Normally I write nonsensical , highly erratic, illogical blogs which people for some reason do read and comment about, I got at least 2 people who constantly ask me about my blog, something is better than nothing, right BP and Pranav? [Mallu men]
This time around its fucking personal, I am absolutely sick and tired of being treated like my religion has absolutely no dignity or it does not deserve respect, when I hear about people saying that "XYZ said this about Muslims " and "Muslims are looked at in a certain way", I normally end up saying that its probably your fault for doing something stupid and making us Muslims look bad, hell I even said it recently over some matrimonial issue came up but after today I am sure either the country ain't secular as they say it is or some individuals just can't bear to look at us.
Its not like I have not faced crap like this before , you think that well people from a certain lower class will not be able to look past all those terrorist organizations and well the attacks on civilians and all but you sure as fuck hope that learned individuals and organizations will learn to at least respect individuals and look at them for who they are and not for what they can be or what they represent, I am talking from a country that gives us a right to follow any religion we want, well what is the point in that when everytime I say my name people act like I just popped out with a ton of nude pictures of children, you get what I mean coz heaven forbid I write the "B" or "G" word, I will have caused a furore and the police will be knocking on my door tomorrow.
I hate it when people tell me or ask any other person of any religion "How religious are you?" is that a way to guage how good or bad a person is? Religion is to be followed just to make sure that we don't end up doing EVIL things, Karma is the best example I can come up with, hell I believe in Karma but that is irrelevant, I know I don't go to Mosques as often as I should, I do pray, frequently, at least thrice a day, more than most others I know, so why is it that I can't be part of some rituals and celebrations that the 2 days of a Muslim's life is reserved for?
Is it so much to ask for?
Plus Bakra-Eid is more about giving, well so is the first Eid ul Fitr, its about distributing to the poor, but I wont be allowed to do it this year because my college, again, for the 3rd time in 2 years decides to remain open when it is a national holiday to make matters worse I have an interview with a company, and based on how there are so many rules and regulations with the corporate placements and all of my esteemed college, I wont be able to skip this else I will be out of the placement cell.
You think people say stuff for no reason about institutes and I sure as hell have tried to protect my beloved institute from a lot of crap thrown at it from many people but there has to be a limit and well they have crossed it this time, I can forgive people once for forgetting Eid, twice, fine maybe they are ignorant but this is on the verge of being racist and inconsiderate.
I am thinking as I write this blog and went all ballistic in college today , hearing the news of an interview on Eid , what would I prefer,
Living in a secular nation with secular minds but quite a few pathetic sick and demeaning minds who give you no respect when you treat everyone equally
OR
Would I like to live in a nation where we can be declared as minorities and treated like em, where we would not be an "equal" religion and we would know what our position is in the social strata, where we would know that we are the downtrodden ones and can't look up unless we already are mega rich and powerful.
Right now, I can't give an answer but you can guess why I would want to work in the UAE or Malaysia.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Bong man
Credit must be given where its due, with a Diwali release of his new movie, SRGay has whored the entire campaign and made it almost seem like he is running for election, now don't get me wrong , its not like I don't like the guy and his complete whoring about even saying that he would be at a marriage for all 3 days for a whopping 7 crores, I fucking hate him, he is in a long list of hate that I have, one day I will fix it.
Coming back, this entire bit of the greatest , most expensive movie ever made pisses me off, I hope the movie is a dud, I hope he never comes back to act in the lead role of the movie, I hope he never gets another hit, I hope he never gets to dance seductively with female stars who are half his age and like a 100 times whiter than he is or could ever be, I hope he has a 16 pack flab and it would go on and on and on, the movie however has provided me with something to write about.
SRGay, Hrithik and Amitabh Bachan to an extent have all acted as the Indian superheroes, not Shaktimaan esque but still Krish, Shanhenshah etc etc etc all are portrayed as THE Indian superhero but the sad fact is that they are not even close to being Indian or and Indian superhero. Got me thinking, I always wanted to be a superhero like Nightcrawler or Cyclops from the X men or have the money of Bruce Wayne or the massive complexes that Deadpool has [ do check out Deadpool] or no super powers but complete wit like Constantine [ not the Keanu Reeves version but the graphic novels], sure all these ideas are fun but what would a typical bong super hero be like? Well here he is , Bong Man
Obviously the alter ego, [real name and all] will start with S, seems ever bong I know is named with an S, when the professor starts the name call with S , it goes on and on and on, if not S then certainly the name will start with A
He will have a mustache, a badly kept one and will be going bald but for some reason he will have massive pride with the little hair he has on the head, thou shalt not comb but thou shalt not bald gracefully either.
His "spinach" would be ilish maach [fish] with beguni [fried brinjals] rice and dal, nothing would keep him down after downing a meal like that, of course he would go off for a good long doze after the meal for an hour or so, then he would have 200% energy and kick some ass.
The clothing would be the typical government working chap wearing a faded old shirt and trousers, flip flops and a briefcase, unlike Iron Man who has his suit in a case he carries, Bong Man would have old papers and receipts of all the purchases he has made in his adult life.
And the briefcase would still be wrapped in the plastic it was bought in, he would never remove the plastic, that would keep it a virgin forever , if someone dares to touch the plastic, he would use his greatest power, make a pout and become sad.
Every superhero is known for his impeccable timing and that is a similar trait followed by Bong man, unlike his counterparts he will always be late to any situation with the same excuse, "traffic cheelo" or just not bother to give a reason and start off with that IST, Indian slow time or some shit, always there at the party but just to clean up the mess when no one is there, our beloved Bong Man.
However he would, like almost every bong think he is some smart bloke with an Iq of a 150 and he would also have a view on every topic possible, from politics, red, to the fiscal policies of Uganda , he is a person immaculate with the worlds happenings, just that he has no idea of what is to be said about each thing except either to agree with it or disagree and use the same points over and over again just twisting the words here and there.
Our hero would also have a huge pot belly, perfect for those long bus rides, since he believes in public transport being the best, a crowded slow bus which would stop every 10 meters to pick up one passenger, the conductor would go "Go on inside there is a lot of space still left" when there are like 20 people hanging by the foot board of the bus, with the bus inclined to its right and whenever it would make a left turn the left side wheels would rise up almost a few inches.
Our Bong man would enjoy the hustle and bustle of the city, while he would stand right next to the female seats and give em a nice pelvic thrust with women screaming about "Gaye haath debe naa" [ Don't put hands on our bodies]
Another great ability would be of his to make sure that every great artist was bengali, from Tagore to Pierce Brosnan, from Kishore Kumar to Freddy Mercury, every one of them is bong and no one holds a candel to Tagore, no matter what field he or she is in.
