Whoever invented work should be beaten to a pulp. I hate work, I hate the fact that I have to wake up every morning, dress up fast, reach office on time ( at least try to) and do something that I do not want to do. I guess most people feel the same unless they are doing something that they want or are just mooching off the money their family has made, nevertheless, Mondays suck ass, Tuesdays aren't any better. I guess the only reason people go to office is for the money and social pressure.
Anyways, Fridays are amazing. You know the weekend is here, you can feel this excitement tingling in your body which isn't due to you watching some hot girl twerking almost semi nude on a youtube video. Its Friday, friday and unlike the Rebecca Black song it feels fucking amazing. You walk out of office like a boss, you own the weekend , you do what you want for the two days. Unless of course you have a stupid presentation to prepare and make for that dreaded day of the week, Monday. We all have 1/7th of our life, every fucking Monday.
To make our weekends even sweeter, we folks at the 11th floor decided to have a small party. Ok, its not a small party, its the small group of people who camp right outside one of the top executives cabin who have decided to make Friday's all more memorable and enjoyable.
We ensure that every Friday one of the murgas gets slaughtered, meaning every Friday one of the group has to treat the rest of the group, the menu can be anything and it must include vegetarian and non vegetarian items, veg because 3 members of our cult are vegetarians and non veg because I fucking said so and I will not fill my tummy with vegetarian snacks, no freaking way.
Manish and I drafted a mail so that everyone is in the loop, we don't want people chickening out from their responsibilities after all that is all I get to hear in the office. "Why don't you take some responsibility? Who is responsible for this? Why do people run away from owning up and taking responsibility"
You want responsibility and ownership? You got it!
The mail is drafted and sent across to the survivors who want to bring back happiness and joy to the 11th floor. Mr Poddar, Head of Finance 11th floor, Mr K, the kind of deo ordering and overall nice guy who is the butt of all our jokes. Ms. Enakshi Podder, Assistant Head of Consumer insights, Ms. Tanya Abraham, Brand manager of VLC (11th floor only), Tuhin/Tauheen da Super head Consumer insights and then there is Naveen who seems to be developing more dark circles than those seen during Pacific Rim when the Kaijus were ravaging earth. Manish is the final piece of the puzzle, he is basically the head of Operations making sure everyone is in line and that the finance team has released the budget for bringing in the food. Of course no party is complete without a bit of craziness and thats where I come in, form ordering the food for everyone to making sure everyone is here to start the party!
Our wining and dining starts post 6:30 PM when work is a little less and the weekend feeling is coming. The food comes and everyone hogs, with me throwing in a couple of stupid veg jokes just to piss Mr K off. Then I do my little act of freaking people out by acting a little OTT, that is what gets the ball rolling.
This party helps us to relax a lot, preparing for the weekend, our menu includes momos, noodles, chicken, sandwiches, KFC. Yes even KFC is part of the menu, those are the best days but we don't complain as long we get to fill our tummies. We have to do this because the snacks we get in office are absolutely whack. By whack I mean yuck.
Unfortunately this party does have its limitations, often one member of the group is missing and that is when the party does not work out so well, we need everyone and I guess its this tight knit bunch that actually makes office more bearable than what it is. Kudos to our group for all the madness we do, without this we, well I would have been absolutely jacked in office.
Showing posts with label Food. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Food. Show all posts
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Saturday, September 21, 2013
5 Point Maaza
There was a small girl stuck in a dark desolate place which was eating her soul and bringing in misery that she never expected to come and be a part of the life she was leading. A change in guard had completely destroyed her happiness and had taken away all the joy that was within her.
Her only ray of hope was the small lunch box provided at the dungeon which kept her chained. Till now she had been accepting the crummy fruits from one evil lord which was owning all the orchards, the hero came in the form of the "Orgapure", a hero so pure that not even the slightest hint of non vegetarian food was to be provided and the icing on the cake of the entire ordering circle was the presence of the sweet heavenly nectar called Maaza, you know the Aamsutra which Katrina so sexually advertises, ok so thats for Slice but you get the picture.
