Dont react,this isnt a review/preview/article about the movie Ghajini,i dont have time to watch em stupid hindi flicks,exceptions are always there.
This blog post is about one of the many teachers we have at Globsyn,you know my new B school[ooooooo aaaaaah],now Ghajini ,our Stats prof,has short hair like Aamir khan in the movie Ghajini,speaks in an accent with is both british as well as american and is short like Aamir Khan,not only that but he instills fear in us,he probably is the only person we students are scared off and the only teacher who actually gets respect because of the greatest emotion in the world,not love you fucktard hippies,but fear.
The first class we had with the Prof,he came in,told us to sit in groups and that we had to make a 10 minute presentation on a topic that he would give,since it was our 2nd week in college and we barely knew one another,as usual with us indians,panic and pandemonium got us,everyone is freaking losing their hair,sweating etc,while the guy is seated behind with another teacher,just enjoying the carnage that is set infront of him,sadist.
Not only that he was marking us for the term already in our first class and was cutting marks off if anyone from the group was talking,or when someone had a laptop on while a group was giving the presentation,he confiscated it,thats not the worst bit,he holds the laptop by the screen and chucks em one on top of the other.
Oh and he was also making snide remarks at the groups making presentations
"Look look,that guy is acting like he is an Emcee ,hahahahahahaha"
Sick.
Another day ,during some other sir's class he pops in and tells us to make a 30 minute presentation on Mean,Median,Mode,30 minutes?
damn we havent made a presentation for like 5 minutes,nevertheless he did ask one chick to give the presentation,that said chick was sitting behind me,when he pointed her out,i got goosebumps thinking he picked me up,but that wasnt a relief of any sorts as we shall see.
2 weeks ago the same guy came in and asked us to make a presentation on regression analysis and the like,so again off all of us got tense,the first thing i did when i got home was open my Stats for Managers book and open the regression chapter.
Fucking hell i couldnt understand one bit,barring the basic regression equation,i didnt even make a presentation for it,rather was calling me pals up if they understood what the hell the rest of the chapter is about,after all Ghajini asked us to make a 15 minute presentation for it,somehow i wrote some stuff in a book ,i took some pills as i wasnt well and went off to bed at midnite.
Next morning doom and gloom is the word i would use,now i should have learnt that it always rains when i dont want it to,similarly this one day i did not carry an umbrella with me and i was standing in a queue for the bus,not only was the fucking bus late by 20 minutes,i got completely drenched,plus i already had a temperature and a cold,perfect way to start the day,and its only 8 AM
The bus ride is an hour long and i got pelvic thrusts from wet men,fuck it,my shirt wasnt drying any soon,i my hair was a complete wet mess,rather than being a complete mess that it usually is,i reach college,sit down for a few minutes and anxiously chat with me pals about the chapter.
Barely did i sit down ,the Ghajini walks in as it was 9:45,schedule class time,i sit,am nervous,am wet,am cold,AC is on,and Ghajini says
"I hope you all have come prepared with your presentations,be it a PPT or you can use the board.....Any volunteers?"
No one raises their hand for this bit,its like asking someone to confess for murder ,so he goes
"Fine ,i will pick someone,YOU"
Fuck it,its me,i look behind me hoping he picked someone else,but damn it its me.
I get up as a nervous wreck but by the grace of God i Jeet ke Aagaye in the presentation bit,Ghajini himself said
"A brilliant job,i think he deserves a round of applause",of course in between the presentation i had to answer some questions and as usual a certain Bhati had some questions rather experiences and "something more to add",but leaving that aside it was a pretty nerve racking experience.
Now that i have survived the Ghajini,my fear of presentations are over and for some stupid reason everyone believes i am the best student for stats or as the college calls the subject "Quantitative Methods",i dont care about all that.
All i care about is that i Jeet Ke Aagaye!
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
The start of something new,again....
Again i know i havent updated my blog in a freaking long time,but this time its not my laziness which comes into question,oh no people its far from it,this time i didnt actualy have the time ,believe that people ,i ,me ,Adeem Karim the one person in the world who would sleep 13 hours a day did not have the time to update a blog.
Its not that i didnt have a lot to write about ,this new college or as they call it A B school has literally kicked the stuffing out of me,college timings are from 9:45 - 5 and they really make sure you do stay there,we gotta have something like 85% attendance else we cant appear for the exams,now that is bad enough but they must add more salt into the fresh flesh wound,by saying that we ,the students have to study before we come to class,solve some prep questions and wait for this hit,right below the belt,we have to give exams on everything that we have been taught every week,for every subject.
Now for a person who had something like 3% attendance in his final year of his bachelor's degree,its a completely different world,a dark ,different ,twisted sick world,which is so completely wrong in every and any way.There was always a lingering fear that ragging would be the biggest problem in this college,like in any college,but here the seniors dont have the time to rag you,the teachers are the ones ragging you all the time.
Presentations are like beggars on the streets,every freaking day someone or another has to present something,Ghajini[one such sir] asks people to make 20-25 min ppts and randomly picks people to present them,we have this prep english communications class which inevitably becomes a motivation class and we end up seeing clippings of Lakshya or The Pursuit of Happiness ,bah i know now the lyrics of some crummy lakhsya song like its tattooed on my groin.I am not a person who likes to study too much but man they make us work real damn hard every single day,even our weekends arent free.
However ,thanks to all the motivation classes i can now see the silver lining in this dark violent loud storm that has been brewing,i aint scared of making presentations any more,ever since Ghajini asked me to make a presentation on Linear Regression,presentations dont scare me anymore,the story goes like this,we were to make a 30 minute ppt on linear regression,i opened our stats book and the chapter made no sense,so the next day as i leave my house and i end up standing in a queue for a bus,its raining cats and dogs,am wet and pissed off,the bus ride is an hour long and i reach college with a bad cold and no idea what is to happen,and bang first period,am cold and wet and ghajini asks me to present.
Fortunately my presentation and english skills saved my ass from getting a firing i wouldnt forget,infact ghajini and the class applauded my effort ,even got complemented by the Ghajini.