But every great hero has its fallings, Bong man can never take part in a physical duel, he is too scared that his beautiful face will be shattered to a million pieces, a verbal duel? bring it on but proper fisticuffs? No fucking way.
Bong man is too lazy to do most things, and rather has a tendency to call for strikes at the smallest of reasons, he is part of a union where he is the head and he is the only member often complaining of low to no pay although he earns a salary greater than most middle class families live on, plus he gets subsidies.
Ah the Bong man, when shall we get the real bong hero we all want and deserve, maybe it is time for some one to rise up and take the challenge but then again, I bet he is too lazy to get up and make that costume I talked about.
Bong but not forgotten.
Coming back, this entire bit of the greatest , most expensive movie ever made pisses me off, I hope the movie is a dud, I hope he never comes back to act in the lead role of the movie, I hope he never gets another hit, I hope he never gets to dance seductively with female stars who are half his age and like a 100 times whiter than he is or could ever be, I hope he has a 16 pack flab and it would go on and on and on, the movie however has provided me with something to write about.
SRGay, Hrithik and Amitabh Bachan to an extent have all acted as the Indian superheroes, not Shaktimaan esque but still Krish, Shanhenshah etc etc etc all are portrayed as THE Indian superhero but the sad fact is that they are not even close to being Indian or and Indian superhero. Got me thinking, I always wanted to be a superhero like Nightcrawler or Cyclops from the X men or have the money of Bruce Wayne or the massive complexes that Deadpool has [ do check out Deadpool] or no super powers but complete wit like Constantine [ not the Keanu Reeves version but the graphic novels], sure all these ideas are fun but what would a typical bong super hero be like? Well here he is , Bong Man
Obviously the alter ego, [real name and all] will start with S, seems ever bong I know is named with an S, when the professor starts the name call with S , it goes on and on and on, if not S then certainly the name will start with A
He will have a mustache, a badly kept one and will be going bald but for some reason he will have massive pride with the little hair he has on the head, thou shalt not comb but thou shalt not bald gracefully either.
His "spinach" would be ilish maach [fish] with beguni [fried brinjals] rice and dal, nothing would keep him down after downing a meal like that, of course he would go off for a good long doze after the meal for an hour or so, then he would have 200% energy and kick some ass.
The clothing would be the typical government working chap wearing a faded old shirt and trousers, flip flops and a briefcase, unlike Iron Man who has his suit in a case he carries, Bong Man would have old papers and receipts of all the purchases he has made in his adult life.
And the briefcase would still be wrapped in the plastic it was bought in, he would never remove the plastic, that would keep it a virgin forever , if someone dares to touch the plastic, he would use his greatest power, make a pout and become sad.
Every superhero is known for his impeccable timing and that is a similar trait followed by Bong man, unlike his counterparts he will always be late to any situation with the same excuse, "traffic cheelo" or just not bother to give a reason and start off with that IST, Indian slow time or some shit, always there at the party but just to clean up the mess when no one is there, our beloved Bong Man.
However he would, like almost every bong think he is some smart bloke with an Iq of a 150 and he would also have a view on every topic possible, from politics, red, to the fiscal policies of Uganda , he is a person immaculate with the worlds happenings, just that he has no idea of what is to be said about each thing except either to agree with it or disagree and use the same points over and over again just twisting the words here and there.
Our hero would also have a huge pot belly, perfect for those long bus rides, since he believes in public transport being the best, a crowded slow bus which would stop every 10 meters to pick up one passenger, the conductor would go "Go on inside there is a lot of space still left" when there are like 20 people hanging by the foot board of the bus, with the bus inclined to its right and whenever it would make a left turn the left side wheels would rise up almost a few inches.
Our Bong man would enjoy the hustle and bustle of the city, while he would stand right next to the female seats and give em a nice pelvic thrust with women screaming about "Gaye haath debe naa" [ Don't put hands on our bodies]
Another great ability would be of his to make sure that every great artist was bengali, from Tagore to Pierce Brosnan, from Kishore Kumar to Freddy Mercury, every one of them is bong and no one holds a candel to Tagore, no matter what field he or she is in.
But every great hero has its fallings, Bong man can never take part in a physical duel, he is too scared that his beautiful face will be shattered to a million pieces, a verbal duel? bring it on but proper fisticuffs? No fucking way.
Bong man is too lazy to do most things, and rather has a tendency to call for strikes at the smallest of reasons, he is part of a union where he is the head and he is the only member often complaining of low to no pay although he earns a salary greater than most middle class families live on, plus he gets subsidies.
Ah the Bong man, when shall we get the real bong hero we all want and deserve, maybe it is time for some one to rise up and take the challenge but then again, I bet he is too lazy to get up and make that costume I talked about.
Bong but not forgotten.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
The progressive regressive complex
I really could have labelled this post as a lot of other sick sad titles but I chose to go the safe route, confusing yet true.
What this topic is about is pedophilia, don't run away this is a big topic so remember the days when i blogged about a certain Nigel Mitra, ex teacher from my school?
Well he is back!
The puja in our complex has a lot of artists performing, Abhijit Sawant was one and on the final day we get another artist to perform. Today when I was having lunch at home , my mom comes and tells me "You know who is performing today?"
I don't really care and ask "who?"
Mom replies "An old STB teacher, Nigel Mitra"
I almost choke my food and had to gulp down half a bottle of water to put the food down.
"Mitra? Nigel Mitra?"
My parents are shocked as to why I was going about his name so much, my face is a mixture of anger and utter shock.
Mom goes " Haha someone was saying he was a child molester, what crap."
My expression does not change and I tell her "Ma, he did , he actually did".
While I see the function going on I get this cold feeling within me, I must let you know, I never actually had to study under said person, no pun intended but my friends knew what kinda sick show he is and probably was.
He is a good musician though and for some sick reason he has been playing this concert of sorts for now 4 hours straight, that's right, 4 hours of watching a sick pedo freak play songs on and on and on.
I try had to think as to why the hell is he playing for so long?
Then I take a peek from my window and I get the answer. Answers actually,aged between 6-12 years, kids are seated right in front of him and he is playing his ass off, sick freak.
The sad part is everyone in the complex knows about this yet no one objects to this, give him another chance? He is human after all?