So we both order our fruit boxes from Orgapure, yes I can't continue the Game of throne -esque structure anymore. I took the option of taking up Orgapure not because I want to eat veg food in office but rather the fact that they have the best fruits around, I carry my food from my home nowadays, this lady however wanted to take the box just for the fact that the Maaza was being presented to her. A point she made, repeatedly to me and Manish,
"Next week I will be having maaza"
"Manish, Maaza time"
"Karim & Manish, maaza aayega next week se"
She kept on harping about it like the day would not end until we made her gulp down a gallon of maaza. It was left to the two of us to make sure things didn't go over the top.
Day 1
As usual our lunch boxes came and the orgapure boxes come the earliest, eagerly I open the box in hope for the maaza , lo and behold, fate is a cruel, cruel thing. No maaza at all , instead they had this mango delicacy which I can't remember. It was like a preserve of the mango, a cross between a jam and a pickle, anyways a fellow football fan was gobbling it up ,Suva, not giving a damn as to what was going about.
She on the other hand was going crazy as to why she did not get the maaza, cursing our souls since she believed we had something to do with it and that we had taken the maaza away, cross our hearts and souls ,manish and I had nothing to do with it.
Not that she was going to listen to it and she still blamed us throughout lunch that we had jinxed the arrival of the Maaza, we on the other hand told her that she had jinxed it thanks to the continuous love affair for the maaza.
Day one, Maaza 1 Girl 0
Day 2
The food boxes come in and she is away doing some work. I have a peek into my box and I find that there is a maaza drink pouch in it, quick as a flash, I give my pack to the MR girl in the office Enakshi, to hide it and then I take the other Maaza and Manish hides it away from plain slight. Coolly I fix her disturbed box to make sure she doesn't get a clue as to what has transpired.
She comes back and opens the box and instantly she sees something is a miss, she then does the exact thing that I expected her to. She tries to open my fruit box and also finds the maaza missing.
She then screams out our names like we had done the biggest crime in the world. Blaming us for taking the maaza, "I know you guys have taken it, give it back!". While we are giggling away and claiming that we did not take it. This blame game goes on for 10 minutes , while we finish one maaza while she is piercing us with a stare that someone would give to someone who has just shot their beloved.
We finally do relent and give her the maaza.
She then says "Now I will sit here between 12:30 PM and 1: 30 PM to make sure you guys dont take my maaza"
Challenge accepted
Us 1 Girl -1
Day 3
Again our food box comes at around 12:45, she is acting like a cop on a crime scene, constantly searching for suspects. I open my box and we start bursting out in laughter.
No maaza today also, they gave that preservative and while she starts thinking that we are somehow responsible for the situation, its anything but and all the folks on our floor have a hearty laugh.
The constant torrent of jokes on the both of us by the girl in the last week seems to have created a sort of jinx on her, she just was not getting the maaza she needs and well the one she doesn't deserve.
Us 2 Girl -1
Day 4
The vigil is set, she sits patiently for the drink of her choice to come, while she has kept the box in front of her she was busy on the phone with her better half. We sneak a peek at what drink has come in the box.
Great scots! Its freaking Appy Fizz, that crazy bubbly apple drink. Mo fucking hell, we now had to do something. She had already taken out the Fizz and kept it beside her, while she was busy talking to Mr Special, I calmly walk up to her desk, act like I am searching for some file and slyly take away the Fizz. Hidden from her eyes, we go back to our normal work.
When she is done with the call, she screams out in anger, WHO TOOK MY APPY FIZZ?
I KNOW ITS MANISH OR KARIM! I KNOW!!!!!!!!
You know that Batman dialogue, SWEAR TO ME! when he is interrogating a suspect while he is hanging upside down, I think it was detective Flass, this was almost the same line she was using to get the details out of us. Everyone is office is having a good laugh, we are trying to keep out cool and deny that we have any wrong doing, we even state that she was keeping watch over the stuff and how could she have let it get out of her sight.
She took Manish' cell phone as a part of an exchange but that didn't deter us, we still maintained we haven't done anything, again after a lot of relenting we decided to give her back the drink. Taught her a lesson about bloating we did, so much for the "vigil" that she tried to keep.
Us 3 Girl -1
Day 5
We had planned to take the pranking to a whole new level. We were thinking of asking the delivery boys to give us the boxes first so that we can empty her carton of the drink and keep the empty carton inside, that would have really started a fire.