The 2nd good bit from this college are my friends,unlike Techno where i technically found just one good ,proper friend,this time around i found quite a few,including my long lost brother(plus he is a musalman) so thats certainly good.Also most of the teachers do like me a tad bit,especially Marketing sir(he called me a proper romantic,amongst other things which can be misinterpreted),our communications maam and also Ghajini to an extent.
So this is the start of another beginning,2 years of hard labor and hard work,in fact one of these past weekends when i was studying to give an exam ,my dad popped into my room and told me,something which i never thought i would ever hear
"Beta itna padhai mat karo,thoda ps3 bhi khelo"
Its not that i didnt have a lot to write about ,this new college or as they call it A B school has literally kicked the stuffing out of me,college timings are from 9:45 - 5 and they really make sure you do stay there,we gotta have something like 85% attendance else we cant appear for the exams,now that is bad enough but they must add more salt into the fresh flesh wound,by saying that we ,the students have to study before we come to class,solve some prep questions and wait for this hit,right below the belt,we have to give exams on everything that we have been taught every week,for every subject.
Now for a person who had something like 3% attendance in his final year of his bachelor's degree,its a completely different world,a dark ,different ,twisted sick world,which is so completely wrong in every and any way.There was always a lingering fear that ragging would be the biggest problem in this college,like in any college,but here the seniors dont have the time to rag you,the teachers are the ones ragging you all the time.
Presentations are like beggars on the streets,every freaking day someone or another has to present something,Ghajini[one such sir] asks people to make 20-25 min ppts and randomly picks people to present them,we have this prep english communications class which inevitably becomes a motivation class and we end up seeing clippings of Lakshya or The Pursuit of Happiness ,bah i know now the lyrics of some crummy lakhsya song like its tattooed on my groin.I am not a person who likes to study too much but man they make us work real damn hard every single day,even our weekends arent free.
However ,thanks to all the motivation classes i can now see the silver lining in this dark violent loud storm that has been brewing,i aint scared of making presentations any more,ever since Ghajini asked me to make a presentation on Linear Regression,presentations dont scare me anymore,the story goes like this,we were to make a 30 minute ppt on linear regression,i opened our stats book and the chapter made no sense,so the next day as i leave my house and i end up standing in a queue for a bus,its raining cats and dogs,am wet and pissed off,the bus ride is an hour long and i reach college with a bad cold and no idea what is to happen,and bang first period,am cold and wet and ghajini asks me to present.
Fortunately my presentation and english skills saved my ass from getting a firing i wouldnt forget,infact ghajini and the class applauded my effort ,even got complemented by the Ghajini.
The 2nd good bit from this college are my friends,unlike Techno where i technically found just one good ,proper friend,this time around i found quite a few,including my long lost brother(plus he is a musalman) so thats certainly good.Also most of the teachers do like me a tad bit,especially Marketing sir(he called me a proper romantic,amongst other things which can be misinterpreted),our communications maam and also Ghajini to an extent.
So this is the start of another beginning,2 years of hard labor and hard work,in fact one of these past weekends when i was studying to give an exam ,my dad popped into my room and told me,something which i never thought i would ever hear
"Beta itna padhai mat karo,thoda ps3 bhi khelo"
Friday, June 25, 2010
Manko Man
I know i havent updated my blog in a while but that's because my exams were on,ok there were only like 2 exams but still the minimal amount of Bengali in me pops out during em exams and also the World cup was on.
Back to the topic,The 4th extendeble member of the group is Somanko Bhattacharya,no relation to Babla,[Soumyadeep Bhattacharya] although Babla has been pestering Manko[Somanko] about them being relatives in the future,read their children marry each other no matter what sex they are,he gets really upset about this babla manko "rishtedaaree".
I first came across manko in class 10,Babla had bought him over to my place and we played my beautiful ps2 all day long,that was the start of something special,manko me and the ps2 ,fucking amazing gaming sessions would take place,especially WWE Smackdown ,Fifa and then when my fifa dvd's would get busted pro evo soccer.The best bits were when i would commit fouls in the game and the fucktard ref wouldnt give him a foul,he would trun red in anger
"Adeeeeem ,i wont play if you cheat and play dirty"
I would just snicker like mutley and continue doing so,the oh so bloody brilliant lunge from behind right when his striker is through on goal and more often than not the ref would just give a free kick or something,Red manko ,in fact after all these pro evo games i started calling him vicious coz he would lose his temper whenever i would play dirty and he still gets pissed if someone calls him "Vicious",i dare you people to try it,however i wont be responsible for the viciousness of Vicious.
One such amazing game took place in Fifa 07,it was a good old fashioned Liverpool VS Manu game,and it was 2-1 to me with like 80 minutes gone,85 mins Manko equalizes,89 mins i run straight from the kick off and score,3-2,91 minutes gone and manko gets a free kick outside the box and scores a stunner,94th minute i get a free kick and i [rather harry kewell] curles a stunner into the next,and then i start the expletives,to go back to those days.
And of course since the bloke is bengali he must ,and i mean must have a pet name,Tiga= Chintoo,Babla and Nagu,so now Manko = Dushtu,and again he hates being called that from his friends but we all do call him Dushtu only when we need to piss him off,which is almost every time we or at least every time i meet him.Not to forget since he is a bong he like every other bong has a special power called "Bengali mode" ,during this phase ,studies is the only important thing for him and his family,more often than not this mode is on during the exams,which means no TV,no computer ,no enjoyment and all.Fortunately my Bengali mode is less severe than that of Manko's and Babla's,they act like they got wiped off the face of the earth.
Talking about studies and the like ,the bloke shifted from my locality to half way across the city to study in ,get this,Narula Institute of Technology,now of course i cant let him live it down,so i call the college "Jaspinder Narula Institute of Technology" which again pisses him off a lot,but its not something i can rectify,i piss almost everyone off,thats my nature,but the college was named after the wife of the founder who is/was Jodh Singh.Chod Singh as i refer to it.
