bong kid in school who wouldnt do anything to upset people because he was afraid of getting beaten up.
Our friendship initially grew because we were in the same hindi class[wow 2 bongs taking hindi as their 2nd language,we werent able to let that pass because chintoo would have a right go at us,"Betray" and all],there was football to discuss as well,typically he is a manc cunt,but we became the best of pals due to the school band,i was asked to join and play along with nagu,babla,gablu[roshan],adil ,afzal.Nagu was the drummer and we all had our first practice i remember at Babla's Granny's but ever since that day we have always practiced at nagu's.
This bloke is probably confused about his orientation as well,from the time i remembered asking him a very important question his answer has always confused me
q:if you had a choice would you spend a night with the hottest female of your choice or your favorite drum kit?
A:Drumkit,every single fucking time.
Wow is all i can say,and plus he has never had even a go at a relationship,not even an inkling for it,again credit has to be given but since he is a retard it doesnt make it any better.
Again the other bengali characteristic pops up here,being related to music somehow or another,he is a decent drummer though,but his drumming skills and all arent the most distinguishing factor about the bloke in the group,so to recap
Babla=Abuser/Comedian,Chintoo=Geek/Wanna be tall guy,Me=I am the glue that holds the gang together,Comedian/Abuser/Catalyst/Typical Harami comment maker.
Nagu is the slow,dumb freak,now he is slow,but he isnt a freak because of that,he is the real freak because of his actions and emotions or lack of sometimes.
For eg:Some time in diwali we all were at nagu's terrace[i wasnt there] so the guys were all looking up at the sky and a few firecrackers started lighting up the sky
Nagu ,points to the sky and says casually "eh boom,.........Boom.......boom" ,pointing at every burst cracker,with no emotion at all,but he continued saying "boom" everytime something lit off.
Then there are times he tries to prove his stupidity and ignorance,chintoo,nagu and i were at chintoo's,and we were talking about our favorite author's,Chintoo had a ton of Hercule Poiree books or something,i remember making a ton of jokes on em,Agatha Christie as well,i think they were the same book,so i told em "Anon" is my favorite author,i dont read too many books barring game manuals or game magazines,so the 3 of us have a nice chuckle,then after 5 minutes nagu asks "Eh Who is Anon?",so we give him the benefit of the doubt and tell him "Anon is short for Anonymous",Nagu goes "Ohhhhh ok",5 minutes later "Eh Who is Anonymous?"
Then there was the great FA cup joke when Liverpool beat Manu 1-0 in 2006,and he is telling us the next day in school
Nagu:did you see Peter Crouch being busted open by Drogba?
Rohit:Drogba plays for Chelsea.....
Oh yeah whenever something wrong is said in front of him or he wants to interrupt someone,he makes retarded sounds from his mouth ,for eg if anyone has said some wrong fact or something he goes "eh burrrrrrrrrrr pup click clack booomp" and then he starts talking,although i think he does it to make himself the center of attention.
Normally a calm cool guy,sometimes he loses his cool and when you touch a nerve he goes berserk,if anyone constantly pisses him off,mostly me or babla he would shout out "Boka choda ,Khankeer Chele ,Khisti Khabi?"[Translation "Bak chod,Randi ka bachcha,gaali khayega?],oh and he has the strength of like 5-6 men,babla,chintoo and i cant hold him down,we tried but we fail every single time.So he is the wrong person to mess around with.
The avid footballer he is,and we are as well,so almost every alternate day at Rohit's we would play footie,Rohit + Babla,Me+Nagu+Manko,the 3 of us would be together because we didnt have skills and we all are overweight,well nagu aint but he is slow,Nagu though would make excellent runs and would invariably end up being right in front of goal,ball gets crossed and he is standing like a foot in front of the goal line,and then when you think he will finish,the finishing touch by nagu always ended with the ball hitting the roof's ledge,no goal,he did this every time we played like 15 times out of the 16 times he would have a chance at goal,thats talent.
He also sports a beard second to that of a criminal,full fledged beard + moustache combo,he even scared my cousin sister who now refers to him as "daari waala",we gifted him a shaving set on his 16 birthday i remember,he is unrecognisable when he is clean shaven ,he probably will get arrested one day for not looking like the person in his ID card or some,else a terrorist or something for sure.
Right now he is studying Architecture at BESU,he always had a dream about being an "arky" as he calls it ,i remember him being pummeled every single day by his seniors as it was part of ragging,but he couldnt rag his juniors,bloody chutia,nevertheless,his dream was always to build the roof for court where the Wimbledon finals are played,i think that dream is over as i heard the construction for the roof has begun or is finished,not sure,but i coaxed him to build ,or at least he will plan my next house,as he always reminds me,since he is an "arky" ,he will only make plans and not take part in the building process as he is not an engineer,typical lazy bastard.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Babla Man
Babla man is the ideal superhero everyone needs,he is based on a pal of mine Babla,oh well he aint no superhero or anything,but the most kickass times are with this freak of nature called Babla.
Interesting Fact:His name Babla [Soumyadeep Bhattachraya] is actually his father's name as well,the students at STB would call each other by their father's name,if they ever found it out that is.Fortunately for us we did find out his dad's name and thus a legacy was created,a legend was born and all the other cliches we use,its still not enough to describe the bloke.
The first time i met him was in class 10 when Manko man[his sidekick of sorts] brought him over to my place for a little gaming session,those were the days ,one on one matches on WWE Smackdown :Here comes the pain,ass whopping everyone ,but back to the topic,the guy seemed normal like i was normal in class 10,bit by bit little by little the different layers and phases of the Babla would be seen.
Phase 1:His first phase was the comedian/abuser phase,which still continues,it is legendary stuff in our school,i have to admit this guy is the funniest person i know,i say,half the story is how it is presented and all his stories kick ass even the crappy ones,king of comebacks,the prince of abusing,[am just carrying on this blokes legacy],he wrote so many good plays during this phase,which seem to
be lost now in his dark desolate house,or maybe in his cleavage ,i dont know,some of the titles i remember were "Somraj and the Security":an amazing love story,:Sumit and Trina:a porno story,and it goes on and on and on.
Everyday before class started and during recess all the boys from class 10A and 10B would come to one of the classes and hear the best
recital of the play,he spent so many hours writing the screenplay and dialogues ,it was magical, those days they are irreplaceable.
Phase 2:This phase wasnt much of a long one but it was still a phase,where he had 4[fore] fathers,namely his Physics teacher who abandoned him a few years later ,Adil[guitar god] the lead guitarist in the band for which he plays,Dave Mustaine it was i think the 3rd one and the 4th one was his biological father.We would pull his leg everyday about his fathers and which one was his real one and all.Classic shit.
Phase 3:The longest phase which has been going strong for a good 4-5 years now,the music phase,where he picked up the guitar and played every single fucking day without worrying about damaging his digits or even worrying about his studies,although as every bengali knows,when exams come we all go into bengali mode[no friends,no tv,no nothing,just books],he played every day to impress his father[Adil] and he was finally accepted into the music group and all.He would have gone nuts had that not happened.This phase also includes mini phases of liking and disliking bands,one day he would abuse a particular band and a few months later they had become the best in the world ,but thats babla for you,confused soul to the max.
This phase also included another mini phase,the dark lyrics phase,when Babla wrote a ton of lyrics to be used in songs all about death and the Devil ,you get the Idea,this was from where "Black Saddath" was formed,coz i didnt know Black Sabbath and when they were talking about it i thought it was "Black Saddath".
Of course phases were just a bit of madness of the bloke,there have been a ton of other retard incidents,especially during football games,one was when he was kicked square in the nuts by Ritu Daman Singh,the bloke had kicked the football with all his might square at Babla's nuts from like a distance of 2 metres at the most ,Babla was rolling about in pain,holding his nose[apparently that helps to
reduce the pain or something],he was shouting...
"I cant breathe ,i cant breathe",ever the smart alec i am i reply "Abey dont hold your nose,then you can breathe" ,man he was pissed at me ,but not as pissed as the whole Antara Haldar thingy,where i created a fake profile on orkut and this bastard fell hook, line and sinker thinking i was some metal chick ,the look on his face after it the truth was revealed to him after 3 months of toying around was hilarious.
Then there were dives when we played footie,he would dive like a ballerina who is the daughter of Arjen Robben and Cristiano ronaldo,performing triple klutzes and all before his huge frame would fall down slowly to make sure he wasnt hurt,and then he would do the chris benoit pain reaction whenever Benoit would miss the flying headbutt.
The "Gham" and "Ghem" was also every present,the "gham" was the ton of sweat he would pour out everyday,the "ghem" was his big fat ego coming out,his ego would be such a huge failing that we even named a shot after it,"The Ghem" Shot ,which basically was a crazy shot with all force but no direction,infact he was often told "No ghem Shots allowed" ,whenever we played in a small area.The Bastard still would do ghem shots and we would have to bring the ball back.
Another such incident was the "fubu" incident where he ripped Kumarjit not one but 3-4 new assholes when we went to play[music] at the blokes para,the fucking dog kumarjit was acting smart and treated us like shit at the place,well Babla didnt let him off the hook and was abusing the shit out of him in his own backyard on a mic,at 3 in the afternoon ,even when the mike was cut off babla followed him
around and abused him and his locality for another half an hour.
Then there was this huge 500 word scrap sent to Sumitano Dickhead about his sister and other relatives just to abuse the shit out of him,to be honest it was very well constructed and his bio background was the catalyst for the amazing scrap,sumit did find out who it was but man that was classic.
Although school has ended and college has started Babla is the one bloke who has kept the friendship intact,he makes sure,infact we make sure that amongst the 3 of us left in cal from the "group" [Babla,Nagu,chintoo and i] we make sure [babla ,nagu and i] that we meet at least once in 2 weeks,to share the tales of the fucktards in our colleges,oh what we STB students wouldnt do for another STB
college that taught all the courses we want :X
Infact we have made sure our "dosti" will stay strong,as we have decided what to call each other's children ,i think Nagu has the "Suorer Bachcha" thing reserved for his kids and Babla has the "khankeer chele" reserved as well.
Humlog Jeet ke Aayenge!
PS:He is the reason why the whole "Betray" system was made and rules were created to define who is a "Betray" or not,I know its grammatically wrong but its way more funny this way.
Interesting Fact:His name Babla [Soumyadeep Bhattachraya] is actually his father's name as well,the students at STB would call each other by their father's name,if they ever found it out that is.Fortunately for us we did find out his dad's name and thus a legacy was created,a legend was born and all the other cliches we use,its still not enough to describe the bloke.
The first time i met him was in class 10 when Manko man[his sidekick of sorts] brought him over to my place for a little gaming session,those were the days ,one on one matches on WWE Smackdown :Here comes the pain,ass whopping everyone ,but back to the topic,the guy seemed normal like i was normal in class 10,bit by bit little by little the different layers and phases of the Babla would be seen.
Phase 1:His first phase was the comedian/abuser phase,which still continues,it is legendary stuff in our school,i have to admit this guy is the funniest person i know,i say,half the story is how it is presented and all his stories kick ass even the crappy ones,king of comebacks,the prince of abusing,[am just carrying on this blokes legacy],he wrote so many good plays during this phase,which seem to
be lost now in his dark desolate house,or maybe in his cleavage ,i dont know,some of the titles i remember were "Somraj and the Security":an amazing love story,:Sumit and Trina:a porno story,and it goes on and on and on.
Everyday before class started and during recess all the boys from class 10A and 10B would come to one of the classes and hear the best
recital of the play,he spent so many hours writing the screenplay and dialogues ,it was magical, those days they are irreplaceable.
Phase 2:This phase wasnt much of a long one but it was still a phase,where he had 4[fore] fathers,namely his Physics teacher who abandoned him a few years later ,Adil[guitar god] the lead guitarist in the band for which he plays,Dave Mustaine it was i think the 3rd one and the 4th one was his biological father.We would pull his leg everyday about his fathers and which one was his real one and all.Classic shit.
