Everyone gets a gaming orgasm, even the people who aren't the game loving types. There is this infectious game called "Candy Crush Saga" which is the current talk of the town with its simple match making puzzle logic, bright visuals and crazy combos. The game has been tried by most people I know, some of them have played it, gotten lost in it and forgotten what reality is, others, like myself have tried to play it, failed at it and have tried to resume with life without sounding sheepish "I couldn't finish level 34".
One of my colleagues is the Candy Crush Queen, currently on something like level 300. We crack jokes in office that her KRA consists of completing all the 600+ levels of the game before this year ends. She is one crazy girl and is constantly asking people for "lives" to continue playing the game so that she can progress further. Of course her taunts continue to jab us as to how we are stuck in xyz level or how people gave up so easily without even trying, let her try playing Fifa on Legendary and beating a team 5-0 constantly but I digress.
Recently she got an idea from yours truly about how she can use her candy crushing saga to better use. You see an aunt of mine had jumped on the Farmville bandwagon. That farming game which had everyone sowing crops and trying to grow plants online rather than in reality. My aunt made around 40 K from this plant that she started sharing with people so that they could grow their crops faster or some shit like that, so now my colleague decides to do the same, help the poor little souls stuck in some level and help them clear it.
So one day in office another colleague pops in and hands her a large Cadbury Silk chocolate for helping her clear the level, which is very good and all. However little miss candy decides to taunt Manish and me constantly telling people that she is going to have "silk" and how she wont share etc etc etc. Not to be outdone , Manish challenges her that he will take the Silk from her and she wont have a damn clue about it. Challenge accepted by the Queen of the Candy.
So she stores it, of course before flaunting it to us, in her drawer and she nicely locks it and keeps on saying that we can't do anything about it. Manish and I just keep staring at each other and the drawer, we know there will be this one window of opportunity for us to strike and when that chance comes by the power of Grey Skull we will strike.
After a little while she goes off to do some work and we strike, you see our office drawers aren't the safest place to keep anything. They can easily be opened by some other key, so while the other colleagues in our floor stare at us, I coolly pick up my key and try to jig her drawer open but it doesn't work. "Does another key actually work? Is it really going to work" are overheard, I next take Manish's key and hey ho!
I open the freaking drawer, take out the huge chocolate bar, lock her drawer and as soon as I had over the chocolate to Manish the Candy Queen sees it and starts screaming at us. Everyone on our floor freaks out and now she starts chasing Manish, who tries to hide it in his locker (which is safer). She almost pushes him into the drawer set which could have let to a massive injury, he somehow survives falling and runs away, ultimately he takes the chocolate and runs to the men's washroom and tries to hide it in a duct. I tell him to give it back before she goes all berserk and brings the entire floor down. We try to sneak out of the washroom and SHE is standing there waiting for us to give it back which we do.
The next few minutes are filled with laughter and a gentle reminder never to challenge us, she keeps on repeating "You won't get any chocolate from this" we calmly say "We don't need the chocolate, we needed to make a point and we have done that".
At the end of the day she did share the chocolate with us, this being the second time this candy queen decided to mock us and our abilities, I hope she has learned not to challenge or doubt our abilities.
Once bitten, twice shy?
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Saturday, September 21, 2013
5 Point Maaza
There was a small girl stuck in a dark desolate place which was eating her soul and bringing in misery that she never expected to come and be a part of the life she was leading. A change in guard had completely destroyed her happiness and had taken away all the joy that was within her.
Her only ray of hope was the small lunch box provided at the dungeon which kept her chained. Till now she had been accepting the crummy fruits from one evil lord which was owning all the orchards, the hero came in the form of the "Orgapure", a hero so pure that not even the slightest hint of non vegetarian food was to be provided and the icing on the cake of the entire ordering circle was the presence of the sweet heavenly nectar called Maaza, you know the Aamsutra which Katrina so sexually advertises, ok so thats for Slice but you get the picture.
So we both order our fruit boxes from Orgapure, yes I can't continue the Game of throne -esque structure anymore. I took the option of taking up Orgapure not because I want to eat veg food in office but rather the fact that they have the best fruits around, I carry my food from my home nowadays, this lady however wanted to take the box just for the fact that the Maaza was being presented to her. A point she made, repeatedly to me and Manish,
"Next week I will be having maaza"
"Manish, Maaza time"
"Karim & Manish, maaza aayega next week se"
She kept on harping about it like the day would not end until we made her gulp down a gallon of maaza. It was left to the two of us to make sure things didn't go over the top.
