Now i do admit that i never knew what fests were when i was in Dubai,had no freaking idea,this fest thing came full throttle when i came back to calcutta and was in the glorious school whoes name you all should know about,the first fest i did attend was held by the APJ school where adil ,gablu,nagu,babla,afzal and chintoo and i played a couple of songs and won.
Nevertheless i wouldnt attend any fest until and unless i had to do something there,like play in the school band or something,coz ultimately it would get boring and cliched ,plus it would become a collosal waste of my time.
So when me pal rohit called me up on the 5th of december and asked me to come along to a fest i was skeptical to say the least,but since i dont meet me school friends all that much due to most of us being scattered away to different parts of the city and for rohit the country ,i thought what the heck at least the old stb gang will be back,at least a few of us would be.
I was a hell more skeptical about attending the fest cause it was "Umang" ,now for all you noobs like me who dont know jack about fests,this "fest" is probably the biggest in terms of college fests in calcutta,it brings in those MTV splitsvilla and fucking roadies contestants for whom people go ga ga over ,all fucking fake attitude wannabe shit,i hate all that crap,most of me friends hate that crap as well,but i went coz babla was gonna play,adil as well,so it was gonna be a threefor.
So we met at Bhaggu[thats what its called] ,now a little history lesson for all of you,Bhaggu is this college which looks like a housing complex,in the middle of calcutta[my geography aint good so forgive me],where only 2 types of students are allowed,3 types
1:Gujjus
2:Rich snobs
3:People who couldnt get admitted to any other decent college
A few of me pals have studied there and are still studying,so off we went,we met sumitano on the way and before entering the college we were frisked and checked,we saw the real security of the college,most of em were these big intimidating looking guys from the college itself[students] one of em was a kinda school mate of ours Shergil ,you remember him from the maa ka kasam episode,so of course he did meet us talked to us for a while before [and i fucking kid you not] talking and using his "walky talkie" to find out some details etc,i mean come on the college is the size of a housing fucking society how the fuck do you require walky talkies?,nevertheless he was good enough to let us enter a second time without having to go to the back of the line....thats the use of contacts.
We later met babla,gujju ,adil and a few other people who were to play with the guys,babla gujju and a couple of guys played a LP song with a saliva song "king of the stereo" but as usual they had technical difficulties,the performance was brilliant,but the technical snags cost them a lota time,thats the one thing babla has learnt from so many shows
"Umm excuse us,we are facing some technical difficulties,please reset our time,we want to start again"
The other bands were ok ,some were really crap botching up some really good songs,Adil ka band toh sab ko maar dala,playing a medly of RHCP[give it away,californication,dani california] before ripping apart the competition with an original,well that was or at least should be good enough for em to win,i dont know the results yet,but these werent the best parts of the day by any shot.
As soon as babla went on stage,chintoo and i started shouting,along with sumitano "BABLA BABLA BABLA" and since we are former STB students we could shout much more than the netire crowd fo 200-300 people out there,yup just the 3 of us
I chipped in with
"JEET KE AAOGE"
and all that,of course we cheered for Gujju as well,screaming Gujju as loud as we could,no one dared say jack to us even though we were surrounded by the gujju population of calcutta.
One of the best bits started after babla had finished playing and he was in the crowd with us,this freaky hot mc was constantly on the mike asking people to shout out the different sponsors names like Power FM,Y.E.S stationary,Wild Stone perfume and all,we had one simple answer to it all
so
"Can people tell me who are our stationary partners?"
"RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"
"Can you all scream out the name of our radio partners?????"
"RRRRRRAAAAAAAAJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJUUUUUUUUU"
"Can people scream out our hospitality partners?"
"GGGGGUUUUULLLLIIIISSSTAAAAANNNN HHHHHOOOTTTTTEEEEEELLLLLL"
They even had this fashion designer called Kalol chakka Dutta
"who is the special guest of our fashion show????"
"RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAJJJJJJJJJJJUUUUUUUUUUU"
And after each question the lady would throw out chocolates and man people would fight for the chocolates,forturnately sumitano was able to grab a kitkat and we shared it amongst ourselves,the eight of us.
