I know its been quite a while since i last posted something ,i only post when i do have time or i have a kickass REAL LIFE story to tell or when i am really and i mean REALLY pissed about something,and something just pissed me off massively,its not that i dont get pissed,i get pissed off quite easily but the incident that got my goat was new years Eve
31st Dec 2010
Normally my parents and I go out for a drive at the stroke of midnight to park street,the only street in Calcutta having both KFC and Mcdonalds ,and a ton of other restaurants.
I understand its the new year and all but what is there to celebrate?
We reached the place at 11:50 and there were like a gazillion people out on the street doing nothing but screaming and shouting for the new year,as the bongs and well rest of indians say
"Heppy Noo Yaaar"
Literally thousands of mindless freaks on the streets screaming and shouting and dancing and hugging each other like they are the best of pals,if only this sort of love could be seen on the streets everyday when people are out to run over each other or are abusing the life out of someone,the same people have no compassion what so ever from Jan 2nd onwards.
This whole new year celebration is just another way to milk more money out of the normal people,going to clubs and parties to celebrate what?
More deaths,pathetic governance,violence,corruption,the poor thats what each year is about,people forget all this so easily to celebrate another crummy year which holds more of the same for almost each of us.
I dont celebrate new years any more,but certain memories will stay about this one year:
This is what i remembered about 2010
Spain winning the WC
The huge BP oil spill
Togo bus getting attacked by militants during the African Cup of Nations
Paul the octopus
Rafa getting the boot[twice in one year]
Constant and rampant corruption in our country and outside it as well
Finding some kickass online and college pals
The ass of a travel agent we had
Creating "history" in college
Getting my Babe back :D
Becoming a Graduate
And oh yeah as far as new year's resolutions go,there is no point manking any of them because half of em cannot be remembered by the start of March and more importantly no one gives a shit to completing em
so there is just one resolution for one and all,live by it 24 hours a day,7 days a week,365 days in a year,EVERY FRIGGIN YEAR
"JEET KE AAOGE!"
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Punked Punked and oh yeah PUNKED!
Us friends have created a sorta ritual,whenever chintoo lee is in town ,we guys have a good old night out,no different this time,we go to park street in the evening,have dinner some where and then go to Someplace Else to catch the band that is playing ,its always Hip Pocket as its Nagu's sir's band and they more or less are always spot on with their music and song list.
This year also we decided to do the same,this time we werent with babla or manko ,it was sumitano,nagu ,chintoo and me,this time we went to park street as usual and we decided to do something different from usual,rather than going to some chinky place ,nagu suggested we go to Mocambo,continental cuisine,we reached music world at 7 and Nagu went and wrote our name down in the register,they told us to come back in around an hour
At 8 we went to Mocambo and the bloke said ,another few minutes,those "few" minutes was like an hour,families were going in one by one but us 4 guys were out just because we werent "family" we had to wait,i can easily say my friends are fucking better family than most relatives i have,although the time did fly by coz all of us had some thing to share which was crazy and funny,i find it odd that non family groups,rather groups without females were made to wait for so long and all,anyways,we entered,got seated and started reading the menu.
Most of us were there to eat the Beef steak,probably the best in town,while chintoo decided to take the lasagna ,nagu wanted some appetizer ,so while i was on the phone and nagu was distracted,chintoo ordered a prawn and crab cocktail,we were hoping that we would have to dip the sea food in some sauce,but a few minutes later we got......
Two bowls with white liquid,now we are confused,what is this,so we dig in and taste it,wtf its mayonnaise ?....we paid 200 bucks for mayonnaise,we dig deeper and we find its with prawns and crab meat,and we gobble it down and then later when we reach the bottom off the bowls we get a nasty after taste,like way bitter,then we realize,we had to mix the bowl well as Vodka was at the base,fucking hell there goes my plan of not having a sip of alcohol for the rest of my life,damn fucking asshole Chintoo just bought me a direct ticket to hell for Betray of Religion,i was going there any way but still,i wanted to go there in my own terms....
Thats the first punked
The 2nd one starts now
We go to Someplace Else where Hip Pocket were to play and we see that they have a new keyboardist and a guitarist as well,a young kid was on the guitar,young compared to the other members of the band,so the gig starts and they start off with some slow easy numbers nothing with The Doors or Pink floyd,the typical Hip Pocket list was not there,boring song list,people getting disinterested and the songs sounded way off,i mean i know i aint a genius in music or that i have heard all the songs before but every song sounded way way wrong ,and after around 5 songs we left in a hurry,really pissed about the music.
Punked twice
Now we decide to have some ice cream so we go to the nearby Swirls outlet and i as usual decide to have a thunderstorm swirls,my 3rd one in 3 days and 4th one in the last 7 days :D,nagu has the new cookie and cream swirls and sumitano and chintoo have some cone dipped in chocolate with vanilla soft ice cream,the damn bastards at the outlet made such pathetic soft creams,bloody it was runny like my nose when i have a bad cold,and fucking hell they even gave very little chocolate chips and nuts in the swirl itself
Thrice.
However one good news did come out from the day about Liverpool FC,and chintoo did get a brand new set of headphones,so alls well that ends well i guess,but man that cocktail shit was pathetic from our side.
This year also we decided to do the same,this time we werent with babla or manko ,it was sumitano,nagu ,chintoo and me,this time we went to park street as usual and we decided to do something different from usual,rather than going to some chinky place ,nagu suggested we go to Mocambo,continental cuisine,we reached music world at 7 and Nagu went and wrote our name down in the register,they told us to come back in around an hour
At 8 we went to Mocambo and the bloke said ,another few minutes,those "few" minutes was like an hour,families were going in one by one but us 4 guys were out just because we werent "family" we had to wait,i can easily say my friends are fucking better family than most relatives i have,although the time did fly by coz all of us had some thing to share which was crazy and funny,i find it odd that non family groups,rather groups without females were made to wait for so long and all,anyways,we entered,got seated and started reading the menu.
