16 years ago, my Dad brought home a NES. A Nintendo entertainment system for the few sods who don't know what a NES stands for, this one device basically changed my life. Playing the likes of Mario, Duck Hunt, Contra and the likes opened up a crazy fantasy filled world to me where a fat ass like me could kick some ass like no one else could.
Proper gamers would get the idea of what I will be blogging about by the 2nd part of the title but for the people who don't play video games (I don't know how you cannot game), What I am talking about is the ability to be kickass while playing any game. They say form is temporary class is permanent and this is absolutely true in almost every part of life.
Take gaming for example, there are games and then there are games which want to kick your ass in case you think you are better than that. Devil May Cry 3 was the first such game which absolutely obliterated the player, until every player knew every trick up Dante's long sleeves , so well that in his sleep he could play DMC3 without getting killed. Ninja Gaiden is another such game which wants to show people that you could be a Ninja, fantastic but there are a million other ninjas which can and will kill you. Simple really.
For a few of the pussy's who could not take the literal pummeling and abuse people came up with hacks, cheats etc, the greatest cheat which almost every computer game and a few console games would have was GOD MODE, where you could not die, have infinite ammo and pretty much be GOD in the game. Sure I have played a few games with that "God mode" cheat on but only after I complete the game, this whole GOD mode changed again when God Of War was launched, you were a soldier/God/Son of Zeus [yes spoiler] and go on a rampage like never before with some slick weapons and the like, an amazing storyline makes this a game worth playing again and again, with or without God mode, does not make a difference.
However, the God mode is sometimes in built , you play a game so well that basically you are unbeatable, no one can get you be it the CPU or any friend who challenges you, you go on a crazy run, beating all the opponents no matter how strong they are. Your class is there, your form is infinite and you are GOD.
Recently, while playing Fifa 12 after a couple of weeks of college, the game seemed tougher, opponents were scoring last minute winners or game leveling goals, frustration was kicking in and then I got it, you need the perfect atmosphere the kickass. So midnight, parents gone to bed, not one sound from the outside, lights off and a ton of my favourite music and I go on a mofucking rampage ,destroying the best teams with even my reserves. This was not God mode, more like a crazy zone where you can't see or feel anything else but the game, like you are part of the game.
The greatest example of the zone would be a midnight stint of Burnout 3/Revenge where the game is so freaking brilliant , well I can't describe it, to experience the greatest Zone ever you have to play Burnout.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
2011 more like 2007
My friends at UA (Underground Authority) have become proper celebrities in and around this state at least. People jump on them for pictures and autographs, try to have a chat with em and just have a blast at their shows.
So when Babla (bass player) came over to my place with Nagu, they told me that UA would be performing at my school, STB at their fest, Melange. There is always a sense of nostalgia whenever you hear about your school, especially the one which has created and given so many stories for you to lather on people, so it was not a tough decision to make, the batch of 2007 was going back to school in 2011.
In typical UA fashion, since they are big superstars, they wanted the best slot to play and were scheduled to play from 4 PM, while I was in college getting some work done, I was sure I was going to miss them perform at school, fortunately or typically they were late and the show was to start at a quarter to 7.
Running back home from college and then running to school, I met up with Nagu and we entered, before entering, I was asked "Pass? where is your pass?"
To which Nagu replied "Don't worry, he is a part of UA"
Rock and roll motherhumpers!
I met up with Babla on stage, he was preparing for the shit which would make the STB guys believers. All this was fine, after all I did go to see my friends play, however we must not forget its STB and where there is STB there is bound to be madness and babali.
So the first thing I see, apart from our glorious buildings and that massive field of ours, was gold hair, yes , Gold fucking colored hair , guys had bleached their hair, put on sun glasses when it was 7 in the evening and it was pitch black. Somethings just wont change, as soon as we enter we hear the patented abuses about mothers fathers and all. The new thing which I saw was the presence of a lot of cars and those cars weren't of the people performing but rather of the boys out here to impress the chicks with their money, guys wearing white suits also littered the place. Financial meltdown? fuck no.
Lets not forget to mention the sound people, now I was one of the few privileged people to stand on a platform with the sound console and all, so there were pros manning the sound , making the acoustics and reverb and all that shit work well, we had this guy with his laptop recording the entire show and then we had the guy on lights. Now this guy was a pro I believe but he was from school, so it was quite freaky to see him play around on the lights console thinking he is Dj Tiesto or that chinese bloke form Linkin Park who would play with the samplers. I take a closer look and that fag is moving about like he is on fire and is playing the gig of his life, he had this assistant also acting like this guy was actually doing some shit but all he was doing was headbanging and moving his fingers on switches which he was not moving or touching. Impress the maagis? He tries.
Then the show starts and the crowd are rapturous, the guys are belting out their hindi numbers since we must remember STB don't do english, hindi is what they know and are receptive to. So receptive that a guy jumps on stage and dances his arse off only for one of the UA staff to push him off stage, while the song is on, then starts the madness
"Bhai ko dhakka kyu maara?" and this group of students are now ganging up on the bloke who tried to make sure nothing bad happened, song had to be stopped the people had to be separated by the members of the band, see, you can't change STB, no matter how many changes you make to the principal or how you govern it. Made me feel so warm inside, nothing has changed.
