Gujju Che che

Before i start this rant i want to make one thing clear.....i dont hate gujjus or any other caste creed etc....i just like making fun of them coz they deserve it,people make fun of others behind their backs ,i like to do it when they are the audience....so dont go all UN and all on my ass and call me a rascist.....
i hate everyone equally.....even myself.....and so i begin

I know a ton of gujjus,the problem is they seem to be everywhere in this world,they and biharis of course,time and time again i find them invading my space and all.....i mean in school what was the probability of finding gujjus in Calcutta near kidderpore in probably the most rowdy school of all time....that when they have a proper gujju school/college in calcutta ,Bhaggu as people call it...and of course they had La Marts which is like a gujju haven.....but in me class i had around 3-4 gujjus...who all were nice...but they were freaks...which is actually a requisite to be a student of STB.

I remember Bhaveen Jhutani,a teacher called him Bhavani Jawanee....or was that us....no wait we used to call him Kutta Bhawanee,or even better Jhutanee....the dude is/was a great bass player....but that bit is overshadowed by his "gujjuness"....relating to stupid behaviour and crazy assed gestures and all,which have to be seen to be believed......then of course then was Harsh Niket Seta har baap ka beta.....but this guy was mellow not like the typical gujjus .....he was the nice guy actually in school...didnt ever cross no one or say shit or anything like that at all.....

of course they are not the only gujjus i have met in me life....and they obviously arent even close to the reason why i do make fun gujjus....actually bhaveen is a reason....another pal i met is sanket in college....and he is gujju personafied.....paisa paisa paisa.....thats more or less what he can think about
i remember in me first year o college how much he wanted me sandy and nikhil to join that stupid money laundering scheme ebizz.....fucking carzy assed scheme it was too other than that he is a good guy cept he has low tolerance levels of anything and is very and i mean very violent....but for some reason he keeps on sayin "i am not violent"

speaking of speaking....another thing is the accent....where they seem to close their noses while trying to speak ....its like a himesh song or something like that......of course all the indian states and their residents have their own accents so i cant just rip of the gujjus alone but the real reason i have to rip on em gujjus is that 50% of chix i have ever fallen for were gujju....sneha vakharia and ronica jethwa....God damn em caused me so much trauma and tension and pain....i dont
think i can fall for a chick ever again...cept of course if they are SUPER HOT and by super hot i mean meltdown...as in i will melt into a liquid seeing them,their body temperature is so fucking high that all objects around em will melt and liquify....and then the liquids will evaporate.....the chick has to be so hot
that a mirage can be seen some distance away from the chick coz she is so hot....

and of course my forte is pissing people off so how do you piss off a gujju?
the credit here must go to babla who came up with an innovative Q+A
Q:How do you spell gujju?
A:M-a-d-a-r-c-h-o-d

of course there is a mellow version of this which i use
Q:How do you spell gujju?
A:zhe-you-zhe-zhe-you

Here i go again

Now i know i havent got much to complain about in life........
i have more than the essentials needed.....a good house...check
a tv with cable.....check
my music....check
my game stations....check.....
a good set of pals.....check
kickass parents.....check.....
but there still are things that really get my goat and probably make mutton kababs out of it....so here i go....as usual ranting about things and as usual nothing can be done bout em

1:People who act fake or try to be cool:i have been all across the world but i have neer come across people and the way they act in calcutta
i mean at the malls all the wannabes....the people who try to act cool and all....plus when guys try so hard to impress chicks and all doing things which they are not good at

2:chicks who like the people i just wrote about in 1:yes i hate it when chicks fall for those fakeys

3:people trying to speak english when they obviously cant:i dont need to explain this do i?
please i dont try to speak languages i dont know.....and people who dont know english shoudnt try it.....it shld be a crime to speak the language if a person doesnt know it

4:people getting surprised when they learn bout my comps condition:if you know me for more than 3 years ......you should know that my computer crashes a lot....and so does most of the electronics i own/use....aka THE CURSE

5:people getting offended by my jokes and abuses:please ....dont make faces etc when i start abusing and cursing or joking.....if you dont like it......get the fuck out of my abuse range..........i promise i wont go after you if you are like 500 miles away from me.....i promise

6:people who dont like my taste in music: i got 2 words for them...fuck off....

7:manu fans:i dont think i need to write much about them scumbags....douchebags...losers....jerks

8:and for the time being and the one thing i do hate a lot are/is biharis.....will tell all bout em in me next blog for sure.....!