This is just to show how much we have progressed as a community and society, no more shall we degrade and look down upon people who have been kicked out of their jobs because of pedophila, Oh no, we, Indians, Bongs will make sure that these people come to our flagship celebrations [ for this complex at least] and have a fucking blast and play their hearts content , in this case will play their hearts content and then have a good wank at night after watching the children "enjoy" his music.
We really have progressed to regress and become chaman chutias, all my friends from school would have ripped this "thing" to pieces and then burnt his remains and pissed on the ashes but here we are giving him a stage to perform, absolutely sick and pathetic this is.
So many puns were there , The Curious case of Nigel Mitra
Sweet creams old man
Old is certainly bold.
What a sad state of affairs this complex is. Pathetic
What this topic is about is pedophilia, don't run away this is a big topic so remember the days when i blogged about a certain Nigel Mitra, ex teacher from my school?
Well he is back!
The puja in our complex has a lot of artists performing, Abhijit Sawant was one and on the final day we get another artist to perform. Today when I was having lunch at home , my mom comes and tells me "You know who is performing today?"
I don't really care and ask "who?"
Mom replies "An old STB teacher, Nigel Mitra"
I almost choke my food and had to gulp down half a bottle of water to put the food down.
"Mitra? Nigel Mitra?"
My parents are shocked as to why I was going about his name so much, my face is a mixture of anger and utter shock.
Mom goes " Haha someone was saying he was a child molester, what crap."
My expression does not change and I tell her "Ma, he did , he actually did".
While I see the function going on I get this cold feeling within me, I must let you know, I never actually had to study under said person, no pun intended but my friends knew what kinda sick show he is and probably was.
He is a good musician though and for some sick reason he has been playing this concert of sorts for now 4 hours straight, that's right, 4 hours of watching a sick pedo freak play songs on and on and on.
I try had to think as to why the hell is he playing for so long?
Then I take a peek from my window and I get the answer. Answers actually,aged between 6-12 years, kids are seated right in front of him and he is playing his ass off, sick freak.
The sad part is everyone in the complex knows about this yet no one objects to this, give him another chance? He is human after all?
This is just to show how much we have progressed as a community and society, no more shall we degrade and look down upon people who have been kicked out of their jobs because of pedophila, Oh no, we, Indians, Bongs will make sure that these people come to our flagship celebrations [ for this complex at least] and have a fucking blast and play their hearts content , in this case will play their hearts content and then have a good wank at night after watching the children "enjoy" his music.
We really have progressed to regress and become chaman chutias, all my friends from school would have ripped this "thing" to pieces and then burnt his remains and pissed on the ashes but here we are giving him a stage to perform, absolutely sick and pathetic this is.
So many puns were there , The Curious case of Nigel Mitra
Sweet creams old man
Old is certainly bold.
What a sad state of affairs this complex is. Pathetic
Monday, October 3, 2011
That time of the year
Everybody in West Bengal goes crazy twice a year, once during Christmas , somehow ever bengali transforms themselves into a Christian and how this is the most important time of the year and of course the New Year when all cell phones crash from 11 Pm on 31st December and my inbox gets flooded at 8 AM in the morning on the 1st of January about "Oye its 5 minutes till the new year ,please forward this message to get Rs 5555 as your balance, do it to 20 people, it works, it really does"
Ummm fuck off, it does not. NEVER HAS.
The second time is during the Puja's which is just about bigger than Christmas and New year's in Calcutta. This is that time of the year when everyone goes absolute bonkers, buys a ton of new clothes, travels late into the night "pandal hopping" not hopping like a rabbit but going from one Pandal to another, drinking their ass off and doing general maagibaazi and maagabaazi with the excuse of going to said Pandals.
I don't go for all that Pandal hopping, not because my religion does not allow, which it does not allow but because I am a lazy fat arse who , if he had a chance, would spend the rest of his life working from home and even ordering the weekly shopping online but that is never gonna happen.
Since walking around in the heat of Calcutta for hours and then standing in a crowd to enter a pandal getting elbowed and pushed about and eating street food is off the list the other thing that is done by me during this one massive week away from college, yes 1 whole week, no college, this one week I spend time watching the massive functions that take place in my complex.
Now I don't know what are the days of the Puja called but for 5 days its all shows, shows and shows. Normally we have a Ghazal night, followed by a proper singer this year it was Indian Idol Abhijeet Sawant , then they have a in house talent show, a night of Antakshari and finally the Dandiya night, every day its a pain as the noise levels are actually deafening and its the one time of the year I am excused from not opening the main door as "I really could not hear the bell".
Now I don't really enjoy these functions but I have to show my face at em , its like those lame ass family meetings, you hate em, you wish you could avoid em but you just can't. This whole function on paper should suck lame ass, it really should but it doesn't and here is why:
1: The Puja is always inaugurated by some ex star, Yukta Mukheey[ ok she was not a star], this year its Mahima Chaudhury and all, this means crazy people taking photos like Angelina Jolie just gave birth to a multi colored set of octuplets , laughable as people push and pull to get one measly photo with a star who actually does have better things to do but money talks, always.
2: The singing bit by say Sawant, people again go bonkers trying to pose and get a photo with him, probably did not get so much adulation when he was in Indian Idol. Then there are the requests, people randomly ask the singer to sing some songs which he/she probably cannot and will not do but is forced to improvise as again money talks.
3: The dancing, even though these Puja days are dry days and you can't get alcohol, you do get the uncles absolutely smashed dancing randomly with everyone and everything, even all alone when and if needed, the best moves I have seen?
One had raised up, clockwise rotation of entire body , 2 rotations, other hand up, anti clockwise rotation twice , now repeat for 20 minutes, take a break and then start again.
4: The long long long lines for vegetarian food, which I will never understand. Its fucking grass and weed and people make these huge lines just to get a taste of the said food when I can have a ton of KFC and chicken at home and really bloody enjoy the texture, do not gimme that crap that soya meat has similar taste and texture as chicken. Chicken is like premium gelato while soya meat is like that cheap frozen lolly you get on the street for 5 bucks.
5: Lastly , the music on DJ night, which is the same for all the dandiya nights, the songs are all remixed versions of hindi hits and the DJ is technically a guy who can operate a laptop with fade in and fade out, plus he can pause the music and shout out
"Raise you hands" or "Make some noise" or "Where are the girls?" or "Its time to party"
Yes, that is what we call a DJ in India.
Every year I get served with the same thing and every year I enjoy it, somethings never change.
Ummm fuck off, it does not. NEVER HAS.