The last few minutes were us walking around the many corridors and classrooms we frequented so many times, it was seriously a brilliant moment, no teachers, just 5 guys walking around the classrooms , buildings and running about like mad people on the field.
For 2 hours at least I was not a person who is supposed to start working for a firm in a few months, rather it felt like I had started my schooling life all over again only that it began in STB and I was with my best friends, not being gay , just wish those days lasted a bit more, college life has nothing on school life.
STB all the way.
So when Babla (bass player) came over to my place with Nagu, they told me that UA would be performing at my school, STB at their fest, Melange. There is always a sense of nostalgia whenever you hear about your school, especially the one which has created and given so many stories for you to lather on people, so it was not a tough decision to make, the batch of 2007 was going back to school in 2011.
In typical UA fashion, since they are big superstars, they wanted the best slot to play and were scheduled to play from 4 PM, while I was in college getting some work done, I was sure I was going to miss them perform at school, fortunately or typically they were late and the show was to start at a quarter to 7.
Running back home from college and then running to school, I met up with Nagu and we entered, before entering, I was asked "Pass? where is your pass?"
To which Nagu replied "Don't worry, he is a part of UA"
Rock and roll motherhumpers!
I met up with Babla on stage, he was preparing for the shit which would make the STB guys believers. All this was fine, after all I did go to see my friends play, however we must not forget its STB and where there is STB there is bound to be madness and babali.
So the first thing I see, apart from our glorious buildings and that massive field of ours, was gold hair, yes , Gold fucking colored hair , guys had bleached their hair, put on sun glasses when it was 7 in the evening and it was pitch black. Somethings just wont change, as soon as we enter we hear the patented abuses about mothers fathers and all. The new thing which I saw was the presence of a lot of cars and those cars weren't of the people performing but rather of the boys out here to impress the chicks with their money, guys wearing white suits also littered the place. Financial meltdown? fuck no.
Lets not forget to mention the sound people, now I was one of the few privileged people to stand on a platform with the sound console and all, so there were pros manning the sound , making the acoustics and reverb and all that shit work well, we had this guy with his laptop recording the entire show and then we had the guy on lights. Now this guy was a pro I believe but he was from school, so it was quite freaky to see him play around on the lights console thinking he is Dj Tiesto or that chinese bloke form Linkin Park who would play with the samplers. I take a closer look and that fag is moving about like he is on fire and is playing the gig of his life, he had this assistant also acting like this guy was actually doing some shit but all he was doing was headbanging and moving his fingers on switches which he was not moving or touching. Impress the maagis? He tries.
Then the show starts and the crowd are rapturous, the guys are belting out their hindi numbers since we must remember STB don't do english, hindi is what they know and are receptive to. So receptive that a guy jumps on stage and dances his arse off only for one of the UA staff to push him off stage, while the song is on, then starts the madness
"Bhai ko dhakka kyu maara?" and this group of students are now ganging up on the bloke who tried to make sure nothing bad happened, song had to be stopped the people had to be separated by the members of the band, see, you can't change STB, no matter how many changes you make to the principal or how you govern it. Made me feel so warm inside, nothing has changed.
The last few minutes were us walking around the many corridors and classrooms we frequented so many times, it was seriously a brilliant moment, no teachers, just 5 guys walking around the classrooms , buildings and running about like mad people on the field.
For 2 hours at least I was not a person who is supposed to start working for a firm in a few months, rather it felt like I had started my schooling life all over again only that it began in STB and I was with my best friends, not being gay , just wish those days lasted a bit more, college life has nothing on school life.
STB all the way.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Fast cars, beautiful women and Maagas
Salt Lake is one crazy place, especially Sector 5, the hub of IT companies, colleges and basically a population whose average age would be somewhere around the mid 20's. Its not a wow factor to say that there are many hot women here all either studying or working in said organizations, so where there are women there must be maagas. Lets take the case of the auto drivers in the area who should only allow like 3 people to sit in the auto make sure there are around 6, also making sure the women sit right beside him although there seems to be no space available to em they just make it happen.
So back to this incident, normally I return home in a shuttle/pool car/carpool etc, its basically boiled down to a choice of either stuffing yourself in a Maruti Omni, a shit van which runs on LPG and most are in shit conditions, 6 people sit in the back facing one another and one sits next to the driver. This car is the "legal" illegal pool car (don't ask this is a long story).
The other options range from a AC bus, which you rarely get to Innovas,Sumos and Indicas, which all charge less than the Omni but the Omni has a greater number of cars so its a bit of a tough choice to make, I found an Omni and decided to get in as I wanted to get home ASAP.
Now I was sitting next to one of the sliding doors and 3 other men were also seated, then this lady comes and wants to sit near the other sliding door as she fears about molestation and the like, I don't blame her, things like that do happen, but she fights with the other men and finally gets her wish.