Phase 3:The longest phase which has been going strong for a good 4-5 years now,the music phase,where he picked up the guitar and played every single fucking day without worrying about damaging his digits or even worrying about his studies,although as every bengali knows,when exams come we all go into bengali mode[no friends,no tv,no nothing,just books],he played every day to impress his father[Adil] and he was finally accepted into the music group and all.He would have gone nuts had that not happened.This phase also includes mini phases of liking and disliking bands,one day he would abuse a particular band and a few months later they had become the best in the world ,but thats babla for you,confused soul to the max.
This phase also included another mini phase,the dark lyrics phase,when Babla wrote a ton of lyrics to be used in songs all about death and the Devil ,you get the Idea,this was from where "Black Saddath" was formed,coz i didnt know Black Sabbath and when they were talking about it i thought it was "Black Saddath".
Of course phases were just a bit of madness of the bloke,there have been a ton of other retard incidents,especially during football games,one was when he was kicked square in the nuts by Ritu Daman Singh,the bloke had kicked the football with all his might square at Babla's nuts from like a distance of 2 metres at the most ,Babla was rolling about in pain,holding his nose[apparently that helps to
reduce the pain or something],he was shouting...
"I cant breathe ,i cant breathe",ever the smart alec i am i reply "Abey dont hold your nose,then you can breathe" ,man he was pissed at me ,but not as pissed as the whole Antara Haldar thingy,where i created a fake profile on orkut and this bastard fell hook, line and sinker thinking i was some metal chick ,the look on his face after it the truth was revealed to him after 3 months of toying around was hilarious.
Then there were dives when we played footie,he would dive like a ballerina who is the daughter of Arjen Robben and Cristiano ronaldo,performing triple klutzes and all before his huge frame would fall down slowly to make sure he wasnt hurt,and then he would do the chris benoit pain reaction whenever Benoit would miss the flying headbutt.
The "Gham" and "Ghem" was also every present,the "gham" was the ton of sweat he would pour out everyday,the "ghem" was his big fat ego coming out,his ego would be such a huge failing that we even named a shot after it,"The Ghem" Shot ,which basically was a crazy shot with all force but no direction,infact he was often told "No ghem Shots allowed" ,whenever we played in a small area.The Bastard still would do ghem shots and we would have to bring the ball back.
Another such incident was the "fubu" incident where he ripped Kumarjit not one but 3-4 new assholes when we went to play[music] at the blokes para,the fucking dog kumarjit was acting smart and treated us like shit at the place,well Babla didnt let him off the hook and was abusing the shit out of him in his own backyard on a mic,at 3 in the afternoon ,even when the mike was cut off babla followed him
around and abused him and his locality for another half an hour.
Then there was this huge 500 word scrap sent to Sumitano Dickhead about his sister and other relatives just to abuse the shit out of him,to be honest it was very well constructed and his bio background was the catalyst for the amazing scrap,sumit did find out who it was but man that was classic.
Although school has ended and college has started Babla is the one bloke who has kept the friendship intact,he makes sure,infact we make sure that amongst the 3 of us left in cal from the "group" [Babla,Nagu,chintoo and i] we make sure [babla ,nagu and i] that we meet at least once in 2 weeks,to share the tales of the fucktards in our colleges,oh what we STB students wouldnt do for another STB
college that taught all the courses we want :X
Infact we have made sure our "dosti" will stay strong,as we have decided what to call each other's children ,i think Nagu has the "Suorer Bachcha" thing reserved for his kids and Babla has the "khankeer chele" reserved as well.
Humlog Jeet ke Aayenge!
PS:He is the reason why the whole "Betray" system was made and rules were created to define who is a "Betray" or not,I know its grammatically wrong but its way more funny this way.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Chintoo Lee
This isnt a post about some retard brother of Bruce lee or some stupid indian Pj about a lee,this is a post about one of my best friends ever ,probably my first best
friend from Calcutta,a certain Rohit Sarkar.We first met in 8E of a certain St Thomas Boys school,the most notorious of all schools in Calcutta,but he wasnt like the typical STB students,rather he was cultured,respectable,soft spoken and the like,that all changed with our friendship though.
I remember the first time i talked to him regarding a notebook i had borrowed from him,the entire day i had been abused by every numbskull in the class just because my hindi wasnt good and i would talk about Dubai all the time[anyone would when they came from Dubai and had to study in STB] so as i expected a barrage of khankee ,chodu,chutia and the like,when i returned the book and said "Thank you",he replied "Mention not ,Please",Wow i didnt get abused,gotta be friends with this guy,i thought and that i did.
Rohit is one of the shortest people i know but that hasnt hurt him in his IQ and studies,the most intelligent person i have probably met,smart and kickass in studies,i remember he scored around 96% in ISC and he missed topping our school by some 6-7 marks,i ripped into him calling him a disgrace to the bengali heritage and that he cant ever show his face to his parents,should commit suicide and that i cant call him a friend anymore,because i was ashamed to be his pal,he retorted back.
"Tum laura kitna laya? 70%? sala chutia"
True but still coming first is the only thing for a bengali.
A brilliant sportsperson as well,cricket,football were two of his passions,he was a pretty good cricketer too,played for the bengal U something side for a long time,
he considered himself to be the Arjen Robben of school,sala Manc jumped ship to Chelski for the money,douchebag of the best kind i guess.We would often play on his terrace we included Babla,Nagu,Manko man and I,brilliant footballing ,the scoreline would often read 20-19 or some shit like that,and after the game when all of us would be sweaty and tired *poof* ,off went his shirt and he would start doing push ups for no fucking reason.A typical STB retard i guess.
OF course since he is a bengali just studies and sports wouldnt cut it for him,so he was also a prefect and would take part in almost every competition possible
As the great Ricky Bobby said "First or Last',that seemed to be this blokes motto as well,taking part in everything and trying to Win[so i guess Jeet ke aaoge was
in him from back then].He was so happy when he heard that he was going to host the first every spelling bee of our school,he would taunt us and bloat about him
hosting the shit hole event so much our ears bled,he started bloating about it around 2 weeks before the bee,that turd KC[our english maam] gave him the honor of being the first ever host of the bee and all.
The big day came and we were all in the crowd,waiting to see what Chintoo would do,he came on stage and as soon as he was about to start the round,after taking the introductions KC came on stage and she started hosting the show,Rohit spent the next 90 minutes just passing the mike from one participant to another,he was so embarrassed,but we well more specifically I wasnt let him off the hook so easily,taunted the poor bloke to death,that was certainly amazing,a few weeks later however he took his revenge while i was standing answering a question and i tried to sit down,he pulled the chair from beneath me and smack a fat guy fell and hit his head real fucking hard on the desk behind him,the whole class loled like hell,and Buladi[maths teacher] gave him a roasting,most people didnt give a shit to what Buladi said,so it really didnt matter.
He is acredited by creating one of the best oneliners i heard,when Buladi was about to hit someone with a ruler [this was in class 12] he shouted "Maar Randi Maar", brilliant.He is also called the Silent Assassin,not because he is some sort of martial artist but because of KC and me yet again,this time in class she was naming the students who would score 90 in ISC atleast in English,Aman,Achin,Ranjeet,Rishab,Adil,Sumit,Ramnik,and then a pause,now rohit sat near the window and i sat beside him,so he was covered by my big frame and all,KC says
"Where is that little boy? Rohit .......OOOOOOOOHhhhhhhh there he is sitting like a silent boy in the corner,a silent fellow he is too" in her crummy made up british wannabe accent
"Silent" i though,and i start talking in the same british cunt accent that KC was "OOOOOOHHHHHHH Rohit is a silent Assassin because he will score a 90 in ISC english,Silent assassin kills people by riding his cycle ,wow what a silent assassin,oooooooohhhhhh you little cheeky devil"
Cheeky devil he may be,but he is one of my best friends and now he is studying in NITK Suratkal,malluland as i call it,so whenever he comes back to cal he comes with his mallu english accent which we try to fix,and he goes back there with a fixed accent and then fucks it agains when he reaches there.
Oh and one more thing,people blame me for talking about porno all the time and all,but most people dont know that it was this clean little punk who got me started
with the porno surfing.
"Google >Pictures>Advanced settings>Turn Safety Filter off>Search for any female actors name + nude"
You horny cheeky bastard you.
friend from Calcutta,a certain Rohit Sarkar.We first met in 8E of a certain St Thomas Boys school,the most notorious of all schools in Calcutta,but he wasnt like the typical STB students,rather he was cultured,respectable,soft spoken and the like,that all changed with our friendship though.
I remember the first time i talked to him regarding a notebook i had borrowed from him,the entire day i had been abused by every numbskull in the class just because my hindi wasnt good and i would talk about Dubai all the time[anyone would when they came from Dubai and had to study in STB] so as i expected a barrage of khankee ,chodu,chutia and the like,when i returned the book and said "Thank you",he replied "Mention not ,Please",Wow i didnt get abused,gotta be friends with this guy,i thought and that i did.
Rohit is one of the shortest people i know but that hasnt hurt him in his IQ and studies,the most intelligent person i have probably met,smart and kickass in studies,i remember he scored around 96% in ISC and he missed topping our school by some 6-7 marks,i ripped into him calling him a disgrace to the bengali heritage and that he cant ever show his face to his parents,should commit suicide and that i cant call him a friend anymore,because i was ashamed to be his pal,he retorted back.
"Tum laura kitna laya? 70%? sala chutia"
True but still coming first is the only thing for a bengali.
A brilliant sportsperson as well,cricket,football were two of his passions,he was a pretty good cricketer too,played for the bengal U something side for a long time,
he considered himself to be the Arjen Robben of school,sala Manc jumped ship to Chelski for the money,douchebag of the best kind i guess.We would often play on his terrace we included Babla,Nagu,Manko man and I,brilliant footballing ,the scoreline would often read 20-19 or some shit like that,and after the game when all of us would be sweaty and tired *poof* ,off went his shirt and he would start doing push ups for no fucking reason.A typical STB retard i guess.
OF course since he is a bengali just studies and sports wouldnt cut it for him,so he was also a prefect and would take part in almost every competition possible
As the great Ricky Bobby said "First or Last',that seemed to be this blokes motto as well,taking part in everything and trying to Win[so i guess Jeet ke aaoge was
in him from back then].He was so happy when he heard that he was going to host the first every spelling bee of our school,he would taunt us and bloat about him
hosting the shit hole event so much our ears bled,he started bloating about it around 2 weeks before the bee,that turd KC[our english maam] gave him the honor of being the first ever host of the bee and all.
The big day came and we were all in the crowd,waiting to see what Chintoo would do,he came on stage and as soon as he was about to start the round,after taking the introductions KC came on stage and she started hosting the show,Rohit spent the next 90 minutes just passing the mike from one participant to another,he was so embarrassed,but we well more specifically I wasnt let him off the hook so easily,taunted the poor bloke to death,that was certainly amazing,a few weeks later however he took his revenge while i was standing answering a question and i tried to sit down,he pulled the chair from beneath me and smack a fat guy fell and hit his head real fucking hard on the desk behind him,the whole class loled like hell,and Buladi[maths teacher] gave him a roasting,most people didnt give a shit to what Buladi said,so it really didnt matter.
He is acredited by creating one of the best oneliners i heard,when Buladi was about to hit someone with a ruler [this was in class 12] he shouted "Maar Randi Maar", brilliant.He is also called the Silent Assassin,not because he is some sort of martial artist but because of KC and me yet again,this time in class she was naming the students who would score 90 in ISC atleast in English,Aman,Achin,Ranjeet,Rishab,Adil,Sumit,Ramnik,and then a pause,now rohit sat near the window and i sat beside him,so he was covered by my big frame and all,KC says
"Where is that little boy? Rohit .......OOOOOOOOHhhhhhhh there he is sitting like a silent boy in the corner,a silent fellow he is too" in her crummy made up british wannabe accent
"Silent" i though,and i start talking in the same british cunt accent that KC was "OOOOOOHHHHHHH Rohit is a silent Assassin because he will score a 90 in ISC english,Silent assassin kills people by riding his cycle ,wow what a silent assassin,oooooooohhhhhh you little cheeky devil"
Cheeky devil he may be,but he is one of my best friends and now he is studying in NITK Suratkal,malluland as i call it,so whenever he comes back to cal he comes with his mallu english accent which we try to fix,and he goes back there with a fixed accent and then fucks it agains when he reaches there.