Most of us were there to eat the Beef steak,probably the best in town,while chintoo decided to take the lasagna ,nagu wanted some appetizer ,so while i was on the phone and nagu was distracted,chintoo ordered a prawn and crab cocktail,we were hoping that we would have to dip the sea food in some sauce,but a few minutes later we got......
Two bowls with white liquid,now we are confused,what is this,so we dig in and taste it,wtf its mayonnaise ?....we paid 200 bucks for mayonnaise,we dig deeper and we find its with prawns and crab meat,and we gobble it down and then later when we reach the bottom off the bowls we get a nasty after taste,like way bitter,then we realize,we had to mix the bowl well as Vodka was at the base,fucking hell there goes my plan of not having a sip of alcohol for the rest of my life,damn fucking asshole Chintoo just bought me a direct ticket to hell for Betray of Religion,i was going there any way but still,i wanted to go there in my own terms....
Thats the first punked
The 2nd one starts now
We go to Someplace Else where Hip Pocket were to play and we see that they have a new keyboardist and a guitarist as well,a young kid was on the guitar,young compared to the other members of the band,so the gig starts and they start off with some slow easy numbers nothing with The Doors or Pink floyd,the typical Hip Pocket list was not there,boring song list,people getting disinterested and the songs sounded way off,i mean i know i aint a genius in music or that i have heard all the songs before but every song sounded way way wrong ,and after around 5 songs we left in a hurry,really pissed about the music.
Punked twice
Now we decide to have some ice cream so we go to the nearby Swirls outlet and i as usual decide to have a thunderstorm swirls,my 3rd one in 3 days and 4th one in the last 7 days :D,nagu has the new cookie and cream swirls and sumitano and chintoo have some cone dipped in chocolate with vanilla soft ice cream,the damn bastards at the outlet made such pathetic soft creams,bloody it was runny like my nose when i have a bad cold,and fucking hell they even gave very little chocolate chips and nuts in the swirl itself
Thrice.
However one good news did come out from the day about Liverpool FC,and chintoo did get a brand new set of headphones,so alls well that ends well i guess,but man that cocktail shit was pathetic from our side.
Kaju
Normally i dont go pandal hopping during em puja's,i am way too lazy for that,but this year was a completely different story.
My best friend Rohit "chintoo" Sarkar comes to town only once a year as now he studies his ass off in Suratkal and he barely gets holidays ,so every year during the puja's he bunks one week and then we [as in the group] meet up,plus to add to the occasion ,i barely get any holidays from my new B college and this one week in 2010 was the only time i was gonna meet Chintoo.
So off we went for a bit of pandal hopping,ahh the sweaty people all around,the children running and bumping into people,the loud noise,what a perfect advertisement for the city of calcutta,so its around 11 when i meet chintoo,nagu and sumit,who shall now be referred to as sumitano from now on.
We travel to quite a few pandals in kidderpore and of course one of the best themed pandals was in badamtala,but this blog isnt about the pandals,oh no,its more about the "kaju" experience.
So lets get the situation in place,nagu is hungry and before we can have lunch we decide to have a snack so off we go to KC Das ,near South city and we are at the counter but we arent getting any service whatsoever ,we tell nagu to tell the old bloke at the counter about our order but he just refuses to listen to nagu
so i tell him
"Nagu,show him some cleavage"
he didnt and after another 10 minutes of waiting and no service we leave in a huff,still in hunger mode though
so after a few more pandals we go to a roadside sweet shop,where nagu asks for a couple of laddoos,now the laddoos had like a kaju split in half on the top,and nagu gets both the laddoos on one of em paper plates,the ones where they put the water for the puchkas.
So sumit or nagu had one of the half kaju's and chintoo was trying to half the other,me on the other hand wanted the kaju as well so as soon as chintoo tried to lift the kaju from the laddoo i screamed
"KAAAAAAJJJJJJJJJJUUUUUUUUU"
and tried to grab it,but..........
Chintoo didnt expect a scream,up went his hand and one laddoo in the air,now nagu has one laddoo in the plate but he wants to try and save the other laddoo so he tries to save that,when his hand hits mine and now the second laddoo is in the air and the three of us are trying to save the laddoos,rohit almost had it,so did i and nagu was the same slow dim witted freak that he is,but alas both the laddoos were on the ground and the shop owner was bloody angry at us,so we ran away from the place with screams of laughter at the "kaju" problem
Next we went to another place and nagu wants to have em radha balavis and asks the owner,if there were any kajus in em and of course he kept the plate away from me.
My best friend Rohit "chintoo" Sarkar comes to town only once a year as now he studies his ass off in Suratkal and he barely gets holidays ,so every year during the puja's he bunks one week and then we [as in the group] meet up,plus to add to the occasion ,i barely get any holidays from my new B college and this one week in 2010 was the only time i was gonna meet Chintoo.
So off we went for a bit of pandal hopping,ahh the sweaty people all around,the children running and bumping into people,the loud noise,what a perfect advertisement for the city of calcutta,so its around 11 when i meet chintoo,nagu and sumit,who shall now be referred to as sumitano from now on.
We travel to quite a few pandals in kidderpore and of course one of the best themed pandals was in badamtala,but this blog isnt about the pandals,oh no,its more about the "kaju" experience.
