While i was in Dubai i had this one place to get me a haircut,nice place,completely AC.....hell man the barber would give me a candy bar after me haircut ,nice comfy chair,good clean barbers.....you know a proper place for a haircut.....all for like 10 Dirhams or if you convert it now its like 70 bucks......but i didnt go to the palce coz it was nice and decent...i would go coz of its close proximity to my house........
so when i shifted to calcutta....i knew i was gonna be in for a rough ride........first of all none of the barbershops near me house had any such thing like an AC....so the first couple of times me dad took me to the barbers.....then one week i decided fuck that i will go on my own....i dont need no dad.......
now we must get one thing clear.....earlier i wouldnt wear me glasses while i went to the barbers.....for some reason i dont know....i just woudnt wear em......so off i went for a haircut........this happened in around 2003
now in me old locality there were a ton of afghanistanis and all....not in Dubai but in Calcutta....yes the infamous Jamal Para.......you will know bout it as soon as you go there....so as i was saying there were two places for getting a haircut there......now since i never wore me glasses to the place...i coudlnt differentiete one from the other.....so i went into one.....as usual they guys were just sitting bout eating their breakfast........
"baetho bhai baetho.........naashta karle ......"
so i sat.....after a few minutes the guy gets up and says.....
"achcha aapke baaal ka rang kya kare?
red....ya gold?"
i got the fuck out of there......so i went into the next place....this place would be my spot for haircutting for the next 3 years or so...before i shifted out of the hell hole.....
now this second place....was another crap heap.....broken chairs....cheap haircuts[the reason i went there in the first place].....and often they would not have any electricity....so no fans or nothing.......i would sweat like a turkey on thanksgiving.......and the thing that really pissed me off was their sense of hygeine ......they had a really bad sense....i mean all the barbers their had a cold no matter what time of the year you went....summer....yes...winter...yes.....monsoon....yes......which woudnt be a problem.....but then idiots would always cough on the hair cutting "utensils"....coughing on the metal objects is bad enough ....they wouldnt even wash em off....hell they would directly use the same on me hair....plus if i was real lucky....they would sneeze on me as well....but no apologies or anything.....they all have a work to do after all....fucking assholes
hell man and the abuses they would hurl at one another.....it was almost like a bunch of poets at a recital....now i wouldnt feel uncomfortable at all....coz i have practiced the art of abusing in 3 languages.....hindi,bengali and english.....but you know no one shld be abusing all the time[cept me and me pals of course....plus we do have some limits...] but these people would just go on and on and on and on....like they were gonna get a noble prize for literature.....the last thing i remember bout them assholes is that they once said
"aapka baal kutta ka doom ke tarah hai.....har waqt khara ho jaata hai"
son of a bitch just do your job....leave the wisecracks to me....asshole
so a few years later i shifted to a better locale.....a better housing complex....better class of people.....better locality does not ensure a better hair cut........i go to the "new" place....which is just slightly better than the old one....or so i thought.....as usual they dont have electricity whenever i go......or the sneeze on me while doing their job....the abusing is still there...plus they are biharis cutting my hair......they often botch up my hair......but now at least i wear me glasses to the place....coz am real scared of getting run over by some car.....
now i have this other problem....for some reason i just wont get my haircut done when people want me to.....like me dad oftens screams and shouts out loud for me to get me hair cut done....
"get it done by saturday.....or else you wont have a house to come back to"
i just dont feel like gettin it done on that said day....and i dont do this coz its me dad...even when me mom or granny or any other person i know tells me to get a haircut ...i just wont ......
but when i do set my mind for the task i will get it done no matter what happens.....
recently i decided to get my haircut on a thursday.....and i went to the place....they had no electricity.....so the guy asked me to come later....i said
"no way......aaaj hi baaaal kato nahin toh main 2 mahine baad aaoonga"
so thanks to my stubborness i was the only person gettin a haircut on that day....people would come and walk away seeing that they would die of the heat.....and they were wondering as to why a freak was cutting his hair now.....plus my barber was so pissed....he kept on sayin....
"aaap kal nahin aa sakte hai?....kal aa jate toh achcha hota"
i would be like
"just do your job.....aapna kaam karo na"
and so he continued on ..............sloggin away in the heat.....poor bloke....i did tip him though.....so that should cheer him up......
hell i didnt wanna go to the barbers so bad....that i was asking all me relatives if they would cut my hair......i also said...they would not be liable for any thing they do to me hair....but no one took me offer.....
so to all you people...the offer is still open....gimme any God Damn haircut possible......at me own home of course....you are free to do what you want....coz i really dont wanna go to the barbers any more.....
really i dont........
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