The second time is during the Puja's which is just about bigger than Christmas and New year's in Calcutta. This is that time of the year when everyone goes absolute bonkers, buys a ton of new clothes, travels late into the night "pandal hopping" not hopping like a rabbit but going from one Pandal to another, drinking their ass off and doing general maagibaazi and maagabaazi with the excuse of going to said Pandals.
I don't go for all that Pandal hopping, not because my religion does not allow, which it does not allow but because I am a lazy fat arse who , if he had a chance, would spend the rest of his life working from home and even ordering the weekly shopping online but that is never gonna happen.
Since walking around in the heat of Calcutta for hours and then standing in a crowd to enter a pandal getting elbowed and pushed about and eating street food is off the list the other thing that is done by me during this one massive week away from college, yes 1 whole week, no college, this one week I spend time watching the massive functions that take place in my complex.
Now I don't know what are the days of the Puja called but for 5 days its all shows, shows and shows. Normally we have a Ghazal night, followed by a proper singer this year it was Indian Idol Abhijeet Sawant , then they have a in house talent show, a night of Antakshari and finally the Dandiya night, every day its a pain as the noise levels are actually deafening and its the one time of the year I am excused from not opening the main door as "I really could not hear the bell".
Now I don't really enjoy these functions but I have to show my face at em , its like those lame ass family meetings, you hate em, you wish you could avoid em but you just can't. This whole function on paper should suck lame ass, it really should but it doesn't and here is why:
1: The Puja is always inaugurated by some ex star, Yukta Mukheey[ ok she was not a star], this year its Mahima Chaudhury and all, this means crazy people taking photos like Angelina Jolie just gave birth to a multi colored set of octuplets , laughable as people push and pull to get one measly photo with a star who actually does have better things to do but money talks, always.
2: The singing bit by say Sawant, people again go bonkers trying to pose and get a photo with him, probably did not get so much adulation when he was in Indian Idol. Then there are the requests, people randomly ask the singer to sing some songs which he/she probably cannot and will not do but is forced to improvise as again money talks.
3: The dancing, even though these Puja days are dry days and you can't get alcohol, you do get the uncles absolutely smashed dancing randomly with everyone and everything, even all alone when and if needed, the best moves I have seen?
One had raised up, clockwise rotation of entire body , 2 rotations, other hand up, anti clockwise rotation twice , now repeat for 20 minutes, take a break and then start again.
4: The long long long lines for vegetarian food, which I will never understand. Its fucking grass and weed and people make these huge lines just to get a taste of the said food when I can have a ton of KFC and chicken at home and really bloody enjoy the texture, do not gimme that crap that soya meat has similar taste and texture as chicken. Chicken is like premium gelato while soya meat is like that cheap frozen lolly you get on the street for 5 bucks.
5: Lastly , the music on DJ night, which is the same for all the dandiya nights, the songs are all remixed versions of hindi hits and the DJ is technically a guy who can operate a laptop with fade in and fade out, plus he can pause the music and shout out
"Raise you hands" or "Make some noise" or "Where are the girls?" or "Its time to party"
Yes, that is what we call a DJ in India.
Every year I get served with the same thing and every year I enjoy it, somethings never change.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Color me embarrassed
More than a year has passed of my Masters in Calcutta , the pressure is surely on with a lot of projects and assignments thrown down our throats, the placement season is to begin which means that people are going crazy about getting a job in a company.
Our corporate relations cell has set up so many rules and regulations its unfair, you can't change your job once you get selected, you can't miss one interview or you are out of the placement drive and a host of other rules are there, plus we are made to sign this sheet containing the rules in like 5 minutes and all, its quite stressful, most of us knowing that we wont be getting a job that we will retire with, getting the job is the most important thing for us all.
Our cell also has this bloke who thinks he is the greatest person that ever lived, not Austin Aries , the greatest wrestler and anti hero I have ever seen, the guy brags that Calcutta is a dead place and we should move out, Calcutta has no night life, no social life and all. Valid points but the facht is , HE is working in Calcutta, Why? I have no idea but I sure as hell will ask him one day.
Recently the same guy with another person from the cell, came into our class, made us sit like we were on death row or something and started lecturing us as to how one of the biggest companies was to come, Asian Paints was the name of the company . truly a big company, biggest Indian paint company, third biggest in Asia and so on, the list continues, the person was whoring as to how hard it has been for him to get the company to come here and how we should be happy and try our best to impress the person who is to come and show him our caliber and acumen.
That last bit is the thing that wont be shown by any of our students, for all the good students with a high IQ and all, which unfortunately includes me but some of the students here really know how to take the mickey out of situations, hence there is often stupid name calling for the teachers, asking random stupid questions, walking out of class going to the toilet and of course the classic , clapping your ass off even after the sir/ madam has finished the lecture, this happened to one of our college trustees , the clapping went on and on and his "stock" in front of my eyes went down and down .
So the day comes and everyone , including yours truly, has gone through the website just to get an idea of what the company is and what are the business options and plans that they do. I reach college and I dread people making fun of me for going through their website and being the butt of all jokes, I find the geeks reading the entire stock market performance over the years, stock options and all of the company, suddenly I feel I am not the sad person after all, there was one bloke worse off than me , Barik wearing a suit, for some freaky reason he wears a suit to stand out from everyone , yes he may have a high IQ as well but man does he look like a freak wearing what he does.
Now the worst bit about these meetings with the "corporates" is the timing of it, after a tough day of class, at 5 PM is our scheduled meet, which means the thing wont start before 6 PM and I wont reach home before say 8:30, If I am lucky. This day was not my lucky day, I had a terrible cold, plus 2 classes, back to back of Consumer Behaviour, which is a real toil to be truthful, Sir does try to make the class interesting but 20 minutes into the class everyone loses their interest, so after 2 classes, and a lot of sneezing and coughing, I did infect around 10 people sitting near me , some of em got to miss class on Monday, so they should be happy, back to the day.
Class ends and I feel terrible absolutely sick but I decide to stay on as that whole CRP cell may go crazy on me, the college sir comes with a few CRP people and we wait for the Asian Paints guy , somewhat sure that some old person will come who has a lot of knowledge and experience in the field, we also had somehow in our heads got the jingle of Nerolac and were thinking its the Asian Paints jingle, taking that out took some real hard work.
At 5:15 , the gate opens and this guy walks in who , at the most, is older than us by 5 years at the max, he was the HR head of the Eastern region, shocker, what was to start was more loltastic, now everyone was in the mood to impress him so all they asked was what job offers do they have and what are the opportunities for growth in the organization, then comes the barrage of questions
Q: What type of people do you want in the organization? Would you take Engineers?