Fortunately that event never transpired. Again the Orgapure guys decided to give that mango preserve, so the final score for the week turned out.
Us 4 Girl -1
She did learn a few lessons though, not to bloat big, not to act like she can pwn us with regard to pranking and not to scream and shout about the drink in her lunch box.
This week was done, Next week its going to start all over again.
Yaari Dosti Taaza Maaza
Her only ray of hope was the small lunch box provided at the dungeon which kept her chained. Till now she had been accepting the crummy fruits from one evil lord which was owning all the orchards, the hero came in the form of the "Orgapure", a hero so pure that not even the slightest hint of non vegetarian food was to be provided and the icing on the cake of the entire ordering circle was the presence of the sweet heavenly nectar called Maaza, you know the Aamsutra which Katrina so sexually advertises, ok so thats for Slice but you get the picture.
So we both order our fruit boxes from Orgapure, yes I can't continue the Game of throne -esque structure anymore. I took the option of taking up Orgapure not because I want to eat veg food in office but rather the fact that they have the best fruits around, I carry my food from my home nowadays, this lady however wanted to take the box just for the fact that the Maaza was being presented to her. A point she made, repeatedly to me and Manish,
"Next week I will be having maaza"
"Manish, Maaza time"
"Karim & Manish, maaza aayega next week se"
She kept on harping about it like the day would not end until we made her gulp down a gallon of maaza. It was left to the two of us to make sure things didn't go over the top.
Day 1
As usual our lunch boxes came and the orgapure boxes come the earliest, eagerly I open the box in hope for the maaza , lo and behold, fate is a cruel, cruel thing. No maaza at all , instead they had this mango delicacy which I can't remember. It was like a preserve of the mango, a cross between a jam and a pickle, anyways a fellow football fan was gobbling it up ,Suva, not giving a damn as to what was going about.
She on the other hand was going crazy as to why she did not get the maaza, cursing our souls since she believed we had something to do with it and that we had taken the maaza away, cross our hearts and souls ,manish and I had nothing to do with it.
Not that she was going to listen to it and she still blamed us throughout lunch that we had jinxed the arrival of the Maaza, we on the other hand told her that she had jinxed it thanks to the continuous love affair for the maaza.
Day one, Maaza 1 Girl 0
Day 2
The food boxes come in and she is away doing some work. I have a peek into my box and I find that there is a maaza drink pouch in it, quick as a flash, I give my pack to the MR girl in the office Enakshi, to hide it and then I take the other Maaza and Manish hides it away from plain slight. Coolly I fix her disturbed box to make sure she doesn't get a clue as to what has transpired.
She comes back and opens the box and instantly she sees something is a miss, she then does the exact thing that I expected her to. She tries to open my fruit box and also finds the maaza missing.
She then screams out our names like we had done the biggest crime in the world. Blaming us for taking the maaza, "I know you guys have taken it, give it back!". While we are giggling away and claiming that we did not take it. This blame game goes on for 10 minutes , while we finish one maaza while she is piercing us with a stare that someone would give to someone who has just shot their beloved.
We finally do relent and give her the maaza.
She then says "Now I will sit here between 12:30 PM and 1: 30 PM to make sure you guys dont take my maaza"
Challenge accepted
Us 1 Girl -1
Day 3
Again our food box comes at around 12:45, she is acting like a cop on a crime scene, constantly searching for suspects. I open my box and we start bursting out in laughter.
No maaza today also, they gave that preservative and while she starts thinking that we are somehow responsible for the situation, its anything but and all the folks on our floor have a hearty laugh.
The constant torrent of jokes on the both of us by the girl in the last week seems to have created a sort of jinx on her, she just was not getting the maaza she needs and well the one she doesn't deserve.
Us 2 Girl -1
Day 4
The vigil is set, she sits patiently for the drink of her choice to come, while she has kept the box in front of her she was busy on the phone with her better half. We sneak a peek at what drink has come in the box.
Great scots! Its freaking Appy Fizz, that crazy bubbly apple drink. Mo fucking hell, we now had to do something. She had already taken out the Fizz and kept it beside her, while she was busy talking to Mr Special, I calmly walk up to her desk, act like I am searching for some file and slyly take away the Fizz. Hidden from her eyes, we go back to our normal work.