Oh and one more thing,people blame me for talking about porno all the time and all,but most people dont know that it was this clean little punk who got me started
with the porno surfing.
"Google >Pictures>Advanced settings>Turn Safety Filter off>Search for any female actors name + nude"
You horny cheeky bastard you.
Friday, February 5, 2010
A Classy Birthday to you!
Now one of me best pals had his birthday recently,twas Babla's special night,another birthday to somewhat celebrate and enjoy,so after wishing the bloke in the now oh so fashionable 12 midnight time and all i was expecting a treat or something at least,but knowing the bugger i didnt think i would get the call for a treat anytime soon after all he is part of a kickass pro band "Weaponshop"[listen to these guys they are amazing] ,he is in a some what steady relationship and is an all around jackass.Since he was in a relationship i had bet my bottom dollar that he would spend his special night with someone special *wink wink*.However something extra ordinary was to happen.
Now for most of me pals in me special group a birthday is a day to spent time with your pals,mostly consisting of decent food,nothing too pricey nothing too cheap,after all the enjoyment is in the company rather than the place.Thats what we always do,all the time,in fact most of me pals birthdays are celebrated at our houses,there being a couple of exceptions of course,most of us are pennyless bastards.
So i get a call from babla on his birthday at around 6 PM,so i knew either he was to come to me place or was gonna treat us for his birthday[one thing i dont understand is why the person whose birthday is being celebrated must treat the other blokes,it should be the other way around] anyways ,babla calls and asks me "did nagu call you up ?,he didnt? fine meet me at the Taj at 8 PM,bring nagu along"
Now The Taj is this really classy pricey 5 star hotel in Calcutta,like the Taj in Bombay and the like,when he said meet me at the taj there was a little confusion,i mean surely babla wont treat us at the taj,i mean its next to impossible for him to treat us there,i called nagu up and he was surprised about the Taj invitation as well,so we meet up at around 7:45,the Taj is like a 10 minute walk from my place,So while we walk we are discussing where we would eat...
Me:Abey can you believe it,saala humlog ko Taj mein khilayega babla
Nagu:Eeeeeehhhh Adeeeeem Kariiiiim you really think he would treat us there?,its babla we are talking about
Me:Fuck man yeah,i bet he is there talking about some gig he will play,probably from there we will head off somewhere
Nagu:yes of course...
We end up at the Taj bang on time coz of the punctual freaks we are and that w dont have much work to do at all,we call babla up and he says its gonna take him 15 minutes ,so we are waiting by the main gate and i can see the nervousness of the guards,bloody they were scared shit of us both standing next to the gate and all,we wait still and then get pissed coz as usual babla is ever so late ,so we call him up and he tells us heis 5 minutes away and that we should go inside and ask for a reservation in the name of "Mr Upadhyay",i am thinkin who the fuck is it?
Nagu comes up ,"thats Swagat",Rich man Swagat,now we add it up,Swagat is giving the treat,so we go into the Taj security check and all we enter and we were told by babla to go to the "Hub",when we did enter the waiter asked us about a table and we replied that we had a reservation in the name of mr Upadhyay.
So we see a table for 12 and the both of us sit at one end of the table opposite to each other,now the wait begins coz as usual babla must be late and very fucking late he must always be,so 15 minutes are gone and the waiters are now getting apprehensive and so are we,
"what the fuck is taking babla so fucking long?",a waiter comes up to us and says
"till the other people come ,here is some bread"
and he gives us some bread with some dip,now me and nagu dont know what to do,should we eat the bread now or wait or dont eat it at all?
we sit for like 10 minutes before another of babla's pals comes,some guy from me own college Techno india a first year BBA student,who spoke in the American accent and all,he starts eating the bread and then we start eating it as well out of sheer embarrassment.
Then at around 9 came Swagat and Babla ,Swagat also had one of his pals The Bugguria,nonetheless we had our usual tirade of cheap jokes,abuses,acting crummy and cruddy while we waited for the others we had a few side dishes which were fish fingers ,chicken tikkas ,and a bowl of soup [tomato] for The bugguria.The next to come was Babla's girl,Mritika[i have no freaking idea why the hell there is a M in front of a normal name,but thats bengalism i guess] and so babla shifts from sitting next to me and nagu and now sits with his girl at the other end of the table,by the time its 9:30 Adil,gujju ,Hasan bhaiya[adils brother] and Sourish come and i guess that was the end of the guest list.If i missed someone fuck off coz you didnt make an impression on me.
So we ordered some pizzas pasta,biryani[which had to have a couple of boiled eggs in it coz it was the bday boys wish i guess],rogen ghost ,a chicken dish and some roti,as usual gujju was the butt of all the jokes,with things being thrown at him,his special desert being eaten by everyone but as usual if you felt a little sorry for the bloke[gujju] for being picked on he does do some rather idiotic things,like this time all off a sudden he starts searching frantically for his cell phone and he cant find it,then all of a sudden he remembers that he left it with the security people,you see when we were entering the Taj we had to let our belongings through a metal detector and then we could take it back after it had been checked but gujju didnt take it back and he was relieved that it was still with em and he started eating,he was then fucking told to go and get it from em coz it would get stolen,the light bulb finaly came on for the gujju.He did get his cell in the end.Lucky punk.
The dinner ended at around 11:30 with us staggering outside like a bunch of drunks and our eternal wait for a cab for the others wasnt boring or nothing,babla nagu and i lived close by and when you have the company of good friends time does fly,the others did get a cab later one at around midnight,while babla walked his lady to the cab,she was walking along the edge of the road like some drunk punk.A pretty kickass birthday nevertheless the bill of course was footed by Swagat.
Oh yeah Note:The best bit of the treat was calling Chintoo up and pissing him off about where we were and what we were eating and all,another NOTE the pasta that was priced at 500 bucks a plate tasted like half boiled maggi i kid you not,nagu and Hasan Bhai can vouch for this.
Now for most of me pals in me special group a birthday is a day to spent time with your pals,mostly consisting of decent food,nothing too pricey nothing too cheap,after all the enjoyment is in the company rather than the place.Thats what we always do,all the time,in fact most of me pals birthdays are celebrated at our houses,there being a couple of exceptions of course,most of us are pennyless bastards.
So i get a call from babla on his birthday at around 6 PM,so i knew either he was to come to me place or was gonna treat us for his birthday[one thing i dont understand is why the person whose birthday is being celebrated must treat the other blokes,it should be the other way around] anyways ,babla calls and asks me "did nagu call you up ?,he didnt? fine meet me at the Taj at 8 PM,bring nagu along"
Now The Taj is this really classy pricey 5 star hotel in Calcutta,like the Taj in Bombay and the like,when he said meet me at the taj there was a little confusion,i mean surely babla wont treat us at the taj,i mean its next to impossible for him to treat us there,i called nagu up and he was surprised about the Taj invitation as well,so we meet up at around 7:45,the Taj is like a 10 minute walk from my place,So while we walk we are discussing where we would eat...
Me:Abey can you believe it,saala humlog ko Taj mein khilayega babla
Nagu:Eeeeeehhhh Adeeeeem Kariiiiim you really think he would treat us there?,its babla we are talking about
Me:Fuck man yeah,i bet he is there talking about some gig he will play,probably from there we will head off somewhere
Nagu:yes of course...
We end up at the Taj bang on time coz of the punctual freaks we are and that w dont have much work to do at all,we call babla up and he says its gonna take him 15 minutes ,so we are waiting by the main gate and i can see the nervousness of the guards,bloody they were scared shit of us both standing next to the gate and all,we wait still and then get pissed coz as usual babla is ever so late ,so we call him up and he tells us heis 5 minutes away and that we should go inside and ask for a reservation in the name of "Mr Upadhyay",i am thinkin who the fuck is it?
Nagu comes up ,"thats Swagat",Rich man Swagat,now we add it up,Swagat is giving the treat,so we go into the Taj security check and all we enter and we were told by babla to go to the "Hub",when we did enter the waiter asked us about a table and we replied that we had a reservation in the name of mr Upadhyay.
So we see a table for 12 and the both of us sit at one end of the table opposite to each other,now the wait begins coz as usual babla must be late and very fucking late he must always be,so 15 minutes are gone and the waiters are now getting apprehensive and so are we,
"what the fuck is taking babla so fucking long?",a waiter comes up to us and says
"till the other people come ,here is some bread"
and he gives us some bread with some dip,now me and nagu dont know what to do,should we eat the bread now or wait or dont eat it at all?
we sit for like 10 minutes before another of babla's pals comes,some guy from me own college Techno india a first year BBA student,who spoke in the American accent and all,he starts eating the bread and then we start eating it as well out of sheer embarrassment.
Then at around 9 came Swagat and Babla ,Swagat also had one of his pals The Bugguria,nonetheless we had our usual tirade of cheap jokes,abuses,acting crummy and cruddy while we waited for the others we had a few side dishes which were fish fingers ,chicken tikkas ,and a bowl of soup [tomato] for The bugguria.The next to come was Babla's girl,Mritika[i have no freaking idea why the hell there is a M in front of a normal name,but thats bengalism i guess] and so babla shifts from sitting next to me and nagu and now sits with his girl at the other end of the table,by the time its 9:30 Adil,gujju ,Hasan bhaiya[adils brother] and Sourish come and i guess that was the end of the guest list.If i missed someone fuck off coz you didnt make an impression on me.
So we ordered some pizzas pasta,biryani[which had to have a couple of boiled eggs in it coz it was the bday boys wish i guess],rogen ghost ,a chicken dish and some roti,as usual gujju was the butt of all the jokes,with things being thrown at him,his special desert being eaten by everyone but as usual if you felt a little sorry for the bloke[gujju] for being picked on he does do some rather idiotic things,like this time all off a sudden he starts searching frantically for his cell phone and he cant find it,then all of a sudden he remembers that he left it with the security people,you see when we were entering the Taj we had to let our belongings through a metal detector and then we could take it back after it had been checked but gujju didnt take it back and he was relieved that it was still with em and he started eating,he was then fucking told to go and get it from em coz it would get stolen,the light bulb finaly came on for the gujju.He did get his cell in the end.Lucky punk.
The dinner ended at around 11:30 with us staggering outside like a bunch of drunks and our eternal wait for a cab for the others wasnt boring or nothing,babla nagu and i lived close by and when you have the company of good friends time does fly,the others did get a cab later one at around midnight,while babla walked his lady to the cab,she was walking along the edge of the road like some drunk punk.A pretty kickass birthday nevertheless the bill of course was footed by Swagat.
Oh yeah Note:The best bit of the treat was calling Chintoo up and pissing him off about where we were and what we were eating and all,another NOTE the pasta that was priced at 500 bucks a plate tasted like half boiled maggi i kid you not,nagu and Hasan Bhai can vouch for this.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Republic Day well fucking spent
Now we all should know that i am not the kind of person who likes going out regularly,i mean a movie once in a couple of weeks is the max i can do with,or the probability of meeting all me best pals on alternate days but they mostly come over to my place ,an outing is a rarity for me coz there isnt much out there for either a freak like me in calcutta or for a lame ass like me.
So on this "Republic Day" as usual after the flag hoisting ceremony and all me building pals and I were just loitering about ,i rarely go down as well ,but there are occasions when i do join me pals,rare they are though.As i was saying,Zaman Bhai[one muscular freak who is ready to beat up as many people as possible],Sid[one of the 2 best pals i got in me complex who can deal with my intellect],Madhav[the other intellectual best pal of mine],Chintoo[dont know his real name but the guy is freaking tall] and Aaush[the real fucking freak of the complex] were all just loitering about in the parking lot.