Another of the manc army in India,i remember a huge prank that was played on a couple of manc's ,twas in class 9 or 10 and we were discussing about the founder of Malchoda united [man united] ,a ton of these anti manu guys came up with the name Anderson Fatilla,a brilliant Swedish striker who founder Manu way back when,and these 2 pricks believed it,again he gets really upset about the Fatilla episode,he does ask me about transfer news once a while to which my response is
"Manu are bidding for Baichung Bhutia and Climax Lawrence"
He probably is the proper maagibaaz in my core group of friends,although he denies this,its so fucking obvious,his friend list and scrap book is filled with chicks,plus he only and i repeat only gets calls from girls,and he mostly calls girls during the evening,wait now i know the truth,damn Manko man is a pimp,thats why he likes being called Manko,dammit i should have found out earlier.
He also has a wide range of abuses and is a proper abuser along the likes of me and babla,one of the few people who actually can destroy babla in his own game and more often than not beats babla up a bit,i guess babla is scared of unleashing the viciousness of the Vicious Manko,on yeah Vicious Bhattacharya is Manko's offspring's name,that i made up,he is the only friend whose kid will not be referred to as an expletive,for eg Babla's kid is Suorer Bachcha [son of a pig] and so on.
Oh yeah he is probably the only close friend of mine who actually keeps tabs on all of us,even if it means calling me and getting the shit abused out of him,aaahhh true friendship,hard to find these days.
Back to the topic,The 4th extendeble member of the group is Somanko Bhattacharya,no relation to Babla,[Soumyadeep Bhattacharya] although Babla has been pestering Manko[Somanko] about them being relatives in the future,read their children marry each other no matter what sex they are,he gets really upset about this babla manko "rishtedaaree".
I first came across manko in class 10,Babla had bought him over to my place and we played my beautiful ps2 all day long,that was the start of something special,manko me and the ps2 ,fucking amazing gaming sessions would take place,especially WWE Smackdown ,Fifa and then when my fifa dvd's would get busted pro evo soccer.The best bits were when i would commit fouls in the game and the fucktard ref wouldnt give him a foul,he would trun red in anger
"Adeeeeem ,i wont play if you cheat and play dirty"
I would just snicker like mutley and continue doing so,the oh so bloody brilliant lunge from behind right when his striker is through on goal and more often than not the ref would just give a free kick or something,Red manko ,in fact after all these pro evo games i started calling him vicious coz he would lose his temper whenever i would play dirty and he still gets pissed if someone calls him "Vicious",i dare you people to try it,however i wont be responsible for the viciousness of Vicious.
One such amazing game took place in Fifa 07,it was a good old fashioned Liverpool VS Manu game,and it was 2-1 to me with like 80 minutes gone,85 mins Manko equalizes,89 mins i run straight from the kick off and score,3-2,91 minutes gone and manko gets a free kick outside the box and scores a stunner,94th minute i get a free kick and i [rather harry kewell] curles a stunner into the next,and then i start the expletives,to go back to those days.
And of course since the bloke is bengali he must ,and i mean must have a pet name,Tiga= Chintoo,Babla and Nagu,so now Manko = Dushtu,and again he hates being called that from his friends but we all do call him Dushtu only when we need to piss him off,which is almost every time we or at least every time i meet him.Not to forget since he is a bong he like every other bong has a special power called "Bengali mode" ,during this phase ,studies is the only important thing for him and his family,more often than not this mode is on during the exams,which means no TV,no computer ,no enjoyment and all.Fortunately my Bengali mode is less severe than that of Manko's and Babla's,they act like they got wiped off the face of the earth.
Talking about studies and the like ,the bloke shifted from my locality to half way across the city to study in ,get this,Narula Institute of Technology,now of course i cant let him live it down,so i call the college "Jaspinder Narula Institute of Technology" which again pisses him off a lot,but its not something i can rectify,i piss almost everyone off,thats my nature,but the college was named after the wife of the founder who is/was Jodh Singh.Chod Singh as i refer to it.
Another of the manc army in India,i remember a huge prank that was played on a couple of manc's ,twas in class 9 or 10 and we were discussing about the founder of Malchoda united [man united] ,a ton of these anti manu guys came up with the name Anderson Fatilla,a brilliant Swedish striker who founder Manu way back when,and these 2 pricks believed it,again he gets really upset about the Fatilla episode,he does ask me about transfer news once a while to which my response is
"Manu are bidding for Baichung Bhutia and Climax Lawrence"
He probably is the proper maagibaaz in my core group of friends,although he denies this,its so fucking obvious,his friend list and scrap book is filled with chicks,plus he only and i repeat only gets calls from girls,and he mostly calls girls during the evening,wait now i know the truth,damn Manko man is a pimp,thats why he likes being called Manko,dammit i should have found out earlier.
He also has a wide range of abuses and is a proper abuser along the likes of me and babla,one of the few people who actually can destroy babla in his own game and more often than not beats babla up a bit,i guess babla is scared of unleashing the viciousness of the Vicious Manko,on yeah Vicious Bhattacharya is Manko's offspring's name,that i made up,he is the only friend whose kid will not be referred to as an expletive,for eg Babla's kid is Suorer Bachcha [son of a pig] and so on.
Oh yeah he is probably the only close friend of mine who actually keeps tabs on all of us,even if it means calling me and getting the shit abused out of him,aaahhh true friendship,hard to find these days.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Nagu
The 3rd member of the gang of best pals is Nagu ,aka Somraj Sarkar,this guys name was fairly easy to put together due to his mannerisms and by what he is called at home.As all of you must know by now,if you didnt already,all bengali children have a pet name,no matter how easy their name may be easy to pronounce or even if the name is something unique,every bengali kid has a pet name ,thats the rule.
So we have Babla,Rohit is called Tiga[although he is happy with the name,since it is somewhat similar to Ex Fulham manager Jean "Tiga"na,I have Bonny ,and thus Somraj being a bong has "Raja" and since the freak[and believe me he is the freakiest of the lot] would always stick his tongue out to show his disliking of anything i put 2 and 2 together and Baam Naga-raja [King cobra] was born,so to cut it down we started calling him Nagu.
The first time i met the bloke was in class 10,he used to sit behind my bench and he seemed to be a normal bloke,a proper normal guy is hard to find in my school STB,but this guy would keep his trap shut,do nothing,in fact his friend Debapratim was the one who would do all the madness between the two,so i thought he was the mellow bong kid in school who wouldnt do anything to upset people because he was afraid of getting beaten up.