When she is done with the call, she screams out in anger, WHO TOOK MY APPY FIZZ?
I KNOW ITS MANISH OR KARIM! I KNOW!!!!!!!!
You know that Batman dialogue, SWEAR TO ME! when he is interrogating a suspect while he is hanging upside down, I think it was detective Flass, this was almost the same line she was using to get the details out of us. Everyone is office is having a good laugh, we are trying to keep out cool and deny that we have any wrong doing, we even state that she was keeping watch over the stuff and how could she have let it get out of her sight.
She took Manish' cell phone as a part of an exchange but that didn't deter us, we still maintained we haven't done anything, again after a lot of relenting we decided to give her back the drink. Taught her a lesson about bloating we did, so much for the "vigil" that she tried to keep.
Us 3 Girl -1
Day 5
We had planned to take the pranking to a whole new level. We were thinking of asking the delivery boys to give us the boxes first so that we can empty her carton of the drink and keep the empty carton inside, that would have really started a fire.
Fortunately that event never transpired. Again the Orgapure guys decided to give that mango preserve, so the final score for the week turned out.
Us 4 Girl -1
She did learn a few lessons though, not to bloat big, not to act like she can pwn us with regard to pranking and not to scream and shout about the drink in her lunch box.
This week was done, Next week its going to start all over again.
Yaari Dosti Taaza Maaza
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Sweeeeeeeet Rice
A bong loves to eat, that would be the true calling for most bongs and none of them can ever give up a chance to eat free food. I might not consider myself a true bong, with all the avoidance for mutton and them fish dishes but I do love to eat, especially if its food I like.
That is why its such a pain to go to a lot of dinners, weddings, parties, the food is often not up to my liking. Earlier I would not eat at all in the vege marwari weddings because, well I need chicken as an item at everymeal. Breakfast, lunch and dinner, a chicken preparation is a must, this can't be done in them vege weddings, now am a bit better. I would only eat the ton of desserts that are presented in them weddings, start off with a ton of their fried stuff, pakoras and all, then swiftly switch on to the plethora of desserts on offer.
Another set of invitations I fear and loathe are the bengali ones, not that I have an issue with bengalis, its just that one of the few things that irks me is a sweet main course. The rice in most of these bengali weddings/invitations ends up being a concoction of "Fried rice dipped in syrup", Its just not palatable for me. People gorge that stuff down while I end up looking like a lost soul searching for a puppy in china. If the rice being sweet enough is not an issue, they try to top it up with a little more "richness", if that is a word. They put all em dry fruits in the rice, so I would be chewing cashew nuts, raisins etc with cooked rice, again a no-no for me, jeez I hate that sweet rice stuff and so I just hate going to any bengali invitation, I end up eating nothing apart from the fried fish (the only fish preparation I would eat, as long as there are no bones in it) and then I have the oh so necessary ice cream at the parties.
Its about time that people learn that sweet rice can be a dessert and not a main course but its the masses that make the rules up and not just one soul, so while you guys enjoy gulping down a ton of sweet rice with that oily mutton preparation at the next wedding, please remember that far away , a lonely boy could not come to the wedding as he could not take in that sweet sweet rice which you guys go gaga for.
That is why its such a pain to go to a lot of dinners, weddings, parties, the food is often not up to my liking. Earlier I would not eat at all in the vege marwari weddings because, well I need chicken as an item at everymeal. Breakfast, lunch and dinner, a chicken preparation is a must, this can't be done in them vege weddings, now am a bit better. I would only eat the ton of desserts that are presented in them weddings, start off with a ton of their fried stuff, pakoras and all, then swiftly switch on to the plethora of desserts on offer.
Another set of invitations I fear and loathe are the bengali ones, not that I have an issue with bengalis, its just that one of the few things that irks me is a sweet main course. The rice in most of these bengali weddings/invitations ends up being a concoction of "Fried rice dipped in syrup", Its just not palatable for me. People gorge that stuff down while I end up looking like a lost soul searching for a puppy in china. If the rice being sweet enough is not an issue, they try to top it up with a little more "richness", if that is a word. They put all em dry fruits in the rice, so I would be chewing cashew nuts, raisins etc with cooked rice, again a no-no for me, jeez I hate that sweet rice stuff and so I just hate going to any bengali invitation, I end up eating nothing apart from the fried fish (the only fish preparation I would eat, as long as there are no bones in it) and then I have the oh so necessary ice cream at the parties.