Day 1
As usual our lunch boxes came and the orgapure boxes come the earliest, eagerly I open the box in hope for the maaza , lo and behold, fate is a cruel, cruel thing. No maaza at all , instead they had this mango delicacy which I can't remember. It was like a preserve of the mango, a cross between a jam and a pickle, anyways a fellow football fan was gobbling it up ,Suva, not giving a damn as to what was going about.
She on the other hand was going crazy as to why she did not get the maaza, cursing our souls since she believed we had something to do with it and that we had taken the maaza away, cross our hearts and souls ,manish and I had nothing to do with it.
Not that she was going to listen to it and she still blamed us throughout lunch that we had jinxed the arrival of the Maaza, we on the other hand told her that she had jinxed it thanks to the continuous love affair for the maaza.
Day one, Maaza 1 Girl 0
Day 2
The food boxes come in and she is away doing some work. I have a peek into my box and I find that there is a maaza drink pouch in it, quick as a flash, I give my pack to the MR girl in the office Enakshi, to hide it and then I take the other Maaza and Manish hides it away from plain slight. Coolly I fix her disturbed box to make sure she doesn't get a clue as to what has transpired.
She comes back and opens the box and instantly she sees something is a miss, she then does the exact thing that I expected her to. She tries to open my fruit box and also finds the maaza missing.
She then screams out our names like we had done the biggest crime in the world. Blaming us for taking the maaza, "I know you guys have taken it, give it back!". While we are giggling away and claiming that we did not take it. This blame game goes on for 10 minutes , while we finish one maaza while she is piercing us with a stare that someone would give to someone who has just shot their beloved.
We finally do relent and give her the maaza.
She then says "Now I will sit here between 12:30 PM and 1: 30 PM to make sure you guys dont take my maaza"
Challenge accepted
Us 1 Girl -1
Day 3
Again our food box comes at around 12:45, she is acting like a cop on a crime scene, constantly searching for suspects. I open my box and we start bursting out in laughter.
No maaza today also, they gave that preservative and while she starts thinking that we are somehow responsible for the situation, its anything but and all the folks on our floor have a hearty laugh.
The constant torrent of jokes on the both of us by the girl in the last week seems to have created a sort of jinx on her, she just was not getting the maaza she needs and well the one she doesn't deserve.
Us 2 Girl -1
Day 4
The vigil is set, she sits patiently for the drink of her choice to come, while she has kept the box in front of her she was busy on the phone with her better half. We sneak a peek at what drink has come in the box.
Great scots! Its freaking Appy Fizz, that crazy bubbly apple drink. Mo fucking hell, we now had to do something. She had already taken out the Fizz and kept it beside her, while she was busy talking to Mr Special, I calmly walk up to her desk, act like I am searching for some file and slyly take away the Fizz. Hidden from her eyes, we go back to our normal work.
When she is done with the call, she screams out in anger, WHO TOOK MY APPY FIZZ?
I KNOW ITS MANISH OR KARIM! I KNOW!!!!!!!!
You know that Batman dialogue, SWEAR TO ME! when he is interrogating a suspect while he is hanging upside down, I think it was detective Flass, this was almost the same line she was using to get the details out of us. Everyone is office is having a good laugh, we are trying to keep out cool and deny that we have any wrong doing, we even state that she was keeping watch over the stuff and how could she have let it get out of her sight.
She took Manish' cell phone as a part of an exchange but that didn't deter us, we still maintained we haven't done anything, again after a lot of relenting we decided to give her back the drink. Taught her a lesson about bloating we did, so much for the "vigil" that she tried to keep.
Us 3 Girl -1
Day 5
We had planned to take the pranking to a whole new level. We were thinking of asking the delivery boys to give us the boxes first so that we can empty her carton of the drink and keep the empty carton inside, that would have really started a fire.
Fortunately that event never transpired. Again the Orgapure guys decided to give that mango preserve, so the final score for the week turned out.
Us 4 Girl -1
She did learn a few lessons though, not to bloat big, not to act like she can pwn us with regard to pranking and not to scream and shout about the drink in her lunch box.