So lets get the situation in place,nagu is hungry and before we can have lunch we decide to have a snack so off we go to KC Das ,near South city and we are at the counter but we arent getting any service whatsoever ,we tell nagu to tell the old bloke at the counter about our order but he just refuses to listen to nagu
so i tell him
"Nagu,show him some cleavage"
he didnt and after another 10 minutes of waiting and no service we leave in a huff,still in hunger mode though
so after a few more pandals we go to a roadside sweet shop,where nagu asks for a couple of laddoos,now the laddoos had like a kaju split in half on the top,and nagu gets both the laddoos on one of em paper plates,the ones where they put the water for the puchkas.
So sumit or nagu had one of the half kaju's and chintoo was trying to half the other,me on the other hand wanted the kaju as well so as soon as chintoo tried to lift the kaju from the laddoo i screamed
"KAAAAAAJJJJJJJJJJUUUUUUUUU"
and tried to grab it,but..........
Chintoo didnt expect a scream,up went his hand and one laddoo in the air,now nagu has one laddoo in the plate but he wants to try and save the other laddoo so he tries to save that,when his hand hits mine and now the second laddoo is in the air and the three of us are trying to save the laddoos,rohit almost had it,so did i and nagu was the same slow dim witted freak that he is,but alas both the laddoos were on the ground and the shop owner was bloody angry at us,so we ran away from the place with screams of laughter at the "kaju" problem
Next we went to another place and nagu wants to have em radha balavis and asks the owner,if there were any kajus in em and of course he kept the plate away from me.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Ghajini
Dont react,this isnt a review/preview/article about the movie Ghajini,i dont have time to watch em stupid hindi flicks,exceptions are always there.
This blog post is about one of the many teachers we have at Globsyn,you know my new B school[ooooooo aaaaaah],now Ghajini ,our Stats prof,has short hair like Aamir khan in the movie Ghajini,speaks in an accent with is both british as well as american and is short like Aamir Khan,not only that but he instills fear in us,he probably is the only person we students are scared off and the only teacher who actually gets respect because of the greatest emotion in the world,not love you fucktard hippies,but fear.
The first class we had with the Prof,he came in,told us to sit in groups and that we had to make a 10 minute presentation on a topic that he would give,since it was our 2nd week in college and we barely knew one another,as usual with us indians,panic and pandemonium got us,everyone is freaking losing their hair,sweating etc,while the guy is seated behind with another teacher,just enjoying the carnage that is set infront of him,sadist.
Not only that he was marking us for the term already in our first class and was cutting marks off if anyone from the group was talking,or when someone had a laptop on while a group was giving the presentation,he confiscated it,thats not the worst bit,he holds the laptop by the screen and chucks em one on top of the other.
Oh and he was also making snide remarks at the groups making presentations
"Look look,that guy is acting like he is an Emcee ,hahahahahahaha"
Sick.
Another day ,during some other sir's class he pops in and tells us to make a 30 minute presentation on Mean,Median,Mode,30 minutes?
damn we havent made a presentation for like 5 minutes,nevertheless he did ask one chick to give the presentation,that said chick was sitting behind me,when he pointed her out,i got goosebumps thinking he picked me up,but that wasnt a relief of any sorts as we shall see.
2 weeks ago the same guy came in and asked us to make a presentation on regression analysis and the like,so again off all of us got tense,the first thing i did when i got home was open my Stats for Managers book and open the regression chapter.
Fucking hell i couldnt understand one bit,barring the basic regression equation,i didnt even make a presentation for it,rather was calling me pals up if they understood what the hell the rest of the chapter is about,after all Ghajini asked us to make a 15 minute presentation for it,somehow i wrote some stuff in a book ,i took some pills as i wasnt well and went off to bed at midnite.
Next morning doom and gloom is the word i would use,now i should have learnt that it always rains when i dont want it to,similarly this one day i did not carry an umbrella with me and i was standing in a queue for the bus,not only was the fucking bus late by 20 minutes,i got completely drenched,plus i already had a temperature and a cold,perfect way to start the day,and its only 8 AM
The bus ride is an hour long and i got pelvic thrusts from wet men,fuck it,my shirt wasnt drying any soon,i my hair was a complete wet mess,rather than being a complete mess that it usually is,i reach college,sit down for a few minutes and anxiously chat with me pals about the chapter.
Barely did i sit down ,the Ghajini walks in as it was 9:45,schedule class time,i sit,am nervous,am wet,am cold,AC is on,and Ghajini says
"I hope you all have come prepared with your presentations,be it a PPT or you can use the board.....Any volunteers?"
No one raises their hand for this bit,its like asking someone to confess for murder ,so he goes
"Fine ,i will pick someone,YOU"
Fuck it,its me,i look behind me hoping he picked someone else,but damn it its me.
I get up as a nervous wreck but by the grace of God i Jeet ke Aagaye in the presentation bit,Ghajini himself said
"A brilliant job,i think he deserves a round of applause",of course in between the presentation i had to answer some questions and as usual a certain Bhati had some questions rather experiences and "something more to add",but leaving that aside it was a pretty nerve racking experience.
Now that i have survived the Ghajini,my fear of presentations are over and for some stupid reason everyone believes i am the best student for stats or as the college calls the subject "Quantitative Methods",i dont care about all that.
All i care about is that i Jeet Ke Aagaye!
This blog post is about one of the many teachers we have at Globsyn,you know my new B school[ooooooo aaaaaah],now Ghajini ,our Stats prof,has short hair like Aamir khan in the movie Ghajini,speaks in an accent with is both british as well as american and is short like Aamir Khan,not only that but he instills fear in us,he probably is the only person we students are scared off and the only teacher who actually gets respect because of the greatest emotion in the world,not love you fucktard hippies,but fear.