Oh yeah there were parts when people on stage would scream for bhawanipore and we would scream out
"ekbalpore,kidderpore,jamalpara,metiaburuz and sonargachi"
Sumitano even came up with a classic "Carmaker"-karmaker to a chick who sounded him off for the dick he was trying to be,although there were a ton of wannabes and assholes in the entire para,we were the only ones who seemed to enjoy the show,along with a few other mad fucks who wanted to start a moshpit but we couldnt do that coz we are all decent people who dont do jack.....
NOT!
PS:there were a ton of hot chicks present there,but we really didnt give a fuck to any of em,us few guys were having such a blast that all of us later crashed at my place[barring sumitano] and watched a bit of DESHDROHI!
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
Retardos
Now of course you people know about the ton of retards in me school,some of em were really freaky,the studious group often constituted of the gays,and there is this incident when a couple of studiays[thats studious gays] were chatting to one another another,and they had some argument so one gay slapped the fuck out of the other,i think it was sourjo or anirudho who got slapped,now what would a Mard/man do if he got hit,that to way fucking hard,well heaven and hell would open up,the skies would have hailstones falling and wrath would be unleashed on earth,but hell no the chakka decides to poke[like that facebook poke] the other guy and then retorts
"I believe i hit you"
Gay cunt
Then there was August Muni who was actually retarded,once i remember,in fact me pal told me that often Muni would sit in the last bench of the class and play around with his ding dong bell[penis,dick,laura for all of you who dont know what i am talking about] and he would do this regularly
But i must say this,he was the best penalty kick taker in the world,no one could ever guess which way he was gonna go coz he was cock eyed,i kid you not,i dont think anyone ever saved any of his penalties
Of course there was Imrano ronaldo gaynaldo,who thought he was cristiano ronaldo,he certainly got that gay persona perfectly in college though,i remember chatting with him in class 10 when he said that if he would do well in these board exams his dad would take him to,again i kid you not,manchester and he would try out and get into the MANU U-17 team and would play for em,that dream changed and he then wanted to go to Anderlecht in Belgium coz it was a sister club of MANU,that didnt happen also,
Imrano's greatest joke of course was that regarding Mr Forran,a teacher with whom we played a lotta football during thw winter vacations in out school,everyday at 6 AM we would go to the field to play,one such saturday chintoo and i reached the field and no one was there barring imrano who told us that
"Mr Forran has gone to Canada......he wont come back"
A few weeks later school opened and funnily enough we saw Mr Forran walking around
we went to him and asked him
"Sir we heard you had gone to Canada....how come you are here back"
Forran replied
"Who told you this?
That imran gadwa right,bloody fool has been telling everyone i have gone to Canada,i bloody told him i was going to Kerela"
That of course wasnt the only time we made fun of our dear imrano
as probably the greatest 2 liner ever made by any student in STB,here it goes
"Imran gaya kathmandu,imran gaya kathmandu
sab usko dekh kar bol....GANDU GANDU GANDU"
"I believe i hit you"
Gay cunt
Then there was August Muni who was actually retarded,once i remember,in fact me pal told me that often Muni would sit in the last bench of the class and play around with his ding dong bell[penis,dick,laura for all of you who dont know what i am talking about] and he would do this regularly
But i must say this,he was the best penalty kick taker in the world,no one could ever guess which way he was gonna go coz he was cock eyed,i kid you not,i dont think anyone ever saved any of his penalties
Of course there was Imrano ronaldo gaynaldo,who thought he was cristiano ronaldo,he certainly got that gay persona perfectly in college though,i remember chatting with him in class 10 when he said that if he would do well in these board exams his dad would take him to,again i kid you not,manchester and he would try out and get into the MANU U-17 team and would play for em,that dream changed and he then wanted to go to Anderlecht in Belgium coz it was a sister club of MANU,that didnt happen also,
Imrano's greatest joke of course was that regarding Mr Forran,a teacher with whom we played a lotta football during thw winter vacations in out school,everyday at 6 AM we would go to the field to play,one such saturday chintoo and i reached the field and no one was there barring imrano who told us that
"Mr Forran has gone to Canada......he wont come back"
A few weeks later school opened and funnily enough we saw Mr Forran walking around
we went to him and asked him
"Sir we heard you had gone to Canada....how come you are here back"
Forran replied
"Who told you this?
