The Wedding Part 2 : The Invasion

To continue where I left off the last time, the wedding of the year was coming up, Rohit's sister's wedding and we were part of the crew which would "work" from the bride's side. This means just one thing, full on nonsense from the remaining 3 of us, Nagu, Babla and myself.

The most important thing Rohit/Chintoo told me was that his "friends" from mallu land would be coming, aka the NITK Suratkal people, classmates, southies, whatever you wanna call em, they were coming.

Rohit in fact told Babla and me not to make any southie jokes in front of certain people so that we don't offend em, which means we would offend em by making all sorts of jokes, see Rohit is a smart lad granted, came second in our school in the ISC exams,( really took his case that time) but his understanding of his friend's minds never seems to work, reverse psychology is what he should have done, "MAKE JOKES ON ALL OF EM" he should have said but he didn't and we did, make fun of the southies.

Before the scheduled date of the marriage it was time for the invasion, all of the NITK crew were coming over to stay at rohit's place, he had set up quite a few rooms in his building for the same, with beds, sheets and other facilities, the first day I went over I met Buddhesh, the first NITK bugger apart from Rohit whom I had met, a brilliant guy and with whom I had one of the best conversations, in case you people have forgotten this is the conversation again:

Buddhesh " You know Prasoona and I were............."
Me : " what? i didn't hear"
Buddh " she is my girlfriend"
Me : " WHAT????"
Buddh: " Yeah, you didn't know that, Rohit didn't tell you?" he says with a straight face
Me : "Fuck no!"
He calls Rohit over and I ask him
"WTF man? Buddhesh and Nalla are a couple?"
He looks at me like I am some crazy bugger, so does Buddh
Chintoo "WTF are you on?"
Me :" Arrey that's what Buddhesh said"
Buddh: " No, I said Classmate"
Me : "Fuck my hearing"


So we spent a good time chatting about how things were at NITK, the sodomy, the rapes and all, just kidding, it was nice to hear a bit more about Chintoo's "love" story and get the proper details instead of some half arsed ones.

I decided to stay over as the next day we had to go and collect bhabhiji, chintoo as usual went off to bed at 12 AM, which is late for him considering he would sleep at 9 PM in his school days and 10:30 PM in his college days, Buddhesh vouches for this.

Babla was supposed to turn up and he did in his all Rockstar glory coming in at a very early 3 AM, knocking us off sleep and then spending an hour talking about Ghosts, Jins ,Spirits and religion and no he was not drunk, the next day in the morning 6 AM we set off to receive the Bhabhiji,read that post if you want more details.

after the legendary pick up and drop off of the bhabhi, Rohit told me a few more friends were coming , so in the evening I set off for Rohit's place and found this huge bugger sitting in his living room, Joyraj was his name but everyone called him Zoyraz, since he could not pronounce the J and Rohit had a hell of a time to understand how he could spell his name. This guy was rohit's roommate for a couple of years and has the tag of being the laziest person at NITK, oh and for some reason he does not speak much, so I made sure he would speak more, a lot moe by constantly telling him every single day he was there

"JOYRAJ TU KUCH BOLTA NAHIN, KUCH TOH BOL YAAR"

Everyday, this went on and on and I trolled him like hell but the guy never did much but smile and walk about, he did respond but never in the STB way.
The other people I met during the invasion was Anudeep, the poor guy who is supposed to hang out with a lazy bum like me in Calcutta but we never do and this other guy from OOEHS!, yeah he had seen me a lotta times but I did not remember him, maybe it was due to teh fact he had shaved his head completely or it was due to the fact that I can't remember people from a week or 2 back, how would I remember him in he was my school mate 10 years back.

There was a final onslaught a day later from the real southies, people that Rohit had warned me not to make jokes on, could not socialize with em as much as I wanted to, most of the time I was with the 4 guys and Bhabhiji making lame comments and jokes.

The real fun was to begin soon enough, while we all were preparing for the grand occasion, Rohit was shitting in his pants, all of us wanted Rohit to get some alone time with Bhabhiji but that never happened since he went into beserk mode in trying to to get all the work done on time and plus, he knew if he did get some alone time , we the friends of his would make sure we all were part of the alone time.

He would remember this alone time, forever.