The first class we had with the Prof,he came in,told us to sit in groups and that we had to make a 10 minute presentation on a topic that he would give,since it was our 2nd week in college and we barely knew one another,as usual with us indians,panic and pandemonium got us,everyone is freaking losing their hair,sweating etc,while the guy is seated behind with another teacher,just enjoying the carnage that is set infront of him,sadist.
Not only that he was marking us for the term already in our first class and was cutting marks off if anyone from the group was talking,or when someone had a laptop on while a group was giving the presentation,he confiscated it,thats not the worst bit,he holds the laptop by the screen and chucks em one on top of the other.
Oh and he was also making snide remarks at the groups making presentations
"Look look,that guy is acting like he is an Emcee ,hahahahahahaha"
Sick.
Another day ,during some other sir's class he pops in and tells us to make a 30 minute presentation on Mean,Median,Mode,30 minutes?
damn we havent made a presentation for like 5 minutes,nevertheless he did ask one chick to give the presentation,that said chick was sitting behind me,when he pointed her out,i got goosebumps thinking he picked me up,but that wasnt a relief of any sorts as we shall see.
2 weeks ago the same guy came in and asked us to make a presentation on regression analysis and the like,so again off all of us got tense,the first thing i did when i got home was open my Stats for Managers book and open the regression chapter.
Fucking hell i couldnt understand one bit,barring the basic regression equation,i didnt even make a presentation for it,rather was calling me pals up if they understood what the hell the rest of the chapter is about,after all Ghajini asked us to make a 15 minute presentation for it,somehow i wrote some stuff in a book ,i took some pills as i wasnt well and went off to bed at midnite.
Next morning doom and gloom is the word i would use,now i should have learnt that it always rains when i dont want it to,similarly this one day i did not carry an umbrella with me and i was standing in a queue for the bus,not only was the fucking bus late by 20 minutes,i got completely drenched,plus i already had a temperature and a cold,perfect way to start the day,and its only 8 AM
The bus ride is an hour long and i got pelvic thrusts from wet men,fuck it,my shirt wasnt drying any soon,i my hair was a complete wet mess,rather than being a complete mess that it usually is,i reach college,sit down for a few minutes and anxiously chat with me pals about the chapter.
Barely did i sit down ,the Ghajini walks in as it was 9:45,schedule class time,i sit,am nervous,am wet,am cold,AC is on,and Ghajini says
"I hope you all have come prepared with your presentations,be it a PPT or you can use the board.....Any volunteers?"
No one raises their hand for this bit,its like asking someone to confess for murder ,so he goes
"Fine ,i will pick someone,YOU"
Fuck it,its me,i look behind me hoping he picked someone else,but damn it its me.
I get up as a nervous wreck but by the grace of God i Jeet ke Aagaye in the presentation bit,Ghajini himself said
"A brilliant job,i think he deserves a round of applause",of course in between the presentation i had to answer some questions and as usual a certain Bhati had some questions rather experiences and "something more to add",but leaving that aside it was a pretty nerve racking experience.
Now that i have survived the Ghajini,my fear of presentations are over and for some stupid reason everyone believes i am the best student for stats or as the college calls the subject "Quantitative Methods",i dont care about all that.
All i care about is that i Jeet Ke Aagaye!
Saturday, August 14, 2010
The start of something new,again....
Again i know i havent updated my blog in a freaking long time,but this time its not my laziness which comes into question,oh no people its far from it,this time i didnt actualy have the time ,believe that people ,i ,me ,Adeem Karim the one person in the world who would sleep 13 hours a day did not have the time to update a blog.
Its not that i didnt have a lot to write about ,this new college or as they call it A B school has literally kicked the stuffing out of me,college timings are from 9:45 - 5 and they really make sure you do stay there,we gotta have something like 85% attendance else we cant appear for the exams,now that is bad enough but they must add more salt into the fresh flesh wound,by saying that we ,the students have to study before we come to class,solve some prep questions and wait for this hit,right below the belt,we have to give exams on everything that we have been taught every week,for every subject.
Now for a person who had something like 3% attendance in his final year of his bachelor's degree,its a completely different world,a dark ,different ,twisted sick world,which is so completely wrong in every and any way.There was always a lingering fear that ragging would be the biggest problem in this college,like in any college,but here the seniors dont have the time to rag you,the teachers are the ones ragging you all the time.
Presentations are like beggars on the streets,every freaking day someone or another has to present something,Ghajini[one such sir] asks people to make 20-25 min ppts and randomly picks people to present them,we have this prep english communications class which inevitably becomes a motivation class and we end up seeing clippings of Lakshya or The Pursuit of Happiness ,bah i know now the lyrics of some crummy lakhsya song like its tattooed on my groin.I am not a person who likes to study too much but man they make us work real damn hard every single day,even our weekends arent free.
However ,thanks to all the motivation classes i can now see the silver lining in this dark violent loud storm that has been brewing,i aint scared of making presentations any more,ever since Ghajini asked me to make a presentation on Linear Regression,presentations dont scare me anymore,the story goes like this,we were to make a 30 minute ppt on linear regression,i opened our stats book and the chapter made no sense,so the next day as i leave my house and i end up standing in a queue for a bus,its raining cats and dogs,am wet and pissed off,the bus ride is an hour long and i reach college with a bad cold and no idea what is to happen,and bang first period,am cold and wet and ghajini asks me to present.
Fortunately my presentation and english skills saved my ass from getting a firing i wouldnt forget,infact ghajini and the class applauded my effort ,even got complemented by the Ghajini.