That imran gadwa right,bloody fool has been telling everyone i have gone to Canada,i bloody told him i was going to Kerela"
That of course wasnt the only time we made fun of our dear imrano
as probably the greatest 2 liner ever made by any student in STB,here it goes
"Imran gaya kathmandu,imran gaya kathmandu
sab usko dekh kar bol....GANDU GANDU GANDU"
Monday, November 16, 2009
Check this out
No time to talk crap
a simple yet effective post
check out india's new superhero
HIRAMANEK
My 2nd Blog!
http://hiramanek.blogspot.com/
a simple yet effective post
check out india's new superhero
HIRAMANEK
My 2nd Blog!
http://hiramanek.blogspot.com/
Monday, November 9, 2009
The case of the missing shoe
My school is known for all the gundas and criminals from all around the locality,from threatening the cricket team,to starting a fight,to throwing hot
tea at the face of college students,STB were always numero uno in crime.So it should as no surprise that some stealing and looting often occured in school from mobiles to pens to even notebooks to text books ,you leave all your stuff behind at your own peril.
So again it should come as nothing new that i was also the victim of a criminal activity,which turned out to be he stupidity of an asshole.
As i said a lot of things would often at me school and since we were the science students we often had to visit the labs,physics,chemistry,biology and computer labs were all used exclusively by us,the 3 science labs were ok but the computer lab had this one quirky rule that whoever would enter would have to take off their shoes,fro some freaking reason the teachers were allowed to wear shoes in the lab but not us,so we had to leave the shoes on a rack outside the lab.
Next to the lab was the class of 12 E,the most notorious sons of guns in our school,they would fight,abuse and tr to beat up not only themselves but the teachers as well,they locked up a teacher and made him see a porno as well.We had like a hour of computer lab classes once a week and whenever we would come out of the class the shoes would magically dissappear,they wouldnt be on the racks but "mysteriously" they would be found beneath the staircase all in a heap.Fucking class 12 E assholes would throw em everytime they had a chance.That was stlll fine but a few weeks after that a fatter pal of mine came up to me after the computer class as he couldnt find his shoes,the dumb sons of bitches stole his pair of shoes.Size 9 they were i remember and since he was a bengali he wa in fear of returning home without his shoes,but he had to face the
brunt of walking to his bus without shoes ,only in socks.
He did have to ultimately buy a new pair but a few weeks later i was the next victim,as i came out of the lab and me pals were putting on their shoes,i couldnt find my pair ,frantically i searched every nook and corner of the floor ,even below the staircase but it wasnt to be found,and as usual my computer teachers were of no help at all,saying they cant help me at all, and that i should have been more careful wilth my belongings
Me pal rohit[chintoo] and i were searching all over and i was made to walk back to me class on socks when sumitano dickhead comes running over to me and tells me
"Hey Adeem remember Abhijeet sur[the guy whos shoes were stolen previously"
"yeah i remember that fat ass"
"Well you better catch him fast coz i saw him grabbing a pair of shoes from the rack and he kept it in his bag"
So off we went followed by an angry mob of 5 because i was fucking pissed off at walking almost 200-300 metres without my shoes,he was fortunately standing next to the triangle island we had near our building and since it was recess he didnt go off to class.
So i confronted him
"Hey Suar why did you take my shoes"
Sur:"I didnt take your shoes ,these are my shoes"
Me:"From where the fuck did you find em"
Sur:"I found em at the shoe rack,these are my shoes which i lost a few weeks back"
Rohit:"How the fuck do you know these are your shoes?"
Sur:"Coz they are size 9"
Thats when we all blew our fuses,what the fuck is he the only person in the world who has size 9 shoes,look at the fucktards audacity to not only steal a pair,keep em in his bag but also expect that no one else would have size 9 shoes fucking asshole
Nevertheless he did have to return my pair of shoes back ,he did realise his mistake after we threatened his ass off,but i did feel his pain though i didnt have to walk a lot of distance without his shoes,you could say i did walk 300 metres in his shoes.
tea at the face of college students,STB were always numero uno in crime.So it should as no surprise that some stealing and looting often occured in school from mobiles to pens to even notebooks to text books ,you leave all your stuff behind at your own peril.
So again it should come as nothing new that i was also the victim of a criminal activity,which turned out to be he stupidity of an asshole.