A: I am sorry but its a company policy that for sales reps we do not take then but they can always apply for R&D but thats a long shot as well
Q: I did my Internship in a sales profile and I achieved my target, I am a Btech, so......?
A: Sorry but company policy again.
Q: Suppose I do apply and I have a Btech, what could be my options?
You should be able to guess the answer as well, again another bit was that we would get a sales profile in an interior tier 2 city or something , which meant keeping relationships with our dealers, meaning drinking and smoking with em, he made sure that the chicks should not get their hopes high but again a chick asks
if she will be made to go to places she would not enjoy and again the HR defends saying that the company would not expect anyone to go anywhere they are not comfortable but what was he supposed to say?
"Yes we expect each and everyone of you to whore about in front of our dealers so that they are happy and you become the sad crummy people that you are in reality"
Most of the smart people did not ask any stupid questions, some smart people did actually ask proper questions like their selling methods and all but all in all those 75 minutes I will not get back in my life, that whole clapping bit did not happen, my nose was red like a christmas ornament, my head was spinning like a top , while I made my way back home, tired, sick and pissed, the journey took me 2 hours, I somehow managed to twist my ankle real bad on the road and when I thought I did heat up my food back home I didn't set the timer right and the food came out cold from the microwave, too tired to put it back in.
The whole day was just an embarrassment for all the students, am sure that the HR will not be coming back to our college to pick anyone up, well am sure he wont come back for the Btechs and they still will ask him , Why?
So much for being in a place with high acumen people.
Our corporate relations cell has set up so many rules and regulations its unfair, you can't change your job once you get selected, you can't miss one interview or you are out of the placement drive and a host of other rules are there, plus we are made to sign this sheet containing the rules in like 5 minutes and all, its quite stressful, most of us knowing that we wont be getting a job that we will retire with, getting the job is the most important thing for us all.
Our cell also has this bloke who thinks he is the greatest person that ever lived, not Austin Aries , the greatest wrestler and anti hero I have ever seen, the guy brags that Calcutta is a dead place and we should move out, Calcutta has no night life, no social life and all. Valid points but the facht is , HE is working in Calcutta, Why? I have no idea but I sure as hell will ask him one day.
Recently the same guy with another person from the cell, came into our class, made us sit like we were on death row or something and started lecturing us as to how one of the biggest companies was to come, Asian Paints was the name of the company . truly a big company, biggest Indian paint company, third biggest in Asia and so on, the list continues, the person was whoring as to how hard it has been for him to get the company to come here and how we should be happy and try our best to impress the person who is to come and show him our caliber and acumen.
That last bit is the thing that wont be shown by any of our students, for all the good students with a high IQ and all, which unfortunately includes me but some of the students here really know how to take the mickey out of situations, hence there is often stupid name calling for the teachers, asking random stupid questions, walking out of class going to the toilet and of course the classic , clapping your ass off even after the sir/ madam has finished the lecture, this happened to one of our college trustees , the clapping went on and on and his "stock" in front of my eyes went down and down .
So the day comes and everyone , including yours truly, has gone through the website just to get an idea of what the company is and what are the business options and plans that they do. I reach college and I dread people making fun of me for going through their website and being the butt of all jokes, I find the geeks reading the entire stock market performance over the years, stock options and all of the company, suddenly I feel I am not the sad person after all, there was one bloke worse off than me , Barik wearing a suit, for some freaky reason he wears a suit to stand out from everyone , yes he may have a high IQ as well but man does he look like a freak wearing what he does.
Now the worst bit about these meetings with the "corporates" is the timing of it, after a tough day of class, at 5 PM is our scheduled meet, which means the thing wont start before 6 PM and I wont reach home before say 8:30, If I am lucky. This day was not my lucky day, I had a terrible cold, plus 2 classes, back to back of Consumer Behaviour, which is a real toil to be truthful, Sir does try to make the class interesting but 20 minutes into the class everyone loses their interest, so after 2 classes, and a lot of sneezing and coughing, I did infect around 10 people sitting near me , some of em got to miss class on Monday, so they should be happy, back to the day.
Class ends and I feel terrible absolutely sick but I decide to stay on as that whole CRP cell may go crazy on me, the college sir comes with a few CRP people and we wait for the Asian Paints guy , somewhat sure that some old person will come who has a lot of knowledge and experience in the field, we also had somehow in our heads got the jingle of Nerolac and were thinking its the Asian Paints jingle, taking that out took some real hard work.
At 5:15 , the gate opens and this guy walks in who , at the most, is older than us by 5 years at the max, he was the HR head of the Eastern region, shocker, what was to start was more loltastic, now everyone was in the mood to impress him so all they asked was what job offers do they have and what are the opportunities for growth in the organization, then comes the barrage of questions
Q: What type of people do you want in the organization? Would you take Engineers?
A: I am sorry but its a company policy that for sales reps we do not take then but they can always apply for R&D but thats a long shot as well
Q: I did my Internship in a sales profile and I achieved my target, I am a Btech, so......?
A: Sorry but company policy again.
Q: Suppose I do apply and I have a Btech, what could be my options?
You should be able to guess the answer as well, again another bit was that we would get a sales profile in an interior tier 2 city or something , which meant keeping relationships with our dealers, meaning drinking and smoking with em, he made sure that the chicks should not get their hopes high but again a chick asks
if she will be made to go to places she would not enjoy and again the HR defends saying that the company would not expect anyone to go anywhere they are not comfortable but what was he supposed to say?
"Yes we expect each and everyone of you to whore about in front of our dealers so that they are happy and you become the sad crummy people that you are in reality"
Most of the smart people did not ask any stupid questions, some smart people did actually ask proper questions like their selling methods and all but all in all those 75 minutes I will not get back in my life, that whole clapping bit did not happen, my nose was red like a christmas ornament, my head was spinning like a top , while I made my way back home, tired, sick and pissed, the journey took me 2 hours, I somehow managed to twist my ankle real bad on the road and when I thought I did heat up my food back home I didn't set the timer right and the food came out cold from the microwave, too tired to put it back in.
The whole day was just an embarrassment for all the students, am sure that the HR will not be coming back to our college to pick anyone up, well am sure he wont come back for the Btechs and they still will ask him , Why?
So much for being in a place with high acumen people.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Raju
I have often said that I don't make things up, things actually happen to me. Meeting a colorful bunch of people is a part of everyone's life, me making some dull person's day colorful by suing my colorful language is a completely different story.