Our friendship initially grew because we were in the same hindi class[wow 2 bongs taking hindi as their 2nd language,we werent able to let that pass because chintoo would have a right go at us,"Betray" and all],there was football to discuss as well,typically he is a manc cunt,but we became the best of pals due to the school band,i was asked to join and play along with nagu,babla,gablu[roshan],adil ,afzal.Nagu was the drummer and we all had our first practice i remember at Babla's Granny's but ever since that day we have always practiced at nagu's.
This bloke is probably confused about his orientation as well,from the time i remembered asking him a very important question his answer has always confused me
q:if you had a choice would you spend a night with the hottest female of your choice or your favorite drum kit?
A:Drumkit,every single fucking time.
Wow is all i can say,and plus he has never had even a go at a relationship,not even an inkling for it,again credit has to be given but since he is a retard it doesnt make it any better.
Again the other bengali characteristic pops up here,being related to music somehow or another,he is a decent drummer though,but his drumming skills and all arent the most distinguishing factor about the bloke in the group,so to recap
Babla=Abuser/Comedian,Chintoo=Geek/Wanna be tall guy,Me=I am the glue that holds the gang together,Comedian/Abuser/Catalyst/Typical Harami comment maker.
Nagu is the slow,dumb freak,now he is slow,but he isnt a freak because of that,he is the real freak because of his actions and emotions or lack of sometimes.
For eg:Some time in diwali we all were at nagu's terrace[i wasnt there] so the guys were all looking up at the sky and a few firecrackers started lighting up the sky
Nagu ,points to the sky and says casually "eh boom,.........Boom.......boom" ,pointing at every burst cracker,with no emotion at all,but he continued saying "boom" everytime something lit off.
Then there are times he tries to prove his stupidity and ignorance,chintoo,nagu and i were at chintoo's,and we were talking about our favorite author's,Chintoo had a ton of Hercule Poiree books or something,i remember making a ton of jokes on em,Agatha Christie as well,i think they were the same book,so i told em "Anon" is my favorite author,i dont read too many books barring game manuals or game magazines,so the 3 of us have a nice chuckle,then after 5 minutes nagu asks "Eh Who is Anon?",so we give him the benefit of the doubt and tell him "Anon is short for Anonymous",Nagu goes "Ohhhhh ok",5 minutes later "Eh Who is Anonymous?"
Then there was the great FA cup joke when Liverpool beat Manu 1-0 in 2006,and he is telling us the next day in school
Nagu:did you see Peter Crouch being busted open by Drogba?
Rohit:Drogba plays for Chelsea.....
Oh yeah whenever something wrong is said in front of him or he wants to interrupt someone,he makes retarded sounds from his mouth ,for eg if anyone has said some wrong fact or something he goes "eh burrrrrrrrrrr pup click clack booomp" and then he starts talking,although i think he does it to make himself the center of attention.
Normally a calm cool guy,sometimes he loses his cool and when you touch a nerve he goes berserk,if anyone constantly pisses him off,mostly me or babla he would shout out "Boka choda ,Khankeer Chele ,Khisti Khabi?"[Translation "Bak chod,Randi ka bachcha,gaali khayega?],oh and he has the strength of like 5-6 men,babla,chintoo and i cant hold him down,we tried but we fail every single time.So he is the wrong person to mess around with.
The avid footballer he is,and we are as well,so almost every alternate day at Rohit's we would play footie,Rohit + Babla,Me+Nagu+Manko,the 3 of us would be together because we didnt have skills and we all are overweight,well nagu aint but he is slow,Nagu though would make excellent runs and would invariably end up being right in front of goal,ball gets crossed and he is standing like a foot in front of the goal line,and then when you think he will finish,the finishing touch by nagu always ended with the ball hitting the roof's ledge,no goal,he did this every time we played like 15 times out of the 16 times he would have a chance at goal,thats talent.
He also sports a beard second to that of a criminal,full fledged beard + moustache combo,he even scared my cousin sister who now refers to him as "daari waala",we gifted him a shaving set on his 16 birthday i remember,he is unrecognisable when he is clean shaven ,he probably will get arrested one day for not looking like the person in his ID card or some,else a terrorist or something for sure.
Right now he is studying Architecture at BESU,he always had a dream about being an "arky" as he calls it ,i remember him being pummeled every single day by his seniors as it was part of ragging,but he couldnt rag his juniors,bloody chutia,nevertheless,his dream was always to build the roof for court where the Wimbledon finals are played,i think that dream is over as i heard the construction for the roof has begun or is finished,not sure,but i coaxed him to build ,or at least he will plan my next house,as he always reminds me,since he is an "arky" ,he will only make plans and not take part in the building process as he is not an engineer,typical lazy bastard.
So we have Babla,Rohit is called Tiga[although he is happy with the name,since it is somewhat similar to Ex Fulham manager Jean "Tiga"na,I have Bonny ,and thus Somraj being a bong has "Raja" and since the freak[and believe me he is the freakiest of the lot] would always stick his tongue out to show his disliking of anything i put 2 and 2 together and Baam Naga-raja [King cobra] was born,so to cut it down we started calling him Nagu.
The first time i met the bloke was in class 10,he used to sit behind my bench and he seemed to be a normal bloke,a proper normal guy is hard to find in my school STB,but this guy would keep his trap shut,do nothing,in fact his friend Debapratim was the one who would do all the madness between the two,so i thought he was the mellow bong kid in school who wouldnt do anything to upset people because he was afraid of getting beaten up.
Our friendship initially grew because we were in the same hindi class[wow 2 bongs taking hindi as their 2nd language,we werent able to let that pass because chintoo would have a right go at us,"Betray" and all],there was football to discuss as well,typically he is a manc cunt,but we became the best of pals due to the school band,i was asked to join and play along with nagu,babla,gablu[roshan],adil ,afzal.Nagu was the drummer and we all had our first practice i remember at Babla's Granny's but ever since that day we have always practiced at nagu's.
This bloke is probably confused about his orientation as well,from the time i remembered asking him a very important question his answer has always confused me
q:if you had a choice would you spend a night with the hottest female of your choice or your favorite drum kit?
A:Drumkit,every single fucking time.
Wow is all i can say,and plus he has never had even a go at a relationship,not even an inkling for it,again credit has to be given but since he is a retard it doesnt make it any better.