As i said a lot of things would often at me school and since we were the science students we often had to visit the labs,physics,chemistry,biology and computer labs were all used exclusively by us,the 3 science labs were ok but the computer lab had this one quirky rule that whoever would enter would have to take off their shoes,fro some freaking reason the teachers were allowed to wear shoes in the lab but not us,so we had to leave the shoes on a rack outside the lab.
Next to the lab was the class of 12 E,the most notorious sons of guns in our school,they would fight,abuse and tr to beat up not only themselves but the teachers as well,they locked up a teacher and made him see a porno as well.We had like a hour of computer lab classes once a week and whenever we would come out of the class the shoes would magically dissappear,they wouldnt be on the racks but "mysteriously" they would be found beneath the staircase all in a heap.Fucking class 12 E assholes would throw em everytime they had a chance.That was stlll fine but a few weeks after that a fatter pal of mine came up to me after the computer class as he couldnt find his shoes,the dumb sons of bitches stole his pair of shoes.Size 9 they were i remember and since he was a bengali he wa in fear of returning home without his shoes,but he had to face the
brunt of walking to his bus without shoes ,only in socks.
He did have to ultimately buy a new pair but a few weeks later i was the next victim,as i came out of the lab and me pals were putting on their shoes,i couldnt find my pair ,frantically i searched every nook and corner of the floor ,even below the staircase but it wasnt to be found,and as usual my computer teachers were of no help at all,saying they cant help me at all, and that i should have been more careful wilth my belongings
Me pal rohit[chintoo] and i were searching all over and i was made to walk back to me class on socks when sumitano dickhead comes running over to me and tells me
"Hey Adeem remember Abhijeet sur[the guy whos shoes were stolen previously"
"yeah i remember that fat ass"
"Well you better catch him fast coz i saw him grabbing a pair of shoes from the rack and he kept it in his bag"
So off we went followed by an angry mob of 5 because i was fucking pissed off at walking almost 200-300 metres without my shoes,he was fortunately standing next to the triangle island we had near our building and since it was recess he didnt go off to class.
So i confronted him
"Hey Suar why did you take my shoes"
Sur:"I didnt take your shoes ,these are my shoes"
Me:"From where the fuck did you find em"
Sur:"I found em at the shoe rack,these are my shoes which i lost a few weeks back"
Rohit:"How the fuck do you know these are your shoes?"
Sur:"Coz they are size 9"
Thats when we all blew our fuses,what the fuck is he the only person in the world who has size 9 shoes,look at the fucktards audacity to not only steal a pair,keep em in his bag but also expect that no one else would have size 9 shoes fucking asshole
Nevertheless he did have to return my pair of shoes back ,he did realise his mistake after we threatened his ass off,but i did feel his pain though i didnt have to walk a lot of distance without his shoes,you could say i did walk 300 metres in his shoes.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Eina
This is a real emotional post by me so please for the sake of goodness dont post any derogatory comments and all.
My dear Grandma passed away on the saturday of diwali and i have to say this is the most painful experience i have ever been through.She was one of the few people who loved me unconditionally,always keeping tabs on me,asking about me no matter who she talked with or where she went.
She was an amazing soul ,probably the only person who wouldnt curse anybody,not even people who have been cruel and uncaring towards her.She had a lot of pain because of the treatment she would get from certain members of the family but she never said a thing about em even behind the backs of those people.
Everyone loved her,she was one of the most joyous people i knew,even after having a lot of pain both physical and mental she wouldnt let the smile go off her face.
She was a proper foodie always loved having food,especially sweets.
Thank you Grandma for all those beautiful memories and the years spent with you were some of the best i have lived,you were taken away from us much earlier than expected,you are in a better place for sure.You will never be forgotten "eina".
My dear Grandma passed away on the saturday of diwali and i have to say this is the most painful experience i have ever been through.She was one of the few people who loved me unconditionally,always keeping tabs on me,asking about me no matter who she talked with or where she went.
She was an amazing soul ,probably the only person who wouldnt curse anybody,not even people who have been cruel and uncaring towards her.She had a lot of pain because of the treatment she would get from certain members of the family but she never said a thing about em even behind the backs of those people.
Everyone loved her,she was one of the most joyous people i knew,even after having a lot of pain both physical and mental she wouldnt let the smile go off her face.