Its about time that people learn that sweet rice can be a dessert and not a main course but its the masses that make the rules up and not just one soul, so while you guys enjoy gulping down a ton of sweet rice with that oily mutton preparation at the next wedding, please remember that far away , a lonely boy could not come to the wedding as he could not take in that sweet sweet rice which you guys go gaga for.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Fire + Bownies + Ice Cream!
Those people who have known me long enough should know by now that i am not the biggest fan of vegetarian food,i mean i cant bear the thing because there is no vegetable no matter how it is cooked that has the texture of meat,so getting an invitation to a marriage where vegetarian food is on the menu is a must avoid for me.I avoid most marriage functions except the ones which are family related or if of a close friend who has personally called me,case in point Nishant,completely veggie food but i still went there coz i still consider him to be one of my best friends and so does he.
A few days back i got an invitation to a wedding from the complex at the Horticulture gardens or thats at least what its called,now i wouldnt have gone but the invitee made sure that i was to come by letting me know that all me pals from the building would be coming [ZB,Aaush,Rahul bhai and Rahul] ,Madhav and his younger brother Naren/Narain[dont know how his name is spelt] both would be there as it was their cousin's wedding.So all decked up i was ,which means i wore a crummy shirt and all [i hate shirts] and was trying to look as decent as possible.ZB drobe his dad ,me dad,another uncle from the building and me to the wedding,and so we entered ,The Ideal towers gangs were there in full flow,one gang was the above 40's-45's-50's and the other gang was the above 18's,although none of us look anything like 18.
As soon as we entered the place Naren tagged along with us ,good little kid he is,for now at least, ZB and the gang met up,i was there as well,since the gang was there only one thing could go on "chiggi",now dont think chiggi is that stupid little song from that hindi film Blue [or as they would say BBBBOOLLLLLOO] chiggi is the quint essentiel part of daily life in Ideal Towers or in fact in most friend circles where we gotta make fun of one another no matter how sick or disgusting it gets.
As usual since it was a marwari wedding there were a ton of starters and snacks [all veggie of course] we had pakoras vadas soups custard and all while there were a ton of things to drink ,from cold coffee with ice cream,to some freaky orange drink with ice cream,everything was pretty good,i hogged on the vadas the most,they were small triangle bits but man they were oh so tasty.
Now i must mention one thing,whenever i am forced to go to one of these veggie weddings i prefer to hog on the dessert rather than the main course,but usually the dessert consists of some crummy indian things,mithai and all which to be frank i get to eat almost everyday if there is a need for it,i love however the continental and baked goods,so as the oh so good hosts they were[and i aint being sarcastic madhav and naren were exceptional hosts] they now took us to the dinner counters which were divided into many stalls ,Indian ,Chinese ,Sweets ,Dessert ,yes there were separate stalls for Sweets and Desserts.
So the first attack was on the chinese stall,i must say the chinese was pretty good,just if there was a presence of shredded chicken it would have been perfect but who cares,the food was free.Naren and Madhav then take us to te sweets counter but i was the least interested in it,ZB did eat a ton of sweets but i wanted to try out the brownie i had overheard they were good,infact one of Naren's friends ate around 5 brownies.So i ask em both where were the brownies and they did take me to the place,Madhav told the waiters/cooks to give me as many brownies as i would like,i asked for 3 ,and then something totally unexpected was to happen.
The brownies were kept on a plate ,next to a stove and a pan,i dont know why,as soon as i asked for the brownie a guy puts three of em into the pan and starts heating em over the stove then he adds some chocolate sauce and flambes it[you know where the entire thing catches fire and all] i didnt know what he was to do ,and since i am a dickhead i stood right next to thee fire,almost got burnt,the brownies did get burnt and they were brilliant,so 3 brownies and a scoop of ice cream plus a slice of pineapple cake,amazing,and i have to say this,and i mean it from my heart mind soul everything that was THE BEST dessert i had in the past one year,yes going back to January 2009,that was the last memorable time i had a good ,wait fucking awesome dessert and today topped it ,i had another 3 brownies and ice cream again ,hell it was so fucking good that i did tell madhav.
