I am massively thankful to the Lord above for gifting me with a ton of great pals, online and offline , who all can take my stupidity and abusiveness and throw it back at me when required or when it aint required.
Normally i dont actually HATE people,there are certain people i dont like but sure as hell hate isnt a word that i use so much, well barring a few football related people like Benayoun or Torres or Gaynaldo, Hate is a pretty strong word to use to describe how you feel about a person, but the Lord above didnt create the heavens with out hell and didnt create angels without of course the devil and demons and Cerberus of course.
So while i have the brilliant side of friends i must have a side of people i dont like and that too was limited to one or two people in my 21 years of existence so far,somehow both of em were muslim, now dont go calling me a racist , i am a muslim as well but thats not the point lets just say i hated these people and not muslims but these 2 guys.
So when i joined a brand new college i was having the idea that there are gonna be a ton of overzealous students who would be studying fighting hard to be the best and prepare themselves for the hard corporate life,that was far from what i got to see in this college, there are idiots and there are freaks and there are idiotic freaks who dont know what to do even though they are 20 years plus.
Take one such example of a dude called Suvodeep,the freak wont write squat when the faculty is delivering a lecture and as soon as I or whoever is sitting next to him writes or starts writing , right when you are in the flow he comes in with his idiotic tone and says
"Hey.....yeh kya hai?,kya likh raha hai"
All the fucking time he does this,once we were made to sit in groups for Quantitative methods class and we were asked to write our weights down on a piece of paper, no names just our weights so in our group everyone was putting their weights down, people laughed at my 85 kgs but i dont need to lie about squat, i then turned to suvodeep and asked him
"What's your weight?"
Suvodeep:Kuch bhi likh de na
ME:Abey kuch toh bol,how the fuck will i know whats your weight?
now let me put this in context,he is a guy who is almost 6 feet tall and is 20+ years plus he has had schooling till at least graduation,which means roughly 15 years of education at least and the stupid bum replies
Suvodeep:ok write down 30 KGS
unbelievable ,30 kgs? fucking hell what the hell man ,fucking idiot.Nuff said you would think
So i replied "What the fuck are you smoking man?,you snorting some shit kya? you snorting coke?"
Then i remembered his stupidity and explained,before he would take it to another level of idiocy
"Coke as in thums up you freak,because you probably dont know what cocaine is,go snort thumbs up you idiot"
Of course he isnt the worst of the lot in this college, there is the great Bhatti who seems to have had some sort of experience in everything that has been done in the field of humanity .No matter what is being taught , be it operations management,accounting,HR,IT,marketing,Quantitative techniques, economics, he has gone and been through it all and actually has a live example as well which includes him.
Like for example one of our communication sir's ,Chats sir asked us to share the saddest moment of your life, now no one wants to share something that is so personal but then again we have our bhati, he goes
"Sir i was working in a tunnel and i was supposed to put a rod in a certain place , so me and my colleague were trying to put the rod in and it had to be done at a certain time but we didnt look at the time and we put it in at the wrong time and the rod started shaking violently"
Now i would like to pause and let people know that in this sort of case what each of us were thinking was
"Damn you Bhati,that rod must have come out and pierced someone or killed something"
as bhati continues
"The rod was shaking so violently,i was so scared and my supervisor scolded me, THAT is the saddest moment of my life"
Bloody chut, hell a group of students started calling him bharwa and thats what we shall call him from now on.
Then there are the Db's,Doodh bhat's as Wasim named em, a couple of chicks who are sadist and think they know everything,no matter what the subject is and the fact is they enjoy trying to act smart and make others look stupid.
There is a sort of understand between us students that when one group is presenting the other group will not ask any hard questions at all,hell we dont even ask any question as we dont wanna make em feel inadequate about the presentation but the Db's wont allow that ,they constantly keep on pestering students and teachers about how much they know and how much others dont.
Plus the fact that somehow now they have started wearing make up and looking like whores doesnt seem to help the fact that they might be the most hated bunch of students in college , even more hated than i am.
One such case,in accounts class most people were talking and when the first Db looked back at someone who made a comment ,sir got pissed and was looking at her trying to tell her to stop talking
She replied "But sir you are ALWAYS staring at me"
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha
Poor sir was so embarrassed , we are laughing so hard damn it,hahahahahaha
she almost accused sir of being a voyeur , infact that is what she did,hahahahahahahahahaha sir had to come to her rescue and said
"Slip of the tongue,slip of the tongue"
hahahahahaha idiotic DB
of course i myself am an idiot trying to be friendly to people like suvodeep,our college tries to make sure everyone pays their fees at the proper dat so...
Suvodeep:Adeem,fees ka last date kya hai?
ME:today
Suvodeep:shit
Me:Kya hua ,didnt you know that?
Suvodeep:No,but what will happen if i dont pay?
ME:Chutia,everyone is paying it what the fuck is wrong with you? they will kcik you out of college probably after taking a late fee,what the fuck are you high? you smoking marijuana? or you snorting thumbs up again you chut?
Didnt you pay it on time?
Suvodeep:Nah i paid it,i was just finding out what would happen?
Me:Chutia
Suvodeep:arrey gaali kyu de raha hai?
Me:Nahin,I am chutia fucking hell,hum chutia hai
Chutia saala jhandu kahin ka :X
No comments:
Post a Comment