The 2nd good bit from this college are my friends,unlike Techno where i technically found just one good ,proper friend,this time around i found quite a few,including my long lost brother(plus he is a musalman) so thats certainly good.Also most of the teachers do like me a tad bit,especially Marketing sir(he called me a proper romantic,amongst other things which can be misinterpreted),our communications maam and also Ghajini to an extent.
So this is the start of another beginning,2 years of hard labor and hard work,in fact one of these past weekends when i was studying to give an exam ,my dad popped into my room and told me,something which i never thought i would ever hear
"Beta itna padhai mat karo,thoda ps3 bhi khelo"
Its not that i didnt have a lot to write about ,this new college or as they call it A B school has literally kicked the stuffing out of me,college timings are from 9:45 - 5 and they really make sure you do stay there,we gotta have something like 85% attendance else we cant appear for the exams,now that is bad enough but they must add more salt into the fresh flesh wound,by saying that we ,the students have to study before we come to class,solve some prep questions and wait for this hit,right below the belt,we have to give exams on everything that we have been taught every week,for every subject.
Now for a person who had something like 3% attendance in his final year of his bachelor's degree,its a completely different world,a dark ,different ,twisted sick world,which is so completely wrong in every and any way.There was always a lingering fear that ragging would be the biggest problem in this college,like in any college,but here the seniors dont have the time to rag you,the teachers are the ones ragging you all the time.
Presentations are like beggars on the streets,every freaking day someone or another has to present something,Ghajini[one such sir] asks people to make 20-25 min ppts and randomly picks people to present them,we have this prep english communications class which inevitably becomes a motivation class and we end up seeing clippings of Lakshya or The Pursuit of Happiness ,bah i know now the lyrics of some crummy lakhsya song like its tattooed on my groin.I am not a person who likes to study too much but man they make us work real damn hard every single day,even our weekends arent free.
However ,thanks to all the motivation classes i can now see the silver lining in this dark violent loud storm that has been brewing,i aint scared of making presentations any more,ever since Ghajini asked me to make a presentation on Linear Regression,presentations dont scare me anymore,the story goes like this,we were to make a 30 minute ppt on linear regression,i opened our stats book and the chapter made no sense,so the next day as i leave my house and i end up standing in a queue for a bus,its raining cats and dogs,am wet and pissed off,the bus ride is an hour long and i reach college with a bad cold and no idea what is to happen,and bang first period,am cold and wet and ghajini asks me to present.
Fortunately my presentation and english skills saved my ass from getting a firing i wouldnt forget,infact ghajini and the class applauded my effort ,even got complemented by the Ghajini.
The 2nd good bit from this college are my friends,unlike Techno where i technically found just one good ,proper friend,this time around i found quite a few,including my long lost brother(plus he is a musalman) so thats certainly good.Also most of the teachers do like me a tad bit,especially Marketing sir(he called me a proper romantic,amongst other things which can be misinterpreted),our communications maam and also Ghajini to an extent.
So this is the start of another beginning,2 years of hard labor and hard work,in fact one of these past weekends when i was studying to give an exam ,my dad popped into my room and told me,something which i never thought i would ever hear
"Beta itna padhai mat karo,thoda ps3 bhi khelo"
Friday, June 25, 2010
Manko Man
I know i havent updated my blog in a while but that's because my exams were on,ok there were only like 2 exams but still the minimal amount of Bengali in me pops out during em exams and also the World cup was on.
Back to the topic,The 4th extendeble member of the group is Somanko Bhattacharya,no relation to Babla,[Soumyadeep Bhattacharya] although Babla has been pestering Manko[Somanko] about them being relatives in the future,read their children marry each other no matter what sex they are,he gets really upset about this babla manko "rishtedaaree".
I first came across manko in class 10,Babla had bought him over to my place and we played my beautiful ps2 all day long,that was the start of something special,manko me and the ps2 ,fucking amazing gaming sessions would take place,especially WWE Smackdown ,Fifa and then when my fifa dvd's would get busted pro evo soccer.The best bits were when i would commit fouls in the game and the fucktard ref wouldnt give him a foul,he would trun red in anger
"Adeeeeem ,i wont play if you cheat and play dirty"
I would just snicker like mutley and continue doing so,the oh so bloody brilliant lunge from behind right when his striker is through on goal and more often than not the ref would just give a free kick or something,Red manko ,in fact after all these pro evo games i started calling him vicious coz he would lose his temper whenever i would play dirty and he still gets pissed if someone calls him "Vicious",i dare you people to try it,however i wont be responsible for the viciousness of Vicious.
One such amazing game took place in Fifa 07,it was a good old fashioned Liverpool VS Manu game,and it was 2-1 to me with like 80 minutes gone,85 mins Manko equalizes,89 mins i run straight from the kick off and score,3-2,91 minutes gone and manko gets a free kick outside the box and scores a stunner,94th minute i get a free kick and i [rather harry kewell] curles a stunner into the next,and then i start the expletives,to go back to those days.
And of course since the bloke is bengali he must ,and i mean must have a pet name,Tiga= Chintoo,Babla and Nagu,so now Manko = Dushtu,and again he hates being called that from his friends but we all do call him Dushtu only when we need to piss him off,which is almost every time we or at least every time i meet him.Not to forget since he is a bong he like every other bong has a special power called "Bengali mode" ,during this phase ,studies is the only important thing for him and his family,more often than not this mode is on during the exams,which means no TV,no computer ,no enjoyment and all.Fortunately my Bengali mode is less severe than that of Manko's and Babla's,they act like they got wiped off the face of the earth.