She was a proper foodie always loved having food,especially sweets.
Thank you Grandma for all those beautiful memories and the years spent with you were some of the best i have lived,you were taken away from us much earlier than expected,you are in a better place for sure.You will never be forgotten "eina".
Monday, October 12, 2009
Training Day
The movie of the same name was and still is one of the best movies i have seen to date which isnt a crude comedy[ala borat,bruno etc],infact it was so good that Denzel Washington got an Oscar for it,so it is a must see for people.Moving on ,this post obviously aint about a movie but about the fact that my "training" was about to commence,my college had set up some training thingy for al us BCA students with the help of HP[Hewlett Packard].Most of the bengalis were excited barring me and a few non bongs coz well at least i didnt want to travel half way across Calcutta for some shit hole training which i wouldnt be able to use at all in my life.
So the first thing to do was to decide what subjects training we would take,we had 2 choices Dot net and Java,as usual Sanket wanted to take Java for some God forsaken reason which i cannot remember,the majority wanted to take Dot net so you all know where i would go,and when almost everyone who Sanket knew opted for Dotnet he did the same.We had to go to this place in Karunamoyee near CK market to get the registration done and all.This was done in one day and this of course wasnt the part which got me oh so pissed that i had to post a blog bout it.
Most of us had to join some shitty Yahoo group so that we could get emails regarding all the information of training jobs etc provided by our college,now i dont check my email at all,maybe if i am bored to death i do but otherwise i done,so it was someone else who told me that our dates have been decided for the training i think it was Nikhil,i did get the mail from Nikita which in itself was a problem coz she wasnt in Calcutta at the time,fair enough i saw that my group,nikhil sandeep and i were all in D1 whose timings were as follows
Tuesday :4:30 Pm-6:30 Pm
Friday and Wednesday :9 Am-11 Am
Also written in the email was that training was to commence from the 7th of october
The 7th turned out to be a wednesday so off we went,the 3 amigos of college ,Sandy,nikh paji and the freak show[me],we reached the place at just the right time at 8:55 and entered the room where we were asked to come to,a lot of the students were seated eagerly waiting for something to happen,the 3 of us sat at the back as usual and were making stupid comments,cracking jokes the stuff we normally do,time was passing by 10 mins,20 mins,30 mins,passed,it became 10 Am then the door opened a bloke came in ,slammed a duster on the white board and left,
"Yay.....Magic" we screamed coz the duster wasnt coming off the board at all,stuck like your finger on the mouse when searching for porno,it became 10:15 then a lady came in [HOT PETITE CHICK!] and she said
"Sorry but you dont have class today......your timings have changed....its on saturday monday and tuesday from 2 Pm-4Pm"
WAIT WHAT?
I fucking woke up at 6 in the morning ,i went off to bed at 2 at nite,4 fucking hours of sleep and i had to fucking crap and eat my breakfast before 7 for some douche training,not only that i travelled half way across calcutta in the fucking morning takin me 1 hour to reach this douche place after which i had to walk around 15 mins to reach the fucking training centre and now oh miss pompous comes and tells us we DONT HAVE FUCKING TRAINING.
She then told us the timings had changed and that in anyway the training was to commence from Thursday and not from wednesday,pissed off as we were,we could not do anything but abuse[which as usual is my speciality],i reached home really pissed and all,but at least the timing was a little better and i would get the car for the duration of training,on the same day as soon as i reached home i got a message from Nikhil saying that the timing for training has changed ONCE AGAIN,now my training was only on Saturday from 9-4.....
Son of a bitch what the fuck is that timing?
I cant stay awake for more than 5 hours ,how the fuck am i gonna take this shit anyways?.Then sanket calls and tells me that he wont be goin for training at all coz its not important and that no one is gonna come to the first saturday of training[although this bugger had done 2 days of training already] i said i hadnt decided whether to go or not......he says that the instructor is a gujju[like him] who could be a relative and that it wasnt important ,he had asked the gujju whether we should come or not,nevertheless i did go on saturday again,sanket also did come even though he was hell bent on not coming.