Again the other bengali characteristic pops up here,being related to music somehow or another,he is a decent drummer though,but his drumming skills and all arent the most distinguishing factor about the bloke in the group,so to recap
Babla=Abuser/Comedian,Chintoo=Geek/Wanna be tall guy,Me=I am the glue that holds the gang together,Comedian/Abuser/Catalyst/Typical Harami comment maker.
Nagu is the slow,dumb freak,now he is slow,but he isnt a freak because of that,he is the real freak because of his actions and emotions or lack of sometimes.
For eg:Some time in diwali we all were at nagu's terrace[i wasnt there] so the guys were all looking up at the sky and a few firecrackers started lighting up the sky
Nagu ,points to the sky and says casually "eh boom,.........Boom.......boom" ,pointing at every burst cracker,with no emotion at all,but he continued saying "boom" everytime something lit off.
Then there are times he tries to prove his stupidity and ignorance,chintoo,nagu and i were at chintoo's,and we were talking about our favorite author's,Chintoo had a ton of Hercule Poiree books or something,i remember making a ton of jokes on em,Agatha Christie as well,i think they were the same book,so i told em "Anon" is my favorite author,i dont read too many books barring game manuals or game magazines,so the 3 of us have a nice chuckle,then after 5 minutes nagu asks "Eh Who is Anon?",so we give him the benefit of the doubt and tell him "Anon is short for Anonymous",Nagu goes "Ohhhhh ok",5 minutes later "Eh Who is Anonymous?"
Then there was the great FA cup joke when Liverpool beat Manu 1-0 in 2006,and he is telling us the next day in school
Nagu:did you see Peter Crouch being busted open by Drogba?
Rohit:Drogba plays for Chelsea.....
Oh yeah whenever something wrong is said in front of him or he wants to interrupt someone,he makes retarded sounds from his mouth ,for eg if anyone has said some wrong fact or something he goes "eh burrrrrrrrrrr pup click clack booomp" and then he starts talking,although i think he does it to make himself the center of attention.
Normally a calm cool guy,sometimes he loses his cool and when you touch a nerve he goes berserk,if anyone constantly pisses him off,mostly me or babla he would shout out "Boka choda ,Khankeer Chele ,Khisti Khabi?"[Translation "Bak chod,Randi ka bachcha,gaali khayega?],oh and he has the strength of like 5-6 men,babla,chintoo and i cant hold him down,we tried but we fail every single time.So he is the wrong person to mess around with.
The avid footballer he is,and we are as well,so almost every alternate day at Rohit's we would play footie,Rohit + Babla,Me+Nagu+Manko,the 3 of us would be together because we didnt have skills and we all are overweight,well nagu aint but he is slow,Nagu though would make excellent runs and would invariably end up being right in front of goal,ball gets crossed and he is standing like a foot in front of the goal line,and then when you think he will finish,the finishing touch by nagu always ended with the ball hitting the roof's ledge,no goal,he did this every time we played like 15 times out of the 16 times he would have a chance at goal,thats talent.
He also sports a beard second to that of a criminal,full fledged beard + moustache combo,he even scared my cousin sister who now refers to him as "daari waala",we gifted him a shaving set on his 16 birthday i remember,he is unrecognisable when he is clean shaven ,he probably will get arrested one day for not looking like the person in his ID card or some,else a terrorist or something for sure.
Right now he is studying Architecture at BESU,he always had a dream about being an "arky" as he calls it ,i remember him being pummeled every single day by his seniors as it was part of ragging,but he couldnt rag his juniors,bloody chutia,nevertheless,his dream was always to build the roof for court where the Wimbledon finals are played,i think that dream is over as i heard the construction for the roof has begun or is finished,not sure,but i coaxed him to build ,or at least he will plan my next house,as he always reminds me,since he is an "arky" ,he will only make plans and not take part in the building process as he is not an engineer,typical lazy bastard.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Babla Man
Babla man is the ideal superhero everyone needs,he is based on a pal of mine Babla,oh well he aint no superhero or anything,but the most kickass times are with this freak of nature called Babla.
Interesting Fact:His name Babla [Soumyadeep Bhattachraya] is actually his father's name as well,the students at STB would call each other by their father's name,if they ever found it out that is.Fortunately for us we did find out his dad's name and thus a legacy was created,a legend was born and all the other cliches we use,its still not enough to describe the bloke.
The first time i met him was in class 10 when Manko man[his sidekick of sorts] brought him over to my place for a little gaming session,those were the days ,one on one matches on WWE Smackdown :Here comes the pain,ass whopping everyone ,but back to the topic,the guy seemed normal like i was normal in class 10,bit by bit little by little the different layers and phases of the Babla would be seen.
Phase 1:His first phase was the comedian/abuser phase,which still continues,it is legendary stuff in our school,i have to admit this guy is the funniest person i know,i say,half the story is how it is presented and all his stories kick ass even the crappy ones,king of comebacks,the prince of abusing,[am just carrying on this blokes legacy],he wrote so many good plays during this phase,which seem to
be lost now in his dark desolate house,or maybe in his cleavage ,i dont know,some of the titles i remember were "Somraj and the Security":an amazing love story,:Sumit and Trina:a porno story,and it goes on and on and on.
Everyday before class started and during recess all the boys from class 10A and 10B would come to one of the classes and hear the best
recital of the play,he spent so many hours writing the screenplay and dialogues ,it was magical, those days they are irreplaceable.
Phase 2:This phase wasnt much of a long one but it was still a phase,where he had 4[fore] fathers,namely his Physics teacher who abandoned him a few years later ,Adil[guitar god] the lead guitarist in the band for which he plays,Dave Mustaine it was i think the 3rd one and the 4th one was his biological father.We would pull his leg everyday about his fathers and which one was his real one and all.Classic shit.
Phase 3:The longest phase which has been going strong for a good 4-5 years now,the music phase,where he picked up the guitar and played every single fucking day without worrying about damaging his digits or even worrying about his studies,although as every bengali knows,when exams come we all go into bengali mode[no friends,no tv,no nothing,just books],he played every day to impress his father[Adil] and he was finally accepted into the music group and all.He would have gone nuts had that not happened.This phase also includes mini phases of liking and disliking bands,one day he would abuse a particular band and a few months later they had become the best in the world ,but thats babla for you,confused soul to the max.