Talking about studies and the like ,the bloke shifted from my locality to half way across the city to study in ,get this,Narula Institute of Technology,now of course i cant let him live it down,so i call the college "Jaspinder Narula Institute of Technology" which again pisses him off a lot,but its not something i can rectify,i piss almost everyone off,thats my nature,but the college was named after the wife of the founder who is/was Jodh Singh.Chod Singh as i refer to it.
Another of the manc army in India,i remember a huge prank that was played on a couple of manc's ,twas in class 9 or 10 and we were discussing about the founder of Malchoda united [man united] ,a ton of these anti manu guys came up with the name Anderson Fatilla,a brilliant Swedish striker who founder Manu way back when,and these 2 pricks believed it,again he gets really upset about the Fatilla episode,he does ask me about transfer news once a while to which my response is
"Manu are bidding for Baichung Bhutia and Climax Lawrence"
He probably is the proper maagibaaz in my core group of friends,although he denies this,its so fucking obvious,his friend list and scrap book is filled with chicks,plus he only and i repeat only gets calls from girls,and he mostly calls girls during the evening,wait now i know the truth,damn Manko man is a pimp,thats why he likes being called Manko,dammit i should have found out earlier.
He also has a wide range of abuses and is a proper abuser along the likes of me and babla,one of the few people who actually can destroy babla in his own game and more often than not beats babla up a bit,i guess babla is scared of unleashing the viciousness of the Vicious Manko,on yeah Vicious Bhattacharya is Manko's offspring's name,that i made up,he is the only friend whose kid will not be referred to as an expletive,for eg Babla's kid is Suorer Bachcha [son of a pig] and so on.
Oh yeah he is probably the only close friend of mine who actually keeps tabs on all of us,even if it means calling me and getting the shit abused out of him,aaahhh true friendship,hard to find these days.
Back to the topic,The 4th extendeble member of the group is Somanko Bhattacharya,no relation to Babla,[Soumyadeep Bhattacharya] although Babla has been pestering Manko[Somanko] about them being relatives in the future,read their children marry each other no matter what sex they are,he gets really upset about this babla manko "rishtedaaree".
I first came across manko in class 10,Babla had bought him over to my place and we played my beautiful ps2 all day long,that was the start of something special,manko me and the ps2 ,fucking amazing gaming sessions would take place,especially WWE Smackdown ,Fifa and then when my fifa dvd's would get busted pro evo soccer.The best bits were when i would commit fouls in the game and the fucktard ref wouldnt give him a foul,he would trun red in anger
"Adeeeeem ,i wont play if you cheat and play dirty"
I would just snicker like mutley and continue doing so,the oh so bloody brilliant lunge from behind right when his striker is through on goal and more often than not the ref would just give a free kick or something,Red manko ,in fact after all these pro evo games i started calling him vicious coz he would lose his temper whenever i would play dirty and he still gets pissed if someone calls him "Vicious",i dare you people to try it,however i wont be responsible for the viciousness of Vicious.
One such amazing game took place in Fifa 07,it was a good old fashioned Liverpool VS Manu game,and it was 2-1 to me with like 80 minutes gone,85 mins Manko equalizes,89 mins i run straight from the kick off and score,3-2,91 minutes gone and manko gets a free kick outside the box and scores a stunner,94th minute i get a free kick and i [rather harry kewell] curles a stunner into the next,and then i start the expletives,to go back to those days.
And of course since the bloke is bengali he must ,and i mean must have a pet name,Tiga= Chintoo,Babla and Nagu,so now Manko = Dushtu,and again he hates being called that from his friends but we all do call him Dushtu only when we need to piss him off,which is almost every time we or at least every time i meet him.Not to forget since he is a bong he like every other bong has a special power called "Bengali mode" ,during this phase ,studies is the only important thing for him and his family,more often than not this mode is on during the exams,which means no TV,no computer ,no enjoyment and all.Fortunately my Bengali mode is less severe than that of Manko's and Babla's,they act like they got wiped off the face of the earth.
Talking about studies and the like ,the bloke shifted from my locality to half way across the city to study in ,get this,Narula Institute of Technology,now of course i cant let him live it down,so i call the college "Jaspinder Narula Institute of Technology" which again pisses him off a lot,but its not something i can rectify,i piss almost everyone off,thats my nature,but the college was named after the wife of the founder who is/was Jodh Singh.Chod Singh as i refer to it.
Another of the manc army in India,i remember a huge prank that was played on a couple of manc's ,twas in class 9 or 10 and we were discussing about the founder of Malchoda united [man united] ,a ton of these anti manu guys came up with the name Anderson Fatilla,a brilliant Swedish striker who founder Manu way back when,and these 2 pricks believed it,again he gets really upset about the Fatilla episode,he does ask me about transfer news once a while to which my response is
"Manu are bidding for Baichung Bhutia and Climax Lawrence"
He probably is the proper maagibaaz in my core group of friends,although he denies this,its so fucking obvious,his friend list and scrap book is filled with chicks,plus he only and i repeat only gets calls from girls,and he mostly calls girls during the evening,wait now i know the truth,damn Manko man is a pimp,thats why he likes being called Manko,dammit i should have found out earlier.
He also has a wide range of abuses and is a proper abuser along the likes of me and babla,one of the few people who actually can destroy babla in his own game and more often than not beats babla up a bit,i guess babla is scared of unleashing the viciousness of the Vicious Manko,on yeah Vicious Bhattacharya is Manko's offspring's name,that i made up,he is the only friend whose kid will not be referred to as an expletive,for eg Babla's kid is Suorer Bachcha [son of a pig] and so on.