But before we ended up there we had to take care of the flag hoisting and all that,so out of a complex of 200+ flats only freakin 30 people came that too at 10:45 ,15 minutes later than the stipulated time,so it was me zaman bhai and madhav as the only ass representatives from our age groups,and as we were about to sing the national anthem this guy Mohta bhai,who is a skinny cock eyed bloke takes out his cell phone and starts blabberring,zaman bhai would not let this go,"Arrey Mohta bhai,mobile mein kyu baat kar rahe ho,Jana Gana Mana goa,Sala Pakistani" [No offence meant to any Pakistanis out there],poor Mohta does nothing but limbers off,the ceremoney lasted no more than 5 minutes and after that we went to our parking lot.
We find this blokes dalmation is doing a round,and is now tied up to a pillar,so zaman bhai,madhav and i walk up to it,i keep my fucking distance from the pup coz i hate animals,cept when i eat em,but the other 2 blokes go right up to it.Everytime they want the dog to stand up or do anything for the matter of fact,the pup starts pissing all around,Zaman bhai gets fucking furious and starts blaring out in the parking lot
"I will piss on you,i will fuck you",but thats the normal reaction you would expect from any of my pals when they are getting pissed on from a kutta.
At around 11:15 or so comes down Sid ,freaks were busy shagging off at home,not that i denounce that act,but nationalistic pride should come before porn i guess,Aaush still hasnt picked up the phone even after texting him and calling him numerous times,so now its the 4 of us and then starts the real retardness,barring me the other 3 people go to a gym,i am too fucking lazy to do all that,and so are talking bout their biceps etc etc etc and they [sid and madhav ]start showing off their bazookas and all,Zaman bhai comes into the frame and as Sid is about to poke him and all he blares out
"agar te mujhe chuua ,zor se gaali dega"
Sid aint gonna get fazed by that after all we all are former STB students,and he does try to hit zaman bhai,who like a paranoid lady screams out in a bus when she feels someone brush her,did the same
"aaaaaeeeee laaaaauuuurrrraaaaa kaaaaaaa baaaalllll"
safe to say no one tried to do anything to zaman bhai for a few minutes at least.
Then came Aaush and Chintoo,chintoo didnt really say much apart from Zaman bhai pulling his leg all the time,regarding girls and all,Aaush came as a freak ,they all decided to go for a smoke outside the building ,i dont smoke,really i dont,so i stayed a few feet away while they all puffed and all,then they decided to go to a mandir,i had never ridden with these people so it was a first for me,out came a massive SUV ,which had DEFENCE written on it,i dont know why,so it was Aaush driving,Madhav [shotgun,yes who ever called out shotgun first would sit next to the driver],me and chintoo at the back seat,zaman bhai and sid right at the back,we also picked up rahul bhai,while aaush was driving around the complex he almost backed into a santro while we abused the shit out of him.
Off we went,though we had a stopover at another fag store for a few cigs ,zaman bhai stepped out and we drove off,leaving him behind,but he knew he had our weakness,the cigs,so we did one round and came back to pick him up,now the entire time when zaman bhai and sid were seated at the back they were constantly trying to molest one another and fighting at the back while Aaush was telling zaman bhai to try to fix the back light of the SUV and everytime he did that Aaush stepped on the brake giving bhai a good old shocka. As usual zama bhai retorted with
"AAAAAAuuuuuu laaaauuuurrrraaaaa mat kar"
So most of us are faggin about,sid threw a match box at Aaush while the guy was driving and out came a war of abusive words between him,mother father,vagina's nothing was left out,so finally we reached the mandir,me zaman bhai and chintoo didnt go into the mandir,zaman bhai was driving around and double parked,so bang on schedule came a police officer and old bloke who was yammering about telling us to move the car,while zaman bhai argued that it was a "Defence" car and that we would leave in minutes,and as said in a few minutes the other guys came out ,Aaush was now riding shotgun,Zaman bhai was driving ,oh dear lord save me he was driving.
Zaman bhai is a proper STB student who drives like a maniac to say the least,i dont think he even knows that cars have brakes,or that they should be driven at least in calcutta with a little control,he is like an indian michael schummacher,zipping across raods,traffic,pedestrians they are like chicanes to him,they are there,but they should fucking move when he is driving,a normal 15 minute journey takes less than 3 minutes for him.My first time,say a prayer and put on your seat belts,i aint saying that for dramatic effect,i was told to do that by Sid.This was the first time my mouth was shut ,i barely said anything throughout the ride,apart from one blowjob joke i made on madhav.
Zip zam zoom thats all i can say about ZB[zaman bhai],he even once took the wrong route and almost rammed into an auto when the auto driver said "kya chala rahe ho",he replied "tum toh bahut achcha chala rahe ho",then the auto sped off,when we crossed the signal we spotted the same auto,we stopped right next ti him and abused him and joked at him,then we realised it was some other auto driver who stared at us like he was possesed of something,he was shocked to say the least,now when Aaush rides shotgun,he always decides to climb out of the window and start acting cool and all,while ZB swerves the car about to keep the bloke inside.
While on a stetch we hit 100+ kmph in a city street ,we decided to have some fun,we stopped at asked a guy
"dada sonargachi[a red light district] kothai?" [where is sonargachi]
the guy looks into the car filled with like 8 perverts ,and replied back
"chudte jacho?" [going to fuck?]
ZB replies "Haan tumi o cholo" [yes you also come along]
and we speed off again,another thing aaush seems to love to do is point at other vehicles while at high speeds to let em know if they have a flat tire or something,when they obviously dont have a flat tire,he did this to 2 cabs and a freaking bus and all the vehicles slowed down to check out if they had a problem,oh by the way the 20 minute distance was covered in 10 minutes by ZB,it could have been faster had he not gotten confused about some directions and of course we had not played around with that "sonargachi" thing.
The scourges of calcutta.Nuff said.
So on this "Republic Day" as usual after the flag hoisting ceremony and all me building pals and I were just loitering about ,i rarely go down as well ,but there are occasions when i do join me pals,rare they are though.As i was saying,Zaman Bhai[one muscular freak who is ready to beat up as many people as possible],Sid[one of the 2 best pals i got in me complex who can deal with my intellect],Madhav[the other intellectual best pal of mine],Chintoo[dont know his real name but the guy is freaking tall] and Aaush[the real fucking freak of the complex] were all just loitering about in the parking lot.
But before we ended up there we had to take care of the flag hoisting and all that,so out of a complex of 200+ flats only freakin 30 people came that too at 10:45 ,15 minutes later than the stipulated time,so it was me zaman bhai and madhav as the only ass representatives from our age groups,and as we were about to sing the national anthem this guy Mohta bhai,who is a skinny cock eyed bloke takes out his cell phone and starts blabberring,zaman bhai would not let this go,"Arrey Mohta bhai,mobile mein kyu baat kar rahe ho,Jana Gana Mana goa,Sala Pakistani" [No offence meant to any Pakistanis out there],poor Mohta does nothing but limbers off,the ceremoney lasted no more than 5 minutes and after that we went to our parking lot.
We find this blokes dalmation is doing a round,and is now tied up to a pillar,so zaman bhai,madhav and i walk up to it,i keep my fucking distance from the pup coz i hate animals,cept when i eat em,but the other 2 blokes go right up to it.Everytime they want the dog to stand up or do anything for the matter of fact,the pup starts pissing all around,Zaman bhai gets fucking furious and starts blaring out in the parking lot
"I will piss on you,i will fuck you",but thats the normal reaction you would expect from any of my pals when they are getting pissed on from a kutta.
At around 11:15 or so comes down Sid ,freaks were busy shagging off at home,not that i denounce that act,but nationalistic pride should come before porn i guess,Aaush still hasnt picked up the phone even after texting him and calling him numerous times,so now its the 4 of us and then starts the real retardness,barring me the other 3 people go to a gym,i am too fucking lazy to do all that,and so are talking bout their biceps etc etc etc and they [sid and madhav ]start showing off their bazookas and all,Zaman bhai comes into the frame and as Sid is about to poke him and all he blares out
"agar te mujhe chuua ,zor se gaali dega"
Sid aint gonna get fazed by that after all we all are former STB students,and he does try to hit zaman bhai,who like a paranoid lady screams out in a bus when she feels someone brush her,did the same
"aaaaaeeeee laaaaauuuurrrraaaaa kaaaaaaa baaaalllll"
safe to say no one tried to do anything to zaman bhai for a few minutes at least.
Then came Aaush and Chintoo,chintoo didnt really say much apart from Zaman bhai pulling his leg all the time,regarding girls and all,Aaush came as a freak ,they all decided to go for a smoke outside the building ,i dont smoke,really i dont,so i stayed a few feet away while they all puffed and all,then they decided to go to a mandir,i had never ridden with these people so it was a first for me,out came a massive SUV ,which had DEFENCE written on it,i dont know why,so it was Aaush driving,Madhav [shotgun,yes who ever called out shotgun first would sit next to the driver],me and chintoo at the back seat,zaman bhai and sid right at the back,we also picked up rahul bhai,while aaush was driving around the complex he almost backed into a santro while we abused the shit out of him.
Off we went,though we had a stopover at another fag store for a few cigs ,zaman bhai stepped out and we drove off,leaving him behind,but he knew he had our weakness,the cigs,so we did one round and came back to pick him up,now the entire time when zaman bhai and sid were seated at the back they were constantly trying to molest one another and fighting at the back while Aaush was telling zaman bhai to try to fix the back light of the SUV and everytime he did that Aaush stepped on the brake giving bhai a good old shocka. As usual zama bhai retorted with
"AAAAAAuuuuuu laaaauuuurrrraaaaa mat kar"
So most of us are faggin about,sid threw a match box at Aaush while the guy was driving and out came a war of abusive words between him,mother father,vagina's nothing was left out,so finally we reached the mandir,me zaman bhai and chintoo didnt go into the mandir,zaman bhai was driving around and double parked,so bang on schedule came a police officer and old bloke who was yammering about telling us to move the car,while zaman bhai argued that it was a "Defence" car and that we would leave in minutes,and as said in a few minutes the other guys came out ,Aaush was now riding shotgun,Zaman bhai was driving ,oh dear lord save me he was driving.
Zaman bhai is a proper STB student who drives like a maniac to say the least,i dont think he even knows that cars have brakes,or that they should be driven at least in calcutta with a little control,he is like an indian michael schummacher,zipping across raods,traffic,pedestrians they are like chicanes to him,they are there,but they should fucking move when he is driving,a normal 15 minute journey takes less than 3 minutes for him.My first time,say a prayer and put on your seat belts,i aint saying that for dramatic effect,i was told to do that by Sid.This was the first time my mouth was shut ,i barely said anything throughout the ride,apart from one blowjob joke i made on madhav.
Zip zam zoom thats all i can say about ZB[zaman bhai],he even once took the wrong route and almost rammed into an auto when the auto driver said "kya chala rahe ho",he replied "tum toh bahut achcha chala rahe ho",then the auto sped off,when we crossed the signal we spotted the same auto,we stopped right next ti him and abused him and joked at him,then we realised it was some other auto driver who stared at us like he was possesed of something,he was shocked to say the least,now when Aaush rides shotgun,he always decides to climb out of the window and start acting cool and all,while ZB swerves the car about to keep the bloke inside.
While on a stetch we hit 100+ kmph in a city street ,we decided to have some fun,we stopped at asked a guy
"dada sonargachi[a red light district] kothai?" [where is sonargachi]
the guy looks into the car filled with like 8 perverts ,and replied back
"chudte jacho?" [going to fuck?]
