More than a year has passed of my Masters in Calcutta , the pressure is surely on with a lot of projects and assignments thrown down our throats, the placement season is to begin which means that people are going crazy about getting a job in a company.
Our corporate relations cell has set up so many rules and regulations its unfair, you can't change your job once you get selected, you can't miss one interview or you are out of the placement drive and a host of other rules are there, plus we are made to sign this sheet containing the rules in like 5 minutes and all, its quite stressful, most of us knowing that we wont be getting a job that we will retire with, getting the job is the most important thing for us all.
Our cell also has this bloke who thinks he is the greatest person that ever lived, not Austin Aries , the greatest wrestler and anti hero I have ever seen, the guy brags that Calcutta is a dead place and we should move out, Calcutta has no night life, no social life and all. Valid points but the facht is , HE is working in Calcutta, Why? I have no idea but I sure as hell will ask him one day.
Recently the same guy with another person from the cell, came into our class, made us sit like we were on death row or something and started lecturing us as to how one of the biggest companies was to come, Asian Paints was the name of the company . truly a big company, biggest Indian paint company, third biggest in Asia and so on, the list continues, the person was whoring as to how hard it has been for him to get the company to come here and how we should be happy and try our best to impress the person who is to come and show him our caliber and acumen.
That last bit is the thing that wont be shown by any of our students, for all the good students with a high IQ and all, which unfortunately includes me but some of the students here really know how to take the mickey out of situations, hence there is often stupid name calling for the teachers, asking random stupid questions, walking out of class going to the toilet and of course the classic , clapping your ass off even after the sir/ madam has finished the lecture, this happened to one of our college trustees , the clapping went on and on and his "stock" in front of my eyes went down and down .
So the day comes and everyone , including yours truly, has gone through the website just to get an idea of what the company is and what are the business options and plans that they do. I reach college and I dread people making fun of me for going through their website and being the butt of all jokes, I find the geeks reading the entire stock market performance over the years, stock options and all of the company, suddenly I feel I am not the sad person after all, there was one bloke worse off than me , Barik wearing a suit, for some freaky reason he wears a suit to stand out from everyone , yes he may have a high IQ as well but man does he look like a freak wearing what he does.
Now the worst bit about these meetings with the "corporates" is the timing of it, after a tough day of class, at 5 PM is our scheduled meet, which means the thing wont start before 6 PM and I wont reach home before say 8:30, If I am lucky. This day was not my lucky day, I had a terrible cold, plus 2 classes, back to back of Consumer Behaviour, which is a real toil to be truthful, Sir does try to make the class interesting but 20 minutes into the class everyone loses their interest, so after 2 classes, and a lot of sneezing and coughing, I did infect around 10 people sitting near me , some of em got to miss class on Monday, so they should be happy, back to the day.
Class ends and I feel terrible absolutely sick but I decide to stay on as that whole CRP cell may go crazy on me, the college sir comes with a few CRP people and we wait for the Asian Paints guy , somewhat sure that some old person will come who has a lot of knowledge and experience in the field, we also had somehow in our heads got the jingle of Nerolac and were thinking its the Asian Paints jingle, taking that out took some real hard work.
At 5:15 , the gate opens and this guy walks in who , at the most, is older than us by 5 years at the max, he was the HR head of the Eastern region, shocker, what was to start was more loltastic, now everyone was in the mood to impress him so all they asked was what job offers do they have and what are the opportunities for growth in the organization, then comes the barrage of questions
Q: What type of people do you want in the organization? Would you take Engineers?
A: I am sorry but its a company policy that for sales reps we do not take then but they can always apply for R&D but thats a long shot as well
Q: I did my Internship in a sales profile and I achieved my target, I am a Btech, so......?
A: Sorry but company policy again.
Q: Suppose I do apply and I have a Btech, what could be my options?
You should be able to guess the answer as well, again another bit was that we would get a sales profile in an interior tier 2 city or something , which meant keeping relationships with our dealers, meaning drinking and smoking with em, he made sure that the chicks should not get their hopes high but again a chick asks
if she will be made to go to places she would not enjoy and again the HR defends saying that the company would not expect anyone to go anywhere they are not comfortable but what was he supposed to say?
"Yes we expect each and everyone of you to whore about in front of our dealers so that they are happy and you become the sad crummy people that you are in reality"
Most of the smart people did not ask any stupid questions, some smart people did actually ask proper questions like their selling methods and all but all in all those 75 minutes I will not get back in my life, that whole clapping bit did not happen, my nose was red like a christmas ornament, my head was spinning like a top , while I made my way back home, tired, sick and pissed, the journey took me 2 hours, I somehow managed to twist my ankle real bad on the road and when I thought I did heat up my food back home I didn't set the timer right and the food came out cold from the microwave, too tired to put it back in.
The whole day was just an embarrassment for all the students, am sure that the HR will not be coming back to our college to pick anyone up, well am sure he wont come back for the Btechs and they still will ask him , Why?
So much for being in a place with high acumen people.
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