Oh yeah he is probably the only close friend of mine who actually keeps tabs on all of us,even if it means calling me and getting the shit abused out of him,aaahhh true friendship,hard to find these days.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Nagu
The 3rd member of the gang of best pals is Nagu ,aka Somraj Sarkar,this guys name was fairly easy to put together due to his mannerisms and by what he is called at home.As all of you must know by now,if you didnt already,all bengali children have a pet name,no matter how easy their name may be easy to pronounce or even if the name is something unique,every bengali kid has a pet name ,thats the rule.
So we have Babla,Rohit is called Tiga[although he is happy with the name,since it is somewhat similar to Ex Fulham manager Jean "Tiga"na,I have Bonny ,and thus Somraj being a bong has "Raja" and since the freak[and believe me he is the freakiest of the lot] would always stick his tongue out to show his disliking of anything i put 2 and 2 together and Baam Naga-raja [King cobra] was born,so to cut it down we started calling him Nagu.
The first time i met the bloke was in class 10,he used to sit behind my bench and he seemed to be a normal bloke,a proper normal guy is hard to find in my school STB,but this guy would keep his trap shut,do nothing,in fact his friend Debapratim was the one who would do all the madness between the two,so i thought he was the mellow bong kid in school who wouldnt do anything to upset people because he was afraid of getting beaten up.
Our friendship initially grew because we were in the same hindi class[wow 2 bongs taking hindi as their 2nd language,we werent able to let that pass because chintoo would have a right go at us,"Betray" and all],there was football to discuss as well,typically he is a manc cunt,but we became the best of pals due to the school band,i was asked to join and play along with nagu,babla,gablu[roshan],adil ,afzal.Nagu was the drummer and we all had our first practice i remember at Babla's Granny's but ever since that day we have always practiced at nagu's.
This bloke is probably confused about his orientation as well,from the time i remembered asking him a very important question his answer has always confused me
q:if you had a choice would you spend a night with the hottest female of your choice or your favorite drum kit?
A:Drumkit,every single fucking time.
Wow is all i can say,and plus he has never had even a go at a relationship,not even an inkling for it,again credit has to be given but since he is a retard it doesnt make it any better.
Again the other bengali characteristic pops up here,being related to music somehow or another,he is a decent drummer though,but his drumming skills and all arent the most distinguishing factor about the bloke in the group,so to recap
Babla=Abuser/Comedian,Chintoo=Geek/Wanna be tall guy,Me=I am the glue that holds the gang together,Comedian/Abuser/Catalyst/Typical Harami comment maker.
Nagu is the slow,dumb freak,now he is slow,but he isnt a freak because of that,he is the real freak because of his actions and emotions or lack of sometimes.
For eg:Some time in diwali we all were at nagu's terrace[i wasnt there] so the guys were all looking up at the sky and a few firecrackers started lighting up the sky
Nagu ,points to the sky and says casually "eh boom,.........Boom.......boom" ,pointing at every burst cracker,with no emotion at all,but he continued saying "boom" everytime something lit off.
Then there are times he tries to prove his stupidity and ignorance,chintoo,nagu and i were at chintoo's,and we were talking about our favorite author's,Chintoo had a ton of Hercule Poiree books or something,i remember making a ton of jokes on em,Agatha Christie as well,i think they were the same book,so i told em "Anon" is my favorite author,i dont read too many books barring game manuals or game magazines,so the 3 of us have a nice chuckle,then after 5 minutes nagu asks "Eh Who is Anon?",so we give him the benefit of the doubt and tell him "Anon is short for Anonymous",Nagu goes "Ohhhhh ok",5 minutes later "Eh Who is Anonymous?"
Then there was the great FA cup joke when Liverpool beat Manu 1-0 in 2006,and he is telling us the next day in school
Nagu:did you see Peter Crouch being busted open by Drogba?
Rohit:Drogba plays for Chelsea.....
Oh yeah whenever something wrong is said in front of him or he wants to interrupt someone,he makes retarded sounds from his mouth ,for eg if anyone has said some wrong fact or something he goes "eh burrrrrrrrrrr pup click clack booomp" and then he starts talking,although i think he does it to make himself the center of attention.
Normally a calm cool guy,sometimes he loses his cool and when you touch a nerve he goes berserk,if anyone constantly pisses him off,mostly me or babla he would shout out "Boka choda ,Khankeer Chele ,Khisti Khabi?"[Translation "Bak chod,Randi ka bachcha,gaali khayega?],oh and he has the strength of like 5-6 men,babla,chintoo and i cant hold him down,we tried but we fail every single time.So he is the wrong person to mess around with.
The avid footballer he is,and we are as well,so almost every alternate day at Rohit's we would play footie,Rohit + Babla,Me+Nagu+Manko,the 3 of us would be together because we didnt have skills and we all are overweight,well nagu aint but he is slow,Nagu though would make excellent runs and would invariably end up being right in front of goal,ball gets crossed and he is standing like a foot in front of the goal line,and then when you think he will finish,the finishing touch by nagu always ended with the ball hitting the roof's ledge,no goal,he did this every time we played like 15 times out of the 16 times he would have a chance at goal,thats talent.
He also sports a beard second to that of a criminal,full fledged beard + moustache combo,he even scared my cousin sister who now refers to him as "daari waala",we gifted him a shaving set on his 16 birthday i remember,he is unrecognisable when he is clean shaven ,he probably will get arrested one day for not looking like the person in his ID card or some,else a terrorist or something for sure.
Right now he is studying Architecture at BESU,he always had a dream about being an "arky" as he calls it ,i remember him being pummeled every single day by his seniors as it was part of ragging,but he couldnt rag his juniors,bloody chutia,nevertheless,his dream was always to build the roof for court where the Wimbledon finals are played,i think that dream is over as i heard the construction for the roof has begun or is finished,not sure,but i coaxed him to build ,or at least he will plan my next house,as he always reminds me,since he is an "arky" ,he will only make plans and not take part in the building process as he is not an engineer,typical lazy bastard.