This phase also included another mini phase,the dark lyrics phase,when Babla wrote a ton of lyrics to be used in songs all about death and the Devil ,you get the Idea,this was from where "Black Saddath" was formed,coz i didnt know Black Sabbath and when they were talking about it i thought it was "Black Saddath".
Of course phases were just a bit of madness of the bloke,there have been a ton of other retard incidents,especially during football games,one was when he was kicked square in the nuts by Ritu Daman Singh,the bloke had kicked the football with all his might square at Babla's nuts from like a distance of 2 metres at the most ,Babla was rolling about in pain,holding his nose[apparently that helps to
reduce the pain or something],he was shouting...
"I cant breathe ,i cant breathe",ever the smart alec i am i reply "Abey dont hold your nose,then you can breathe" ,man he was pissed at me ,but not as pissed as the whole Antara Haldar thingy,where i created a fake profile on orkut and this bastard fell hook, line and sinker thinking i was some metal chick ,the look on his face after it the truth was revealed to him after 3 months of toying around was hilarious.
Then there were dives when we played footie,he would dive like a ballerina who is the daughter of Arjen Robben and Cristiano ronaldo,performing triple klutzes and all before his huge frame would fall down slowly to make sure he wasnt hurt,and then he would do the chris benoit pain reaction whenever Benoit would miss the flying headbutt.
The "Gham" and "Ghem" was also every present,the "gham" was the ton of sweat he would pour out everyday,the "ghem" was his big fat ego coming out,his ego would be such a huge failing that we even named a shot after it,"The Ghem" Shot ,which basically was a crazy shot with all force but no direction,infact he was often told "No ghem Shots allowed" ,whenever we played in a small area.The Bastard still would do ghem shots and we would have to bring the ball back.
Another such incident was the "fubu" incident where he ripped Kumarjit not one but 3-4 new assholes when we went to play[music] at the blokes para,the fucking dog kumarjit was acting smart and treated us like shit at the place,well Babla didnt let him off the hook and was abusing the shit out of him in his own backyard on a mic,at 3 in the afternoon ,even when the mike was cut off babla followed him
around and abused him and his locality for another half an hour.
Then there was this huge 500 word scrap sent to Sumitano Dickhead about his sister and other relatives just to abuse the shit out of him,to be honest it was very well constructed and his bio background was the catalyst for the amazing scrap,sumit did find out who it was but man that was classic.
Although school has ended and college has started Babla is the one bloke who has kept the friendship intact,he makes sure,infact we make sure that amongst the 3 of us left in cal from the "group" [Babla,Nagu,chintoo and i] we make sure [babla ,nagu and i] that we meet at least once in 2 weeks,to share the tales of the fucktards in our colleges,oh what we STB students wouldnt do for another STB
college that taught all the courses we want :X
Infact we have made sure our "dosti" will stay strong,as we have decided what to call each other's children ,i think Nagu has the "Suorer Bachcha" thing reserved for his kids and Babla has the "khankeer chele" reserved as well.
Humlog Jeet ke Aayenge!
PS:He is the reason why the whole "Betray" system was made and rules were created to define who is a "Betray" or not,I know its grammatically wrong but its way more funny this way.
Interesting Fact:His name Babla [Soumyadeep Bhattachraya] is actually his father's name as well,the students at STB would call each other by their father's name,if they ever found it out that is.Fortunately for us we did find out his dad's name and thus a legacy was created,a legend was born and all the other cliches we use,its still not enough to describe the bloke.
The first time i met him was in class 10 when Manko man[his sidekick of sorts] brought him over to my place for a little gaming session,those were the days ,one on one matches on WWE Smackdown :Here comes the pain,ass whopping everyone ,but back to the topic,the guy seemed normal like i was normal in class 10,bit by bit little by little the different layers and phases of the Babla would be seen.
Phase 1:His first phase was the comedian/abuser phase,which still continues,it is legendary stuff in our school,i have to admit this guy is the funniest person i know,i say,half the story is how it is presented and all his stories kick ass even the crappy ones,king of comebacks,the prince of abusing,[am just carrying on this blokes legacy],he wrote so many good plays during this phase,which seem to
be lost now in his dark desolate house,or maybe in his cleavage ,i dont know,some of the titles i remember were "Somraj and the Security":an amazing love story,:Sumit and Trina:a porno story,and it goes on and on and on.
Everyday before class started and during recess all the boys from class 10A and 10B would come to one of the classes and hear the best
recital of the play,he spent so many hours writing the screenplay and dialogues ,it was magical, those days they are irreplaceable.
Phase 2:This phase wasnt much of a long one but it was still a phase,where he had 4[fore] fathers,namely his Physics teacher who abandoned him a few years later ,Adil[guitar god] the lead guitarist in the band for which he plays,Dave Mustaine it was i think the 3rd one and the 4th one was his biological father.We would pull his leg everyday about his fathers and which one was his real one and all.Classic shit.
Phase 3:The longest phase which has been going strong for a good 4-5 years now,the music phase,where he picked up the guitar and played every single fucking day without worrying about damaging his digits or even worrying about his studies,although as every bengali knows,when exams come we all go into bengali mode[no friends,no tv,no nothing,just books],he played every day to impress his father[Adil] and he was finally accepted into the music group and all.He would have gone nuts had that not happened.This phase also includes mini phases of liking and disliking bands,one day he would abuse a particular band and a few months later they had become the best in the world ,but thats babla for you,confused soul to the max.
This phase also included another mini phase,the dark lyrics phase,when Babla wrote a ton of lyrics to be used in songs all about death and the Devil ,you get the Idea,this was from where "Black Saddath" was formed,coz i didnt know Black Sabbath and when they were talking about it i thought it was "Black Saddath".
Of course phases were just a bit of madness of the bloke,there have been a ton of other retard incidents,especially during football games,one was when he was kicked square in the nuts by Ritu Daman Singh,the bloke had kicked the football with all his might square at Babla's nuts from like a distance of 2 metres at the most ,Babla was rolling about in pain,holding his nose[apparently that helps to
reduce the pain or something],he was shouting...