ZB replies "Haan tumi o cholo" [yes you also come along]
and we speed off again,another thing aaush seems to love to do is point at other vehicles while at high speeds to let em know if they have a flat tire or something,when they obviously dont have a flat tire,he did this to 2 cabs and a freaking bus and all the vehicles slowed down to check out if they had a problem,oh by the way the 20 minute distance was covered in 10 minutes by ZB,it could have been faster had he not gotten confused about some directions and of course we had not played around with that "sonargachi" thing.
The scourges of calcutta.Nuff said.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Sleepover
Yeah this one blog is about a sleepover i had with me pals babla and chintoo ,now for all you folks out there thinking why do 20 year olds have sleepovers?,its cause we are 20 years old physically but mentally i am around 9,babla is 12 and rohit is the most mature amongst us at a cool 15.Since chintoo/rohit doesnt stay in calcutta anymore ,whenever he does come over we have one sleepover at me place,thats become the law now,this one sleepover was held quite recently on the night of the game between Aston Villa and Liverpool,now i wasnt that keen on the game coz of our poor form and all,i was much more interested in me pals.
As per usual rohit [the ever punctual guy] comes bang on time at around 8,he had made this absolutely kickass cake before and brought a lot more [the gay can cook!,well bake at least],i was treating em punks to dinner coz of my excellent MAT score[98.55%,i dont wanna brag but....],so we spent that evening remembering the good old days of STB,of Pope tera baap hai,of I had a fock and the other amazing stories as to how August Muni was the best penalty taker coz he was cock eyed and no one knew where he was gonna shoot,or about MR Raha "Mr Foolar has 2 daughter ,both of them are girls" his one liners still crack us up.Plus he bought his extrenal HD with a ton of movies and videos to see,some of his college in Suratkal ,some about comedy and the likes.
Babla as ever the late bastard came at around 10 but again as per law he brought ice cream to have with cake,fuck yeah!,the night starts with us having dinner and laughing our asses off coz of the hilarious jokes and crazy retarded things that happened at STB,quite naturally we laughed more than we ate,then came time for dessert,which was eaten in 2 shifts ,the first one was right after dinner with chocolate sauce that babla stole from his father's house[adil's house,thats another running joke],then we retired to my room,and again the night was spent abusing each other,abusing imran and abusing a ton of other people like we normally do.
As soon as it was midnite babla goes into scary movie mode and was bangin about wanted to watch a scary movie,we watched the blair witch project the last time and babla was shit scared after that,this time rohit brought around "Paranormal Activity",the much hyped horror flick,now even though we watched the movie at midnite and all ,plus the fact it was pin drop silent ,it wasnt that scary a movie but again as per the law babla was hiding under the sheets,while rohit was on the brink of falling asleep,i had to keep em both up,movie done and babla dozes off,usually its chintoo who goes off first while i piss the brain out of the other person awake,this time i had rohit for a nice long chat about chix,sex,school,college and friendship,football was one me mind and i tuned into the Villa Liverpool match,the 2nd half had started and it was still goal less between the sides.
It was around the 60th minute when rohit was asking bout good old Aquaman/Little Prince/Aquilani,chintoo is a Chelski fan,he was a former
Madarchod UNITED fan who jumped ship,and was blasting Aquilani for being a "Khaaja" player and all,right then Liverpool had a free kick ,around 25-30 yards from goal and i said "If Aquaman scores,i will do some crazy shit........"
Rohit says "Fuck you wont do anything asshole"
i replied "I will kiss Babla.......for sure"[now the kiss was to be a big fat one on his cheeks]....calm the fuck down,no one will kiss babla on his lips cept his maagi.
Fortunately Aquaman missed and i was saved,the match goes on,chance after chance for Villa and a good few chances for Liverpool,as the match draws to a close ,i was thinking damn this might not be a good result for us at all,but in the 93rd minute up steps El Nino/FT9/Torres and guides the ball clinically into the net ,and i had to do it,celebrated wildly and kiss babla,he was startled and woke up rubbing his cheek
"Kya hua???? Kaaaaa hua?"
and off he went back to bed.....
This just seals the love bond i have with babla.
In a few years time get ready for this
"Babla weds Antara" our alter egos
PS:I ,am in no way gay,neither is babla,or chintoo,this was just a crazy night,so calm the fuck down.
As per usual rohit [the ever punctual guy] comes bang on time at around 8,he had made this absolutely kickass cake before and brought a lot more [the gay can cook!,well bake at least],i was treating em punks to dinner coz of my excellent MAT score[98.55%,i dont wanna brag but....],so we spent that evening remembering the good old days of STB,of Pope tera baap hai,of I had a fock and the other amazing stories as to how August Muni was the best penalty taker coz he was cock eyed and no one knew where he was gonna shoot,or about MR Raha "Mr Foolar has 2 daughter ,both of them are girls" his one liners still crack us up.Plus he bought his extrenal HD with a ton of movies and videos to see,some of his college in Suratkal ,some about comedy and the likes.
Babla as ever the late bastard came at around 10 but again as per law he brought ice cream to have with cake,fuck yeah!,the night starts with us having dinner and laughing our asses off coz of the hilarious jokes and crazy retarded things that happened at STB,quite naturally we laughed more than we ate,then came time for dessert,which was eaten in 2 shifts ,the first one was right after dinner with chocolate sauce that babla stole from his father's house[adil's house,thats another running joke],then we retired to my room,and again the night was spent abusing each other,abusing imran and abusing a ton of other people like we normally do.
As soon as it was midnite babla goes into scary movie mode and was bangin about wanted to watch a scary movie,we watched the blair witch project the last time and babla was shit scared after that,this time rohit brought around "Paranormal Activity",the much hyped horror flick,now even though we watched the movie at midnite and all ,plus the fact it was pin drop silent ,it wasnt that scary a movie but again as per the law babla was hiding under the sheets,while rohit was on the brink of falling asleep,i had to keep em both up,movie done and babla dozes off,usually its chintoo who goes off first while i piss the brain out of the other person awake,this time i had rohit for a nice long chat about chix,sex,school,college and friendship,football was one me mind and i tuned into the Villa Liverpool match,the 2nd half had started and it was still goal less between the sides.
It was around the 60th minute when rohit was asking bout good old Aquaman/Little Prince/Aquilani,chintoo is a Chelski fan,he was a former
Madarchod UNITED fan who jumped ship,and was blasting Aquilani for being a "Khaaja" player and all,right then Liverpool had a free kick ,around 25-30 yards from goal and i said "If Aquaman scores,i will do some crazy shit........"
Rohit says "Fuck you wont do anything asshole"
i replied "I will kiss Babla.......for sure"[now the kiss was to be a big fat one on his cheeks]....calm the fuck down,no one will kiss babla on his lips cept his maagi.
Fortunately Aquaman missed and i was saved,the match goes on,chance after chance for Villa and a good few chances for Liverpool,as the match draws to a close ,i was thinking damn this might not be a good result for us at all,but in the 93rd minute up steps El Nino/FT9/Torres and guides the ball clinically into the net ,and i had to do it,celebrated wildly and kiss babla,he was startled and woke up rubbing his cheek
"Kya hua???? Kaaaaa hua?"
and off he went back to bed.....
This just seals the love bond i have with babla.
In a few years time get ready for this
"Babla weds Antara" our alter egos
PS:I ,am in no way gay,neither is babla,or chintoo,this was just a crazy night,so calm the fuck down.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Best Fest Pests
Now i do admit that i never knew what fests were when i was in Dubai,had no freaking idea,this fest thing came full throttle when i came back to calcutta and was in the glorious school whoes name you all should know about,the first fest i did attend was held by the APJ school where adil ,gablu,nagu,babla,afzal and chintoo and i played a couple of songs and won.
Nevertheless i wouldnt attend any fest until and unless i had to do something there,like play in the school band or something,coz ultimately it would get boring and cliched ,plus it would become a collosal waste of my time.
So when me pal rohit called me up on the 5th of december and asked me to come along to a fest i was skeptical to say the least,but since i dont meet me school friends all that much due to most of us being scattered away to different parts of the city and for rohit the country ,i thought what the heck at least the old stb gang will be back,at least a few of us would be.
I was a hell more skeptical about attending the fest cause it was "Umang" ,now for all you noobs like me who dont know jack about fests,this "fest" is probably the biggest in terms of college fests in calcutta,it brings in those MTV splitsvilla and fucking roadies contestants for whom people go ga ga over ,all fucking fake attitude wannabe shit,i hate all that crap,most of me friends hate that crap as well,but i went coz babla was gonna play,adil as well,so it was gonna be a threefor.
So we met at Bhaggu[thats what its called] ,now a little history lesson for all of you,Bhaggu is this college which looks like a housing complex,in the middle of calcutta[my geography aint good so forgive me],where only 2 types of students are allowed,3 types
1:Gujjus
2:Rich snobs
3:People who couldnt get admitted to any other decent college
A few of me pals have studied there and are still studying,so off we went,we met sumitano on the way and before entering the college we were frisked and checked,we saw the real security of the college,most of em were these big intimidating looking guys from the college itself[students] one of em was a kinda school mate of ours Shergil ,you remember him from the maa ka kasam episode,so of course he did meet us talked to us for a while before [and i fucking kid you not] talking and using his "walky talkie" to find out some details etc,i mean come on the college is the size of a housing fucking society how the fuck do you require walky talkies?,nevertheless he was good enough to let us enter a second time without having to go to the back of the line....thats the use of contacts.
We later met babla,gujju ,adil and a few other people who were to play with the guys,babla gujju and a couple of guys played a LP song with a saliva song "king of the stereo" but as usual they had technical difficulties,the performance was brilliant,but the technical snags cost them a lota time,thats the one thing babla has learnt from so many shows
"Umm excuse us,we are facing some technical difficulties,please reset our time,we want to start again"
The other bands were ok ,some were really crap botching up some really good songs,Adil ka band toh sab ko maar dala,playing a medly of RHCP[give it away,californication,dani california] before ripping apart the competition with an original,well that was or at least should be good enough for em to win,i dont know the results yet,but these werent the best parts of the day by any shot.
As soon as babla went on stage,chintoo and i started shouting,along with sumitano "BABLA BABLA BABLA" and since we are former STB students we could shout much more than the netire crowd fo 200-300 people out there,yup just the 3 of us
I chipped in with
"JEET KE AAOGE"
and all that,of course we cheered for Gujju as well,screaming Gujju as loud as we could,no one dared say jack to us even though we were surrounded by the gujju population of calcutta.
One of the best bits started after babla had finished playing and he was in the crowd with us,this freaky hot mc was constantly on the mike asking people to shout out the different sponsors names like Power FM,Y.E.S stationary,Wild Stone perfume and all,we had one simple answer to it all
so
"Can people tell me who are our stationary partners?"
"RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"
"Can you all scream out the name of our radio partners?????"
"RRRRRRAAAAAAAAJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJUUUUUUUUU"
"Can people scream out our hospitality partners?"
"GGGGGUUUUULLLLIIIISSSTAAAAANNNN HHHHHOOOTTTTTEEEEEELLLLLL"
They even had this fashion designer called Kalol chakka Dutta
"who is the special guest of our fashion show????"
"RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAJJJJJJJJJJJUUUUUUUUUUU"
And after each question the lady would throw out chocolates and man people would fight for the chocolates,forturnately sumitano was able to grab a kitkat and we shared it amongst ourselves,the eight of us.
Oh yeah there were parts when people on stage would scream for bhawanipore and we would scream out
"ekbalpore,kidderpore,jamalpara,metiaburuz and sonargachi"
Sumitano even came up with a classic "Carmaker"-karmaker to a chick who sounded him off for the dick he was trying to be,although there were a ton of wannabes and assholes in the entire para,we were the only ones who seemed to enjoy the show,along with a few other mad fucks who wanted to start a moshpit but we couldnt do that coz we are all decent people who dont do jack.....
NOT!
PS:there were a ton of hot chicks present there,but we really didnt give a fuck to any of em,us few guys were having such a blast that all of us later crashed at my place[barring sumitano] and watched a bit of DESHDROHI!