Saturday comes again the same morning shit,again the same distance,again the same unprofessionalism ,we reached the college[now training was to commence there] but the lab where out training is to be is closed,we wait and wait and wait and we get the news that the HP trainers have also come but they dont have the keys to open the labs,the computer science department of our college does and they dont come to college before 10 AM,we reached college at 9 FUCK
When the labs were opened we got the petite teacher who came and told us
"you are going to have a test now,we want to gauge how much you know"
Fuck again i dont know jack bout anything in BCA its just by luck that i get 7.8 all the time,but then she also tells us that we can discuss and then write the answers,well our discussion [sandy nihk and mine] went from Object oriented programming to abusing bongs,abusing college,abusing the teachers,talking bout sex,talking bout chicks with large tits and how a petite chick is not what sandy likes at all.
The teach also told us that after the exam we were free to go and that there would not be any training today at all,so i went all the way just for some shit hole exam even where my attendance was not counted.
And people say that office goers arent punctual and are lazy,well so are the trainers and the whole fucking corporate structure,the only silver lining
out of all this is that the petite teacher is the only reason i am even contemplating attending the shit hole training.
FINGERS CROSSED
So the first thing to do was to decide what subjects training we would take,we had 2 choices Dot net and Java,as usual Sanket wanted to take Java for some God forsaken reason which i cannot remember,the majority wanted to take Dot net so you all know where i would go,and when almost everyone who Sanket knew opted for Dotnet he did the same.We had to go to this place in Karunamoyee near CK market to get the registration done and all.This was done in one day and this of course wasnt the part which got me oh so pissed that i had to post a blog bout it.
Most of us had to join some shitty Yahoo group so that we could get emails regarding all the information of training jobs etc provided by our college,now i dont check my email at all,maybe if i am bored to death i do but otherwise i done,so it was someone else who told me that our dates have been decided for the training i think it was Nikhil,i did get the mail from Nikita which in itself was a problem coz she wasnt in Calcutta at the time,fair enough i saw that my group,nikhil sandeep and i were all in D1 whose timings were as follows
Tuesday :4:30 Pm-6:30 Pm
Friday and Wednesday :9 Am-11 Am
Also written in the email was that training was to commence from the 7th of october
The 7th turned out to be a wednesday so off we went,the 3 amigos of college ,Sandy,nikh paji and the freak show[me],we reached the place at just the right time at 8:55 and entered the room where we were asked to come to,a lot of the students were seated eagerly waiting for something to happen,the 3 of us sat at the back as usual and were making stupid comments,cracking jokes the stuff we normally do,time was passing by 10 mins,20 mins,30 mins,passed,it became 10 Am then the door opened a bloke came in ,slammed a duster on the white board and left,
"Yay.....Magic" we screamed coz the duster wasnt coming off the board at all,stuck like your finger on the mouse when searching for porno,it became 10:15 then a lady came in [HOT PETITE CHICK!] and she said
"Sorry but you dont have class today......your timings have changed....its on saturday monday and tuesday from 2 Pm-4Pm"
WAIT WHAT?
I fucking woke up at 6 in the morning ,i went off to bed at 2 at nite,4 fucking hours of sleep and i had to fucking crap and eat my breakfast before 7 for some douche training,not only that i travelled half way across calcutta in the fucking morning takin me 1 hour to reach this douche place after which i had to walk around 15 mins to reach the fucking training centre and now oh miss pompous comes and tells us we DONT HAVE FUCKING TRAINING.
She then told us the timings had changed and that in anyway the training was to commence from Thursday and not from wednesday,pissed off as we were,we could not do anything but abuse[which as usual is my speciality],i reached home really pissed and all,but at least the timing was a little better and i would get the car for the duration of training,on the same day as soon as i reached home i got a message from Nikhil saying that the timing for training has changed ONCE AGAIN,now my training was only on Saturday from 9-4.....
Son of a bitch what the fuck is that timing?
I cant stay awake for more than 5 hours ,how the fuck am i gonna take this shit anyways?.Then sanket calls and tells me that he wont be goin for training at all coz its not important and that no one is gonna come to the first saturday of training[although this bugger had done 2 days of training already] i said i hadnt decided whether to go or not......he says that the instructor is a gujju[like him] who could be a relative and that it wasnt important ,he had asked the gujju whether we should come or not,nevertheless i did go on saturday again,sanket also did come even though he was hell bent on not coming.