This week was done, Next week its going to start all over again.
Yaari Dosti Taaza Maaza
Her only ray of hope was the small lunch box provided at the dungeon which kept her chained. Till now she had been accepting the crummy fruits from one evil lord which was owning all the orchards, the hero came in the form of the "Orgapure", a hero so pure that not even the slightest hint of non vegetarian food was to be provided and the icing on the cake of the entire ordering circle was the presence of the sweet heavenly nectar called Maaza, you know the Aamsutra which Katrina so sexually advertises, ok so thats for Slice but you get the picture.
So we both order our fruit boxes from Orgapure, yes I can't continue the Game of throne -esque structure anymore. I took the option of taking up Orgapure not because I want to eat veg food in office but rather the fact that they have the best fruits around, I carry my food from my home nowadays, this lady however wanted to take the box just for the fact that the Maaza was being presented to her. A point she made, repeatedly to me and Manish,
"Next week I will be having maaza"
"Manish, Maaza time"
"Karim & Manish, maaza aayega next week se"
She kept on harping about it like the day would not end until we made her gulp down a gallon of maaza. It was left to the two of us to make sure things didn't go over the top.
Day 1
As usual our lunch boxes came and the orgapure boxes come the earliest, eagerly I open the box in hope for the maaza , lo and behold, fate is a cruel, cruel thing. No maaza at all , instead they had this mango delicacy which I can't remember. It was like a preserve of the mango, a cross between a jam and a pickle, anyways a fellow football fan was gobbling it up ,Suva, not giving a damn as to what was going about.
She on the other hand was going crazy as to why she did not get the maaza, cursing our souls since she believed we had something to do with it and that we had taken the maaza away, cross our hearts and souls ,manish and I had nothing to do with it.
Not that she was going to listen to it and she still blamed us throughout lunch that we had jinxed the arrival of the Maaza, we on the other hand told her that she had jinxed it thanks to the continuous love affair for the maaza.
Day one, Maaza 1 Girl 0
Day 2
The food boxes come in and she is away doing some work. I have a peek into my box and I find that there is a maaza drink pouch in it, quick as a flash, I give my pack to the MR girl in the office Enakshi, to hide it and then I take the other Maaza and Manish hides it away from plain slight. Coolly I fix her disturbed box to make sure she doesn't get a clue as to what has transpired.
She comes back and opens the box and instantly she sees something is a miss, she then does the exact thing that I expected her to. She tries to open my fruit box and also finds the maaza missing.
She then screams out our names like we had done the biggest crime in the world. Blaming us for taking the maaza, "I know you guys have taken it, give it back!". While we are giggling away and claiming that we did not take it. This blame game goes on for 10 minutes , while we finish one maaza while she is piercing us with a stare that someone would give to someone who has just shot their beloved.
We finally do relent and give her the maaza.
She then says "Now I will sit here between 12:30 PM and 1: 30 PM to make sure you guys dont take my maaza"
Challenge accepted
Us 1 Girl -1
Day 3
Again our food box comes at around 12:45, she is acting like a cop on a crime scene, constantly searching for suspects. I open my box and we start bursting out in laughter.
No maaza today also, they gave that preservative and while she starts thinking that we are somehow responsible for the situation, its anything but and all the folks on our floor have a hearty laugh.
The constant torrent of jokes on the both of us by the girl in the last week seems to have created a sort of jinx on her, she just was not getting the maaza she needs and well the one she doesn't deserve.
Us 2 Girl -1
Day 4
The vigil is set, she sits patiently for the drink of her choice to come, while she has kept the box in front of her she was busy on the phone with her better half. We sneak a peek at what drink has come in the box.
Great scots! Its freaking Appy Fizz, that crazy bubbly apple drink. Mo fucking hell, we now had to do something. She had already taken out the Fizz and kept it beside her, while she was busy talking to Mr Special, I calmly walk up to her desk, act like I am searching for some file and slyly take away the Fizz. Hidden from her eyes, we go back to our normal work.
When she is done with the call, she screams out in anger, WHO TOOK MY APPY FIZZ?
I KNOW ITS MANISH OR KARIM! I KNOW!!!!!!!!
You know that Batman dialogue, SWEAR TO ME! when he is interrogating a suspect while he is hanging upside down, I think it was detective Flass, this was almost the same line she was using to get the details out of us. Everyone is office is having a good laugh, we are trying to keep out cool and deny that we have any wrong doing, we even state that she was keeping watch over the stuff and how could she have let it get out of her sight.