Nevertheless i wouldnt attend any fest until and unless i had to do something there,like play in the school band or something,coz ultimately it would get boring and cliched ,plus it would become a collosal waste of my time.
So when me pal rohit called me up on the 5th of december and asked me to come along to a fest i was skeptical to say the least,but since i dont meet me school friends all that much due to most of us being scattered away to different parts of the city and for rohit the country ,i thought what the heck at least the old stb gang will be back,at least a few of us would be.
I was a hell more skeptical about attending the fest cause it was "Umang" ,now for all you noobs like me who dont know jack about fests,this "fest" is probably the biggest in terms of college fests in calcutta,it brings in those MTV splitsvilla and fucking roadies contestants for whom people go ga ga over ,all fucking fake attitude wannabe shit,i hate all that crap,most of me friends hate that crap as well,but i went coz babla was gonna play,adil as well,so it was gonna be a threefor.
So we met at Bhaggu[thats what its called] ,now a little history lesson for all of you,Bhaggu is this college which looks like a housing complex,in the middle of calcutta[my geography aint good so forgive me],where only 2 types of students are allowed,3 types
1:Gujjus
2:Rich snobs
3:People who couldnt get admitted to any other decent college
A few of me pals have studied there and are still studying,so off we went,we met sumitano on the way and before entering the college we were frisked and checked,we saw the real security of the college,most of em were these big intimidating looking guys from the college itself[students] one of em was a kinda school mate of ours Shergil ,you remember him from the maa ka kasam episode,so of course he did meet us talked to us for a while before [and i fucking kid you not] talking and using his "walky talkie" to find out some details etc,i mean come on the college is the size of a housing fucking society how the fuck do you require walky talkies?,nevertheless he was good enough to let us enter a second time without having to go to the back of the line....thats the use of contacts.
We later met babla,gujju ,adil and a few other people who were to play with the guys,babla gujju and a couple of guys played a LP song with a saliva song "king of the stereo" but as usual they had technical difficulties,the performance was brilliant,but the technical snags cost them a lota time,thats the one thing babla has learnt from so many shows
"Umm excuse us,we are facing some technical difficulties,please reset our time,we want to start again"
The other bands were ok ,some were really crap botching up some really good songs,Adil ka band toh sab ko maar dala,playing a medly of RHCP[give it away,californication,dani california] before ripping apart the competition with an original,well that was or at least should be good enough for em to win,i dont know the results yet,but these werent the best parts of the day by any shot.
As soon as babla went on stage,chintoo and i started shouting,along with sumitano "BABLA BABLA BABLA" and since we are former STB students we could shout much more than the netire crowd fo 200-300 people out there,yup just the 3 of us
I chipped in with
"JEET KE AAOGE"
and all that,of course we cheered for Gujju as well,screaming Gujju as loud as we could,no one dared say jack to us even though we were surrounded by the gujju population of calcutta.
One of the best bits started after babla had finished playing and he was in the crowd with us,this freaky hot mc was constantly on the mike asking people to shout out the different sponsors names like Power FM,Y.E.S stationary,Wild Stone perfume and all,we had one simple answer to it all
so
"Can people tell me who are our stationary partners?"
"RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"
"Can you all scream out the name of our radio partners?????"
"RRRRRRAAAAAAAAJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJUUUUUUUUU"
"Can people scream out our hospitality partners?"
"GGGGGUUUUULLLLIIIISSSTAAAAANNNN HHHHHOOOTTTTTEEEEEELLLLLL"
They even had this fashion designer called Kalol chakka Dutta
"who is the special guest of our fashion show????"
"RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAJJJJJJJJJJJUUUUUUUUUUU"
And after each question the lady would throw out chocolates and man people would fight for the chocolates,forturnately sumitano was able to grab a kitkat and we shared it amongst ourselves,the eight of us.
Oh yeah there were parts when people on stage would scream for bhawanipore and we would scream out
"ekbalpore,kidderpore,jamalpara,metiaburuz and sonargachi"
Sumitano even came up with a classic "Carmaker"-karmaker to a chick who sounded him off for the dick he was trying to be,although there were a ton of wannabes and assholes in the entire para,we were the only ones who seemed to enjoy the show,along with a few other mad fucks who wanted to start a moshpit but we couldnt do that coz we are all decent people who dont do jack.....
NOT!
PS:there were a ton of hot chicks present there,but we really didnt give a fuck to any of em,us few guys were having such a blast that all of us later crashed at my place[barring sumitano] and watched a bit of DESHDROHI!
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Black Saddath 2:Older but not Wiser
Due to an overwhelming response by my legion of fans[2 people actually] i had to post a bit more on the musical journey a selective group had undertaken.
Although Adil was the mainstay of the band,the creative genius each other member had a designated role,babla was the yes man and is the gay love of adil's ,although we call it more of a father son relationship[adil being the dad],afzal our singer was the strong man who wouldnt change his mind no matter what,gablu was the one almost sane guy in the band but that wasnt for long he then became a foil for comedy throughout the practice,pragammoy[pogo] was the one guy who would actually abuse just as much as i or babla would and would shut babla up quite a few times,chintoo also joined us as a second guitarist later on,i was the all and out idiot ,a stupid freak having no knowledge of anything just there for stupid entertainment purposes and abusing a LOT.
It all started when nagu [the drummer] babla adil gablu afzal and i formed or were part of the school band,the band was up and doing well ,i was asked to join a few months later and so was gablu,practice we did hard,playing away at nagus "crib" where as usual babla's smell would over power our music quite often,his stench hasnt gone away now but he has found the wonder creation "deo spray".
We would get to competitions and the like when the junior school music teacher Hiland would let us know about em,coz for some reason a teacher representative was needed ,but this guy was a typical white boy asshole,first of all when we went to see him ,he was with a group of cheenas playing some crappy song on his keyboard,he had the same fucking keyboard as i do,after watching him play Adil said "eeeh Adeem is better than him",i know i was ,Hiland was a piss poor guy,but he did get us to some competitions,although he was an asshole we did use him to our advantage....
This was in class 11 for us gablu was a junior,and we had a bastard for a class teacher TK Shah ,yes that same fucker who used that "Saurav Ganguly" quip on me....check out E=MC^2 for more details bout this loser,and as we all hated this fuckers class we would use the "meetings" with Hiland as an excuse,although our meeting would not be more than 5 mins long we would walk all around school [our school is huge] goin to the A field,The B field,The C Field,roam about in the junior section and come back to class an hour later,hell we even were just sitting about in the junior section for 20 mins for no reason,for some reason TK never said jack to Adil,thanx to him we missed out on edumacation ,perfecto.
Now when we would arrive at the shows it would be a small green room packed with a load of bands,and as usual there had to be the "show offs" which meant people would dress up like rock stars ,you know black all about em,black nail polish,head bands ,wrist bands, there would always be the "drummers" who would twirl their sticks all in the air to show off,we would often just look and laugh coz the STB show was about to go on.
The STB show meant that babla and i would make stupid abusive comments left right and center and that would shut most of em up but some smart ass' would take out and start playing their instruments for no rhyme or reason so to shut their fucking traps up Adil was there,he would just set up normally and start playing song after song after song ,people started calling him "jukebox" coz he could play almost any known song,and then he would calmly say "eeeh sorry id ont know much" but at least he would shut a lot of people up.
Shows obviously werent all that they were cracked up to be,barely any hot girls at all ,crappy food,crappy bands [cept us and maybe one or 2 more],crappy crowds[cept the ever faithful STB gang],they would scream and shout no matter how good or bad we were.....
Of course we would level the playing field ,i remember one fest where one band where talking a lotta smack right after we came back from the stage and they were up next,we saw that one of their amps had been left behind,what were we to do?
we got a chance and we took it,we stuffed all out clothing ,which we had taken for the mock band competition and put it in me keyboard cover,we took the amp [it was a pretty decent one as well] and put it in the same bag in which all our costumes were previously kept,the people who were the culprits were ,me adil babla nagu chintoo and i think gabloo and afzal ,nevertheless we had to wait to see the looks on that schools face when they came off stage they were searching left right and center for it,
"yes we kept it here ....i dont know where it is.....oh god we are dead"
we were smirking away and sneaked out of the auditorium,kala mandir it was......
while we waited outside one more member of the same band came up to us and asked us if we had seen it
"nope.....we didnt see anything.....".....so cool so calm so collected....we could pass any lie detector test if it was required......
Although we didnt win the prize we certainly got something better ......that amp was like 4000 Rs and we needed another amp.......to go back to those days again.....
Coming soon "Black Saddath 3:how many times can we screw up?"
Although Adil was the mainstay of the band,the creative genius each other member had a designated role,babla was the yes man and is the gay love of adil's ,although we call it more of a father son relationship[adil being the dad],afzal our singer was the strong man who wouldnt change his mind no matter what,gablu was the one almost sane guy in the band but that wasnt for long he then became a foil for comedy throughout the practice,pragammoy[pogo] was the one guy who would actually abuse just as much as i or babla would and would shut babla up quite a few times,chintoo also joined us as a second guitarist later on,i was the all and out idiot ,a stupid freak having no knowledge of anything just there for stupid entertainment purposes and abusing a LOT.
It all started when nagu [the drummer] babla adil gablu afzal and i formed or were part of the school band,the band was up and doing well ,i was asked to join a few months later and so was gablu,practice we did hard,playing away at nagus "crib" where as usual babla's smell would over power our music quite often,his stench hasnt gone away now but he has found the wonder creation "deo spray".
We would get to competitions and the like when the junior school music teacher Hiland would let us know about em,coz for some reason a teacher representative was needed ,but this guy was a typical white boy asshole,first of all when we went to see him ,he was with a group of cheenas playing some crappy song on his keyboard,he had the same fucking keyboard as i do,after watching him play Adil said "eeeh Adeem is better than him",i know i was ,Hiland was a piss poor guy,but he did get us to some competitions,although he was an asshole we did use him to our advantage....
This was in class 11 for us gablu was a junior,and we had a bastard for a class teacher TK Shah ,yes that same fucker who used that "Saurav Ganguly" quip on me....check out E=MC^2 for more details bout this loser,and as we all hated this fuckers class we would use the "meetings" with Hiland as an excuse,although our meeting would not be more than 5 mins long we would walk all around school [our school is huge] goin to the A field,The B field,The C Field,roam about in the junior section and come back to class an hour later,hell we even were just sitting about in the junior section for 20 mins for no reason,for some reason TK never said jack to Adil,thanx to him we missed out on edumacation ,perfecto.
Now when we would arrive at the shows it would be a small green room packed with a load of bands,and as usual there had to be the "show offs" which meant people would dress up like rock stars ,you know black all about em,black nail polish,head bands ,wrist bands, there would always be the "drummers" who would twirl their sticks all in the air to show off,we would often just look and laugh coz the STB show was about to go on.
The STB show meant that babla and i would make stupid abusive comments left right and center and that would shut most of em up but some smart ass' would take out and start playing their instruments for no rhyme or reason so to shut their fucking traps up Adil was there,he would just set up normally and start playing song after song after song ,people started calling him "jukebox" coz he could play almost any known song,and then he would calmly say "eeeh sorry id ont know much" but at least he would shut a lot of people up.
Shows obviously werent all that they were cracked up to be,barely any hot girls at all ,crappy food,crappy bands [cept us and maybe one or 2 more],crappy crowds[cept the ever faithful STB gang],they would scream and shout no matter how good or bad we were.....
Of course we would level the playing field ,i remember one fest where one band where talking a lotta smack right after we came back from the stage and they were up next,we saw that one of their amps had been left behind,what were we to do?
we got a chance and we took it,we stuffed all out clothing ,which we had taken for the mock band competition and put it in me keyboard cover,we took the amp [it was a pretty decent one as well] and put it in the same bag in which all our costumes were previously kept,the people who were the culprits were ,me adil babla nagu chintoo and i think gabloo and afzal ,nevertheless we had to wait to see the looks on that schools face when they came off stage they were searching left right and center for it,
"yes we kept it here ....i dont know where it is.....oh god we are dead"
we were smirking away and sneaked out of the auditorium,kala mandir it was......
while we waited outside one more member of the same band came up to us and asked us if we had seen it
"nope.....we didnt see anything.....".....so cool so calm so collected....we could pass any lie detector test if it was required......