"I cant breathe ,i cant breathe",ever the smart alec i am i reply "Abey dont hold your nose,then you can breathe" ,man he was pissed at me ,but not as pissed as the whole Antara Haldar thingy,where i created a fake profile on orkut and this bastard fell hook, line and sinker thinking i was some metal chick ,the look on his face after it the truth was revealed to him after 3 months of toying around was hilarious.
Then there were dives when we played footie,he would dive like a ballerina who is the daughter of Arjen Robben and Cristiano ronaldo,performing triple klutzes and all before his huge frame would fall down slowly to make sure he wasnt hurt,and then he would do the chris benoit pain reaction whenever Benoit would miss the flying headbutt.
The "Gham" and "Ghem" was also every present,the "gham" was the ton of sweat he would pour out everyday,the "ghem" was his big fat ego coming out,his ego would be such a huge failing that we even named a shot after it,"The Ghem" Shot ,which basically was a crazy shot with all force but no direction,infact he was often told "No ghem Shots allowed" ,whenever we played in a small area.The Bastard still would do ghem shots and we would have to bring the ball back.
Another such incident was the "fubu" incident where he ripped Kumarjit not one but 3-4 new assholes when we went to play[music] at the blokes para,the fucking dog kumarjit was acting smart and treated us like shit at the place,well Babla didnt let him off the hook and was abusing the shit out of him in his own backyard on a mic,at 3 in the afternoon ,even when the mike was cut off babla followed him
around and abused him and his locality for another half an hour.
Then there was this huge 500 word scrap sent to Sumitano Dickhead about his sister and other relatives just to abuse the shit out of him,to be honest it was very well constructed and his bio background was the catalyst for the amazing scrap,sumit did find out who it was but man that was classic.
Although school has ended and college has started Babla is the one bloke who has kept the friendship intact,he makes sure,infact we make sure that amongst the 3 of us left in cal from the "group" [Babla,Nagu,chintoo and i] we make sure [babla ,nagu and i] that we meet at least once in 2 weeks,to share the tales of the fucktards in our colleges,oh what we STB students wouldnt do for another STB
college that taught all the courses we want :X
Infact we have made sure our "dosti" will stay strong,as we have decided what to call each other's children ,i think Nagu has the "Suorer Bachcha" thing reserved for his kids and Babla has the "khankeer chele" reserved as well.
Humlog Jeet ke Aayenge!
PS:He is the reason why the whole "Betray" system was made and rules were created to define who is a "Betray" or not,I know its grammatically wrong but its way more funny this way.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Chintoo Lee
This isnt a post about some retard brother of Bruce lee or some stupid indian Pj about a lee,this is a post about one of my best friends ever ,probably my first best
friend from Calcutta,a certain Rohit Sarkar.We first met in 8E of a certain St Thomas Boys school,the most notorious of all schools in Calcutta,but he wasnt like the typical STB students,rather he was cultured,respectable,soft spoken and the like,that all changed with our friendship though.
I remember the first time i talked to him regarding a notebook i had borrowed from him,the entire day i had been abused by every numbskull in the class just because my hindi wasnt good and i would talk about Dubai all the time[anyone would when they came from Dubai and had to study in STB] so as i expected a barrage of khankee ,chodu,chutia and the like,when i returned the book and said "Thank you",he replied "Mention not ,Please",Wow i didnt get abused,gotta be friends with this guy,i thought and that i did.
Rohit is one of the shortest people i know but that hasnt hurt him in his IQ and studies,the most intelligent person i have probably met,smart and kickass in studies,i remember he scored around 96% in ISC and he missed topping our school by some 6-7 marks,i ripped into him calling him a disgrace to the bengali heritage and that he cant ever show his face to his parents,should commit suicide and that i cant call him a friend anymore,because i was ashamed to be his pal,he retorted back.
"Tum laura kitna laya? 70%? sala chutia"
True but still coming first is the only thing for a bengali.
A brilliant sportsperson as well,cricket,football were two of his passions,he was a pretty good cricketer too,played for the bengal U something side for a long time,
he considered himself to be the Arjen Robben of school,sala Manc jumped ship to Chelski for the money,douchebag of the best kind i guess.We would often play on his terrace we included Babla,Nagu,Manko man and I,brilliant footballing ,the scoreline would often read 20-19 or some shit like that,and after the game when all of us would be sweaty and tired *poof* ,off went his shirt and he would start doing push ups for no fucking reason.A typical STB retard i guess.
OF course since he is a bengali just studies and sports wouldnt cut it for him,so he was also a prefect and would take part in almost every competition possible
As the great Ricky Bobby said "First or Last',that seemed to be this blokes motto as well,taking part in everything and trying to Win[so i guess Jeet ke aaoge was
in him from back then].He was so happy when he heard that he was going to host the first every spelling bee of our school,he would taunt us and bloat about him
hosting the shit hole event so much our ears bled,he started bloating about it around 2 weeks before the bee,that turd KC[our english maam] gave him the honor of being the first ever host of the bee and all.
The big day came and we were all in the crowd,waiting to see what Chintoo would do,he came on stage and as soon as he was about to start the round,after taking the introductions KC came on stage and she started hosting the show,Rohit spent the next 90 minutes just passing the mike from one participant to another,he was so embarrassed,but we well more specifically I wasnt let him off the hook so easily,taunted the poor bloke to death,that was certainly amazing,a few weeks later however he took his revenge while i was standing answering a question and i tried to sit down,he pulled the chair from beneath me and smack a fat guy fell and hit his head real fucking hard on the desk behind him,the whole class loled like hell,and Buladi[maths teacher] gave him a roasting,most people didnt give a shit to what Buladi said,so it really didnt matter.
