Wednesday, August 7, 2013

What to do with a Suarez?

Another transfer window, another long drawn saga which could have been taken care off a month back had someone just iterated that wants to leave England and move to another country. However Mr. Suarez cannot keep his mouth shut so instead of vilifying the media for their constant attacks on him, he goes up to one of the papers to tell them about his sad story of how Liverpool have held him captive like a POW and not letting him make his dream move (again) to a Club in the Champions League. No disrespect to Arsenal but going to a Madrid, Barca or even a PSG makes more sense than staying in England where the fans had hurled so much abuse at Suarez and his family that he was contemplating moving to another country.

FYI Suarez, London is still a part of England and people will still target you there. He seems to have forgotten the tough times he gave all Liverpool fans and the club with his "racism" and "biting" incident, oh well that is a lesson we all have already learned in football. No loyalty left, so what do you do with a Suarez in your club wanting to move to a Champions League team?

Here we go

1: Sell him to PSG or Monaco

2: Loan him to Agent Rafa and his Napoli team (UCL and a pretty decent outfit)

3: Loan him to a club which is in the Champs league but willsurely get knocked out inthe group stage and bring him back to Liverpool for the 2nd half of the season.

4: Sell him to Celtic, hey he is out of England and in a CLub in the Champs League

5: Let him rot in the reserves and let him play only reserve fixtures

6: Make him leader of the Chewbaccas

7 : Lock him in the Big Brother house with Patrice Evra

8: Tell Daniel Agger what a Judas he is to become and watch the Dane elbow Suarez into obscurity

9 : Send him to an I League club (Indian league, just for the fun of it and so that he understands how much better he has it currently)

10: Take him back to the enchanted forest where he came from and find the witch that made him look like an elf.

Of course he hasn't left the club yet but it does seem he is about to go. Thanks for nothing Luis and hope you find a club big enough for your ego.

Good Riddance

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Adventure Time!

It's been quite a while since I have gotten this excited over a cartoon, especially one that is currently airing on Cartoon Network or "CN" as it is called now. The good old days of the brilliant toons are long gone. What we have now are those crummy little Japanese cartoons (which probably are good in their own language) dubbed in Hindi. It just does not contain the fun and mystery that most of the original Cartoon Cartoons had. The Powerpuff Girls, Dexter's Lab, Samurai Jack, I am Weasel, Johnny Bravo, Cow and Chicken, The Cramp Twins, oh the list is endless.

So I came across this cartoon "Adventure Time" by a freak accident. I was searching for a ton of new comics to read online, like the Uncanny X Force etc and came across a site which listed "Adventure time 10" as a must read comic. I downloaded the comic (from number 1) and then fell in love with it, downloaded the TV series and its freaking fantastic.

A ton of crazy characters from the Land of Ooo


This is probably the best cartoon I have come across since Foster's home for imaginary friends. The two main protagonists are Jake and Finn, a mr fantastic version of a dog and his friend Finn the human. They live in a world called "The Land of Oooo" which is set in a post apocalyptic era where the Mushroom bombs have already been set off.

The short episodes are both hilarious and dark to an extent dealing with death , magic , love and craziness. The character design is exceptional as well since each and every character is different having a completely different personality, I am only a few episodes into season one and have been hooked onto it. The every bubbly Princes Bubblegum, the Vampiress , The  notorious Ice King, there is too much god damn goodness in just one cartoon.

I thoroughly recommend everyone to watch at least a few episodes to get a feel of what a real cartoon should be like. It's like we are back in the golden era of cartoons from the 90's. This is one adventure that you surely should not miss. 

Thursday, July 11, 2013

The chase for the elusive Magnum

Every once in a while there comes a trial which every mortal must pass. Taste what success feels like and then have it cruelly taken away even though you are just inches from the prize that you seek.

Thanking the Lord above, I have been blessed. Traveling to a lot of destinations means only one thing, stuffing yourself with what you don't get in India. Dubai, Bangkok, London etc, I have been able to taste some of their delicacies and some of their "street" food. "Street" food for me does not necessarily mean the roadside shanty outlets but often them ice cream karts.

On a trip to Phuket, I walked into a small 7 - 11 store and decided to try out an ice cream. A Magnum bar was placed right at the top of the pile in the freezer and not thinking twice I picked it up. At the check out counter the price listed was 25 Bahts, that is a lot of money for a chocbar. 

One bite into the bar and heaven was found on earth. The bar is made of the best damn chocolate coating I have ever tasted and the vanilla ice cream inside is to die for. When I visited Dubai a few months back, the only ice cream I stuffed myself was with em Magnums. They had even come out with an Almond coated variant and a dark chocolate one.

Unfortunately this ice cream is not available in India or so I thought. Outside my complex I found this rare ice cream kart of "Cream Bell". Normally a Walls kart is parked right outside the complex but seeing this kart a few days in a row I decided to try out a Cream Bell. I always take one of them Feast bars so I tried to find the substitute for the same in the Cream Bell chart.