Although we didnt win the prize we certainly got something better ......that amp was like 4000 Rs and we needed another amp.......to go back to those days again.....
Coming soon "Black Saddath 3:how many times can we screw up?"
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Black Saddath
Yes i know its supposed to be "Black Sabbath" but this is what i used to call the great band for quite a few years ,call it my lack of knowledge bout good old fashioned 80's rock or just my stupidity it really dont matter any more,almost all of me pals who have played music with me have started the Black Saddath thingy,[i guess i confused the b's and reversed them and saw em as d's in the name]...so what you people may ask is "what is this Black Saddath?"
Black Saddath is a or was a musical movement where anything that was played well or if we just felt damn good about something during band practice we would start hollering out BLACK SADDATH BLACK SADDATH....aaah those really were the days,cramped up in nagu's room with the smell of babla[who at that time did not discover the invention called "deo spray",the heat in the room would kill us,there would be 5-6 guys and that was a bare minimum,most of the time it was nagu,babla,adil,chintoo,me but others would come and go all the time either to play along or fill in for some one some of the notables are roshan[gablu,nunkoo],bhaveen[gujju] and some others whose names cannot be remembered sorry,but as i was saying the room would often get so hot that most of us well at least Adil and i would play in our undies[which was not a good sight at all],babla would were that one sleeveless shirt he had and that one pair of shorts he had....setting up guitars check,keyboard check,mike check,amps check,drums check, bass check ......ITS TIME TO ROCK!
Not Really,coz we had a time limit that specified that we cld play between so and so hours which never held up as most of us were always late and so a practice scheduled for 3 hours would peter down to an hour and no more,of course during the practice the brains of the outfit was adil,and if you people have not heard him play you havent heard music,he probably is one of the best musicians in calcutta,fingers are malmsteenesque....cant say much more about that,adil would do more or less all of the work,telling what to play ,where to play,when to play,even sometimes how to play,while babla and i would provide comic relief,which as usual was about abusing the life out of one another or of some other poor soul,gujju or nagu or even gablu sometimes and you people should know by now what i do mean about "abuse"....raw raw uncultured abuses would flow out like a fountain.....
What did we practice for? it was for em school fests and all,we were actually pretty good,infact we won the first show we went to [the first show in which i was playing,the core band nagu,adil,babla had won before and they had won a lot] it was the Apeejay fest where to tell you the truth not many bands had come but as they say,you gotta beat what is infront of you,we did ,in fact we creamed em by playing
"BREAKING THE LAW"[neeyom bhanga] and "SANDMAN".......when we finished we heard the loudest roar from the STB boys ,there were just about 5-6 guys but their voices and of course abuses outnumbered the other 200 students present there......and that was a JEET....Jeet ke aagaye
Another time there was some show at Music world,and a lotta bands came to play,i wasnt feeling too good,needed to visit the craphole a lot and since it was early morning i had to use the workers toilet fuck man i cldnt get in it was so dirty,so i had to hold it,when we went up on stage we took on numbers like Its my life,Sandman ,Breaking the law,The symphony of destruction and then we played Sweet Child o mine,now all was goin well until nagus drumkit started shifting away from him every time he would use the base drum,so what did that mean?
Nagu:Adeem.....AAAAEee Adeeeeem,bass ko paas laao
Me:Fuck you man am playing the keys
Nagu:You do it asshole fucking do it now i cant reach it......
Me:Fuck man
so every other beat i would turn around and push the bass back into the reach of nagus ,man that was so massively pissing off......
then there was the horlicks fest where we were told that only 3 instruments can be taken onto the stage, we had 2 guitars a drumkit, a bass and a keyboard,i opted out as i didnt wanna look like an ass who cldnt sing,babla decided he would be a singer along with afzal and man we sounded crummy,but hey thats how the rules fuck us.....
There was another show at nicco park which was the best show out of the lot,there were around 10 bands ad we really did cream em,we played "Fear of the dark" as usual Adil murdered the field with an absolutely perfect solo,no questions asked,the best deal of it was that we got to eat chinese food as lunch and since it was free i was happy but i was happier coz it was chinky food......oh yeah and this was the day when i was certain that Calcutta was filled with gays,will fill you people up with that later
there are a few more memorable events we took part in especially kumafuckingjeets para show where we were asked to play at around 2 in the afternoon,werent given anything to eat or drink,not even fucking water,when we did start playing only like 6 mammals came to see us,kumarjeet his 3 friends ,the soundman and a fucking dog which ran away after we started taking numbers,and while we were in the flow shooting one song and the next to near perfection assholejeet cut our line off,what followed was a barrage of insults by babla especially the infamous FUBU episode......we did get paid 500 bucks [not per person but as a whole] but nevertheless something is better than nothing......
Here is a list of all the songs i remember to have covered:
"Paranoid":Megadeath
"It's My Life"-Bon Jovi
"Smoke on the water"-Deep Purple
"Fear of the dark"-Iron Maiden
"Aint talking bout love"-Van Halen
"Sandman"-Metallica
"Sweet Child o mine"-Guns n Roses
"American Idiot"-Greenday
"Kryptonite"-3 Doors Down
"Highway to hell"-ACDC
"Breaking the law"-Judas Priest
"In the end"-Linkin Park
"Summer of '69"-Bryan Adams
"Another Brick in the wall"-Pink Floyd
"Livin da Vida Loca"-Ricky Martin
"Lady (hear me tonight)"-Modjo
and there were many others some originals as well
"Nice way to die","Godfather" which is actually the best of the lot
And to end with here is a list of people that i have had the privilege and the pain of playing with,
Gujju,Kapbo[crow],Gablu,Mota[pragomoy],Aakash[EEEEsssshhhhkkkkyyyy],chintoo,babla,nagu,adil,swagat,afzal .
We still do shows so if you need someone to play and abuse about on a stuge with do dignity call us!
Black Saddath is a or was a musical movement where anything that was played well or if we just felt damn good about something during band practice we would start hollering out BLACK SADDATH BLACK SADDATH....aaah those really were the days,cramped up in nagu's room with the smell of babla[who at that time did not discover the invention called "deo spray",the heat in the room would kill us,there would be 5-6 guys and that was a bare minimum,most of the time it was nagu,babla,adil,chintoo,me but others would come and go all the time either to play along or fill in for some one some of the notables are roshan[gablu,nunkoo],bhaveen[gujju] and some others whose names cannot be remembered sorry,but as i was saying the room would often get so hot that most of us well at least Adil and i would play in our undies[which was not a good sight at all],babla would were that one sleeveless shirt he had and that one pair of shorts he had....setting up guitars check,keyboard check,mike check,amps check,drums check, bass check ......ITS TIME TO ROCK!
Not Really,coz we had a time limit that specified that we cld play between so and so hours which never held up as most of us were always late and so a practice scheduled for 3 hours would peter down to an hour and no more,of course during the practice the brains of the outfit was adil,and if you people have not heard him play you havent heard music,he probably is one of the best musicians in calcutta,fingers are malmsteenesque....cant say much more about that,adil would do more or less all of the work,telling what to play ,where to play,when to play,even sometimes how to play,while babla and i would provide comic relief,which as usual was about abusing the life out of one another or of some other poor soul,gujju or nagu or even gablu sometimes and you people should know by now what i do mean about "abuse"....raw raw uncultured abuses would flow out like a fountain.....
What did we practice for? it was for em school fests and all,we were actually pretty good,infact we won the first show we went to [the first show in which i was playing,the core band nagu,adil,babla had won before and they had won a lot] it was the Apeejay fest where to tell you the truth not many bands had come but as they say,you gotta beat what is infront of you,we did ,in fact we creamed em by playing
"BREAKING THE LAW"[neeyom bhanga] and "SANDMAN".......when we finished we heard the loudest roar from the STB boys ,there were just about 5-6 guys but their voices and of course abuses outnumbered the other 200 students present there......and that was a JEET....Jeet ke aagaye
Another time there was some show at Music world,and a lotta bands came to play,i wasnt feeling too good,needed to visit the craphole a lot and since it was early morning i had to use the workers toilet fuck man i cldnt get in it was so dirty,so i had to hold it,when we went up on stage we took on numbers like Its my life,Sandman ,Breaking the law,The symphony of destruction and then we played Sweet Child o mine,now all was goin well until nagus drumkit started shifting away from him every time he would use the base drum,so what did that mean?
Nagu:Adeem.....AAAAEee Adeeeeem,bass ko paas laao
Me:Fuck you man am playing the keys
Nagu:You do it asshole fucking do it now i cant reach it......
Me:Fuck man
so every other beat i would turn around and push the bass back into the reach of nagus ,man that was so massively pissing off......
then there was the horlicks fest where we were told that only 3 instruments can be taken onto the stage, we had 2 guitars a drumkit, a bass and a keyboard,i opted out as i didnt wanna look like an ass who cldnt sing,babla decided he would be a singer along with afzal and man we sounded crummy,but hey thats how the rules fuck us.....
There was another show at nicco park which was the best show out of the lot,there were around 10 bands ad we really did cream em,we played "Fear of the dark" as usual Adil murdered the field with an absolutely perfect solo,no questions asked,the best deal of it was that we got to eat chinese food as lunch and since it was free i was happy but i was happier coz it was chinky food......oh yeah and this was the day when i was certain that Calcutta was filled with gays,will fill you people up with that later
there are a few more memorable events we took part in especially kumafuckingjeets para show where we were asked to play at around 2 in the afternoon,werent given anything to eat or drink,not even fucking water,when we did start playing only like 6 mammals came to see us,kumarjeet his 3 friends ,the soundman and a fucking dog which ran away after we started taking numbers,and while we were in the flow shooting one song and the next to near perfection assholejeet cut our line off,what followed was a barrage of insults by babla especially the infamous FUBU episode......we did get paid 500 bucks [not per person but as a whole] but nevertheless something is better than nothing......
Here is a list of all the songs i remember to have covered:
"Paranoid":Megadeath
"It's My Life"-Bon Jovi
"Smoke on the water"-Deep Purple
"Fear of the dark"-Iron Maiden
"Aint talking bout love"-Van Halen
"Sandman"-Metallica
"Sweet Child o mine"-Guns n Roses
"American Idiot"-Greenday
"Kryptonite"-3 Doors Down
"Highway to hell"-ACDC
"Breaking the law"-Judas Priest
"In the end"-Linkin Park
"Summer of '69"-Bryan Adams
"Another Brick in the wall"-Pink Floyd
"Livin da Vida Loca"-Ricky Martin
"Lady (hear me tonight)"-Modjo
and there were many others some originals as well
"Nice way to die","Godfather" which is actually the best of the lot
And to end with here is a list of people that i have had the privilege and the pain of playing with,
Gujju,Kapbo[crow],Gablu,Mota[pragomoy],Aakash[EEEEsssshhhhkkkkyyyy],chintoo,babla,nagu,adil,swagat,afzal .
We still do shows so if you need someone to play and abuse about on a stuge with do dignity call us!
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Then and Now
A long time back when we[people close to my age] were young ,people who would act nuts were simply called nuts.A person who acted freaky would get labelled "mad" by the other family members and were told quite strenly to "stay away from so and so"...."dont talk to them much" and the whole shebang was on.People would avoid meeting that said "mad" person,and they would just be left alone away from all the hastle of family meetings and the sort of thing that makes you wonder if a family and its members are all that they are cracked up to be.