Speaking of meeting new people, I know it has been a year since I joined this prestigious management institute and yes I have made some amazing friends but in equal measure I have met some freaks and this person here takes the cake, bakery, eatery and any other food serving outlet there possibly is.
I don't exactly remember the first time I met him but I do remember alot of what he said and has done over this year, The first thing I remember about him is comparing me to the "experience" filled Bhati, who may be a good person at heart but man does he boast and boast huge, so Raju comes over to me and tells me
"Adeem, you and Bhati , pch, pch best students here and will get placed"
Now that would have been alright had that been the end of it but he went on and on like a broken record and hence I truncated his name from Rajdeep to Raju akin to the hit parody by Devang Patel where a ton of transvestites sing "Aye Raju", its on youtube so do check it out, most people would have been upset and would have abused me or something but Raju just grins like that cat from Alice in Wonderland, shrugs his shoulders like this is life and then when the joke hits him, the smile fades away and he becomes sad, like the faces a puppy or a kitten makes, its so sad yet so hilarious.
This other time a group from our corporate cell came up and asked as to who is the class representative, I did not want to be a part of it but Raju was sitting next to me and was trying to push my hand up when I told him to fuck off, again sad face, sad puppy dog face.
Then there are the bits when he tries to show his intellect like this one day we hid his lunch box and after a wash up he came up, frantically searched for it like he had lost a gold coin and then comes up to us and asks us
"Arrey did you see my tiffin box?"
I asked him "Kaunsa color?"
Now see , when it comes to describing an object its best to use terms and colors that people will understand easily and help you in finding the thing, the buggers box was purple in color, but he replies
"Magenta", WTF , why would you say and use such a color at all? Using "pink" would have been better in every case but he just would not budge and after finding his box he spent around 20 mins trying to prove his point that it was magenta and not pink or purple.
Then there are the bits when he wont write anything when the proffs are giving out lectures but as soon as they stop and we try to listen to them, he pops up and asks what we have written and not, everyone knows no one can read my writing but still he will try his level best to read it and then read it all wrong and ask me what I have written. Plus whenever the teacher speaks he will speak parallel with em, no matter how dangerous the teacher is or hot upset the teacher is and invariably he gets caught, gets scolded at and then sad face.
Of course its not that I let him get away easily, he gets constant abuses and I have these endless rants filled with expletives for him, he still takes it like a man and then sad face for a few minutes and then he is back sticking to me like some unwanted gum wrapper, don't get me wrong, he is not the worst person in college, not even close, its just that he is too needy it seems. He sits in the seat in front of mine , sometimes, and thats when the real party starts, I pull his ID tag, pull his shirt, kick his ass with my foot and of course scream out his name at the most inopportune times
Like when our Law sir was teaching us about Cyber Laws and how pornography and child pornography is to be dealt with
"I do not want to talk about the sick people who deal in child pornography, I know you people know who they are"
I scream out "RAAAAAAJJJJJJJJUUUUUU", the whole class laughs, even our Sir does, Raju , sad face, sad puppy face, I just could not resist this shot at him. The point is if you are to hang out with me, you are to get joked on and abused , all the time, and I expect the same from you towards me.
Then there was today, I just had to take a pot shot at him, what does he bring for lunch? Fucking Soy Nuggets, I hate Soya nuggets and even more because people come up with that shite that it has the same texture to chicken and all, it can never be close to chicken so fuck off to all those veges loving soya bean chunks and all, back to the point when some of my mates come and ask what does raju have for lunch.
I tell em "Suorer bacha" as in the kid of a pig, everyone is staring at me like I have said something wrong, I clarify
"Arrey what? How can I say piglet in bengali?" then comes the laughter and again as usual Raju, sad face.
Of course all this constant leg pulling is for a cause, as I told Raju one day
"Dude, I a m preparing you for life, you think I am bullying and abusing you? [with a wry smile on my face]"
raju sad, doesn't know what to say, I continue "Dude, when you go to office they will fucking rape you, I kid you not, They will RAPE you, mark my words, this is a learning in life for you and you will thank me for it later"
Raju, sad, upset, walks away, Bonbon, Happy he got to abuse someone and made that person grow in character, one abuse at a time.
Speaking of meeting new people, I know it has been a year since I joined this prestigious management institute and yes I have made some amazing friends but in equal measure I have met some freaks and this person here takes the cake, bakery, eatery and any other food serving outlet there possibly is.
I don't exactly remember the first time I met him but I do remember alot of what he said and has done over this year, The first thing I remember about him is comparing me to the "experience" filled Bhati, who may be a good person at heart but man does he boast and boast huge, so Raju comes over to me and tells me
"Adeem, you and Bhati , pch, pch best students here and will get placed"
Now that would have been alright had that been the end of it but he went on and on like a broken record and hence I truncated his name from Rajdeep to Raju akin to the hit parody by Devang Patel where a ton of transvestites sing "Aye Raju", its on youtube so do check it out, most people would have been upset and would have abused me or something but Raju just grins like that cat from Alice in Wonderland, shrugs his shoulders like this is life and then when the joke hits him, the smile fades away and he becomes sad, like the faces a puppy or a kitten makes, its so sad yet so hilarious.
This other time a group from our corporate cell came up and asked as to who is the class representative, I did not want to be a part of it but Raju was sitting next to me and was trying to push my hand up when I told him to fuck off, again sad face, sad puppy dog face.
Then there are the bits when he tries to show his intellect like this one day we hid his lunch box and after a wash up he came up, frantically searched for it like he had lost a gold coin and then comes up to us and asks us
"Arrey did you see my tiffin box?"
I asked him "Kaunsa color?"
Now see , when it comes to describing an object its best to use terms and colors that people will understand easily and help you in finding the thing, the buggers box was purple in color, but he replies
"Magenta", WTF , why would you say and use such a color at all? Using "pink" would have been better in every case but he just would not budge and after finding his box he spent around 20 mins trying to prove his point that it was magenta and not pink or purple.
Then there are the bits when he wont write anything when the proffs are giving out lectures but as soon as they stop and we try to listen to them, he pops up and asks what we have written and not, everyone knows no one can read my writing but still he will try his level best to read it and then read it all wrong and ask me what I have written. Plus whenever the teacher speaks he will speak parallel with em, no matter how dangerous the teacher is or hot upset the teacher is and invariably he gets caught, gets scolded at and then sad face.