My eyes could not believe it when I saw an ice cream bar named "Maxxum". I thought aloud, it can't be a Magnum, it can't. Priced at 40 bucks, it was a Magnum , well close to it actually but it was friggin awesome. I was chuffed to bits as I walked home after a day in office , ice cream bar in hand and a smile as wide as the grand canyon.

I told my parents about the Maxxum and made it a habit to eat as many Maxxums as I could. Unfortunately since that Maxxum I have not been able to get even close to a damn Cream Bell kart. The kart which used to come in front of my house has stopped coming, even though its the summer and its the perfect time for an ice cream. This may be irritating and frustrating but what really gets my goat is the strategically positioned karts which are littered all across the city.

When I travel back home, I cross no less than 3 karts which are all placed in such a place where the car cannot be parked and I can hop off for an ice cream. Its like I am being taunted and teased into thinking that the ice cream is there but its not for me. Its been 4 days in a row where I have found a damn Cream Bell kart only for the signal to turn green or the kart taking a left while I have to take a right.

Its one thing to not give a man what he wants but its another thing to ensure its right there and still far from one's grasp.

Well played fate, well played.
 

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Knock knock knock

Supernatural. That one show has rekindled my belief in ghosts and well anything even remotely close to "supernatural" elements. Sam and Dean Winchester might have fought hard, brought back the dead, been poisoned from birth by the Devil's blood, been to hell and back and well saved the world from the Apocalypse while constantly beating and outwitting ghosts, vampires, shape shifters, werewolves and demons.

The show is excellence par none and its a marvel , well at least the marvel lasted till the 5th season. I have not been able to go back to the show post the 5th season as you cannot beat the apocalypse and then have one of the brother's back, alive and kicking while the other brother is leading a normal life but enough about one of the best shows ever, readers beware you are in for a scare. Goosebumps, I know.

We have this beautiful cottage hidden in a far off town of Raichak. Its a 2 hour drive from the city and the cottage is in the middle of nowhere, it has a few houses next to it and its in a well guarded complex but in all seriousness its so quiet and peaceful there and so sparsely populated you could count the number of people in a square kilometer on two hands.

Recently we (my parents and my cousin's) took off for Raichak to spent an extended weekend there. We are lucky to have two floors to just freak out there, running around and doing nothing but relaxing and idling away the hours. Luckily we had a brand spanking new LCD TV set there with a Tata Sky HD hooked into it and again fortunately they had the sports package subscriptions (YAY!).

The confederations cup was on and Italy were to play Brazil. Everyone in the house went off to bed , even the caretakers who resided in the adjoining house retired for the night except the football freak within me. Now this TV was set up right next to a few large windows which overlooked this amazing huge garden which was the size of a few tennis courts filled with a lot of foliage and wildlife. The same evening I had seen a couple of large bats flying around and perching themselves on a couple of trees in the garden, vampire , check.

So as the game kicks off, I peer outside through the window and I see nothing but pitch black. The TV room was illuminated quite well and a few lights were reflecting off the window pane. At around 2 in the morning, when its eerily quiet and lifeless everywhere I hear someone knocking on the glass pane of the window.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

In a rhythmic manner, the timing between the knocks were absolutely identical, like a metronome onto which a pianist would play. Scared shit out of my pants, I decide to act tough and trudge on watching the game. Then the next set of knocks come again from the window pain exactly 10 minutes from the first set of knocks ( I was watching the footie game so I had an idea of the time). The brave me first thought "Screw you guys am going to bed" , then for some stupid moronic reason I switched off all the lights in the hall and now only the tv is on with any kind of illumination in this huge house. Maybe the thing outside would not see me if I switched off the lights, idiot.

And then the icing on the cake, exactly 10 minutes later we hear the 6 knocks from hell again
 KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

6 knocks, 3 times, in a space of 20 minutes. 6 6 6, enough of this shit. Switched off the TV and somehow stumbled upstairs into my room. Jumped onto the bed and hid under the blanket , somehow slept and woke up the next morning telling my tale to the rest of the familia there.

While my parents weren't sure of what it was outside, my cousins were sure the place is haunted (since no one actually resides in that house). The caretakers said it could have been a woodpecker ,wait, woodpecker at 2 in the morning  having a pretty decent sense of timing and knows how to count?

Right.

Saturday, June 29, 2013

The MAN!

It's the middle of the night, I have office to go to tomorrow, in all fairness I should have been asleep 3 hours ago but I am still up, waiting, hoping , praying for something to happen. 
The confederations cup, being held in Brazil may not be the biggest tournament to follow but its the biggest thing to have come from the International shores since Euro 2012. The Fed cup is a pre show of sorts before the main event, the 2014 World Cup and one match was especially intriguing.

Italy Vs Spain, a rematch of the Euro 2012 final and I had stayed up just to watch one man or THE MAN play. I am not talking about Xavi or Iniesta or Torres (laugh on), it was all about the Pearl, Andrea Pirlo, a man that defies all logic.