Coming up Part 3: The D Day

Bhabhiji

Weddings are completely crazy, especially in India, you get the crazy relatives always asking you "When is your wedding?" or "Oh my how much he/she has grown". Pretty embarrassing stuff happens, of course there must be some drama from some family member at the wedding.

I never really work hard during my relatives weddings, so when Chintoo told me that Nagu, Babla and I would do at least some work for his and now my sister's wedding, it seemed quite odd, nevertheless that whole wedding bit is for the next blog post, this time we have just one thing to discuss, "Bhabhiji"

You see, a long time back I had made a prophecy , Rohit would be the one who would get married first amongst the 4 of us, chintoo might have been small, shy and bashful with women but he seems to have the strongest bond with the female species, one specimen in fact. Babla might have some argument with that but lets not dwell into that.

While jokes have been made about how they got together, rejection, approval, that whole romantic beach thingy and all, Babla and I only cared about one thing, meeting the lady who took dear Chintoo's heart away.

When we found out that we would be receiving Rohit's better half from the airport, we thought "Screw the other southie buggers coming over, we just wanna meet her", the typical kameene we are.

The flight was at 6 in the morning, babla and I stayed over at Rohit's where we had a meeting with another of his NITK pals, Buddhesh, nice guy and all, when we were chatting I found something rather freaky

Buddhesh " You know Prasoona and I were............."
Me : " what? i didn't hear"
Buddh " she is my girlfriend"
Me : " WHAT????"
Buddh: " Yeah, you didn't know that, Rohit didn't tell you?" he says with a straight face
Me : "Fuck no!"
He calls Rohit over and I ask him
"WTF man? Buddhesh and Nalla are a couple?"
He looks at me like I am some crazy bugger, so does Buddh
Chintoo "WTF are you on?"
Me :" Arrey that's what Buddhesh said"
Buddh: " No, I said Classmate"
Me : "Fuck my hearing"

Anyways while Babla gave a nice night time lecture about Pagans,Belief, Religion and jinns till 4 in the morning, we were up by 6 to reach the airport since now rohit told us the flight was at 7:30. Screw bathing and all, we just put on some random clothes in the winter morning and off we went, Nagu joined us from his place.

We reached the airport by 6:30, having more than an hour in hand, since planes are always late, we went over to a CCD to have a good old breakfast, chocolate cake slice, sandwiches and the lot. After we were done, which took a good 45 mins, Babla went to the loo, he came back in 5 mins.

Me :" You went for a crap?"
Babla: "yes but, the toilets suck ass"
Me :" yeah I know its bad in almost all places here, hence I have a list of places where i can crap, like Malls and all"

We continue this conversation while we are waiting at the arrival gates, I keep blabbering about how shit these toilets in the Calcutta international airport is and how I don't even dream about pissing there, when my dear Nagu bursts out

"You know about Railway toilets?
i have fucking stayed over at railway stations
I have pissed there
I have crapped there
I have even had a bath there and changed my clothes there"
In his typical loud voice

We look around, every body who was there, especially this old uncle are staring at us like I walked in with a bomb and yelled something in the airport.

Now we had not met bhabhiji at all, Nagu had met her when he was in Bangalore for the Metallica concert, so he was our eyes, as you know a picture is different from reality, so every time some lady was walking past the gate we looked at Nagu for the sign if it was her or not. The arrival board first showed her flight status at around 7 AM, flipping wildly, we are expecting it to show "arrived" but it shows "DELAYED".

I let out a FUCK and start dialing Chintoo's number, babla tells me to wait and then it starts flipping again and baam this time it has arrived

"YAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY" we all scream, again said uncle looking at us like we just shot him in the leg.

After a little time this short sweet lady comes out and she looks at us and smiles at us, we turn back , nagu gives us the nod of approval and I scream out in this shrill voice "BHAAAAABHIIIIIJIIIIIIIIII", again everyone is looking at well me.

The first meeting with the bhabhiji was good, I mean the 3 of us ate her head when we were going back to Rohit's , was a long 90 minute ride, which I don't think she will ever forget.

Oh and now after being part of the nonsense and merryment we can safely say that bhabhiji is part of the group

Not just coz we got a name for her, like every member of the group but that she can take a joke and I mean a lotta jokes.

A toast to bhabhiji!!!

May the next time you come to calcutta say "Chintoo Weds Bhabhiji"