Of course its not that I let him get away easily, he gets constant abuses and I have these endless rants filled with expletives for him, he still takes it like a man and then sad face for a few minutes and then he is back sticking to me like some unwanted gum wrapper, don't get me wrong, he is not the worst person in college, not even close, its just that he is too needy it seems. He sits in the seat in front of mine , sometimes, and thats when the real party starts, I pull his ID tag, pull his shirt, kick his ass with my foot and of course scream out his name at the most inopportune times
Like when our Law sir was teaching us about Cyber Laws and how pornography and child pornography is to be dealt with
"I do not want to talk about the sick people who deal in child pornography, I know you people know who they are"
I scream out "RAAAAAAJJJJJJJJUUUUUU", the whole class laughs, even our Sir does, Raju , sad face, sad puppy face, I just could not resist this shot at him. The point is if you are to hang out with me, you are to get joked on and abused , all the time, and I expect the same from you towards me.
Then there was today, I just had to take a pot shot at him, what does he bring for lunch? Fucking Soy Nuggets, I hate Soya nuggets and even more because people come up with that shite that it has the same texture to chicken and all, it can never be close to chicken so fuck off to all those veges loving soya bean chunks and all, back to the point when some of my mates come and ask what does raju have for lunch.
I tell em "Suorer bacha" as in the kid of a pig, everyone is staring at me like I have said something wrong, I clarify
"Arrey what? How can I say piglet in bengali?" then comes the laughter and again as usual Raju, sad face.
Of course all this constant leg pulling is for a cause, as I told Raju one day
"Dude, I a m preparing you for life, you think I am bullying and abusing you? [with a wry smile on my face]"
raju sad, doesn't know what to say, I continue "Dude, when you go to office they will fucking rape you, I kid you not, They will RAPE you, mark my words, this is a learning in life for you and you will thank me for it later"
Raju, sad, upset, walks away, Bonbon, Happy he got to abuse someone and made that person grow in character, one abuse at a time.
Monday, September 5, 2011
COO
Being forced to take part in a competition is part and parcel of my life, while I just want to whittle away and take part in things I like, like the recent first football podcast of Jeremy 360 , I end up having to take part in talent competitions , music shows and elocution's, winning a few, making an ass out of myself in a few and being a retard in all of them.
So this time around in a corporate B school, I unfortunately or fortunately have pretty good communication skills and since most people don't pay attention in class and I do, I get a pretty good score as well, this means I am cannon fodder for most people to send me to competitions. I have been able to bunk a few of em using the "muslim", "fast" excuses but once in a while you do fall into the trap and that is what exactly happened a week back.
One of our teachers was hell bent on sending us to some competition held by AIMA, the All India Management Association , some special business game "Chanakya", which was basically working against a number of other colleges in a proper simulated marked trying to sell certain goods, yes it was fun but not that I would want to be in such a thing again.
The whole shebang started with ma'am picking me and another guy, sudip, out just because we could go there, although there were a ton of other people who could have gone to the competition as they had business experience and knowledge, they were not trust worthy and we exemplified the 3 D's of our college, not the Dudley boys but "Discipline, Decorum and Decency", don't know how but I fail in all those 3 terms.
Now we needed 2 more murgas, umm members to be part of the team, while I dragged a couple of finance people wasim and soma, wasim backed out stating the "fast" and ramadan month being on and him fasting, he would not be able to go there, I could not use that excuse since I was not fasting and had been seen in the cafeteria everyday stuffing my mouth with chicken sandwiches, crap.
So we substituted wasim with a manc, Mriganka, the only thing I got that evening were calls from all 3 saying none of em wanted to go and when ma'am heard that it was fucking tough to convince em all to go along for the ride. Ultimately we came up with a plan that, whatever happens we will fail intentionally and come back.
The next morning the reporting time for our competition was 8:30 AM, while the other 3 moaned about the time, I took a cab and reached early to another college EIILM and was I in for a shock, am sorry but my college's infrastructure owns that of most colleges in Calcutta, its classy, its fucking ace ,its beautiful and its clean. Eiilm was sad to go to, the chairs were crappy, the interiors were crappy, hell the fucking floor was bumpy , not a good start.
8:30, a few people from AIMA came in and asked us to fill in forms, when I picked the form for us, we were supposed to fill in what position each person was to take, the first thing to do was to find out if all of the people were coming or not, getting the confirmation for that was a huge relief as I did not want to be the murga in all this, I picked on being the COO, chief operations officer, thinking I would have to do nothing but sit on my ass.
The other 3 members came and we went off for breakfast, which was vege sandwiches and tea, 2 things I despise , coming back into the room we were given a 10 page case to study the market conditions and the portfolio for the organization we were to work in, the beverage industry as it were, I was not reading the case but as usual was blabbering and abusing left right and center, to which a girl objected but I couldn't care less. The AIMA people were quite happy seeing Globsyn being represented by 4 chamans, probably because we were the first batch to come here and oh yeah from the 16 teams participating, 8 were from EIILM , each had to pay around 5k to take part, which we did pay later to make sure we get the certificate.
So after another 2 hours of deliberating about the rules and regulations, we got a chance to try our luck in a trail quarter to decide how much should our production be, what should be the placement of the product, price etc, we took it easy and just slotted in random numbers from our heads, while people were furiously working on laptops and trying to get in numbers, after the trail round, we were in the 4th position in our group where the top 4 would qualify, Sudip loves this bit and says we will qualify from this group and I am thinking "Oh fuck no, I can't take this crap".
Now the girl we had in our group was decent to look at but she was miles better than the utter tosh we had to see in that college and hence she was looked at by the rest of the people ala the indian voyeur, constantly gazing like she was some European Blonde with a figure of 36-24-36, she does not have that for a figure but still.
The only good thing in this whole piss poor show was the food and I stuffed myself with a lot of chicken as usual and for some reason a lot of papads, like fucking mad I had papads, hell I even nicked em off the plates of my team mates, I was on fucking mad papad eating mode. No sweets or chutney for me please, just gimme the papads please.
Back to the competition, now we got all serious for quarter 1, the real deal was about to start everyone was so up for it and then after the 1st quarter we were still 4th, brilliant, we would qualify and all, shit I would have to come back another day to take part in it. Fate however is an amazing mistress, we fucked up on the planning bit, who is responsible for the planning? That's right , me, while we didn't increase our capacity for production, everyone else did and that brought us down from 4th to 7th in the next quarter, bummed we were and now we took an oath to work harder and moved up we did by the 4th quarter to the 5th position.
Thinking our day is over , I was waiting for the certificates and all but the AIMA people came in and told us we have to play 2 more quarters the next day and then the top 8 would be selected, 4 from each group and then they would have to play another day, fuck it.