She took Manish' cell phone as a part of an exchange but that didn't deter us, we still maintained we haven't done anything, again after a lot of relenting we decided to give her back the drink. Taught her a lesson about bloating we did, so much for the "vigil" that she tried to keep.
Us 3 Girl -1
Day 5
We had planned to take the pranking to a whole new level. We were thinking of asking the delivery boys to give us the boxes first so that we can empty her carton of the drink and keep the empty carton inside, that would have really started a fire.
Fortunately that event never transpired. Again the Orgapure guys decided to give that mango preserve, so the final score for the week turned out.
Us 4 Girl -1
She did learn a few lessons though, not to bloat big, not to act like she can pwn us with regard to pranking and not to scream and shout about the drink in her lunch box.
This week was done, Next week its going to start all over again.
Yaari Dosti Taaza Maaza
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Picture Perfect
I remember being a small kid and going for a ton of holidays with my parents. Those days were simple, no mobile phones, no computers and certainly no invasive flashes where people tried to take random photographs. My dad would hand me that old Minolta/Kodak camera, check how many photos could be taken from the roll of film and tell me to be careful while taking the snap.
Looking back at the 10 or so albums which have been filled with photographs, each photograph actually had a story behind it, from the time I sat at the wheel of a bus (was 3 years old) to this beautiful glorious photo where my Grandma and I are enjoying some jam sandwiches sitting on some of brown autumn leaves.
Taking a photograph had a meaning back then, unlike now where I feel like I have entered a crazy nightclub or am walking down the red carpet at the Oscar's with the number of flashes going off thanks to them damn mobile phones. I have a strict "No photograph " policy, I do not take photographs of the people I go with unless of course we meet up after a long time, like my college buddies who meet up once or twice in a year, that is a memorable time because well its only twice in a year that 5 freaks meet up for some real madness.
Of course the policy extends to no one taking my photo also, my dad loves this policy and he makes sure he takes a couple of photos wherever I go with him, sometimes I feel his only task in life (especially when I go out with my parents) is to troll me. His propensity for taking my photographs is directly proportional to how pissed my reaction is when he asks me if he can take my photo. The more I get pissed, more are the number of photos he takes.
The other thing I always get lambasted on by my parents is when I decide to take a few snaps, especially during those holidays. Now I prefer taking photos of the scenic beauty around me, no , not the bikini clad women but the natural beauty around us. The sand dunes and the sunset after our desert safari in Dubai, or the beautiful monasteries in Bangkok or the huge Shiv Temple ( I could be wrong with the temple , sorry about that) in Malaysia. Great structures are the thing that I like capturing on my cell, so when we go back to the hotel my parents ask me to show the photos I clicked throughout the day. Then comes the barrage of why do I take such shitty pictures, why is it that the pictures don't have people in them, why is it always the structures etc which come in your photos?. Its like that because that's what a photograph should be, a picture is worth a thousand words and instead of having people in it , it should have something to talk about, sometimes this whole "pose in front of x" seems a ruse to prove to people that you actually have been to this place.
If you can't accept that I have gone to x/z place, then you better not ask for me to show the holiday pictures. This again is one of the things which I dread. Especially if I ever go to relatives place who has just come back from the trip and they want to show the pictures. If I want to see the pictures I will ask about them, you do not have to show them to me in hope of winning the 10000$ prize on some game show. I don't show my holiday pics to people either, unless of course they ask for it and then they moan about how "people" are missing from the photos. Really?
Looking back at the 10 or so albums which have been filled with photographs, each photograph actually had a story behind it, from the time I sat at the wheel of a bus (was 3 years old) to this beautiful glorious photo where my Grandma and I are enjoying some jam sandwiches sitting on some of brown autumn leaves.
Taking a photograph had a meaning back then, unlike now where I feel like I have entered a crazy nightclub or am walking down the red carpet at the Oscar's with the number of flashes going off thanks to them damn mobile phones. I have a strict "No photograph " policy, I do not take photographs of the people I go with unless of course we meet up after a long time, like my college buddies who meet up once or twice in a year, that is a memorable time because well its only twice in a year that 5 freaks meet up for some real madness.