Saturday comes again the same morning shit,again the same distance,again the same unprofessionalism ,we reached the college[now training was to commence there] but the lab where out training is to be is closed,we wait and wait and wait and we get the news that the HP trainers have also come but they dont have the keys to open the labs,the computer science department of our college does and they dont come to college before 10 AM,we reached college at 9 FUCK
When the labs were opened we got the petite teacher who came and told us
"you are going to have a test now,we want to gauge how much you know"
Fuck again i dont know jack bout anything in BCA its just by luck that i get 7.8 all the time,but then she also tells us that we can discuss and then write the answers,well our discussion [sandy nihk and mine] went from Object oriented programming to abusing bongs,abusing college,abusing the teachers,talking bout sex,talking bout chicks with large tits and how a petite chick is not what sandy likes at all.
The teach also told us that after the exam we were free to go and that there would not be any training today at all,so i went all the way just for some shit hole exam even where my attendance was not counted.
And people say that office goers arent punctual and are lazy,well so are the trainers and the whole fucking corporate structure,the only silver lining
out of all this is that the petite teacher is the only reason i am even contemplating attending the shit hole training.
FINGERS CROSSED
Thursday, October 8, 2009
My name Jaki Kabir
St Thomas' is like a goldmine for a diverse range of students,we had the gays,we had the straights,we had the bisexuals,we had the comedians,we had the abusers,we had the quite folk,we had the geeks, we had the nerds,we had the losers,we had those perfect people,we had the jocks,we had the cocks,we had it all cept of course females coz its an all boys school and of course we had the good old
fashioned freaks of nature.
The first few pals i made in the school turned out to be the freakiest bunch ever,one guy became a drug addict in fact two of em are hardcore drug addicts ,another is an alcoholic,but no one takes the cake like my good friend Zaki Kabir does,i mean he is so freaky you dont even need to get him drunk to watch him in full flowing action.
Built like a typical tough guy ,the only reason people didnt consider him tough was coz he was way short,i mean not very short but if you are shorter than me i will pick on you every single day of your life,the dude did have a good set of muscles and all that.A decent enough sportsperson and all around complete retard.
He would often come to my class,during recess,just to see us,most of his good friends were in science and he was in commerce,or he would come just to fuck around i dont know,and all off a sudden he would just start singing any romantic song is his loud booming voice for no reason,i cant remember which songs but for sure some SRK movie songs,and as ever present there would be one guy sitting on
a desk oblivious to what is going on ,he would not even be part of the group or even the conversation but as soon as he would hear some music on ,boom he would start banging on the desk ,keeping a set rhythm while Zaki would keep on singing one song after another,fucking medley.
Then of course since he was an STB student ,he was always on the verge of starting a fight,often his singing would lead to a build up to a fight ,but we knew the drill he would never fight ,he just wanted to show he wasnt fazed or scared of no one,still we would play the part of peace maker,holding back the 2 people who wanted to "rip" each other to shreds
"Nahi bhai chorr de woh bachcha hai"
"Kya Zaki chor na yaar sala har din ladhai kyu karta hain?"
The greatest hits collection of Zaki constitute of some of his craziness and absolute stupidity,for example one day we were waiting to cross the road,now if you people dont know Calcutta is notorious for hit and runs,especially by buses,and so we all are waiting for a bus to pass,the bus had slowed down to let off some passengers and was reving up to accelerate when
BOOOOOOM!......BOOOOM!
two fucking huge hits from his hand to the bus drivers entrance,and the bus stops in its tracks,the bus driver is flummoxed
Zaki:AAAAAEEEEEEE RUUUUUK RUUUUUUK .......
and he crosses unfaced ,while we scamper to cross the street,we were just gald the driver didnt step on the accelerator and run over the bloke but i guess Zaki could have stopped that also.
In class 10 he was the moniter of the class,trying to keep the class disciplined in STB is no easy job i can assure you of that,but Zaki would try his level best and as usual when the ruckus would be too loud and uncontrollable up would step the great leader of the masses,bang his hand on the teachers desk
shout out
"IF ANY BODY WILL TALK I WILL HIT YOU[pointing to babla]"
Babla:arrey hum kya kiya ,humko kyu marega?
and of course when a teacher would come to class ,Zaki would shout out
"Whole the class stand up"
yes we can....and we will.....