So we have Babla,Rohit is called Tiga[although he is happy with the name,since it is somewhat similar to Ex Fulham manager Jean "Tiga"na,I have Bonny ,and thus Somraj being a bong has "Raja" and since the freak[and believe me he is the freakiest of the lot] would always stick his tongue out to show his disliking of anything i put 2 and 2 together and Baam Naga-raja [King cobra] was born,so to cut it down we started calling him Nagu.
The first time i met the bloke was in class 10,he used to sit behind my bench and he seemed to be a normal bloke,a proper normal guy is hard to find in my school STB,but this guy would keep his trap shut,do nothing,in fact his friend Debapratim was the one who would do all the madness between the two,so i thought he was the mellow bong kid in school who wouldnt do anything to upset people because he was afraid of getting beaten up.
Our friendship initially grew because we were in the same hindi class[wow 2 bongs taking hindi as their 2nd language,we werent able to let that pass because chintoo would have a right go at us,"Betray" and all],there was football to discuss as well,typically he is a manc cunt,but we became the best of pals due to the school band,i was asked to join and play along with nagu,babla,gablu[roshan],adil ,afzal.Nagu was the drummer and we all had our first practice i remember at Babla's Granny's but ever since that day we have always practiced at nagu's.
This bloke is probably confused about his orientation as well,from the time i remembered asking him a very important question his answer has always confused me
q:if you had a choice would you spend a night with the hottest female of your choice or your favorite drum kit?
A:Drumkit,every single fucking time.
Wow is all i can say,and plus he has never had even a go at a relationship,not even an inkling for it,again credit has to be given but since he is a retard it doesnt make it any better.
Again the other bengali characteristic pops up here,being related to music somehow or another,he is a decent drummer though,but his drumming skills and all arent the most distinguishing factor about the bloke in the group,so to recap
Babla=Abuser/Comedian,Chintoo=Geek/Wanna be tall guy,Me=I am the glue that holds the gang together,Comedian/Abuser/Catalyst/Typical Harami comment maker.
Nagu is the slow,dumb freak,now he is slow,but he isnt a freak because of that,he is the real freak because of his actions and emotions or lack of sometimes.
For eg:Some time in diwali we all were at nagu's terrace[i wasnt there] so the guys were all looking up at the sky and a few firecrackers started lighting up the sky
Nagu ,points to the sky and says casually "eh boom,.........Boom.......boom" ,pointing at every burst cracker,with no emotion at all,but he continued saying "boom" everytime something lit off.
Then there are times he tries to prove his stupidity and ignorance,chintoo,nagu and i were at chintoo's,and we were talking about our favorite author's,Chintoo had a ton of Hercule Poiree books or something,i remember making a ton of jokes on em,Agatha Christie as well,i think they were the same book,so i told em "Anon" is my favorite author,i dont read too many books barring game manuals or game magazines,so the 3 of us have a nice chuckle,then after 5 minutes nagu asks "Eh Who is Anon?",so we give him the benefit of the doubt and tell him "Anon is short for Anonymous",Nagu goes "Ohhhhh ok",5 minutes later "Eh Who is Anonymous?"
Then there was the great FA cup joke when Liverpool beat Manu 1-0 in 2006,and he is telling us the next day in school
Nagu:did you see Peter Crouch being busted open by Drogba?
Rohit:Drogba plays for Chelsea.....
Oh yeah whenever something wrong is said in front of him or he wants to interrupt someone,he makes retarded sounds from his mouth ,for eg if anyone has said some wrong fact or something he goes "eh burrrrrrrrrrr pup click clack booomp" and then he starts talking,although i think he does it to make himself the center of attention.
Normally a calm cool guy,sometimes he loses his cool and when you touch a nerve he goes berserk,if anyone constantly pisses him off,mostly me or babla he would shout out "Boka choda ,Khankeer Chele ,Khisti Khabi?"[Translation "Bak chod,Randi ka bachcha,gaali khayega?],oh and he has the strength of like 5-6 men,babla,chintoo and i cant hold him down,we tried but we fail every single time.So he is the wrong person to mess around with.
The avid footballer he is,and we are as well,so almost every alternate day at Rohit's we would play footie,Rohit + Babla,Me+Nagu+Manko,the 3 of us would be together because we didnt have skills and we all are overweight,well nagu aint but he is slow,Nagu though would make excellent runs and would invariably end up being right in front of goal,ball gets crossed and he is standing like a foot in front of the goal line,and then when you think he will finish,the finishing touch by nagu always ended with the ball hitting the roof's ledge,no goal,he did this every time we played like 15 times out of the 16 times he would have a chance at goal,thats talent.
He also sports a beard second to that of a criminal,full fledged beard + moustache combo,he even scared my cousin sister who now refers to him as "daari waala",we gifted him a shaving set on his 16 birthday i remember,he is unrecognisable when he is clean shaven ,he probably will get arrested one day for not looking like the person in his ID card or some,else a terrorist or something for sure.
Right now he is studying Architecture at BESU,he always had a dream about being an "arky" as he calls it ,i remember him being pummeled every single day by his seniors as it was part of ragging,but he couldnt rag his juniors,bloody chutia,nevertheless,his dream was always to build the roof for court where the Wimbledon finals are played,i think that dream is over as i heard the construction for the roof has begun or is finished,not sure,but i coaxed him to build ,or at least he will plan my next house,as he always reminds me,since he is an "arky" ,he will only make plans and not take part in the building process as he is not an engineer,typical lazy bastard.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)