Of course the policy extends to no one taking my photo also, my dad loves this policy and he makes sure he takes a couple of photos wherever I go with him, sometimes I feel his only task in life (especially when I go out with my parents) is to troll me. His propensity for taking my photographs is directly proportional to how pissed my reaction is when he asks me if he can take my photo. The more I get pissed, more are the number of photos he takes.
The other thing I always get lambasted on by my parents is when I decide to take a few snaps, especially during those holidays. Now I prefer taking photos of the scenic beauty around me, no , not the bikini clad women but the natural beauty around us. The sand dunes and the sunset after our desert safari in Dubai, or the beautiful monasteries in Bangkok or the huge Shiv Temple ( I could be wrong with the temple , sorry about that) in Malaysia. Great structures are the thing that I like capturing on my cell, so when we go back to the hotel my parents ask me to show the photos I clicked throughout the day. Then comes the barrage of why do I take such shitty pictures, why is it that the pictures don't have people in them, why is it always the structures etc which come in your photos?. Its like that because that's what a photograph should be, a picture is worth a thousand words and instead of having people in it , it should have something to talk about, sometimes this whole "pose in front of x" seems a ruse to prove to people that you actually have been to this place.
If you can't accept that I have gone to x/z place, then you better not ask for me to show the holiday pictures. This again is one of the things which I dread. Especially if I ever go to relatives place who has just come back from the trip and they want to show the pictures. If I want to see the pictures I will ask about them, you do not have to show them to me in hope of winning the 10000$ prize on some game show. I don't show my holiday pics to people either, unless of course they ask for it and then they moan about how "people" are missing from the photos. Really?
Friday, August 23, 2013
Hack me baby one more time!
This is one of those classic stories that you would love to bring up at a party or just to remember the good old days.
This happened way back when we were in class 11. For reasons to save myself from getting a hammering I won't be posting the name of the friend who had to deal with what happens next.
It was a fine morning and I guess it was a day off from school. This was the era when we had just found what a great thing Orkut is/was. While we all joined with the notion of keeping in contact with each other post us leaving school, it ended up as a sad and sick way just to try and add "friends".
Those crummy, spine tingling, shuddering days of guys just trying to add random girls in hope of getting some action still freak me out. Basically any girls' profile on the site was up for grabs.
As long as they were within our age group and was single, even not in certain cases, they would get a friend request and well you know the rest. Maagibaazi FTW!.
So most of us actually had like 300 friends for no reason and most of them were females in hope of getting a girl, so this friend of mine was/is no different and he too had a ton of female friends on his list.
He calls me up and his tone is a little shaky to start with,
"Adeem, you know what has happened?"
"Nah , kya hua, tell me...."
"Arrey dude, My orkut profile has been hacked"
I immediately start laughing my ass off, thinking that hacking a profile is only done to get credit card details and trying to completely wipe out your finances.
"Who the fuck wants to hack your profile?" I ask back, nevertheless me pal does come across to my place and logs into orkut.
While the page is loading he tells me
"Dude, some one has hacked my profile and they have changed my profile picture, its disturbing and now all these friends are taking me off the friend list and .....shit look at the photo man .......looook."
I turn to the screen and I have this face of shock which is succeeded by a loud laugh, its a picture of a girl ( a teenager) is holding this ginormous cock.
Pedo alert!
So his scraps are filled with "friends" (females) asking him to either delete the photo, change it and then warning him that he will be removed from their list.
So while he is on the mend trying to find out who has hacked his profile,my dad walks in and asks me whats going on.
I am thinking to myself , "Please don't open your trap man, don't tell my dad about the picture"
Crap man, don't blurt it out.
Fortunately my friend had the presence of mind to avoid describing the picture and replaced it with "a dirty picture".
While he could never recover his profile completely, the one lasting image (images) of this fiasco are those pesky profile viewers. Here are a couple of gems who "viewed" and added him on Orkut.
Cool Sexy Handsome Hunk
and amongst the plethora of sexually perverted people viewing his profile was the champion
"I AM HOMO, I LIKE TO EAT MOMO"
To this day, we have not been able to forget this one profile viewer and I believe the same profile tried to add my friend on Facebook as well.
Momo anyone?
This happened way back when we were in class 11. For reasons to save myself from getting a hammering I won't be posting the name of the friend who had to deal with what happens next.
