Sunday, June 28, 2009

Maa da laadla bigar gaya

I would probably be the first person who hates references to hindi movie names and songs for real life...........like my bhabhi did at a wedding.....she considered me to be gay and also told me "not to go for many girls at one time like SANDWICH"......you know the freaky govinda flick which i only would tune into for the gloriously sexy raveena..........
so i would hate to bring in some hindi reference to any of my posts....but i have to make an exception for a rather exceptional post....thats right this one post could and probably is one of the best stories[true] ever to come out of STB
so lets make the scene right.....

Mr Yassin me class 8 maths sir had a huge tution group full o muslim kids.....most were ruffians and goondas at that....but the man had a heart of silver[not gold ] and would take his entire batch out for a picnic every year.....
the man had one flaw actually 2....

1:one of his hands would always be bent down ala gay style....like some gay fashion designer....well all of em are gay anyway

2 :he would talk to people like he had paan stuffed in his mouth although he never had one ever.........

so back to the story......his class had this one kid called shergill hameed...the name itself has a history in STB.....i cant reveal all coz would be on his hitlist then.....
so for all the people who dont know this guy lemme give you a brief idea of what he was...abusive....had "contacts".....had a ton o guts.......fought a lot....had ruffians for pals......get the picture?

so Yassin rented a couple of cars actually vans for the trip......he would accompany a few students in one and the other students would be with a driver in the other....and off they went....needless to say mr hameed was in the car without the teach.....

so he and his pals ask the driver to slow down and start faggin away...smoking away like there is no tommorrow ........its like a rock groups tour bus with the amount of smoke coming out......
after a few minutes they see in the distance......Yassin has stopped by the side of the road and is flaggin the other car to stop.....in a jiffy the guys butted out their cigs but the smoke was evidence for yassin to figure out that something was fishy......so in his traditional yassin self he asks

"GAAAAARIIIIIII SEEEEEEE DUUUUUAAAAAAAA KYUUU NIKAAAAL RAHA HAIIII??????"
hameed replied
"aaaoooo sirrr engine garam ho gaya engine garam ho gaya"......
yassin cant answer back...and they head off for the picnic......
when they come back after the picnic....yassin tries to grill everyone bout the "smoke" session
one by one students are asked if they had smoked in the car or not....and almost everyone said yes because Yassin used a brilliant tactic which no one can escape from....here is goes
"AAAACHAAAA ________ tum boooolooooo tummm cigarette piyaaa thaaaaa???"
as usual we are the best fibbers in calcutta
"nahi sir nahi piyaaaaa"
so then yassin uses some major leverage skills.....
"tum maa ka kasam kha kar bolo tum cigarette piya"
to which everyone said
"ha sir sorry sir..... cig piya tha...."
coz of course you cant dodge that bullet...although nothing may happen even if you do fib....but we indians consider it to be sacred and we gotta be righteous whenever out family comes into question

up steps HAMEED for the grilling.....
"achaaaa sergeeeeeeeellll tum bolo tum cigarette piya????"
"nahi sir hum nahi piya.........."
here it comes the BIG one

"tum maa ka kasam kha kar bolo tum cigarette nahi piya"
now before i tell you the response lets move into fast forward....after the grilling he comes out from the room and all his pals surround him and ask him what happened.....
and he replies back that yassin asked him if he did smoke and he replied no....then he asked him to tell him the truth.....using the classic maa ka kasam dialogue...........
to which he replied
" HAAN SIR MAA KASAM KHAKAR BOL RAHA HOO MAINE CIGARETTE NAHI PIYA....."
now we all got shocked by the response....i mean how can you say something like that coz we regard that we gotta tell the truth when someone asks for the maa kasam thingy
so we asked him....tum jhoot kyu bola?
he replies...

"sir bola tha maa ka kasam kha kar bolo.....hum bhi maa ka kasam kha liya....uska maa .....tera maa....kiska maa kya pata.....????"

whoa bullet dodged......king of retorts....check.....

No comments:

Post a Comment