Black Saddath 3:How many times can we screw up?

Now although we had a killer line up for the band,i mean we did have one of the best guitar players in calcutta playing for us...if you assholes dont know already it was and still is Adil,guitar fucking God man,we had the ever improving son of the God.not Jesus,am talking bout Babla,playing the bass and on certain occasions the rhythm guitar as well,for all the wealth of talent we had,we screwed up so much more than a new prostitute in the flesh trade,i mean it was either me or nagu or gablu or pogo always screwing up sometime or another ,i dont think we ever had a perfect show,well we did have 1 perfect show ,that was the first competition i went to,absolutely perfect no glitches or problems at all,but as usual all good thing come to an end,and in this case a stuttering end.

The first real screw up i remember is of course of the nagu man[somraj for all of you people who keep forgetting],the guy is a pretty decent drummer but for some reason at home and at practice he will be perfect but on stage he is a nervous wreck like he is getting the reports to find out if he has AIDS or not,i mean just before we would go on stage he would be in pieces,moving all around the back stage,shaking his sticks all the time,asking the others bout the layout of the songs,the counts and all,and almost on a regular basis he would jack up some song or another by missing a beat,losing his drumstick[not a chicken one] or just forgetting what to do in a song.He has screwed up in almost every show,but we should cut him some slack coz he is partly bihari.....

Then we had another screw up when we went to play at nicco park,we were playing the ever classic "Fear of the Dark"-Iron Maiden,and afzal did screw up the timing of one of the parts,but adil made up for it and we won the bloody competition ,we still were better than almost every other band,even after the screw up we were that damn good,so it really doesnt count as a screw up.

There was this show with me playing with pogo,gablu,eeessshhhkkkkyyyyy and sumitano dickhead!
yes sumitano was gonna SING?????yes oh yes he was,again we decided to play that good old stable STB song "Breaking the Law"-Judas Priest ,and man did we suck,i almost gave up halfway through the song when pogo decides to take it up a notch and he fucking dropped his drumstick yet again and we sounded crap,although we were placed like 12th out of 30 bands,we did get some respect coz gablu improvised and did a quite unique solo.By the way Sumits singin was really off man,as off as you waking your dad at 3 in the morning for some cola,oh wait nagu has already done that to his dad.

Then an infamous horlicks fest ,in fact 2 tales have to be told from this one fest which i attended twice,so the first time we went we had to fight with our Vice Princy Madar chod Wheatley didnt allow us to attend the fest but thanks to LJ Fuller ,our "distinguished" princi we could attend it that too on short notice,so when we did go to the show [all 6 of us] we were told we can go on stage with just 3 instruments.....so obviously guitar check,bass check,drum check,rhythm???? keyboard?????
ummm no way......so i said "fuck it i aint goin on stage to be a choir singin group"
babla and gablu did go,although afzal sang well,babla and gablu sang off scale and off tune......but thats what we get in a bachcha fest.
The 2nd time around the fest was attended by babla,nagu chintoo and me,adil couldnt attend coz he was one of the judges,so we and by we i mean adil made a kickass rap rock song "Godfather",which to tell you the truth is amazing,and we practiced our ass off for that song,made it amazing and we were gonna perform that one song and that song alone,then babla said "No we need another song",we did do "American Idiot"-Greenday but it wasnt good,so we decided to not do that,but play and extended version of Godfather,the day of the show came and we played Godfather,everyone liked it .....and i mean everyone ,we played the extended version and we rocked and kickass,then when we were about to go off stage,
Babla:And we have another song for you guys..........American Idiot
and he starts playing......nagu who has left the drums runs back to start playing,i had switched off the keyboard and now had to find me tones again,and i kid you not it was the Worst rendition of any song EVER!....not even fucking close to anything good.....and as usual nagu forgot the song and the timings and all....as usual....oh yeah i stopped playing halfway through the song coz i completely forgot it......
safe to say we didnt win.......

There was another show which out dear sir Hiland told us to go to,where we had to play one hindi song at least,so adil picked up that aadat song and we went to the show,man it was bad,firstly all the schools were those christian schools,they all brought their choirs,we were the only "band",when the competition did start they all sang choir songs with just one or 2 instruments,we guys were all the while cursing Hiland,who was busy flirting with all the girls possible,it was an anglo chinese paradise man,we went to play on stage with as usual our staple "Breaking the Law" and "Its my Life" which were good,but Aadat was so way off,only adil and babla were any good that day,afzal gablu nagu and i sucked ass BIG TIME

Recently we played at nagu's college,where a massive BETRAY happened,babla was supposed to play with us but at the last minute he said he couldnt play with us coz "Weaponshop" were gonna play there.......anyways Adil did compensate by making 3 songs in 2 days [they were decent songs] we also decided to play "Kryptonite"-3 Doors Down,where i would play the SOLO....yay.....but the person singing the song would be Momocha Furailatpam Sharma[i know the spellings all wrong] he is this seniors of nagu,and you dont get one word of what he says in English,as russel peters defines so well....
"dont say nothing bed".......check him out on youtube
The songs we played that day,well some of em were gay,as usual Momocha-da.....came up on stage for the final performance....he forgot the timings the words and people couldnt make head or tail of what he was singing
The other songs were sung by chintoo,and as usual nagu would screw up,chintoo screwed up,i also did screw up but people couldnt make out my faults......the best performer of that day was gujju on bass...
by the way babla's decision not to play with us is the first and most MASSIVE BETRAY!
Weaponshop did win the competition tied with another band.......BETRAY?