It was a fine morning and I guess it was a day off from school. This was the era when we had just found what a great thing Orkut is/was. While we all joined with the notion of keeping in contact with each other post us leaving school, it ended up as a sad and sick way just to try and add "friends".
Those crummy, spine tingling, shuddering days of guys just trying to add random girls in hope of getting some action still freak me out. Basically any girls' profile on the site was up for grabs.
As long as they were within our age group and was single, even not in certain cases, they would get a friend request and well you know the rest. Maagibaazi FTW!.
So most of us actually had like 300 friends for no reason and most of them were females in hope of getting a girl, so this friend of mine was/is no different and he too had a ton of female friends on his list.
He calls me up and his tone is a little shaky to start with,
"Adeem, you know what has happened?"
"Nah , kya hua, tell me...."
"Arrey dude, My orkut profile has been hacked"
I immediately start laughing my ass off, thinking that hacking a profile is only done to get credit card details and trying to completely wipe out your finances.
"Who the fuck wants to hack your profile?" I ask back, nevertheless me pal does come across to my place and logs into orkut.
While the page is loading he tells me
"Dude, some one has hacked my profile and they have changed my profile picture, its disturbing and now all these friends are taking me off the friend list and .....shit look at the photo man .......looook."
I turn to the screen and I have this face of shock which is succeeded by a loud laugh, its a picture of a girl ( a teenager) is holding this ginormous cock.
Pedo alert!
So his scraps are filled with "friends" (females) asking him to either delete the photo, change it and then warning him that he will be removed from their list.
So while he is on the mend trying to find out who has hacked his profile,my dad walks in and asks me whats going on.
I am thinking to myself , "Please don't open your trap man, don't tell my dad about the picture"
My friend goes "Uncle, you have no idea, someone has hacked my profile and changed my picture to....."
Crap man, don't blurt it out.
Fortunately my friend had the presence of mind to avoid describing the picture and replaced it with "a dirty picture".
While he could never recover his profile completely, the one lasting image (images) of this fiasco are those pesky profile viewers. Here are a couple of gems who "viewed" and added him on Orkut.
Cool Sexy Handsome Hunk
and amongst the plethora of sexually perverted people viewing his profile was the champion
"I AM HOMO, I LIKE TO EAT MOMO"
To this day, we have not been able to forget this one profile viewer and I believe the same profile tried to add my friend on Facebook as well.
Momo anyone?
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Hey Hey Mignolet!
"Oh bloody hell, not again".
Another season, another false dawn. Leading yet again 1-0 but failing to capitalize on the possession and the number of chances we created. Sounds so familiar to every other season or at least the seasons post 2009.
The season had just started but it seemed to end so abruptly with the referee's whistle blowing. Stoke were always in the game and as usual we always let a team back into the game. Dominating possession, creating and squandering so many chances and our best friend Mr. "Hitting the goal post" was back again. This was going to be another long weekend.
"Penalty", the commentator said, "Oh fuck it" my mind went. 88th minute, we should have won this game. What a crappy start to the league. Our beloved Agger had just handled the ball in the penalty box and we could not make excuses for the poor decision because it was the correct one. No one to blame except us, so many chances to wrap the game up but to no avail.
On the other side of the pitch was a man standing tall. One of our targets for the goalkeeping spot this season. Asmir Begovic had double handedly kept his team in the game by making some tremendous saves, while his opposite number had quite a shaky start to the game and all the knives were out as to how could this man replace our Pepe?
The same who was shipped out so easily to Napoli for a year, a loan deal too. Up stepped Walters from Stoke to take the penalty, a player who has tormented us before and was sure to do it again.
"Oh well at least a point is better than what we did last season in the first game", shuddering to remember that calamitous start at the Hawthorns which finished with a 3-0 drubbing.
The striker steps up to take the shot, an info graphic shows the last 5 penalties Walters has converted and where he has placed each shot. Certainly the keeper would miss it, he does not look confident at all.
"Thump" the kick goes, my heart sinks and then a loud cheer is heard. I open my eyes fearing the Stoke crowd going wild when its our supporters cheering wildly. Mignolet had just saved a penalty. That may not sound much but he had done something which I can't remember one of our keepers having done in a long time.