"Man this is fucking good best fucking dessert i have had in a year"
To which he was a little embarrassed because it was his family members and all present there and well my colourful language isnt the best advert of his friends,nevertheless both the brothers were quite happy that we hogged our ass' off,to end it all i must say one thing i never liked nor will ever like vegetarian cuisine but hell man if there is a dessert platter like this all hail vegeteranian cuisine.[Vegeteranian is like mediterranean cuisine,just bear with me ]
A few days back i got an invitation to a wedding from the complex at the Horticulture gardens or thats at least what its called,now i wouldnt have gone but the invitee made sure that i was to come by letting me know that all me pals from the building would be coming [ZB,Aaush,Rahul bhai and Rahul] ,Madhav and his younger brother Naren/Narain[dont know how his name is spelt] both would be there as it was their cousin's wedding.So all decked up i was ,which means i wore a crummy shirt and all [i hate shirts] and was trying to look as decent as possible.ZB drobe his dad ,me dad,another uncle from the building and me to the wedding,and so we entered ,The Ideal towers gangs were there in full flow,one gang was the above 40's-45's-50's and the other gang was the above 18's,although none of us look anything like 18.
As soon as we entered the place Naren tagged along with us ,good little kid he is,for now at least, ZB and the gang met up,i was there as well,since the gang was there only one thing could go on "chiggi",now dont think chiggi is that stupid little song from that hindi film Blue [or as they would say BBBBOOLLLLLOO] chiggi is the quint essentiel part of daily life in Ideal Towers or in fact in most friend circles where we gotta make fun of one another no matter how sick or disgusting it gets.
As usual since it was a marwari wedding there were a ton of starters and snacks [all veggie of course] we had pakoras vadas soups custard and all while there were a ton of things to drink ,from cold coffee with ice cream,to some freaky orange drink with ice cream,everything was pretty good,i hogged on the vadas the most,they were small triangle bits but man they were oh so tasty.
Now i must mention one thing,whenever i am forced to go to one of these veggie weddings i prefer to hog on the dessert rather than the main course,but usually the dessert consists of some crummy indian things,mithai and all which to be frank i get to eat almost everyday if there is a need for it,i love however the continental and baked goods,so as the oh so good hosts they were[and i aint being sarcastic madhav and naren were exceptional hosts] they now took us to the dinner counters which were divided into many stalls ,Indian ,Chinese ,Sweets ,Dessert ,yes there were separate stalls for Sweets and Desserts.
So the first attack was on the chinese stall,i must say the chinese was pretty good,just if there was a presence of shredded chicken it would have been perfect but who cares,the food was free.Naren and Madhav then take us to te sweets counter but i was the least interested in it,ZB did eat a ton of sweets but i wanted to try out the brownie i had overheard they were good,infact one of Naren's friends ate around 5 brownies.So i ask em both where were the brownies and they did take me to the place,Madhav told the waiters/cooks to give me as many brownies as i would like,i asked for 3 ,and then something totally unexpected was to happen.
The brownies were kept on a plate ,next to a stove and a pan,i dont know why,as soon as i asked for the brownie a guy puts three of em into the pan and starts heating em over the stove then he adds some chocolate sauce and flambes it[you know where the entire thing catches fire and all] i didnt know what he was to do ,and since i am a dickhead i stood right next to thee fire,almost got burnt,the brownies did get burnt and they were brilliant,so 3 brownies and a scoop of ice cream plus a slice of pineapple cake,amazing,and i have to say this,and i mean it from my heart mind soul everything that was THE BEST dessert i had in the past one year,yes going back to January 2009,that was the last memorable time i had a good ,wait fucking awesome dessert and today topped it ,i had another 3 brownies and ice cream again ,hell it was so fucking good that i did tell madhav.
"Man this is fucking good best fucking dessert i have had in a year"
To which he was a little embarrassed because it was his family members and all present there and well my colourful language isnt the best advert of his friends,nevertheless both the brothers were quite happy that we hogged our ass' off,to end it all i must say one thing i never liked nor will ever like vegetarian cuisine but hell man if there is a dessert platter like this all hail vegeteranian cuisine.[Vegeteranian is like mediterranean cuisine,just bear with me ]
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