He is acredited by creating one of the best oneliners i heard,when Buladi was about to hit someone with a ruler [this was in class 12] he shouted "Maar Randi Maar", brilliant.He is also called the Silent Assassin,not because he is some sort of martial artist but because of KC and me yet again,this time in class she was naming the students who would score 90 in ISC atleast in English,Aman,Achin,Ranjeet,Rishab,Adil,Sumit,Ramnik,and then a pause,now rohit sat near the window and i sat beside him,so he was covered by my big frame and all,KC says
"Where is that little boy? Rohit .......OOOOOOOOHhhhhhhh there he is sitting like a silent boy in the corner,a silent fellow he is too" in her crummy made up british wannabe accent
"Silent" i though,and i start talking in the same british cunt accent that KC was "OOOOOOHHHHHHH Rohit is a silent Assassin because he will score a 90 in ISC english,Silent assassin kills people by riding his cycle ,wow what a silent assassin,oooooooohhhhhh you little cheeky devil"
Cheeky devil he may be,but he is one of my best friends and now he is studying in NITK Suratkal,malluland as i call it,so whenever he comes back to cal he comes with his mallu english accent which we try to fix,and he goes back there with a fixed accent and then fucks it agains when he reaches there.
Oh and one more thing,people blame me for talking about porno all the time and all,but most people dont know that it was this clean little punk who got me started
with the porno surfing.
"Google >Pictures>Advanced settings>Turn Safety Filter off>Search for any female actors name + nude"
You horny cheeky bastard you.
friend from Calcutta,a certain Rohit Sarkar.We first met in 8E of a certain St Thomas Boys school,the most notorious of all schools in Calcutta,but he wasnt like the typical STB students,rather he was cultured,respectable,soft spoken and the like,that all changed with our friendship though.
I remember the first time i talked to him regarding a notebook i had borrowed from him,the entire day i had been abused by every numbskull in the class just because my hindi wasnt good and i would talk about Dubai all the time[anyone would when they came from Dubai and had to study in STB] so as i expected a barrage of khankee ,chodu,chutia and the like,when i returned the book and said "Thank you",he replied "Mention not ,Please",Wow i didnt get abused,gotta be friends with this guy,i thought and that i did.
Rohit is one of the shortest people i know but that hasnt hurt him in his IQ and studies,the most intelligent person i have probably met,smart and kickass in studies,i remember he scored around 96% in ISC and he missed topping our school by some 6-7 marks,i ripped into him calling him a disgrace to the bengali heritage and that he cant ever show his face to his parents,should commit suicide and that i cant call him a friend anymore,because i was ashamed to be his pal,he retorted back.
"Tum laura kitna laya? 70%? sala chutia"
True but still coming first is the only thing for a bengali.
A brilliant sportsperson as well,cricket,football were two of his passions,he was a pretty good cricketer too,played for the bengal U something side for a long time,
he considered himself to be the Arjen Robben of school,sala Manc jumped ship to Chelski for the money,douchebag of the best kind i guess.We would often play on his terrace we included Babla,Nagu,Manko man and I,brilliant footballing ,the scoreline would often read 20-19 or some shit like that,and after the game when all of us would be sweaty and tired *poof* ,off went his shirt and he would start doing push ups for no fucking reason.A typical STB retard i guess.
OF course since he is a bengali just studies and sports wouldnt cut it for him,so he was also a prefect and would take part in almost every competition possible
As the great Ricky Bobby said "First or Last',that seemed to be this blokes motto as well,taking part in everything and trying to Win[so i guess Jeet ke aaoge was
in him from back then].He was so happy when he heard that he was going to host the first every spelling bee of our school,he would taunt us and bloat about him
hosting the shit hole event so much our ears bled,he started bloating about it around 2 weeks before the bee,that turd KC[our english maam] gave him the honor of being the first ever host of the bee and all.
The big day came and we were all in the crowd,waiting to see what Chintoo would do,he came on stage and as soon as he was about to start the round,after taking the introductions KC came on stage and she started hosting the show,Rohit spent the next 90 minutes just passing the mike from one participant to another,he was so embarrassed,but we well more specifically I wasnt let him off the hook so easily,taunted the poor bloke to death,that was certainly amazing,a few weeks later however he took his revenge while i was standing answering a question and i tried to sit down,he pulled the chair from beneath me and smack a fat guy fell and hit his head real fucking hard on the desk behind him,the whole class loled like hell,and Buladi[maths teacher] gave him a roasting,most people didnt give a shit to what Buladi said,so it really didnt matter.
He is acredited by creating one of the best oneliners i heard,when Buladi was about to hit someone with a ruler [this was in class 12] he shouted "Maar Randi Maar", brilliant.He is also called the Silent Assassin,not because he is some sort of martial artist but because of KC and me yet again,this time in class she was naming the students who would score 90 in ISC atleast in English,Aman,Achin,Ranjeet,Rishab,Adil,Sumit,Ramnik,and then a pause,now rohit sat near the window and i sat beside him,so he was covered by my big frame and all,KC says
"Where is that little boy? Rohit .......OOOOOOOOHhhhhhhh there he is sitting like a silent boy in the corner,a silent fellow he is too" in her crummy made up british wannabe accent
"Silent" i though,and i start talking in the same british cunt accent that KC was "OOOOOOHHHHHHH Rohit is a silent Assassin because he will score a 90 in ISC english,Silent assassin kills people by riding his cycle ,wow what a silent assassin,oooooooohhhhhh you little cheeky devil"
Cheeky devil he may be,but he is one of my best friends and now he is studying in NITK Suratkal,malluland as i call it,so whenever he comes back to cal he comes with his mallu english accent which we try to fix,and he goes back there with a fixed accent and then fucks it agains when he reaches there.
Oh and one more thing,people blame me for talking about porno all the time and all,but most people dont know that it was this clean little punk who got me started
with the porno surfing.
"Google >Pictures>Advanced settings>Turn Safety Filter off>Search for any female actors name + nude"
You horny cheeky bastard you.
Friday, February 19, 2010
My first music attempt
Well this is my first attempt at electronica/electro pop
hope you people like it,its named Bitonia 222
http://www.4shared.com/file/225065343/adb38f39/Bonbon_Kayzee_-_Bitonia_222.html
http://host.hackerbox.org/download.php?file=032573b6b1d21963600514116bedd471
http://rapidshare.com/files/352464406/Bitonia.mp3.html
hope you people like it,its named Bitonia 222
http://www.4shared.com/file/225065343/adb38f39/Bonbon_Kayzee_-_Bitonia_222.html
http://host.hackerbox.org/download.php?file=032573b6b1d21963600514116bedd471
http://rapidshare.com/files/352464406/Bitonia.mp3.html
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