He won us the game, no thanks to our finishing. Begovic was the man of the match but the man in our hearts is the Big Belgian. With a couple of saves he had just won over a gazillion Liverpool hearts , no more talk about "is he good enough?". This should say it all.
Another season, another false dawn. Leading yet again 1-0 but failing to capitalize on the possession and the number of chances we created. Sounds so familiar to every other season or at least the seasons post 2009.
The season had just started but it seemed to end so abruptly with the referee's whistle blowing. Stoke were always in the game and as usual we always let a team back into the game. Dominating possession, creating and squandering so many chances and our best friend Mr. "Hitting the goal post" was back again. This was going to be another long weekend.
"Penalty", the commentator said, "Oh fuck it" my mind went. 88th minute, we should have won this game. What a crappy start to the league. Our beloved Agger had just handled the ball in the penalty box and we could not make excuses for the poor decision because it was the correct one. No one to blame except us, so many chances to wrap the game up but to no avail.
On the other side of the pitch was a man standing tall. One of our targets for the goalkeeping spot this season. Asmir Begovic had double handedly kept his team in the game by making some tremendous saves, while his opposite number had quite a shaky start to the game and all the knives were out as to how could this man replace our Pepe?
The same who was shipped out so easily to Napoli for a year, a loan deal too. Up stepped Walters from Stoke to take the penalty, a player who has tormented us before and was sure to do it again.
"Oh well at least a point is better than what we did last season in the first game", shuddering to remember that calamitous start at the Hawthorns which finished with a 3-0 drubbing.
The striker steps up to take the shot, an info graphic shows the last 5 penalties Walters has converted and where he has placed each shot. Certainly the keeper would miss it, he does not look confident at all.
"Thump" the kick goes, my heart sinks and then a loud cheer is heard. I open my eyes fearing the Stoke crowd going wild when its our supporters cheering wildly. Mignolet had just saved a penalty. That may not sound much but he had done something which I can't remember one of our keepers having done in a long time.
He won us the game, no thanks to our finishing. Begovic was the man of the match but the man in our hearts is the Big Belgian. With a couple of saves he had just won over a gazillion Liverpool hearts , no more talk about "is he good enough?". This should say it all.
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Prison Pit
The comic book collection continues with weekly downloads of all them Marvel and DC reboots, Deadpool (the new series) is a sure shot winner with him being one of the funniest comic characters ever. Plus the writers make sure he breaks the fourth wall repeatedly to add some more humor into the series. In his latest issue he even remarks " There's no way Marvel would ever let such a lame villain come back from obscurity. Right?". Marvel did but that is beside the point. Deadpool is one character not to mess with, almost a Wolverine except he wisecracks and he is mentally unstable. That was not his own undoing. The Weapon X program fudged him up a lot trying to cure his cancer but the regenerative cells couldn't actually stop his cancer so it grows and then he cures himself and it goes on and on and on, horribly disfigured he may be but still one of the best characters to follow in a galaxy filled with Superheroes.
While Deadpool or a Cyclops would be there in your minds regarding comics, there was this little gem I came across on a list of top comic books in 2012-2013. Prison Pit from Johnny Ryan is sometimes the anti comic book that we all need. I remember growing up reading Chacha Chaudhury and them brilliant Tinkle digests but Prison Pit decides to destroy every notion that you have for a comic book. This book is strictly for adults as a lot of X rated violence and sex occurs in this black and white comic.
Very few lines are spoken in the series (4 books so far). Its just madness, carnage and violence laced with a bit of humor. The characters are all based on some alien planet and they are mega bad ass and by bad ass I mean disemboweling your adversary , beating them to a pulp, defecating on them and then eating the corpse up. Each issue is crazier than the next and you just wonder how the main character (whatever his name may be) survives for the next assault. One such arc is he is given a mega penis strapped to his groin. He then has to find a flying Pterodactyl with boobs and has to have sex with it while its vagina has teeth around its lips. That my friends is the crazy world of Prison Pit. I thought it would be too grotesque for me but I can't wait for the next issue to roll out.
Oh and the part of the Pterodactyl sex? That isn't even in the top 20 crazy, violent and graphics moments in the series.
And a bit more news, an animated youtube series is under production currently with Blake Anderson of Workaholics providing voice over. Win!