Blabbering on the phone, this lady, decent enough for a bang tells the guy sitting next to him to "Close the door", the man does not think twice since he was gaping at the lady and slams the door, I am listening to music and then I hear shrieks and screams, the lady is screaming, "My fingers, my fingers", fucking chutia lady had rested her hand right on the ridge where the closes, and idiot man decided to shut the door on it as he was too busy gawking at chutia lady.
The driver stops the car immediately, the door is opened and I fear that the lady must have had some parts of her finger chopped off , my fear is justified when I see this other guy jump out of the car and starts searching for something.
I think to myself "Oh Fuck it, she lost some fingers, bloody hell"
The man comes back into the car , he went out to get his mobile and the mobile was safe even though it was run over by a bus, the lady's fingers were fine as well, just a little sore. Now this story would seem a little tragic, so the guy who slammed the door is apologizing profusely to her and asking her how is she and how are her fingers.
The other people give her advice from warm water to ice being applied on the fingers, the lady seems alright now, even taking part of the blame for putting her hand near the door. So for the rest of the journey, Maaga man, AKA Idiot Man AKA the guy who slammed the door, is hitting like hell on the lady, it was so obvious, I wanted to throw up in the car.
The lady is also continuously chatting with the guy and it seems they have hit it off, oh glory for us all, we are seeing a match being made. Right before we reach our destination the guy decides to kick it up and says
"I am sure, aapke ghar mein (at your home), someone is upset and saying 'Who hurt my daughter?' he is a kamina, like your mom " [yes he did use this line on her, to check if she had a bf or not"
Without missing a beat the lady replies
"Mummy toh nahi but Saas zaroor bolegi" (Maybe not mom but my mother in law would say this)
Snap!
The guy's smile just turned into a frown and I could not stop laughing, I laughed so hard at the poor sod, he didn't say anything more to the lady.
This just proves two things
1:Women are sad who try to take advantage of sods
2:Men are maagas who will hit on women, any woman.
BTW, these 2 things just prove a couple of my laws.
So back to this incident, normally I return home in a shuttle/pool car/carpool etc, its basically boiled down to a choice of either stuffing yourself in a Maruti Omni, a shit van which runs on LPG and most are in shit conditions, 6 people sit in the back facing one another and one sits next to the driver. This car is the "legal" illegal pool car (don't ask this is a long story).
The other options range from a AC bus, which you rarely get to Innovas,Sumos and Indicas, which all charge less than the Omni but the Omni has a greater number of cars so its a bit of a tough choice to make, I found an Omni and decided to get in as I wanted to get home ASAP.
Now I was sitting next to one of the sliding doors and 3 other men were also seated, then this lady comes and wants to sit near the other sliding door as she fears about molestation and the like, I don't blame her, things like that do happen, but she fights with the other men and finally gets her wish.
Blabbering on the phone, this lady, decent enough for a bang tells the guy sitting next to him to "Close the door", the man does not think twice since he was gaping at the lady and slams the door, I am listening to music and then I hear shrieks and screams, the lady is screaming, "My fingers, my fingers", fucking chutia lady had rested her hand right on the ridge where the closes, and idiot man decided to shut the door on it as he was too busy gawking at chutia lady.
The driver stops the car immediately, the door is opened and I fear that the lady must have had some parts of her finger chopped off , my fear is justified when I see this other guy jump out of the car and starts searching for something.
I think to myself "Oh Fuck it, she lost some fingers, bloody hell"
The man comes back into the car , he went out to get his mobile and the mobile was safe even though it was run over by a bus, the lady's fingers were fine as well, just a little sore. Now this story would seem a little tragic, so the guy who slammed the door is apologizing profusely to her and asking her how is she and how are her fingers.
The other people give her advice from warm water to ice being applied on the fingers, the lady seems alright now, even taking part of the blame for putting her hand near the door. So for the rest of the journey, Maaga man, AKA Idiot Man AKA the guy who slammed the door, is hitting like hell on the lady, it was so obvious, I wanted to throw up in the car.
The lady is also continuously chatting with the guy and it seems they have hit it off, oh glory for us all, we are seeing a match being made. Right before we reach our destination the guy decides to kick it up and says
"I am sure, aapke ghar mein (at your home), someone is upset and saying 'Who hurt my daughter?' he is a kamina, like your mom " [yes he did use this line on her, to check if she had a bf or not"
Without missing a beat the lady replies
"Mummy toh nahi but Saas zaroor bolegi" (Maybe not mom but my mother in law would say this)
Snap!
The guy's smile just turned into a frown and I could not stop laughing, I laughed so hard at the poor sod, he didn't say anything more to the lady.
This just proves two things
1:Women are sad who try to take advantage of sods
2:Men are maagas who will hit on women, any woman.
BTW, these 2 things just prove a couple of my laws.
4th Law:No matter how beautiful or ugly a girl is,no matter what the
place or situation is,there will always be a maaga to hit on said girl.
1st Law:The total number of problems at any situation is directly proportional to the number of larkis present there.
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