The next day , I was the same old pessimistic retard, constantly telling my team mates not to play the game seriously or we would get fucked and that is what exactly was happening, seriousness does not work well with the Bonbon, every time they asked me what position would we come, my reply was 5th, 7th and 5th, I was right twice out of those 3 times. The most important event of the day was Sudip getting a call from KBC to be part of the hot seat and all, while he got the first 2 questions right, the third one stumped him and phussss went his KBC dream.
When the competition ended we were happy just to get the hell out of there and get our participation certificates and of course the food was fantastic, while the other people were getting the prizes for coming into the top 4 per group, we , well I was busy clapping my ass off showing my enthusiasm for no reason at all, content at being the retard of the competition I head back home, head held high, happy at unintentionally ruining my team's chances of doing well, constantly distracting them with my obnoxious laughter and being a total dick.
I tell you this much, even though your company may not do well, you need characters like me just to keep the train chugging along, actually the placement season is about to begin and I need to show any negative aspects as positives so that people do make the mistake of taking me in,jeet ke aaoge? Giggity!.
So this time around in a corporate B school, I unfortunately or fortunately have pretty good communication skills and since most people don't pay attention in class and I do, I get a pretty good score as well, this means I am cannon fodder for most people to send me to competitions. I have been able to bunk a few of em using the "muslim", "fast" excuses but once in a while you do fall into the trap and that is what exactly happened a week back.
One of our teachers was hell bent on sending us to some competition held by AIMA, the All India Management Association , some special business game "Chanakya", which was basically working against a number of other colleges in a proper simulated marked trying to sell certain goods, yes it was fun but not that I would want to be in such a thing again.
The whole shebang started with ma'am picking me and another guy, sudip, out just because we could go there, although there were a ton of other people who could have gone to the competition as they had business experience and knowledge, they were not trust worthy and we exemplified the 3 D's of our college, not the Dudley boys but "Discipline, Decorum and Decency", don't know how but I fail in all those 3 terms.
Now we needed 2 more murgas, umm members to be part of the team, while I dragged a couple of finance people wasim and soma, wasim backed out stating the "fast" and ramadan month being on and him fasting, he would not be able to go there, I could not use that excuse since I was not fasting and had been seen in the cafeteria everyday stuffing my mouth with chicken sandwiches, crap.
So we substituted wasim with a manc, Mriganka, the only thing I got that evening were calls from all 3 saying none of em wanted to go and when ma'am heard that it was fucking tough to convince em all to go along for the ride. Ultimately we came up with a plan that, whatever happens we will fail intentionally and come back.
The next morning the reporting time for our competition was 8:30 AM, while the other 3 moaned about the time, I took a cab and reached early to another college EIILM and was I in for a shock, am sorry but my college's infrastructure owns that of most colleges in Calcutta, its classy, its fucking ace ,its beautiful and its clean. Eiilm was sad to go to, the chairs were crappy, the interiors were crappy, hell the fucking floor was bumpy , not a good start.
8:30, a few people from AIMA came in and asked us to fill in forms, when I picked the form for us, we were supposed to fill in what position each person was to take, the first thing to do was to find out if all of the people were coming or not, getting the confirmation for that was a huge relief as I did not want to be the murga in all this, I picked on being the COO, chief operations officer, thinking I would have to do nothing but sit on my ass.
The other 3 members came and we went off for breakfast, which was vege sandwiches and tea, 2 things I despise , coming back into the room we were given a 10 page case to study the market conditions and the portfolio for the organization we were to work in, the beverage industry as it were, I was not reading the case but as usual was blabbering and abusing left right and center, to which a girl objected but I couldn't care less. The AIMA people were quite happy seeing Globsyn being represented by 4 chamans, probably because we were the first batch to come here and oh yeah from the 16 teams participating, 8 were from EIILM , each had to pay around 5k to take part, which we did pay later to make sure we get the certificate.
So after another 2 hours of deliberating about the rules and regulations, we got a chance to try our luck in a trail quarter to decide how much should our production be, what should be the placement of the product, price etc, we took it easy and just slotted in random numbers from our heads, while people were furiously working on laptops and trying to get in numbers, after the trail round, we were in the 4th position in our group where the top 4 would qualify, Sudip loves this bit and says we will qualify from this group and I am thinking "Oh fuck no, I can't take this crap".
Now the girl we had in our group was decent to look at but she was miles better than the utter tosh we had to see in that college and hence she was looked at by the rest of the people ala the indian voyeur, constantly gazing like she was some European Blonde with a figure of 36-24-36, she does not have that for a figure but still.
The only good thing in this whole piss poor show was the food and I stuffed myself with a lot of chicken as usual and for some reason a lot of papads, like fucking mad I had papads, hell I even nicked em off the plates of my team mates, I was on fucking mad papad eating mode. No sweets or chutney for me please, just gimme the papads please.
Back to the competition, now we got all serious for quarter 1, the real deal was about to start everyone was so up for it and then after the 1st quarter we were still 4th, brilliant, we would qualify and all, shit I would have to come back another day to take part in it. Fate however is an amazing mistress, we fucked up on the planning bit, who is responsible for the planning? That's right , me, while we didn't increase our capacity for production, everyone else did and that brought us down from 4th to 7th in the next quarter, bummed we were and now we took an oath to work harder and moved up we did by the 4th quarter to the 5th position.
Thinking our day is over , I was waiting for the certificates and all but the AIMA people came in and told us we have to play 2 more quarters the next day and then the top 8 would be selected, 4 from each group and then they would have to play another day, fuck it.
The next day , I was the same old pessimistic retard, constantly telling my team mates not to play the game seriously or we would get fucked and that is what exactly was happening, seriousness does not work well with the Bonbon, every time they asked me what position would we come, my reply was 5th, 7th and 5th, I was right twice out of those 3 times. The most important event of the day was Sudip getting a call from KBC to be part of the hot seat and all, while he got the first 2 questions right, the third one stumped him and phussss went his KBC dream.
When the competition ended we were happy just to get the hell out of there and get our participation certificates and of course the food was fantastic, while the other people were getting the prizes for coming into the top 4 per group, we , well I was busy clapping my ass off showing my enthusiasm for no reason at all, content at being the retard of the competition I head back home, head held high, happy at unintentionally ruining my team's chances of doing well, constantly distracting them with my obnoxious laughter and being a total dick.
I tell you this much, even though your company may not do well, you need characters like me just to keep the train chugging along, actually the placement season is about to begin and I need to show any negative aspects as positives so that people do make the mistake of taking me in,jeet ke aaoge? Giggity!.
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