In reality he should have been playing for a smaller club and should have been out from the International team but fuck that this is Andrea Pirlo we are talking about. So what is he is on the wrong side of 30? So what if the champions AC Milan did NOT want him in their team, what does he do? Fuck it, what does he do like a MAN ? Win the League with Rivals Juventus becoming an important , if not the most important player in their system.

It's not all about the football though, the man, the beard, the swagger, the panache. This man , correction this beast just can't also seem to give a fuck to the rest of the world. Cool, calm and collected , doesn't break a sweat. Last night was testament to the Living Legend, taking a penalty in such a tough situation and still having the ability to play it cool, wait for the keeper to make a move and score so calmly, the ball slots into the corner of the net and Casillas can't do a thing.

Ok so Italy lost and Spain play Brazil in what could be an explosive final but me staying up till 3:30 AM in the morning on a working day just speaks volumes about how much respect and affection, that keeps growing for this man. This guy is the man, the champion , the Legend.

Love Live the Beard

Long Live the Pirlo.



 

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Sweeeeeeeet Rice

A bong loves to eat, that would be the true calling for most bongs and none of them can ever give up a chance to eat free food. I might not consider myself a true bong, with all the avoidance for mutton and them fish dishes but I do love to eat, especially if its food I like.

That is why its such a pain to go to a lot of dinners, weddings, parties, the food is often not up to my liking. Earlier I would not eat at all in the vege marwari weddings because, well I need chicken as an item at everymeal. Breakfast, lunch and dinner, a chicken preparation is a must, this can't be done in them vege weddings, now am a bit better. I would only eat the ton of desserts that are presented in them weddings, start off with a ton of their fried stuff, pakoras and all, then swiftly switch on to the plethora of desserts on offer.

Another set of invitations I fear and loathe are the bengali ones, not that I have an issue with bengalis, its just that one of the few things that irks me is a sweet main course. The rice in most of these bengali weddings/invitations ends up being a concoction of "Fried rice dipped in syrup", Its just not palatable for me. People gorge that stuff down while I end up looking like a lost soul searching for a puppy in china. If the rice being sweet enough is not an issue, they try to top it up with a little more "richness", if that is a word. They put all em dry fruits in the rice, so I would be chewing cashew nuts, raisins etc with cooked rice, again a no-no for me, jeez I hate that sweet rice stuff and so I just hate going to any bengali invitation, I end up eating nothing apart from the fried fish (the only fish preparation I would eat, as long as there are no bones in it) and then I have the oh so necessary ice cream at the parties.

Its about time that people learn that sweet rice can be a dessert and not a main course but its the masses that make the rules up and not just one soul, so while you guys enjoy gulping down a ton of sweet rice with that oily mutton preparation at the next wedding, please remember that far away , a lonely boy could not come to the wedding as he could not take in that sweet sweet rice which you guys go gaga for. 

Sunday, March 10, 2013

The aer-o the chocolate throne!

There once was a time where a knight in shining armor would return to his castle after a hard days schooling, learning how to joust hard against the "anti -knights" in the treacherous land where they were made to learn numbers, methods to make them half or somehow , almost using black magic increase the volume. Learn what is inside a human body, learn how to speak, those really were the old gruesome days (days I wish I could go back to), anyways, tired, beaten, sweaty, bruised, tortured, would the soul return in hope for the sweet sweet nectar of the cocoa bean, a chocolate.

Thankfully for the lad, his cold storage compartment was always filled with the stuff, he had found a sweeter , more refined and AERY version of the so called "chocolate", AERO , the chocolate with AIR bubbles in em, and I kid you not, they would actually melt in your mouth.

The knight was always stuffing his gob with this beautiful creature of the Almighty and then one day, while he took his liberty too far, he was made to return to his homeland, where things were still getting a little better, bigger taller castles were coming up, roads were getting laid, the comfort of the cold home was missing not only from his castle but also from the hell that was his "education center", (again this was way back, love to go back to STB)

While adjusting to his new environment, things changed for the lad, he did not speak the Queen's english anymore, now it was only abuses and khisti to make sure he "fit" into the system, chocolate was also forgotten, especially the ones he used to get at his old stomping ground.

Cue 8 years of massive searching for his love, no luck found the poor sodden soul, tired, broken and certainly saddened, the hope for his nectar to be with him again was dying, the Lord taketh so easily what he wanted.

Cursing, how could I not get AERO in India? Someone did answer my prayers, going back to my homeland (Dubai), the knight finally got a chance to stuff his bags,  he had carried a lot of shillings and gold coins to bargain and purchase for his love, THE AERO, lo and behold, his savings from the hard work he had done were all spent on acquiring the sweet sweet chocolate, happy days were here again and he returns triumphant from his conquest but there will come a time when the stock does run out and then the search will begin again, maybe some knight traveling to the  far off land will get the chosen nectar for this knight, for now the AIR in the AERO is king, 

ALL HAIL THE AIR O THE CHOCOLATE THRONE!!!!