But the blokes greatest one liner still remains an amazing memory and this would happen on a regular basis,this conversation
Me:Achcha Zaki tum toh STB mein 12 saal se par rahe ho
Zaki:ha yes ha
Me:STB english medium school hain na bhai
Zaki:ha hain
Me:Achca toh tum 5 line english ka bol do without errors aur main maan jaoonga ke tum english jaante ho
Zaki:Theek hai Adeem......My name Jaki Kabir.....
WRONG!
The first fucking line is wrong and he had been in the school from class 1 right upto 12 and the guy couldnt speak one straight line of english,and the worst bit is that everytime,everyday i would ask him this question his response would be the same
MY NAME JAKI KABIR
MY NAME JAKI KABIR
fashioned freaks of nature.
The first few pals i made in the school turned out to be the freakiest bunch ever,one guy became a drug addict in fact two of em are hardcore drug addicts ,another is an alcoholic,but no one takes the cake like my good friend Zaki Kabir does,i mean he is so freaky you dont even need to get him drunk to watch him in full flowing action.
Built like a typical tough guy ,the only reason people didnt consider him tough was coz he was way short,i mean not very short but if you are shorter than me i will pick on you every single day of your life,the dude did have a good set of muscles and all that.A decent enough sportsperson and all around complete retard.
He would often come to my class,during recess,just to see us,most of his good friends were in science and he was in commerce,or he would come just to fuck around i dont know,and all off a sudden he would just start singing any romantic song is his loud booming voice for no reason,i cant remember which songs but for sure some SRK movie songs,and as ever present there would be one guy sitting on
a desk oblivious to what is going on ,he would not even be part of the group or even the conversation but as soon as he would hear some music on ,boom he would start banging on the desk ,keeping a set rhythm while Zaki would keep on singing one song after another,fucking medley.
Then of course since he was an STB student ,he was always on the verge of starting a fight,often his singing would lead to a build up to a fight ,but we knew the drill he would never fight ,he just wanted to show he wasnt fazed or scared of no one,still we would play the part of peace maker,holding back the 2 people who wanted to "rip" each other to shreds
"Nahi bhai chorr de woh bachcha hai"
"Kya Zaki chor na yaar sala har din ladhai kyu karta hain?"
The greatest hits collection of Zaki constitute of some of his craziness and absolute stupidity,for example one day we were waiting to cross the road,now if you people dont know Calcutta is notorious for hit and runs,especially by buses,and so we all are waiting for a bus to pass,the bus had slowed down to let off some passengers and was reving up to accelerate when
BOOOOOOM!......BOOOOM!
two fucking huge hits from his hand to the bus drivers entrance,and the bus stops in its tracks,the bus driver is flummoxed
Zaki:AAAAAEEEEEEE RUUUUUK RUUUUUUK .......
and he crosses unfaced ,while we scamper to cross the street,we were just gald the driver didnt step on the accelerator and run over the bloke but i guess Zaki could have stopped that also.
In class 10 he was the moniter of the class,trying to keep the class disciplined in STB is no easy job i can assure you of that,but Zaki would try his level best and as usual when the ruckus would be too loud and uncontrollable up would step the great leader of the masses,bang his hand on the teachers desk
shout out
"IF ANY BODY WILL TALK I WILL HIT YOU[pointing to babla]"
Babla:arrey hum kya kiya ,humko kyu marega?
and of course when a teacher would come to class ,Zaki would shout out
"Whole the class stand up"
yes we can....and we will.....
But the blokes greatest one liner still remains an amazing memory and this would happen on a regular basis,this conversation
Me:Achcha Zaki tum toh STB mein 12 saal se par rahe ho
Zaki:ha yes ha
Me:STB english medium school hain na bhai
Zaki:ha hain
Me:Achca toh tum 5 line english ka bol do without errors aur main maan jaoonga ke tum english jaante ho
Zaki:Theek hai Adeem......My name Jaki Kabir.....
WRONG!
The first fucking line is wrong and he had been in the school from class 1 right upto 12 and the guy couldnt speak one straight line of english,and the worst bit is that everytime,everyday i would ask him this question his response would be the same
MY NAME JAKI KABIR
MY NAME JAKI KABIR
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