Now after 2 years of being on the music circuit i have hung up my "boots" "bags" and "keyboards",am quite pleased with all that i have been part with......oh the crazy good old days.......if only i really could go back.....i bet almost everyone thinks the same........by the way WEAPONSHOP ARE FUCKING AWESOME....i did go to one of their shows .....so do check em out if possible at all

PS:I know i took a long time to make this post,but i was very ill for a week.....just recovered.....so enjoy....

Black Saddath 2:Older but not Wiser

Due to an overwhelming response by my legion of fans[2 people actually] i had to post a bit more on the musical journey a selective group had undertaken.

Although Adil was the mainstay of the band,the creative genius each other member had a designated role,babla was the yes man and is the gay love of adil's ,although we call it more of a father son relationship[adil being the dad],afzal our singer was the strong man who wouldnt change his mind no matter what,gablu was the one almost sane guy in the band but that wasnt for long he then became a foil for comedy throughout the practice,pragammoy[pogo] was the one guy who would actually abuse just as much as i or babla would and would shut babla up quite a few times,chintoo also joined us as a second guitarist later on,i was the all and out idiot ,a stupid freak having no knowledge of anything just there for stupid entertainment purposes and abusing a LOT.

It all started when nagu [the drummer] babla adil gablu afzal and i formed or were part of the school band,the band was up and doing well ,i was asked to join a few months later and so was gablu,practice we did hard,playing away at nagus "crib" where as usual babla's smell would over power our music quite often,his stench hasnt gone away now but he has found the wonder creation "deo spray".

We would get to competitions and the like when the junior school music teacher Hiland would let us know about em,coz for some reason a teacher representative was needed ,but this guy was a typical white boy asshole,first of all when we went to see him ,he was with a group of cheenas playing some crappy song on his keyboard,he had the same fucking keyboard as i do,after watching him play Adil said "eeeh Adeem is better than him",i know i was ,Hiland was a piss poor guy,but he did get us to some competitions,although he was an asshole we did use him to our advantage....

This was in class 11 for us gablu was a junior,and we had a bastard for a class teacher TK Shah ,yes that same fucker who used that "Saurav Ganguly" quip on me....check out E=MC^2 for more details bout this loser,and as we all hated this fuckers class we would use the "meetings" with Hiland as an excuse,although our meeting would not be more than 5 mins long we would walk all around school [our school is huge] goin to the A field,The B field,The C Field,roam about in the junior section and come back to class an hour later,hell we even were just sitting about in the junior section for 20 mins for no reason,for some reason TK never said jack to Adil,thanx to him we missed out on edumacation ,perfecto.

Now when we would arrive at the shows it would be a small green room packed with a load of bands,and as usual there had to be the "show offs" which meant people would dress up like rock stars ,you know black all about em,black nail polish,head bands ,wrist bands, there would always be the "drummers" who would twirl their sticks all in the air to show off,we would often just look and laugh coz the STB show was about to go on.

The STB show meant that babla and i would make stupid abusive comments left right and center and that would shut most of em up but some smart ass' would take out and start playing their instruments for no rhyme or reason so to shut their fucking traps up Adil was there,he would just set up normally and start playing song after song after song ,people started calling him "jukebox" coz he could play almost any known song,and then he would calmly say "eeeh sorry id ont know much" but at least he would shut a lot of people up.

Shows obviously werent all that they were cracked up to be,barely any hot girls at all ,crappy food,crappy bands [cept us and maybe one or 2 more],crappy crowds[cept the ever faithful STB gang],they would scream and shout no matter how good or bad we were.....

Of course we would level the playing field ,i remember one fest where one band where talking a lotta smack right after we came back from the stage and they were up next,we saw that one of their amps had been left behind,what were we to do?
we got a chance and we took it,we stuffed all out clothing ,which we had taken for the mock band competition and put it in me keyboard cover,we took the amp [it was a pretty decent one as well] and put it in the same bag in which all our costumes were previously kept,the people who were the culprits were ,me adil babla nagu chintoo and i think gabloo and afzal ,nevertheless we had to wait to see the looks on that schools face when they came off stage they were searching left right and center for it,
"yes we kept it here ....i dont know where it is.....oh god we are dead"
we were smirking away and sneaked out of the auditorium,kala mandir it was......
while we waited outside one more member of the same band came up to us and asked us if we had seen it
"nope.....we didnt see anything.....".....so cool so calm so collected....we could pass any lie detector test if it was required......

Although we didnt win the prize we certainly got something better ......that amp was like 4000 Rs and we needed another amp.......to go back to those days again.....


Coming soon "Black Saddath 3:how many times can we screw up?"