But now in this modern day and age everything is changing and so rapidly,i mean people who are not even close to mental problems...and when i mean mental problems i mean serious ones ,are getting pyschiatric help for small ridiculous problems like being overweight or even the great "depression",dont get me started on the depression thingy,a person is so so sad that he is suffering from depression and he needs help from a shrink,for fucks sake,when i was unhappy my parents would go like
"why are you sad?"
i would reply "aww nothing "
"yeah it better be nothing...or else"
that "or else" would scare the shit out of...which most of the time meant a great deal of shouting and rebuke thrown all over me,not to mention a beating once in a while,the beatings did stop after class 7 though,but they sure as hell made me a decent respectful member of society....well it actually hasnt done any of it.
Of course the good old days were miles better,life was oh so simple,you had freinds and thats it,there wasnt "love" or "hate" or "unhappiness",life was so simple that the most enjoyable thing in the world was just going out in the open and fooling around with a few more kids,we didnt have to think of the "future" ,our future or someone else's,we had no pressure to do well in school,ok most indians did have that pressure,i did as well but that pressure wasnt as severe as it is nowadays.There also wasnt the so called love problem which thanks to the raging hormones inside any teen cause a ton of tension,and of course there wasnt the addiction to pornography,come on all of you have got that bug sometime or another, dont fucking lie.
Nothing much has changed in my behaviour though over the past couple of dacades,yes i am 2 decades old now,sheesh with one single grey hair which everyone seems to notice somehow,oh and the acne ,man oh man what i wouldnt give to have a clean,clear spotless face.Back to me behavior,most of my friends are crazy and abusive and we personally dont give a shit to the public surrounding us,we constantly abuse and curse,but most people dont get em.
There are a few plus sides to growing old of course,i mean my parents dont haul me up anymore about my colourful language,neither do they say anything anymore to me watching porn,i have been caught a lotta time .....guess they have just given up on me.Some things are still there like a night curfew or the fact that i must let me parents know where i am going in advance and all but thats just a minor price to pay for unlimited abusing and the sort.
The most important thing i must tell out now is that in a few years time i will be out working and such and i probably will become everything that i hate,grouchy,busy,working,i would probably have no fun,no free time,wouldnt be able to abuse,meeting with friends would get reduced,i would have to start being accountable for my actions ,be more respectful,be more logical,be more attentive,be more energetic,be more useful.
But.......
Most people say that as you age you gain maturity,well i have aged from a stupid idiotic toddler who would say stupid things to a 20 year old guy who still says stupid things,i have matured from a kid who when he first learnt a few bengali words would use em everytime for no rhyme or reason at all...to a guy who learns abusive words of different languages not really caring bout the actual language,DragonBall Z is still one of me favorite cartoons,so are Dexter's Lab ,I Am Weasel and the rest of the amazing Cartoon Cartoons and of course my relationships with girls hasnt changed much,cept for that one girl who we all know about,so all in all i havent actually matured even one bit in 20 years and may i live like this all my life
PS3,Music,Porno,Football,Friends,KFC what else does a guy need?
But now in this modern day and age everything is changing and so rapidly,i mean people who are not even close to mental problems...and when i mean mental problems i mean serious ones ,are getting pyschiatric help for small ridiculous problems like being overweight or even the great "depression",dont get me started on the depression thingy,a person is so so sad that he is suffering from depression and he needs help from a shrink,for fucks sake,when i was unhappy my parents would go like
"why are you sad?"
i would reply "aww nothing "
"yeah it better be nothing...or else"
that "or else" would scare the shit out of...which most of the time meant a great deal of shouting and rebuke thrown all over me,not to mention a beating once in a while,the beatings did stop after class 7 though,but they sure as hell made me a decent respectful member of society....well it actually hasnt done any of it.
Of course the good old days were miles better,life was oh so simple,you had freinds and thats it,there wasnt "love" or "hate" or "unhappiness",life was so simple that the most enjoyable thing in the world was just going out in the open and fooling around with a few more kids,we didnt have to think of the "future" ,our future or someone else's,we had no pressure to do well in school,ok most indians did have that pressure,i did as well but that pressure wasnt as severe as it is nowadays.There also wasnt the so called love problem which thanks to the raging hormones inside any teen cause a ton of tension,and of course there wasnt the addiction to pornography,come on all of you have got that bug sometime or another, dont fucking lie.
Nothing much has changed in my behaviour though over the past couple of dacades,yes i am 2 decades old now,sheesh with one single grey hair which everyone seems to notice somehow,oh and the acne ,man oh man what i wouldnt give to have a clean,clear spotless face.Back to me behavior,most of my friends are crazy and abusive and we personally dont give a shit to the public surrounding us,we constantly abuse and curse,but most people dont get em.
There are a few plus sides to growing old of course,i mean my parents dont haul me up anymore about my colourful language,neither do they say anything anymore to me watching porn,i have been caught a lotta time .....guess they have just given up on me.Some things are still there like a night curfew or the fact that i must let me parents know where i am going in advance and all but thats just a minor price to pay for unlimited abusing and the sort.
The most important thing i must tell out now is that in a few years time i will be out working and such and i probably will become everything that i hate,grouchy,busy,working,i would probably have no fun,no free time,wouldnt be able to abuse,meeting with friends would get reduced,i would have to start being accountable for my actions ,be more respectful,be more logical,be more attentive,be more energetic,be more useful.
But.......
Most people say that as you age you gain maturity,well i have aged from a stupid idiotic toddler who would say stupid things to a 20 year old guy who still says stupid things,i have matured from a kid who when he first learnt a few bengali words would use em everytime for no rhyme or reason at all...to a guy who learns abusive words of different languages not really caring bout the actual language,DragonBall Z is still one of me favorite cartoons,so are Dexter's Lab ,I Am Weasel and the rest of the amazing Cartoon Cartoons and of course my relationships with girls hasnt changed much,cept for that one girl who we all know about,so all in all i havent actually matured even one bit in 20 years and may i live like this all my life
PS3,Music,Porno,Football,Friends,KFC what else does a guy need?
Thursday, June 25, 2009
2nd day in hell
After the tears and fears of the first day my parents did convince me to go back to school,one reason was that no other school was willing to take me until next year and the other was that me dad paid some 10000-15000 bucks to get me into school.....thanx Dad thanx a Ton!
so the 2nd day starts with assembly,the constant naggin by my "pals" i became the butt of all the jokes
"eeeh Dekh DUBAI AA RAHA HAI......DUBAI AA RAHA HAI"
that was my name in the during me first 2 years at STB.........DUBAI......any conversation with me would end up with DUBAI poppin up as a joke.........
Another thing surprised me was that people considered Dubai a city or at least a part of Saudi Arabia,which really would piss me off as some people would constantly call me Saudi as well.....and the fucking freaky thing is that some dumbass' still think Dubai is a part of Saudi Arabia......ITS NOT
ITS A PART OF THE U.A.E
UNITED ARAB EMIRATES......miles away from Saudi Arabia.....its a different country with 7 cities....Dubai being one.......so back to the point
Friends:yeah the greatest of gifts to man....the one group of peopel who never let you down.....always there to help you.....man i wish i had pals who had the above qualities........
Me first pal in school....Sid...the freak from New York was a total jackass....apart from the maths sir Mr Yassin calling him "putul" all the time.....it seemed his only job in school was to twist and molest my geometry box......riddling it with holes,using the compass on it.....throwing it about......i didnt say much to the guy coz he was a retard.....last i heard he was on drugs and alcohol [nice combo]
then i got a few new pals.....naseem,ijaz,rudrojeet and swagat
naseem was one of me bests early pals in school but the guy had one problem....he would watch all the soaps on STAR PLUS and would often burst into songs for no reason....like that freaky BARDAASHT SONG in which Ameesha Patel[sweet ass] dance with Akshay Khanna.....whatever
then came ijaz and swagat who were inseparable always together....never took me to THE TREE
rudrojeet was a drug addict and still is .....he and sid became real good pals and are probably the best faggers in STB or at least they were.......
but on the first day i did something that saved my life in STB and also gave me a kick ass pal
ROHIT SARKAR........one of the best students i have ever come across ....so here it goes....as i did not have the notes for the english class....i took the copy of this guy as me teach ,mrs banerjee told me to,
rohit gave me a stern warning........"RETURN THE BOOK TOMORROW FOR SURE"......i didnt give a shit to him then....but nevertheless i did return the book back....
HERE IS THE FREAKY BIT
when i did return it i said "THANK YOU" to which he replied "MENTION NOT PLEASE" i mean what the fuck?
after constant abuses in 2 languages....teachers ridiculing me,students ridiculing me......a guy who can speak english is here in STB????
FUCK ........it took me time to recover from the initial shock......as to how a guy could be so well mannered in STB....so that was the start of my longest friendship in calcutta
this group steadily group and now has become the deadly foursome[no sexual references here...]
chintoo=rohit sarkar
babla=babla
nagu=somraj sarkar .....he aint rohits brother...as i had initially thought
and me.....
of course there are others who are extendable members
manko=somanko bhattacharya.......
but this core group kept me alive and kicking in STB for the 5 years i was there......
and fortu-fucking-nately we still are the most kickass crazy sons of guns you may ever come across
be afraid......be very afraid......
so the 2nd day starts with assembly,the constant naggin by my "pals" i became the butt of all the jokes
"eeeh Dekh DUBAI AA RAHA HAI......DUBAI AA RAHA HAI"
that was my name in the during me first 2 years at STB.........DUBAI......any conversation with me would end up with DUBAI poppin up as a joke.........
Another thing surprised me was that people considered Dubai a city or at least a part of Saudi Arabia,which really would piss me off as some people would constantly call me Saudi as well.....and the fucking freaky thing is that some dumbass' still think Dubai is a part of Saudi Arabia......ITS NOT
ITS A PART OF THE U.A.E
UNITED ARAB EMIRATES......miles away from Saudi Arabia.....its a different country with 7 cities....Dubai being one.......so back to the point
Friends:yeah the greatest of gifts to man....the one group of peopel who never let you down.....always there to help you.....man i wish i had pals who had the above qualities........
Me first pal in school....Sid...the freak from New York was a total jackass....apart from the maths sir Mr Yassin calling him "putul" all the time.....it seemed his only job in school was to twist and molest my geometry box......riddling it with holes,using the compass on it.....throwing it about......i didnt say much to the guy coz he was a retard.....last i heard he was on drugs and alcohol [nice combo]
then i got a few new pals.....naseem,ijaz,rudrojeet and swagat
naseem was one of me bests early pals in school but the guy had one problem....he would watch all the soaps on STAR PLUS and would often burst into songs for no reason....like that freaky BARDAASHT SONG in which Ameesha Patel[sweet ass] dance with Akshay Khanna.....whatever
then came ijaz and swagat who were inseparable always together....never took me to THE TREE
rudrojeet was a drug addict and still is .....he and sid became real good pals and are probably the best faggers in STB or at least they were.......
but on the first day i did something that saved my life in STB and also gave me a kick ass pal
ROHIT SARKAR........one of the best students i have ever come across ....so here it goes....as i did not have the notes for the english class....i took the copy of this guy as me teach ,mrs banerjee told me to,
rohit gave me a stern warning........"RETURN THE BOOK TOMORROW FOR SURE"......i didnt give a shit to him then....but nevertheless i did return the book back....
HERE IS THE FREAKY BIT
when i did return it i said "THANK YOU" to which he replied "MENTION NOT PLEASE" i mean what the fuck?
after constant abuses in 2 languages....teachers ridiculing me,students ridiculing me......a guy who can speak english is here in STB????
FUCK ........it took me time to recover from the initial shock......as to how a guy could be so well mannered in STB....so that was the start of my longest friendship in calcutta
this group steadily group and now has become the deadly foursome[no sexual references here...]
chintoo=rohit sarkar
babla=babla
nagu=somraj sarkar .....he aint rohits brother...as i had initially thought
and me.....
of course there are others who are extendable members
manko=somanko bhattacharya.......
but this core group kept me alive and kicking in STB for the 5 years i was there......
and fortu-fucking-nately we still are the most kickass crazy sons of guns you may ever come across
be afraid......be very afraid......
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