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| The Cover art for the 1st book |
While Deadpool or a Cyclops would be there in your minds regarding comics, there was this little gem I came across on a list of top comic books in 2012-2013. Prison Pit from Johnny Ryan is sometimes the anti comic book that we all need. I remember growing up reading Chacha Chaudhury and them brilliant Tinkle digests but Prison Pit decides to destroy every notion that you have for a comic book. This book is strictly for adults as a lot of X rated violence and sex occurs in this black and white comic.
Very few lines are spoken in the series (4 books so far). Its just madness, carnage and violence laced with a bit of humor. The characters are all based on some alien planet and they are mega bad ass and by bad ass I mean disemboweling your adversary , beating them to a pulp, defecating on them and then eating the corpse up. Each issue is crazier than the next and you just wonder how the main character (whatever his name may be) survives for the next assault. One such arc is he is given a mega penis strapped to his groin. He then has to find a flying Pterodactyl with boobs and has to have sex with it while its vagina has teeth around its lips. That my friends is the crazy world of Prison Pit. I thought it would be too grotesque for me but I can't wait for the next issue to roll out.
Oh and the part of the Pterodactyl sex? That isn't even in the top 20 crazy, violent and graphics moments in the series.
And a bit more news, an animated youtube series is under production currently with Blake Anderson of Workaholics providing voice over. Win!
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
What to do with a Suarez?
Another transfer window, another long drawn saga which could have been taken care off a month back had someone just iterated that wants to leave England and move to another country. However Mr. Suarez cannot keep his mouth shut so instead of vilifying the media for their constant attacks on him, he goes up to one of the papers to tell them about his sad story of how Liverpool have held him captive like a POW and not letting him make his dream move (again) to a Club in the Champions League. No disrespect to Arsenal but going to a Madrid, Barca or even a PSG makes more sense than staying in England where the fans had hurled so much abuse at Suarez and his family that he was contemplating moving to another country.
FYI Suarez, London is still a part of England and people will still target you there. He seems to have forgotten the tough times he gave all Liverpool fans and the club with his "racism" and "biting" incident, oh well that is a lesson we all have already learned in football. No loyalty left, so what do you do with a Suarez in your club wanting to move to a Champions League team?
Here we go
1: Sell him to PSG or Monaco
2: Loan him to Agent Rafa and his Napoli team (UCL and a pretty decent outfit)
3: Loan him to a club which is in the Champs league but willsurely get knocked out inthe group stage and bring him back to Liverpool for the 2nd half of the season.
4: Sell him to Celtic, hey he is out of England and in a CLub in the Champs League
5: Let him rot in the reserves and let him play only reserve fixtures
6: Make him leader of the Chewbaccas
7 : Lock him in the Big Brother house with Patrice Evra
8: Tell Daniel Agger what a Judas he is to become and watch the Dane elbow Suarez into obscurity
9 : Send him to an I League club (Indian league, just for the fun of it and so that he understands how much better he has it currently)
10: Take him back to the enchanted forest where he came from and find the witch that made him look like an elf.
Of course he hasn't left the club yet but it does seem he is about to go. Thanks for nothing Luis and hope you find a club big enough for your ego.
Good Riddance
FYI Suarez, London is still a part of England and people will still target you there. He seems to have forgotten the tough times he gave all Liverpool fans and the club with his "racism" and "biting" incident, oh well that is a lesson we all have already learned in football. No loyalty left, so what do you do with a Suarez in your club wanting to move to a Champions League team?
Here we go
1: Sell him to PSG or Monaco
2: Loan him to Agent Rafa and his Napoli team (UCL and a pretty decent outfit)
3: Loan him to a club which is in the Champs league but willsurely get knocked out inthe group stage and bring him back to Liverpool for the 2nd half of the season.
4: Sell him to Celtic, hey he is out of England and in a CLub in the Champs League
5: Let him rot in the reserves and let him play only reserve fixtures
6: Make him leader of the Chewbaccas
7 : Lock him in the Big Brother house with Patrice Evra
8: Tell Daniel Agger what a Judas he is to become and watch the Dane elbow Suarez into obscurity
9 : Send him to an I League club (Indian league, just for the fun of it and so that he understands how much better he has it currently)
10: Take him back to the enchanted forest where he came from and find the witch that made him look like an elf.
Of course he hasn't left the club yet but it does seem he is about to go. Thanks for nothing Luis and hope you find a club big enough for your ego.
Good Riddance
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